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Hibari

Hibari: tapering Remeron and want to start tapering Lamicatal

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Hibari

Free Spirit, I also wanted to support you as you put one foot in front of the other.    It reminds me of when I was in therapy and working very hard on an issue, when all of a sudden I had an experience where I handled it differently.   Not perfectly or smoothly but definitely differently.    I'm thinking and hoping we all will experience that more consistently. 

 

Wishing you a peaceful rest of the day or night. 

 

H

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Hibari

So emotional today, crying deeply all afternoon and still feel sad and some depression.  Had hot flashes throughout the day. 

 

One of those days where I feel I am back to being depressed and won't recover.  Some slight nausea but it's mainly the emotional turmoil that freaks me out.  I am holding on all meds till I stabilize. 

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Hibari

Not as emotional today but definitely feeling some depression and anxiety.

 

On top of that, ran into a neighbor who remarked "you've put on weight".  I said, yes I was very thin before.  She said, 'that's what happens when you get sick".  To be fair, she had seen me during the height of my anxiety and depression when my weight did drop.  She didn't say it to be mean, she just said what she saw.   

 

Being on Mirt/remeron has made me feel so fat and slow.   I know it's supposed to change once you get off but on top of that, I am in menopause and so everything is in the mix. 

I have to be careful because even though I am feeling some pretty intense wd symptoms, being uncomfortable in my body is the worst.  I am not inactive, walk a lot but I think I need to get some more vigorous cardio of some kind going. 

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freespirit

The weight gain on AD in general, is horrible. I think Remeron is supposed to be one of the worst for putting on weight. Why does anyone think it's helpful to tell you that you've put on weight? Like you have somehow not realized that? And that you don't already feel bad enough about it?? Maybe it isn't a mean intention, but I don't think it's a very helpful one.

 

It's also tough in WD adding more intensive exercise. A lot of times, the nervous system just won't allow it. It's taken me over 6 months to increase bike riding from 5 minutes to over an hour. And some days, I need to ride slow and not push myself much. Other times, I can be more vigorous. But I don't find I can consistently do intense exercise, meaning it's a very long and slow process to increase fitness and encourage more weight loss. But it can be done..it just takes time.

 

Thanks for your good wishes on my well-being. I had a more emotional day yesterday too, but it was good to actually be able to cry. Today's been a bit easier on that count.

 

I think staying where you are on the meds for now sounds like a good plan. It's so tempting to speed things along, but there are so many consequences to doing that....slow and steady. Try to be kind to yourself. You're doing the best you can for now...and things can and do change in time.

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leahy

Hibari said, "I have to be careful because even though I am feeling some pretty intense wd symptoms, being uncomfortable in my body is the worst.  I am not inactive, walk a lot"

 

Freespirit said, "Why does anyone think it's helpful to tell you that you've put on weight? Like you have somehow not realized that? And that you don't already feel bad enough about it?? Maybe it isn't a mean intention, but I don't think it's a very helpful one."

 

So comforting to me to read these lines today as I am feeling like a blob with a headache, whom nobody even recognizes anymore. I am biding my time and hoping for the best. So extremely uncomfortable in my own skin.

 

Maybe next summer we'll be thin, well, happy and free!

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freespirit

(((((hugs)))) Leahy. It's awful when you can't recognize yourself and are feeling so much discomfort.

 

While I'm not as much at ease in my body at the moment, it's so much better than a year ago. I've lost 47 of the 70 pounds I gained, and am fitter than I've been in over a decade. This is my revenge on the doctors and pharma....doing my best to live as well as I can. 

 

Hang in there...with time and some effort, things do get better.

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Hibari

Free Spirit  "The weight gain on AD in general, is horrible. I think Remeron is supposed to be one of the worst for putting on weight."  

 

It is Free Spirit and it's not because of the hunger piece.  When I first started taking it and that strong artificial hunger came up, I did not give into it.  I knew it was false and somehow would be able to ignore it.  Remeron slows your metabolism down as so many antidepressants do.

 

Leahy, "I am biding my time and hoping for the best. So extremely uncomfortable in my own skin".   Yes, it's a weird feeling because I feel so puffy and soft.   I have read that in other places on the internet.

 

Free Spirit  "I've lost 47 of the 70 pounds I gained, and am fitter than I've been in over a decade."  I find this so comforting-when I am stable, I do remember that the body can heal.  

I'm glad you are feeling a bit easier after you emotional day.

 

It was very good for me to read both your posts and hear your support. 

 

You both are not alone. 

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Hibari

Just needed to share that I am so physically sick today.  I woke up sweating with a bad headache, nausea and anxiety.   My last cut is really hitting me.  I am going to see if it lifts as the day goes on and if not, I may reinstate a tiny bit.   I would like to ride it out if I can so I am holding that intention.  My body might have other ideas but I am going to give it a try. 

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leahy

Hi Hibari,

 

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling so sick. There seems to be no way around getting sick when we make a cut. Ginger (even ginger ale) helps the nausea a bit. I haven't found anything that helps the headache - just time and a good night's sleep. The more/better I sleep the better I feel. I think there's a strong connection between the effect remeron has on sleep that makes us so sick.

 

I find a small dose of melatonin as Alto suggests is helpful to me . I take 1.5 mg because I already have 3 mg capsules from The Road Back people. I figured I might as well break in half and use them.  Trader Joe's has .5 mg tablets. I have been amazed how well this works. I also make a magnesium drink "Calm" before bed. I'm not sure if the mag works but I figure it's worth a try for me. My doctor recommended the magnesium for the headaches.

 

I know each minute of the day is excruciating when we feel like you do today. I hope you feel better. Remember, be patient, give yourself time to heal. 

 

My son says "That's terrible - You KNOW you are going to get sick every time you make a cut and you do it anyway. That's so brave. Why do doctors prescribe these things to people?!"

 

The day will pass slowly for you today. Hang in there. You can do this. Hugs. Hugs. And more hugs.

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Hibari

Leahy Thank you so much for your words. As the day went on I felt better. I was reading posts on the Beyond Meds site just to confirm how much these meds make us sick.

 

As I was resting today I was thinking before I went on medication, I rarely took any medication. I was so sensitive I could feel the effects of anything going into my body. I was far from perfect and drove my body into the ground and then collapsed. But it makes sense now that I along with everyone else would feel the WD so acutely.

 

I appreciate your kind thoughts and I agree with your son, it is brave what we are doing.

 

So I am not going to reinstate and go forward.

 

Hugs back to you.

H

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freespirit

As I was resting today I was thinking before I went on medication, I rarely took any medication. I was so sensitive I could feel the effects of anything going into my body. I was far from perfect and drove my body into the ground and then collapsed. But it makes sense now that I along with everyone else would feel the WD so acutely.

 

 

 

I can relate to this so much. Prior to going on AD, I rarely took any medication..as I suffered from side effects. I also did not do the best taking care of myself over the years and ended up paying the price.

 

I find one of the most distressing aspects of wd is when the noise of the symptoms is so loud, I have no way of knowing what's happening in my body...or what to do to ease the discomfort..and of course, sometimes, what to do is nothing at all. There have been periods since jumping off that I feel much more connected..but then, it's always followed by a period of being lost. I hope one day, for that aspect to be more stable again.

 

I think all we can do is keep plodding along, and dealing as best we can, with the multitude of symptoms that appear and disappear. At least we're not alone while doing it..and I think that means a lot.

 

Thanks for stopping by my thread too.

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Hibari

Free Spirit I find one of the most distressing aspects of wd is when the noise of the symptoms is so loud, I have no way of knowing what's happening in my body...or what to do to ease the discomfort..and of course, sometimes, what to do is nothing at all. There have been periods since jumping off that I feel much more connected..but then, it's always followed by a period of being lost. I hope one day, for that aspect to be more stable again.

 

That is my experience too.  Today I woke up having a huge hot flash and my mood plummeted.  I kept saying, once this passes you will feel better.  Well I was able to get up and function but my mood is all over the place.  I hate not knowing what symptoms are caused by what.  I feel so scared that I have lost my health and will never get it back.  I am trying to hang tight and not make any hormonal adjustments till I am medication free but then I get confused because I know a lot of my depression was related to my endocrine system being tasked because my menopause (still going on) symptoms have been so bad.  I feel flat and also a low level of sadness-so odd to feel both at the same time.

 

Am nauseous today as well so am thinking it's withdrawal related.   In a funny way, that's what makes me feel a bit more in control with all the out of control symptoms of withdrawal.  If I am nauseous I know it's withdrawal and hopefully that is why I am sad.

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freespirit

I understand the fears about not being able to regain full health. I wrestle with that too. In my lower moments, I fear that the AD will have had such a detrimental effect on me, that I will never fully recover. At other times, I feel more positive and hopeful.

 

Sad and flat would describe my recent experience too...with a bit of anger thrown in here and there.

 

I think we will recover. It's just very hard to hold to that, when buried with symptoms day after day. The WD itself makes you feel like the future will just be more of the same...it narrows the field of what's possible. I try to focus on the positive as much as I can, while still allowing the other feelings to move through.

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Hibari

I am trying to stay positive too, though again I woke up with the big hot flash, and then a generally low grade depression, sadness and anxiety.   I was able to go to gentle yoga class and it was okay, but I did fall into the compare and despair mode.  On the outside people seem upbeat and happy but then again, I must appear that way too. 

 

I have to accept that I am in a window and have been since this last cut and even the time before.  I am not sobbing like I was but I haven't experienced the days of feeling more upbeat. My mood tends to get better as the day goes along but I will have trouble accepting that I will have this pattern forever.  

 

I just looked at my signature and see that I am only a week into the last cut of Remeron.   I know that I broke down sobbing on August 2nd, just non stop crying and now it has shifted into flat and sad.   I hope I move into a window soon.  I will say I am nearly as low as when I went on Remeron and Lamictal, ,which is a good thing.

 

Free Spirit, I watched the videos yesterday in the forum symptoms and self care called "Withdrawal dialogues and encouragement.    I found them sweet and comforting.  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8631-withdrawal-dialogues-encouragement/

 

 

 

Leahy, if you read this you may like them too.

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leahy

Good job, Hibari! Thank you for the videos.

 

I'm reading your thread but have a headache and feel nauseous. I don't have the where with all to write. I need to eat protein. I think that will help a bit.Try getting some sun and pretend to be happy. Fake it till you make it. :-) Well, it's worth a try...

 

Some days it's all we can do - to fake it.

 

L

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freespirit

Thanks for the videos...I found that thread helpful too.

 

At times, it's really difficult for me to be around other people much. My life has never been normal, but I'm so far from what used to be normal for me. Seeing people getting on with their lives--work, play, relationships, etc....sometimes feels like a knife to my heart. Turning 60 seemed to increase this for me. I know that's not "old"...but it's a reminder that I don't have forever.

 

I know that everyone not in WD has things they are dealing with...but perhaps their entire lives are not devastated and they are not controlled by whims of their healing nervous system.

 

Sorry..probably not that helpful. I'm not too upbeat right now either.

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Hibari

I'm sorry you have a headache and are nauseous Leahy, I know how hard that is to deal with.   I am hoping it will pass as you get some protein in you.  

 

I realize I meant to say wave in my previous post, not window-definitely not a window.

 

I feel a little better now, still some anxiety and rumination but am going to try and stay busy.

 

H

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leahy

Hibari and Freespirit,

 

I feel very sick with this horrible headache BUT I met my friend for a casual lunch in the Town Square. Yes, Hibari, protein is what I needed. We sat at a picnic bench outside as everyone does at this place, waiting for the buzzer to go off for our food - RIGHT NEXT to Paul McCartney, his daughters and grandchildren. Woo hoo! That made my day I have to say. My friend and I sat there cool, calm, and collected just chatting away. For those few moments I was no longer focused on my pain. Life has to get so much better for us. You never know what wonderful things can happen on a random Thursday.

 

It would have been so much nicer without this gripping vice of a headache but... I think tomorrow I'll get very excited about it and jump up and down.

 

L :)

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freespirit

that's pretty cool Leahy..well, seeing Paul McCartney and having lunch with your friend..not so much for the headache. I had some terrible ones while tapering and when I first jumped off....they sometimes went on for days. You have my sympathies. Thankfully, mine got better when I lowered histamine in my diet. 

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leahy

that's pretty cool Leahy..well, seeing Paul McCartney and having lunch with your friend..not so much for the headache. I had some terrible ones while tapering and when I first jumped off....they sometimes went on for days. You have my sympathies. Thankfully, mine got better when I lowered histamine in my diet. 

Hi Freespirit,

 

I thought I was the only one with the terrible headaches. I don't hear people complaining about headaches as much as I do. Do you think it's a histamine problem? Did you feel nauseous also? Could you suggest where I would begin reading about lowering histamine in my diet. I do think I read your thread but I forgot... I forget lots of things these days. 

 

Am I hijacking Hibari's thread with my questions? Sorry if that's true, Hibari. I hope you're feeling better today. 

 

Paul McCartney - 2 ft away at the next picnic table! I do love that British accent.  :)

 

L

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freespirit

Hi Leahy, 

 

Oops if we are hijacking Hibari's thread. I think some of us who have been on Remeron notice problems with histamine, given its antihistamine properties. I can't say for sure if it's true for you or not. It's a trial and error kind of thing. I think my headaches were worse while tapering. I had migraines at times, including the type where you have the visual issues, without the headache itself. I had a lot of nausea as well. Both of those things improved dramatically with lowering histamine..along with some other symptoms. 

 

Here's the thread on histamine intolerance: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3503-histamine-food-intolerance/ There are some links on that thread to beyond meds, the low histamine chef, and another site. I may have lowered too dramatically at first. The low histamine chef now emphasizes more eating an anti-inflammatory diet, rather than just trying to reduce histamine. I eliminated dairy, wheat, and sugar, along with some of the higher histamine veggies like tomatoes and spinach. I couldn't tolerate any spices initially. It seems like people react differently to the foods considered high or low in histamine. It takes some trying and tweaking and sometimes, you just don't know what is causing symptoms. Digestion itself creates histamine. I've done better by eating smaller portions, as well as trying to drink more water..and avoiding eating a lot of leftovers. 

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leahy

Thank you very much for that information Freespirit. It makes sense for us Remeron survivors. We've been taking a strong antihistamine for a long time... I will look into a low histamine diet more carefully. 

 

Hugs to you and Hibari.

 

Leahy

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Hibari

Hi Leahy and Free Spirit,

 

You aren't high jacking my thread at all!  I am very interested in the histamine discussion.   I want to pay attention to that as well.

 

I know we all have been having some hard days and days with Paul McCartney and  it's so good to know I have your understanding.   I am sending you both hugs and support for what you are going through.   

 

 

I did wake up today feeling better and I am hoping I am moving into a window.  When I woke up last night, before I officially woke up I made sure I took some L-Theanine, which has helped me with my anxiety and kept taking it throughout the day.  I have had a few intermittent moments of sadness and anxiety but the majority of the day I was doing pretty well.  We are away so my normal routine is not in place, which can put me in my head but I am tying to simply notice that its important to have a purpose and healthy routine.

 

 Wishing you both peace in body and mind.

 

Hibari

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leahy

Thank you, Hibari. I hope you are in a window. It sounds like L-Theanine might be helping you. I'll have to try that again. I haven't noticed a difference when taking theanine but I was only taking one in the evening.

 

I read a little about histamine and ordered Nigella Sativa Gia talks about in her thread.  Maybe the histamine problem provokes the headaches...

 

I cut back to 15 mg three days ago. At first it was an accidental decrease by me because I broke the pill unevenly so I decided to keep going with half a 30 mg. So far I do not have a terrible headache today but it's only 9:18 AM. I feel like I am wearing a hot, though that's a little too tight.

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Hibari

Wow Leahy, 15mgs, you are moving along and I support you in your determination.   It's so funny that you said you took less by accident.  I too took less of my Lamictal two nights ago by accident and decided to move down a half step.  I was on 175mgs, accidently forgot to take a 25mg pill so the next night cut the 25mg in half and am now taking. 162.50.  I was going to hold at 150 but my Remeron taper has been bumpy and I didn't want to tax my nervous system too much.  I too have had a headache and some nausea for the past two days but tolerable.

 

Regarding the L-Theanine, my psychiatrist recommended that I take either 3, 100mgs 3x a day or 3 200mgs 3 x a day.  I tend to take the 200mgs 2x a day but sometimes none and sometimes more.  I am taking the 200mgs about 3 x a day because of the increased anxiety I feel as my medication drops.

 

I will look up the supplement that Gia talks about.

 

We can do this!

 

H

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leahy

Thanks for your support, Hibari. It means a lot to me. We shall see how I do with the 15 mg drop. As you know, this can be a rollercoaster ride. 

 

I am going to try the L-Theanine for anxiety the way your psychiatrist recommends. Thanks for that information. I also have anxiety to deal with as I reduce meds. Then I worry about worrying, worry about not sleeping, worry about being over-stimulated... I feel best when I'm in my pajamas and don't have to see anyone for the rest of the day.

 

I walked to town today, got my 10,000 steps in. Organized some things around the house. Then met my cousin at the beach for some pre-meditated sun for my pineal gland and vitamin D.

 

The thing that keeps me going is the thought of being comfortable in my own skin again, with energy and enthusiasm to enjoy life.

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Hibari

Yes, you have my support!   It definitely is a roller coaster ride but you can do it. 

 

I also should say because I think that it's an important issue on this site, that my experience with L-Theanine is not a medical suggestion on my part.  I think you know that but I wanted to make sure that by posting it, I am only sharing my reaction to it and where the recommendation came from.  :)

 

I too am looking forward to feeling enthusiasm about life.  That's what I really miss the most.  I am so much better than I was but that is the piece that is missing, joy and optimism.  I feel kinda disconnected from myself, functioning, able to socialize but kinda removed and aware that I am removed.  It's a weird feeling. 

 

I'm doing ok, I seem to handling the small Lamictal taper, just some remaining nausea and slight headache. 

 

Glad you are getting some sunshine and congratulations on getting your 10, 000 steps in.  It's a big deal to do that when we are feeling well and from my perspective, an even bigger deal to do when in WD.   

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leahy

"I also should say because I think that it's an important issue on this site, that my experience with L-Theanine is not a medical suggestion on my part.  I think you know that but I wanted to make sure that by posting it, I am only sharing my reaction to it and where the recommendation came from.   :)"

 

You are correct, Hibari. I completely understand that L-Theanine is not a medical suggestion on your part.  Getting "steps" in is a challenge on a good day. Some days it's impossible.

 

I am thinking of you this morning because I woke up in a sweat. I am still soaking wet but it's only 69 degrees in here and now I'm cold. I'm going to start taking Nigella Sativa black seed oil today to see if that helps some symptoms particularly headache. If it stopped the sweats it would be a miracle. I haven't read up much on the sweats. I guess Ive just been accepting getting super hot since it does pass. I used to just get REALLY cold. 

 

Have a great (OK "a good") day! Good would be great.  :)

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Hibari

I have read somewhere on this site that sweating is the body or brain trying to regulate and detox.    If that's true, your body sounds like it's trying to help you regulate. 

 

I am going to either drop my Remeron or Lamictal at the top of next week.  I feel I am more stable now and that's my plan-will let my body tell me. 

 

Have a good rest of the evening.

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Hibari

Not feeling so good today.  For the past two days I have woken up in a stupor, could sleep till noon, but made myself get up.  Then at around 5:30-6:00PM I fall asleep on the couch.

I know that Remeron is more sedating as the dose gets lower it's hard to handle.  I also take my Lamictal at night (space them out by about 4 hours) and that also makes me tired.  My mom died when she was 88 and I feel like someone who is old, frail and vulnerable. 

 

It just reminds me how I knew in January/February of this year, how I was over medicated.  I had the same out of it feeling but now there is more anxiety, which I know is withdrawal.

I also am sneezing more and have a runny nose.  We just got back from upstate and there were trees around.  It is  probably is the combination of that and the antihistamine effects of Remeron getting less potent as I go lower.  

 

I am doing micro tapers and definitely feel them as I do.  So again, I have to stabilize before the next tiny cut.  I haven't felt the Lamictal cuts so acutely and in writing this will probably hold my next Remeron cut and make a Lamictal cut instead.  Heading back to acupuncture/reflexology this week after being away for 2 weeks.  Looking forward to that support. 

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leahy

I remember now how acupuncture/reflexology was helpful to you in the past. That is sure to help you feel better. It is so difficult to cut medication when you get sick from it. I'm sorry you are feeling yucky. Sleep is critical. Sleeping as much as possible has to help. I have not found the lower doses of remeron to be sedating. Unfortunately. I was looking forward to that part since many of my issues are sleep related.

 

I think when we have been used to having a strong antihistamine every day for years (for me 17 years) our bodies would be sensitive to the onset of histamine effects. Maybe that's why you're sneezing? I was also sneezing a lot but that has stopped. 

 

I still feel pretty good except I feel swollen and puffy. I am amazed. When I feel good I don't even think "Oh how nice - I feel good today." However when I feel bad, I can't think about anything else except I feel so bad. Interesting. I actually forgot the things you are describing today and I have felt the way you are feeling. If you can sleep through any of that, maybe it would be helpful.

 

I can't help but wonder if it's the black seed oil that's helping me. Sorry to be repetitive but it is mind boggling. Could I be getting my freedom back? I feel like I am being held hostage by remeron. I am thinking about making another cut soon. I just want to be sure I am really well before I do. Sometimes I also feel old, frail and vulnerable, like you said. Keep putting one foot in front of the other - one step at a time, one day at a time, one month at a time... I hope tomorrow is a better day, Hibari. You are not old and frail. You are beautiful and strong.

 

L

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Hibari

Thank you Leahy, I appreciate your words today.

 

May I ask how much of the black seed oil you are taking each time?  I know we are all different but I am curious about the dose.

 

I am going to my health food store tomorrow to get some.

 

I understand the swollen, puffy feeling.   My clothes are tight and I just have to hang on till I am off the Remeron.  

 

I actually want to stay awake instead of sleeping.  I slept so much when I was depressed and at the height of my medications.  Even though I have to drink 3 cups of coffee (half cups) I will do it just to be in the world.  

 

So glad you are feeling good Leahy!

 

Hibari

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leahy

Thank you Leahy, I appreciate your words today.

 

May I ask how much of the black seed oil you are taking each time?  I know we are all different but I am curious about the dose.

 

I am going to my health food store tomorrow to get some.

 

I understand the swollen, puffy feeling.   My clothes are tight and I just have to hang on till I am off the Remeron.  

 

I actually want to stay awake instead of sleeping.  I slept so much when I was depressed and at the height of my medications.  Even though I have to drink 3 cups of coffee (half cups) I will do it just to be in the world.  

 

So glad you are feeling good Leahy!

 

Hibari

Hi H,

 

I started by taking 1 teaspoon of Black seed oil. in the morning. Now I take  swig in the morning and a swig in the evening. I think the swig is about a teaspoonful.  I ordered Amazing Herbs Black Seed cold-pressed Black cumin seed oil from Amazon. Not that I'm recommending that brand. I know I appreciate the details when buying something new, so I'm sharing my info. Gia has a great (SA) thread on histamine intolerance. I was inspired by Gia's experience with a low histamine diet.

 

My original problem was a sleep disorder so I have experienced difficulty sleeping. Remeron did help me sleep so now I might be overly concerned, cautious and careful about making sure I sleep enough. I even monitor my sleep with a Fitbit. Not sleeping can be a huge problem for me.

 

L

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Hibari

Feeling sick for the second day in a row.  Woke up with a hot flash, headache, nausea, low grade depression and anxiety.   I am making micro cuts and had not come down since late July?

 

I think that's right.  I am functional now but that first hour in the morning is scary.

 

I am thinking of having my liquid Mirtazpaine switch so that 1 mg = 1 ml.   I am trying to figure out how much each cut I am making is in mg.   Fresh had helped me out when I said I was using a 4ml syringe and that 7ml = 28 mg.  I think she said that was 0.2 cut?  I am now at the line just below 6ml, which I assumed was about 23mgs.  I am writing this out to figure it out in my head.

 

I think I will call the compounding pharmacist and ask them if they can do a 1ml prescription.

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Hibari

I am feeling better today, was able to work for a couple of hours last night, which was good.  When I focus on other people or activities, my energy shifts.   

 

The funny think is that having a better day means not being acutely ill or despondent.  I am grateful that I feel better and I also notice my emotional flatness.  It's as if I am wearing a hat on my emotions.  Stability is the key for me right now though I long for a feeling of excitement or even a version of my old ambition.  

 

I have lots of creative things I want to do and am trying to take steps towards them but at times it is a battle to find the energy.  I read in David Burn's book, Feeling Good, that we don't necessarily wake up feeling inspired but that by doing things we feel inspired.  He is cognitive behavioral therapist and doctor, and while I am not a fan of that form of therapy, I do agree with his assessment of inspiration.  I know I felt better last night when I was using my skills and shifting my energy away from the constant mulling over my emotional/physical state

 

I know that the mulling is part of wd and because my brain is compromised at the moment, the ability to move past my rumination is part of the issue.  My brain, yesterday was preoccupied with not having the normal amount of medication along with my CNS trying to balance it's self.  I felt the same feeling I had when I, unknowingly tried to wean of Clonazapam.  I had been taking  between .25 and .50 for about 10 months after being prescribed Xanax for my hyper state when I tried Lexapro.   I got myself down to .12mgs and then tried to go off, having no idea about wd.  I was in such a keening state for that drug and that's how I felt yesterday, tense and a noticeable physical craving.

 

But I want to end with gratitude for feeling stable again today and acknowledge the strength I have to get through days like yesterday.

 

I feel we all need to be acknowledge for our strength during this very stressful experience.

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