☼ Molder: Symptoms at 3 months off Wellbutrin

[Molder]

This is my first time posting on here. It has been three months since I tapered off of Wellbutrin. I have been on antidepressants for ten years and I attempted to get off of them twice. The withdrawal the first time was not as bad as it has been this time. I wake up in terror, panic, and dreadful overwhelming fear. I have had suicidal thoughts for several months now. I have so much anger inside that it scares me. I have graphic visions of hurting myself or others. I would not act on these disturbing thoughts but Every minute of every day seems difficult to deal with. When I stopped the first time my health went into absolute chaos. I got the shingles. This time stopping my body has these awful muscle spasms I try to get intimate with my girlfriend and it hurts me afterwards. I'm pretty much going through hell and taking everyone in my life there too. I guess I'm just hoping that someone out there can give me advice or asure me that I'm not going crazy.

[ten0275]

Molder, hello.

 

I want to take a moment to welcome you to the site. I'm glad you found us. The disturbing symptoms you describe sound withdrawal-related.

 

Another community member alerted me to your post, now several days old. I am sorry we weren't able to officially welcome you sooner. I've moved your post here, to Introductions and Updates. Please use this thread as your place to ask questions, post updates, and journal your progress.

 

I'd like to request that you complete your signature at the bottom of your thread. Detailing your signature with your drug history, any supplement use, etc. helps establish a timeline that puts us in a better position to lend you support. Here is how to get that signature fillled out.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

The graphic visions of hurting self or others was one of the most potent and terrifying aspects of my withdrawal. I felt impulses to do things that were completely against my character and these terrorized me for some time. But... as I healed, they went away. They were a symptom that came and went. But I really needed to hang in there to see them go.

 

If you could provide some more information, that would be good.

 

Not sure if you saw our general post on withdrawal syndrome, but this is a good overview of what you may be experiencing.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-antidepressant-withdrawal-syndrome/

 

I am happy to hear you didn't cold turkey from Wellbutrin, but could you expand on how slowly (or not) you proceeded with the taper?

 

Welcome to the board, others will most certainly be along to say hi as well. And hope to hear more of your journey and concerns.

 

Hang in there.

 

Dave

 

P.S. If you don't like the title of your thread as I modified it for you, please let me know and I will further modify.

[Fresh]

Hi Molder , welcome to the site.   

You'll find lots of support , information and advice here from people who understand what you're going through , because we've all been through it too.

 

Best wishes ,  Fresh

 

p.s. you're not going crazy , promise

[Martina23]

Hello, I have the same symptoms like you (graphic vision to hurt yourself and others). I am sorry you have these. But in some way I felt so good that someone other also have such. That I am not alone. I hope that you are ok and that you feel already better.

[JanCarol]

Hey Molder, I know Ten said you haven't Cold Turkey'd, but I read your post 3 times, and can't see anywhere where you came off gradually.

 

I saw 2 attempts to get off - and the last one, 3 months ago, you said "taper," but we are used to hearing Doctors say "taper," and what they do is too fast for your nervous system to adjust.

 

When you do you signature, please let us know how you came down - was it over weeks or months?  Or even days?  Some people come here and say they've tapered, and what they mean is they cut it in half one day, and then a week later went off it entirely.  Thees are scary tapers, and many people in here have done them.

 

Your symptoms sound - sadly - typical.  What is antidepressant withdrawal syndrome?

 

And, you seem most concerned about this one:  Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction PSSD

 

You may be helped by Omega-3 fish oil and Magnesium, as they help your brain to rebalance and regenerate.

 

I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time.  Hopefully, your time here in SA will help you find the solutions to help.

[Molder]

Molder, hello.

 

I want to take a moment to welcome you to the site. I'm glad you found us. The disturbing symptoms you describe sound withdrawal-related.

 

Another community member alerted me to your post, now several days old. I am sorry we weren't able to officially welcome you sooner. I've moved your post here, to Introductions and Updates. Please use this thread as your place to ask questions, post updates, and journal your progress.

 

I'd like to request that you complete your signature at the bottom of your thread. Detailing your signature with your drug history, any supplement use, etc. helps establish a timeline that puts us in a better position to lend you support. Here is how to get that signature fillled out.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

The graphic visions of hurting self or others was one of the most potent and terrifying aspects of my withdrawal. I felt impulses to do things that were completely against my character and these terrorized me for some time. But... as I healed, they went away. They were a symptom that came and went. But I really needed to hang in there to see them go.

 

If you could provide some more information, that would be good.

 

Not sure if you saw our general post on withdrawal syndrome, but this is a good overview of what you may be experiencing.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-antidepressant-withdrawal-syndrome/

 

I am happy to hear you didn't cold turkey from Wellbutrin, but could you expand on how slowly (or not) you proceeded with the taper?

 

Welcome to the board, others will most certainly be along to say hi as well. And hope to hear more of your journey and concerns.

 

Hang in there.

 

Dave

 

P.S. If you don't like the title of your thread as I modified it for you, please let me know and I will further modify.

Hi Dave,

 

Thank you for the message. I did stop taking Wellbutrin in 2013 cold turkey after being on it for a month or so. I got back on it in 2014 a year later and I have been a wreck ever since. I am not sure if I had a reaction to it or am just experiencing withdrawal. I actually switched meds multiple times as you can see in my signature because they did not seem to be very effective once aia reinstated after stopping the Wellbutrin in 2013.

[Molder]

Hey Molder, I know Ten said you haven't Cold Turkey'd, but I read your post 3 times, and can't see anywhere where you came off gradually.

 

I saw 2 attempts to get off - and the last one, 3 months ago, you said "taper," but we are used to hearing Doctors say "taper," and what they do is too fast for your nervous system to adjust.

 

When you do you signature, please let us know how you came down - was it over weeks or months?  Or even days?  Some people come here and say they've tapered, and what they mean is they cut it in half one day, and then a week later went off it entirely.  Thees are scary tapers, and many people in here have done them.

 

Your symptoms sound - sadly - typical.  What is antidepressant withdrawal syndrome?

 

And, you seem most concerned about this one:  Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction PSSD

 

You may be helped by Omega-3 fish oil and Magnesium, as they help your brain to rebalance and regenerate.

 

I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time.  Hopefully, your time here in SA will help you find the solutions to help.

Hi Jan Carol,

 

 

Thanks for your message. I got off of Wellbutrin in 2013. I took it for a month and quit cold turkey. I took it again a year later and it made me insane. So I weaned off it in 6 weeks after being on it for a little over a month. When I went through withdrawal after quitting cold turkey before it was not as bad as it has been this time after weaning off of it. You can take a look at my signature.

[Molder]

 

Hey Molder, I know Ten said you haven't Cold Turkey'd, but I read your post 3 times, and can't see anywhere where you came off gradually.

 

I saw 2 attempts to get off - and the last one, 3 months ago, you said "taper," but we are used to hearing Doctors say "taper," and what they do is too fast for your nervous system to adjust.

 

When you do you signature, please let us know how you came down - was it over weeks or months?  Or even days?  Some people come here and say they've tapered, and what they mean is they cut it in half one day, and then a week later went off it entirely.  Thees are scary tapers, and many people in here have done them.

 

Your symptoms sound - sadly - typical.  What is antidepressant withdrawal syndrome?

 And, you seem most concerned about this one:  Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction PSSD

 You may be helped by Omega-3 fish oil and Magnesium, as they help your brain to rebalance and regenerate.

 

I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time.  Hopefully, your time here in SA will help you find the solutions to help.

Hi Jan Carol,

Thanks for your message. I got off of Wellbutrin in 2013. I took it for a month and quit cold turkey. I took it again a year later and it made me insane. So I weaned off it in 6 weeks after being on it for a little over a month. When I went through withdrawal after quitting cold turkey before it was not as bad as it has been this time after weaning off of it. You can take a look at my signature.

Every time I would switch meds the doctor would have me weaning off of one while starting the other as well. I am not sure if that contributed to the madness or if reinstating and switching so many times over a short period of time had some effect. I cold turkeyed which was a mistake. I reinstated with a different drug which may have been a mistake. I switched 3 times in 11months from Prozac to Lexapro getting off one drug while introducing the new one instead of getting off one waiting and introducing the other which was probably a mistake and I weaned off of the Wellbutrin in 6 weeks which may have been too fast. When I would get off on drug to get on another I would get off it in 2 weeks. Prozac and Lexapro for example.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Molder.

 

This is from your signature:

 

Started on 150 mg while tapering off of Lexapro. Took 150 mg daily for two weeks while reducing the Lexapro. Dose increased to 300 mg after last pill of Lexapro. Took 300 mg Wellbutrin for two weeks before deciding to stop. Weaned off of it in 6 weeks. 300 mg for 2 weeks 150 mg for 2 weeks 75 mg for 2 weeks
Not sure when withdrawal started or from which drug because I was ok on the Lexapro until depression returned and I switched to Wellbutrin which made it worse. I am now almost 4 months without an AD and it is very difficult to function. I have taken muscle relaxers ancient different benzos to deal with withdrawal problems.

 

 

It looks to me that, after going on and off many antidepressants for 10 years, you experienced poop-out while taking Lexapro.

 

How did you go from Lexapro to Wellbutrin?

 

My guess is you developed withdrawal syndrome from Lexapro while you were taking Wellbutrin, and the Wellbutrin either added its own adverse effects or made the withdrawal syndrome worse.

 

How often do you take benzos, and at what dosage?

[Molder]

Topic merged with original intro 

 

I have taken meds for 10 years and tried to get off twice, this being my second attempt. The first time I tried to get off was October last year. I was taking celexa and decided to switch to Wellbutrin because I felt celexa wasn't working as much. So I started taking Wellbutrin and didn't like the side effect so I decided I would just stop taking AD all together. After 3 months off not being on an antidepressant I started to feel depressed again and then I got muscle spasms along with isolating and not wanting to leave the house. At this point I went to the doctor and was put on 20mg of Prozac. That started to work after awhile but after a couple of months it stopped working and then I went antidepressant hopping way to much in a short time. It seemed like nothing was effective. I decided to get on Wellbutrin again after all the others didn't work and WOW!!! This one affected me in such a horrible way that I felt like I was seriously drugged. I took it for about 3 months then tapperd off and haven't been right ever since. I have been off antidepressants for 4 months and em experiencing constant suicidal thoughts, can't relax, can't stop moving at times, won't leave my house, can't work because I can't focus and my legs feel like they weigh a million pounds. I feel loss of breath when I try to speak. I am scared to death that I will never get better and that I'm peranently damaged. I feel anger and rage right when I wake up in the morning to going to bed. I just started to smoke a little bit of pot. It helps me eat and I'm able to laugh sometimes but I don't want to depend on that. I'm usually a very fit person and like a neat and clean living. And now I feel like I don't even care about showering or cleaning. My girlfriend has to make me. I just think to myself that I'm done with life and that I feel like I'm pathetic. Please if there is anyone who can give me hope or guidance. It could save my life. I have been to several doctors and they all say nothing is wrong. Help me please!!!!!!!! I'm so obsessed with what's going on with me I can't focus on anything else. I went to my psychiatrist and he told me to take celexa but I'm scared and don't want things to get worse than they already are.

Edited March 19, 2015 by mammaP

[Addax]

Hi Molder. Welcome to SA.

 

You're somptoms are consistant with someone in withdrawal. Everything you described, the suicidal thoughts, unable to relax and not being able to stop moving (AKA Akathasia), the not wanting to leave the house, exercise, bath, irritability, suicidal ideation, even the obsessive thoughts and fears. All of it. What is also very typical is that these hit you hard at the 4 month mark. The symptoms are so severe because you went off meds so quickly.

 

Most doctors know almost nothing about withdrawal or have a multitude of misconceptions, so that your docs find nothing wrong is not surprising.

 

Here's some info on withdrawal syndrome: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-withdrawal-syndrome/

 

A moderator will come a long shortly and provide you with more direction and guidance, but I will tell you this: What you're going through is not permanent. Reinstatement of a small dose of last medication you were on might be suggested to help alleviate some of your symptoms or bring them to a tolerable level where you can stabilize for awhile, but I'll let the moderators handle that discussion because it can be tricky.

 

You won't always feel how you're feeling. I know you probably feel your stuck with irreversible damage, but you're not. It's withdrawal, and it sucks. I encourage you to heed the guidance offered by the mods and administrators. You should also look around this site at some of the threads under "Symptoms and Self Care" as there are things that people have found to easy their symptoms. For instance I have found Magnisium helpful when I feel anxious.

 

You're going to be okay. It won't happen over night, but it will happen.

[Fresh]

Hi  Molder ,    I'm so pleased for you that you've found you way here.   This place is a goldmine for support , advuce , and information on all things

antidepressant-related.

 

I agree with Addax that what you describe sounds exactly like withdrawal syndrome - a wide range od debilitating and fluctuating symptoms.

At 4 months since you stopped , reinstating is an option to explore.   Try reading "About Reinstating and Stabilizing To Stop Withdrawal Symptoms" , in Symptoms

and Self Care.

 

Intermittent use of benzos can help in the short-term , but addiction may develop quickly and they stop "doing their stuff".   You may find melatonin helpful - 1.5mg can

be quite sedating.

 

None of the symptoms you describe are permanent.   Despair and the inability to see your way past this are phases we've all passed through before beginning to recover.

You're in good company here Molder.

 

Best wishes ,  Fresh

 

p.s.  If you click FOLLOW THIS TOPIC at the top right , you'll receive an email each time someone posts.

[Fresh]

Hey Molder ,  your patience with all the questions is important and appreciated.    Altostrata and the moderators are trying to nut out the best options for

you moving forward from here ,   and your journey so far has been pretty complex.

 

If you click FOLLOW THIS TOPIC at the top right , you'll receive an email each time someone posts.

 

Fresh

[Songbird]

All that switching around has probably caused additional confusion to your brain as well as withdrawal issues.  Why did you switch from Celexa to Welbutrin?  I'm thinking it is possible you may have been in withdrawal from Celexa and the Lexapro may have helped with this as they are almost the same.  It's hard to know what to suggest for you at this point, there are going to be a number of options, each with some potential risks.  I am interested to see what Alto suggests.  But I can definitely assure you that you are not going crazy.  This is all from the meds, it is not you.

[mammaP]

Welcome, Molder.

 

This is from your signature:

It looks to me that, after going on and off many antidepressants for 10 years, you experienced poop-out while taking Lexapro.

 

How did you go from Lexapro to Wellbutrin?

 

My guess is you developed withdrawal syndrome from Lexapro while you were taking Wellbutrin, and the Wellbutrin either added its own adverse effects or made the withdrawal syndrome worse.

 

How often do you take benzos, and at what dosage?

Hi Molder, welcome to SA. I have merged your  topics into your original thread, this is your journal to post in whenever you like and ask questions. This keeps your progress in one place and easy to follow.  If you could answer Alto's questions above she will be able to offer the best advice for you. 

[Molder]

 

Welcome, Molder.

 

This is from your signature:

 

It looks to me that, after going on and off many antidepressants for 10 years, you experienced poop-out while taking Lexapro.

 

How did you go from Lexapro to Wellbutrin?

 

My guess is you developed withdrawal syndrome from Lexapro while you were taking Wellbutrin, and the Wellbutrin either added its own adverse effects or made the withdrawal syndrome worse.

 

How often do you take benzos, and at what dosage?

Hi Molder, welcome to SA. I have merged your  topics into your original thread, this is your journal to post in whenever you like and ask questions. This keeps your progress in one place and easy to follow.  If you could answer Alto's questions above she will be able to offer the best advice for you.

. Alto,

I was only taking 10 mg of Lexapro. I took 10 mg of Lexapro every day while adding 150 mg of Wellbutrin. After 2 weeks I discontinued the Lexapro and added 150 mg of Wellbutrin taking a a total of 300 mg of Wellbutrin. I take small doses of xanax. .5 mg as needed. I need some advice quickly. I am getting very desperate. I have 20 mg celexa and pristq from the doc. Can I reinstate with one of these

[JanCarol]

I think Alto will be along as soon as she can - but my first response is to say  NO! to the celexa and pristiq.  When you go into withdrawal, your body is craving the original drug, and celexa and pristiq are not that drug.  Crossing over to another drug only complicates things, and your brain will bounce around like a basketball at a Harlem Globetrotter's exhibition game.  Not to mention that Pristiq in particular can be a nasty drug to withdraw from, and Celexa has its difficulties too (they all do, and the simpler the solution, the better it is.  Using these drugs will only complicate things)  I'd turn those drugs in to the pharmacy (never flush them down the toilet, as that puts all the fish and frogs and predators that eat them, on these awful drugs! No water treatment system filters out pharmaceuticals, they filter pathogens, but not pharmaceuticals!)

 

Alto believes that Lexapro is the original drug.  Wellbutrin is the most recent drug. 

 

If you reinstate, it should be one of those, and at a very very low dose so that you don't react.  Say 5 mg Lexapro, or 10-25 mg of Wellbutrin. Whatever you decide, you should stick with it, because on again, off again, on again and switching drugs only causes that basketball brain to bounce even more.

 

If Alto says differently, listen to her.  She has far more experience and knowledge than I do.

[Molder]

I think Alto will be along as soon as she can - but my first response is to say  NO! to the celexa and pristiq.  When you go into withdrawal, your body is craving the original drug, and celexa and pristiq are not that drug.  Crossing over to another drug only complicates things, and your brain will bounce around like a basketball at a Harlem Globetrotter's exhibition game.  Not to mention that Pristiq in particular can be a nasty drug to withdraw from, and Celexa has its difficulties too (they all do, and the simpler the solution, the better it is.  Using these drugs will only complicate things)  I'd turn those drugs in to the pharmacy (never flush them down the toilet, as that puts all the fish and frogs and predators that eat them, on these awful drugs! No water treatment system filters out pharmaceuticals, they filter pathogens, but not pharmaceuticals!)

 

Alto believes that Lexapro is the original drug.  Wellbutrin is the most recent drug. 

 

If you reinstate, it should be one of those, and at a very very low dose so that you don't react.  Say 5 mg Lexapro, or 10-25 mg of Wellbutrin. Whatever you decide, you should stick with it, because on again, off again, on again and switching drugs only causes that basketball brain to bounce even more.

 

If Alto says differently, listen to her.  She has far more experience and knowledge than I do.

I hope she responds soon. I am getting desperate.

[Altostrata]

Celexa and Lexapro are closely related. Since you have Celexa on hand, it can be a plausible substitute for Lexapro.

 

If I were you, I might take 5mg Celexa to reinstate. See Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram) for instructions on making a liquid for more precise dosing.

[Molder]

I had a hard period of time when I was younger. From 16 to 22. I used drugs and alcohol to have a good time. When I stopped I got very depressed which is common. The depression would of gone away on its own with time. However I wanted a quick fix to make the depression go away.

 

Without doing any research I made the mistake of going to a psychiatrist. Instead of offering me natural ways to deal with depression the psychiatrist offered me his magic little pill. I tried a few and felt like I was drugged harder than any street drug I ever used. I finally found one that worked I think. I am not sure if the medicine actually ever worked or if the action I took at the time is what helped. I started to eat better work out stayed away from booze and drugs etc...so maybe the action I took is what actually helped while the pill did nothing. Either way I was told to continue to take the drugs for years when they are only supposed to be used short term.

 

Psychiatrists don't know ****. Neither do doctors. That is the bottom line. You go in there they don't really listen and say here try this. Their business is not about helping others it's about keeping you sick by giving you the most addictive drugs on earth to keep you sick and keep you coming back to them for more. I was bouncing around from drug to drug for years and eventually being knumb to the world and hating it because I was made to believe I am sick and had a mental illness. That's bull ****. They are the sick ones. We are the good people.

 

I attempted to get off 2 or 3 times going through hell the last time. I use to read stories about people taking years to get through the withdrawal. I am here to tell you it does not have to take this long so do not let the stories scare you. Reading a lot of the stories actually made me feel hopeless and worse at times. It's all I wanted to do though. I just wanted hope.

 

To end the withdrawal I got back on a medication to take a very small dose initially. Maybe 5 mg or so for maybe like a month. I cut that in half to take another 2.5 mg for Anothe month or so. I also went to see an integrative health doctor who can help combat the destruction the physiatrist and his pills had caused. The supplement she gave me was called Neurolink. After having every withdrawal symptom for months and going though hell on earth, getting back on a very small dose ad, weaning off correctly, and starting on the supplement the withdrawal symptoms disappeared rather quickly.

 

I believe I was in as bad as shape as you could be in but I am here to tell you it will not take as long as you think to go through withdrawal. I know it's hard to believe but true. Hang in there and do not give up. Go see an integrative health Doctor and explain to them what's going on. They won't look at you like you crazy like a psychiatrist or a medical doctor and just give you more drugs. They are in business to combat the destruction the medical field and pharm companies inflict on the world daily.

 

I hope this helps and please respond if you have any questions. Thank you to everyone on here that helped me when I was struggling.

Edited January 30, 2016 by Petunia
Added paragraph breaks for easier reading

[Christian]

Molder thank you for this wonderful post. And congrats to you! Can you please explain for us your timeline. What you were taking? How you quit (taper vs cold turkey)? How long before you reinstated? How long before it worked? What your symptoms were prior and once you stabilized which ones improved? Did you reinstate with the same drug ?

[Fresh]

Hi Molder , welcome back.  Good to hear you're feeling well.

 

I have moved your post from the Success Stories section , so that your update can be read in the context of your 

journey.  This will answer some of Christians' questions.

 

The Success Stories section is for when you're around12 months off all meds and travelling well.  I look forward to seeing your story there one day.

[Petunia]

Welcome back Molder and thank you for updating. It sounds like you're doing really well now. Did you reinstate 5mg of Celexa back in March last year as Alto suggested? How long did you taper for, what dose did you stop from and how long have you been drug free now? Did you have any symptoms after you stopped taking it?

 

Is this the supplement you were taking:   Neurolink  are you still taking it?

 

Please would you update your signature.

[Altostrata]

Very happy to hear you're doing better. Are you about 6 months off all psychiatric drugs now?

 

I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol

☼

to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

[Molder]

Hi there, I am doing really good. I am completely cured from antidepressants and the withdrawals. God cured me. One night I was at the end of my rope crying and in complete torture I just dropped on my knees with my hands in the air reaching to the ceiling and yelled out to God to just give me one more chance and that I would do right in the world. A few days later I woke up and started crying because I could feel that the awful torture was gone. It has never came back. If your going through the torture of these horrible drugs turn to God and he will help. Turn to him for EVERYTHING!!! I will never take any antidepressants or drugs again. TRUST IN GOD!!