akakoom Posted September 22, 2015 Author Share Posted September 22, 2015 went to see my gp today... for a totally unrelated problem. a wart on my foot... but his whole demeanor... fucktard. wow i can see it now how incompetant the meds system is. didnt know what bandaid to use. facepalm but i am not bitter March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
johnson Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Hi Ali I'm ok I guess. Still waiting for any sign of hope. not much has changed. still feel funny in the hands and feet, and the arousal is gone. i don't think i will ever get better. its hard to get a new girlfriend when you don't get horny anymore. cant please the ladies ( You could please women in "other" ways even if everything is not working right(I'm sure you know what I'm talking about). I think if you do get a new girlfriend, you like her and are comfortable with her and she is hopefully understanding then you'll get aroused one way or another. I'm in a similar situation as you. I've been struggling back and forth with the idea of having a girlfriend while struggling with PSSD. But I think it would be worth it in the end. Link to comment
akakoom Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 i guess i am going to have to accept this is permanent. the chemical killed the brain cells. it's gone. end of story it's just a matter of luck. i didn't have any **i think anyone who honestly thinks this gets better is just in denial. i think we brainwash ourselves over time to convince ourselves we get better. the brain cant heal itself. it was never meant to take damage like this. i think i will never get better. all i can do is adapt to my new life -Cam March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
LexAnger Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I know how you feel, with no improvement or even worse getting worse with new symptoms after a long long haul! I often feel the same when I am hit by a bad wave especially after a window which make you think otherwise, then boom, very heartbreaking and make you feel hopeless. As bad as it can get, we do see ppl heal. They felt the same before they got better but eventually they gained hope as things get better soooo slowly. I decided, if continuing battle is the only option, then what else better I can do except for trying to be hopeful whenever possible and whatever helps. I just let myself down when it's completely impossible to cheer myself up though, and wait. I'm currently in a very bad wave so I'm waiting again. I hope The wave and window pattern come soon for you so you can feel the lift during the windows. Sending Hugs, LexA Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
johnson Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 i guess i am going to have to accept this is permanent. the chemical killed the brain cells. it's gone. end of story it's just a matter of luck. i didn't have any **i think anyone who honestly thinks this gets better is just in denial. i think we brainwash ourselves over time to convince ourselves we get better. the brain cant heal itself. it was never meant to take damage like this. i think i will never get better. all i can do is adapt to my new life -Cam There is a success story of a guy named lossleader. Someone posted his success story on behalf of him in the recovery success stories section of this website. He was beyond doom and gloom from what other members have said, but in the end he finally recovered. And he recovered from PSSD. Just something to think about. Link to comment
akakoom Posted September 24, 2015 Author Share Posted September 24, 2015 thanks everybody. i will try to stay positive and hopeful March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted September 24, 2015 Author Share Posted September 24, 2015 my only concern is... do people who "recover" actually heal, or do people just adapt to their damaged brain. I guess you would know whether or not your PSSD went away. That would be a bit too hard to miss. I guess recovery is possible. I hope it happens soon I pray we all recover March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 i've never experienced the windows/waves phenomenon. i took the pills and things have been gone ever since March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
LexAnger Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 it took me 1 yr to get a 1-day window after hit by dose increase, not even off the drug. so hard to believe it will ever get better when in such long waves. take a look at this, so well illustrated for the very complicated and mysterious process. http://youtu.be/KQtO6HXJfjw Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
akakoom Posted September 26, 2015 Author Share Posted September 26, 2015 brain damage permanent cant believe anything else March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 Cam, you're not doing yourself a favor by repeating over and over again that this is "permanent". It's not and you will get better. I know how hard it is, but please at least try to be a little more positive and not catastrophizing all the time. You only took a couple of pills. You will be OK. I know you can't see it now and it feels like this will last forever, but it won't. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
akakoom Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 hi Blue, thanks for stopping by, thanks for the message of hope. I try to stay positive but it's tough. I am still fighting tho. As long as I'm breathing, they haven't won. I hope you are feeling better. I hope the vacation helped. I have a lot in my life I am dealing with... but dont we all... March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
johnson Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Hi Aka, You have to keep fighting. I'm at 34 months off my pills now and I'm still fighting. It's almost been 3 years off pills and over 3 years of PSSD! I'm still fighting somehow. I don't really know how I keep going but I do. Someone posted a really good quote on this website the other day by Martin Luther King. It's really good. “If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Hi you guys. I hope everyone is doing well today..this thread has given me hope that I will recover. I have been on ssris for 1.5 years and off 2 months..I am praying my brain heals. I look at my perfect boyfriend and feel nothing but other moments feel a little and it makes me cry because it is so so hard going through this! Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
AliG Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Hi AKA, Totally agree with Blu ! This is not permanent ! I love Johnson's quote . " If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward ". Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Coopergirl1 Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Brassmonkey-how inspiring are your stories! I often wonder is the " this relationship isn't right for me or not good enough for me " feeling a side effect of the drugs? I hope to feel OK again. Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014 New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next. Link to comment
AliG Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I think you're on the wrong thread , Cooper girl 1 . Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
akakoom Posted September 29, 2015 Author Share Posted September 29, 2015 hi Ali, Jhonson thans for the positive vibes. My head is still cloudy. Especially the frontal lobe. damn meds. I hope this isnt permanent. so sorry johnson t o hear about 3 years! terrible and hi coopergirl, yeah I think you are on the wrong thread, but you are welcome here too. I wish you all healing March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 burning sensation feels like its back again today. mild and in the frontal lobe head has felt stuffier than normal last few days having insomnia atm too March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 really depressed March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
tgirl Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Hello Akakoom, It will get better! Just hang in. Best wishes April 2014 remeron 45mg. June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!! Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0 Currently Remeron 7.5 Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems. August 2015 down to 0.1 mg Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg. Link to comment
akakoom Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 ty tgirl it gets discouraging March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
tgirl Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 I know it does. What are your symptoms right now? April 2014 remeron 45mg. June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!! Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0 Currently Remeron 7.5 Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems. August 2015 down to 0.1 mg Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg. Link to comment
akakoom Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 same as in my sig numb, rubbery hands and feet. sometimes they feel bloated, bigger than normal cloudy inthe head. pssd, anhedonia, no happiness, but plenty of depression March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 i just noticed... when i first got hit with the symptoms, i would have vivid dreams every night. now i cant remember the last time i remembered a dream. its been a few weeks or so. before the drugs i hardly ever remembered my dreams. so that is actually getting back to normal March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 my frontal lobe kinda feels fluttering March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
tgirl Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Awesome about your dreams! April 2014 remeron 45mg. June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!! Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0 Currently Remeron 7.5 Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems. August 2015 down to 0.1 mg Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg. Link to comment
akakoom Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 Awesome about your dreams! i hope its a good sign, tgirl March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 dare i say it... i might be feeling a bit better today. emotions are still gone but when i try to feel certain emotions, i dont have the same cloudy, brick like feeling pushing back against the emotions i try to feel. and the "area" in my head that feels conjested feels smaller. so now i am waiting to feel something from the areas where the cloud has lifted. i hope i recognise the feelings if/when i feel them March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
LexAnger Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 hallelujah! What great news! So happy you are seeing improvement. Hope and encouragement follows from here even its tiny! Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Very glad to hear that. You are on your way to recovery. It will only get better and better You'll see! I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Laura1981 Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Yaaaay! A window!!! Keep them coming! Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
akakoom Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 hi everybody yes i think it was a window! for the first time in 7 months my brain felt kinda normal. out from under the pressure of the hangover. it happened at work. as soon as i felt it i dropped what i was doing and went to my office and posted. unfortunately it didnt last long. only about 5 minutes, and it was back to the static feeling of pressure i am feeling now. it was a relief tho. i cant wait for more of that. for the last week i have been suffering bad insomnia. i wonder if that was my brain re-arranging things in order to allow the window. my brain feels different than when i was suffering insomnia. when i was in the insomnia i felt pressure at the sides of my head, squeezing. now i feel the tingle in the T zone, I call it. from ear to ear and down through the centre of my forehead. hope i feel another window soon. right now i am going for a bikeride. maybe the exercise and fresh air helps hang in there weverybody March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Symptoms change, and yes, the brain is trying to rearrange things and get things back to normal. You had a window, which is a sure sign healing is happening for you and many more windows will come. It's not a question of "if", it's a question of "when". Take care of yourself and wait patiently. It WILL come. I'm very happy for you. I think this is something to be celebrated. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
akakoom Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 I celebrated by going over to my friends for cards. they had just gotten engaged and this was the first time i had been able to see them since the announcement. drank too much. hope that doesn't set me back March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
tgirl Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Hey ak, I hope it doesn't set to back either. There is lititure on her regarding alcohol consumption. Glad you had fun last night. I miss that, Tgirl April 2014 remeron 45mg. June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!! Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0 Currently Remeron 7.5 Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems. August 2015 down to 0.1 mg Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg. Link to comment
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