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KT38: Quit Zoloft after 3.5 weeks - dizziness/sea sick, agitated, etc...

KT38

By KT38
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JanCarol Contributor

JanCarol

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Hey KT - you conquered the Toys R Us Trip

Your daughters scan came back clean (TERRIFIC NEWS!)

And you're starting to have windows!

 

You're not out of the woods yet - but I think you're beginning to see the light.

 

Keep on keeping on - be kind to yourself.  Remember, gentle, it's okay to push yourself, but it's okay to stay safe, to protect yourself from sensory overload while you are healing.

 

Maybe try a little Qi Gong - 7 minutes won't hurt you!

 

I hope you see the sun today.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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KT38 Newbie

KT38

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Thank you! I will try that!

Has anyone had spells where it feels you suddenly came down with the flu? No fever or body aches, but just an overwhelming sick poison feeling all over and then all your symptoms get worse because now you are worried you have some real illness.  Here are my other symptoms since this whole thing started (I copied this from someone else on a different site because it describes me to a tee):

 

1)Helium head. It feels like there is gas being pumped in my head. Makes me feel under the influence of something constantly. Sometimes feels like my head will float off.

2)Head pressure or I can describe it as airplane cabin pressurizing feeling in my head. Cycles daily in strength but is never gone.

3)Electric current feel vibration in my brain. My brain activity is always charged out of control from it and out of my control as it's from the physical not psychological stance.

4)Rapid thought process like a computer always flipping screens. Constant.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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KT38 Newbie

KT38

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Wonderful nausea is back.  It goes from the morning until about 2pm everyday.  It's been a week.  I have no idea how I only had this my  first weeks off, completely go away, and then come back 8.5 months later.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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KT38 Newbie

KT38

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My 6 yr old daughter's cancer has come back.....it is in different spot and form and it untreatable.  I am beyond devastated.  I need to see if there is anyone who has gone through something so traumatic while in withdrawal.  How am I supposed to get through this while potentially watching my daughter pass away? 

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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Fresh Newbie

Fresh

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KT , I'm so sorry. I don't really know what to say.

You will get through this as you've gotten through every day , every moment since this nightmare started - one hour at a time.

 

You'll continue to have fluctuating symptoms like nausea , head pressure , electric current vibration sensations (akathisia). They'll vary in intensity and length. Remind yourself that every episode that comes passes when you wait it out.

 

You might consider talking about your withdrawal with the social worker on your daughters' treatment team. They should understand why your ability to cope with this situation is compromised. You're going to need to muster all the support you can get for the coming months.

 

When you're well enough you might contact a support group for parents' dealing with their childrens'

terminal illness.

What do you have in the way of support at the moment?

 

.

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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keepinghope Newbie

keepinghope

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KT, I just read your story, I'm so so sorry that you're having to go through the worst thing that can happen to a parent while also trying to cope with withdrawal.

You will get through this, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other.

 

Second Fresh's idea of contacting a parent support group, like this forum, it can sometimes help just knowing you're not the only one coping with something as devastating as this, and being able to talk to others in a similar position.

 

I don't know if you'd be up to the idea of counselling right now or if this will be in any way helpful, but I can recommend Baylissa Frederick - she's a counsellor who also has experience in withdrawal, I've found her videos really helpful but she also does consultations via Skype or telephone - her website is www.recovery-road.org if you wanted to look her up. She has a very kind, compassionate way about her. You can also find her on Facebook as Bloom in Wellness.

 

Thinking of you x

2002 - Prescribed fluoxetine 20mg for mild situational depression and anxiety. Over the years also briefly swapped about on citalopram, sertraline and venlafaxine during poop out. 2012 - Cold turkeyed fluoxetine. Within 3 months was suffering from aggression, anxiety, panic attacks and paranoia. GP put me back on tablets as I was 'relapsing'. I didn't know anything about WD then. Jul 15 - Wanted to quit fluoxetine again so tapered off (skipping doses) over 6 weeks under advice of GP. Aug 15 - Last fluoxetine dose end of August 2015. Dec 15 - Had my first real crash after discontinuing. Found this site. Aug-Dec 16 - Signed off work because of a herniated disc & severe sciatica. Prescribed diazepam (took for 6 days and got WD symptoms on stopping; nausea, morning cortisol spikes, anxiety, anger) and codeine which I was on for 4 mths. Can confirm - opiate WD is nasty but nowhere near as bad or prolonged as SSRI WD!
Withdrawal symptoms have included: extreme anger and irritability, lethargy, depression and weepiness, anxiety, stomach upsets, loss of appetite, excessive sweating, muscle and back pain, insomnia, cortisol surges, akathisia, inability to cope with stress.
Things that help: herbal tinctures (rose, lemon balm, chamomile and skullcap), seaweed baths & epsom salt baths, fish oil and magnesium.

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KT38 Newbie

KT38

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I truly think I destroyed my CNS and all the wiring in my brain.  Who takes an SSRI for a week CLEARLY showing you cannot take it and then 5 weeks later goes and tries more for 2 months going up and down in dose and changing them out?  I blew my CNS after 1 pill and then all of these on top of them literally destroyed me.  I am sitting here with electric current running through my body and brain and emotions dumping through my body.  I am literally going insane I can't keep up with this.  It is like horror running through my body.  Do you think I destroyed myself for adding more SSRIs to this reaction? I am in month 11 now and going through a horrible horrible wave.  Two weeks ago I was baseline horror and was able to drive 7-10 miles and go to a toy store, clothes shopping and get lunch all by myself all alone (best window yet!) and now I'm crippled with crazy feelings through my body.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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apace41 Contributor

apace41

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Do you think I destroyed myself for adding more SSRIs to this reaction?

 

Destroyed yourself?  Absolutely not.  Slowed the recovery.  Perhaps.

 

You had a great window not that long ago.  Now you are in a wave.  As you know, that is the pattern of recovery for most people.  Your brain will heal.  It will just take time.  It sucks and it's really hard to be patient in this kind of situation, but I am confident that you have not destroyed your brain.  Your CNS has been rendered very fragile from all of the meds and withdrawal, but you will recover, KT.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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AliG Newbie

AliG

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Posted

KT.   You haven't destroyed your CNS.  The brain and body is extremely resilient , and is always heading towards healing.  The fact that your symptoms are so changeable , so quickly, shows this to be true. It's the " windows & waves" pattern of healing .

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Video:  Healing from Antidepressants:  Patterns of Recovery

 

Ali 

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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KT38 Newbie

KT38

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Thank you! I feel like a newborn baby with intense doom all over my body and the scariest is when I feel so agitated I feel violent.  This HAS to someday correct itself.  It is so unnatural and very very scary.  I'm like at 10 months off I didn't think it could still be so intense!!!

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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apace41 Contributor

apace41

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Katie,

 

Your CNS has been under tremendous amounts of stress in the past year and, even more to the point, in the past month.  Our mind and body are inextricably linked.  Given what you are going through, it is not surprising that you are having a difficult wave which has largely coincided with the news regarding your daughter.

 

If we could all go through withdrawal in a vacuum and not deal with the real world at the same time, we would all heal a lot faster.  Unfortunately, that is not how it works.  All you can do is try to minimize the stress levels to the point you can.  When you are in a life-altering situation that may be more of a fantasy than reality.

 

We are all here for you,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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KT38 Newbie

KT38

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It feels like I am being lightly tazered 24/7 for 10 months now. Just inhumane.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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leahy Newbie

leahy

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It is inhumane. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I, too, have been sick for over a year now. It's makes everything very, very difficult to deal with. Praying for you.

 

Hugs,

Leahy

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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legan Newbie

legan

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It seems we are the same . But im only two months off . I had the adverse reaction . But continued taking it for two months . Im suffering two .

 

No body understand us . IM trying to accept it as a disease .

 

I thin we have been destroyed . And healing will take years to happen .

 

Better to read success stories

Alcohol for 10 years then benzo for 6 months to help with alcohol then psychosis , and took esctiolpram 20 mg and sulipride 200 mg . quit date 17 -12 -2015

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joannatm Newbie

joannatm

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Posted

Hi KT how you feeling lately? Also how is your little girl doing? Any news? I'm still have waves and windows and lots of negative thoughts and outer body experience. I presume it's still the WD bit it could just be my mental health.

 

Hope you well.

 

Jo x

May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals.

December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child.

January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much.

July 2010 taper off within a month.

Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still.

Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg.

December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.

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KT38 Newbie

KT38

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I am very bad. I think something very bad happened to me by taking all those SSRIs so close together. The electric current through my brainstem is unreal coupled with the mental akathisia.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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joannatm Newbie

joannatm

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Posted

Your chemicals need to settle down. You got a lot on your plate too doesnt help how u feel xxx

May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals.

December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child.

January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much.

July 2010 taper off within a month.

Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still.

Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg.

December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.

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KT38 Newbie

KT38

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Went to EPCOT on Sat with the family (we live an hour away).  It was an ultimate test.  I was going in and out of extreme nervous anxiety...I rode the Spaceship Earth ride and guess what?  As the doors shut to the slooooooooow moving vehicle I was in I had a PANIC ATTACK!  Heart palps, etc... I haven't had one in 1 year.  It was dark and everything and NO ESCAPE.  I breathed through and got through it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I used my sweatshirt to breathe into since I didn't have  paper bag. But, then I was in my baseline H3ll right after.  What I wouldn't give just to have panic attacks again, at least I know I can just get through them.  This adverse reaction/withdrawal stuff is the most horrific thing on the planet.  One year ago there is NO WAY I would have even attempted Disney, but Sat I did.  It's wasn't awesome, but I did it.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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joannatm Newbie

joannatm

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Posted

Like you said you did it and that's a massive step hun. I am so pleased for you dear. Let's hope it onwards and upwards. I've had two kinda good weeks but can feel a wave creeping in yesterday and today so trying to keep busy and focus on its not me. Can't believe neatly a year off. X

May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals.

December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child.

January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much.

July 2010 taper off within a month.

Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still.

Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg.

December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.

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KT38 Newbie

KT38

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I'm glad you are getting some windows! I have them here and there where things are not as bad, but I know I have to avoid all negativity and negative people. It pumps the mental akathisia up. I am still very upset that I can't be alone long still or go many places on my own. I am completely mentally disabled right now. My brain and body are just in chaos and I feel an electrical burn sometimes. I can't even describe this mess to anyone not in it. I hope things start to lessen for all of us. I never in a million years would have thought I'd still be so bad 1 yr later!!!! Makes me so mad I even tried these stupid meds.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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joannatm Newbie

joannatm

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But at least you try to go out that's a start. Small steps and you'll get there. Tonight I had an overwhelming thought I going to die and dread came and i panicked. I've never had thoughts like that. Awful feeling. X well get there it's just going to take much longer than we thought and a he'll of a lot of patience. X

May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals.

December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child.

January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much.

July 2010 taper off within a month.

Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still.

Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg.

December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.

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Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

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Posted

KT, are you taking fish oil and magnesium supplements, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

This can help anxiety and those electrical feelings.
 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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KT38 Newbie

KT38

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I tried both and reacted badly to both :-( 

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

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How did you take the magnesium? What happened?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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KT38 Newbie

KT38

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With fish oil, it gave me the worst akathisia.  I don't have the pacing kind, but agitated anxiety agitation with nervous system shaking/vibrations/ramping.  I tried chelated Magnesium (small dose) for 3 days and it gave me air hunger/increased anxiety and 2-3 days after stopping I felt like I had the flu.....felt very heavy, worse akathisia, muscle pain, etc.... almost like I was going through a mag withdrawal of some type.  I tried Epsom salt and I get out with internal vibrations and worse anxiety.......same with mag spray oil.  I am just a mess.  My brain and body cannot contain much more of this.  It is like my mind is going to burst with every noise, sound or breathe.  It's agitated to an extreme and I can't even care for my kids as it is so hard to even be around them with this.  It makes me rageful which I have to contain.  It's like my body is ready to burst at any second from the anxiety and agitation.  I had adverse reactions to the SSRIs/SNRIs I tried, tried Xanax, and was cold turkeyed off it all so I think everything was just too much.  My body cannot handle all of this.  I am tempted to take a Xanax at some point.  If I'm out of control (sometimes I punch the wall), I may need to.  My daughter's cancer is back and I cannot deal with both.   I am 11 months off the SSRI rollercoaster and 8 months off the last benzo.  I am trying to hold on the best I can.  I have a cold right now, so the electric head is bad and heavy as well as ramped up CNS.  Sometimes it is intense nervous energy....other times it's intense rage/fury anger along with it.  I was so fine before any of this and kick myself that just trying these meds for 2 months utterly destroyed me.  Everything (any noise, laughter, crying, even just breathing) sends horrid signals through my body like I'm going to die.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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Fresh Newbie

Fresh

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Kt , what happened when you took Xanax last time , what dose?   

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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KT38 Newbie

KT38

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Last one was late June. It was Xanax XR and I got really tired 6 hrs after taking it. It didn't do too much for the anxiety. I was just looking at agitated depression and that seems to mimic mental akathisia. I am so confused what I have but whatever it is it is bad.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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AuntieDepressed Newbie

AuntieDepressed

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Hello KT  :D

 

I am new here so I have not shared my medication withdrawal story in full yet. I have been too unwell to share it right now. I have read all your posts. My heart connected with you for many reasons. Maybe because I read all your posts at once, I sensed the desperation you have shared. This is a wonderful site full of so many supportive people, sharing withdrawing, offering hope. Knowing we are not alone empowers us as we ride the waves.  :excl:

 

In reading about your daughter, as well as your adverse reaction history, I wanted to reply. I have been through horrible withdrawal and a hell I was sure was going to overpower me. But I am still here, you are still here and all the people on this board are still here. Because we are strong, resilient and brave.  :)

 

I want to send you encouragement. I want to remind you that the waves of symptoms, are like the waves of life. When on top of the wave, we see the world in all its splendor. The gorgeous blue sky above, the crystal blue sea below and the beautiful beach on the shore. But the wave crashes, we get pulled under, we are disoriented, can't breathe and think we will never resurface. BUT WE CAN & WE DO! We take that first wonderful breath of fresh air and it feels amazing. We catch the next wave and rise to see the beauty in life again. Like the ocean waves, life is a cycle.

 

These medications are horrible to survive. Many of us try them looking for salvation, not looking for hell. A recurring theme in your posts in that you blame yourself for taking these meds. If YOU are guilty of this, then so am I, and everyone else on here. The TRUTH is that we trusted doctors to guide us when we were suffering, it is no way our fault. Stop blaming yourself. How were you to know the outcome? How were any of us?  :unsure:

 

You have had many windows and sometimes when the wave crashes, you forget those windows. You have had good days, some great days even. Hang on to those and let them be a reminder that more of those are ahead. I know you are hurting, as am I. Please know, the waves are hitting you frequently, but in time the windows will come frequently and the waves will be wash out. One glorious day, waves will be a distant memory.  :D

 

Remember self talk is powerful. As soon as I catch myself saying 'I cannot believe this, I hate this, this is brutal etc.' I yell STOP and instead say 'this is going to pass, I will get through it, I can do this'. I don't believe it, in the moment, but I know it does more good to be positive. Studies have shown that thoughts also change brain chemistry. Remember that.

 

I am thinking of you and your daughter. You need to believe in your strength because she needs you. Everyone of us on here are warriors, we are battling and we just need to remember we can do it. I remind myself that impossible actually breaks into I'M POSSIBLE. To me, this means surviving antidepressants and everything else, is possible. Sending hugs, positive energy and wellness to you!  :wub:

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crhawk Newbie

crhawk

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Hello KT :D

 

I am new here so I have not shared my medication withdrawal story in full yet. I have been too unwell to share it right now. I have read all your posts. My heart connected with you for many reasons. Maybe because I read all your posts at once, I sensed the desperation you have shared. This is a wonderful site full of so many supportive people, sharing withdrawing, offering hope. Knowing we are not alone empowers us as we ride the waves. :excl:

 

In reading about your daughter, as well as your adverse reaction history, I wanted to reply. I have been through horrible withdrawal and a hell I was sure was going to overpower me. But I am still here, you are still here and all the people on this board are still here. Because we are strong, resilient and brave. :)

 

I want to send you encouragement. I want to remind you that the waves of symptoms, are like the waves of life. When on top of the wave, we see the world in all its splendor. The gorgeous blue sky above, the crystal blue sea below and the beautiful beach on the shore. But the wave crashes, we get pulled under, we are disoriented, can't breathe and think we will never resurface. BUT WE CAN & WE DO! We take that first wonderful breath of fresh air and it feels amazing. We catch the next wave and rise to see the beauty in life again. Like the ocean waves, life is a cycle.

 

These medications are horrible to survive. Many of us try them looking for salvation, not looking for hell. A recurring theme in your posts in that you blame yourself for taking these meds. If YOU are guilty of this, then so am I, and everyone else on here. The TRUTH is that we trusted doctors to guide us when we were suffering, it is no way our fault. Stop blaming yourself. How were you to know the outcome? How were any of us? :unsure:

 

You have had many windows and sometimes when the wave crashes, you forget those windows. You have had good days, some great days even. Hang on to those and let them be a reminder that more of those are ahead. I know you are hurting, as am I. Please know, the waves are hitting you frequently, but in time the windows will come frequently and the waves will be wash out. One glorious day, waves will be a distant memory. :D

 

Remember self talk is powerful. As soon as I catch myself saying 'I cannot believe this, I hate this, this is brutal etc.' I yell STOP and instead say 'this is going to pass, I will get through it, I can do this'. I don't believe it, in the moment, but I know it does more good to be positive. Studies have shown that thoughts also change brain chemistry. Remember that.

 

I am thinking of you and your daughter. You need to believe in your strength because she needs you. Everyone of us on here are warriors, we are battling and we just need to remember we can do it. I remind myself that impossible actually breaks into I'M POSSIBLE. To me, this means surviving antidepressants and everything else, is possible. Sending hugs, positive energy and wellness to you! :wub:

This is a wonderful post Auntie. Hope you are well.

 

And I hope things are going better for you KT!

History of Wellbutrin, Neurontin, Buspar, Paxil and others in 1990's - teenage years

Xanax .5 mg as needed 2010-2015

One injection of Haldol in ER 10/9/2015 - dystonic reaction (ongoing issues)

One 50 mg pill Zoloft 10/31/15 adverse reaction/s that are ongoing

Xanax .125 mg every 3 hours as needed, .25 mg at bedtime 1/8/16-1/21/16Xanax .25 mg every 3 hours (1.25 mg/day) 1/22/16 - 2/9/16Xanax .25 mg/5 times a day (1.25 mg/day) starting 2/10/16, then tried 6 times/day (2x.25, 4x.1875)Xanax .25 mg/6 times a day (1.5 mg/day) starting 2/19/16

Tapering off of Xanax, switching to Diazepam, starting June 29, 2016, then starting taper soon there after

Completed Xanax taper early Sept 2016, crossover to 20 mg/day Diazepam

Currently at 2 mg Diazepam/day = 1 mg bedtime, 1 mg morning

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KT38 Newbie

KT38

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Thank you everyone! I am now 10 months off my last benzo and almost 13 months off the SSRIs.  I still have high brain voltage, chemical storms, high adrenaline, doom, anxiety, feel like I'm morphing into the Hulk,  I can feel everything x100000000 (just making breakfast sends horrid signals to my brain), and what feels like the bird flu or some kind of unknown disease (I get this 1-2x/week).  It kills me that I was always the one always trying to make others happy and would go out of my way to make sure people were happy and comfortable and now I'm drown in an unknown brain and body horror illness.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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crhawk Newbie

crhawk

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KT - do you feel any improvement? Are there certain things that have gotten better? Or certain periods of time?

History of Wellbutrin, Neurontin, Buspar, Paxil and others in 1990's - teenage years

Xanax .5 mg as needed 2010-2015

One injection of Haldol in ER 10/9/2015 - dystonic reaction (ongoing issues)

One 50 mg pill Zoloft 10/31/15 adverse reaction/s that are ongoing

Xanax .125 mg every 3 hours as needed, .25 mg at bedtime 1/8/16-1/21/16Xanax .25 mg every 3 hours (1.25 mg/day) 1/22/16 - 2/9/16Xanax .25 mg/5 times a day (1.25 mg/day) starting 2/10/16, then tried 6 times/day (2x.25, 4x.1875)Xanax .25 mg/6 times a day (1.5 mg/day) starting 2/19/16

Tapering off of Xanax, switching to Diazepam, starting June 29, 2016, then starting taper soon there after

Completed Xanax taper early Sept 2016, crossover to 20 mg/day Diazepam

Currently at 2 mg Diazepam/day = 1 mg bedtime, 1 mg morning

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KT38 Newbie

KT38

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Unfortunately I am not better.  If I didn't feel sooooo much alllllll day everyday I could cope.  It is like a valve exploded in my brain and body and it is just a constant flood of horror and sensations.  Any little stress makes it 10x worse and I can barely stay in my body.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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  • 2 months later...
KT38 Newbie

KT38

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My little girl passed away from brain cancer a couple weeks ago.  She was just 6 yrs old. I am really really bad right now.  It feels like my brain blew up and my nervous system is running x1000.  I used to have times where my body would slow down before going to bed, but now it's ramped.  I have never experienced a death of someone close to me but losing a child is a monster.  I just hope my nervous system can recover.  I though for sure I would need Xanax for her wake and funeral, but I fought through it.  It was the day after she died I crashed hard because the reality that she is no longer here messes with your mind.  I finishing up month 15 off SSRIs and just ventured into 13 months off benzo......I wish I could pat myself on the shoulder, but this blow is making me wonder if I will ever get better.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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scallywag Newbie

scallywag

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Oh KT, I am so sorry to learn of your tragic loss. 

 

I was amped up for several weeks after losing my partner & sweetheart to suicide. The grief gave me body zaps and insomnia. Those symptoms resolved to be replaced with emotional and cognitive symptoms. I'm better now than I was then, so my CNS must have recovered considerably.  With time yours will too.

 

I wish you safe travel along this very difficult road.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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AmyK Newbie

AmyK

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I am deeply saddened to hear about your loss, KT. Many thoughts to you in this difficult time.

Current dose: 0! Free!  Quit June 2017.

2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January

2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg

Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose.

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joannatm Newbie

joannatm

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I am so so very sorry to hear of your loss. I know you said some time back she had cancer and I did wonder only other day how you are. This is an extremely hard time for you so there's no surprises you are going through all of these emotions. My thoughts with u hun. You will slowly recover but it's going to take a he'll of a time xxxx

May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals.

December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child.

January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much.

July 2010 taper off within a month.

Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still.

Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg.

December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.

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