joannatm Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Why oh why still so crap. Had a week if bad negative thoughts anxiety. Blooming 16 months and slight change but nothing drastic gutted and sad today. X May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
KT38 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 I am being shredded alive from my nervous system, like I'm in an electrical web. I also had deep depression/doom now since my daughter passed away. I feel like with her gone now there is a flood of real emotions on top of this horror show. I am hanging on for dear life now every sec of the day. I don't know how this can get better. I really screwed myself up with these meds. I feel like I need to go on something, but what. Just to get hurt again even worse? I have what feels like toxic poison flowing through my brain and soul most days. I have met many bereaved parents and even though their suffering is not fun it is NOT on this level. I am enduring something no human being can. Please pray for me. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
joannatm Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I so feel for you hun. Ive nothing to mian about and getting these symptoms. You feel like youre going to burst. It's so unfair for you. Have you tried counselling as what you going through with your daughter maybe that kinda therapy may help. I'll pray for u x May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
joannatm Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Hi guys. Happy new year hope you had nice one mine was nice but suffered with anxiety negative thoughts. 20 months and still feeling it. X May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
KT38 Posted May 27, 2017 Author Share Posted May 27, 2017 2 years off SSRIs and coming up to 2 years off benzos and I'm still barely clinging on. I feel like my body and brain is over reactive to everything and nothing. My husband still has to stay home and work because of my condition. This is a horror show. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
KT38 Posted August 15, 2017 Author Share Posted August 15, 2017 I'm a little over 2 years off and still in this mess. Some days the toxic chemical depression and anxiety isn't as bad, but I think I sustained some serious brain damage. It's like my brain is completely off. How I'm still alive, I seriously do not know. I don't know how my own brain's electricity and moving chemicals hasn't naturally killed me yet. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
KT38 Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 Please see my signature to see what I was on. I tried these meds and got blasted. I have not had any window/wave pattern at all. My brain feels like it's a stereo taking in too much and flooding causing excrutiating mental symptoms. It's like my brain simply cannot process. This part has gotten worse. Anyone else out there protracted with this? If my son talks I feel like I need to die right this sec and I'm a bad mom and can't handle 1 thing. If I see a hole in a jacket I feel like oh my gosh how will I ever be able to fix that I should die right now. My brain is completely gridlocked and don't know what to do. I am seeing a neurologist but they are pointless. I had a filling done back in early August. They used carbocaine and 1.5 weeks after I had a 24 hour adrenaline nightmare that I never had before in my life. I was up 24 hours. It was like the med finally hit my system and BOOM! Then I had intense sensitivity in my brain and inside of my body....like someone had a dog whistle or something and only I could hear the torture (no sound, just the feeling). My brain feels like it's being gripped and screaming 24/7. I have stayed away from caffeine, alcohol and supplements to help my brain heal. Nothing has helped and am scared for my life. My little girl passed away in June of last year from brain cancer and I was not able to care for her since the reaction and promised her that mommy would get better and do everything in life for her. Now, over a year since she passed I'm getting worse??? It's like my brain is not processing and signaling right. I really feel a truly screwed myself trying these stupid meds for 1 panic attack!!!!!!! Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
coldturkmama Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Yikes, that sounds like torture. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope a moderator will be by soon to help you. Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout October 2013 quit cold turkey Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window Late November WD nightmare Windows and waves pattern Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. Link to comment
DrugfreeProf Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Me, too. I am so sorry for what you are going through and also for the death of your child. I lost a child to death, too, 10 years ago, so I know a little about what it's like. I am sure a mod will come by to help you. I wish you love, peace, and healing. Please know that there are many people out here who care about what happens to you. Drugfree Prof Psychologist and Psychotherapist Prozac 20 mg for approx 3 months during 2000, withdrew, no w/d sx Prozac 10 - 30 mg Jan. 2008 - Dec. 2014 Ritalin 30-40 mg Jan. 2008 - Mar. 2015 W/d sx from Prozac started around 3 months after cessation--crying spells, depressed mood, lethargy; resolved in 8 - 12 mos. post cessation Used and continue to use a TON of alternative methods--meditation, mindfulness, nutrition. supplements, exercise, etc. Link to comment
bheb Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 I am so sorry for everything that has happened to you. I also had the same reaction to Prozac and am feeling it still a year off. The last update in your signature describes my days exactly Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg May 2016-June 2016 15mg June 2016-August 2016 10mg October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total). early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017 3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018 June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019 Link to comment
KT38 Posted August 12, 2018 Author Share Posted August 12, 2018 I can't believe I thought this was withdrawal. Something very very very bad happened to me when I tried those pils. I am severely bad at 3.5 years off SSRIs and 3 years and 2 months off benzos. It's like my brain is hooked up to an electric rod with agitation x100000 and can't handle anything. It's like walking underwater with electricity in the brain and sometimes you can't take anything else in and go nuts in the brain. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
LexAnger Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 KT38, im so sorry your journey has been so horrifying for so long! i wonder. How your diet is. I'm super sensitive to almost everything msg, aspartame, herbs etc. with severe reaction to each since being off lexapro. god rescue you and all of us! lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
luv2knit Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 I'm so sorry, KT. A lot of our symptoms are very similar, and all I can really do is offer you support, and my condolences. I do think we will eventually get through this! XOXO Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
crhawk Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Oh KT... I checked in after so much time and wanted to check on you, and I can't believe you're still in such a horrible place. Do you have any days that are better than others??? History of Wellbutrin, Neurontin, Buspar, Paxil and others in 1990's - teenage years Xanax .5 mg as needed 2010-2015 One injection of Haldol in ER 10/9/2015 - dystonic reaction (ongoing issues) One 50 mg pill Zoloft 10/31/15 adverse reaction/s that are ongoing Xanax .125 mg every 3 hours as needed, .25 mg at bedtime 1/8/16-1/21/16Xanax .25 mg every 3 hours (1.25 mg/day) 1/22/16 - 2/9/16Xanax .25 mg/5 times a day (1.25 mg/day) starting 2/10/16, then tried 6 times/day (2x.25, 4x.1875)Xanax .25 mg/6 times a day (1.5 mg/day) starting 2/19/16 Tapering off of Xanax, switching to Diazepam, starting June 29, 2016, then starting taper soon there after Completed Xanax taper early Sept 2016, crossover to 20 mg/day Diazepam Currently at 2 mg Diazepam/day = 1 mg bedtime, 1 mg morning Link to comment
bheb Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 How are you KT? Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg May 2016-June 2016 15mg June 2016-August 2016 10mg October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total). early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017 3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018 June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019 Link to comment
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