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Oceanrat: tapering Zoloft


Oceanrat

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Oceanrat, I feel just like you. Look into Lactium on Amazon. Also look into Bach Floral Essences. I've tried Rock Rose and it helped. I have White Chestnut on deck. These are pretty mild and benign products.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

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Thx pug!

17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now

3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014

Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent

After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg

Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks.  hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker

10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered

1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper

Still on 15mg temazapam

Start SSRI taper in jan.

current dose 40mg Zoloft 

15mg temazapam 

 

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Getting worse and worse. It would be amazing to just sit down and sleep. Am I ever gonna stabilize?? Need hope

17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now

3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014

Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent

After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg

Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks.  hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker

10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered

1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper

Still on 15mg temazapam

Start SSRI taper in jan.

current dose 40mg Zoloft 

15mg temazapam 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
oceanrat, hey.

 

i have almost zero doubt you will stabilize - if you stop knocking your nervous system around. your nervous system is fairly begging you to sit tight and make zero changes for the foreseeable future. you can't tweak your way out of this at the moment. all the ups and downs are just confusing the heck out of your homeostasis-seeking mind and body. you've made several very fast changes in the last month. every time you make any change, compensation is required. you are continually resetting the clock on stabilization. i think you went up way too fast in reinstatement - you didn't allow enough time for your nervous system to acclimate at all. i would have probably sat at 42.5mg for a good many weeks, if not months.

 

my feeling is that your higher-than-probably-needed level of reinstatement is rubbing hard on your continued benzodiazpine symptoms - activation upon activation. you did a crossover from ativan to phenobarbital in november - less than a half year ago. you described it as brutal. i have literally heard psychiatrists call this method "barbaric." straight ativan withdrawal alone threw me into all-out disaster for 4 to 6 solid months. it reduced me to nothing. little by little, i regained form, just as you will.

 

the constant energy you feel is actually ridiculously normal for where you are - revving - revving. it levels off, it truly does. it did for me, but i had to hold until it did so. when i dropped the ativan, i was on an activating dose of mirtazapine. but i couldn't touch the mirtazapine until the ativan withdrawal had calmed. choose your dose of zoloft and ride with it.

 

you were a runner? me too - a marathoner. did the road teach you lessons about pain thresholds, about when to push harder and when to pull back? about limits and when to test them? i was taught these things by the road - it always dishes the straight deal. withdrawal does the same. you need to find a pace, you need to settle into it, you need to know when to make the long hard drive and when to pull back and maintain. in a road race, you go too hard too soon and you end up limping to the finish line, wasted. withdrawal doles out the same rewards for patience and the same repercussions for impatience. insomnia-driven nights produce the same honest sweat that drips at mile 14. and as much as surviving a race OR withdrawal requires strength, they also takes an inordinate amount of patience-generating wisdom.

 

have much hope. the all-hell-breaking-loose you are dragging yourself through now is an impermanent state of being. as your brain struggles to adjust, the pendulum of windows and waves will swing wildly at first, and more gradually with time. with patience and smart tapering, you'll come out on the other end. many of the cherished things you feel you have lost will return - some of them even better.

 

hang in there, man.

 

dave

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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Thank you dave for this amazing message. I agree with everything you have said. I have been a victim of bad dr advice, poor choices out of fear and now here I am. I'm at day 23 of 75mg and not moving. Unfortunately I did go up terrified, way to fast. But I have to hold here now til I settle. Your message is very very kind and helpful! Yes I was a runner and I raced nikes at a high level for years. I have suffered so many training days, so many race days. But this journey is like no other. The physcosis I feel, complete craziness is hard to explain. But I'm clinging daily to the fact that you and others say I will eventually stabilize. And I'm not gonna be here forever. I've lost so much in this process. Now I can barely care for myself or my children and it's hard to hold on. Thx for the amazing message my friend, it means the world.

17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now

3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014

Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent

After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg

Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks.  hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker

10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered

1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper

Still on 15mg temazapam

Start SSRI taper in jan.

current dose 40mg Zoloft 

15mg temazapam 

 

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Bikes not nikes. Lol

17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now

3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014

Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent

After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg

Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks.  hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker

10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered

1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper

Still on 15mg temazapam

Start SSRI taper in jan.

current dose 40mg Zoloft 

15mg temazapam 

 

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Getting worse every minute, akathasia very bad, 20-45 min sleep per night, real delusional now. Hospital? Any hope, not well, trending down, lost scared I will end it, to crazy, sorry to deliver this nonsense

17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now

3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014

Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent

After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg

Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks.  hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker

10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered

1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper

Still on 15mg temazapam

Start SSRI taper in jan.

current dose 40mg Zoloft 

15mg temazapam 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

It's not nonsense Ocean . . . it takes a strong man to admit he's scared - I have enormous respect for that.

 

There's a thread on Symptoms and Self Care called "Alpha-Stim , Fisher Wallace , Sota Biotuner , Pons and similar devices"

that talks about cranial stimulation therapy (CES).   It's giving me my own little miracle - NO w/d symptoms from my last decrease.

 

I feel it's a better option for you to consider than updosing.  I do hope you get one of those windows back soon

 

xxx

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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So sorry ocean rat you will get through we are all here for you

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Have you tried the relaxation exercises?  When I crashed and couldn't sleep or eat, with off-the-scale akathisia, I started doing them three times a day at first, and found some benefit immediately.  My favourite was the "Just Relax" yoga DVD by David Swenson, but you can use any kind you like.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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Hi Ocean, how are you doing?

Thinking of you. Sorry things are so hard. I thought about going to hospital too because I feel so bad, but I don't think they can help and might actually make things worse. Try to rest as much as you can even if you're not sleeping. 

I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.
Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.
Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.
Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.
Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.
December - things getting even worse.

January - unbearable suffering

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THX blue, I hope you are getting some calm moments as well. So hard to be sane and attempt to stabilize with no sleep. But I'm alive today. My days have been extremely rough, it seems to have no end. I'm clinging to people telling me I will stabilize at some point.

17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now

3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014

Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent

After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg

Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks.  hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker

10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered

1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper

Still on 15mg temazapam

Start SSRI taper in jan.

current dose 40mg Zoloft 

15mg temazapam 

 

Link to comment

Have you tried the relaxation exercises?  When I crashed and couldn't sleep or eat, with off-the-scale akathisia, I started doing them three times a day at first, and found some benefit immediately.  My favourite was the "Just Relax" yoga DVD by David Swenson, but you can use any kind you like.

My mind feels so far gone, it's so delusional, on top of the akathasia, so hard to come down. Really need sleep

17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now

3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014

Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent

After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg

Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks.  hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker

10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered

1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper

Still on 15mg temazapam

Start SSRI taper in jan.

current dose 40mg Zoloft 

15mg temazapam 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Oceanrat,

I'm sorry you are still not feeling well, but you will stabilize in time. How long has it been since you reinstated? Please would you add dates to the last 4 lines of your signature, it would make it easier for us to understand your situation.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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I tried to fix it, to confused now petunia. Been at 75mg 4/2/2015. Just getting worse. Zero sleep for a long time time, akathisia out of control. Mind is really fragmenting. Every side affect you could have. Never in a million years thought I'd end up this way. Non functioning, etc etcetc

17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now

3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014

Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent

After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg

Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks.  hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker

10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered

1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper

Still on 15mg temazapam

Start SSRI taper in jan.

current dose 40mg Zoloft 

15mg temazapam 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Ocean,

 

Just checking in to see how you are doing?

 

Any improvement?

My thoughts are with you, Pal.

 

Hang in there.

 

Andy

 

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Hi Ocean,

 

are you managing to rest a little at least, if you're not sleeping?

I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.
Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.
Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.
Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.
Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.
December - things getting even worse.

January - unbearable suffering

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THX guys, no improvements, I've suffered so long now. The benzo cold turkey compromised my CNS and brain so much. This zoloft thing really really have imploded on me. U have the most supportive group around me, but they can't do it anymore. I'm just not getting any better. Hard to believe it can be this way. I'm past falling apart, I don't see how this is gonna get fixed? In the big pharma matrix now

17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now

3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014

Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent

After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg

Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks.  hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker

10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered

1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper

Still on 15mg temazapam

Start SSRI taper in jan.

current dose 40mg Zoloft 

15mg temazapam 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

It will improve, Ocean, but it will take some time (maybe a lot) and you will need to try to develop as many coping mechanisms as you can.  Finding the things that calm you as much as possible and distract you from your symptoms will be really important.  As others have said, being gentle on yourself and having self-compassion is essential.

 

You will get through this.  Hopefully, you will have a good patch shortly.

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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I don't know how to explain this process. 4 hours a sleep per week, walking all day and night with akathisia, I never stop moving, but I'm so exhausted. I've been thru a lot in my life, raced motorcycles for years, raced bikes, long distance running, etc. This is just bizarre and cruel. The terror of panic type anxiety, terror 24/7. I've lost any idea of who I was? Sorry to be a downer and rant. Headed to hospital prob today. Family can't take care of me any longer and just want me better. Physcosis, every side affect I seem to have. Anyone else this far gone from this crap and come back???

17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now

3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014

Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent

After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg

Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks.  hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker

10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered

1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper

Still on 15mg temazapam

Start SSRI taper in jan.

current dose 40mg Zoloft 

15mg temazapam 

 

Link to comment

'Lost any idea of who you were'..I've certainly experienced this but you will come back :)

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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I might have to reinstate benzos to get any relief at this point.

17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now

3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014

Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent

After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg

Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks.  hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker

10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered

1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper

Still on 15mg temazapam

Start SSRI taper in jan.

current dose 40mg Zoloft 

15mg temazapam 

 

Link to comment

Best wishes to you. Xx

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Ocean,

 

You need to do what is right for you and if you feel like you are in danger then the hospital might be the right place for you.  Given that you are communicating with us clearly (even if you are struggling) "psychosis" is probably not the right term -- you don't seem to have a real break with reality.  You are suffering from dp/dr and it's a horrible, awful feeling but it's not psychosis.  I would never try to talk you out of the hospital but the only thing they will do there is sedate you with benzos or similar.  I don't have any great suggestions other than suggesting you something calming for you, perhaps water therapy in the form of a bath or shower?

 

Hope you improve.

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

Link to comment

Ocean, I'm also suffering greatly at the moment. What do you think will happen in the hospital? I posted a thread in the symptoms and self-care section of the forum about hospitalization, take a look at it. Hospitalization is not recommended and people have had bad experiences and no relief of their symptoms. I thought about going to hospital too because I've been feeling so ill, but I'm scared they will mess me up even more. So I'm trying to hold on and try to survive in this hellhole one hour at a time. It's so hard, definitely the worst and hardest thing that has happened to me in my life. I'm with you and thinking of you. Do your best to keep your spirit up even if you feel like ****. There is hope for recovery, but it may take a long long time. There's no way around this. The only way is through it. Our CNSs have been severely messed by the meds, I was also polydrugged, up but they will recover - in time. Time is the key here. It's our best friend. Every day that we survive is one day closer to recovery. 

I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.
Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.
Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.
Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.
Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.
December - things getting even worse.

January - unbearable suffering

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Hi Ocean

 

So sorry you are suffering so.   I had a bad spell a couple of weeks ago where my mind and body were racing away but I felt so tired. Almost like jet lag only worse. I am just now feeling like things are improving. Yes, things can improve - we have to fight our way through it I am afraid.

 

Are you able to eat anything?  Drinking plenty of water?

 

Have you got any techniques to calm yourself down? 

 

I agree with the others that you may be offered more drugs at the hospital which will probably complicate matters for you.

 

Sending love Flowers xxx

15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM.  MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct  temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.  JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month.  28.5 mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed.  13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize  1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at  50 mgs at night.  Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and  Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. 

XANAX  Jan 27  - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover.   Feb 14 2019  Updosed Xanax by .0625  Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily.  Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. 

Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM  20mg  taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE  .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm.  XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night.  LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight.  SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm.   7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm.  2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19  .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg  x 2. 23.1.20  .23 mg x 2.  20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20  .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2.  18.6.20 .11mg  x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2.  2.12.20 .06 mg x 2.  8.1.21 .05 mg x 2.  4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2.  7.4.21  .02 mg x 2.  9.5.21 .01 mg x 2.  21.6.21 .01 mg x 1.  11.8.21 ZERO!

 

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I'm glad you cleared that up Andy, physcosis is the wrong word, derealazation/depersonalization I guess feels that way. But yes I'm coherent and "function" just need some sleep really bad and a break! I'm so sorry you are suffering BlueB!! Some day if we all heal, I will charter a private jet and get us all on a beach. Where we can look back and laugh! Love you guys

17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now

3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014

Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent

After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg

Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks.  hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker

10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered

1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper

Still on 15mg temazapam

Start SSRI taper in jan.

current dose 40mg Zoloft 

15mg temazapam 

 

Link to comment

That break will come Ocean. Just hold on.

 

We WILL get on that beach someday - even if we are so old and have to use zimmer frames!!!

 

Flowers xxx

15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM.  MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct  temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.  JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month.  28.5 mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed.  13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize  1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at  50 mgs at night.  Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and  Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. 

XANAX  Jan 27  - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover.   Feb 14 2019  Updosed Xanax by .0625  Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily.  Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. 

Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM  20mg  taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE  .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm.  XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night.  LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight.  SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm.   7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm.  2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19  .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg  x 2. 23.1.20  .23 mg x 2.  20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20  .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2.  18.6.20 .11mg  x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2.  2.12.20 .06 mg x 2.  8.1.21 .05 mg x 2.  4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2.  7.4.21  .02 mg x 2.  9.5.21 .01 mg x 2.  21.6.21 .01 mg x 1.  11.8.21 ZERO!

 

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What a great idea! The thought of that beach will help me now when I feel desperate and hopeless. I will think of the beach. 

Here's a song for all of you :)

 

I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.
Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.
Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.
Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.
Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.
December - things getting even worse.

January - unbearable suffering

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I don't know what things you've tried, Ocean, but something I've tried recently and I think is very promising (and which has a lot of good science behind it) is InnerBalance from Heart Math.  It's .a tool to help you increase your heart coherence and heart rate variability. 

 

http://www.heartmath.com/

 

My guess is that you probably never would have considered something along these lines prior to getting off the psychotropic meds, as I can assure you I would have scoffed at this.  The silver lining in all of this is that you begin to open up some new pathways with the hope that once you have completed your journey you have grown as a person and understand there is a greater deal of interconnectedness between all things.

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

Link to comment

Hi Ocean,

 

Very sorry that you are going through so much! Just want you to know that you are not alone. Counting each minute is how I am getting through each day as well.

 

I agree with blue about going to hospital. If you really feel the urge to go and that helps with your feeling, just do it for that purpose only, but be firm not getting any other psyc drug into your system. I went to hospital once for comfort knowing that no one can do anything to help and that I would not take any drugs they give me, actually felt better after the visit.

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Apace looks interesting..but pricey! Ouch.

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

Link to comment

We actually have a pretty amazing hospital here where I live that they can maybe knock me out for a few days, it's pretty nice. You can self admit, decent rooms, etc. I have to stay alive for my boys. I'm breaking up to bad

17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now

3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014

Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent

After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg

Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks.  hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker

10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered

1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper

Still on 15mg temazapam

Start SSRI taper in jan.

current dose 40mg Zoloft 

15mg temazapam 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Apace looks interesting..but pricey! Ouch.

 

Not inexpensive but cheaper than the whole private jet thing Ocean was talking about!  :P

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Apace looks interesting..but pricey! Ouch.

 

 

Not inexpensive but cheaper than the whole private jet thing Ocean was talking about!  :P

This is a true story! I take the exact same supplements as you, minus valarien.

17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now

3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014

Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent

After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg

Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks.  hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker

10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered

1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper

Still on 15mg temazapam

Start SSRI taper in jan.

current dose 40mg Zoloft 

15mg temazapam 

 

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How's it going today, Ocean?  Any good news to report?

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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