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☼ strongereachday: partial success story, starting to feel normal again


strongereachday

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Hey guys, I wanted to share some hope with u. I am currently 14 months off of remeron where I did a fast 2 week taper. I have had seizure like feelings, rheumatoid swelling in fingers, extreme pain, brain fog, trouble speaking, hair loss, you name it. lately I have been feeling like im coming back to my normal stuff. I never thought it was possible but u can not give up hope. I feel like a stronger person from this experience. people talk about near death experiences making them stronger. i feel the same way about it being so close to a vegetable at times. our brains are so RESILIENT. believe in the power for it to heal cuz it will. no doubt about it. feels like coming out of prison into the outside where there is sunshine and green grass. u will eventually live life again and be so grateful for how u feel.

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  • Administrator

Thank you, strongereachday. I'm going to move this to Introductions -- yours will be a success story soon, I'm sure.

 

I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol



to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories when you are completely healed.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thank you, stronger. I needed to hear this right now!!

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I needed this, too!

*I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience
**Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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Thank you for this positive post! :)

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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  • Administrator

Stronger, how have your symptoms changed since you've been off Remeron? Which was worst and which went away first? Did you do anything to support your recovery?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Alto, I have had many symptoms. the worst being intense rage, and brain fog. when I first got off I felt like I was constantly under adrenaline and anxiety. I had lost hair, lost the color in my face, dry skin. I even had an incident of bone deformity that accompanies rheumatoid arthritis. I only had one swelling in the beginning, but my fingers are now slightly permanently deformed. I had severe digestive issues, seizure like episodes, and muscle spasms. also parkinsons like shaking and jerking. insanely severe depression. my symptoms have changed. the ones that have gone away almost completely are muscle pains, parkinsons shakes, seizure like episodes. I still have some bad anhedonia, and brain fog. ive still got a long way to go. but around 8 months I started experiencing some pretty good waves. now that im on month 15 every few weeks I have very intense windows where I can literally feel myself healing and feel the joy in life that I forgot was there. my concentration has gotten better in many ways. I still have a ways to go, but my windows are very encouraging and I know itll only take time to get better

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Alto, as for what has helped me: time has been the best tool. also lowering my stress and moving back in with my parents. I have been either unemployed or working part time because I tried full time work during withdrawal and it was difficult. I have also taken b vit. d vit. magnesium and fish oil. not sure how much these have helped but I have read that they. as for exercise, I have only done walking, because intense exercise can sometimes destabilize me. but lately I have been able to do more intense workouts without problems such as ice skating. another big thing is hanging out with friends and doing fun things to keep my spirits up. and sometimes when im having fun ive noticed my brain fog fades. although we tend to isolate during this experience, I think its very helpful to be with friends and get out.

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Fantastic

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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LOVE IT! cant wait to write my success story one day

Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant  30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently.  using zantac as needed.  Benzo is currently 0.10mg 

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thank you stronger each day! I keep telling myself my brain will heal!!It helps me to know someone else beleives that too!!!

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Good news and with so much improvement so early on I am willing to bet you make a full recovery.

Paxil 10mg 2004-2011

7.5mg 4months

5mg. 4months

2.5mg.8 months no wd issues

Dropped pax 4-10-12

5-9-12 started prozac to alleviate symptoms (no relief)

5-22-12 reinstated paxil 2.5mg

5-28-12 5mg pax (couldn't tolerate sides)

6-22-12 Pax 2.5

6-30-12 Pax O

Cerebrolysin to help with wd at 29 months. Horrible decision much worse.

Still suffering sever Brain fog, Confusion, slow thinking,And just feeling sick and weird (hard to explain),facial twitching, weakness, shaking and jerking

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  • Administrator

Thank you, stronger. You seem to have a lot of wisdom about taking care of yourself. Thank you for joining our community.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 1 month later...

hi guys. ive been off remeron for 16 months now. made a lot of progress. nowhere near the pain I was in a few months ago. all my mental faculties and emotions are starting to improve. nowhere near healthy pre-drug me but definitely a manageable me. the biggest problem im having right now is a severe unrelenting insomnia. been going on about two months now. the weird thing is it came out of the blue. im not stressed more than usual or on a new sleep schedule or anything. ive had chronic insomnia for 3 years but the last year it has been very manageable until two months ago. Is it normal for an insomnia relapse to come out of the blue like this and will it go away? im very scared as ive been getting about one night of restful sleep a week and am starting to get really depressed? any idea why my brain is doing this? sleeping pills aren't working (don't like taking pills anyway after my antidepressant ordeal). PLEASE HELP

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Hi there. I'm afraid I don't have an encouraging success story for you, but just wanted to commiserate and tell you to hang in there. Insomnia is AWFUL, and the reason I've gotten on and off ADs and benzos twice. For me, my major insomnia spells were brought on by stressful episodes, but I had several episodes that did seem to come out of the blue after tapering off of my AD and benzo in 2013. I think I made it worse and prolonged the situation by taking benzos again. That was before I knew the evils of these drugs.

 

Wish i could be more encouraging. Hang in there.

Feb-May 2013 Took Setraline (Zoloft) 100mg for extreme postpartum insomnia. Also took Ativan (2mg-2 weeks) and Trazodone (50 mg- 1 month) for sleep. Tapered Traz, then Zoloft.

 

June-Sept 2013 Took Ativan (.5mg off and on) for rebound insomnia after stopping all daily meds.

 

Feb-March 2015 Second episode of extreme, sudden insomnia. Self-medicated with Ativan in order to sleep (.5mg-2.5mg). Started Zoloft (100mg) and Traz (100mg) again Mar 15. Spent one hellish week on Xanax.

 

Took last dose of Zoloft on Aug 3rd 2015 and holding on Traz (50mg). Planning to taper Traz after a while when Zoloft has had time to clear out.

 

 

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  • Administrator

stronger, I moved your new posts here as they further your saga.

 

Have you taken antibiotics recently? Made any big changes?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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How long were you on Remeron?

In good physical form prior to starting the 'treatment' for work-related depression

Sertraline 50 mg + mirtazapine around 20 mg for three months since early December 2014 to early March 2015, severe side effects (possible serotonin toxicity)

Abrupt withdrawal in early March 2015, leading to muscle excitability (non-stop vibration, internal tremor-like sensation, contractions (invisible), tightness, etc), walking difficulties and body dysbalance. Fatigue, especially muscle fatigue.

Reinstated for ten days at low doses in May but stopped again.

0.25 mg or less of Xanax in emergency situations

Still take a tiny dose (less than a quarter of a 15 mg tablet) of mirtazapine to sleep but I'm trying to get rid of it.

Chamomile tea and magnesium citrate (though I'm yet to find out whether they are of help)

 

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Hi stronger, I liked that you did a 2 weeks fast taper and you could endure it. I am trying to taper off more quickly myself and then I am not so afraid.

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

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Hi guys. Sorry about the late reply. Couldn't navigate where my post was. Thanks for moving it though alto. Probably a good idea to keep it on here to track progress. Alto I haven't taken any antibiotics just sleeping pills but very sparingly. I occassionaly drink alcohol socially and have an energy drink here and there. The insomnia just kind of came out of nowhere right after I had a really good window. Very scary. My brain just won't shut off. Constantly on full fuel. Raspberry I was on remeron for two years. Martina I really appreciate it. I wish you success on your taper but if I were to do it over again I'd definitely go slower to save me much grief and downregulation.

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Hello Stronger, you wrote something that after 8 months you experienced turning point. What did change by you? I ask because I am tapering 7,5 months. And I get now quite a lot of new energy and I start to love life, but with this anxiety disorders which I got in withdrawal it is still the same. How was it with your anxiety? Was it after these 8 months also better with anxiety? Was it away?

 

Martina

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

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What changed for me was my emotions started coming back I could think more rationally and sanely. The physical pains went away muscle joint pain and migraines. As for the constant anxiety rumination that has gotten better. It seems as my brain has healed my phobias have healed more too. Basically all things good have shown up more a bit at a time which shows me that the recovery process can only get better and better with time. I no longer feel the need to constantly explain and obssess about my symptoms cuz they r improving and generally manageable. Resilience is the ultimate outcome for a condition like this from my experience

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SED any chance you could put a sig up..

Great stuff on the improvement.

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

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Thank you for sharing your story and giving us all hope. I'm so glad you're steadily improving :) I also did a 20 day taper off 15 mg Cipralex but got scared of the withdrawal and reinstated 5 mg. To be honest I'm more concerned about the Flupentixol because it have me worse symptoms when I decreased the dose. But your story gives me hope, so thanks for that. You will completely recover, you are well on your way :)

I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.
Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.
Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.
Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.
Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.
December - things getting even worse.

January - unbearable suffering

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Thanks for the kind words blubalu. Nz11 I'm still not 100% on what a sig is but if it's a list of the meds I was on it was mirtazapine 45mg. for two years. Tapered over two week period. Coming up on seventeen months off the pills

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  • Administrator

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks alto. Those articles really helped. Good news guys. My insomnia has gotten much better. I'm taking zzzquil some nights which helps too. It felt as if id never sleep again. Turns out it was just a part of the windows and waves

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  • Administrator

Thanks for the good news!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey guys. Wanted to an update and hopefully get some reassurance. About a week ago I smoked some pot. About 4 hits. Had a good high. The next day and ever since I've felt extremely depersonalized and my cognitive functions are much much worse. It's pretty scary. My brain because of withdrawal is definitely not healthy enough for pot and I'm not going to smoke at all anymore. Does this go away guys I'm pretty scared? Just fyi I'm not a regular pot smoker and haven't been for many years because it makes me anxious and paranoid due to PTSD. From now on I've decided to never touch the stuff again

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Administrator

Pot scrambles your brain! Some find this a plus, not so much for folks with withdrawal syndrome. You'll be okay.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Not a new feeling of course but lately I've had a pretty bad wave and have been even more brain fogged (didn't think it was possible) I've had mild paranoia feelings nothing extreme towards my family and friends almost convinced they don't like me for simple remarks and actions that probably have no effect on them. Feels like I'm going psychotic. Probably not and even if I was I've already been through hell this past eighteen months. Anyway I'm really hoping this passes. It's very upsetting cuz I've had much worse anhedonia and can't connect with friends or family as well as before the wave. I have very disturbing anger and jealousy and over thinking. I've actually had people ask me to repeat myself cuz I may say something rather strange and it is so frustrating and makes me feel crazy. I hate this so much

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Totally get it and you are not alone. I am 3 years off and going through this right now. I overthink everything and think things that arent true etc. I also am having memory problems. It comes and goes, hang in there

12 year on Paxil 20mg. Dropped to 5mg a few years before weaning, Was on 5mg weaned over a few months and then went off Aug 15, 2012. Severe withdrawal started Nov 2012 and have been slowly recovering. Have had all physical symptoms especially muscle, immune and food sensitivities!

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I think pot is hit or miss for people. Some find great relief from anxiety and tension and it can help with mood. Others like myself even before WD would get very paranoid and very rarely get a good experience. However I do believe that marijuana can have amazing benefits but it depends on quality and what strain is used. Some strains have extremely low THC which is what gives you the head buzz and is psychoactive. I know it can be way safer than people using pain meds and in some countries its used more than chemotherapy. However for people new to WD I think it wouldn't be a good idea. Just my personal opinion

Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant  30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently.  using zantac as needed.  Benzo is currently 0.10mg 

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Yes, yes and yes. Can relate to this.

2013-July 1st Citalopram 20mg ()

2013-August 19th ended Citalopram cold turkey

med free.  (Took them for 7 weeks)

 

When I was a child, I spoke as a child,

I understood as a child, I thought as a child;

But when I became a man,

I put my childish things away.

 

- 1 Corinthians 13:11

 

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Thanks for the replies guys. I've been really scared. I think the symptoms caused by pot r starting to fade away. Much better than a couple weeks ago. It really messed me up. Used to smoke pot a couple years ago and be just fine but not anymore. I agree with alto. I think it scrambles your brain if your in protracted withdrawal. Feels like I had an equilibrium that it completely disrupted. Just like everything else I think patience is key with this. I wouldn't recommend pot for anyone in withdrawal. All I can do is keep going

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to ☼ strongereachday: partial success story, starting to feel normal again

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