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Vonnegutjunky: Paxil 10 mg for 8 years - partial wean with reinstatement


Vonnegutjunky

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5 minutes ago, direstraits said:

yes,I have this too. I just don't think the same way anymore,it feels crazy.

I think it's all from these f'ing drugs,I was never like this before.

hang in there.xx

 

 

I am. You hang in there too. 

I wish I knew this got better. 

 

If i had a time frame to know it gets better, I could deal with it easier. 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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3 minutes ago, Vonnegutjunky said:

If i had a time frame to know it gets better, I could deal with it easier.

I agree!!

went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct  back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs.

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3 minutes ago, Vonnegutjunky said:

If i had a time frame to know it gets better, I could deal with it easier. 

This...a million times this.

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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16 hours ago, Dejavu said:

This...a million times this.

Lol.  It would be so nice to have a date and an assurance that it would be over.  Even if it was like 4 years from now we could at least mark the days off like a prison sentence.  This is cruel and unusual punishment for no offence committed. 

 

1994-2009 benzos from age 20 to 36.  Added Cymbalta 60mg in 2007.

2008-2009 tapered benzos to zero and quit Cymbalta Cold turkey.  WD HELL for two years

2011 started on Lexapro to combat the withdrawal and it worked.  

2015 switched to Prozac as Lexapro was not working as well

2017 quit Prozac cold turkey November and crashed into WD.  Reinstated Prozac In December with no benefit. 

2018 Switched back to Lexapro in January and it took most of the issues away in around 2-3 weeks

2019 In February Lexapro has pooped out and WD feelings back.  Tolerance WD I'm sure.

           March 12th Upped my dose to 30 mgs per doctor's advice to see if Tolerance WD goes away but have had worsening sleep issues with limbs jerking and less sleep.

           March 17th dropped back down to 20 mgs and had less limb jerking last night but sleep no better.  

           April 20th cut to 18mg.            

 

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Well I left the house today. The first time in 3 days. I had to go to the pharmacy for my daughter, she has a sinus infection and I had to get her some medicine. 

 

I had anxiety 8.5/10 and depersonalization 6/10 and derealization 7/10 pretty bad, and severe cog fog 8/10 , but I pushed through and did everything I needed to do. 

 

One of the most noticeable symptoms that I have now and that is new is tummy issues. I’m never ever hungry anymore, I’m losing about 1lb per day, which is good, because on Paxil I gained 40-50 lbs, my whole life even into my 30s I’ve always been about 125lbs, my doc said my weight gain, metabolic Syndrome, pre diabetes, and liver issues were all due to old age and menopause. 

 

Anyway my belly hurts so much, and I keep going potty, I have had a history or severe constipation.

 

But this is down right painful in my intestines. Is this normal? 

 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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Congratulations on taking care of things for your daughter! Proud of you

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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8 minutes ago, puthappinessfirst said:

Congratulations on taking care of things for your daughter! Proud of you

Thank you 😊 got to take care of the kiddo, thankfully I only have 1 dependent right now, my other one is 26 with her own kid. 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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@Altostrata or any other mods. 

 

Last November I was put on 15mg of progesterone cream. I took it for about 3 months. Initially it worked really well (and my blood tests revealed high estrogen and very low progesterone) which is why I was prescribed it-

 

 toward the end of the 3 months I was on it I started having panic attacks and I abruptly quit the cream, I was worried maybe I was getting too much and it was causing panic.

 

Since the end of January when I stopped taking it, is when I have started experiencing the worst of the withdrawals and subsequently around the same time I had to updose.

 

my question, should I stay off the progesterone? Should I retry it? What would you do? I am post menopause but only barely, I’ve only been without a cycle for not even 2 years yet. And I went into early onset menopause, I started at 39, I 1000% believe it was due to long term Paxil use. 

 

Just wondering if anyone knows, there is so much conflicting information out there. I am tempered to try it again because I had a 2 month window while on it; I drove myself to family parties 2 hours away, I was functioning really well, and now very quickly I am barely able to get out of bed. 

 

Before the progesterone i one I was in windows every couple of weeks, and they would last a good 2-3 weeks. 

 

Now since the end of January I’ve had 1-2 windows, short, not as good as before and the waves are insane. 

 

Do so I let my hormones try to settle? 

Any  advice  from anyone who understands menopause/hormones  would be appreciated. 

 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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Just had a paranoid delusion in Walmart,  as we were in the self serve check out section the computer asks you to check your basket before paying, I thought it was actually talking to us and accusing us of trying to steal. 

 

How is it that I went from feeling 100% normal  in December, to this? 

 

I have only ever had anxiety and panic disorder. Nothing else. What is happening to me? 

Never been on any meds besides Paxil. 

 

Something is really wrong now. 

I think I need something else ? 

 

Did this paxil cause me to become dopamine and serotonin deficient? 

 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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Took a benzo for the first time last night - I go see my doctor next Monday- 

 

ive never taken a benzo before - I don’t understand how people love these - I did not like the way it made me feel at all- I guess that’s good - I’ll only use it in an emergency- but I don’t feel as crazy today - 

about 50% better - 

 

i am am going to ask him for a sedative of some kind - or something I can take while tapering - something to at the very least keep the anxiety at bay- 

 

i was thinking of something like vistaril, but I’m not sure how difficult it is to withdraw from that - I know that acts on serotonin too so it could be useful in helping me come off this Paxil - but I’ve done all I can at this point - it’s been 5 years and I still have not stabilized on this med - 

so if I continue a slow taper with the help of a sedative I might be able to do it-

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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I'm sorry you're having such an awful time. It's so horrendous. I know you've been stable before, but it seems like anything below this 6mg mark is incredibly difficult for you and many others. It's so not fair. 

 

Can you possibly bridge to prozac? Or is that way too risky?

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 4/22/2019 at 10:35 AM, puthappinessfirst said:

I'm sorry you're having such an awful time. It's so horrendous. I know you've been stable before, but it seems like anything below this 6mg mark is incredibly difficult for you and many others. It's so not fair. 

 

Can you possibly bridge to prozac? Or is that way too risky?

Hey - I don’t know- according to my genetic tests Prozac isn’t a good match for me - but I am getting to a point where I am willing to try just about anything - and my menopause isn’t helping matters - 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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Can someone explain to me the role of acetylcholine in withdrawals? Is it too much or not enough that causes some of the symptoms? 

I have been using Benadryl with some success when my cns feels like it’s buzzing - I have terror and using the toilet often- and when I hit a window, it all goes away and I become constipated and everything including my metabolism slows way down- 

Any ideas?

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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Hey VJ,

 

I just wanted to say hello to you as you popped into my mind. I know you've been having a hard time recently and asking lots of questions. I think asking lots of questions like this is a mix of the normal human desire for answers and solutions, worsened by the racing thoughts / anxiety that WD brings on.

 

I'm not experienced enough to answer your questions, and if you're anything like me, answers just lead to more questions.... but I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you, with a real understanding of what you're going through. And sending you hugs X

LATEST SITUATION

*GSK-BRANDED LIQUID SEROXAT*

CURRENTLY HOLDING AT 4.84MG LIQUID SEROXAT (PAROXETINE) DAILY, FOLLOWING 5% TAPER SINCE JUNE 2020 AS FOLLOWS:

  • 1 APR 21: UPDOSE TO (AND HOLDING SINCE) 4.84MG PER DAY, AS 4MG LUNCHTIME, 0.84MG EVENING
  • PREVIOUS TAPERING SINCE JUNE 2020: 13 Mar 21 (CRASHED 19 MAR 21) 4.72mg per day, as 4mg lunchtime, 0.72mg evening | 13 Feb 21: 4.96mg per day, as 4.24mg lunchtime, 0.72mg evening | 16 Jan 21: 5.2mg per day, as 4.48mg lunchtime, 0.72mg evening | 19 Dec 20: 5.48mg per day, as 4.76mg lunchtime, 0.72mg evening | 21 Nov 20: 5.76mg per day, as 5.04mg lunchtime, 0.72mg evening | 24 Oct 20: 6.04mg per day, as 5.32mg lunchtime, 0.72mg evening | 26 Sept 20: 6.36mg per day, as 5.64mg lunchtime; 0.72mg evening | 29 Aug 20: 6.68mg per day, as 5.96mg lunchtime; 0.72mg evening | 1 Aug 20: 7mg  per day, as 6.28mg lunchtime; 0.72mg evening (bereavement, didn't reduce) | 4 Jul 20: 7mg per day, as 6.28mg lunchtime; 0.72mg evening | 6 Jun 20: 7.36mg per day, as 6.64mg lunchtime; 0.72mg evening

*OTHER MEDS/SUPPLEMENTS*

Since my March 2021 crash (above), I have very occasionally taken a benzo, and increased some of my supplements. Please see this document.

————————————————————————————————

PREVIOUSLY

From 12 May 19 to 5 Jun 20 inclusive: 7.72mg per day, as 7mg lunchtime; 0.72mg evening. Split my doses in May 2019 as I suspect half-life is more of a factor at lower doses. Further history here.

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5 hours ago, DeterminedAnna said:

Hey VJ,

 

I just wanted to say hello to you as you popped into my mind. I know you've been having a hard time recently and asking lots of questions. I think asking lots of questions like this is a mix of the normal human desire for answers and solutions, worsened by the racing thoughts / anxiety that WD brings on.

 

I'm not experienced enough to answer your questions, and if you're anything like me, answers just lead to more questions.... but I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you, with a real understanding of what you're going through. And sending you hugs X

You made me cry - this is the sweetest message ever be ever gotten- thank you so much - 

 

i am struggling so much at the moment - more than I have though this whole ordeal - I’m going on week 5 of the worst derealization and feelings of sheer terror - feels like electrical acid in my veins - 

 

i am tempted to ask for another medication- but I recently found out my grandmother (who I look a lot like) suffered from treatment resistant depression- my aunt said she drug shopped for almost 20 years and was miserable because she couldn’t find anything after her Valium turned on her - 

 

i dont want that to be me - so I am going to try to wait and see if I can push through - if I can and it don’t get worse I feel like I can make it - but if I get worse and suicidal I will rethink this - I’m not suicidal and I can still sleep at this point - 

 

also  I have been reading baylissas book recover and renew and it is so helpful - 

 

If you ever want to connect outside of here please send me a pm - I would enjoy half a friend who ideally understands- 

love and peace to you Anna 🙏🙏🙏

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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Hey - just  an update - 

Since my failed reinstatement 5 years ago I've had the most insane ear ringing - well Wednesday and Thursday  its decreased significantly - and  Thursday night was so strange - i spiked a really high fever for about 2 hours and after it abated it was almost like a fog lifted - all of April I was incapacitated and bed bound and broke down and used an ativan, but something is changing - something is - like I can feel my old self just under the surface - went to the grocery with my husband today and I made a joke and for a moment, I was me again, it was fleeting was it was noticeable and it was beautiful- I had to hold back tears of joy - 
 

Today the ear ringing came back, the dpdr, and strange thoughts. Bad cog fog, and this thing where I imagine something happening and then I worry that I am hallucinating that it is happening. It is so bizarre and strange, and I really think it’s some kind of psychotic state, I cannot even really totally explain it. But I margined that my teeth were melting, and I could almost feel that they were melting and then I got scared that I was hallucinating. I don’t know if this is some hyper anxious state or what but it scares me that I’m going completely insane. 

 

I hooe these mental things go. I can handle all of the physical, but mental stuff is bothering me so much. 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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  • Administrator

Hi, VJ. As always, you're a surprise.

 

I guess you had an infection that changed pressure or circulation in your ears or something? I'm glad you got some relief for a bit.

 

How long did this strange fantasy state last? Could it be you still had a fever?

 

When was the last time you reduced Paxil?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Administrator

VJ, I am wondering if maybe there's been some slight change in your liver functioning that has affected your metabolization of Paxil.

 

We had talked about a switch to Prozac. Here's something else to consider:

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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On 5/11/2019 at 3:54 AM, Vonnegutjunky said:

You made me cry - this is the sweetest message ever be ever gotten- thank you so much - 

 

i am struggling so much at the moment - more than I have though this whole ordeal - I’m going on week 5 of the worst derealization and feelings of sheer terror - feels like electrical acid in my veins - 

 

i am tempted to ask for another medication- but I recently found out my grandmother (who I look a lot like) suffered from treatment resistant depression- my aunt said she drug shopped for almost 20 years and was miserable because she couldn’t find anything after her Valium turned on her - 

 

i dont want that to be me - so I am going to try to wait and see if I can push through - if I can and it don’t get worse I feel like I can make it - but if I get worse and suicidal I will rethink this - I’m not suicidal and I can still sleep at this point - 

 

also  I have been reading baylissas book recover and renew and it is so helpful - 

 

If you ever want to connect outside of here please send me a pm - I would enjoy half a friend who ideally understands- 

love and peace to you Anna 🙏🙏🙏

Oh I'm sorry to hear that the horrible feelings are coming back!

 

Maybe before you consider such potent medication such as Valium, it may be best to try if you can manage the symptoms with supplementation and other medications?

 

I'm not sure if you tried magnesium ever. Some people find it to be very effective for anxiety. However I have had no luck with it from low to high dosage

 

Some less potent medication you can try are antihistamines or beta blockers. I think you can find threads of other people's experience on these

 

Take good care🤗

Clonazapam:  01/2015 - 03/2015 2mg; 03/2015 Cold Turkey

Lexapro:  07/2007 - 08/2018 10-20mg; 08/2018 - 10/2018 Tapered to 0mg; 10/11/2018 Reinstated 7 days taper up to 20mg (took 3mg xanax/day first 3 days of reinstatement); 17/11/2018 20mg; 2/12/2018: 15mg; 3/12/2018 10mg; 5/12/2018 Developed violent spasms, back to 15mg;

6/1/2019 13.5mg; 27/3/2019 13mg; 2/4/2019 12.5mg; 11/4/2019 10mg; 25/5/2019 9mg; 8/7/2019; 8.75mg; 15/7/2019 8.5mg; 22/7/2019 8.25mg; 5month taper of 10%/month to 5mg on 12/2019;

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  • Administrator

VJ, paroxetine is very, very difficult to go off. Please don't blame yourself.

 

We've discussed the alternatives. Since you reduced about 3mg, you are in a good position to add 3mg or even 1mg of another SSRI for a gradual cross-over.

 

My initial suggestion was fluoxetine (Prozac), which is the usual choice because it has a longer half-life than the others. Citalopram or Celexa might work. I would avoid escilatopram (Lexapro), as it's stronger than fluoxetine or citalopram.

 

I don't think that genetic test about your enzymes is that important, but I do think your liver condition might be, in that your liver metabolization may have changed somehow.

 

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thank you both. 

 

I have considered a cross taper, but my psychiatrist doc, who actually understands wd, said after 12 years of receptor down regulating, i am risking trying anything. He actually moved to California and now I have to do video conferencing with him at my appts. But he’s wise and is very cautious. He said since I sleep well and am not suicidal, keep tapering and I meet with him every month, and he will prescribe anything I ask for. He gives me benzos always with a warning, and never more than 15 at a time. (I’ve inky ever used 1/4 of an Ativan twice....I really do not like using them at all, I don’t like the way they make me feel, but I do think they are helpful for calming the cns, they seem to have a lasting effect for me) 

 

Anyway, I will always keep in mind the Prozac and the lamictal, if things get to where I can’t sleep and are even more dire, but this constant fear is all consuming , I lay in bed all damn day,  I don’t work, I am scared of becoming psychotic and becoming a tragic headline, doing something without realizing it) 

 

the funny thing, when I got pregnant w my last child I got off my Paxil so easily, went down from 20mg in 2 months with no issues at all.....I was in my 2nd trimester....maybe that’s why it was so easy, the pregnancy hormones.....and now I’m in menopause, could be why it 1000x worse .....also the med isn’t working at all, and my liver is a rapid metabolizer.....i can’t say it’s nit working thought  because  the lower I get the worse I feel in some ways, but better in other ways....I don’t feel like I am on a bad acid trip 24/7 anymore, which is how I felt when I first reinstated....that has gone....and during that time, I really didn’t have the panic and anxiety and constant terror.....now I do....I just hope I don’t go crazy and do something horrible....that’s my worst fear.....

 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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In spite if how I feel...I'm doing my laundry....I spent 2 days in bed.....i literally forced myself to get up and do laundry. The noise if the machine is causing me to have anxiety, getting up to switch out loads is causing me anxiety....

I noticed 3 dollars setting on the dryer and some strange random thought came into my head about it, it's like it wasn't even my own thought, like the thought was placed there, in my mind, (this happened 20min ago and I dont remember what the thought was but it scared me so bad becuse I feel like I am going crazy) so I come on here and hope some one, anyone else can relate and tell me it's a withdrawal symptom that will pass...

So I keep trying in spite of how I feel, and i wonder, is it worth it? Will doing things that cause so much distress help me? Or will the stress of it finally overcome me and make me crazy?  Has anyone ever gone insane? I think in going to go crazy.

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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All I can say is it's ok if you go crazy.  It really is.  I did go crazy, and everything has turned out ok.  DP and DR are very upsetting.  I'm not saying you are expected to be fine with all of that.  However, it's all going to be ok, because you are not permanently "crazy."  This is temporary just like the other symptoms.  It will go.  

 

Yes, I have had so much trouble doing household chores - so much anxiety and actual fear about doing them.   Yes, I have had painful diarrhea month after month.  Gas, constipation, etc.. Menopause, peri-menopause, PMS?  I don't know.  It seems that WD causes every illness to be worse and scarier than before.

 

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad.  I hope it eases for you soon.

 

Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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We all feel that way at times, but it's just a feeling so hang in there and it will pass! Its not an easy journey, but you will make it.

2005-2009, Lexapro 10 - 20 mg, CT WD w/severe depression and anxiety:  2010-2015, Paxil, 30 - 40 mg, tapered off at 10 mg/week, moderate anxiety and depression:  2010-2015, Clonozapam 0.25 mg, as needed for anxiety and sleep:  1/10/2015, Zoloft 25 mg, tried to increase to 50 and 75, but nausea and dizziness:  2/13/2015, Paxil 5 mg, added back after 2 weeks at zero to reduce WD:  2/28/2015, Paxil 10 mg, increased from 5 mg to reduce WD, HOLDING:  3/04/2015, Zoloft discontinued (reduced to ~12.5 mg on 2/19, ~6.25 mg on 2/26, then zero):  4/26/2015, Paxil starting 10% taper (no scale so was inadvertently at 20% taper, yikes!):  4/30/2015, Paxil 10 mg, reinstated (WD disappeared between August 2015 and May 2016)

5/02/2016, Started 10% taper, reinstated to 10 mg on 5/11/16:  4/29/2017, Last dose of Paxil (working with holistic psychiatrist, lots of supplements to aid WD):  Primary symptoms: apathy, demotivation, anhedonia, fatigue, stress intolerance, moderate social anxiety

7/1/2018 Finally feeling like myself again, success!!! Praise God! Even with the stress of relocating recently, I am feeling pretty good most of the time now. Granted, I eat healthy, I exercise, I don't drink caffeine or alcohol and I try hard find a healthy balance of quiet and social times. Hang in there and keep the faith, you can do it too!

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On 5/26/2019 at 5:13 PM, Rosetta said:

All I can say is it's ok if you go crazy.  It really is.  I did go crazy, and everything has turned out ok.  DP and DR are very upsetting.  I'm not saying you are expected to be fine with all of that.  However, it's all going to be ok, because you are not permanently "crazy."  This is temporary just like the other symptoms.  It will go.  

 

Yes, I have had so much trouble doing household chores - so much anxiety and actual fear about doing them.   Yes, I have had painful diarrhea month after month.  Gas, constipation, etc.. Menopause, peri-menopause, PMS?  I don't know.  It seems that WD causes every illness to be worse and scarier than before.

 

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad.  I hope it eases for you soon.

 

Rosetta

Thank you Rosetta. 

How are you feeling these days? 

May I ask when you went crazy? What happened? 

 

I read your intro but didn’t make it through your whole story as it’s so long. 

 

Our stories are very similar. 

I hope you find continued healing. 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

Link to comment
12 hours ago, Prestorb said:

We all feel that way at times, but it's just a feeling so hang in there and it will pass! Its not an easy journey, but you will make it.

 

Thank you , it’s hard to not wonder about each little symptom and wonder if it’s wd or something else...something worse..

 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
On 5/26/2019 at 2:54 PM, Vonnegutjunky said:

I noticed 3 dollars setting on the dryer and some strange random thought came into my head about it, it's like it wasn't even my own thought, like the thought was placed there, in my mind, (this happened 20min ago and I dont remember what the thought was but it scared me so bad becuse I feel like I am going crazy) so I come on here and hope some one, anyone else can relate and tell me it's a withdrawal symptom that will pass..

J, this reminds me of the time I panicked while walking through the living room and my husband was watching a hockey game. I completely lost it. It was a totally random thing, but the panic I experienced was instantaneous and over the top. It was one of several instances where I panicked over random, mundane things. Yes, it is withdrawal and it will pass. It did for me.

 

I was also struck by your recounting of the experience with your husband in the store where you made a joke and felt like yourself for a brief moment. I had a moment like that, too. It turned out to be a real turning point for me in that I began to see improvement after that - not just a window, but genuine baseline improvement. Not immediately noticeable, but like everything else on this hell ride, slowly and gradually. I'm thinking it may be a watershed monent for you too. I certainly hope so.

 

I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Please think long and hard about bridging to prozac or celexa. Paxil has definitely not been kind to you. But you are putting up a brilliant fight, though I'm sure it doesn't always feel that way. I think of you often and send healing energy your way.

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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Thanks for the tears lol, tears of happiness and gratitude for your reply. 

 

If i get suicidal or cant sleep or get akathisia , I will bridge or try a new med, those are my cut offs as I sleep very well and dont have akathisa and I'm not suicidal. 

 

I cannot see my new therapist until June 10th and she does emdr, I am hoping that can help with my intrusive thoughts, the new ones trying to take over and the old ones reoccurring....my intrusive thoughts were always existential in nature and they still are to an extent. 

 

They also do acupuncture and theroustic massages at the clinic I will be going to, so I am hoping those can help too. 

Thank you DS I hope this is a turning point for me too and continued healing for everyone on here. 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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  • Administrator

VJ, serotonin is only one of maybe 30 or more neurotransmitters zooming around your nervous system. These speculations about serotonin alone being central to anything relating to mood are probably wrong.

 

It's an orchestra of neurotransmitters running your body; when one leaves off in a symphony, another plays its part.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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On May 27, 2019 at 6:20 PM, Vonnegutjunky said:

Thank you Rosetta. 

How are you feeling these days? 

May I ask when you went crazy? What happened? 

 

I read your intro but didn’t make it through your whole story as it’s so long. 

 

Our stories are very similar. 

I hope you find continued healing. 

 

I'm healing.  That's clear.  It's not very comfortable.  Most of my problems seem to be intertwined with my menstrual cycle.  Physical pain, deep sadness, intermittent anxiety.  Every so often symptoms that have been gone for a while come back such as anger, Akathisia, severe fatigue, and crying.  This is such a slow, frustrating process.

 

I went crazy before I joined SA.  None of that time is documented in real time on my thread.  I was at my worst point about two months after I found SA and was reading here.  It lasted from about September to mid-December 2017.  My daughter was 6.

 

I was probably "crazy" before, but I didn't understand what was happening to me.  I couldn't understand.  My brain was too scrambled.  It took me a long, long time to understand what SA was saying about WD.  Part of that was the format.  I had to piece it all together to get a clear picture.  The idea that all my symptoms, both physical and emotional, could be caused by quitting Zoloft was too foreign a concept.

 

My husband says I was very ill for 10 years before I quit Zoloft.  He thinks the switch to Zoloft in 2011 when my child was born made everything worse, but that being on Celexa made me very sick, too.  He feels that I was much better when I was pregnant.

 

What happened I put on my thread today and you can read it there.  I don't want to upset everyone who comes to your thread.  I do want to warn people that I think taking Trazodone made everything worse for me and that I might not gave had Akathisia so badly or so long otherwise.  Not that Trazodone specifically was the problem but that taking a new drug once I was in WD from Zoloft was possibly what caused my case of ADWD to be so severe.

 

My husband tried to care for me and my child.  I did not go to the hospital or the doctor.  I knew the medicine had done this to me, but I didn't understand how.  I finally figured out that ADWD means "dysautonomia," and I felt that I could trust the advice from SA to stay off medication.  Having had the experience of the Trazodone making my condition worse probably helped me to believe that SA had the right advice.  I often wonder if that Fall of 2017 would have been much better if not for the Trazodone.  I believe it kindled me.

 

The fear I have for you and others is that taking new medication or raising doses by too much or too fast will cause Akathisia.  If my story can help anyone avoid that I want it told.

 

Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Alto, I completely believe that, 100% 

But why did Paxil make me feel so much better when I initially started it 12 years ago? It stopped all of my anxiety and panic and lifted my mood completely. I am so spellbound by these meds, and just knowing I'm spellbound doesn't change the fact that I know they made me feel better at one point. It's so confusing to me. 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

Link to comment
49 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

 

I'm healing.  That's clear.  It's not very comfortable.  Most of my problems seem to be intertwined with my menstrual cycle.  Physical pain, deep sadness, intermittent anxiety.  Every so often symptoms that have been gone for a while come back such as anger, Akathisia, severe fatigue, and crying.  This is such a slow, frustrating process.

 

I went crazy before I joined SA.  None of that time is documented in real time on my thread.  I was at my worst point about two months after I found SA and was reading here.  It lasted from about September to mid-December 2017.  My daughter was 6.

 

I was probably "crazy" before, but I didn't understand what was happening to me.  I couldn't understand.  My brain was too scrambled.  It took me a long, long time to understand what SA was saying about WD.  Part of that was the format.  I had to piece it all together to get a clear picture.  The idea that all my symptoms, both physical and emotional, could be caused by quitting Zoloft was too foreign a concept.

 

My husband says I was very ill for 10 years before I quit Zoloft.  He thinks the switch to Zoloft in 2011 when my child was born made everything worse, but that being on Celexa made me very sick, too.  He feels that I was much better when I was pregnant.

 

What happened I put on my thread today and you can read it there.  I don't want to upset everyone who comes to your thread.  I do want to warn people that I think taking Trazodone made everything worse for me and that I might not gave had Akathisia so badly or so long otherwise.  Not that Trazodone specifically was the problem but that taking a new drug once I was in WD from Zoloft was possibly what caused my case of ADWD to be so severe.

 

My husband tried to care for me and my child.  I did not go to the hospital or the doctor.  I knew the medicine had done this to me, but I didn't understand how.  I finally figured out that ADWD means "dysautonomia," and I felt that I could trust the advice from SA to stay off medication.  Having had the experience of the Trazodone making my condition worse probably helped me to believe that SA had the right advice.  I often wonder if that Fall of 2017 would have been much better if not for the Trazodone.  I believe it kindled me.

 

The fear I have for you and others is that taking new medication or raising doses by too much or too fast will cause Akathisia.  If my story can help anyone avoid that I want it told.

 

Rosetta

Oh my, then yes I too have already been crazy....

My husband also gets so many when I have a meltdown and tell him I cant do this life anymore. 

Yep I get and have had akathisa, and every single symptoms you describe. I am currently housebound 90% of the time, going anywhere makes me freak out....laying at home on my sofa of my bed are the only places I feel less terror. 

I can sleep, and I dont have constant SI, so I consider myself lucky. I am not opposed to trying a new medication if I get worse, and i know j could be worse, I have little moments of feeling ok. 

Mostly I just dont want to do anything at all.

I am so happy that you can see your healing, I dont have a menstrual cycle, and I feel my menopause may be making me feel worse, and honestly there are no good menopause doctors where I live. But I know menopause is something that my body will figure out on it's own. 

 

Right now I am battling a depression, that had probably been brought about by wd, I'm just tired and feel hopeless, exhausted from fighting with my mind every day. Hopefully tomorrow is better

 Thank you 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

Link to comment

Just needed to make a note. My symptoms are 50- 70% reduced today. 

Need to note the good too. :)

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

Link to comment
19 minutes ago, Vonnegutjunky said:

Just needed to make a note. My symptoms are 50- 70% reduced today. 

Need to note the good too. :)

 

🤗🤗🤗

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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17 hours ago, Vonnegutjunky said:

Just needed to make a note. My symptoms are 50- 70% reduced today. 

Need to note the good too. :)

YAY!!

Hang in there.💙

went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct  back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs.

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Thank you DS! These past 2 days driving my daughter back and for to school were easier, but last night when I tried to meditate the guided meditation was giving me severe anxiety. So I am still extremely fragile. But grateful for the small victories. 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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