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☼ freespirit: Mirtazapine withdrawal


freespirit

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7 hours ago, bubble said:

Hello Freespirit,

 

I was so happy to read of your healing and very impressed with all the coping practice and self-care that you do. I became more diligent in my practice :)

 

I read on Kara's thread about your good experience with acupuncture. I haven't tried it yet because I'm afraid it would made things worse. And the problem is how to explain our 'problem' to an acupancturist so that they do the right thing and not try to 'increase my energy level' or something. ... If you have any tips I would be most grateful.

Thanks Bubble. The practices are a way of life and very much my spiritual path. One of many benefits is soothing of the nervous system.

 

in terms of acupuncture, even though we are all living with WD, I think there are individual differences. So what's worked for me may not suit you. But I'll say a few generalities. 

1. Getting a recommendation or referral from someone (friend, family member,  colleague) can be a good starting place. Both acupuncturists I've seen had treated friends of mine. And both friends, though not in WD , have sensitive nervous systems.

2. It can be useful as with any practitioner, to educate about the effects of ad and about WD.

3. At least at the beginning, be sure to tell them you need relaxing or soothing treatments. That could change over time though. I've had more energizing treatments without ill effects.

4. I think it can be valuable to look at it as a process and not as a fix. Sometimes going for treatments improves 1 thing and temporarily makes something else worse. Maybe that's just the way healing goes. I've become much more accepting of the process.

5. For me, there were times when I chose not to go for treatments. I discovered that when things were intense earlier on, there was more chance of things becoming worse, or I wasn't in a place to tolerate that happening.

6. If a practitioner isn't willing to listen and respect your needs and knowledge of your body, move on.

 

i tried to educate the first acupuncturist I saw. While the treatments were usually good, the relationship was a real problem. I quit and never went back. The man I currently work with is Chinese and English is not his first language. I've never talked to him about medication or WD. When I have a symptom I want help with, I go and tell him what it is. Usually, it improves with 1 session and occasionally I'll need a 2nd one. This works fine for me. I suppose early on, I hoped acupuncture would fix WD. Now, I don't really know for sure the source of symptoms, as they are usually things I had long before I started taking ad. I'm happy to have relief

from whatever has been bothering me. One qi gong teacher says he's found that people who practice tai chi or qi gong need 1/3 as many acupuncture treatments than those who don't. He's been a dr of Chinese medicine for over 40 years, so he's seen a lot. I think it's likely that both meditation and qi gong can make acupuncture more effective.

 

i hope there's something in there that's helpful to you. Feel free to ask any specific questions too. Good luck, with whatever you decide.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

This is most useful! Thank you very much.

 

I will actually go to Taiwan for a while and will have access to some traditional Chinese doctors so was wondering if I could approach them. I'm not expecting any quick fixes. I know that my brain needs time to heal itself but if some little thinks might facilitate the process I would like to try it out.

 

I also very much appreciate the idea that it works best in conjunction with other practices and I hope I will have more time for myself to get more into those than I have so far...

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Freespirit,

 

Hi, I have been following your story and histamine issues since coming off Remeron with great interest.  I have been free of Remeron for a month after a 3 yr slow taper.  I don't have a lot of symptoms and I'm doing quite well.  However, I am definitely experiencing the histamine issue and its interfering with sleep for obvious reasons.  I've been predominantly paleo for awhile but would like to square things away by adopting a low histamine approach.  Could you be so kind, as to point me to some resources you used or continue to use for assistance with this.  You seem very knowledgeable in this area.

 

It didn't help that I've always had hayfever and I jumped off the medicine right smack in the middle of an unusually intense ragweed season.  I've used reactine on the really bad nights and my sleep does improve but I don't want to rely on OTC meds.  

 

Thanks

 

BB

<p>Dec 2012 - Some benzo's, some AD's for PTSD induced anxiety and insomnia

August 2013 - things go south with benzo (Klonipin), tolerance withdrawal, REALLY SICK, AD's (effexor/citalopram) added for "reset"!?!?, EVEN SICKER

Dec 2013 - RESEARCH begins…located Ashton manual (first breakthrough), my A-HA moment = benzo + too fast WD of other meds caused this mess...

Jan 2014 - convinced to take Mirtazapine 15-30 mg to help with Klonipin/ temazepam/ Citalopram taper, hit with wd symptoms but powered through

Feb 2014- stopped Klonopinipin (too quick taper but was destroying CNS) -, more wd symptoms but masked by Mirtazapine

March 2014 - silly ct attempt of 30mg Mirt , HORRIBLE hwd, no sleep, lasted 1 month, found this site (second breakthrough), armed with new knowledge, began proper slow taper of Mirtazapine and doing exponentially better, roughly 10% of each dose, and some long holds!

April 2014 - reinstate 7.5 mg Mirt, (30 day hold then slow taper for rest of year, took months to stabilize)

Jan 2015 - 3 mg (slow taper for rest of year)

Jan 2016 - 1.87 mg (slow taper for rest of year)

Jan 2017 - 0.37 mg (slow taper continues)

Aug 27, 2017 - 0 mg (JUMPED from 0.12 mg) - DRUG FREE!

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Hi Bayboy. Congratulations on your successful taper. As you may have read, there are some problems with Paleo diet for those suffering from histamine issues. There are a couple of sites I used more frequently, but I also did a Google search and read quite widely. It's possible that what you've identified as hay fever in the past might have been an issue of histamine intolerance too. Here are the 2 main sites I followed https://healinghistamine.com/ and http://alisonvickery.com.au/ 

 

You'll find conflicting info on which foods are high histamine; it's also individual. 

 

Over time, I added 3 supplements that were very helpful. Vitamin C, quercetin, and tart cherry. You may be too early in the process to do it, or may not want to. But each of them helped reduce the symptoms and allowed me to expand my diet a little more.

 

I feel it's wise to limit antihistamine drugs. I learned they further deplete the enzyme that helps digest histamine in foods. I always got a big upsurge in symptoms the day after, so avoid them completely. I would take an extra vitamin c if I was having allergy symptoms.

 

I think relaxation practices can make a big difference to helping with symptoms and settling the immune system. Yoga, meditation, tai chi or qi gong, gentle exercise, etc. I credit those practices as a major part of my recovery.

 

Hope this is helpful. Wishing you well with your healing.

 

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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Hi Freespirit, How are you doing these days? I hope you are doing better than ever. I actually want a little advice from you about drinking tea. Have you started drinking tea or coffee yet or no? And what kind of effect it can have on body in general in terms of withdrawl symptoms? I actually got a flu from my daughter in the last week and I avoided pharmaceutical drugs like a plague, so Therefore I was using a lot of home remedies such as honey, ginger but I was thinking if I could add up some hot tea as well to add up the recovery process. So what would you suggest that it is too early to drink tea in the withdrawl or I should add it . Please suggest. Thank you for taking your time out to read this and I hope you continue to  feel better.

remeron for four and half months. 15 mg for 3 months and 4 days and 7.5 mg for 27 days. After a month later of experiencing withdrawal  , restarted taking remeron again at 15 my for 2 days, 7.5 mg for 1 day and 6 mg for 7 days.

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Hi Kara,  I'm doing pretty well these days. Over the past couple of months, things have really improved regarding histamine. I've been drinking decaf coffee all along. I stopped it briefly, but it made no difference to any symptoms. I think because I was eating such a strict diet, I could get away with it. Only recently have I had black tea and I tend to stick to decaf with that as well...and it's a rarity to drink it, not a regular thing. But there have been no negative consequences when I've had it, even with caffeine. It's impossible to know how any individual will react to coffee or tea. But I know for myself, if I'm sick or there's something else going on, it's generally not a good time to try something new. Caffeine can rev up the nervous system and cause any number of problems--increase sweating, anxiety, insomnia, etc. If you do decide to try it, I'd do it early in the day and only have a tiny amount. But I can't really advise one way or another on it. I couldn't even drink herbal tea at the beginning, but now seem to have no problem with it.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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Freespirit,

 

Just wanted to thank you for assisting me with this issue, much appreciated.  I've already noticed some improvements with histamine even after a week of reducing and eliminating the biggest culprits.  I've upped the C and I've picked up some Quercetin and tart cherry as well but haven't started them yet.  I will let you know how those work out.

 

And yes, I've always included and prioritized a variety of mindfulness practices.

 

Take care

 

BB

<p>Dec 2012 - Some benzo's, some AD's for PTSD induced anxiety and insomnia

August 2013 - things go south with benzo (Klonipin), tolerance withdrawal, REALLY SICK, AD's (effexor/citalopram) added for "reset"!?!?, EVEN SICKER

Dec 2013 - RESEARCH begins…located Ashton manual (first breakthrough), my A-HA moment = benzo + too fast WD of other meds caused this mess...

Jan 2014 - convinced to take Mirtazapine 15-30 mg to help with Klonipin/ temazepam/ Citalopram taper, hit with wd symptoms but powered through

Feb 2014- stopped Klonopinipin (too quick taper but was destroying CNS) -, more wd symptoms but masked by Mirtazapine

March 2014 - silly ct attempt of 30mg Mirt , HORRIBLE hwd, no sleep, lasted 1 month, found this site (second breakthrough), armed with new knowledge, began proper slow taper of Mirtazapine and doing exponentially better, roughly 10% of each dose, and some long holds!

April 2014 - reinstate 7.5 mg Mirt, (30 day hold then slow taper for rest of year, took months to stabilize)

Jan 2015 - 3 mg (slow taper for rest of year)

Jan 2016 - 1.87 mg (slow taper for rest of year)

Jan 2017 - 0.37 mg (slow taper continues)

Aug 27, 2017 - 0 mg (JUMPED from 0.12 mg) - DRUG FREE!

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Hey BB. That's great news! Do let me know how things go with the supplements. Given that you did such a careful taper, the histamine issues might be short-lived for you. Hope you continue to see improvement. Great that you've included mindfulness as part of your self-care. Wish you well on this next phase of your journey. Keep us updated on your progress.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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  • 3 months later...

Thought I would post an update. For the most part, I'm continuing to do quite well. I'm sleeping 7 1/2 to 8 hours a night. That's often straight through. Once in awhile, I'll wake at 4 or 5, but can generally go back to sleep. My energy is better than it often is at this time of year. This is the first winter since I started tapering that I haven't suffered from chills, exhaustion, and low mood.

 

I did go through an increase in pain in December. And somehow, I've managed to injure my leg. It came on similarly to the shoulder problem I developed about a year and a half ago. I was stiff and a little sore, then went on to being suddenly in a lot more pain with this. I've been carefully using both CBD and very small amounts of THC (microdosing) to help manage the pain. The only down side is sometimes being more sleepy during the day. There have been otherwise no negative impacts to doing this.

 

I don't know if the injuries have been WD related or not. At my age and given the MVA I had, as well as the amount of sports I've played in my life, these repetitive strain injuries aren't uncommon. It's been a bit frustrating, but it means I just have to keep adapting and finding safe ways to keep up some activity.

 

In general, my mood is pretty good a lot of the time. What happens now feels more like the normal ups and downs of life, and not the effects of WD. Mindfulness and heart meditation practices have made a huge impact on my ability to be with the changes. I don't get caught up in the ways that I used to. This was the first holiday season since my wife died that went reasonably well. I had my usual dread  of Christmas, but didn't suffer the usual angst. A good sign I think.

 

My job ended, which was both sad and a relief. I'm starting a new job this week, but only 1 day/week. It's not my dream job, but something to bring in a bit of money, and get me out of the house and in contact with people at bit more. I'm still planning to do mindfulness teacher training, but that's doesn't start for about a year.

 

I decided against traveling to do the meditation retreat over the holidays. That was partly due to financial reasons and also, concerns about the impact of traveling that far. As  it turned out, the injury would have kept me from going anyway. It was disappointing, but maybe I'll be able to do a retreat sometime this year.

 

I'm still meditating daily, but not the hours and hours I was doing at one point. I don't seem to need as much as I was. But it will remain a central part of my life. I'm certain WD would have been much more difficult if I hadn't had the foundation of 20 years of mindfulness. Qi gong hasn't been such an important thing in recent months. I think it gave me a lot of benefits when I needed it, but maybe need to move on to something else.

 

Because of my injury, I've been unable to exercise as much as I'd like to. I'm limited to walking every other day, and only an easy walk on flat territory. No bike rides for the time being. I'm missing it for sure and look forward to being healed enough to get back to daily, more vigorous activity.

 

All in all, things are going along.

 

 

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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  • 1 month later...

This is great I have to remember this!

  • Ativan Mid April 1999-to end of May 1999 ( COLD TURKEY and flushed them down the toilet) I went through hell for 3 months-I had no idea what was happening to me there was no information on the internet about this drug)
  • Zoloft 200mg 1999 to 2017
  • Wellbutrin 2015 6 months Started having exterme anxiety-quit taking switched back to Zoloft ( I have quit about 6 jobs from this time0  Klonopin .5-1.0 of and on for two months (tapered off in Dec-Jan)
  • 15 mg Remeron 2012-presnt
  • **Started tapering down Zoloft 12/?/17 12/09/17 down to 50mg; 12/12/17-12/14-17 Zoloft 100mg; 12/16/201712/19 -Zoloft 150mg; 12/20/17-01/06/18 Zoloft 200mg; 01/07/18-01//18/18 Zoloft 180mg
  • 01/18/18-present Zoloft 200mg
  • February 2018-Copaxone 40mg (3 times a week shots) (for Multiple Sclerosis)2/17/18 begin transition to liquid 200mg
  • magnesium, fish oil

 

 
   

 

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  • Moderator

Hi freespirit:

 

I read on the thyroid site and your signature that you take Synthroid.

 

I just started taking it last night (Saturday). The dr started me on 50mcg. At 3:30 am, I woke up hot, sweaty and jittery. Since I've been up the symptoms have gone away.

 

I just wondered if you ever had any of those symptoms? And if so did they go away or should I call my dr tomorrow (Monday)?

 

I really appreciate you helping me. This is all new to me.

 

I hope you are doing well.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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On 3/10/2015 at 9:10 AM, freespirit said:

I've been reading on here for awhile, but hadn't felt able to post. I've appreciated what I've read and found it helpful for the WD process.

 

I took about a year and a half to come off mirt...which was probably too fast, as I can see in hindsight. I'd been on it almost 10 years by the time I finally stopped taking it.

 

The most helpful things have been: daily qi gong practice (moving and some sitting meditation practice), exercise, eating a healthy diet, being in nature, listening to music, playing Wii, guided imagery, hypnosis, and precious few supplements.

 

I started the process of reducing just a year and a half after my wife died. Some people would think this an insane time to do this, but I literally felt the AD was killing me. But it has made things confusing, where I'm often unable to tell if the emotions I'm experiencing are grief or AD withdrawal.

 

After 10 years of being on this drug, I literally felt it was killing me. I'd gained 70 pounds and developed diabetes, asthma, acid reflux, sleep apnea, and fibromyalgia. Since coming off Remeron, I've also been able to stop taking meds for pain, reflux, asthma, diabetes. I went from 7 meds down to 1 (low thyroid med).

 

After stopping mirt, I developed histamine intolerance. Since then, I've radically changed my diet and have had to stop a number of the supplements I was taking. I can no longer tolerate krill oil or magnesium...and have had to turn more attention towards managing the HI.

 

I now tell friends that no amount of money in the world would ever make me go back on AD again. I can see now how clouded my mind was by taking them, and how much they increased suicidal thoughts..as well as making me numb to so much of life. While withdrawal has been horrible, at least I feel that I'm moving towards being alive again.

 

At the moment, I seem to be in another wave..although it coincided with the anniversary of my wife's death and birthday...but stress and strong emotions do seem to influence and increase WD symptoms. I'd like to say I'm getting better at riding the waves..but the truth is, I'm getting damn sick of them!

Hello, I see that you were on Mirt for 10 years.  I would like to come off it.  Can you give me some tips?

  • Ativan Mid April 1999-to end of May 1999 ( COLD TURKEY and flushed them down the toilet) I went through hell for 3 months-I had no idea what was happening to me there was no information on the internet about this drug)
  • Zoloft 200mg 1999 to 2017
  • Wellbutrin 2015 6 months Started having exterme anxiety-quit taking switched back to Zoloft ( I have quit about 6 jobs from this time0  Klonopin .5-1.0 of and on for two months (tapered off in Dec-Jan)
  • 15 mg Remeron 2012-presnt
  • **Started tapering down Zoloft 12/?/17 12/09/17 down to 50mg; 12/12/17-12/14-17 Zoloft 100mg; 12/16/201712/19 -Zoloft 150mg; 12/20/17-01/06/18 Zoloft 200mg; 01/07/18-01//18/18 Zoloft 180mg
  • 01/18/18-present Zoloft 200mg
  • February 2018-Copaxone 40mg (3 times a week shots) (for Multiple Sclerosis)2/17/18 begin transition to liquid 200mg
  • magnesium, fish oil

 

 
   

 

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18 hours ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

Hello, I see that you were on Mirt for 10 years.  I would like to come off it.  Can you give me some tips?

I think the most important thing to consider before tapering is what you have as coping skills. Do you have any regular practices of yoga, meditation, exercise, etc--- ways of self-soothing and dealing with difficult emotions or thoughts? If not, I'd suggest taking time first to develop some. Without that, it's difficult to taper and also, to live a life without medications. One of the main things that kept me going through difficulties was reminding myself  of the motivations I had for getting off. My  intentions were strong and I never once considered a life of going back on the drugs. To me, that was no longer an option. There was only one direction to go and that meant finding more and more ways to support myself.

 

Don't follow my example of tapering. I arrived at the site a few months after I'd jumped off. I thought I was going slow and compared to CT  or some rapid tapers, it was probably a little better....but not great. I think there's a need to both listen to advice from mods, as well as trusting in your own body. But be aware that when you are stressed, the brain doesn't lean towards good decision-making. In fight/flight/freeze mode, you're operating on the most primitive part of the brain. It will lead you towards brash and unwise choices. That's when you see people on here make drastic cuts, or go back on a full dose suddenly, or take a bunch of supplements at once.

 

I wish you well, whatever decision you make.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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Really great advice, Freespirit!

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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Thanks Leahy. Good to see you. Hope you are well.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

Link to comment
On 2/21/2018 at 1:24 PM, freespirit said:

 But be aware that when you are stressed, the brain doesn't lean towards good decision-making. In fight/flight/freeze mode, you're operating on the most primitive part of the brain. It will lead you towards brash and unwise choices. That's when you see people on here make drastic cuts, or go back on a full dose suddenly, or take a bunch of supplements at once.
 

This is such a wise and solid piece of advice.   When I am stressed and panicked, I want to make sudden moves.  I will remember this. 

 

HIbari

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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It's a normal response to the panic Hibari, to want to do something to get rid of the suffering. The brain sees the current situation as a threat and tries to find a way to eliminate it. If you've read enough threads on here, you'll see that it often sends people into even worse suffering. I've done it myself, by trying new supplements at that time, or monkeying with the ones I'm currently on. I've gone for treatments, which sometimes made it worse. It feels impossible just to stay steady in the angst, but sometimes, that's just the only thing we can do.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

Link to comment
  • Mentor
On 2/22/2018 at 10:23 PM, Hibari said:

This is such a wise and solid piece of advice.   When I am stressed and panicked, I want to make sudden moves.  I will remember this. 

 

HIbari

 

It is great advice, isn't it Hibari?  and I wish I'd seen it oh, over a year ago! LOL not sure it would have sunk in at the time though...

I made some really rash decisions that I regretted.

 

Now, I'm more likely to freeze and be extremely reluctant to make any decision. Finding balance isn't easy.

but I'm doing it, one day at a time....

 

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • 4 weeks later...

H2H, That's all we can do really is 1 day at a time, or 1 moment at a time. We live in a culture that's instant everything and filled with distraction. It's not easy to just hold at anything. Maybe the freeze is really a pause and it isn't yet time to act? I'll sometimes judge myself for not taking action and later, see it was something I wasn't ready for or it wasn't the right thing.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

Link to comment

It turns out my injury is most likely torn cartilage in the hip. I'm working with a physiotherapist and have seen some improvement in pain. But mobility hasn't changed much in the 3 months since this happened. It was probably a combination of things that brought it on--muscle imbalance, overwork of some muscles through cycling, an excessive amount of sitting because of work. I don't have any way of knowing if WD had any influence or not.

 

I was handling things reasonably well for a period of time, but the past while it's been getting to me more in the emotional realm. My job ended, which has been difficult in some respects and I'm not sure what will come next. Problems with new neighbors next door. Not being able to exercise or even go places in the car as much as I'd like to. And dealing with pain from yet another source. It's especially disheartening since I was doing so well with the CBD and other chronic pain.

 

I don't know whether to consider this a wave--because all of the emotional reactions and obsessive thinking is not new since AD or since WD. I've gone back to eating much more carefully in terms of histamine. I'm also meditating longer periods again and finding qi gong is sometimes the best choice for the incessant thinking.

 

I'm waiting to see a specialist in a couple of weeks. So yes, there's been the very unfortunate experiences of dealing with the medical system. I'm easily triggered, not just because of AD and WD, but by my own experiences with the system after an MVA, and also, during my wife's illness. I have little patience and very low tolerance for dealing with the shoddy treatment that passes for a profession. But the things I've tried to date--massage, chiropractor, acupuncture, qi gong,  and physiotherapy have made little difference. The pain is mostly less than it was, but mobility has not improved. It's really important to me to be able to get back to cycling and exercise in general for both physical and mental health. So I'm trying to find my way through a really insane system. I feel hopeful about the specialist, as I know people who've seen him and he has a good reputation for both being caring and for seeing patients as whole people. Plus, he works on the conservative end first....before considering more invasive treatments.

 

The injury is sometimes affecting both length and quality of my sleep. And lack of sleep, as everyone on here knows, affects everything else. I'm having to take naps more often and just accept that for the time being. For some reason, my hip doesn't hurt as much during the day, so sleep is often better then. But it is too reminiscent of how I felt during the more acute part of WD. I'm trying to work at getting some things cleaned up in the house and garden, but am restricted both by lack of energy and the injury. Every spring, I hope this is the year I'll be able to finally move from this house. But I'll have to wait and see how things unfold regarding my hip. At the moment, it probably wouldn't be physically possible to do everything necessary to be able to move.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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Hi freespirit,

I'm sorry to read of your hip problem,it's always something isn't it?

you've been doing so well,I hope you can resolve this soon...that specialist sounds promising,hope that works out.

 

I miss your support and wisdom on here but glad you are moving on with your life.

I still struggle a lot and am so tired of dealing with this but trying to remain optimistic....what choice do we have?

 

hoping you have aquick recovery and things continue to get better for you.

love,ds

went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct  back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs.

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Hi DS.

Sorry you are still struggling. I know this goes on much longer than any of us would wish for. It's not easy to be positive, in the face of so much difficulty. But you're right, it's all that we have really. Keep on trudging. Some moments are easier than others in being able to muster the mindfulness and compassion that are necessary.

 

Thanks for your good wishes. I appreciate them.

 

When you said "it's always something", I was reminded of Saturday night live from many years ago. Did you ever watch when Gilda Radner was on and did her "Roseanne Roseannadanna?" She said that "it's always something" as part of her humor. Anyway, I had a chuckle remembering how much I enjoyed watching her and Jane Curtain do the news on SLN.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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loved Gilda Radner...in fact she wrote a memoir that came out right after her death which I read called" It's always something"....a great book.

a great talent that died way too young.

 

xx

went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct  back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I agree DS. Gilda was a real gem and it's tough losing people like this.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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  • 3 months later...

I don't know that anyone is reading this thread, but thought I would post something. I keep hoping to be writing a success story, as it will be 4 years next month since I jumped off.

 

I've had x-rays and an MRI of my hip. While there's a small amount of arthritis, the specialist doesn't think that's the cause of pain and lack of mobility. Acupuncture with a new practitioner has helped with the pain and I'm back to sleeping 8 hours a night, usually uninterrupted. Unfortunately, there's little change in range of motion. I'll see the specialist again in a few weeks and will consider repeating the MRI, this time with dye. That's apparently the only way to know for sure about tears in the cartilage. But even if that's what's causing it, my only option in western medicine is surgery. The results aren't all that promising and it may mean an end to cycling. This is the 4th "injury" I've had since I started tapering. Each has come on suddenly and produced a similar kind of intense tearing pain. I'm wondering these days if in fact, it is somehow WD related. The specialist was considering a referral to a rheumatologist, thinking I might have some sort of inflammatory arthritis. I didn't say no, but also expressed no enthusiasm. I think what would be the point. Someone guessing at things and then offering drugs. I think not.

 

I've gone through a number of rounds of a lot of emotion and I can't say for sure if it's normal response to this and a couple of other current stresses, or if it is WD related. One of the strongest themes continues to be loneliness and sometimes, an overall sense of alienation. Those were both very present during a lot of WD, but also, there is still grief over the loss of my wife, family, and several friendships. Both grief and WD can be very lonely and isolating experiences.

 

On the plus side, no matter what, I continue with a daily meditation practice and occasional qi gong. I've taken up swimming to replace cycling. It's not nearly as fun for me, but it's a way to keep up fitness and get some endorphins going. Overall, I am so much better at taking care of myself then I ever was before. When I get stressed or distressed, I have good ways to soothe and comfort myself. And mostly, they are things I can do for myself. At the moment, I'm not seeing any other practitioners except the acupuncturist. Sometimes, less is more. I don't have the kind of extreme reactions to things as I once did, but my nervous system has always been sensitive and will still over-respond at times. I've gotten much better at accepting that and knowing when to say enough is enough. There are places where the best thing is keeping things simple.

 

I don't think about WD much anymore and I think that is also a sign of healing. I don't look for something or someone to blame for how I'm feeling. Instead, I'm more likely to go straight to what I need to find my through. I've found a lot of the changes in healing to be subtle and take place over a long period of time. It's often in hindsight that I can see how and where I've changed or healed. A lot of the symptoms I had are gone and have not returned. I'm not really sure then, what it would take for me to say I've fully healed and consider myself a success story.

 

Maybe it's that things in my outer life are not what I wish they were, that prevents me writing the success story. I'm not currently working and very much miss both contributing and the company of like-minded colleagues. I'd still like to move from here and have so far, been unsuccessful in finding a good alternative. Because of my hip, it's also been questionable whether I could physically do what's needed in order to make a big move. But I continue to follow leads and explore. At some point, I'll sort out where I'm meant to be and be able to take the steps to get there.

 

This WD journey and life in general is not an easy road for anyone, some of us more so than others. But the older I get, the more I see that it's the journey and not the destination that's most important. I still feel that what I've been through will help me in the rest of my life and may help in my work with others. I've been seriously humbled by the magnitude of both loss and WD. I'm not the person I used to be and while some parts of myself I miss, others I'm much better off without.

I don't have a glowing jump up and down story to tell, but it's still a story of progress and change. People tell me my wife would be proud of the person I've become and I like to think so too.

 

Hang in there fellow travelers.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

Link to comment

This WD journey and life in general is not an easy road for anyone, some of us more so than others. But the older I get, the more I see that it's the journey and not the destination that's most important. I still feel that what I've been through will help me in the rest of my life and may help in my work with others. I've been seriously humbled by the magnitude of both loss and WD. I'm not the person I used to be and while some parts of myself I miss, others I'm much better off without.

I don't have a glowing jump up and down story to tell, but it's still a story of progress and change. People tell me my wife would be proud of the person I've become and I like to think so too.

 

Hang in there fellow travelers.

 

Thanks for sharing where you are at Free.  I especially relate to what you wrote above.  I too am not the person I was before wd and like you, sometimes mourn aspects I wish were still there but overall am much more of who I am meant to be at this point in my life.  

Hibari

 

 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • Mentor
On 7/13/2018 at 4:51 PM, freespirit said:

Maybe it's that things in my outer life are not what I wish they were, that prevents me writing the success story. I'm not currently working and very much miss both contributing and the company of like-minded colleagues. I'd still like to move from here and have so far, been unsuccessful in finding a good alternative.

Relate to that so much, @freespirit. I too am not working and am isolated with a lack of colleagues and also I want to move but it would be big and I know that my resiliency at present is not ready for such a challenge. So I stay here, treading water. Did see an inspirational bumper sticker the other day:

 

She turned her can'ts into cans and her dreams into plans.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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5 hours ago, Hibari said:

Thanks for sharing where you are at Free.  I especially relate to what you wrote above.  I too am not the person I was before wd and like you, sometimes mourn aspects I wish were still there but overall am much more of who I am meant to be at this point in my life.  

Hibari

 

 

 

I appreciate your affirmation H. I'm glad you're feeling more yourself now. It's an arduous path to get there, isn't it? I sometimes wonder if certain aspects might return at some point, when life settles some. Not sure how I feel about those parts being gone for good. Thanks for stopping by.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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3 hours ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

Relate to that so much, @freespirit. I too am not working and am isolated with a lack of colleagues and also I want to move but it would be big and I know that my resiliency at present is not ready for such a challenge. So I stay here, treading water. Did see an inspirational bumper sticker the other day:

 

She turned her can'ts into cans and her dreams into plans.

😃for the bumper sticker. That really spoke to me, as I've noticed how much the word "can't" is showing up in my vocabulary these days. I'm sorry you're feeling so isolated too. Being unwell can be very lonely at times. It sounds wise for you to wait on moving. Stress can place such an additional burden in WD. Moving can be a real stressor at the best of times. Seems there are many of us treading water.

 

For me, it's been 6 1/2 years of isolation--with grief and then WD. Sometimes, it's hard for me to imagine it being any different. Things were better in some respects while I was working. Right now, being at home so much and being unable to do some of the activities I love has left me feeling much like I did early in WD. I'm living in a reality so different from anyone in my personal life. Acceptance is key, but not easy to do.

 

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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  • Mentor
14 hours ago, freespirit said:

Things were better in some respects while I was working. Right now, being at home so much and being unable to do some of the activities I love has left me feeling much like I did early in WD. I'm living in a reality so different from anyone in my personal life. Acceptance is key, but not easy to do.

Yes, me too. I was already letting my freelance work skills slide -- my fault -- and then WD was/has been much longer than ever expected. I think getting out working would be healthy for my mind but I am reluctant to go for a "lesser" job but also feel like I don't have the energy to go back to school -- plus I am 51. So my ego is getting in the way of me right now at least taking a step to stability. I see that but haven't been able to change my mind on it.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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9 hours ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

Yes, me too. I was already letting my freelance work skills slide -- my fault -- and then WD was/has been much longer than ever expected. I think getting out working would be healthy for my mind but I am reluctant to go for a "lesser" job but also feel like I don't have the energy to go back to school -- plus I am 51. So my ego is getting in the way of me right now at least taking a step to stability. I see that but haven't been able to change my mind on it.

 

Maybe the time isn't right yet? I've noticed that many periods where I feel resistant to some kind of change, in hindsight I'll see I was trying to push something that wasn't quite ready. You're younger than me. I feel such a sense of urgency about life. But when dealing with a lot of sensitivity and vulnerability, it doesn't work to force things. I think rebuilding a new life is very daunting. Lots of trying something and having to eliminate or alter it. I'm 63 and looking at a new career when most people have their eye on retirement. You still have time to go back to school. It takes longer than we want it to, but energy does return. 

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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1 hour ago, freespirit said:

Maybe the time isn't right yet? I've noticed that many periods where I feel resistant to some kind of change, in hindsight I'll see I was trying to push something that wasn't quite ready.

Maybe, maybe... I am resistant at present, for sure.

 

1 hour ago, freespirit said:

I think rebuilding a new life is very daunting. Lots of trying something and having to eliminate or alter it. I'm 63 and looking at a new career when most people have their eye on retirement. You still have time to go back to school. It takes longer than we want it to, but energy does return. 

See? I think that is so great that you are looking at a new career... and inspiring at 63. My bf is 59 and started a new career at 57. It can be done. Thanks for the encouragement about school. I appreciate it deeply.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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Thanks FGW. I won't be finished the training until I'm 66 and need to find something else to do in the meantime. Lots of things I've done, but not much I'd want to go back to. So perhaps reinventing myself again for this period of time too. It keeps life interesting, but not very easy at times. Sometimes, I wish I could have been the kind of person who was able to stay long-term at something...but that's never been my path.

 

Try not to let the lack of energy convince you that you won't be able to do things in future. I know how the emotional and physical states can feel quite permanent in WD, but they aren't. It can be very long and slow process, and that alone can wear us down. But that wearing down, at least in my experience, also wears down some old and no longer useful parts of oneself. I have a piece of abalone shell that I found in Big Sur, CA over 20 years ago. It's been worn so smooth by the pounding waves and it's shaped like a heart. I believe the same thing can happen for us, through the forces of WD and other major losses and life events. Take care.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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13 hours ago, freespirit said:

I have a piece of abalone shell that I found in Big Sur, CA over 20 years ago. It's been worn so smooth by the pounding waves and it's shaped like a heart. I believe the same thing can happen for us, through the forces of WD and other major losses and life events. Take care.

Hi freespirit,

I thought this was so beautiful,thank you

 

sorry about your hip...getting older really sucks but as they say better than the alternative,right?...we're the same age and lately I've been feeling really old...like where did my life go...I guess WD is playing a big factor,

 

anyway,wishing you well in pursuing a new career,good for you!

 

keep us posted on your journey,always glad to see you here.

love,ds 

xx

went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct  back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs.

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  • Mentor
17 hours ago, freespirit said:

So perhaps reinventing myself again for this period of time too. It keeps life interesting, but not very easy at times. Sometimes, I wish I could have been the kind of person who was able to stay long-term at something...but that's never been my path.

I hear you! I wish I was that person who had a single career but no. Your trying something new is inspiring to me.

 

17 hours ago, freespirit said:

Try not to let the lack of energy convince you that you won't be able to do things in future. I know how the emotional and physical states can feel quite permanent in WD, but they aren't. It can be very long and slow process, and that alone can wear us down. But that wearing down, at least in my experience, also wears down some old and no longer useful parts of oneself. I have a piece of abalone shell that I found in Big Sur, CA over 20 years ago. It's been worn so smooth by the pounding waves and it's shaped like a heart. I believe the same thing can happen for us, through the forces of WD and other major losses and life events.

I love the shell symbol (or metaphor or whatever). I have to believe that. Thanks.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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12 hours ago, direstraits said:

.we're the same age and lately I've been feeling really old...like where did my life go...I guess WD is playing a big factor,

 

 

I think it's aging, loss, WD, and a whole host of things. I wonder where my life went too. But even more so, there's such a sense of urgency about whatever time is left. I feel like I can't keep waiting on what really matters and maybe now, am more willing to let go of what isn't working. And willing to sacrifice some things, in order to get closer to the life I am meant to be living.

 

I see the specialist again in about 10 days regarding my hip. Not expecting any great answers and not sure how I'll decide on possible courses of action. Will have to wait and see I guess.

 

Thanks for stopping by DS. Hope you're managing okay.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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