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☼ manymoretodays: off many years of many medications


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manymoretodays

More relax time.  Grace.  Maybe groceries today.  Weds. seems like it might be a good grocery day.

 

I do have to get out from the clutter for awhile.  I didn't realize that my son had so many possessions to date.  He can put them away though..........when he gets home.  The living area and hallways and bathrooms are all functional and not too bad.  I hate to shut the doors of the south side rooms because I want the daylight.  I think he is a little ADD.......maybe I can make him a chart.  Not sure what to call home anymore.........no longer the monastery........nor the shanty.........perhaps........the clearing house.  I did find a local site on FB, real local........the ward.......in which I may be able to offload some no longer needed possessions slowly.

 

The final moving trip involved just him.  Driving his friends car.  "Oh great, says I, to myself.........driving without a license".  Then I thought some more before saying much of anything about it other than "Just text me when you get to Ben's"    He did and I didn't even check until this morning.   He has to get the wall fixed at his apartment today.  I didn't ask why as the answer might have been too much for me at the time.

 

He has delayed his permanent arrival as well.  I hope he can handle it..........out there..........in people land okay.  I guess I should/could be ready to go fetch him at any time.  I think I am.  I think he will be ready friday after I actually go to therapy myself.  So I will practice tomorrow........full mind on getting to therapy and where to go for lunch after.  Still about 2 weeks until his appointment.  I hope Nikki is everything she sounds like so far.......that will be his counselor/coach/advocate.  I think she knows my therapist.  Maybe we can all have a get together.......lol........never know.

 

I so feel the fall coming too, the season.............so chilly in the morning and then in the later evening too.  Oh......and all the kids voices at a certain time in the morning.......meeting up and all excited for their school days.  So...........me too........I will think that I have already started this semester........but it is just the get familiar with it again time..........check the syllabus to see what is coming.........get a grip on which subjects I need to work hardest in...........I am thinking the fun electives............as I am just taking those classes because I want to..........in fact I am earning a advanced degree..........way above a double Phd or something........in electives.

 

I think that's all I needed to say............so far, so good.  And I need a nap now I think.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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MMT, I’m so glad things are getting better now. What a tough spell there. And to think you were helping so many others here while going through a very hard time of your own...what an example you are t

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manymoretodays

Long response to "How are you feeling" topic.

 

I think most people can tell if I am feeling better or not on any given day.  By my voice(I have never had a poker face, nor do I have a poker voice)......generally my more extreme feelings are written all over me........ crying or oh a little bit crabby, or a whole lot of crabby, whiny, whiny plus nasal voice versus happy peeps...... smiling more and finding humor......what I am wearing even.  How creatively put together I am.  Not that I don't do my share of faking it.........and sometimes I can........in short bursts anyway.


With purely text communication sometimes it is more difficult.  But sometimes I can not so much fake it there, but write it out, until I kind of shift out of the state.  Certainly if the state is not real extreme it is easier.

My handwritten journal is still getting some use but typing is a pleasant distraction.


I kind of thought.......oh good a nice sarcastic cynical topic and immediately agreed...........

Then I read through it and decided that when my........."what an idiot question that was"........signal comes on..........I can take note of the signal and tell them how lousy of a day I am having.  Or something like that.  Briefly.  I mean I would love to hit folks more with my long rambling reply when they ask but that would be retaliatory, I think.  Out loud laugh.   The question gives a nice opening to elaborate on current symptoms........sometimes.  Otherwise I don't think folks generally want to know the details.  Only a select few that I have found.  That are outside of the various places where others go through this stuff.   I give varying accounts of what W/D is like depending on the person........kind of trying to read them first as to their possible "withdrawal doesn't exist or I can't hear this now" status(for a variety of reasons).  Some reasons are just biases.  I don't like to argue.


I'm making some improvement in the reading for their biases department.  So many go on the defensive if they are still on medication.  I shouldn't have to defend my personal choices.  I've got one more to go and so sometimes tell people I am still on one too, to appease them, but that's ridiculous.

It's still hard to tell which people I should let know that the reason they are presently off could be due to a recent medication change.........or even not so recent.  It can be helpful and reassuring to them that their off ness is not due to their full belief in their diagnosis, if that's the case.  At this point, for me, I don't feel the great need to latch on to my original depression diagnosis anymore.  I mean how can I truly change if I am accepting the wrong things about myself.  Then again.....there are those with real Mental Illnesses too, those not caused by overzealous long term psychoactive substances, or previous illicit drug use, or a whole host of other factors.  Although.......a whole lot less than the statistics show.  And woah........next topic.......Are there real Mental Illnesses?

 

I did help one friend/acquaintance I think with letting her know she could still be going through withdrawal from her last medication, even while on a new one.  It was a recent change though.  And most people do accept the very short term withdrawal theory easily.  Well not that withdrawal is a theory for me........it is real......it is.


For example.......today........I suffer from resistance to improving my computer and other technological skills.  I really think I have to wrap my head around this, before I will have any success changing it.  This is kind of written in a comedic way.

However......I will attempt to copy this reply and add it to my text journal here.  I'll probably leave it here too though.  Testing........testing.

 

Perhaps the chart I make for my son, when he arrives to live for a bit, will be of my general feeling states.   He doesn't really like to hear too much of the details......yah, one of those kind.  But even.......maybe.........it would help him to get better in touch with his own and learn how normal he is.

 

Well, that helped.

 

Led me to creative thought around how to re-do a bit son's room.  I mean it was a guest room with white wicker......out loud laugh.  He actually gets a whole basement suite sans kitchen.  I hope he feels like moving some furniture around with me.  My seldom used sewing room is next door to him too........and I can combine sewing with art space/woman's room up here and geeze.........he is a lucky kid afterall.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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manymoretodays

Yup.  I was ready.  My boy is home!!!!  He's pooped.  All his friends were planning some travels and their recreational drug adventures, and he came home midday.  We got groceries.  We connected.  I bought him lunch.

 

Therapy for me manana in the city.  Maybe a swim.

 

And walked.  And got some apple cider vinegar to try if so inclined.

 

To days horror scope for me is spot on......."you might have noticed how hot-tempered you have been as of late.  Often you are triggered by personal matters."

So.......I hope I didn't unleash on anybody too much........never know.........just covering my bases.

 

New tea.....a green ginger blend.....Tazo of course.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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manymoretodays

Tonight I am going to have a nightcap of Apple Cider Vinegar......2 tsp. to be exact, mixed with clover honey in a cup of hot water.

 

Only one problem.......I did not purchase the organic kind........sheesh........am going to try it anyway.

 

So good to have the kid home.  Yay!!!

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Sending all god wishes , MMT.  Welcome to the ACV club . . . did you get one with the Mother root in it?  

I usually put a bit more than 2 tablespoons , 'cause I like the taste strong.

Glad your boyo got home safely ,   xxx

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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 Hi Manymoretodays,    I just wanted to say "hi".  I've just read a bit of your story, and I think you've been through a lot.  However, you seem to be doing a lot better, and coming out the other side of this "withdrawal nightmare", that we have all been going through.  I hope you see more "healing" in the days to come, and I will continue to check in to see how you're  progressing.  It must be so nice to have your son home.  I understand how it can be a little stressful as well, as my daughter has just moved " back home" for a while, before she heads overseas for an "indefinite" period of time.  I will miss her, hugely. 

 

Anyway, keep up the good work . I hope it all continues to go well for you, and that you see more & more "windows", as time goes by.   Ali.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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manymoretodays

LOL.  No on the mother root kind.......I may stop at the more organicky store today and just use this no-name brand for something else.  It wasn't too bad with the honey and warm.  And I like using straws too for drinks so that should help with my now, of course, worry about tooth enamel.  I need to get into the dentist for cleaning too.  Great hygienist there though and she makes it go real easy.

 

I think it did help with the little bit of bloating I am noticing.

 

Real good to have him home.  And aware.  And communicating/connecting/trying hard.  He realizes he cannot stick around and hang with the.......sheesh.......pretty heavy recreational drug users.  I mean even if they are pulling their weight with jobs and such.  And his other "friends" skipped out on rent.  The hard part is that his one friend really is an old family friend since they were about.......my kid maybe 3 and this friend probably 5........and he is feeling kind of angry and betrayed, rightfully so.  But it will come around okay I think.  I mean his family and mine will never completely lose touch, I don't imagine.  And he is like another son in some ways as mine has been in his family. 

 

Woah.....a daughter "overseas" that would be really hard.........hopefully you will be up for some travel one day.

 

A bit of insomnia.......not too bad last night.  Not too much "have to's" today and maybe some catch up housework before therapy.  Possibly a swim late afternoon.

 

Yes, I have been going through a lot.  Let the force continue to be with me.  Can I have a solid two or three day window please?   Oh, okay......I will take a week.

 

 It all just shifted a bit though as I go into Mom ish mode, learning how to be a Mom with an adult child........in a helpful way.  I never expected so many lessons this not so late in life........thankful for them though.  So.......can outer circumstances bring on shifts and windows?   I will say yes and no.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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manymoretodays

I can use it, the more refined ACV, in this Weed B gone recipe.   I'll just make a small test batch.  Probably not good to use un-organic stuff on the plants and soil though.  Just a wee bit though.  Funny though, as the recipe has Epsom Salt in it too.  Very calm weed killer.  :)

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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manymoretodays

Well that was a 2 and 1/2 day window.  I don't think this is going to be a horrid wave.  My sleep was way off though.  No anxiety.  Just turned to slow and wobbly mid day today.

 

I seem to do better if I go nite nite really early.  Hot and smoky out there too......wildfires from a couple other states have blown in.

 

Therapy would have been pretty good today if we didn't do therapy......LOL.........I mean the best part was the getting there, and back and driving for  awhile.  She didn't say anything too too........it just was kind of boring.  I must have been giving off good vibes though........ when I stopped places after......... people were really friendly and nice.

 

No swim.........maybe tomorrow.  If I go this time in the evening to the gym pool and sauna, it like some date night thing.........with all these interactions going on around me.........not a lot of peace to be had.  Then there is this nutritional thing on FEAR..........sounds odd enough that I might enjoy it.........that would be tomorrow too.   I just don't want to invest in a ton of anti-FEAR food.........that can be the problem with those things.  Maybe I'll just swim and get gas and drive around or up in the canyon.

 

So........I think I will try and do that 10 or 20 minutes of focused stuff and then reward after.  The whole laundry pile is almost non existent..........so need to finish that up.......get all the linens straightened out.  And then I think Monday or Tuesday will be official laundry day.  Sure hoping the son does his own.........pretty sure he will.  I'll have to tell him what my laundry days will be.  At least he is up and dressed and stepped on outside for a few..........I don't think his Dad knows he is here yet, which is also kind of nice........it just is.........no explanation necessary.

 

The clock is going really slow so that's good I think. 

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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manymoretodays

The drive and the lecture were actually excellent.  More than a couple things mentioned were relevant to where I am at now.  Just going to study my notes, look at my financial situation.......and then possibly use some of their ideas later.  It's a weekend.  No one should work on weekends.......although I used to enjoy being a weekend work warrior with the differential pay thrown in.  But that's my excuse for today only.......and I WILL get a few more household things done yet.  I can still get a walk in too.

 

Good quote I will share.  "In drama we live in either the villian, victim, or hero role."  It spoke to me.  I have to step away from the drama in me........well accept it.  Only then can I change it.  What new role I will play.........well that's pending.........it really is and that is okay.  Today is okay.

 

Setting limits with my new housemate/son is hard but I am doing it.  I can so see his just under the surface anger at this point and I will not push.......nor therapize, nor much of anything right now.........with the exception of providing all the comfort and love that I can.  The place that hosted the lecture today may be an option for him as well.  It of course gets pricey but is certainly alternative and while he has no prescription psychoactive drug W/D going on...........I am aware now that he may have been using more than just alcohol to cope. 

 

So today has held some interesting synchronicities........mostly in the lectures.......and that feeling that oh,  man,  I needed to hear a lot of what was difficult to hear.  Kind of a faith thing my synchronicities........hard to explain.  And a whole lot of hope.

 

Thank you.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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MMT , you're doing great , but . . . you need a root.     You know , the ACV , the mother root  :P .

 

The inimitable Dr Axe says this:    here http://draxe.com/apple-cider-vinegar-tried-and-true-health-help-or-hype/

 

How to Use Apple Cider Vinegar

If you want to use apple cider vinegar it’s important to choose your product carefully. You want to look in the bottle and see ‘the mother.’ That is a milky, murky, cob web looking substance that you’d otherwise steer away from without a doubt. But when it comes to high quality apple cider vinegar this is what you want. Choose a product with no or very minimal processing. You can even opt to make your own apple cider vinegar.

Apple cider vinegar is highly acidic so it’s best to take one to two tablespoons a day mixed in juice or water. This way you won’t risk damaging your tooth enamel or throat and mouth tissues with regular use.

The health claims associated with apple cider vinegar are many. Do your own research by trial and error. Then you’ll know what works best for you.

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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 MMT, I love your "writing". It's relaxing .  I'm on the A.C.V. , as well. It's going well.   Did you get the "organic" one?   :) 

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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manymoretodays

Not yet on getting the correct ACV.  I kind of pooped out after the lecture and just wanted home.

 

I thought that was a joke Fresh.........so glad I did not go not buy another one with the milky stuff not in it.   Note to self........read full links!!!!!!

 

But I have used it twice now with honey and warmed using a straw.  Last night we ate Thai food and I did feel bloated once again.......it really seemed to help.  Ethnic food is one of my rewards or sense pleasers that makes me feel better most times.

 

Thank you AliG.  Have you ever read anything by Anne Lamott?  I can't remember other others that write more loosely right now that I like, but she is one of my favorites.   I like to write relaxed, without using all the rules of grammar, such as one has to while in school.  I can remember crying in frustration trying to figure out how to stop using something called "split infinitives".  I'm sure I just used a few........hahahahaha.  Graduate school generally was not fun, hardly ever, at all.  Very critical people in academia.  Or so it felt.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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cymbaltawithdrawal5600

 

I can remember crying in frustration trying to figure out how to stop using something called "split infinitives".

 

So of course I could not remember what they were and went in search of a def. True to my form, I picked a link that was sure to entertain and in this case I was delighted at what I found. From the blog. Of an Irishman. Who writes about the English Language.

 

The title of the post served up a stunning example {{{snicker}}} and a couple of famous quotes on the subject:

 

How awkwardly to avoid split infinitives

 

"No other grammatical issue has so divided the nation" (Robert Burchfield)

 

"When I split an infinitive, God damn it, I split it so it will stay split" (Raymond Chandler)

 

Wow, the demons in our past are legion, aren't they? I didn't have grammatical ones, I loved diagramming sentences! I had other, um, 'failings'.

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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manymoretodays

"Either way, today the “rule” is a prominent superstition, a fossilised bogeyman of writing style. It squats atop the league of misbegotten grammar myths wherein lurk the taboos against starting sentences with conjunctions and ending them with prepositions. John McIntyre says the case against split infinitives has been

shot down, demolished, exploded and buried at a crossroads with a stake through its heart. It should be as dead as Marley, but it keeps coming back."

 

Lol CW, if only I could write so eloquently.  Next to my hardcover dictionary and Roget's Thesaurus I did find "The Elements of Style" by William Strunk and E.B. White.  Yes, E.B. White.  Yellowed with age now and still paper clipped with how not to split infinitives.  Excellent circular reading.

 

Interesting too though.......we had to write all our stuff using a APA manual for writing.  I used that less, of course.

 

Technical instructions, in this day and age, are also so much more difficult for me........if not written down.  And especially when told to me over the phone by someone with a thick Indian accent......... 

 

I can now "just follow" posts.  I did it.......I did it........I did it!!!!!  And also use multiple tabs/windows!

 

 

 

I can remember crying in frustration trying to figure out how to stop using something called "split infinitives".

 

So of course I could not remember what they were and went in search of a def. True to my form, I picked a link that was sure to entertain and in this case I was delighted at what I found. From the blog. Of an Irishman. Who writes about the English Language.

 

The title of the post served up a stunning example {{{snicker}}} and a couple of famous quotes on the subject:

 

How awkwardly to avoid split infinitives

 

"No other grammatical issue has so divided the nation" (Robert Burchfield)

 

"When I split an infinitive, God damn it, I split it so it will stay split" (Raymond Chandler)

 

Wow, the demons in our past are legion, aren't they? I didn't have grammatical ones, I loved diagramming sentences! I had other, um, 'failings'.

 

Lol again........on um 'failings'.  Well put.  I still do have plenty.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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manymoretodays

Made it.  Canyon and reservoir.   Very nice up there.

 

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is pretty good.  DVD.  Better if you have watched the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

 

Richard Gere is in it.

 

I like the Indian accents now.  LOL.  I think it is set in Pakistan or something.  The movie.  Very polite, clipped tones.......the accents.  A lot of Brits in the movie too.  Of course I am drinking tea and trying to stay awake until the end.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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manymoretodays

I am sad as the tears just are not flowing when I need them to.

I am grateful for tears.

On demand emotions are not available yet in my mainframe.

Maybe it's a good thing........hard cries lead to head aches.

I want to make time for my guitar.

And head to the pool.

Simultaneously.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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manymoretodays

An eventful day yesterday.  And I have new stuff to try in the way of nutritional supplements.  A new book-no fiction.  Some decent omega 3's.......but I better wait to try.

 

One new thing at a time.  And I'm doing 2 today.  I have a tachyon on the back of my computer to see how that goes too.  This is a thing that lowers the electromagnetic frequency.  I hope.  :mellow:

 

Oh yah.......coconut oil.

 

Still on the quest for mother root Apple Cider Vinegar.  Today for sure will find some.  I don't think that would be a good thing to online order.

 

Started my calendar.........to keep track of what tried.........and effects.........and windows and waves and all that.

 

Checkbook balanced and those first bills are paid.  Swam and saunaed yesterday.  Nice rain today and lower temperatures, which hopefully equates to a less crabby afternoon.  Feeling graced somehow......... :wub: 

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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manymoretodays

I have found the mother root of Apple Cider Vinegar!!!

 

Went to a brief consumer advisory meeting and did okay.  Whole Earth is okay and I am on to greens in my diet.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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 You sound terrific, MMT.  !!

 

You have to have "the mother". LOL.  ( Braggs, is good ! )

 

Coconut oil , as well .  ( preferably organic. ).

 

"Swim & sauna" sounds good.

 

Keep taking care of yourself.   Love,  Ali.   :)

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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manymoretodays

Thanks for posting.  This morning I am fairly anxious and fearful so far.  Oh and my angel, free therapist is on vacation but back today I think.  Yay!  I really need her daily check ins right now.  Had 3 good days though I think........windows are awesome.

 

 I think it is Braggs.  Coconut oil organic-check.   And I am not certain yet what to do with all my other new stuff.......or when to try it.

 

I think it will be nice to get back to some blender fruits and vegies though.........yogurt and soy milk...........just so sick of ensure, adding that on to other stuff.  Bleeech, bleech, pronounced-blek blik.   New check out guy at Whole foods yesterday.  And it looks like I brought home someone else's really ripe peaches, grown locally but..........  so peaches will be in my first concoction today.

 

I have been diffusing different essential oils too.  Listening to birds again and music.  It does seem to help with the relax.

 

I will do my best to take care of myself and baby bird.  Thanks, MMT.  Love you too.

 

I should be checking out my son's Insurance policy and coverage..........ugh..............should, should, should.  Hoping he will come home today sooner rather than later and check it out himself..........as well as doing the directional forecast for where his counselor is at exactly.  He's good at directions and geography facts.  We have back to back appointments tomorrow and I am starting to wonder at the wisdom in that.  Ah well.......will do my best for just as much as I can do.  Thinking and organization are thus far..........off.

 

Looking like another beautiful day here in paradise though.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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 You "crack me up ", MMT.  "Love you" , heaps. !! Another "beautiful day in Paradise. ". Hang in there, my friend. What oils have you been using ??

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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manymoretodays

A complete smorgasbord(I hope I got that word right).  Oregano(single oil), Abundance(mix), Purification(mix), and some citrus blend.

 

And it may be time for a nap already. 

 

I may try my guitar.

 

And finish my picture in my adult(lol) coloring book.  Kind of a pain though as I have to keep sharpening the colored pencils.  It is all lovely scenes though without the color yet..........and then some really good quotes.  Jon Kabat Zinn book is coming in handy too......Wherever you go that's where you are.........the title.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Is that "fact" or "fiction". ?  J.K.Z.

 

There are some beautiful colouring books, available now.

 

Do you "burn" your oils ??   As in, a candle in your " burner ", if you know what I mean. LOL.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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manymoretodays

Philosophical mindfulness is J.K.Z.  Fictional faction.  :)

 

It's called a diffuser with water in the bottom with the oils and then you plug it in and it diffuses into the air.  Like a humidifier but specific for the oils.

 

Got busy there for a bit picking up the son, doing errands, more wash.  Laundry is endless I decided........it is never all done.  Got some DVD's at the library too.  I guess that will be my fiction.  Tried to read my fiction but just got too tired to concentrate.  Took a nap.  I got more candles too though.......that was on my list.  Maybe I can read when I take my bath.  I could go to actual yoga this evening but I think I have already pushed to do more enough this week.  Sooner or later I hope I feel like dancing around in the kitchen.

 

Angel Merlene is back.  That gives me comfort.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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It sounds like you're doing quite a bit better, MMT.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Yes!  Thank you Alto.  I love the clarity of the mission statement and addendum.

 

I also think that the right relationship/company as an asset to healing and motivation does wonders.  Take for example my son.......being back here at home under even difficult circumstances for him.......and my sudden motivation to just try harder.......motivate through some of the worst of my own stuff.........and get moving more in the right direction.  My Mom and sister helped a lot.  But now that the shock and worst of the neuroemotion around son is settling.........well, wow..........just wow.

 

Very thankful my free therapist Angel neighbor is back from vacation too.  In general........just very thankful for a lot today........it all makes sense again.  I am more organized and capable than I have been in months.

 

10 mos. off Lexapro.  3 mos. off the salts.  And the final frontier taper WILL begin soon!!!

 

And oh......the checks in the mail, so to speak........I can probably get a donation in and will soon.  Best to do this stuff before the Christmas materialism and general financial excess and spending overtakes.

 

"I recently printed out a one-page 2015 calendar and filled in the days that I had windows in blue. I was surprised to see how much blue there was over the last few months. I forgot how many great windows I have had. I keep it on my desk, because it shows me that more windows are surely on the way."  This quoted from clearday on Pugs wall.  I am doing this and going to take it a step further even.......and finally note each change in supplement, diet, or med..........so I can figure out the effects on me.  Like what I was meaning to do months ago........ :)

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Not to worry.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hummus agrees with me and garlic.   I am going to try and make my own next.......garbanzo beans and garlic mostly.  Can make it in the food processor or blender.  Doing okay with greens and salad stuff too.  Fruits.   However I am craving a steak for very soon.  I don't think I can ever be a vegetarian completely.

 

It is very hard to stop eating it........it is sooooooo good.  Hummus.  Greek, I think.........but you can make it any nationality you want depending on the spices..

 

Got out there walk/hike/jog for almost 2 hours this morning.  Next.......my bike??  I wouldn't have to ride too far to get to a nice gentle mountain biking range.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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All hummus aside........I can cry again.  Oh, not on demand but in a let em go.......they are not so bad.......and then they are gone way.  Besides, the usual resident crier didn't make it to the Church of Music today AND they played Amazing Grace in an offbeat non traditional way........full band in attendance.

 

Soooo.......I will go to the potluck next Sunday and bring.........drumroll please.......yes, that's right........Hummus.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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I saw a yoga teacher training sign in front of an art supply shop yesterday.  Must inquire.

 

An extra B12 seemed to do the trick yesterday........calming.......cool........rational........content.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Prayers and positive intentions please.  Son is off to court date.  Yowser. 

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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And so far so good.........drug screens, community service, counseling, etc.  The fine is on the lower end of the spectrum possible.  Another date not too far in the future.  Sigh.......relief.........safety........love.

 

Next up or on the agenda........my 15 minute appt. with a Dr. next Tues.  Must put some better preparation time in than I did for the last one.  An organized and specific list with prioritizing too.........as to what is most important at this time for me, for my associate.  Practice even.  Lucked out anyway with an afternoon appointment.

 

500 mcg. of L-methyl now in AM.  D3 hold as sunlight is gotten most days.  Vit. C.  Mag. Citrate now- 1 capsule is 250mg. and generally just do about a quarter of it once a day........if needed.  The B12 is also useful-but is cyanocobalamin.........not methyl.........ugh.  I do however, like anything sublingual/under the tongue dissolving.

 

Need to square away my Trileptal dose.

 

Soooo.......a lot of work to do.

 

Sad story but true I think and maybe it will work out alright.......but I have heard that the FDA is very much working their way into control over ?non allopathic complementary medicine.  Of course prices will skyrocket, I would suspect, as the money for all those evidence based practice studies will add on up........prior to release of ?safer naturals..........

 

I am not sure that I have any great wisdom yet regarding perimenopause or menopause and best practices to minimize.  I will say that I am ever so glad that I did not get the hysterectomy early on into some of my most difficult years.  I do like my bioidentical hormones, but again.......no guarantees there or minimal cancer risks in the long run.  And the measurement and accuracy of hormones is a really flucuating thing........as far as using labs to then set dosages at.  I am enjoying being menopausal greatly.  Whoosh- who invented periods anyway??

 

Just oh......a lot of work to do.  My program does allow for some hilarity and fun too though.  And I am so enjoying the garlic in everything.  :)

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Ribs.  Pork.  The other white meat. 

 

Good sleep.  Another swim and sauna........conversation evolved around metabolic steroids........after the heman and shewoman left the sauna.  I think it is kind of like plastic surgery with a twist.  And can't one develop a body like that without the steroids?  I don't know.  I don't want one......that kind of body.  Then......most went on to their own routines and I had the place to myself for awhile.  3 lanes and a jacuzzi and sauna.  I am not complaining about that.

 

A nice adventure and exploratory walk/hike/cry into the hills.  Picked up some trash.  Mostly alone but ran into other hikers(2) friendily and the homeless guy camping pretty much skirted on off.  Nice.......if they will allow him to stay out the season though.  Next time I will bring a bit of food for him and his dog.

 

Anger management and self protection with a wiffle bat........long story but.......I released some pent up anger and then died(obviously not) laughing.

 

Brene' Brown.  Good stuff.  Good lady.  She, however, didn't mention her alcoholism in the article..........which is fine.........in fact totally allowable.  More mindfulness and vulnerability and shame thoughts in a healing way.  She writes books and does TED talks.

 

Beginning yoga trainer research.  I think it is 200 hours total.  I might just be jumping the gun here as I haven't done much yoga other than holding a few poses and my water yoga...........so...........will at least do a couple of classes, and then head on over to the center that I have found locally.

 

I have a pretty big list to pick from now........as far as the day to day goes, what needs doing, etc. to get me where I am going and all that.  I really want to do some organic gardening next year and get my herbs all back to life or replant.  Some of that can be started now.  There must be some online farmer's almanac that I can check as far as weather patterns go........I only hope for lot's of good old snow this winter.  And music.  I did practice guitar.........and must be getting my voice back most days...........

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Oh yah......now I remember.  Most of my rocking can be done in a rocking chair at this point..........none of that extreme anymore. 

 

And caution:  my voice may come back completely!!!!!!

 

I knew it was going to be a good week.........and where did the time go? :)

 

Seriously.........can handfuls of nuts cause crabby to come on out?  I digress.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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 Love to you, MMT.  I'm hoping for good things , with your son.

Also with you.  You sound good, at the moment.  I hope this continues.   Ali.  :)

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
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  • manymoretodays changed the title to ☼ manymoretodays: off many years of many medications

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