akakoom Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 going to try and get out into the world. i cant stand waiting at home for this. i joined a gym. that's 3 nights a week, and i think i will join a bowling league. hopefully that will make the winter pass a bit faster March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
LucaDiProspero Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 akakoom it's wonderful, great news! I'm so happy for you, I hope you continue recovering. Please keep us update. March 2010/ October 2010: Sereupin 30mg a day, EN 15 drops a day October 2010/ 1st November 2014: Cipralex 50mg a day (tapered to 40mg a day in August 2013), EN 15 drops a day (switched to Lexotan 15 drops a day in September 2014) Started Risperdal 1mg a day on the 1st November 2014. Stopped Risperdal on the 23 November 2014 because that day, after a short mental crysis, I suddenly lost all my emotions,desires,motivation and they not come back yet. Stopped Cipralex C/T in December 2014. Added, tapered and stopped other drugs during the following months (also a voluntary hospitalization in January 2015 for a suicide attempt)...no changes yet. I'm med free from 3rd December 2015 Link to comment
akakoom Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 brain back to full static today.things felt the worst at suppertime March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 ive noticed that most of the static and scratchy feeling is mostly gone. the fire has been gone for quite a while. but normal functionality has not returned oct 5 marked 7 completed months. i am currently a few days into month 8 March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
LexAnger Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 this is so great! Obvious speedy healing. BTW, what do you mean by 'the fire' and the 'scratchy'? Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
LucaDiProspero Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I had experienced the 'fire' in the brain sometimes...it's a migraine x 100 like there is a fight inside the head, with the brain trying to recalibrate itself. it's scary and painful. Akakoom is it correct? March 2010/ October 2010: Sereupin 30mg a day, EN 15 drops a day October 2010/ 1st November 2014: Cipralex 50mg a day (tapered to 40mg a day in August 2013), EN 15 drops a day (switched to Lexotan 15 drops a day in September 2014) Started Risperdal 1mg a day on the 1st November 2014. Stopped Risperdal on the 23 November 2014 because that day, after a short mental crysis, I suddenly lost all my emotions,desires,motivation and they not come back yet. Stopped Cipralex C/T in December 2014. Added, tapered and stopped other drugs during the following months (also a voluntary hospitalization in January 2015 for a suicide attempt)...no changes yet. I'm med free from 3rd December 2015 Link to comment
akakoom Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 my "brain on fire" never involved a headache. for me it was just an inflamed feeling like having a fever... but it lasted a couple of months March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 its hard to explain scratchy. kind of like tingling feeling, but i would only feel it undr certain circumstances. like feeling emotions March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
LexAnger Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 thanks for explaining! good they all gone now. I have been having constant firework exploding in my head with painful sparks, and sometimes it changes to long distinct long needling pain into the inner brain, soul shaking.. Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
tgirl Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 How's it going Akaoom? Hope you are well, Tgirl April 2014 remeron 45mg. June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!! Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0 Currently Remeron 7.5 Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems. August 2015 down to 0.1 mg Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg. Link to comment
KT38 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I'm one month behind you akakoom and still in the thick of it. So glad the fizzling head is gone for you. You will get through this. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
akakoom Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 never had the brainzaps. just had inflamation and cloudiness, and a kind of scratchy static-y feeling. hard to explain symptoms of the meds are mostly gone but no return of normal functioning yet. still waiting. symptoms in my signature are still in effect on the personal front things are quite bad. finding it difficult to face each day. essentially the reasons for going on the meds are still facing me. not sure if i am strong enough to face them March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 happy thanksgiving to my Canadian friends! March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
AliG Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Hi AKA. I had the " tingling " in the head. Now gone !! Also , legs - gone !! ( not legs, but pins & needles , & R.S.L. ! ) LOL ! ( Fortunately, I still have my legs !! ) Although , I did feel like " chopping " off a limb , at one point !! It was sooo bad !! How's the gym , going ? I hope you have kept it up ? Ali x Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
akakoom Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 keeping up with the gym... its been only 1 week so far tho March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
AliG Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 You're a man of few words , AKA !! All good. Keep it up ! Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
akakoom Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 still feeling the "absence" of normal feeling in the head. I have heard it takes up to a year or more to stabilize the neurotransmitters. I hope that's all that's involved... I hope there isn't any brain damage or death of brain cells. I guess only time will tell. to date its been 7.5 months. Only a couple weeks away from the 8 month mark. March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted October 26, 2015 Author Share Posted October 26, 2015 I'm noticing a bit of a change in the PSSD symptoms. i apologize for the gory details... but I am feeling erections today and it seems everything is fine below the neck so to speak. strength of erection is fine, but I am not feeling the arousal in my head. this is a change from before where i couldn't achieve an erection without manual stimulation. I have noticed the last couple of days I have been able to "think" my way to an erection, like it used to be before the SSRI PSSD. So the only component missing right now is the "horniness" or arousal/orgasm component. But I hope this is a sign of things moving in the right direction. It;'s been 8+ months so far March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
Martina23 Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Hello, I think that is great that this with your PSSD went almost 50 percent better. I think it shows that you are going the right direction. I envy you that you are already 8,5 months off the meds. I am only 3,5 months off and I am still not sure if I am able to handle this until one year off. I pray to God that I will also manage it, you dont know how lucky you are 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Hi Cam, very glad to hear your updates. To me it sounds like you're definitely improving! I wish you complete healing my friend. You will get there. One day at a time I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
LexAnger Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 I am hapy to hear more the good news about your healing! Soon you will see more of good changes until all of them click back in the right place! BTW, you mentioned in your signature you had heat rhythm problem, do you remember any details of it? I recently started having very irregular heart beat, trying to understand more by others experience. Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
akakoom Posted October 28, 2015 Author Share Posted October 28, 2015 Hi everybody, Thanks for your well wishes. I hope things are improving and I hope we all get better! March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted November 11, 2015 Author Share Posted November 11, 2015 8 months no improvement not much hope supplements: vit c 1500mg co q 10 600mg multivitamins omega3 700mg adh March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
johnson Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 What happened to the improvements with your pssd? Erections etc. Link to comment
Martina23 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Why do you want to kill yourself? You have the whole life before you. You can still make so many things. There is a little part of you which is temporarily not functioning but there are a lot of things which you still can do and where you can be good and which can also satisfy you. Do you have some hobbies? Do you have some aims? There are so many things in the world you can still do 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted November 11, 2015 Moderator Share Posted November 11, 2015 akakoom-- if you are thinking about harming yourself then we must ask you to find face to face help. This forum is not equipped to handle such situations, what little information we can offer is here: Help for those who are feeling desperate or suicidal. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted November 11, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 11, 2015 I'm noticing a bit of a change in the PSSD symptoms. i apologize for the gory details... but I am feeling erections today and it seems everything is fine below the neck so to speak. strength of erection is fine,... Three weeks ago you had some significant improvement, it sounds like you are in the typical windows and waves pattern. This is generally how recovery happens. I know how awful it is to feel better for a while and then go back to how it was before, but you will notice some improvement again, maybe even more next time, then go back again. Its like two steps forward, two steps back, then two steps forward, one step back, three forward, two back.... etc Hang in there aka, you are going to recover, its just going to take a little more time. Recovery is worth waiting for because then you will have your whole life ahead of you to enjoy. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Don't do anything to harm yourself Cam. You will get better. You recently had some windows, remember that? Windows are a clear sign of healing. You'll get better. I have been extremely confident in your recovery ever since you started writing here. That's why I always come back to your thread to encourage you. Hang in there and don't do anything stupid which you will ultimately regret later. Healing will come to you, you'll see. It's a waiting game. Best wishes and log in soon to let us know how you're doing, don't lose touch, we all care about you very much I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Pugknows Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Aka, You can do this. Focus on the improvements you've had. Mark those days you felt better on the calendar. Love, Pug January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
akakoom Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 still here still fighting still hoping... March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
AliG Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Hi AKA, What symptoms are you experiencing, now ? Hang in there. Ali. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
akakoom Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 basically whats in my sig. arousal never came back. just the plumbing worked again for a while. hasn't been back for a month or so still want to die tho. for probs unrelated to withdrawal... but withdrawal doesnt help any March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 no one ever said life was fair some people take these pills for years and never suffer any effects. i took a few and get permanent brain damage. f-uk its been 9+ months and there hasnt been any improvement. i cant live a life like this. no one deserves this f-uk pharma March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
AliG Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Hi AKA, Please read : http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1226-recovery-success-stories-from-around-the-web/ Love, Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
wdtony Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 After one 10mg Lexapro pill, it took 2.5 years to start feeling human again. At 3.5 years I was much better still... but for the first 2 years I noticed almost no improvement. Plus I had relapse-like episodes which were hell. It was agonizingly slow. Link to comment
LexAnger Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 Hi wdtony, I'm so happy that you eventually healed! Such a horrible drug! I watched a video posted from someone from Kentucky a while back on YouTube about the severe reaction to 1 pill of lexapro. It was heartbreaking. I always wanted to know if he recovered. Seeing your post here makes me wonder if that is a separate case. Hope you are completely recovered, Lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
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