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akakoom: lost in no-man's-land

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akakoom

Hello everyone

 

My story is a brief one.  I was sufferring anxiety and depression this winter 2014 over a personal loss, and after 4 months I couldnt take it anymore.  I had been in and out of the doctors office all this time, and in early March my doctor recomended paxil to deal with my anxiety and depression.  He gave me 30 pills of 10mg.  I went home and took 1 a day over the next 3 days.  And stopped.  I only took 3 pills.  Since then I am finding my personality has drastically changed.  Complete flat affect.  Anhedonia.  After only 3 frikkin pills.  Here I was thinking I was being responsible stopping after 3 pills.  I now know that SSRIs effects are immediate.  I think the pills ruined my whole serotonin distribution paths throughout my cortex.  I remember about an hour after taking the first pill I felt massive tingles throughout my head.  I wonder if that was my serotonin neurons dying.  Now here it is about 3 weeks later and I have felt no signs of recovery.  I am an emotional zombie.  I feel vacant.

 

Thats my story.  Don't take SSRIs... not even 1 pill!

 

Never!


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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btdt

Welcome akakoom your not the first person to be damaged by a few pills luckily there is this site now that can reaffirm your experience.  It can take some time to recover but hopefully it will not be years.  There is a section call self help I suggest you read it to find way to help yourself.  If you have any questions about anything you find there just ask... people are really helpful here.

I wish you peace. 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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Hudgens

Yes, people get used to these drugs quickly. I mean after a week or so there in there, established and working.  But also, as with everyone else, you'll eventually get back to your original nervous system configuration.

The very best way to handle your original anxiety/depression problems is cognitive/behavioral therapy. This the most powerful therapy to date and expensive, yes, but we're talking about the quality of your life here.

What was your reaction to the 3 pills that made you stop taking the drug? Did you have a bad reaction? Many find antidepressants work well and only run in to a problem later when they, for example, try and get off of them. Others have a bad reaction in the beginning.

The Cognitive/behavioral therapy would also help very much with your current withdrawal symptoms.   

Also you're right that these drugs change you personality. Everyone here talks about that aspect of antidepressants. I was a very different person for almost twenty years. The good news is that your old personality does come back. Mine started coming back when I was half way through my taper and has now completely returned. So you'll be OK with time. But you'll still probably have the original anxiety/depression problem which, as I said can be taken care of with therapy. Which, by the way works as well, and I think better, than antidepressants, with no side effects.

Keep posting about your withdrawal symptoms. 


Sept 12th 1992-began taking Imipramine (50mgs) for panic attacks.

Stopped Imipramine after 4 months (cold turkey).

7 months later experienced "mysterious" bad flu-like symptoms, although, without upper respiratory problems or fever. Because of this and a day of panic attacks, was put on Prozac (20mgs?) for 2 months and then, when that didn't work-was put back on  Imipramine,  plus Xanax 1 mg (4Xdaily)-October 1993.

March 1999-switched from Imipramine (50mgs) to Celexa.

2008-switched to Pristiq for 3 months, then back to Effexor XR (after bad reaction to the Pristiq).

Sept 1st 2010-Switched from Effexor XR (75mgs) to Effexor Generic (solid form) in preparation for taper.

Nov 15th 2010-Began tapering from 75mgs Effexor Generic.

January 13th 2014-.06mgs

April 17th 2014-      .03mgs

May 11th 2014-       .02mgs

Ended taper October 31st 2014

Oct 4th 2015-11 months post taper and completely back to normal!

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mammaP

Hi Akakoom, welcome to SA. I am so sorry to read that you have had such a reaction to Paxil. You are not alone, we have people come here who have had severe reactions from just a few pills.  This will get better but it will take time. Sadly I can't give you any time frame, some heal faster than others. 

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium to be helpful,  magnesuim baths ( Epsom salts ) are especially beneficial, 2-3 cups in a warm bath gives a lot of relief for me.  Once the nervous system has been compromised many people can't tolerate food additives, caffeine, alcohol etc. Try to eat good nutritious food, take gentle exercise such as walking, cycling or swimming and if you can sleep, it is the best medicine.  

 

There are many good suggestions in the symptoms and self care section, I will pull up some links for you to read. 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You will find some links to  diet, supplements etc in this thread. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/606-important-topics-about-tests-supplements-treatments-diet/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/604-important-topics-about-symptoms-including-sleep-problems/

 

Doctor David Healey has a website that asks for peoples' experiences of drugs and side effects, he also does consultations by email and may be interested in your case. Here is the site, Risxk  https://www.rxisk.org/Default.aspx


**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Laura1981

Just saw this. I also only took the pills Venlafaxine pills for 5 days. This is the fourth week of symptoms. 

 

This stuff just sucks so much.... Hang in there Akakoom... I am starting to have some brief but bright moments again. 


Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional

Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. 

After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. 

June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells

September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. 

 

Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn

 

Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland:

https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg

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Laura1981

Hey, how are you feeling now? Are things getting any better? 

 

All the best, Laura


Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional

Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. 

After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. 

June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells

September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. 

 

Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn

 

Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland:

https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg

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Hopefull

Hi Akakoom,

You are not alone in this. I too had a severe reaction to Zoloft only after 3 pills. I also experienced massive tingling /burning in the head and horrible withdrawal symptoms. Hang in there. You are obviously very sensitive to medication. You have to be patient and you will recover. I know how hard this is. I just wanted to let you know that this has happened to some of us and that you will heal!


DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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akakoom

hi everybody

 

here's a 1 month update...

 

the first 3 weeks after i took my paxil it felt like my brain was on fire.  the chem must have been irritating my brain and my head was flushed, my body was trying to react to the invader.  after about 3 weeks, around easter, things seemed to calm down.  my brain is still a bit irritated, but only about 10% of what it felt like at its worst.

 

ive been following a supplement regimen:

 

700mg omega3

500mg vit c

1 mg folic acid

25mcg vit d

75mg b6

150mcg b12

135mg vit e

50mg zinc

600mg inositol

 

so far i havent noticed an improvement.  i think i must have gotten really unlucky, and suffered a years damage with only 1 pill.  i can only imagine what a person who took this crap for years must be going through.  but that being said, having no emotions is miserable. 

 

no improvement yet.  i do feel nerve twitches occasionally. and tingling around my mouth.  hands and feet dont seem as numb as they used to.  maybe thats improvement.


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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akakoom

i cant stand this anymore

i cant take it


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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direstraits

so sorry akakoom-this poison should be banned


went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct  back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.

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Laura1981

So sorry to hear you're suffering so much! Did it not get better at all? No windows? 

 

Just know that the despair you feel is part of the bad reaction you had. It will pass. The world will look bright again soon! Just hang in there! 


Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional

Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. 

After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. 

June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells

September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. 

 

Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn

 

Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland:

https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg

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btdt

i cant stand this anymore

i cant take it

What are you doing to help yourself... I am not going to say behavior modification...so don't worry about that but there are many other things you can do that help... see the self care section find some tools it will help.

peace 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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akakoom

2 months. no change

 

the damage this stuff has done to my nervous system is permanent - too much to list.  everything involving emotions is gone.

 

all the supplements in the world will do squat.  this is damage to the brain.  there's no pill for that


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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btdt

2 months. no change

 

the damage this stuff has done to my nervous system is permanent - too much to list.  everything involving emotions is gone.

 

all the supplements in the world will do squat.  this is damage to the brain.  there's no pill for that

Your right there is no pill for that.

However the brain heals itself there is a book out called "the Brains Way of Healing"  the author wrote a book before that which I hear is good too but I only have the last one.  The brain cannot do what it does quickly like the pills but it does its very best to heal it is doing it now tho you don't see or feel any different.  While I was in bed the first 3 months after the wd hit 6wks after stopping Effexor I was sure I was going to die... but I didn't die... and it took a long time and a lot of strain and worry... I did not know what was wrong with me because I did not know there was such a thing as wd... I found my first information on wd after 8 months of cold turkey suffering.... 

 

Things had already changed by 8 months for one I was out of bed and I could read I could not do either of those the first three months.

It takes a long time but healing dose happen.  It may not be complete but it is way better then the beginning.


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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akakoom

i was just surfing the net and i found one guy who was saying it takes he neurons at least 2 years to heal themselves.  the prospect of feeling this way for the next 2 years is very depressing.  i cant feel love.  and im 47.  i might not feel any emotions till im 50.  fukk

 

1 pill is going to cost me everything


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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Pugknows

I read they regrow and mature every 7-9 weeks.


January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

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Pugknows

You only took 3 pills. You'll probably be fine very soon.


January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

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LoveandLight

Don't surf the net.just look at success stories..I made this mistake..collected all the bad stuff and worried myself sick..


2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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akakoom

i do look at success stories.  and i look at the list of chems people have been on, and for how long.... and I just cant imagine how they have any neurons left!  but they survive.  a testament to the resilience of life and spirit.  just don't know if i am strong enough.


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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LoveandLight

Yes, I know the feeling but we will and we do.


2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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akakoom

http://www.normandoidge.com/?page_id=1042

 

looks like it is available on his website.

 

i was taking a bunch of supplements but gave up on it:

 

vit b6 b12

vit c

folic acid

vit d

vit e

omega 3

zinc

 

i understand how the brain can repair itself through exercise, like if you have nerve damage in a limb,but how do you exercise your emotions?


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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Laura1981

Hey Akakoom,

 

You're asking how the brain can repair itself through exercise. I have an idea for you: I tried laughter yoga today because I woke up in terror with chest pain and could hardly breathe. I felt soooo stupid, but they say that even faking to laugh can make a big difference because it releases the same substances as if you really laugh. Try searching for tutorials on youtube. 

 

For me, the chest pain and shortness of breath disappeared after a while of doing the exercises. I still feel a bit stupid, but hey, if it helps...

 

Cheers, 

 

Laura


Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional

Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. 

After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. 

June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells

September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. 

 

Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn

 

Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland:

https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg

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akakoom

maybe a bit of a window today.  my hands and feet don't feel nearly as numb/bloated as they have in the past.  they feel hot, flushed with blood, and kinda sore.  feet especially.  maybe that's a sign of healing

 

anhedonia is ever-present tho.  god its s terrible experience


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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Laura1981

Hey, that sounds much better! You sound much more positive. Crossing fingers that the anhedonia starts to lift soon. 


Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional

Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. 

After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. 

June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells

September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. 

 

Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn

 

Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland:

https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg

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akakoom

hands feet still bad.  yesterday was just different, not better.  anhedonia still present. 


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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Laura1981

Oh no! Sending you all the best! Are you able to do stuff? Go out a bit and get some daylight? If you feel like talking to a fellow victim of short term AD use, send me a message.


Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional

Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. 

After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. 

June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells

September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. 

 

Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn

 

Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland:

https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg

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akakoom

actually im pretty much functional.  i am maintaining my job. and my friends don't know.  i can act interested.  to be honest, i can feel about 5% of my emotions.  its been like this since the beginning.  but i can tell they are drastically reduced.  and i know its not depression.  i can tell its the meds

 

i am sleeping ok. so i just wait it out and hope it gets better.  but almost 2 months have not shown any changes

 

i am obviously very sensitive to these meds.  i will never take a psych med again.  they are nothing more than neurotoxins.  there will come a day in the future when people will look back at these times, and wonder wtf were we thinking... handing out toxins and calling them medicine


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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Laura1981

That's good to hear, that you are able to keep your job and function. But it must be nasty not feeling anything.

 

I'm completely non functional. My salary has been cut and I have to start the long term disability paperwork with work now.

 

I couldn't agree more with you. These drugs are toxins. I don't understand why nobody woke up to this fact yet. They even have the same withdrawal effects as Mdma (extasy). Just that the ADs have some extra, more nasty effects.

 

I hope you get better soon or at least have some windows. Are you eating lots of fresh, natural foods so your body gets all the building blocks for nerve repair that it needs?


Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional

Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. 

After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. 

June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells

September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. 

 

Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn

 

Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland:

https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg

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akakoom

its been almost 2 months.  i only took 3 pills.  the meds are definitely out of my system by now.  severe anhedonia hasn't budged. 

 

I'm facing the fact that this is not the meds.  this is brain damage

 

getting severely depressed - this is beyond unfair.  i only took 3 pills of something i never needed in the first place. 

 

so depressed


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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akakoom

i am 47

i live alone

i have no one to help me, take care of me

im finding it harder to engage in life... meet day to day tasks - from depression

no one knows what i am going through.  i feel if i talked to someone they would scoff, not believe me:

"only 3 pills... c'mon that's not going to hurt you"

that hurts even more when i don't get respect from what happened.  yes, even 1 pill can damage you

i suffer in silence and don't know how much longer i can go on

 

this is a living nightmare

 

if i felt even a little bit of progress, that would be something to hold on to, but there's been nothing

 

i  am not strong enough to deal with this


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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Laura1981

Hey Akakoom!

 

I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad! It's disheartning to feel nothing is changing!

 

But it will heal! Don't worry. Did you see "JustwantobeFree's" thread? She suddenly got a huge bit better, kinda out of nowhere.

 

If I look at your signature, you already crossed some symptoms off your list as well. Hey, the offer to talk on Skype or private message is still there. I think depression is a vicious loop: I don't want to talk to anybody because I don't want them to see me as weak. But social interaction is so important to get out of depression.

 

I hope you get better soon!

 

Laura


Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional

Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. 

After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. 

June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells

September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. 

 

Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn

 

Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland:

https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg

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akakoom

it's been 2 months.

 

i only took 3 pills... the chemical is long out of my system

 

the only conclusion i can draw is that this is permanent brain damage.  remember it was only 3 pills.  this is so unfair.  i cant go on like this.  i cant take this.  i cant live the rest of my life like this.  i feel nothing i want to die


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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Laura1981

Oh Akakoom,

 

I'm so sorry to hear that you're still not feeling much better. For me it's similar. Constant racing thoughts, no joy, constant awful symptoms.

 

It's so unfair. But your brain will recover! I'm sure of it! Just hang on, one day at a time.

 

Best, Laura


Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional

Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. 

After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. 

June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells

September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. 

 

Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn

 

Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland:

https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg

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btdt

I think you should ask a moderator why .... as i can't recall what the answer to this is... ask one...please know that it takes some time to heal the body heals slowly. 

I wish you peace


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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akakoom

I've noticed over the last few days that the hot and burning sensation in my head is for the most part subsided.  Probably an indication that the immune response has run its course.  Probably the inflammation has gone.

 

No changes in any other symptoms.  Still anhedonia / pssd

 

hands and feel feel strange.  Sometimes numb, sometimes hot and flushed.  Constantly changing, but nothing that I would call getting better yet.  The meds are still in the synapse and I guess my body cant clear them


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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akakoom

i give up.

 

im not going to get better

 

i wish you all healing, there's none for me

 

goodbye


March 5, 6  2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill

 

numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore

**anhedonia, blank emotions

PSSD, anorgasmia

heartbeat rhythm problems

"To err is human.  To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/

 

"When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)

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