☼ manymoretodays: off many years of many medications

[manymoretodays]

Doing okay Carmie.  Phew!  The pitfall is that now I will need a crown as well on the tooth. 

So I'm being cautious and doing most of my heavy chewing on the other side of my mouth.

I'm using straws again for my minimal coffee and more abundant herbal teas........just because........thankful that my teeth are intact still.  After noticed all those glowing white teeth of the hygienists and assistants......man, everyone is investing in whitening these days........I thought perhaps I could limit my exposure to teeth staining things.

 

No rebound anxiety from the Nitrous.  Another phhewwww!  I used tylenol with codeine(Percocet) just twice.  One whole and I got hit with nauseau pretty badly........then went to bed and slept well.  Then one half dose and no nauseau. 

And now......I think it's been a day or two since I've even taken ibuprofen.

 

I've got just a few more fall plantings to do.  Got the tickets for the live music show and am looking forward to the adventure, as well as some time with me Sun(son).

The cat is all scheduled to go to the "salon" this week too!  That'll be interesting.  And $$$$$  !!!  She needs it though and so appreciates.

Maybe camping next week if this glorious weather persists......and to the lake and reservoir beach!

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

[Carmie]

Hi @manymoretodays

 

Hope all goes well with your crown. 

 

Have fun with planting, it’s lovely looking at plants, all those gorgeous flowers and greenery. Have a nice time at the concert too, I love live music. I already have three concerts booked, the first isn’t until December though. 

 

Okay now, the lake and beach sound like my kind of places, I’m sure you’ll enjoy those. There really is nothing better than the sound of water, whether it’s a creek, a lake, the beach, rain, a waterfall etc etc. Enjoy!!

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

[manymoretodays]

Thanks Carmie.

I get a breather before any more dental work now. 

 

Doing well.  The music/concert was fun.  No seats though.  So I was in the ?"mosh pit" of the crowd.  I actually really enjoyed the opener, a one man act, with a guitar who was great!!!  People kept talking though through that performance, which bugged me........just a little bit though.

The main act was loud and I did use earplugs, a bit, as we were standing close by one of the speakers.  Loved it though.  I got a bit warm and then just tired too.........well worth it though.  Sun(son) is good!  🖤

Turned out to be a pretty family friendly venue and I did just fine.  I wish it had been outside though.

 

Busier week overall and got my swim and walking in........at home Yoga only. 

I think in honor of JanCarol's Tai Chi certification, and getting that done, we should all do a bit of Tai Chi today.

So here's one of my favorites in that regard:  And oh no......this one is Qigong but a brief and nice meditative relax.  Or it might make you laugh, that's relaxing too!

 

 

I'm still running on a bit more nervous energy than I'd like to be.........it seems to be improving though, getting better.  I just have to pace and balance, and keep my limits in check(?boundaries).  I'm tapering on the cigs a bit........that's probably the cause of my discomfort now.  Just going to hold steady on that for now.  I don't want to bite anyone's head off or anything.........I get a little crabby....😞

 

Wildfires nearby again.  Worried about some friends maybe losing their home.........they had to evacuate.  They have a camper/caravan and last I heard.......they and their dogs are parked at one of their kids places.    Hoping they got the fire under control before it got to the homes in that area.  I haven't heard the latest. 

Lot's of smoke in the air again.  Many are affected.  It gets to my eyes a bit mainly.

 

All for now.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

Edited September 15, 2018 by manymoretodays
punctuation

[peng]

14 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

People kept talking though through that performance, which bugged me........just a little bit though.

 

Yes, so rude. that!

 We were at a Rickie Lee Jones concert in Edinburgh many years ago.

When the star did a spot solo at the piano she finished one song and said "Would the little girl down there that kept talking through my song please............................"

I forget what she finished with, but I think it will have been pretty feisty.  Bet the culprit wished the ground would swallow her up!

[manymoretodays]

Thanks Peng.  You get it!

The main band did a really nice quiet piece towards the end too........and I could not believe, that someone had to yell out profanities from the balcony, just prior to the applause.

There ought to be a law, eh???!!!!

 

Oh, and I'mcurrently promoting the use of the Lalochezia! The cursing thread

It's an off topic thread.  So you have to be signed in to use it.  Sometimes we all need to let off a bit off steam, eh?  I know I do from time to time.

I like to dig in the garden too.

I might have a bit of PTS going now too.  I'm coming on up to the time........ when I hopefully, had my last hospitalization(voluntary).   Four years ago. Tapered too quickly.  I was in another phase of acute grieving, then as well.  And then I basically C/Ted  Lexapro in the hospital.  

And it really is so much better now........easier, less, oh much less in the way of W/D symptoms, and much more adeptness as managing the waves and windows of life.  My coping tools.  Support.  Etc.

 

It's a good life.

 

Love, peace, healing, and grrrrowth,

mmt

Edited September 15, 2018 by manymoretodays
added link, elaboration

[Carmie]

Hi Manymoretodays, 

 

Im glad you had a nice time at the concert. I looove my concerts! We all have things we love and it makes a good distraction when ipwe are going through withdrawals too. 

 

How is your garden going? How are you doing with the planting? There’s nothing like being in nature to get our emotional equilibrium back a little while tapering and life in general. 

 

Hope your neighbours were okay in the wildfires. 

 

You sound like you’re doing well, happy to hear it. 

 

Sending you some more sunshine your way☀️☀️☀️

[manymoretodays]

Hi Carmie,

Yes.......I'm glad I got to the concert and it was really enjoyable.  Getting back to comfort once again with the social, and am doing okay in crowds as well.  Soooo.......I've had some longer days out and about, and just getting on back to my old and somewhat new routine.  More organized.........pheww, in thoughts AND actions....... or keeping to my commitments and prioritizing a bit.  I'm wanting to do some new things........but as I know.........now.........that grief may come around again in a tough way.........even later on..........I'm just going to express interest, and put........for example, getting a paid job- on the back burner until after the first of the year at least.  The things I do on a volunteer status keep me very busy, busy enough.  AA commitments included.  And I......still........have to..........work hard........on my coping skills.........too.  To keep from overwhelm........on my autonomic nervous system dysfunction,  autonomia, if you will.  Sounds robotic........

 

I am hoping for a snowier year/winter too and some ski-ing of course.  So.......boy, if I could find a little PT gig at the resort that would be great.  Generally though, what I have found is that it is very hard to get PT work only, anywhere.  I may have to re-think it, and perhaps do some work where I do just temporary full time periodically.  Who knows?  Doing okay at present, financially,  and my health comes first.  All dimensions......mental/physical/spiritual.

 

Thursday, thursday today and oh my..........how, time flies.  I was going for green here, but it's hard to capture.  Definitely feeling the onset of fall in the cooler nights and early mornings.  I've just about got my couple of plants in.  I may hang on to the seeds that I got until Spring.  As putting the garden to bed for the winter comes to mind.  This week I'll get to community Yoga.  Yay!  And did a great walk again.  Hopefully can slip in a swim.  I've got my annual "wellness exam" scheduled, as well as another dental appointment.  And need to get in for another eye exam.  So.......a busy end of September and October looms.  I may try and write something up for my GP, before my appointment, and then give it to him.........just a summary of my health and healing now, with a few references thrown in.  He's a good doctor, I've been with him for a lot of years now.  There's some give and take there........and a lot of time constraints........as far as visits go.  An insurance thing.  It is what it is.

 

I'm so thrilled about the DSM diagnosis code and then treatment code.......it brings me to tears of joy at times........DSM Code: Antidepressants Discontinuation Syndrome

Altostrata posted this update in symptoms and self care recently.  I believe I'm a good fit for the sequelae now, and have already shared with a couple of therapists. 

 

And oops, I lost my color as I linked.  I may do a partial attendance of a grieving group.  Unfortunately, it's already underway so I'll find out more today.  I think I'm good though.  I had done one before........ after the suicide death of a dear one.  And yes, it was helpful, and also specific to the impact of that particular type of death on those left behind.  So I've got tools and knowledge that helps.  The seven emotions of grief, was something I ran across lately too.  Just a bit different or expanded on Kubler-Ross stages, and also helpful.

 

Back to lavender and hopeful for my combined vacation and trip to visit Mum soon.  I'm working on that as well right now.  It may be too cool to camp and........I may get to Sedona, AZ for the first time!  Excited about that.

 

And wow, the wildfires are getting under control.......not completely out, and the towns that were evacuated are still on evac status.  Last I heard no loss of lives or homes.  And of course thankful, for all those courageous men and women........who do the work of fire fighting.  It was a big one and a tough one.  Being controlled by air and on the ground.  So very smoky at times.  I went to the library one day this week and it was so strong.......the smoke odor.  Not so bad most days where I live.  My friends are okay.........homesick I'm sure.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

Edited September 20, 2018 by manymoretodays
took out a couple as wells, was to what

[manymoretodays]

Okay.  Happy fall equinox!  The dark begins to chase the light........

Going to just share this here:

From the perspective of exhaustion and the longing for rest, it is compassionate to seek relief from the uncertainty and to soothe an overstimulated nervous system. Honor the need for regulation and practice self-compassion. Dare to care for yourself in wild and new ways.

From the perspective of open awareness, uncertainty and aliveness are one. In the center of the shakiness is immense creativity. From within the core, there is nothing to transform, no new person to become, and no healing which must first occur before you can fully show up and participate here.

Your life is not a project to be solved, but a mystery coming into form.

While the mind may spin in the attempt to resolve the energies of being and becoming, buried inside the paradox is wisdom and new life. We need not resolve the mystery but enter into it more deeply. Inside is a primordial sort of rest, which is discovered not through the resolution of questions, but by way of intimacy with the contradictions.

Though the activity of love is infinitely tender and holding, in its essence it is everything. It is devastating as it is the end of one world, glorious as it is the beginning of another.

Matt Licata is the author of the above ^

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

[DMV64]

9 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

in its essence it is everything. It is devastating as it is the end of one world, glorious as it is the beginning of another.

Wow. This is awesome. Thank you. I really need it now as I am full of fear and feeling unable to do my work lately and teach.

[manymoretodays]

Saturday saturday...... morning.

Mum had to go on in to the hospital briefly, and get a pacemaker.  Oh......and so far, so good........she's doing well.  We're all, siblings, Mum in different states, here in the U.S.......but it's come together nicely.......her care.  Grateful that she is in a community where help is available.  And I'll be going to see her soon.  Spend some time with her.  My Mum.  Wow!  I lucked out in the great Mum department.

I'll also get my vacation in.  Looking forward to some road travel and a nice visit to a new place.

I have not seen much of my dear deer friends of late.  They are still here.......as evidenced by their droppings.  Many are getting relocated humanely........I'm a little sad......yet also happy that I could provide some refuge for them for so long.......unofficially.........and expect that they will still be around to some degree.  No bucks on the front porch lately.  I honestly thought one was going to ring the bell one day!

I was surprised this week also when my neighbors behind me did a rather large tree trim of the trees that sit between our properties.  As it all turns out........it's great.........as I have much more light on the North side that comes through the window and a spectacular view of my favorite mountain peak.  I let another deep purple balloon go not long ago.  A super helium balloon.  To help with my continued grief process around the unexpected loss of another loved one back in May.   This time I wrote a bit on it.  And it floated up and off until it seemed to settle in just below this mountain peak.......that I now can view more clearly from my back windows.  Comforting.

It's been interesting since this big tree trim to see how the bird population is faring now.  I'm glad there is still a fair amount of bigger trees, not so severely trimmed, for them to continue their year round living in........really close by........right behind my home.  I love my birds!

Betsy Ross cat is thriving as well.  She went to the salon and looks pretty super.......not quite a poodle cat look.......but ........well, interesting.  I've been trying to get her switched over to some lower cal food........it's going so, so.  She's a big girl!

Sun(son) is well.  His grandpa, my father outlaw is now back in his old room.  I think he's on hospice now too.  He's reportedly more tired and feeling a bit down now.  Less interaction now with things like physical therapy and more constant attention.  I'll pop on up to the bigger city soon.

Oooh......and busy with work.  And play.  Projects.  I think I'll do a training, and a bit of a conference next month.

Life is good.

Doing a bit of an increase with my Omega 3's.  Continued taper with my melatonin.  I snagged some more of my favorite coffee substitute, Crio Bru(and oh yum!), and am also sneaking back down, with my awful cigarette habit.  I'm not sure of my target date to quit completely.  Sometime soon......I expect.  I probably won't report much on that as it's easier to not talk about, and just do.

My herbal tea list expands, and this has been another great adventure, which I enjoy and do believe it has played a role in my healing/inrecovery status.

The food is great lately......harvest season still........and just enjoying my food preparation and eating very much.  I still do eat out fairly often as well.

So hoping for a lot of snow this year too!

All for now, best to all.

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

Edited September 29, 2018 by manymoretodays

[Carmie]

Hi mmt, 

 

How exciting you’re going on a road trip. Have fun! It’s nice seeing new places.Im glad to hear you said life is good, that makes me very happy. 

 

Yummy, herbal teas. What exciting flavours have u got at the moment? I love going tea tasting. I have yet to take omega threes or magnesium but that’s something I definitely must do one of these days. 

 

Take care n wishing you a happy day☀️☀️

[manymoretodays]

My answer to H2H asking about why I did not write a success story at one year off my last med/drug.

 

Hi Happy,

I just got records from the pharmacy not so long ago, of some of my drug history and then........was not able to get records at all from my last shrink/prescriber.  She's moved her business, and had some difficulties with her practice, from my understanding.  I think I may have enough to go on......to write something up.......sometime.  Other priorities right now.

 

Overall......she, my last doctor, was not too bad......as far as they go.  Although......way back...... when things started to get difficult, with what I now know, to have been, withdrawal from an MAOI AD.......it would have been great, to know......if she had paid attention to my history of meds/drugs........and that she was aware it was W/D........then. 

We're talking the early 90's here though........  I've been in and out of W/D for a long time......not to mention adverse drug effects and all that.........

And then......I went on and saw a couple more shrinks after seeing my last one(back when I saw her after coming off of an MAOI inhibitor in 1999).  I had pretty much closed that circle, and gone back to my main shrink.......her, my last shrink...........again several years ago.  AND, I really would like to do one last visit.  I think her practice is quite a way from me now though.  We'll see.

 

Oh..... and then I started doing the mod thing too.  The end of last November.  'Got busy with this and that.  I like modding a lot.  It feels right, and I am honored to be doing such a job.  I love you guys!  And this site!

I'll be glad when I just clean up my signature.

I'm doing well.  Last medication off was Trileptal/oxcarbazepine.

Success, for me, has happened.  I just want to spend more time, getting my own history in order, before writing.

 

You are not feeling guilty about being off meds/drugs I hope.  W/D doesn't end at zero........I think that is a pipe dream, that many hold on to.........it's often not the case.  It sometimes is,  sure........... for some.........with different histories and bodies than mine. 

I really think that W/D can certainly be managed........the whole process of it.........a whole lot better, than how mine was, or how I did.  And that is........... an important piece....... in my being well, and doing well, and helping others.  That belief.   As well as........the emerging truths and science.

 

That's why I love being a mod and hanging around here still.  We do see a lot of progress, and people saying thank you, and doing better.  And healing. 

Yah......my heart hurts sometimes(not literally......oh sometimes literally)........hearing and reading the struggle and suffering sometimes too.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

We all do what we can.

mmt

Hmmmm......I may post and then send this to my introduction......out loud laugh.  Have a great Sunday!

 

Hi Carmie!  I'll get back to you on my best/favorite picks for teas.  I think we have a thread on that too.....so, I'll find it again.    Don't forget the honey, either......that's my sugar substitute, which has been working out well.

 

 

 

Edited October 1, 2018 by manymoretodays
in green and some elaboration, grammar, spelling

[manymoretodays]

A friendly Deer couple just stopped by too!!!!

And I have to/must get on some back fence work today.

I feel like I am practically living with one of my neighboring households...........since their big tree trim!!!

And ahhhhh......such is life.  Could be worse......this I know.  And it's another beautiful fall day.

.......there were two wolves, as the story goes.......youtube would not let me share one version though.  Take a look there though, if so inclined.

Ahhh.....here we go.......https://www.firstpeople.us/FP-Html-Legends/TwoWolves-Cherokee.html

So........here........is..........this.

Best to all, L, P, H, and G,

Lakota healing song: 

 

Edited September 30, 2018 by manymoretodays
added link

[Carmie]

Hi mmt, 

 

It made me smile to hear you got to see some deer again. Animals are amazing, aren’t they. They can always make us smile. 

 

I have read the tea thread, I love trying all different ones. I don’t put sugar in my tea, I don’t have anything with my teas, I drink them as they come. 

 

I hope you have a happy day n I hope that your deer friends come to visit again. 

 

Sending sunshine☀️☀️☀️😍

 

[Marsha]

Hi manymoretodays. Hope you are well this lovely mornin.

[manymoretodays]

Thank you both.

I am just back from my travels/journey..........time changes, weather changes, and oh so much more.

I only cried for Mum.......for 10 minutes or less, while driving.......after seeing her, and then trying to say "bye for now".  I would have just let the tear works flow, except it does tend to blur the vision........while driving.  Anytime......oh anytime........an elder, such as Mum is at 90 and 1/2 years........goes through any procedure........well, it does take it's toll.

Wonderful visit with a friend as well........in 2 and 1/2 hours at a Starbucks near Sedona.........well, it's amazing........I'm still processing a bit.

I did do some AA meetings in different locations along the way too!  I even have a phone number too now......for a new friend there......who I might call from here too.  She was nice, oh, they all were.  As well as many others......from here, there, everywhere.

A little bit of Spring......then Summer......then Fall......and not necessarily in that order at all.  And I do see Winter in the peaks here and there as well.

My vacation/adventure/journey continues.........hard to put into words all of it.  Further clarity of vision perhaps.......me hopes.

 

Betsy Ross cat is still settling down again.  I better go check all around everywhere........just in case her mews are more than her letting me have it known that she does not like change of any kind.  She had a feeder and box scooper.......I don't know what or why she continues mewing me.  I sure hope there are no dead bodies in the basement or elsewhere.......I mean I have to wonder what exactly she is trying to tell me now.

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

 

[manymoretodays]

Greetings of gratitude.

Top of or nearing the top of this Sunday.

I guess one could say I am in my extended window of healing/in recovery.

And it is nice.

Coming on up to 2 years off of my last medication.

And sometimes I forget, what is was like.

Then I find myself here, and finding some old posts somewhere.....even outside of my introduction/journal.

And remember.

And then I remember years and years too, going with the usual paradigm of mental health and illness care. 

For me......it became more of an investment in "illness", not health.

And a huge monetary investment too......oh my......big expenses sometimes, out of pocket! 

Co-pays and prescription costs just seemed to keep rising. (U.S. healthcare systems)

 

And I do know, without a doubt, for many others it is the same.

And this is not detailed, yet is applicable to so many, who suffer.

As well as to any professionals out there.......taking a peek here, at our "controversial mental health site"

Which is how this site comes up, a description like that, in a general search.......sometimes.

 

I don't know what is so controversial about getting ones health back.

In all dimensions.

I do know that.......for me........oh my,  I am.......pretty certain.......that.......had I not begun to question the status quo, of medicine, as it is practiced today......

Well, for me, I......am.......so much better........I WILL say well enough now.

And I shudder to think......where I might have been.......

Had I continued on the other route.

 

And aye.  Feel pretty good after my wellness check.....PE.  A couple items that need further study and then decisions by me.

Day one really of trying my "new" glasses for a good part of the day.........several hours anyway.  And things are still a bit blurry in the reading department.  If I can adapt good to this pair, this year, then and only then.......I think I'll consider further investments in eye care.  I do have my f. lux going for my computer screen.   Finger's crossed for an eventual one glasses for all things though!  That would be most excellent......it however, might not be realistic. 

 

Some snow stuck and lot's of freezing temperatures.  The quail life is active lately.  Deer are scarce again.  Awfully sad about the fires in California and lives lost.  Some of that blows in this way.

Almost did a much wanted Inipi/sweat......then it was canceled.  Doing some home meditative retreating though for a few days.  I was inspired by freespirit.   Just trying to find some balance in all things......and peace of course.  Serenity, if you will.  Otherwise active and living life as it comes.

Being good to myself.  Looking forward to firing up the oven, and loading up the stove, for foodstuffs and cooking.  Just small scale on the entertaining.  Unless I find some strays who want to eat! 

 

Back soon.  Love, peace, healing, and gratitude.......quite the list of things to be thankful for have I.

Thank you.

mmt

So onward I go........

Edited November 18, 2018 by manymoretodays
additional

[Marmot]

Hey mmt,

I love watching the animals and the seasons change here too. No deer where I live but many smaller critters and birds, they're really cute. Thanks for sharing your moments of gratitude. ❤️

[manymoretodays]

Hi Marmot.......you little varmit.....

Thanks for popping in.  I must pop by your introduction as well.  I spy some recent tapering of Wellbutrin going on, from your signature.

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

Oh yah.....I love the quail......they cluck, cluck and have little antennas on their heads, and travel about on the ground a lot more than in the sky......and in these cool little lines.  They are very organized that way.......their ques, their lines.

Edited November 20, 2018 by manymoretodays
quail

[Marmot]

Antennas on their heads, I love that. So cute.

Do you get wild turkeys where you live? They travel in a line too and look like little dinosaurs. 

[manymoretodays]

Ha, ha......just because we get these birds referred to as Turkey Vultures.......not sure but they might be some kind of Condor.  Thing is......they sit high up in the trees in the Cemetary nearby and swoop sometimes......in the sky.  I find them a bit scary......ominous.  I could, however change that perception to......"friendly birds???".  Maybe like the Eagles.....signifying freedom, although not quite as rare.

 

......and I am still loving this, so will share it if I can:

THE POWER OF CHANGE: TRANSFORM YOUR PERCEPTION 

The things that annoy you, that challenge you, that make you feel reactive or uncomfortable, that get you to knuckle down in a deep state of denial - are exactly the things that you have not yet addressed within your own experience and psyche. 

When I say you, I mean: I, me, we, us. 

It can be about race, culture, beauty, history, politics - anything under the sun. There´s a million different messages and some of them are very likely to push your buttons. Sometimes for damn good reasons. 

But there´s a difference between reactivity and an integrated response. 

Take the time to pause, reflect and integrate the message that is presented to you before you hit that block or reply button. 

Having an opinion doesn´t make you right, or wrong. It just means you have an opinion. 

In the face of messages that seem to contradict what you believe, it´s easy to spew hate and try and delegitimize what the other person is saying. 

Or to convince yourself that you´re being attacked unfairly - especially when what they´re saying hits home. 

But is that really growth? 

What do you do when you get ´locked´ into a particular mode of response that blocks any possibility of changing your perception? 

Take a step back. Give yourself a little time. 

Once you have had that time to think and feel deeply into the message - then act. 

When thinking about the message no longer hooks you or baits you into entering dysfunctional energetic dynamics - then you´re good to respond. 

You might wish that person well and realize their truth isn´t for you (acknowledging the deeper implications of that action). 

Or you might find that you need to widen your perception to accept a truth that requires you to change key aspects of your self-image. 

You might realize that your engagement is about as useful as tossing sand into the Sahara, or salt into the sea. 

Sometimes people say **** just to get your energy one way or another. 

However, that´s a different kettle of fish ... 

But when you find yourself in a situation where (1) meaningful engagement is possible and (2) you can learn something new - pay attention. 

It might just change your life. 

Starting with you. 

Changing yourself is not easy, especially when you´re holding onto your self-perception for dear life. 

But under the right circumstances, it can be that catalyst for change and growth that you have been waiting for. 

When presented with a truth that aligns with your soul and not your ego-mind, change - no matter how difficult - is worth it. 

When you choose not to react in a way that gets you tangled up in interactions where both do not grow - you transform yourself and others who witness you. 

That´s real power. 

The choice ... is ... always yours to make. 

So choose wisely. 

Blessings 

Dr. Bairavee Balasubramaniam PhD 
The Sky Priestess 

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share button on FB or Reblog on WordPress for personal, noncommercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information into your workshop materials or written work, please cite accordingly as this is original research material. All information provided, be it through sessions conducted or this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counsel. 

Post & Text © Bairavee Balasubramaniam, 2018. All rights reserved. 

Awesome.  Got it, complete with citations of the author and links!  I love this.

[manymoretodays]

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.  It's about learning how to dance in the rain.  Vivian Greene

And snow!

Back soon I hope.

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays

You know.......I believe in God(although a God that accepts my anger sometimes), but even more so in a universal strength to be found in others.  mmt, April 29, 2015(in my first post here)

Going through some tough stuff again, loved ones concerns........sooo.......a wee bit frazzled in recent days and then.......more.......

I be okay.  Send good tidings though please and thank you.

 

And an ode to the life of a normie

Of which, I am not.......in purple and green I think today

I don't think I am mentally ill

 

Perhaps something about limits

Not walls

 

And the power of pause

And grace

And life

And the whole circle of it

 

And how a walk is free

And a friend

And tears sometimes too

 

And it's okay to feel angry just once in awhile

 

Precious moments

Not enough time in the day

 

Priorities

Self

...........................................................

 

 

Edited November 27, 2018 by manymoretodays
elaboration, more elaboration, it helps

[Carmie]

Hi mmt, 

 

Just thought I would pop by to see how you’re doing. 

 

I love that quote: “ Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.” 

 

I’m so sorry you are going through tough times, hope things settle soon. 

 

Sending many hugs your way🤗🤗🤗🤗

[Rabe]

12 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Going through some tough stuff again, loved ones concerns.

I think that can be one of the most difficult things...trying to support those we love.  

Such deep love can hurt sometimes and I am sorry you are having to deal with that right now.  I hope things settle for you.

Thank you for your wonderful poem and words of wisdom!!  You are a blessing to all here!  Thank you!!  Take care!💜 

[FarmGirlWorks]

Thinking of you, mmt.

[Carmie]

Hi mmt, 

 

Just popping by to say hope you’re getting a lot of self care in. You deserve it!

 

Sending hugs🤗💚

[manymoretodays]

Many thank yous ^.  And I'm still operating on quotes......and some reflections, in a good way.........so here are todays, quotes:

 

In my experience, grief is not something we “get over” by following pre-prescribed stages, but something we may be asked to tend to throughout our lives. It is very individual and takes a unique expression for each person.

The timeline for this voyage is not given by the psychiatric community, nor by insurance panels or teachers of spirituality, but written in the stars. To pathologize the experience of grief is a work against nature.

The grieving process may not have an endpoint, a goal line, or state of completion in which we come to some final resolution, where we “finish” and land in some untouchable place, free from falling apart and breaking into pieces yet again.

While some forms of spirituality and healing have this fantasied end state as a targeted objective, the heart is endless and grief may be a companion for the duration of a life.

For me it is not so much a process as a non-linear, unfolding partner. It moves not by way of straight line, but by that of circle and spiral.

author Matt Licata(can be found on FB, of all places )

 

You can't forgive without loving.  And I don't mean sentimentality.  I don't mean mush.  I mean having enough courage to stand up and say, 'I forgive.  I'm finished with it.'''''

Maya Angelou

 

Monday, monday, monday.......Welcome December! 

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

[GirlfromD]

16 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Many thank yous ^.  And I'm still operating on quotes......and some reflections, in a good way.........so here are todays, quotes:

 

In my experience, grief is not something we “get over” by following pre-prescribed stages, but something we may be asked to tend to throughout our lives. It is very individual and takes a unique expression for each person.

The timeline for this voyage is not given by the psychiatric community, nor by insurance panels or teachers of spirituality, but written in the stars. To pathologize the experience of grief is a work against nature.

The grieving process may not have an endpoint, a goal line, or state of completion in which we come to some final resolution, where we “finish” and land in some untouchable place, free from falling apart and breaking into pieces yet again.

While some forms of spirituality and healing have this fantasied end state as a targeted objective, the heart is endless and grief may be a companion for the duration of a life.

For me it is not so much a process as a non-linear, unfolding partner. It moves not by way of straight line, but by that of circle and spiral.

author Matt Licata(can be found on FB, of all places )

 

You can't forgive without loving.  And I don't mean sentimentality.  I don't mean mush.  I mean having enough courage to stand up and say, 'I forgive.  I'm finished with it.'''''

Maya Angelou

 

Monday, monday, monday.......Welcome December! 

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

Beautiful! I needed to see this as i'm grieving the loss of some family. I also feel grief sometimes even going through withdrawal itself, but i think it's because we lost so much prior to this journey, so we naturally grief the losses we suffered (lost friends, family, work etc) but then i feel thankful at the same time, having got a second chance in life, i feel lucky that i discovered the truth and got on a better path. This is when i am able to forgive. Thank you mmt 🧡

[Carmie]

Hi mmt, Just wondering how you’re doing. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

[Carmie]

Hi Manymoretodays, 

 

Thanks for coming over to my thread the other day. How have you been?💚💚

[manymoretodays]

Still hopeful, some part of me is.

Pretty down and out mostly. 

I hate calling it that D word.......it is what it is.

Staying alive!

 

I'll update properly when I can.  When I've made some simple strides forward and have my good old outlook back.

Oh, it's dark and lonely in this hole I've gotten to.  Hard to motivate for much.  Going on 3 months now.

 

Sorry Carmie, I missed your last inquiry.

Hope all of you are well enough.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays

[brassmonkey]

((((((MMT))))))))

[direstraits]

life is just so hard.....🤗❤️

[manymoretodays]

Oh sweet.  Brass on his huge adventure and Dire!

To some degree I think I hit that big overwhelm. 

As my last medication was not a A/D.......it's still tough to know, for sure, just how it applies.

 

I think, yes, for sure, I am still in some later stage of W/D.  More psychologically than anything.   And fortunate at that.........all things considered.

I don't really know how to do "well" and "healthy" yet.  I lost my confidence.   I did a lot of reviewing and got saddened.

 

GOMU(God of my understanding) knows what I've been through.........it's all been worth it.  I just don't truly know how to use it yet.......in that way that benefits others.  It'll come.  Depression, as a whole, is pretty self centered, soul sucking business.  

 

Protracted W/D.  The darn tardive dysphoria from years and years of AD's.  Autonomic nervous system on the blink at times.

 

My general PE last fall was fine.  I'm not going to go looking for another name for this.......other than protracted W/D or healing.  Healing sounds great.

Not to say........there are times I've felt a bit desperate again.  It passes.  I don't like to put it out on the world wide web(www)....... and/or chat about it much.  The negativity, the fears. 

On 2/26/2019 at 1:33 PM, direstraits said:

life is just so hard.....🤗❤️

 

Chhh chhh changes ARE hard.  And it's an inside job.  Doing the work needed.  Thankful for the validation that I know and that is here, on site.  For what I suffer. 

I always bounce back up.  And I will. 

Hope all is well with you direstraits.

 

No great wisdom.  Thanks for understanding.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

And oh........I had a really good fall season of 2018!  So there's that.

 

 

Edited February 28, 2019 by manymoretodays

[manymoretodays]

On 12/4/2018 at 4:15 AM, GirlfromD said:

Beautiful! I needed to see this as i'm grieving the loss of some family. I also feel grief sometimes even going through withdrawal itself, but i think it's because we lost so much prior to this journey, so we naturally grief the losses we suffered (lost friends, family, work etc) but then i feel thankful at the same time, having got a second chance in life, i feel lucky that i discovered the truth and got on a better path.

 

Thank you GirlfromD.

Yes, we ARE the lucky ones!

Let us not forget that.

It's lightening......as I type........the grief........many losses incurred.  Same for all humans.  And oh.......so many gains as well.

The truth that many of us here share.

I love this tribe!!!!!

[Carmie]

Hi mmt, 

 

I’m so sorry you’re feeling mostly down and out. Thought I’d pop around and send you some hugs🤗🤗🤗