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OnaRage - Here's my story. You've probably heard it all before...


OnaRage

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I had taken some antidepressants over the years without much success.  I've always had a stressful job and sincerely cared about doing it correctly despite it being an uphill, thankless battle for years.  I was self-supporting and independent.  I couldn't afford a meltdown.  Hence the attempts at taking antidepressants.  I am also an Alcoholic in recovery who quit smoking so I was no longer self-medicating.  I've been sober for over 10 years and without cigarettes for 3.  Today, I am unemployable and have been fighting for sanity and support since I was fired from my job on 4/1/13.  This was the straw that broke the camel's back.  So I got as many medical records as I could gather and made the following chart.  This was in no way the only antidepressants I've taken but they do represent the only records I could obtain...

 

Med Name Common Name Dose Beginning Date (approx) Ending Date (approx) Days on med Result Citalopram Celexa 20 mg 4/25/2011 9/28/2011              156.00 Didn't help enough.  Moved to new med. Sertraline Zoloft 50 mg 9/29/2011 10/17/2011                18.00 Symptoms getting worse not better Fluoxitine Prozac 20 mg 10/18/2011 11/1/2011                14.00 Symptoms getting worse not better.  Caused aggression. Venlafaxine Effexor 75 mg 11/2/2011 12/2/2011                30.00   Venlafaxine Effexor 150 mg 12/3/2011 6/19/2012              199.00 Wanted increase in dose as really, deeply depressed triggered by PTSD over work issue. Venlafaxine Effexor 75 mg 6/20/2012 7/15/2012                25.00 Was told to do one week at 75 mg  then stop Effexor and move back to Sertraline - This was WAY too fast and caused severe headaches.  It was debilitating. Sertraline Zoloft 25 mg 7/9/2012 7/17/2012                  8.00   Sertraline Zoloft 50 mg 7/18/2012 7/21/2012                  3.00   Sertraline Zoloft 100 mg 7/22/2012 7/25/2012                  3.00   Sertraline Zoloft 150 mg 7/26/2012 11/6/2012              103.00   Sertraline Zoloft 200 mg 11/7/2012 5/13/2013              187.00 This is the max dose.  Was graduated off this med (painfully) by Maja Bjur (an emergency Nurse Pysch Practioner) BusPIRone BUSPAR 30 mg 1/4/2013 5/13/2013              129.00 One 10 mg tab three times/day.  Started getting hot flashes in first week.  Severe lethargy before getting off.  Slept for 3 days when fully off med.  Weird! Lamotrigine Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/2013 5/13/2013                26.00 Guesstimated start date, firm end date.  Had started on lower dose due to risk of serious side effects.  Had NP freak out that I was even taking this.  Dropped all meds after getting yet another diagnosis/med suggestion.  Gave up on treatment until I could clear system of ALL medications. Marijuana Pot         Smoked some over about a week and a half which helped tremendously with withdrawl symptoms from the psych meds which included brain zaps and wild mood swings. But then I ate a cookie laced with budda (?) that put me in the hospital for my very first visit.   Lorazepam Ativan 0.5 mg 4/25/2011     Off and on use for panic attacks. Duloxetine Cymbalta 30 mg 12/27/2013 2/27/2014   After trying Seriphos, magnesium, rhodiola etc, the depression was so bad, I started a new AD after discussing the other option which was to check myself into the psych ward. Duloxetine Cymbalta 60 mg 2/27/2014 6/11/2014   Severe hot flashes and insomnia but lethargic during the day.   Dr Martin thinks it's due to overdose and is moving prescription down. Duloxetine Cymbalta 40 mg 6/11/2014 10/26/2014   First day of decrease and I'm still having insomnia.  My feet are aching.  UGH! Duloxetine Cymbalta 30 mg 10/27/2014     At this point, I'm trying to move completely off of Cymbalta.  It really hasn't helped me improve enough to obtain gainful employment.  It would be hard to work when my memory is shot and I sweat at the slight thought of moving.  I have been very dizzy, constantly tired.  I haven't had the brain zaps but feel like I have the flu.  Today is 11/10/14 - As I write this, I can say that I've been sleeping a ton more.  I haven't been able to accomplish a much in weeks though.    It is now 2:30 in the morning.  I've been up for an hour.  My feet are ******* ACHING!  My brain is fogged.    I just read a site that talked about the withdrawals and people filing class action lawsuits.  I think I'll join them!  And, after a year or more of taking my hormones at this level, all of a sudden I'm having a period.  Why?  Must be the Cymbalta withdrawal.  Ugh!

 

Anyway, suffice to say, I went down to 20 mg of the Cymbalta for several weeks before discontinuing from there.  My doc offered Prozac saying it would help with the withdrawals.  I opted not to take her up on it since I had homicidal thoughts when I took it briefly a few years ago.  

 

So, I've been off the Cymbalta for three weeks now.  I can't sleep.  I have severe diarrhea.  I have wild mood swings and fits of rage.  I can't think straight.  I can't seem to accomplish a damn thing and I'm unemployable but can't get disability.  

 

I'm feeling like throwing in life's towel.

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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Hi OnaRage,

 

Welcome to SA.   That is some medication roller coaster you have been on.  I think you are experiencing a very disturbed nervous system.  Given how often you chopped and changed drugs its quite likely that you had periods where you were experiencing both an adverse reaction to a new medication and withdrawal symptoms from abruptly stopping one or the other of a previous one.   At this point, any depressive symptoms you had could have been medication induced as opposed to being a relapse.  I wouldn't be surprised if your system is highly sensitised to any substances at this point.

 

We recommend a taper of 10% of the previous dose every 4 weeks or so as a general guide.   Some can go faster, many have to go slower.  We taper all the way down.  20mg is a high jumping off point and your system isnt coping.

 

We often suggest people consider reinstating a very small dose like 5 mg or less to see if thats enough to settle the significant withdrawal without triggering an adverse reaction.   It is no guarantee and there are some risks.   I recommend you read the following threads on what is withdrawal, how to taper cymbalta and the thread on reinstatement.

 

What is withdrawal syndrome - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-withdrawal-syndrome/

 

tips for tapering cymbalta - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/283-tips-for-tapering-off-cymbalta-duloxetine/

 

why taper at 10% - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1024-why-taper-by-10-of-my-dosage/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-stop-withdrawal-symptoms/

 

 

Can I also ask that you put a more detailed summary of your drug history (over the past year?) in your signature, that will follow you whenever you post so you dont have to repeat yourself and other people dont have to keep going back to your first post to understand what's happening for you.

 

dalsaan

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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Welcome to the site OnA Rage ,  I'm really happy for you that you found your way here.   You'll get lots of support , information and advice on all things related

to antidepressants.

 

What a journey you've had since 2011.  It's not surprising that things have been so difficult for you , and I'm sorry for that.

   

All the things you are describing sound like withdrawal symptoms from stopping the Cymbalta.    It may be that reinstating a very small dose , between

1 and 5mgs , will help to alleviate the symptoms you're having , and prevent the withdrawal gathering any more momentum.   You could then get

stable , and taper slowly in a safe and sensible way.   The mods would be better able to advise on what dosage might be safest.

 

We've all been through the withdrawal wringer , so you're in very good company here.

 

Welcome aboard ,   Fresh

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Welcome. Glad you made it here. You have been a lot of drugs and now the recovery can begin.

 

Do you have support from friends and family?

2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink.

2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ...

Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.
2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures.

:o 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years.

I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body.

2015: I  began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning.

I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral.

And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. 

I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up.

In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body.   :unsure:

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Welcome. Glad you made it here. You have been a lot of drugs and now the recovery can begin.

 

Do you have support from friends and family?

I have limited support.  My husband has finally learned enough to be helpful and supportive as best as he can be.  My family sucks ass at supporting me and hurt me more than helping me so I can only handle them in my life when I'm healthy enough to let it roll off my back.   Friends were few to begin with because I worked so much but I do have a few that try to help and one, in particular, who has gone through major depression and medication changes so she knows what I'm dealing with.  But I am super sensitive after the work issues and some other experiences from the rooms of AA that were beyond unpleasant.  So I feel pretty alone most of the time.  I have a Naturopath who has done more for me than any of the doctors before her.  She's not covered by insurance so it's painful to go as I'm not working.  It's $75 per visit once every three to six weeks and I'm taking a ton of supplements to try to get me healthy again.  I believe she saved my life last year and has certainly gotten me to a healthier place. But I still can't work and I can't get disability so I feel hopeless and stuck.  I'm tired of being unproductive.

 

I have a new PNP who seems anxious to get me on new meds and is, at least, doing genetic testing to make sure she doesn't put me on something that isn't compatible with my chemistry.  Why can't they all start that way?!  I will be fighting her on taking any new meds until we can get me through the withdrawal process because I don't want to be diagnosed based on withdrawal symptoms from medications that didn't work. And, after what I've been through, I don't want another one of those deadly chemicals anywhere near me if I can help it!  Honestly, I'd rather kill myself than go through this rollercoaster again.

 

I do want to mention that my Naturopath has had me tested for a mutation of the MTHFR gene and found that I am positive for it.  If you know anything about this, it at least gives us some idea of what might be physically causing some of my symptoms and we can treat it from a biological perspective rather than playing a roulette guessing game with the dangerous psych drugs.

 

We also found that I am sensitive to wheat, dairy and eggs and so we've been working to eliminate those from my diet which, for me, has been very difficult because I'm a finicky eater and those ingredients were in everything I ate.  She has asked that, if I cheat, I stay away from the wheat because it has a tendency to cause more depression.  I've been disregarding that suggestion this past week and have been "self medicating" with these foods because I'm struggling so much with the Cymbalta withdrawals.

 

Sometimes I just don't know what came first, the depression and anxiety, the stress in the job, the premature menopause, the food sensitivities, or something else.  I don't know how I got here.  I don't know how to get out.  I don't trust any doctors anymore except my Naturopath... 

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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Welcome to the site OnA Rage ,  I'm really happy for you that you found your way here.   You'll get lots of support , information and advice on all things related

to antidepressants.

 

What a journey you've had since 2011.  It's not surprising that things have been so difficult for you , and I'm sorry for that.

   

All the things you are describing sound like withdrawal symptoms from stopping the Cymbalta.    It may be that reinstating a very small dose , between

1 and 5mgs , will help to alleviate the symptoms you're having , and prevent the withdrawal gathering any more momentum.   You could then get

stable , and taper slowly in a safe and sensible way.   The mods would be better able to advise on what dosage might be safest.

 

We've all been through the withdrawal wringer , so you're in very good company here.

 

Welcome aboard ,   Fresh

This may sound stubborn and counter productive but I don't want to reinstate any chemical to my body even in a small dose.  I don't think I'd have the patience to count out the little balls.  It would probably make me so irritated, I would throw the bottle across the room (or something else that would break and make me happier).  I have a hard enough time just making sure I have my meds/supplements doled out in the right order.  Often I don't think I've managed that correctly.  For the record, I am taking a huge amount of supplements with a few other prescription meds that won't fit into my "signature"...

 

I take 45 mg of Armour Thyroid first thing in the am and have to wait an hour before eating or taking anything else.

 

Then I take 5000 mg or more of vitamin D3, 1/2 mil of Testosterone Lipo (part of my menopause treatment), 1000 mg of Fish Oil, 1 90 billion Probiotic, 150 mg of Adrenal Cortex, 1 Super B vitamin, 1500 mg of L-Tyrosine, 450 mg of Tumeric, 3 capsules of Methyl Guard, 1000 mg of Vitamin C, 100 mg of 5-HTP.

 

In the evening, I take .5 mg of Estradiol and 100 mg of Progesterone (for menopause treatment), 1500 mg of GABA, 1000 mg of Calcium, 500 mg of Magnesium, 200 mg of 5-HTP and 3 more capsules of Methyl Guard.

 

I always feel good if I think I've gotten all of the pills alloted to the right bottles and if I get up at a reasonable hour to take the first two lumps of pills so that I'm not taking them mid-day.  Just thinking about getting these pills straightened out each day makes me irritated.  Well, everything right now makes me irritated.  The color of my clothes, the way my husband breathes, the dogs barking outside, Republicans, religious fanatics, greedy corporations, I could go on and on!  

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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Welcome, Ona.

 

It looks to me like you've been trying very, very hard for years to treat.....something....but an assortment of antidepressants hasn't done anything for you except give you withdrawal syndrome.

 

When someone is inclined to psychiatric drug treatment, it's ridiculously easy to find a doctor who will run through the drug alphabet in prescribing. Your PCP might be kind and helpful, but do you think more experimentation with psychiatric drugs is best for you?

 

We do see reinstatement at a very low dose does take the edge off withdrawal syndrome. It's possible that a low dose of Prozac, say 5mg, would help. No one can predict what will work.

 

Please use search to see our discussions about MTHFR and your other supplements.

 

"Treatment" of MTHFR, if it really needs treatment, is trial and error. (I have two of the variations myself.) If you have withdrawal syndrome, the B vitamins can exacerbate insomnia and other signs of excessive activation -- which are typical of withdrawal syndrome.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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OnaRage , hi again.     With regard to the pill issue , I've found using a dosette box makes it a lot easier to organize them.

 

I have one for am and one for pm.   Once a week I sit down and fill up each little compartment with my meds and nutrients (except Eutroxig , which lives in the fridge).

I find I get into a rhythm , and it's way easier than battling with bottles twice a day.

 

How have the last few days been?

 

p.s. if you click FOLLOW THIS TOPIC at the top right , you'll receive an email each time someone posts.

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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I am not surprised to see that you have chosen OnArage for your screen name! That is quite a list of drugs that you have been given over the years and you are suffering the consequences. This is an amazing place with lots of support while going through withdrawal. I know the last thing you want to do is take any of those poisons again but Alto's suggestion of a very tiny dose of prozac may help the withdrawal symptoms significantly.  No guarantees though, some feel better and others don't but it could be worth a try. It is available in a liquid which is much easier than messing about with those beads! 

 

Whatever you decide, we are all here for you while you recover. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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I just finished an appointment with my new Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner.  She had me complete the GenoMinds testing before prescribing any further medications for me and the results are in.   My system has defects that were considered rare which, for me, means that my treatment will not be the normal course a doctor would take with a patient in my condition.

 

Of all the medications I've been put on since 2011, only one would have been metabolized normally by my liver.  Unfortunately, one of my defects causes SSRI's to be metabolized slowly.  And, with each and every one of these SSRI's, I was:

  1. Prescribed either the target or the very highest dose of the medication allowed.  
  2. I was not tapered off the medication slowly or safely.
  3. The next medication was another one that I metabolized poorly.

If I had had this testing done at the onset of treatment, I may have been OK with simply taking a methylized folate due to the MTHFR genetic defect. It, at the least, would have been the place for me to start.  And, if that didn't work, I could have been prescribed at least something that wasn't immediately doomed to failure due to my system's inability to properly metabolize the drug.  Instead I suffered for years from being overmedicated.  No wonder I couldn't function and lost my mind, my job and any self respect I had left.

 

Today I know that my system can properly metabolize mood stabilizers.  This doesn't mean that I won't have an adverse reaction.  I just won't be screwed at the get-go.  I have a fighting chance for success.  Because the withdrawal syndrome is so bad for me with discontinuing Cymbalta four weeks ago, I can take a drug my system can process to help fight the withdrawal syndrome.  Maybe I won't kill myself (or others) while trying to rid myself of the stuff that doesn't agree with me.  Prozac, even in small doses, would have been a bad choice for me. I had already had it in small dosage and it gave me homicidal thoughts.  Sadly it is one that is on the list of drugs that I metabolize slowly.  I'm glad I didn't take that bait when it was suggested by others here on this forum and also by my new Psych NP before she got the test results.

 

So I will be starting Lamictal today at the lowest available dose (fully aware of it's potential side effects and accepting of it's withdrawal hardships) and will dose up slowly as needed and not to any "target" as recommended by the manufacturer.  A point was made by my doctor that even if my system doesn't have a problem metabolizing a particular drug, it does not mean that I won't have side-effects, so my fingers are crossed.   But at least I don't feel like I'm playing the old Russian Roulette game.  The odds are slightly improved (if only by just a little).  I'll take any help I can get!

 

By the way, the Genomind tests did not cost ME a thing.  I've read just enough information from your site to know that you don't see these tests as being particularly beneficial for withdrawals and others stated the tests were expensive.  I've also seen enough posts insinuating these were another big Pharma tool and another failure by the psychiatric community to address the problem with the mental health crisis.  You probably don't all feel this way but I got the impression that many do.  From my experience, I wanted to say I learned quite a bit today and believe they are still useful for those on this forum especially if they need chemical help but have yet to find relief.  I would not discourage the use of these tests for others visiting your site for help.  Remember, not everyone has the reactions we do to these medications. For some people, they really are life-savers.

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I had similar gene testing done here in Australia , and it shows that my genes in the CYP family don't metabolize anything the way they're supposed to.

Like you , I'm trying to understand my journey on many levels , and to me this explains a lot.

 

I heard a terribly sad story this week.    A 16yo girl had been removed from her mother's care and placed on involuntary medications (CTO) after her behaviour

went out of control.    As a consequence ,  the whole family had their genes tested and all had the same CYP issues.

Older sister is 21 , and recently had a baby.     Two weeks ago she went to a gp and was prescribed something , not sure what at this time.   Baby's father

reports she was acting "vague".

Last Saturday she took a taxi to a local lookout , popular for suicides , and jumped.   CCTV at a nearby service station show her looking bedraggled.

 

If knowledge about what's happening at a genetic level can help to inform us about what's safe and what just isn't , for ourselves , siblings , children , then

I'm all for it.

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Thanks, OnaRage, for telling us about the testing. My body handled Effexor XR well until I stopped taking it. (Plain Effexor at an overdose-dose by a clueless OB-GYN, Dr. May Chew-Araki, almost killed me. She wrote 150MG, I took 75, and had a serious reaction.) Wonder what my liver enzymes had to do with it. Will get the testing if it is affordable. Curious, mainly.

2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink.

2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ...

Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.
2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures.

:o 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years.

I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body.

2015: I  began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning.

I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral.

And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. 

I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up.

In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body.   :unsure:

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So today was my second dose of Lamictal at 25 mg.  I had massive chest pains which may be related to severe gastrointestinal upset so I emailed both my Naturopath and my new Psych NP.  I phrased my questions as such:

 

"I know you both like this drug but all of a sudden I’m getting severe chest pains.  I had just taken a drive with K and was walking back into the house when they started.  They’re sharp pains and not normal for me in any way.  So I read more on the side effects and it was listed as a serious side effect. 

 

I also noted that Lamictal only has an off-label use for depression and has been known to cause an increase in suicidal thoughts.

 

So, I have to ask….  Are you sure this is our drug of choice?"

 

I received the following response from the Psych NP:

 

"i have never, in many hundreds or scripts, seen lamictal cause chest pains.  if you feel they are serious then i would suggest the ER, and not to stop the lamictal unless they tell you to.

i will also defer to dr. juniper, but i don't think the medication is related to your pain.

if you are sweaty, have arm or jaw pain, or shortness of breath please go directly to the ER.

both by your history, the genetic testing, and your symptoms....i don't believe that an antidepressant will work effectively for you.  a mood stabilizer i=s much more likely to be helpful."

 

I'm not "feeling the love" for this new Psych NP with this kind of response.  I've also been thinking about our last meeting and feeling very much like she felt she needed to put me on SOME kind of medication because I am in obvious distress (AD Withdrawals).  But, I think in her mind, it is a psych need, not a need to help me through the withdrawals.

 

I'm feeling frustrated as hell and ready to ditch this deal and try to ride out the withdrawals on my own yet again.  Does anyone have any feedback or suggestions for me?  Does anyone have similar experience from Lamictal?  

Edited by JanCarol
remove identifying personal name

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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OnaRage , hi again.     With regard to the pill issue , I've found using a dosette box makes it a lot easier to organize them.

 

 

Hey Fresh, 

 

Believe it or not, I take so many supplements and prescriptions, they won't fit into those boxes.  I tried early on to get more organized with them.  Now I use empty prescription bottles labeled am/pm and I try to get the pills in the right bottle.  I'm probably doing a fairly good job on this.  But there have been days that I took the bottles in the wrong order despite trying to be so careful.  And there have been days that I've forgotten a bottle altogether somehow.  

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I would be very wary of another psych drug. It is a completely different drug and the only thing that will stop withdrawal is the drug that you are withdrawing from,

In all the years of my experience of psych meds and doctors they always said that my problems were not drug related but part of my 'mental illness'  after tests for everything under the sun came back fine! They didn't accept all the side effects and never believed in withdrawal.  You know your own body and if you feel it is a side effect and it is listed as a serious side effect in the patient leaflet I would not take it. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Thanks for your response, Mamma P.  It's exactly what I've been experiencing and thinking.  I just haven't been trusting myself anymore.  I should.  I could save myself all sorts of trouble, huh?!  lol   :wacko:

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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  • Administrator

25mg is not the lowest available dose of lamotrigine. Lamotrigine comes in 2mg and 5mg tablets.

 

25mg is the usual starting dose. It could be 25mg is too much for you, as your nervous system has been sensitized by withdrawal. See for information about titrating lamotrigine Tips for tapering off Lamictal (lamotrigine)

 

It seems you chose to try lamotrigine instead of reinstating a small amount of Cymbalta. Generally, from what we've seen, reinstating Cymbalta (or maybe Prozac) is more effective for Cymbalta withdrawal syndrome than taking some other drug. As little as 10 beads of Cymbalta might help.

 

Lamotrigine is not an antidepressant. It is a drug that dampens nervous system activity.

 

Please consider whether you yourself possess a deep belief in that there is some kind of pill out there that can fix your personal problems, and you are rather susceptible to promises of such from medical personnel.

 

The genetic testing that is supposed to indicate which antidepressants are for you mostly analyzes liver enzymes. Some people metabolize antidepressants poorly because they have certain normal liver enzyme variations. However, there are many more factors than liver enzymes determining reaction to antidepressants or any drugs.

 

We have seen no correlation whatsoever between liver enzymes or MTHFR and antidepressant withdrawal syndrome.

 

"Treating" MTHFR variations, which are extremely common and normal genetic variations, has become the new fad in alternative medicine. Please use search to see our discussions of MTHFR.

 

Please use search to see our discussions of any remedy you're considering for withdrawal syndrome; we have discussions on just about anything you might think of or be sold by doctors or alternative practitioners.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thank you,. Altostrata.  I appreciate your patience with me.  My brain isn't firing on all cylinders anymore.  I used to be smart.  Then I took these drugs.  Now I'm as slow as a turtle.  I will reinstate the Cymbalta.  Luckily, I have some prescription left.

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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Lamictal is used for its antidepressant qualities and not for anti manic ones.

Type A agents are supposed to stabilize mania, and Type B stabilize depression. Lithium is A and B. Lamictal is B.

Quote:

On the other hand, the anticonvulsant lamotrigine may be considered the prototype of a Class B mood stabilizer.[5] In clinical trials it has been shown to benefit acute bipolar depression without inducing mania or cycle acceleration; it also prevents depressive relapse. Lamotrigine was approved in 2003 by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for long-term maintenance treatment of BPD. Key data from lamotrigine clinical trials will be presented in the next section of this program (Lamotrigine for Bipolar Depression).

 

From: http://www.medscape.org/viewarticle/470126_3

 

I recall being surprised by this, because during my iatrogenic mania, Lamictal was tried. Later I was angry that my doctor was unaware that it is not meant for mania. The good thing about it compared to ADs is that it does not induce mania, which might be why some people think it is an anti mania agent. I mainly recall being on it and Wellbutrin, and being, well, energetic, but not crazy.

 

Have you asked a doctor about this?

2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink.

2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ...

Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.
2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures.

:o 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years.

I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body.

2015: I  began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning.

I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral.

And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. 

I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up.

In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body.   :unsure:

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Lamotrigine is, as Alto says, a nervous system dampener. (It acts against glutamate, the nervous system's primary excitatory neurotransmitter.)

 

As far as what it's "for" that's just how they market it. Antidepressant, mood stabilizer...well, read Anatomy of an Epidemic, I would say, so you can understand how these drugs are discovered and how they decide what to call them and how they are marketed. If you want to know, that is. It's not only not rocket science, it is sadly not science at all. It's more of a clown circus.

 

I think most of the reason it helps people with bipolar 2 (which is almost always iatrogenic I think, rarely diagnosed in someone who hasn't been on psych drugs already) is because it dampens the general biochemical chaos that happens due to polydrugging, etc. so it seems to settle things down, which is an improvement when people are in drug-induced chaos. But it comes with its own price. In my case, primarily cognitive, plus increased suicidality, plus at the full dose they had me on (originally 300 mg) I lost a lot of hair.

 

Lamictal blocks folic acid metabolism so I really don't think it should be taken by someone with MTHFR issues.

 

It's sort of become the pill they give you when they need to give you something but ADs don't seem to be working out so well. If you're really lucky you'll get a new diagnosis to go along with it too.

 

OnaRage, I'm so sorry you've been through so much. I really think your best bet is a very small reinstatement of Cymbalta, or maybe Prozac (I would go with what Alto suggests, she is the expert here on reinstatement).

 

The thing is we are talking about such a low dose that I doubt you will get the bad effects of the drug, but it's enough to give your nervous system a bit more of a "floor" to stabilize.

 

Your nervous system has remodeled itself around the chemistry that these drugs create, like a plant shaping itself around a trellis. When you want to remove the trellis and let the plant go back to its natural healthy shape, you can't just yank it out, that causes too much damage. The plant that is your brain still needs just a little support while you grow a new brain that's healthy and strong. You will be able to remove that little bit of drug very gradually and safely, eventually.

 

At least, give it a try. It's not a cure but we find it generally takes the worst of the edge off withdrawal--not overnight, and not 100%, and there are still ups and downs, but often it gives people enough support that they can stabilize and then take their time getting off the rest of the drug.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Thank you all for your explanation of the Lamictal and for your support.  I received an email back from the Psych NP who was very supportive of my decision to take the Lamictal back off the table.  She is happy to help me become drug free.  I'm surprised but grateful.  I have to have psych help to support my SSDI claim.  The attorney's told me my Naturopath wouldn't hold any water with Social Security.  It's frustrating.  I've been out of work for two years as of April Fools day and have been no where near stable enough to go back to work though I'd like to work in some capacity.  I keep the medical help that has actually proven helpful, not just those with fancy titles.  My Naturopath really is the bomb and has kept me alive when I didn't think I would make it.   

 

So, I reinstated about 10 beads of the Cymbalta late yesterday and almost feel like myself (well, the self that doesn't rage and cry all the time).  I'm still easily confused and took forever just to dose my supplements out and remaining prescriptions (hormones for premature ovarian failure).   I am looking at those too to ensure I'm not taking something that's not helpful or something that makes things worse.  I don't want to change everything at once and upset this delicate apple cart.  I think I've now learned that from you people! lol

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Good. The fact that you got a positive response is a good sign.

 

After a successful reinstatement it's normal for people to feel better and then to feel worse again and worry that they did something wrong or need to up their dose or whatever. The thing is, you're destabilized now, your nervous system is still in some chaos and struggling to re-establish homeostasis after all the drugs and the CTs and various things. So it's still going to be up and down for a while. Hopefully the beads of Cymbalta will give your brain the support it needs to heal and balance out, but they won't fix you 100%. Only time and gentle handling of your nervous system can do that. 

 

Hang in there, and keep us posted.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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You could have let me just dream, Rhiannon!   :wacko:   lol  

 

I kind of figured as much.  But my fingers are crossed.  I'm grateful I'm married and that he has an income that can support us fairly well.  It would be worse if I didn't have him or his support.  I'd have nothing. I could only imagine if I had to live with my parents.  My Dad is such an ass, he nearly ran over me with the car the other day when he and my mom were getting ready to leave.  I was just trying to hug my mom and kiss her goodbye when he decided he'd had enough and started driving away with me halfway in the car.

 

See, there are miracles! 

 

:)

 

Today has been a good day almost all day.  I'll take it!

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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Just an update in case anyone is wondering how I'm doing with reinstatement.  So far, with 10 beads, I'm doing MUCH better.  I even managed some house work and shopping as well as a midday nap.  The only thing that's not good is that my feet are aching again.  Cymbalta or....?????  Time will tell.

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hey OnaRage,

 

Great to hear you are feeling much better with the reinstatement. That's very good news

 

Cheers

 

Dalsaan

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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Still feeling surprisingly well with only 10 beads (or so, those suckers are tiny)!  Still a bit emotional but not raging and not constant.  Managed to deep clean our bedroom and bathroom today AND shop and cook.  Oh and did laundry too.  It's amazing how little it takes to make me hopeful.  :-)

 

Hope everyone else is fairing well.

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

That's wonderful news OnaRage.   Hopefully you'll continue to improve - it takes 4 days for the Cymbalta to get to a steady state in your blood , so we'll all

have to stay tuned.

:)

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Still at 10 beads of Cymbalta.  I've stablized at only mildly irritable.  So where do I go from here?

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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Snappy, severe agitation and uncontrollable snottiness...  Does anyone else have these symptoms?  And do you think they are part of the "withdrawals" or do you think they are associated with depression?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.  

 

 

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I think it is likely still withdrawal.  It can be up and down for a while after reinstating.  May I ask why you were put on Celexa originally, back in 2011?

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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I think it is likely still withdrawal.  It can be up and down for a while after reinstating.  May I ask why you were put on Celexa originally, back in 2011?

Depression.

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I would put my money on withdrawal. If it was me I would hold on your current dose for a while rather than thinking about the next dose. Give your nervous system a break and let go of the urge to do something. Sometimes doing nothing is doing something

 

How is your sleep?

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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  • Moderator Emeritus

With so much going on, it will be near impossible to determine what is causing anything.  I agree with Dalsaan, your best bet might be to make no changes for a while to give your system a chance to sort things out without more confusion from further changes.  I know it is hard to do nothing when our instinct is always to try to do something to solve the problem.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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Boy, you guys!  I was getting ready to drop another bead. lol  I actually did drop from 10 to 9 this morning.  I guess I better put that bead back into the mix tomorrow morning.  I've had a nice window for days with just embarrassing agitation causing me to make apologies to people in public after knocking their blocks off for no reason.

 

My sleep has been off and on but I have been taking some supplements and some benadryl to sleep.  I've just finished reading the thread of another member and realized that I need to take a look at this and some of my supplements and make a decision on what I should continue and what might be causing me more harm than good.

 

I filed for disability over a year ago.  4/1 was my two year anniversary of unemployment and I am in no condition to go back to work.  What I find particularly frustrating is that my Naturopath and my Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner will hold less weight when it comes to SSDI than a regular doctor and psychiatrist.  And I will really struggle to win a case when I report I am taking no medication.  Neither one of my doctors understands the withdrawals that I'm going through.  Both think I should have stayed the course with their drug of choice, Lamictal.   I thought chest pains were too scary.  I guess I'm a weeny!  And I refuse to add another doctor to this train wreck of bad healthcare that helped me to this place in life.  And I just informed my husband that he is never to let me go to the hospital with a mental health crisis because we're not starting this whole circus over again.

 

So, I've gone from a very high 5 figure income to nada with no hope of another dime.  My doctors, who hold less weight with Social Security, don't believe in the withdrawal syndrome.  And that's not really a qualifying disability anyway.  With those circumstances, it makes it hard to do nothing.  I feel I need forward progress so I have to remind myself every day that the goal is to get well, not to win SSDI.  I'm lucky that my husband can support us through this.  Others are certainly not so lucky.  

 

And when I look at today's news with the German copilot crashing that plane, I worry about our futures.  I feel a witch hunt coming on.  But the target should be the failed system and the drug companies, not us.  I've always had the mind of an activist.  When I feel better, I look forward to starting or joining in a fight for our rights and for proper care.   But, until I'm really healthy again, I will take the opportunity to learn as much as I can from this community and I will enjoy the view from every window I get and I'll hang on for dear life when I'm hit with the huge, devastating waves.

 

I appreciate the support this site gives to all of us suffering from these medications.   Sending warm thoughts to all who had waves today.  May you all have the strength to hold on for another window.

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 

My sleep has been off and on but I have been taking some supplements and some benadryl to sleep.  I've just finished reading the thread of another member and realized that I need to take a look at this and some of my supplements and make a decision on what I should continue and what might be causing me more harm than good.

 .

Can you tell me a little more about this? What have your sleep patterns looked like over the past few weeks and what supplements have you been taking? Sleep is very important to healing in the long term and our ongoing emotional state. It's worth investing energy in getting this as good as it can be

 

D

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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My sleep has been off and on but I have been taking some supplements and some benadryl to sleep.  I've just finished reading the thread of another member and realized that I need to take a look at this and some of my supplements and make a decision on what I should continue and what might be causing me more harm than good.

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Can you tell me a little more about this? What have your sleep patterns looked like over the past few weeks and what supplements have you been taking? Sleep is very important to healing in the long term and our ongoing emotional state. It's worth investing energy in getting this as good as it can be

 

D

 

Hi Dalsaan!

 

I've taken a number of different supplements for relaxation, adrenal support, etc. over the last year but this is what I've taken most recently:

 

Methyl Guard Plus (2 in the am 2 in the pm)

Relora (300 mg in both am and pm)

Lavela WS 1265 (1 in the am and pm)

5-HTP (100 mg in the am, 200 in the pm)

Inositol (500 mg in both am and pm)

Calcium (1000 mg in pm)

Fish Oil (1000 mg in am)

D3 (10000 mg in am)

Probiotic (90 billion in am)

Adrenal Cortex (150 mg in am)

Vitamin C (1000 mg in am)

 

I also take Armour Thyroid (45 mg)

Estradiol (0.5 mg in pm)

Progesterone (100 mg in pm)

Testosterone Lipo (1/2 mil in am)

 

I recently eliminated the 400 mg of Magnesium which I'd been taking in the pm as well as the Benedryl that I'd been taking in the pm.  

 

This past week was the first decent night of sleep I've had in quite some time.  Usually, my husband goes to be long before I do and I end up watching TV or reading until 3 or 4 in the morning.  Sometimes, I'm still up at 5 am when my husband goes to work.  Again, it's been MUCH better in the last week.  I think it's because I have been using the benedryl but I won't know until I eliminate it and see how it goes.  Prior to this, I'd occasionally take an Ativan to sleep.  I realized this was really a dangerous maneuver so I'm no longer taking that unless I'm having a severe panic attack.

 

Does this give you enough info, Dalsaan?

Celexa 20 mg from 4/28/11 to 9/28/11 - RESULT - Didn't help enough.  Was moved to a new medication.  Med prescribed by PCP with diag of GAD and AD.

Zoloft 50 mg from 9/29/11 to 10/17/11 - RESULT - Symptoms getting worse not better.  Moved to a new medication

Prozac 20 mg from 10/18/11 to 11/1/11 - RESULT - It made me homocidal.  That was new to me!  So fun!  :-(

Effexor 75 mg to 150 mg  from 11/2/11 to 6/9/12 - RESULT - Requested increase in dose as a work situation triggered PTSD and severe depression

Zoloft 25 mg to 150 mg from 7/9/12 to 11/6/12

Zoloft 200 mg from 11/7/12 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - Medication not working.  Was graduated off this too quickly by an emergency PNP who diagnosed me as BP

BUSPAR 30 mg from 1/4/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - one 10 mg tab 3x/day - RESULT - Severe hot flashes, lethargy, unable to function

Lamictal 50 mg 4/17/13 to 5/13/13 - RESULT - new PNP told me Lamictal could kill me and that we needed to transition me off immediately.  Tried again for three days in March 2015.  Had severe chest pains on day 2 so quit taking.

Dropped all meds after going to yet another psychiatrist who gave me yet another diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and wanted to change meds again.

Cymbalta 30 mg to 60 mg to 20 mg from 12/27/13 to 2/24/15 then stopped taking altogether until 3/23 when reinstated 10 beads.

Ativan .5 to 1 mg as needed since 2011 (at least).  Not a daily med.  Used mostly during periods of detox from antidepressants.  Stopped taking in March 2015 due to fear of dependency and risk of causing further depression.

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