Oceanrat Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 2:30pm my time, I'm in terrible terrible shape now, so out of touch with reality, I guess it's dissociation? Derealazation? Whatever it is I'm very scared now. Don't know where to turn? Go to hospital, physc place and get oly drugged out of my marbles? Any suggestions??? 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 It's really really awful but it will pass..it will. 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 It's really really awful but it will pass..it will. 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 I feel like u have messed myself beyond reality! Day 6 of 75mgs, I know I went up to fast, but I was doing terrible at 37.5, searching for sanity and relief. I don't see it passing 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 I meant I have messed myself up, reality is really bad now 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted April 7, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 7, 2015 Ocean , do you think it's worse overall than a week ago. I know that's hard when every minute seems an eternity. When it's really scary try to give your mind anything else to do ... it's a matter of time till this craziness settles down. 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Songbird Posted April 7, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 7, 2015 took a very slow walk with my dog,it's not much coming from a guy who ran 75 miles a week, but it's a start..I even managed to eat for the first time in awhile. I'm so stuck on the fear, the negative, the shame, anger, resentment etc. Gentle walking is great, see if you can do it each day, it doesn't have to be fast or for long, this kind of gentle exercise helps the nervous system to regulate itself. Being able to eat is also a good sign. Try to keep in mind that all the negative and weird stuff you are feeling is just withdrawal, it is not you. I gave my negative doomy thoughts a name (I called mine the "doomcloud"), so you might want to choose a name you can use to help you to separate this stuff from your real self in your mind. I found this made it easier to stand back in my mind and observe the negative stuff going on ("oh, there goes the doomcloud again with another doomy thought") and not to identify with it or get so involved in it. I hope that makes some sense. A trick for sleep is to not try to sleep (which can cause pressure and anxiety). Instead tell yourself you are just going to rest for a while. You could also try some relaxation exercises, which can sometimes bring on drowsiness. Hang in there, derealisation feels weird but won't hurt you. As Fresh said, try to distract yourself, and give it some more time. 2001–2002 paroxetine 2003 citalopram 2004-2008 paroxetine (various failed tapers) 2008 paroxetine slow taper down to 2016 Aug off paroxetine2016 citalopram May 20mg Oct 15mg … slow taper down2018 citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg 18 Nov 3.8mg 2019 15 Mar 3.6mg 21 May 3.4mg 26 Dec 3.2mg 2020 19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg 2021 29 Aug 2.4mg 15 Nov 2.3mg Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 I'm not sure if it's worse then a week ago, I was unraveling rapidly, it's hard to track, Cuz time is in stand still. I so badly want a break for a couple straight days. The insanity in my brain is just ludicrous. Very difficult when you feel this way to stay positive. The negative, the panic, the terror just seem to be so constant and overwhelming 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 I know it's a guess, but day 7 now of reinstating to 75 mg, had good windows yesterday, today is back to looney tunes, this out of touch with reality, flooded with terror and panic, out of touch bad again. Does it end? How long does it take when u updose that much, from a massive crash. Looking for hope. Really struggln to stay sane 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 Not seeing light at the end 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Songbird Posted April 9, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 9, 2015 Having some good windows is a good sign. It can be up and down for a while on the way to stabilising. Hopefully you'll get some more windows soon. 2001–2002 paroxetine 2003 citalopram 2004-2008 paroxetine (various failed tapers) 2008 paroxetine slow taper down to 2016 Aug off paroxetine2016 citalopram May 20mg Oct 15mg … slow taper down2018 citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg 18 Nov 3.8mg 2019 15 Mar 3.6mg 21 May 3.4mg 26 Dec 3.2mg 2020 19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg 2021 29 Aug 2.4mg 15 Nov 2.3mg Link to comment
LexAnger Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Hi Ocean, just say hi. Very sorry about the bad hit and that you are suffering that much! I totally get how you feel. You are not alone and will get lot heal and support here. You may want to read as much as possible the relevant topics and posts while hanging for stablizaing at the current dose. It's a very completed and scary situation but once you have a good understanding, you will feel more calm and know the best way to handle and take care. Unfortunately that's part of the process to heal eventually. Hope you get more windows, Lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 Thx lex, for the support. People here are simply amazing. I have had much much better days lately! I'm greedy though, I want my brain back 100% asap. Haha. Just not gonna happen, so I'm taking my small improvements as signs of an upward trend. Amazing what these drugs can do to you. I never thought in a million years, that this would happen to me. But I'm looking for some positives in this journey. I know it's gonna be a long road ahead. But I will win my battle and help others when I heal, Cuz I will heal! Sleep is really helping, I hadn't slept in WEEKS, literally. I couldn't stop moving. But 4 days now, I've gotten 7-9 hours of mixed up sleep, but I got it! My anxiety and stuff is still high, but the terror and doom floods have subsided. Love you guys! 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 If I hadn't found this site, I might not be alive today. FACT. Nothing but gratitude to all of you. By the way "Fresh" is an angel, who checked on me daily! What a remarkable human being she is!! 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
LexAnger Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Hi Ocean, I can totally relate how you feel! I used torun, bike, hike, swim etc everyday, now I have to carefully monitor amount of exercise I do regularly. It's a big loss and very depressing thing for me as that's part of core. Anyway, I learned over years to understand, then accept and live with it. I love your positive altitude and determination. That was how I was thinking couple years back just starting the plan of getting off. I learned so much here from everyone and tons of very comprehensive topics only that I did not learn all the good thing early/quick enough so was still kind of a trial and error process. Thats why i suggest you to read as much as possible before any major actions. One other thing, it seems very true every individual case is so unique so following any other particular example is kind of risky. 360 degree research and advise is what it takes. On the other hand, this also means you could be one of the luckier ones Hope you sleep continues improving and everything else goes in the right direction. Lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Songbird Posted April 14, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 14, 2015 Sleep is really helping, I hadn't slept in WEEKS, literally. I couldn't stop moving. But 4 days now, I've gotten 7-9 hours of mixed up sleep, but I got it! My anxiety and stuff is still high, but the terror and doom floods have subsided. That's really great news, some significant improvements - hope you get lots more improvement very soon! 2001–2002 paroxetine 2003 citalopram 2004-2008 paroxetine (various failed tapers) 2008 paroxetine slow taper down to 2016 Aug off paroxetine2016 citalopram May 20mg Oct 15mg … slow taper down2018 citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg 18 Nov 3.8mg 2019 15 Mar 3.6mg 21 May 3.4mg 26 Dec 3.2mg 2020 19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg 2021 29 Aug 2.4mg 15 Nov 2.3mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted April 14, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 14, 2015 Ocean , I'm delighted that you're seeing big changes. And thankyou for your appreciation. Pay it back , pay it forward , we're all in this together. xxx 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 Heavy wave late last night and today, trying to stay positive. I could do without these floods of panic, flooded out of the blue with terror surges. So brutal, makes suicidal thoughts rapid, so much self doubt in these MASSIVE waves. I'm gonna be like this forever? Three positive days, then back down to square one. Thx for letting me vent and rant. What a cruel piece of suffering! I really tripped the wire, without knowing the slow taper, now stuck in obscurity.... Just want my broken brain back.. Love you guys 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
LexAnger Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 So sorry ocean! This happened to me to last year up and down in short time interval, hurt badly with strong and untypical symptoms. Looking back, it was the brain got out of breath catching up constant and quick changes and lots parts of it got affected. I eventually had to hold on to the dose I was at touching it out by not I trouncing more charges. It took me 8 months to see some of the symptoms lessening. Was it the 75 mg you were on during the initial taper that you feels ok? If so, you may want to stop here now waiting for stablization before a much slower taper. It may take a while but eventually it gets better giving enough time. This is solely based on my similar experience. It seems consistent from many others that big and quick change can pose the biggest challenge and cause more symptoms. Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 I started my taper from 100mg, I got down to 37.5 in 6 weeks, all holy hell broke loose, so I went back to 75 mg about 12 days ago. My brain has been thru a lot with the ativan withdrawl. I never thought it could get worse then that, but this is a whole different level of kookooville! Living in a fun house, minus all the fun! I was a very athletic, successful guy, now I feel like I am stuck here forever. People have no clue, the world keeps moving and we stay in a slow snail pace suffer fest. 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Songbird Posted April 15, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 15, 2015 It feels like it will be forever at the time, but it won't be. It's hard to give a time frame as it is very individual, but I would say most people feel some significant improvement within a few weeks, though it can take longer to fully stabilise. It is normal to be up and down for a while, so try not to freak out if you have a bad day after a couple of good ones. 2001–2002 paroxetine 2003 citalopram 2004-2008 paroxetine (various failed tapers) 2008 paroxetine slow taper down to 2016 Aug off paroxetine2016 citalopram May 20mg Oct 15mg … slow taper down2018 citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg 18 Nov 3.8mg 2019 15 Mar 3.6mg 21 May 3.4mg 26 Dec 3.2mg 2020 19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg 2021 29 Aug 2.4mg 15 Nov 2.3mg Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 The heavy dp/dr stuff, plus the flooded terror are my biggest hurdles. Being this out there in your own body is rough 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Yes, was there the last few days..so sorry but you've had good days these will come again. 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 Sorry you are in pain too, I wish I could take it away!! I hate seeing people suffer. Big hugs from windy california 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Thanks very much. Hugs back to you. 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Flowers Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Hi Oceanrat I had to updose after a too quick taper last December recommended by my ex Dr!.I was very ill and it took me a few weeks to feel any great benefit and I wasn't like I was before i started the taper. For about a month or so I felt so much better more like my old self. Just lately I have not been doing so well. I guess this is what they call windows and waves! Having had some relief it gives me hope that I will get some good days again. No day is ever the same. We must always hope that tomorrow will be better. So sorry you are suffering and hope things settle for you soon. Hang in there as you say! Flowers x 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 What a journey, we have chosen! I hope you continue to feel better, maybe go see the Vuelta a spaina in September ! Haha 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Flowers Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 La Vuelta ! Yes, it's very exciting. Are you a fan? Not sure if you will get it on TV in California! I actually had quite a good day today but how long will this last?!! Hope you are feeling better too. Flowers 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 18, 2015 Author Share Posted April 18, 2015 Yes! I raced bikes for years. I do get the vuelta on a special sports package here! I'm glad you have had some good days. I have been doing better also! 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Flowers Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Wow - you must be very fit! Glad you are doing OK at the moment. I'll look out for your posts. Flowers 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 I never raced at pro level, but I used to be very fit. 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 I just jinx myself when doing well. What a ride, awful last night and today. Flooded with panic, terror, I guess cortisol surges? Don't really know what to call it, except lame. Staying positive when life has stopped is really rough. How to cope when flooded, my waves seem unbearable. Always the same, flooded with surging rushes of constant panic, intrusive doom thoughts, insomnia, ugh. Just venting, THX for the connections 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted April 19, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 19, 2015 At least now you can have confidence that they pass Ocean. They do every time. You'll be back on the golf-course before you know it. 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 Also, if another person tells me "you have to just be positive" I'm gonna croak! I agree 100% in positive thinking, reading etc. But peeps have NO CLUE WHAT we live with or thru. I literally had someone close to me tell me "I know how you feel, I have been battling migrane headaches for years". I almost keeled over. I just gave them a hug and smiled 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 I just want stability and normality! The downs feel so much stronger then the Ups. Always feel like I'm back to square one 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Pugknows Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Oceanrat, I'm having butt twitches now. I'm trying to time them to the beat of my cortisol surges. How's that for positive? January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
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