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Faithbarelysurviving: Too damaged?


Faithbarelysurviving

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Yes, it is so sad..

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Faith ,  Have you been able to think about beginning a slow taper off one of the meds as Alto suggested?  She really is very knowledgeable and you can trust her to give good information and advice.  It seems that you have so many conflicting drugs in your system that it is truly incapable of functioning normally.  If it were I , I would go back and read what Alto posted to you and follow her suggestions.  I am having to taper three conflicting meds too and I know it can be daunting to get started.  But the sooner you can make some kind of a plan to get off these drugs, the sooner you can begin to feel better.  If you need help is just how to begin a taper, just ask and you'll get all the help you need.    I am oh so sorry that this has been done to you but you can find your way back in time.  

1971-81  Valium 5mg c/t PAWS     1992- through now Zoloft 25mg    2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off

2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS    2013 O/D Val 230mg    2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zoloft 25mg

3/15/16  Doxepin 49mg Micro Tapering  Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper

3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 -    Decreasing incrementally.  DISCONTINUED

10/9/16  Doxepin 48.9  Zoloft 24.3  Clonidine  01.10  Continuing micro taper on Doxepin.

11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg  Zoloft 24.3mg  Clonidine 1.30mg

5/4/17  Doxepin 45mg  Zoloft 24mg  Clonidine 1.20mg   Micro taper of Doxepin  , Clonidine

01/13/19  Doxepin 45mg   Zoloft 21mg   Will start Micro taper of Doxepin 2/19

12/21/21  Doxepin 20 mg ?  Reducing using water micro taper--Pulling 24ml from 75ml

12/2121   Zoloft .060 grams by weight--HOLDING (info from post added by CC: On 12/21/21 my dosage was .060grams by weight or 20mg. )

26 Apr 2022 - Zoloft at -0-

 

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I am not able to think... I might still be in severe protracted withdrawal from valium, and swithing from zoloft to escitalopram and before swithing from clonazepam to valium in One day.....and before i don t remember, it s just bits of things i can remember hopefully accurate enough....They also took out Half a dosage!!! Of gabapentin from 600 mg to 300mg just like that...my dr.... in the hospital....i think i hzd full bloen akathisia all the sensations possible in my head and body, totally retarted mentally, crying and in rage homicidal paranoid etc etc , i culd no communicate to anybody, just crazy and falling on the floor ( i could hear nothing but loud beep and see dark and then collapsing hurting myself while they Wor not believe me!!!....so my system was and is screwed up, death sweet death would be a blessing, if i am not already dead and gone in hell ....yesterday i collapsed in bed...my system both neurologycal and psychological is severely malfunctioning...i am a monster...

I can try to reduce a little withw your help only and i hope is not to soon

Faith no more

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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Faitjbarelysurviving, I know that it does not help you but since I c/t my medicine for pain I feel also like a monster all the time... I hope that you get a relieve soon.

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

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Thank you Martina. God Bless

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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So sorry for my poor writing skills, I am very incapacitated mentally...English is my second language but I went to university in Canada so I was pretty good at it...

Is it possible to have breathing difficulties from 20 mg of valium protracted very fast withdrawal? I was given clonazepam 3 mg at my request because I was literally crazy, psychotic? hysterical from the fast withdrawal...

My body feels so heavy, cannot literally open my mouth, if I try to sit up from my bed my neck muscles are so weak that I cannot hold my head up or they get rigid like crazy along with head tension, face, ears etc.

I think I get such bad dp/dr, grind my teeth constantly, feel my teeth changing shape and texture constantly. I only get down from bed to go to the bathroom or to eat something when I can. And i get hungry all the time... So sorry for bothering you... Cannot take pleasure in anything, everything is evil including myself... Which are protracted withdrawal and which are adverse reactions. And I have gained weight too...I cannot comunicate, verbalize...My body hurts so bad and I get numb then then not so numb, tingling, one moment I am so scared/paranoid/then numb then irritable, hearing problems, tinnitus, I do not like anything or anybody, feel repulsion towards my husband or my children...what kind of monster am I? And the way I understand things, process the information changes all the time, I get very slow in my thinking and body movements, I have difficulty in recognizing people or places, remembering short and long term, muscle twices in my legs, my arms...

Thank you for being here for me, just do not let me go please! And please do not think wrong of me, I am sure I wasn't this person, just bear with me...Thank you for your patience and understanding

Faith

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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When I feel a little better mentally I will try to update my signature...extreme memory problems!

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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Something nice : my husband found a bunny, we think it was domestic, white, our children so very happy but he had to take him to the animal shelter lost and found. I am imagining they were happy, I was there but "not there" I think dp/dr deep in the dark and scared and depressed felt nothing when I held him, I felt he looked scarry...I hope he is fine now, my husband rescued him, he could have been hit by a car. But I try to imagine my children were happy

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Welcome. Faith.

 

I put the antidepressants in bold:

 

bupropion 150 mg in the morning,

clonazepam 1 mg three times per day,

baclofen 10 mg 3 times per day,

buspar 10mg at dinner, 6.2mg in the morning,

Escitalopram 15 mg morning

Tegretol twice a day x 100mg

Trazadone 50 mg

Propranolol 20 mg twice a day

 

Buspar is supposed to be an anti-anxiety drug, as are clonazepam and baclofen, both of which act on the GABA system. Tegretol is an anti-seizure drug that is also supposed to be calming; propanolol does the same but is a blood pressure drug.

 

We would say you are taking 3 accelerators (the antidepressants) and 5 brakes. That's a lot of redundancy in your drugs. Looks like your doctors wanted to crush your symptoms and threw in the kitchen sink.

 

Bubble has a good idea: Which drug was added last?

 

They all need to be tapered, but propanolol is probably the easiest to come off. See Tapering Beta Blockers or Alpha Blockers

 

Links to information about tapering the other drugs is here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/300-important-topics-in-the-tapering-forum-and-faq/

 

We know of few doctors in Canada to refer people to minimize drugs. You might contact this doctor http://www.psychiatry.utoronto.ca/people/dr-martin-a-katzman/, he has an interest in holistic medicine http://www.ccnm.edu/press_release/holistic_mental_health_conference_pathways_empowerment and may be reasonable about tapering your drugs.

 

Hi Faith,

Have you tried contacting any of the doctors Alto suggested?

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Hi Faith

 

How are you doing?

I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.
Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.
Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.
Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.
Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.
December - things getting even worse.

January - unbearable suffering

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Hi Petunia,

I think before the horrible withdrawal of valium, it may be even before that when I was on clonazepam and switched off in one day to valium in One day!, no weaning of from one to another!!...that I was sooooook desperate, crying, shaking, my whole body and mind gone crazy ...I somehow God knows how, I was reading about Abram Hoffer- orthomolecular psychiatry and Niacin, and sent a desperate e-mail to the Orthomolecular Ceo in Canada or something like that saying about what the meds had done to me...he was kind enough to reply .. http://www.orthomolecularvitamincentre.com/francesfuller.php-Frances Fuller - I think it was him - I was soooo desperate and impaired mentally. He aknowledged what these poisons can do to you ... I had lots of withdrawals probably that is why I am so disabled today..

So he andswered my e-mail and recomended Dr. Jhonathan Prousky http://www.jonathanprouskynd.com/site/f5d2017340114a6a81a717813e2a84e4/default?url=http%3A%2F%2Fjonathanprouskynd.com%2FPsychiatry.html#2648

 

Sent him the e mail from the CEO and got an appt there I was already taking Niacin for a while, best brand Jamieson, had little or no support from my husband Iwas to blame for all the mess I was in... We finally got to Toronto to see Dr Prousky, I was like a retarted person... He said it was all Iatrogenic, med induced, he gave me to take Niacin 3g per day, Glycine and I think Taurine or Rhodiola , do not remember.....it did not work....I was soooo bad( just like I am now, now I am much worse), he couldn t reason with me much, he sugested to do detox of clonazepam or valium in a facily, I went and they made a huge mess of my brain and body...never go to such places, they do fast taper.......they dystroied me, literally, I know I have brain damage...

So I do not know if Dr Prousky could help...or know what to do....and i am so impaired I couldn t travel to Toronto....i am bedridden and I know lots of it is Clonazepam/Valium protracted withdrawal, i junk ow it....

By the mercy of God, I think I got some minutes or more where my brain conections wired better and it was close to me again, I did brownies for my kids, a bit of cleaning....and went away...but do not remember how it felt...

So I am still surviving moment by moment....I have nerve damage all over my body, trigeminal neuralgia from that horrible inhumane withdrawal, everything burns,head inside, tongue teeth gums and cognition so impaired

Faith

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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Blubalu, not good at all..don t want to put my hell on your shoulders... How are you?

Hugs

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

Link to comment

Hang in there Faith

 

Things will start to get better once you untangle the medication and withdrawal mess. 

I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.
Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.
Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.
Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.
Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.
December - things getting even worse.

January - unbearable suffering

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Thank you for your support blubalu

God bless

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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 Hi Faith,  When did you go n A/D's ?  It's not clear from your Sig.   Anyway, I hope you find relief from your symptoms.  Wishing you well.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Alig thank you, same to you.

Year 2005

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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Faith ,  Have you been able to think about beginning a slow taper off one of the meds as Alto suggested?  She really is very knowledgeable and you can trust her to give good information and advice.  It seems that you have so many conflicting drugs in your system that it is truly incapable of functioning normally.  If it were I , I would go back and read what Alto posted to you and follow her suggestions.  I am having to taper three conflicting meds too and I know it can be daunting to get started.  But the sooner you can make some kind of a plan to get off these drugs, the sooner you can begin to feel better.  If you need help is just how to begin a taper, just ask and you'll get all the help you need.    I am oh so sorry that this has been done to you but you can find your way back in time.

 

Hi Selma , yes i am willing to try a slow taper ....but I need lots of help!

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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Thank you for writing all of that Faith especially since I know things are not easy for you at the moment.

It made me sad and angry to read about the way you have been treated at hospital. That's why most of us feel that in moments of agony places that are supposed to help us only do us more harm.

But the good news is that our brains have a remarkeable capacity to recover and I believe that by taking your drug situation in your hands you have started that process.

It seems that you now understand that most of your symptoms lately have been a result of withdrawal.Doctors reacted in their usual way by throwing in more drugs which in turn caused your oversensitive nervous system to overreact, more drugs were added resulting in dangerous interactions and more symptoms.

It's awful that your doctors blamed their mistakes and ignorance on you. But you understand this now. If you still have a friend around willing to help you please tell him/her to read about the right way to taper if you are too unwell to do so yourself. It was life saving for me.

You are at the moment taking I believe 4 antidepressants so I would start by tapering one of them that you have been taking shortest. So which was the last added?

No new meds, coming off as fast as your body allows of the ones you are on, but one by one, observing your symptoms and if they worsen hold. We recommend tapering 10 % of the current dose every 30 days but given the dangerous interactions I would risk going faster, maybe 25 and see how you feel. You should start feeling better as the dosages decrease but in a controled manner.

Which were the more recent drugs added?

 

Hi Bubble, probably bupropion or trazadone was the last AD, but clonazepam was the last med so that they would Get me out of hospital....i think I was very very delusional or hallucinating before clonazepam, don t know if from valium and gabapentin super fast withdr and gabapentin or the other meds or both.....

So God I am willing to try but i am already very very sensitive with many many crazy symptoms.

Yes I am willing to try but I need your help, I have nobody to help me...my husband might try maybe, he is with the kids and everything else...

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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How do I know how I am . Am I deliriois , delusional? I know something is very wrong with me, cannot breathe properly, my body is heavy heavy, , heart beats fast tight jaws and head, soo tired in my bed, people are watching me

Anybody?

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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I feel things in my head, neck tight head twiching from right to left

Blurry vision body heavy like rock like plumb or steel, like pulling me down in the ground head pulled back by muscles my mind is retarted my teeth are soo sharp and soft and they move, everything is bad and evil including me

I don t know what i want i really don t like people i am alone in my room my face hurts bad my teeth stabbings in my head mentally and physycal change one moment after another

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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god I just want to die i know this is going to be the end I can t take it anymore

I am absent is like my head is empty i think my family hates me i know they do, my husband is the most selfish and critical and controlling creature

I need to stop al this torture I know i am crazy i can t take these symptoms anymore

Who am I ? Nothing i am crazy my brain is totaly crazy

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello faith,

 

I'm really sorry you are struggling so much and I wish I could do something for you. When you look at all the interactions and the number of drugs you are taking at the moment it's not surprising at all that you are feeling teh way you are ;( I'm afraid this kind of situation is too complex to be addressed over the internet and woudl recquire medical supervision.

 

You should take some action and I'm sorry your husband is not more supportive. You would need somebody on your side face to face, a friend, a relative or any sympathetic person.  Alto mentioned this doctor a while back: We know of few doctors in Canada to refer people to minimize drugs. You might contact this doctor http://www.psychiatr...rtin-a-katzman/, he has an interest in holistic medicine http://www.ccnm.edu/...ays_empowerment and may be reasonable about tapering your drugs.

 

If I were you I woudl contact him asap. 

 

Since you started taking bupropion last maybe you could tr reducing it first:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/877-tips-for-tapering-off-wellbutrin-ir-sr-xr-xl-bupropion/.

 

All this information might be too much for you to take in at the moment so that's why it would be good to have soemone around to help... But we will try to do our best.

 

Hang in there.

 

Bubble

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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I don t want to end up in ghe hospital..... And my dr when he makes cuts he does them fost. He said something about discontinuing the buspiron and wanted to cut off 50% and i said i wanted slower.. When he cut gabapentin he did the same50% and i went crazy akahisia twiching couldn t breathe, absent I don t remember almost anything but It was torture.... I cannot contact the dr you say because i would have to travel there in Toronto and i am not capable of that not even somebody to take me there, my husband says we have seen so msny drs. and there is nothing else to do and probably to stick to this one that tortured me with the withdrawals and then adding seroquel in the hospital like i was a worm, and when i i was gdtti g worse worse he would not believe, he would say it was not from the meds but conversion disorder and borderline personality disorder....and I was f. ng retarted and screaming in pain and pacing like crazy ..... I would rather kill m self, and God help me not to hurt somebody else but me.... which meds can make you so hostile and aggressive?? I am not aware of how i impact the others, i am mean and disabled and disturbed but no more hospital....no more torture, the choices sre to still survive from one moment to another and maybe starting to taper from a med ( i started to cut 10% the buspar) some myhs ago, from 20mg to 10mg and 3 quarters of a pill)...or just kill myself. It has to end. What do you think about tapering buspar?

Should I start tapering the wellbutrin? Should I wait? God knows

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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Please Pray for me Bubble, so that God will send an answer. God have mercy on all of us

And give is strength and peace

God i need help.!!!!!

I need you now!!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9ylnx0NA9X4

......

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

Link to comment

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

Link to comment

Please don t hesitate to write me and encourage me ....everybody! I think i am still in severe withdrawal from past year never stabilized, and meds I am taking were given to me to help with the fast withdrawal...I don t know if they help or worsen my situation.... this is inhuman, my brain cannot settle on just one state of mind but changes one after the other with the twhicing clenching tightnes of my head jaw.....before i left the hosp i was totally crazy, delusional, physically impaired, then in my craziness i asked for clonazepam, they were going to let me out like that, impaired, delusional, suicidal and homic. unable to function eat insane....right after the 3 mg of clonazepam i got a bit better more aware of things, but stiil very paranoid, pain body twiches, confusion etc...but slowly in about a mth or two, started getting worse....never stable.... i haven t been stable in years.....

 

Don t stop writing me please, my damage is probably more advanced that anny ody s....

Love Faith..... And you will observe in my post all the different mental states i get into, my it s like my mind is malfunctioning,

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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Faith, I don't really know what to say because I am in such a bad way myself, but I want to let you know I hear you and feel your pain. You are not alone.

 

These drugs are cruel and cause such devastion that it's hard for anyone who hasn't been through this to fathom. I'm hoping for you the healing of your body and a sound and peaceful mind. Do you have anyone who can help take care of you as you go through this? As I tell you not to give up I'm saying it to myself too.

 

I do know things can get better when we're in our darkest hour. So hold on to those small slivers of light that sometimes make their way in. You are not alone.

2001-04 Polypharmacy to include Paxil,Celexa, Risperdal, Seroquel, Depakote, Ambien, Geodon, Valium, Ativan, Haldol

03/04-11/04 Abilify

11/04-05/07 CT Abilify Non symptomatic

6/07 took Valium, began to experience altered reality and physical symptoms of withdrawal from Valium.

07/08. Abilify 2 mg, 12/08 Abilify 1 mg, 03/09 Abilify 0 mg, 03/08-06/11Altered reality but fully functional

10/12 hospitalized, Invega Depot, 2 shots discontinued, severe insomnia

6/14-10/14 flexeril, discontinued, developed insomnia; 10/14 10 mg Doxepin I week, no help with insomnia; 10/14 Remeron for two days, paradoxical reaction

Present Risperdal 1mg, clonazepam 2 mg, Restoril 15 mg. Went from .5 to 1 to 1.5 to 2mg of clonazepam in 2014. Also in 2014, tapered from 2 mg risperdal to 1.5 (fairly slowly but still too fast) and had to up dose back to 2 mg. Got liquid risperdal and started from 2 mg again.

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Faith, I read through your thread and looked at your signature and it looks like you have been on and are on a lot of medication. I know you probably know that's why you feel the way you do. I think someone said in an earlier post to you that once you untangle this mess of meds you can see how to start helping yourself to stabilize.

 

Just hang on Faith, I'm writing to you again just so you know someone out here cares about what you're going through. Try to eat healthy food, drink lots of water and don't give up.

2001-04 Polypharmacy to include Paxil,Celexa, Risperdal, Seroquel, Depakote, Ambien, Geodon, Valium, Ativan, Haldol

03/04-11/04 Abilify

11/04-05/07 CT Abilify Non symptomatic

6/07 took Valium, began to experience altered reality and physical symptoms of withdrawal from Valium.

07/08. Abilify 2 mg, 12/08 Abilify 1 mg, 03/09 Abilify 0 mg, 03/08-06/11Altered reality but fully functional

10/12 hospitalized, Invega Depot, 2 shots discontinued, severe insomnia

6/14-10/14 flexeril, discontinued, developed insomnia; 10/14 10 mg Doxepin I week, no help with insomnia; 10/14 Remeron for two days, paradoxical reaction

Present Risperdal 1mg, clonazepam 2 mg, Restoril 15 mg. Went from .5 to 1 to 1.5 to 2mg of clonazepam in 2014. Also in 2014, tapered from 2 mg risperdal to 1.5 (fairly slowly but still too fast) and had to up dose back to 2 mg. Got liquid risperdal and started from 2 mg again.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm sorry you are going through this Faith, it is torture for you. It is not easy to know where to go and needs a doctor who knows about these drugs to advise you where to start tapering. I am at a loss, if it were me I think I would be looking at tapering the trazodone because you think it may have been the last and seems to be one that interacts with others, but that is not an educated guess, that is just what I think I might try first. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2883-tips-for-tapering-off-trazodone-desyrel/?hl=trazodone

 

Rxisk, which is an organisation that is run by doctors and looks into medication side effects has a consultation service here if you can access it. 

https://econsult.rxisk.org/how-does-it-work/

 

They have extensive knowledge and experience but it is costly. If there is any possibility of you contacting them it would help. 

 

I wish I could do more for you, but here is a heartfelt mamma hug.   ((())) 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Hi Fajth, I haven't read all your thread. Sort of flying through. You mentioned you had been to an orthomolecular doc who put you on a lot of niacin. Did he do blood and urine tests? I go to some in the US who do phone consults internationally, Mensah Medical. They believe Dr. Hofer was brilliant, but subsequent research has shown his niacin protocol to be appropriate for a subset of patients, those who are "over methylated." They would use several other nutrients with the niacin. They believe people who are over methylated are most likely to have severe adverse reactions to antidepressants that increase serotonin levels , if that gives you some idea on whee to stop dropping. Also, Mensah finds most cases of psychiatric symptoms that begin after the second or more baby, involve copper overload. Their website, www.mensahmedical.com, has videos on this topic in the videos section. I will say, though, that their treatment has not made withdrawing easier for me...it does not fix the side effects from the drugs. Please hang in there...people feeling "worst ever" around here do often find great improvement!

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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I am crying so bad, god I am hurting the people around me i think yes I do because I yell at them, god i am so mean i turn into a monster nobody would stay alive if it were in my place, nobody, i eas so stupid to put these poisons in my body bu I was probably desperate i hadon t remember anything and I did fast withdrawals and the drs did too and my parents, my husband, his family, they all got me into being so desperate and all the pressure they put on me and myself all the pressure i put on my self I hope they suffer as much as they made me suffer...

 

and now i am the crazy one tortured hospitalized and scewed up so bad, i got all the diagnoses in the world until they had none...and my kids.....my kids will have no mom, they will hav a mom that killed herself and i ll be the hated one still , the crazy one going straight to hell....nobody deserved me, i was too kind and the peacemaker, had to parent my parents, and i am so sick i scaring my kids away...the only way out is dying, as I i cannot endure the torture of being so disturbed and in so much physical horrible pain, i feel my brain moving inside, horrible sensations in my head, and mentally i freeza, my brain is so dcrewed up,

 

no i have nobody to be with me and they couldn t help me anyways as i am always nuts betwwen sleep and non sleep, i have no idea what i eat, my jaws toght as hell cannot talk(dystoniaprobably)head pulled back my my muscles at the back tight like rock, goes down my spine, no ideaa what is going on around, all is evil , cannot stant anybody anything, noise light...problems breathing, constant chemical and physical neurologycal torture...body pain with the mrntal changes, twiches, and much more...so much hate paranoia depersonalization? And many things and mental states i cannot describe,,

 

i am out like the conections in my head are broken, very hsrd to process info, to get it out or in, headaches or i don t know what kind of pain that is like burning migraine in the frontal lobe that i vomit in my bed, cannot stand up no coordination from my head....like spine posture, akathisia inthink but crazy akathisia maybe my husband Does not Believe me!!!!!says oh well if you took antypsychotics and they created that, now you are not taking anymore and it should have gone away......people are sooooo stupid and ignorant......he sees me spasmi feels it and does not believe it ....more he says why are you staying kn bed all the time....god these people need to go through it themselves because they hurt with stupid horrible words somebody that is crippled...I ask him to read, he says he doesn t want to hear about it anymore and that i am reading too much and Tells it to the Doctor!!!!!

 

How stupid and ignorant can somebody be??? How uninterested and selfish and without hart can they be????? The people of today s world are so blinded and brainwashed...until it doesn t happen to them they willnot believe it... Is like the world has swollowed a Stupidity pill.....God i hope something gives up in me and it all ends....

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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   F.B.S.    I think you should go back and read Alto's advice.   She is the "Queen Bee".   She is the expert , and knows everything.  I would follow her advice, to the tee.  I am so sorry, for what you have gone through. It's criminal.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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I agree with AliG. I would also do everything I can to get in touch with the doctor Alto suggested. There is a phone number and email provided.

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Faith

 

PLEASE review Altos post and follow the suggestions.

 

It is worth it to help yourself.

I'M A WEANER!  :D 
atavan PRN ,Paxil approx 20 yrs ago for major depression
Switched to Klonopin PRN through to current
Paxil wore out
Changed to Effexor 
Depakote added
enormous weight gain - flat affect - led to depression - dropped depakote
Dropped Effexor, changed to Paxil 
PDoc added mixed salts amphetamines for ADHD - took for 2 yrs - was ok at first but had to cut as symptoms too intense -  then the crash was too much. STOPPED
Vyvanse started in 2013 (APRIL) - more smooth than IR amphetamine tabs---Have not used vyvanse daily in full amt since May 2013 

Paxil CT withdrawal 10/2012  :wacko:  Klonopin CT WD

Switched Klonopin to Xanax prn  - too strong

WD CT from XANAX after taking for a while - it was awful but can be done if you hold on!

Back to Klonopin PRN - working very hard to avoid taking it at all. 

Effexor 37.5 started 02/2013, 75mg by 03/2013, 150mg by 05/2012 (approx)  :blush:

Effexor 150mg 3/10/2014 Microtaper -3beads  :unsure:

3/11/2014-4beads ,3/12/14 - 5, 3/13/14 -6, 3/15/14 - 7, 3/18 - 8, 3/22 - 10, 3/24 - 12, 4/6 - 13, 4/7 - 14, 4/11 - 16 - on 4/19 ran out of brand took generic. Bad move. Back on brand on 4/20 and updosed 2 beads. 5/1 - 15, 5/6 - 16, 5/9 -17, 55/10 -17, 5/15 -18, 5/21 -19, 5/24 -20, 6/3 - 21, 6/6 -23, 6/13 -24,6/19- 25, 6/21 -26, 6/25 -27

6/28 -28, 6/29 -30, 7/3 -34, 7/8 -35, 7/17 -36, 7/30 -41,7/31 -42, 8/2 -43, 8/3 -44, 8/5 -45, 8/14 -48, 8/26-50, 9/24 -53, 10/24 -55, 12/1 -57, (lost the tally sheet, thus taper info for some of it), 4/19-63, 4/26-64, 4/30-65 Switched to wt reduction - now @ -.068, 7/14 -.070, August 2015 -.074, between Sept & October 10 -.077, Nov. -.078(feeling great), -.090 as of 1/10/16, down to  -.101 since January 2016 (it is now 6/24/16), -.105 as of 8/13/16
 
 

Ladies, please don't underestimate the possibility of perimenopause. The symptoms can be similar to, may intensify & in some cases mimic protracted w/d from ssri's & benzo's. 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Faith, I don't really know what to say because I am in such a bad way myself, but I want to let you know I hear you and feel your pain. You are not alone.

These drugs are cruel and cause such devastion that it's hard for anyone who hasn't been through this to fathom. I'm hoping for you the healing of your body and a sound and peaceful mind. Do you have anyone who can help take care of you as you go through this? As I tell you not to give up I'm saying it to myself too.

I do know things can get better when we're in our darkest hour. So hold on to those small slivers of light that sometimes make their way in. You are not alone.

No I do not have anybody

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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Hi Faith, welcome to SA. I am so, so sorry to read that you have been treated so badly.  Please can you tell us the drugs you are taking now and ones you have taken recently if you can remember them. It is important to know this so we can offer the best advice for you.  They have thrown many drugs at you to try and correct what was withdrawal, sadly that is all they know, drugs, drugs and more drugs making everything much worse in the process. 

 

Where are you now? Are you at home and is someone there to take care of you? My heart goes out to you, I can relate to what you are going through as I had many hospital admissions with many drugs and ECT, all the drugs made things worse and it is a horrendous situation to be in.  The good news is that  it does get better, but it takes time. Get through each day, each hour or even minute by minute, and the time will pass while you are healing.  We are all here for you and with you while you are going through this nightmare.

 

I am at home , no nobody to help me.

Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds

-Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth

-switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp

-Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad,

-changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!-

-new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam

-severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr

-Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6,

-Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc

-Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron

Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb

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