freespirit Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 9 hours ago, FarmGirlWorks said: I hear you! I wish I was that person who had a single career but no. Your trying something new is inspiring to me. I love the shell symbol (or metaphor or whatever). I have to believe that. Thanks. My wife had the single career. At the end of her life, she had so much regret about not taking the chance to follow things that had called her. And I do think about that part. While I wish life could have been easier around career and other things, I have few regrets over what I haven't done. I've followed my heart and though that's made life very challenging in some ways, it's also better in others. I think it can sometimes be much harder to have a certain perspective about one's own life. I used to feel like a flake when I told people all the different things I've done. But people have so often told me they admire the courage that takes, or say that I've lived an interesting life. It's so easy to go down the road of self-judgement, especially when living a life that's outside the box. Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission. Current Medications: Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats.. My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282 Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself. “After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver Link to comment
Zharul Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 what your symptom frespirit? July 2017 - 3 shots = one of them haloperidol and only olanzapine 20mg for 2 weeks , weight gained August 2017- waiting recovery from haloperidol , drug tapper 10mg ,weight gained , weak muscle September 2017- drugs tapper 5mg weight gained , weak muscle October 2017 - drugs free , no improvment from haldol , weight gained , weak muscle November 2017 - waiting haldol recovery since , weight gained , weak muscle Link to comment
freespirit Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 29 minutes ago, Zharul said: what your symptom frespirit? Are you asking what my symptoms were during tapering or after jumping off? Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission. Current Medications: Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats.. My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282 Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself. “After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver Link to comment
Zharul Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 during.. took any injection? July 2017 - 3 shots = one of them haloperidol and only olanzapine 20mg for 2 weeks , weight gained August 2017- waiting recovery from haloperidol , drug tapper 10mg ,weight gained , weak muscle September 2017- drugs tapper 5mg weight gained , weak muscle October 2017 - drugs free , no improvment from haldol , weight gained , weak muscle November 2017 - waiting haldol recovery since , weight gained , weak muscle Link to comment
Mentor FarmGirlWorks Posted July 21, 2018 Mentor Share Posted July 21, 2018 3 hours ago, freespirit said: It's so easy to go down the road of self-judgement, especially when living a life that's outside the box. Oh yes, oh yes it is. I went from one thing to the other although I did stick with graphic design-related work just in very (very) non-traditional places. But I said to myself I didn't want to be 50 and still hustling design work which has mainly happened ... I thought I wanted to be a funeral director and went so far as to get a license and a job doing that for six months. Round peg in a square hole. So what now. It is easy to become overwhelmed but that is not helpful. One step, one step. 3 hours ago, freespirit said: At the end of her life, she had so much regret about not taking the chance to follow things that had called her. Thank you. That spoke to me. Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017 Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017 Quit alcohol May 20, 2017 Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga "If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols Link to comment
freespirit Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 12 hours ago, Zharul said: during.. took any injection? I had typical WD symptoms--headaches, muscle and joint pain, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, tinnitus, blurry vision, floater, mood swings, insomnia, anxiety, fatigue, chills and sweats, depression, obsessive thoughts, etc. No, I never had any injections...except IV vitamins. I found almost any drug--Advil, Tylenol, antihistamines--had a serious rebound effect and only made things worse. Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission. Current Medications: Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats.. My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282 Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself. “After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver Link to comment
freespirit Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 10 hours ago, FarmGirlWorks said: Oh yes, oh yes it is. I went from one thing to the other although I did stick with graphic design-related work just in very (very) non-traditional places. But I said to myself I didn't want to be 50 and still hustling design work which has mainly happened ... I thought I wanted to be a funeral director and went so far as to get a license and a job doing that for six months. Round peg in a square hole. So what now. It is easy to become overwhelmed but that is not helpful. One step, one step. Thank you. That spoke to me. Some roads don't lead to the destination we imagine, but that doesn't make them worthless ie. your exploration in being a funeral director. Sometimes, I think, we just need to try things on and they don't always fit the way we think they will. I agree with just one step, which can be one very small step. And in WD, there needs to be lots of rest between any steps. It can be painfully slow, but rushing things has almost always turned out to be a mistake...though it can be hard to resist the temptation. All that waiting and not doing. But important things can be happening inside in periods of not doing. It's just not apparent. A meditation teacher told a story of a particular kind of bamboo that for the first 7 years, shows no signs of growth above ground: all it's doing is growing a root system. Once that's well established, it starts growing above ground. I think we all hope it doesn't take us 7 years....but something is happening, even when we can't see it. I have to trust in that. There has been a theme in the work I've done over the past 30 years. I like to think I'm refining the best ways of working with people and being of service. Frederick Buechner, a writer and theologian says something like "true service is where your deep gladness meets the world's deep need". I've always liked that perspective. Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission. Current Medications: Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats.. My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282 Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself. “After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted July 22, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 22, 2018 On 7/21/2018 at 10:54 AM, freespirit said: Some roads don't lead to the destination we imagine, but that doesn't make them worthless ie. your exploration in being a funeral director. Sometimes, I think, we just need to try things on and they don't always fit the way we think they will. I agree with just one step, which can be one very small step. And in WD, there needs to be lots of rest between any steps. It can be painfully slow, but rushing things has almost always turned out to be a mistake...though it can be hard to resist the temptation. All that waiting and not doing. But important things can be happening inside in periods of not doing. It's just not apparent. A meditation teacher told a story of a particular kind of bamboo that for the first 7 years, shows no signs of growth above ground: all it's doing is growing a root system. Once that's well established, it starts growing above ground. I think we all hope it doesn't take us 7 years....but something is happening, even when we can't see it. I have to trust in that. There has been a theme in the work I've done over the past 30 years. I like to think I'm refining the best ways of working with people and being of service. Frederick Buechner, a writer and theologian says something like "true service is where your deep gladness meets the world's deep need". I've always liked that perspective. freespirit!!!! Hi. I just love that your back for a bit posting.......... So deep.......and speaks to me. Just like it did a few years back. Anyway.......just hi and hugs for now......... Love, peace, healing, and growth, mmt Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Mentor FarmGirlWorks Posted July 23, 2018 Mentor Share Posted July 23, 2018 On 7/21/2018 at 9:54 AM, freespirit said: A meditation teacher told a story of a particular kind of bamboo that for the first 7 years, shows no signs of growth above ground: all it's doing is growing a root system. Once that's well established, it starts growing above ground. I think we all hope it doesn't take us 7 years....but something is happening, even when we can't see it. I have to trust in that @freespirit: I like that and have to believe it as well. The outer is not apparent but the roiling beneath is. A few months ago, I had a strong pull to pick a card from the Animal Medicine deck which I had not done in a long time due to not feeling like myself since the WD started. I picked the Snake card which symbolizes transmutation. Experiencing and living through several poisonous snake bites -- whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual -- and ingesting the poison to transmute it. I feel like the past 14.5 years has been a series of snake bites... esp. the past 15ish months of WD. But I have to believe that there is a transmutation and a root system that is happening. Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017 Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017 Quit alcohol May 20, 2017 Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga "If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols Link to comment
freespirit Posted July 23, 2018 Author Share Posted July 23, 2018 22 hours ago, manymoretodays said: freespirit!!!! Hi. I just love that your back for a bit posting.......... So deep.......and speaks to me. Just like it did a few years back. Anyway.......just hi and hugs for now......... Love, peace, healing, and growth, mmt Thanks for the hugs manymore. Glad there's something here that resonates with you. Hope you are doing well. Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission. Current Medications: Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats.. My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282 Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself. “After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver Link to comment
freespirit Posted July 23, 2018 Author Share Posted July 23, 2018 11 hours ago, FarmGirlWorks said: @freespirit: I like that and have to believe it as well. The outer is not apparent but the roiling beneath is. A few months ago, I had a strong pull to pick a card from the Animal Medicine deck which I had not done in a long time due to not feeling like myself since the WD started. I picked the Snake card which symbolizes transmutation. Experiencing and living through several poisonous snake bites -- whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual -- and ingesting the poison to transmute it. I feel like the past 14.5 years has been a series of snake bites... esp. the past 15ish months of WD. But I have to believe that there is a transmutation and a root system that is happening. That's a lot of years of snake bites! Hopefully WD is the last one of those...and you're on your way. Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission. Current Medications: Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats.. My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282 Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself. “After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted August 9, 2018 Administrator Share Posted August 9, 2018 Freespirit's Success Story is here Congratulations, Freespirit! This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
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