Helping family understand

[Gridley]

We are here for you.  Every bead you don't swallow is a small victory: yes!

[Shep]

If printing articles off of the withdrawal websites isn't working, there's been some really great information on mainstream and academic media recently that may be helpful to pass along to friends and family as more "credible" sources of information.

 

Psychiatric Times: Online Communities for Drug Withdrawal: What Can We Learn?

 

New York Times: Many People Taking Antidepressants Discover They Cannot Quit

 

Hoping for more of this same type of coverage, especially in journals such as Psychiatric Times, which is read by many mainstream psychiatrists in the US every month. 

 

They can't say they don't know and they've never heard of this. Getting a doctor to acknowledge withdrawal may go a long way in getting more understanding and support from friends and family. 

[Miko789]

My family knows  about the meds but my father isnt supportive, my brother knows  that I took in the past a/d and now a/p , I have told him about some withdrawal that the meds are causing but he doesn't want to believe, he says its all in your head, I told him to look on the net withdrawal coming off a/d and a/p,

Ill just copy paste some comments/posts from members  and send to his email.

My closest friend is supporting me but he lives on an island.

He brother  keeps saying don't spend your money in acupuncture, its a  waste of money. he thinks that classical medicine is the only way to go, I guess hes misinformed from media/doctors. puff

[Altostrata]

Posted in the Introductions forum, wisdom from our Rosetta:

 

23 hours ago, Rosetta said:

People here haven't given up on you.  Very few people have any idea what to say to someone suffering as you are.  They don't realize that just a short message that says "I care." can be enough, and the more people it comes from the better.  (Thanks, Powerback!)

 

Try to not push your parents away.   They are in as much pain as you, I promise you.  Just say to them. "Thank you for trying to help me.  Thank you being here and for not giving up on me."  Keep thanking them for every little thing -- a plate of food, a check in, a concerned look.  They need to hear that.  This is how I deal with my husband to keep him from getting too discouraged.  

 

They may take that as an opening to start to talk about the drugs, but simply say "I know you love me.  Thank God for that.  I love you, too."  Don't argue with them; don't yell; don't throw things whatever you do.  Simply tell them, "After I took that pill you have no idea how it made me feel.  It made me feel MORE desperate, and I didn't think that was possible.  If sertraline causes that result, what would you have me do?  It feels like I'm taking a drug that makes me feel more despair."  (I had the same problem when my doctor gave me Xanax.  It made things worse.)

 

I was in just as much pain as you at one time.  I really was.  I got through it, and I'm so glad I did.  What you must remember is that you will get well, and any symptom could ease suddenly just like the PSSD did.  That was sudden, and relief from other symptoms may possibly be sudden, too.  You must hold on and wait for that to happen.

 

Now, I need to take a step back and care for myself.  I'll be back when I can.  Re-read the messages above when you need to.  

 

[MissDee]

Wow .... I'm SO invested and worried about my son, that it's affecting MY health.

 

I love him SO much, and it's killing me he's suffering SO much!

 

I flew to him 3 times to help, and drove across the US to be with him for 3 months.

 

But sadly I had to return, and it broke my heart to leave him.

 

I just don't understand parents not caring.

[Ryder]

On 1/20/2018 at 3:59 AM, PatriciaM said:

My family doesn't want to know period. My son asked me a few years back not to take my meds in front of his friends because he was ashamed. My parents don't want to hear about my medication nor my illness. As for my partner, he says this is all in my head and that I could stop taking Effexor right away if I really wanted to. So instead of arguing, I deal with it in silence. None of them needs to know and even though sometimes it's hard not to be supported by my loved ones, I won't let them bring me down either. For me, each bead of Effexor I don't swallow is a small victory and that's what matters for now. 

 

I have the same problem. You know what makes it worse for me is when I was tapering down my benzo, my anxiety was so high i couldn't be around people take public transport or, even, go outside. Then back to my usual dose I step outside, I am still ditsy and woozy but its like where was that dread i was feeling that kept me inside. I know i feel better because i have come a long way down of the meds and I am able to be in contact and engage more in society. But gee whiz, I have people in my family who really care about me that say why cant you get over this? Stop taking the meds. Hell i even went to India and sat at the foot of a master to overcome this. But i recognise all good things come in time, I always think to myself that the evidence will eventually come out. Just like with tobacco companies, barbituates and old medicine, new medicine is no different.

 

I think that what was said here, instead of arguing just to ignore is the best way to deal with that.

 

Quote

But sadly I had to return, and it broke my heart to leave him.

 

I just don't understand parents not caring.

 

My mum doesn't want to hear about it anymore. But you have to live your life to and that's what I have found. You don't have to physically be near him or it might feel suffocating. Now i contact my mum once a week if that by phone and all is fine. This is bcoz a) i can't have my mum do everything for me, i am in my 20s. b) I find that my mum cannot fill all the needs, in my life. This is where contact with others might help. Like you have certain friends/associates that you can talk to about certain issues and they fill what is required for you to live your life.

[lalala]

I already feel really guilty about not going to the hospital to see my father he lives in another city and getting there is difficult but will try, my sister says if i make the effort it will be ok wth? my brother says the same even though I feel  so crappy I can barely make food sometimes... they say I have to make an effort... it breaks my heart to be ill from these drugs and I also live alone I beg I can do this by myself....My family triggers me  because they can be very nasty

[mom2mkld]

On 1/19/2016 at 3:07 PM, maria323 said:

I gave my family the recovery-road.org website. There's some good videos and Do's and Don'ts for caregivers of people going through withdrawal.

The videos are gone- unavailable now

[manymoretodays]

10 hours ago, mom2mkld said:

The videos are gone- unavailable now

 

Hi mom,  and yah I saw that.  The recovery-road website still is good though.  With written information for caregivers.

I found this one- video, an interview with caregiver of someone, who had been on benzo's, and went through WD.  12.44 minutes and  I thought it was pretty good!

 

[mom2mkld]

Thank you, manymore. I will watch after I get off the phone.  

[mom2mkld]

I just watched it together with my husband.  He just now got home from work.  After watching he fell asleep.  We’ll see.  I feel zero support right now.  But my husband has two drugged people - myself and my son.  And all feels so hopeless to me. He gave me another lecture this morning before he left for work. A bunch of common sense, that I know in my head but cannot do or grasp and the more he continues to interrupt me and lecture me, the more I feel as though I am a problem and a complete failure and don’t even want to be alive.  He would be better off if I were to die and he could find a good wife who is not so helpless.  This is a nightmare.  My oldest daughter has blocked me out of her life and my two granddaughters’ lives again.  She unblocked me and let me in her life for a few wonderful months.  One disagreement and she blocked me, put me back in her box and up on a shelf- away from her and my granddaughters.  It would be better if I were dead than to live like this.  

[mom2mkld]

Did not help. My daughter has blocked me again out of her life and my granddaughters’ lives.  My husband still lectures me every day.  He was lecturing me this morning about being negative I had to plug ears and talk over him so I couldn’t hear him because he’s pushing me over the edge.  Feel everyone is against me.  Sent video to my family. No one cares.  No one cares. I am abandoned and alone.  

[ChessieCat]

This has been added to Post #1 of this topic:

 

PRINT OUT:

  

46 minutes ago, Shep said:

From CEPUK, 9/24/2020:

 

Major milestone: Royal College releases new guidance on stopping antidepressants

 

And here is the leaflet from Royal College of Psychiatry website: 

 

Stopping antidepressants

 

Might be useful to print out and take to doctors ignorant of withdrawal. May also be helpful for helping family members understand. 

 

 

[Nosummer]

I don’t know if this is the right place to post this. I’m going to need my wisdom teeth removed and the complications for a person over 30 are scary (like permanent nerve damage scary). I tried talking to my family but they talked down to me and finally my Mom “shoosh-ed” me twice and I snapped and yelled at her to to stop doing that. 

 

She and my father flipped out. She claimed I had no respect for her and that I had no idea how awful what I did was. 
 

It’s my irritability, it’s been high lately with the withdrawal. I tried to explain that but she just tilted her head and said well wasn’t that just “the perfect excuse for my behavior”. 
 

I don’t know what to do without them. I can’t make this journey without their support. I’ve driven them away and I feel so alone.

 

I’m scared.