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Hibari: tapering Remeron and want to start tapering Lamictal


Hibari

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10 hours ago, Rabe said:

I am thinking about you Hibari and am so hoping some better days are coming soon for you.  You have been dealing with so much and have remained so strong.  Take care of you...let us know how you are doing!  Hoping you are home and resting well. 💜

Thank you Rabe. 

I did rest and sleep last night. 

I have my usual morning anxiety and also feel some sadness from the experience.  Sad that I was so physically compromised and had to take extra medication. I do feel hungover from it with a headache today. 

 

But I felt too unsafe and the steepness of my Lamical taper was hitting me too hard. Too many days of not sleeping and then the  suffering from it. 

 

I'm determined to keep going on my taper and do everything I can to work on sleep and the anxiety caused by the tapering on my nervous system. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Tuesday, 12/11/18                       Day 18 of Restatement

Morning Cortisol Spike:               Sweating, headache, head pressure

8:00Am   75 mgs Thyroid

8:30Am 0.10 Lamictal              Feel a little speedy but not much

11-1                                             Depressed and frustrated about this process, call a friend and cry

1PM                                            Go to Salvation Army and donate clothes, go to grocery store, 30 minute walk in total

1:30PM 0.10 Lamictal              A little speedy

1-5             1 200mg mag         Bad headache all day, feeling frustrated by all of this.

5:30PM                                      Take 1 aspirin

6:30PM   0.10mgs Lamictal    feel some low grade speediness

9:30Pm                                    Start to feel hyper, cortisol surges

10:00      1 200mgs Mag    

11:00PM                                  Still can't relax, feel mental and physically exhausted

12:30AM                                  Start to feel mentally panicky and unstable, feel scared about the physical and emotional pain

1:30AM  Take 2 mg Valium   Not effective
 

Wednesday, 12/12/18          Day 19 of Reinstatement

4:30AM   Take 2 mg Valium   Not Effective

8:00AM    Take 2 mg Valium  not effective

8:30 AM 0.10 Lamictal

Call brother and go to emergency room

10:30-3:00PM                           In emergency room, blood tests  normal, given to Ativan to relax, released from ER

1:30PM   0.10 Lamictal

6:30PM 0.10 Lamictal

7:00PM Dinner

9:30 Bed                                Sleep all night

 

Thursday, 12/13/18              Day 20 of Reinstatement

Morning Cortisol Spike:       Anxiety and Headache in morning

8:00AM  75 mgs Thryroid

8:30AM  0.10 Lamictal      

9:30-1:00PM                       Headache, nausea, depression

1:30Pm   0.10 Lamictal

Lunch   1 omega       

 

Very down about this whole process and feeling that I am truly an ill person.             

 

 

 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • Administrator

Why did you take the Valium? Why did you go to the emergency room?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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25 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Why did you take the Valium? Why did you go to the emergency room?

I was in physical and emotional anguish.  My mind was unable to think logically , I was shaking and trembling. I could not sit still, relax my mind or come up with any solution to stop my shaking. I tried many things and nothing could stop it. 

I felt scared I was losing my mind. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Hibari, You are experiencing what I did!!  I had that horrible anger when I was prescribed Xanax.  That's why I decided that I would not take it.  I felt calm right after taking it, and nearly sleepy at first, but hours later I became very angry.  It was really awful and scary.   It was some sort of after effect.  That's not supposed to happen.  I decided it was not safe.  That was before I found SA.  I'm glad I didn't get addicted.  

 

Hibari, you are going to have to "lose your mind."  It's the only way.  You must stop this process of kindling yourself, please.  You won't actually "lose your mind," of course.  It's going to be scary and awful and truly miserable, but after it happens a time or two you will realize that your mind is still there, and it has calmed down.  Eventually, you will figure out how to live through it without asking for "help" that is only making your condition worse.  Please toss out those pills!! You can't use them or you will not get better.  Please believe me.  You can't get better if you keep taking benzos or Valium.  You can only use the lamotrigine.

 

All my love, Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

Hibari, You are experiencing what I did!!  I had that horrible anger when I was prescribed Xanax.  That's why I decided that I would not take it.  I felt calm right after taking it, and nearly sleepy at first, but hours later I became very angry.  It was really awful and scary.   It was some sort of after effect.  That's not supposed to happen.  I decided it was not safe.  That was before I found SA.  I'm glad I didn't get addicted.  

 

Hibari, you are going to have to "lose your mind."  It's the only way.  You must stop this process of kindling yourself, please.  You won't actually "lose your mind," of course.  It's going to be scary and awful and truly miserable, but after it happens a time or two you will realize that your mind is still there, and it has calmed down.  Eventually, you will figure out how to live through it without asking for "help" that is only making your condition worse.  Please toss out those pills!! You can't use them or you will not get better.  Please believe me.  You can't get better if you keep taking benzos or Valium.  You can only use the lamotrigine.

 

All my love, Rosetta

Dear Rosetta,

 

I wasn't experiencing the trembling and anger because I was taking a benzo.  

 

My pattern has been:   

 

1 night of no sleep followed by 10 hours of akathisia-not the pacing around kind, the kind where you are physically frozen along with mental and emotional anguish.  Then finally I fall asleep and the next day  I am exhausted by what has happened the day before, so I can do nothing.   Then the night of trembling starts again often with massive head pressure, dry heaves now, and the inability to relax, which continues for 8-10 hours. 

 

This past week, I was so sick on Monday and fought like crazy not to take any benzo because believe it or not benzos aren't my thing.  Then because of being  so sick on Monday, I was depressed on Tuesday and then the episode where I could not sleep or use my mind to help me on Tuesday night.  

 

I'm not sure what you mean by let myself  lose my mind?  What would hold me in place while I lose my mind?   How do you lose your mind and stay intact? 

 

I can't take Bendadryl for sleep because I have a paradoxical reaction.  So what are my alternatives to endless nights of not sleeping accompanied by cortisol and adrenaline surges that do not allow me to drop off and follow me through the next day into the even?   Magnesium doesn't work and other supplements work intermittently. 

 

I cried when I took the Valium and cried when I took the Ativan.   I know I don't want to take them but I was terrified and felt unsafe in my home. 

 

Lamictal is a very strong medication and the fact that I had  move very quickly off of it due to a paradoxical reaction did me no favors in terms of tapering.   Like you, I did not jump off from a stable place.

 

So, I know you come from a loving place but my questions are:

 

What does losing my mind look like when I am all alone and feel unsafe?

What can stop the painful and endless akatheisa? Not the pacing kind but the kind that has you so physically tense you can't move. 

 

For me to go to an emergency room meant that my body had sounded an alarm that I was not safe in my home by myself. 

 

I have tried very hard to to a decent taper.  I got off of two major medications before this one but for some reason this medication has just defeated me in the last months. 

 

 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Hi Hibari...Rosetta is right...we cannot take more medications when our systems and minds are already so unstable...or we all would be doing that for sure right?  I encourage you to read about kindling here and/or on the internet...I think it would help you understand more of what is going on?  It helped me a lot about understanding why I was so sick after various meds re surgery and procedures, after my Clonazepam increase, tapering it,  Lamictal for depression (????) after which my whole system felt like various parts of it were surging at different times...etc..  It has been a nightmare and I have thought many times I would die, or I could not go on, I was losing  my mind...I had to do something.....so I went into a treatment center for 'help' and was put on an AD...another med.  So here I am tapering not one but 2 meds.  I would have been better to not increase doses, take any other meds...my system needed to rest and get well on its own.  GratefulIy I am still here...and I am better than I was back then.  I am not anywhere near where I was before it all...but Im better. 

Past number of days have been so awful.  I too am here alone, I have no support except the doctor and therapist who do not understand....and I have my friends here...THANK GOODNESS!  Sometimes I too do not feel safe...pacing, unable to sit,  unable to even FT on the phone, numb feelings, or utterly panicked and out of control, unable to do anything or go anywhere, horrible headaches, anxiety, agitation, no consistency to sleep, cancelled appts., rocking back and forth, talking to myself, feeling totally inadequate and unlovable, nausea, cant eat, anticipatory anxiety...it does feel unbearable much of the time.  A walk helps but then makes things worse.  If have a better day I do more and then I plunge back into feeling so so awful again instead of just bad.  

But today was better....TODAY was better....and I have been being grateful and thanking God over and over for this day that is some better.  IDK what tomorrow will be like..but today was better.

You have had better days HIbari..read back on your posts....you have had better days and better parts of days.  You have had the awful days we all talk about....but you do feel better again...and you will again...because you have.  I am trying to learn that if I have a good day it doesnt mean I am healed and can do and be what I was...I have to not stress my system...dont overdo, try to keep all stress down be it mental, emotional, physical, do what I can to reduce the stress which sometimes is nothing...nothing seems to help much.  Even keeping the stress down does not stop another wave but I believe it helps.

I am sharing this in hopes that you will feel you are not alone, you will know that others understand, that you have support and help, that you are cared so so much for you and about.  You are such a special person Hibari and stronger than you give yourself credit for. 

  Love and hugs to you Hibari.  Take care!!!  

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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  • Administrator

Hibari, since you went off clonazepam in September 2014, have you ever felt okay?

 

Did you ever feel "back to normal" while you were taking any dosage of lamotrigine?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
22 minutes ago, Rabe said:

Hi Hibari...Rosetta is right...we cannot take more medications when our systems and minds are already so unstable...or we all would be doing that for sure right?  I encourage you to read about kindling here and/or on the internet...I think it would help you understand more of what is going on?  It helped me a lot about understanding why I was so sick after various meds re surgery and procedures, after my Clonazepam increase, tapering it,  Lamictal for depression (????) after which my whole system felt like various parts of it were surging at different times...etc..  It has been a nightmare and I have thought many times I would die, or I could not go on, I was losing  my mind...I had to do something.....so I went into a treatment center for 'help' and was put on an AD...another med.  So here I am tapering not one but 2 meds.  I would have been better to not increase doses, take any other meds...my system needed to rest and get well on its own.  GratefulIy I am still here...and I am better than I was back then.  I am not anywhere near where I was before it all...but Im better. 

Past number of days have been so awful.  I too am here alone, I have no support except the doctor and therapist who do not understand....and I have my friends here...THANK GOODNESS!  Sometimes I too do not feel safe...pacing, unable to sit,  unable to even FT on the phone, numb feelings, or utterly panicked and out of control, unable to do anything or go anywhere, horrible headaches, anxiety, agitation, no consistency to sleep, cancelled appts., rocking back and forth, talking to myself, feeling totally inadequate and unlovable, nausea, cant eat, anticipatory anxiety...it does feel unbearable much of the time.  A walk helps but then makes things worse.  If have a better day I do more and then I plunge back into feeling so so awful again instead of just bad.  

But today was better....TODAY was better....and I have been being grateful and thanking God over and over for this day that is some better.  IDK what tomorrow will be like..but today was better.

You have had better days HIbari..read back on your posts....you have had better days and better parts of days.  You have had the awful days we all talk about....but you do feel better again...and you will again...because you have.  I am trying to learn that if I have a good day it doesnt mean I am healed and can do and be what I was...I have to not stress my system...dont overdo, try to keep all stress down be it mental, emotional, physical, do what I can to reduce the stress which sometimes is nothing...nothing seems to help much.  Even keeping the stress down does not stop another wave but I believe it helps.

I am sharing this in hopes that you will feel you are not alone, you will know that others understand, that you have support and help, that you are cared so so much for you and about.  You are such a special person Hibari and stronger than you give yourself credit for. 

  Love and hugs to you Hibari.  Take care!!!  

Rabe, I do know what kindling is and I have tried to avoid it as much as I can. 

I know people here are are trying to help and I am grateful.  

 

I don't know what else to say to explain my choice.  The endless two day pattern of no sleeping for 24 hours every other day drove me over the edge.  That pattern has been going on for 6 weeks.  

 

When husband works, I am by myself. I can barely get out but I try when I can.  I call friends, I call my sponsor, I cry. I watch tv, anything to distract myself.  I have no in person friends at this time.  

 

We are all so individual when it comes to our breaking point. When I was in the ER, despite  how tired, fragile and scared I was I did not allow a psychiatrist to bully me into any diagnosis.  

 

I get it about choosing the benzos, I got off of benzos in 2014.  But the power of this Lamictal withdrawal is crushing me.  

I have had one 4 hour window in all this time. The other days are me catching my breath after the akathisia days.  I will reread my thread from the time I jumped off to see if I am off base here. 

 

I still am determined to get off of Lamictal if my body has the stamina to do. 

 

Please know that I understand what you are all saying to me.  I'm not in denial nor do I want to harm my chances of healing.  I hope you too can understand that I was scared out of my mind when I made the choice and that my mind at the time was so exhausted by lack of sleep, it could not help me make another decision. 

 

I am doing more than the best I can. 

 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

Link to comment
14 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Hibari, since you went off clonazepam in September 2014, have you ever felt okay?

 

Did you ever feel "back to normal" while you were taking any dosage of lamotrigine?

Yes I have felt okay.  

 

I worked and had a life from 2015-till summer of 2018.  

 

I was in wd normal for most of that time when I was on Lamictal and Remeron.

After I got of Remedon in April, 2017 I continued working and staying in wd normal on Lamictal.

 

When I first took 25mgs of Lamictal in Septembee of 2014, which stopped the benzo wd, I felt calm.  

 

I hope I have answered your question. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • Administrator
6 minutes ago, Hibari said:

I worked and had a life from 2015-till summer of 2018.   

 

I was in wd normal for most of that time when I was on Lamictal and Remeron.

After I got of Remedon in April, 2017 I continued working and staying in wd normal on Lamictal.

 

When I first took 25mgs of Lamictal in Septembee of 2014, which stopped the benzo wd, I felt calm.

 

25mg Lamictal seems to have been beneficial for a while. When did you start to have a paradoxical reaction to Lamictal?

 

Is it possible you recently forgot to take a dose or two of Lamictal? Has your liquid gotten old and lost potency?

 

The thyroid hormone still needs follow-up. Are you still using progesterone?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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12 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

25mg Lamictal seems to have been beneficial for a while. When did you start to have a paradoxical reaction to Lamictal?

 

Is it possible you recently forgot to take a dose or two of Lamictal? Has your liquid gotten old and lost potency?

 

The thyroid hormone still needs follow-up. Are you still using progesterone?

 

My dose was raised from 25mgs to 200mgs. In fact I remember telling my psychiatrist that I felt fine at 100mgs but he said to raise it according to blood test results. (I didn't know any better)  

 

It got paradoxical in the summer when 1. I changed the delivery method. Had been weighing pillsx didnt feel it was consistent. Took a suggestion for chopping a bunch up tablets and weighing them capsules.  Got speedy and sick from the fillers.  Tried water titration, which also made me sick. 

2. Made an updose, which didnt work in early Septemer. Came back down. Moved back to tablets in 4 divided doses.  Worked okay but then started getting hyper ehen I took the doses.

 

Haven't missed doses but I do think my batch got old. Just got a fresh bottle today 

 

Still using progesterone but not daily any more.

 

Yes, understand about thyroid.  Will make an appointment and hope I can keep it.  

 

My Lamictal is now 0.30 in 3 divided doses of 0.10 at  8:30, 1:30, 6:30. 

 

Thank you Alto. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • Administrator
17 minutes ago, Hibari said:

Haven't missed doses but I do think my batch got old. Just got a fresh bottle today 

 

This could explain your sudden increase in symptoms. Please keep an eye on the expiration date and make sure to replace it ahead of time.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi Hibari...you don't have anything to explain.  I do understand...we all have to do what we have to for ourselves, especially to feel safe.  I just wanted to share because I care so much and so hope for you to find some relief!!!  I am grateful that you are feeling at all better.  You are so so strong and determined!!!  When I look at your signature...where you were and where you are now...it is remarkable.  I do hope you give yourself a ton of credit for the fortitude it has taken to accomplish that!!!  You are getting better...and you are a true gift we can all learn from . What I think is wonderful too is your honesty...you have shared everything and I think that helps you and helps the rest of us as well.  I am so grateful for you!!!  Holding you in my thoughts and prayers Hibari!!!💜

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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I know, Hibari.  It is awful that there is no way out but through horrendous suffering.  I know.  I certainly don't blame you.  I don't think you are failing or you are weak or you are whatever other terms people who have never experienced this might come up with in their ignorance.  I simply know that each pill keeps you in your suffering and lengthens it and intensifies it.  I want you to get through this part and move on to healing, but that's going to take some determination to be absolutely terrified and in pain and in mental anguish for periods of time.  It will be worth it!!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Deae Rosetta and Rabe,

 If anyone could give me a solution for sleeping, it would make a difference.  And that's the issue, there is nothing that guarantees it. 

 

I did not sleep.last night again and now face another day of exhaustion and trembling. 

 

That's what I'm facing every othe day. 

 

From.what I have read on both of your threads, you are sleeping. Maybe not a lot but some hours nightly. I am not and its affecting my mental state.  

 

And my mental anguish had been going on since September. Since then I have lost many things.  I dont know what else to do. 

 

I know you both have and do struggle tremendously and I feel for you. 

 

I also know you care about me, and I appreciate it.  But I'm looking for relief on something that encouragement will not solve. I need something more than that right now.  That's the part I'm trying to have you understand.

 

Tone is hard to read in text but please knkw my tone is one of deep upset for what I am going through. 

 

Bottom line, I need to be able to drop off at night or in the day to heal. 

 

8 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

This could explain your sudden increase in symptoms. Please keep an eye on the expiration date and make sure to replace it ahead of time.

Ok. Yes I will see if it makes a difference.  

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
On 12/12/2018 at 4:25 PM, Hibari said:

The great thing was, I was not fazed or bowled over by her attitude, nor did I give away my power. 

 

Hibari, this is an excellent way to approach an ignorant doctor. It sounds like you made it through a difficult crisis state and were able to survive without ending up hospitalized and you kept your composure throughout. 

 

Please let us know the status of your benzo use so we can help guide you through. Valium has a half-life of up to 200 hours, so it will stay in your system for quite awhile, although from your drug and symptoms journal, it didn't seem to have much effective at all. 

 

On 12/12/2018 at 4:25 PM, Hibari said:

The Ativan definitly calmed me down and I feel more me than I have in weeks-I know that's the benzo effect.   They gave me a presumption for 6 pills. 

 

 As you may know from your previous history with benzos, you can become dependent on them in as little as 2 - 4 weeks. You'll be okay to take 6 pills, but you may want to save them to use as rescue doses so you don't have to go back to the ER should you have another crisis. 

 

10 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Is it possible you recently forgot to take a dose or two of Lamictal? Has your liquid gotten old and lost potency?

9 hours ago, Hibari said:

Haven't missed doses but I do think my batch got old. Just got a fresh bottle today 

 

Please let us know how you're feeling after you switch over to the fresh batch. Hopefully this was the culprit and you'll feel some relief from the new batch of Lamictal. 

 

 

 

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2 hours ago, Shep said:

 

Hibari, this is an excellent way to approach an ignorant doctor. It sounds like you made it through a difficult crisis state and were able to survive without ending up hospitalized and you kept your composure throughout. 

Thank you Shep. 

2 hours ago, Shep said:

Please let us know the status of your benzo use so we can help guide you through. Valium has a half-life of up to 200 hours, so it will stay in your system for quite awhile, although from your drug and symptoms journal, it didn't seem to have much effective at all. 

 

 

 As you may know from your previous history with benzos, you can become dependent on them in as little as 2 - 4 weeks. You'll be okay to take 6 pills, but you may want to save them to use as rescue doses so you don't have to go back to the ER should you have another crisis. 

Thank you for you kindness Shep. 

I am shaking and trembling like a leaf today after a night of no sleep and wd.  I dont know how to stop it and feel so badly that I had to turn to the benzos., But I did and probably will again to get through this awful Lamictal withdrawal.  

I will need your help to navigate this because unless I find something that offers me relief for the shaking, I may  have to turn to the 6 Ativan pills and i of course fear becoming  dependent again. Very sad for me to write that. 

2 hours ago, Shep said:

 

Please let us know how you're feeling after you switch over to the fresh batch. Hopefully this was the culprit and you'll feel some relief from the new batch of Lamictal. 

 

I started the fresh batch last night and today.  Feel hyper but dont know if that's just part of what's already going on. 

Just took two L-theanine to see of i can calm down. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Alto, do you think its possible to go back up on Lamictal with the purpose of staying there for awhile and not tapering anymore?  I don't know mean not tapering ever again but with the purpose of remaining on a dose.of meds so that I can be functional in life again?  

 

Or do you feel that since I am so low on the dose that the best option is to just keep going till I'm off? 

 

I feel I'm at a crossroads.  Its been about 38 days since I jumped off the majority of my medication and now just have the reinstatement dose of 0.30mgs.

 

 

 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Hibari said:

Bottom line, I need to be able to drop off at night or in the day to heal. 

 

4 hours ago, Hibari said:

also know you care about me, and I appreciate it.  But I'm looking for relief on something that encouragement will not solve. I need something more than that right now.  That's the part I'm trying to have you understand.

 

Sleep is so important...I know I was told that is why will taper V first...so as to try to continue to get some sleep.  

And I do care about my friend so so much and want you to know I am sorry if it come across as anything other than that...you sounded so so lost.  The needing more than that right now you talked about is the mods...they will help you Hibari...they always do and you will be able to navigate these rough waters with the light of their wisdom and your own....I truly truly believe that.  

You have been dealing with so so much...  Want you to know I will continue to hold you in my heart and prayers throughout.

Blessings and love to you Hibari. 💜 

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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6 hours ago, Rabe said:

 

Sleep is so important...I know I was told that is why will taper V first...so as to try to continue to get some sleep.  

And I do care about my friend so so much and want you to know I am sorry if it come across as anything other than that...you sounded so so lost.  The needing more than that right now you talked about is the mods...they will help you Hibari...they always do and you will be able to navigate these rough waters with the light of their wisdom and your own....I truly truly believe that.  

You have been dealing with so so much...  Want you to know I will continue to hold you in my heart and prayers throughout.

Blessings and love to you Hibari. 💜 

Thank you Rabe.  I appreciate your response. 

 

The mods do help me and guide me despite how emotional and sacred I am. 

 

That is a gift.  

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

Link to comment

I hope I'm wrong, and using those meds to sleep is not problem.  You are trying really hard to use them rarely, and maybe that will be enough.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment
11 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I hope I'm wrong, and using those meds to sleep is not problem.  You are trying really hard to use them rarely, and maybe that will be enough.  

You are not wrong about using them for sleep.  I don't want to use them for sleep on a regular basis and understand the consequences.  It's just that when nothing else works and I havent been able to sleep for close to 14 hours a day 4 times a week, I have been cracking.  

 

If I could find something natural to give me even 4 hours that would start to make a difference.

 

 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hibari, I've read through the past 5 or 6 pages of your thread and noticed quite a lot of trials of various supplements, all around the time you stopped and then reinstated the Lamictal. 

 

November 1 - started PharmaGaba 

November 3 - hemp seed oil

November 5L-Theanine 

November 7 - stopped drugs

November 12 - started CBD oil 

November 22 - had a drink and took "a bunch of different things"

Sometime prior to November 24 - Kavinace

November 24 - reinstated Lamictal

 

None of these supplements panned out: 

 

On 11/24/2018 at 10:17 AM, Hibari said:

Taken Gaba-no longer works, Using CBD oil-no longer effective, Tryptophan Peptide-did nothing and finally Kavinacie, which I know has phenibut.  Tried two tablets one night and slept, one tablet a second night and did not sleep.

 

 

And then this:

 

On 11/24/2018 at 5:27 PM, Hibari said:

I have been in such agony.  Both today and on Thanksgiving and 2 days before that.  On Thanksgiving night I could not sleep after not sleeping the night before.  Intended up taking a bunch of different things including having a drink to do finally conk out.  

 

 

November 25 Calms Forte

November 26  Propanol, Tryptophan, and lemon balm

November 29 - melatonin and increased the reinstatement amount

December 1 - mentioned taking milk peptides

December 1 - increased the Lamictal reinstatement amount again

December 2 - took clonazapam 

December 3 - baby aspirin

December 8 - back to using CBD oil

December 10 - reduced Lamictal

December 12 - Ativan and Valium

 

A number of your supplements affect GABA (lemon balm, PharmaGaba, Kavinace) which effects the same GABA receptors as benzos do. Throw in a drink of alcohol, which also effects the same GABA receptors, a number of off-and-on GABA supplements, random benzos, and I'm not surprised you ended up in the ER. 

 

Your Lamictal reinstatement was November 24, which is just two days after consuming a drink of alcohol and taking multiple supplements. And then the dose was changed multiple times within only a few days. So we really don't even know how your reinstatement affected you. 

 

The best advice we can give you is to stop adding and subtracting supplements and to hold the Lamictal until you can gage how it's effecting you. Your nervous system is clearly not able to process these changes and it looks like you're getting paradoxical reactions. 

 

On 12/7/2018 at 7:43 AM, Hibari said:

I am trying very hard to rotate different supplements, when I can't sleep and not turn other medications.  I find that that most things work once or twice and then I have to move on. 

 

This is the root of your problem, Hibari. This is a very bad strategy and it's not serving you well and is contributing to the paradoxical reactions which makes anxiety and insomnia worse. 

 

As JanCarol likes to say, you're playing basketball with your brain when you constantly are adding or subtracting the substances you put into your body. When you make changes every few days - and even a baby aspirin is a change (if it wasn't, why would you take it?) - you are making your nervous system shift gears. 

 

Your nervous system is working very hard to acclimate to something new every few days. But what your nervous system really needs is consistency and stability so it can rest. 

 

If you continue to make changes, we aren't going to be able to help you.

 

Please find some non-drug ways of coping. My guess is you are dealing with catastrophic thinking a lot of time. These threads are a good place to start:

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

Are We There Yet? How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take?

 

And most importantly:

 

Acceptance

 

I would limit your supplements to magnesium and fish oil, if you're able to tolerate it. If melatonin helps, that's fine.

 

Anything else I would avoid and see how you feel holding everything steady for a few weeks. Again, we really can't tell how your reinstatement affected you at this point. You need to stop making changes and establish some sort of baseline. 

 

Please find ways of self-soothing to get you through this. It does get better, Hibari, but it will take time. 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Shep said:

Hibari, I've read through the past 5 or 6 pages of your thread and noticed quite a lot of trials of various supplements, all around the time you stopped and then reinstated the Lamictal. 

 

November 1 - started PharmaGaba 

November 3 - hemp seed oil

November 5L-Theanine 

November 7 - stopped drugs

November 12 - started CBD oil 

November 22 - had a drink and took "a bunch of different things"

Sometime prior to November 24 - Kavinace

November 24 - reinstated Lamictal

 

None of these supplements panned out: 

 

 

And then this:

 

 

 

November 25 Calms Forte

November 26  Propanol, Tryptophan, and lemon balm

November 29 - melatonin and increased the reinstatement amount

December 1 - mentioned taking milk peptides

December 1 - increased the Lamictal reinstatement amount again

December 2 - took clonazapam 

December 3 - baby aspirin

December 8 - back to using CBD oil

December 10 - reduced Lamictal

December 12 - Ativan and Valium

 

A number of your supplements affect GABA (lemon balm, PharmaGaba, Kavinace) which effects the same GABA receptors as benzos do. Throw in a drink of alcohol, which also effects the same GABA receptors, a number of off-and-on GABA supplements, random benzos, and I'm not surprised you ended up in the ER. 

 

Your Lamictal reinstatement was November 24, which is just two days after consuming a drink of alcohol and taking multiple supplements. And then the dose was changed multiple times within only a few days. So we really don't even know how your reinstatement affected you. 

 

The best advice we can give you is to stop adding and subtracting supplements and to hold the Lamictal until you can gage how it's effecting you. Your nervous system is clearly not able to process these changes and it looks like you're getting paradoxical reactions. 

 

 

This is the root of your problem, Hibari. This is a very bad strategy and it's not serving you well and is contributing to the paradoxical reactions which makes anxiety and insomnia worse. 

 

As JanCarol likes to say, you're playing basketball with your brain when you constantly are adding or subtracting the substances you put into your body. When you make changes every few days - and even a baby aspirin is a change (if it wasn't, why would you take it?) - you are making your nervous system shift gears. 

 

Your nervous system is working very hard to acclimate to something new every few days. But what your nervous system really needs is consistency and stability so it can rest. 

 

If you continue to make changes, we aren't going to be able to help you.

 

Please find some non-drug ways of coping. My guess is you are dealing with catastrophic thinking a lot of time. These threads are a good place to start:

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

Are We There Yet? How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take?

 

And most importantly:

 

Acceptance

 

I would limit your supplements to magnesium and fish oil, if you're able to tolerate it. If melatonin helps, that's fine.

 

Anything else I would avoid and see how you feel holding everything steady for a few weeks. Again, we really can't tell how your reinstatement affected you at this point. You need to stop making changes and establish some sort of baseline. 

 

Please find ways of self-soothing to get you through this. It does get better, Hibari, but it will take time. 

 

 

 

I know Shep.  I was given some very bad advice from a holistic psychiatrist regarding the Gaba and phenibut and CBD.  

 

The other mistakes are my own from wanting to stop the 8-10 hour long Akathisia days that occur every other day after I don't sleep.  

 

Yes, I do have catastrophic thinking at this time. Those scary days of being pinned to the couch because my brain is in fire and I can't move are terrifying.  My chemical anxiety makes it hard to go out and I'm unable to work at this time so not much to focus on. 

 

I will follow your advice and keep it simple. 

 

Any thoughts on what to do when the cortisol surges start at night and I start to shake and can't sleep. Too many nights of that is  what put me in the emergency room. 

 

And what to take for headaches? 

 

I've been waiting a long time to see some improvement. 

 

 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

Link to comment

Hi Hibari...hope today is going ok so far.  If you put cortisol spikes in the search bar at the top right you will see a good post from Alto on those and also posts by others who deal with them.  Rosetta deals with them and has been dealing with them for years so she could be a good source as to what has worked best.  It is a very common thing...I didnt know what it was til I cam here.

DaveB deals with the every other day phenomenon...your talking to him might help him and help you.  I know I finally saw that pattern and, for me, it had to do with feeling better one day and then doing too much, and then feeling worse the next....too much for my system...and some is just my pattern I guess. 

45 minutes ago, Hibari said:

My chemical anxiety makes it hard to go out and I'm unable to work at this time so not much to focus on. 

This is WD for so many, and Ill include myself....and I so sympathize Hibari!!!!  I have agoraphobia, social anxiety, panic, general anxiety, anticipatory anxiety, etc...💩  I can share that I try to get out every day...to a store, for a walk, groceries, just a short drive...trying to let my mind know it is ok...and some days I just rest all day.  I have found the needle point has helped some and going to do more.  They are long lonely days sometimes and me and my mind are not the best team!!!!  We dont always go in to fun places!  🙄

You are having some good days which I think is a good sign, Hibari....keep things simple, let your system continue to heal.  Continue to hold you in my thoughts and prayers!!!💜

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

Link to comment

All I use is magnesium.  I think it helps with the anxiety some.  I take it in the morning and in the evening.  I don't know whether it helps with the intensity of the cortisol spikes, but I hope it does.  Whether they intensify because I forget the mag or just because of waves, I don't know.  I keep intending to add fish oil to my diet.  

 

The cortisol spikes are very difficult, Hibari.  I feel for you having to deal with those.  I will always be angry that I was prescribed Xanax, and not told that the AD was causing my anxiety.   The idea of using an addictive substance to cover for the side effects of a supposedly non-addictive medication!!!  It's outrageous.  They apparently don't know about kindling.  I believe that if I hadn't been kindled by Xanax and Trazodone I would be well by now.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment
46 minutes ago, Rabe said:

Hi Hibari...hope today is going ok so far.  If you put cortisol spikes in the search bar at the top right you will see a good post from Alto on those and also posts by others who deal with them.  Rosetta deals with them and has been dealing with them for years so she could be a good source as to what has worked best.  It is a very common thing...I didnt know what it was til I cam here.

DaveB deals with the every other day phenomenon...your talking to him might help him and help you.  I know I finally saw that pattern and, for me, it had to do with feeling better one day and then doing too much, and then feeling worse the next....too much for my system...and some is just my pattern I guess. 

This is WD for so many, and Ill include myself....and I so sympathize Hibari!!!!  I have agoraphobia, social anxiety, panic, general anxiety, anticipatory anxiety, etc...💩  I can share that I try to get out every day...to a store, for a walk, groceries, just a short drive...trying to let my mind know it is ok...and some days I just rest all day.  I have found the needle point has helped some and going to do more.  They are long lonely days sometimes and me and my mind are not the best team!!!!  We dont always go in to fun places!  🙄

You are having some good days which I think is a good sign, Hibari....keep things simple, let your system continue to heal.  Continue to hold you in my thoughts and prayers!!!💜

Thanks Rabe. Again, I guess I don't see the good days.  

 

Maybe cortisol spike is the wrong term. Its actually cortisol surges that are continuous. That's what causes the trembling. 

 

Yes. These are long and  lonely days. 

 

I am committing to simplify and hope that the akathisia will subside into just plain anxiety.  

 

Again I appreciate your support.  

 

 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

All I use is magnesium.  I think it helps with the anxiety some.  I take it in the morning and in the evening.  I don't know whether it helps with the intensity of the cortisol spikes, but I hope it does.  Whether they intensify because I forget the mag or just because of waves, I don't know.  I keep intending to add fish oil to my diet.  

 

The cortisol spikes are very difficult, Hibari.  I feel for you having to deal with those.  I will always be angry that I was prescribed Xanax, and not told that the AD was causing my anxiety.   The idea of using an addictive substance to cover for the side effects of a supposedly non-addictive medication!!!  It's outrageous.  They apparently don't know about kindling.  I believe that if I hadn't been kindled by Xanax and Trazodone I would be well by now.

I've been using Magnesium pretty regularly and just added 1 omega to start.  

 

I am making big effort not to use benzos even if it doesn't look that way.  Did not use them all though my Remeron/Lamictal taper. The need for them showed up when I started having a paradoxical reaction to the Lamictal in the fall.  

 

I am sick in body, mind and spirit but am willing to keep going.  Will make an assessment at the 2 month mark of me jumping off of a majority of the med,  which is early January.  

 

Hibari 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

Link to comment

12/15/18                   Day 21 of Reinstatement    (Day 1 of keeping It Simple)

Broken Sleep

Morning Cortisol Spike:             High Anxiety, Sweating, Headache, Nausea

8:00AM  75mgs Thyroid

8:30AM  0.10 Lamictal             Feel some anxiety but its hard to tell with the ongoing morning anxiety

Breakfast:                                    Sweet Potato, and Oat straw Tea (hope that's okay)

10:00AM  1 250mg Mag

11:00AM   1 Omega                Cup of Bone Broth

12:00PM                                   Walk to grocery store with husband, very anxious

1:30       0.10 Lamictal            Ongoing Anxiety, can't tell if there is a speedy reaction, cry deeply with a friend

Lunch

2PM                                          Do two sets of light weights

2:30-4:30                                 Deeply depressed, unable to relax, headache, low grade nausea

4:30                                          Cup of Bone Broth

 

 

Will update later.

 

Is Oat Straw tea okay to drink at this time?  

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Rosetta said:

All I use is magnesium.  I think it helps with the anxiety some.  I take it in the morning and in the evening.  I don't know whether it helps with the intensity of the cortisol spikes, but I hope it does.  Whether they intensify because I forget the mag or just because of waves, I don't know.  I keep intending to add fish oil to my diet.  

 

The cortisol spikes are very difficult, Hibari.  I feel for you having to deal with those.  I will always be angry that I was prescribed Xanax, and not told that the AD was causing my anxiety.   The idea of using an addictive substance to cover for the side effects of a supposedly non-addictive medication!!!  It's outrageous.  They apparently don't know about kindling.  I believe that if I hadn't been kindled by Xanax and Trazodone I would be well by now.

I forgot to ask, were you taking Xanax and Trazodoane nightly to sleep?

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Breakfast:                                    Sweet Potato, and Oat straw Tea (hope that's okay)

11:00AM   1 Omega                Cup of Bone Broth

4:30                                          Cup of Bone Broth

 

 

Is this all that you have had during the day?  Is this what you have every day?

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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1 hour ago, Hibari said:

I forgot to ask, were you taking Xanax and Trazodoane nightly to sleep?

 

Long before I found SA, while I was still taking sertraline, I was prescribed Xanax when anxiety became a big problem.  This was after the sertraline dose was maxed out at 150 mg or maybe even before at a lower dose.  I was using alcohol intermittently for a while, too, to calm down.  I believe the Xanax kindled me, (the alcohol did, too) and made everything worse.  I took Xanax infrequently because of my fear of addiction.  

 

Eventually, I quit sertraline and Xanax entirely.  A doctor tried to force me to take 1.5 mg of Xanax everyday.  She made me sign a contract saying I would.  I decided in that moment that doctors had no idea how to help me.  That's absolutely nuts.  It was prescribing addiction, and there is no way she was not aware of that.  She probably assumed due to my symptoms that I was all ready addicted, but she didn't even see me or talk to me.  She didn't confirm my intake of Xanax.  She relied on her physician's assistant's description of our consultation!!  I had been taking 1/4 to 1/2 a milligram every 3 days or so to avoid addiction.  I ever once met that doctor not even before the day this prescription was made.

 

I switched back to my old doctors, and just quit all the drugs.  That's when I developed  insomnia, and I was given Trazodone for sleep.  Finally, as my condition continued to worsen I quit Trazodone.  I thought it was harming me.  It was.  I was probably addicted to it by the time I quit.  I don't know how I began to sleep again, but I did without any drugs at all, Hibari.  Sleeping with Trazodone wasn't real sleep.  I never felt rested.  It was more a matter of passing out, being half wake all night long, and then waking up with extremely intense anxiety early in the morning.  So, I gave up on all medical help.  

 

I know how desperate you feel when you don't sleep.  I'm so concerned that sleep won't come back if you try to use drugs to sleep.  Trazodone is particularly dangerous.  It causes a rebound effect during the day that is characterized by extremely intense anxiety.  It should be illegal!  I believe it kills by causing SI.  Please don't consider it -- ever!!!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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1 hour ago, Hibari said:

(Day 1 of keeping It Simple)

 

1 hour ago, Hibari said:

Breakfast:                                    Sweet Potato, and Oat straw Tea (hope that's okay)

 

This is not keeping it simple, Hibari. 

 

Oat straw is a nootropic. You may do well with it, you may not. It does have a high concentration of B complex, which some people find stimulating and can ramp up symptoms.

 

Bone broth sounds like a great idea. But I wouldn't add that in the same day you add in oat straw. If one of them is helpful, you won't know which one (or if it's the combination). If one of them is harmful, you won't know that either (or if it's the combination that's harmful). Both bone broth and oat straw contain multiple amino acids. 

 

 

 

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19 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

 

Long before I found SA, while I was still taking sertraline, I was prescribed Xanax when anxiety became a big problem.  This was after the sertraline dose was maxed out at 150 mg or maybe even before at a lower dose.  I was using alcohol intermittently for a while, too, to calm down.  I believe the Xanax kindled me, (the alcohol did, too) and made everything worse.  I took Xanax infrequently because of my fear of addiction.  

 

Eventually, I quit sertraline and Xanax entirely.  A doctor tried to force me to take 1.5 mg of Xanax everyday.  She made me sign a contract saying I would.  I decided in that moment that doctors had no idea how to help me.  That's absolutely nuts.  It was prescribing addiction, and there is no way she was not aware of that.  She probably assumed due to my symptoms that I was all ready addicted, but she didn't even see me or talk to me.  She didn't confirm my intake of Xanax.  She relied on her physician's assistant's description of our consultation!!  I had been taking 1/4 to 1/2 a milligram every 3 days or so to avoid addiction.  I ever once met that doctor not even before the day this prescription was made.

 

I switched back to my old doctors, and just quit all the drugs.  That's when I developed  insomnia, and I was given Trazodone for sleep.  Finally, as my condition continued to worsen I quit Trazodone.  I thought it was harming me.  It was.  I was probably addicted to it by the time I quit.  I don't know how I began to sleep again, but I did without any drugs at all, Hibari.  Sleeping with Trazodone wasn't real sleep.  I never felt rested.  It was more a matter of passing out, being half wake all night long, and then waking up with extremely intense anxiety early in the morning.  So, I gave up on all medical help.  

 

I know how desperate you feel when you don't sleep.  I'm so concerned that sleep won't come back if you try to use drugs to sleep.  Trazodone is particularly dangerous.  It causes a rebound effect during the day that is characterized by extremely intense anxiety.  It should be illegal!  I believe it kills by causing SI.  Please don't consider it -- ever!!!

No, I wasnt considering it.  

 

I was just trying to figure out how frequently you were using the benzos.  

 

What I'm sad about now Rosetta is that I used to really believe I would heal.  But as you have seen in my posts lately, my faith has dropped. I'm hoping I still can heal without the conviction that I can and that simply making it through each day adds another day for my brain to get better.

 

I pray every night for a sign that things are shifting but I haven't seen too many yet.  What would a sign to me be? Waking up feeling lighter or having some hours in the day where I felt normal or without such high  anxiety.  

 

I've been very depressed today but I think it's due to the Ativan hangover. 

 

I am trying to accept that I am in this process yet would also like a little help from above to help me keep going.  

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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1 minute ago, Shep said:

 

 

This is not keeping it simple, Hibari. 

 

Oat straw is a nootropic. You may do well with it, you may not. It does have a high concentration of B complex, which some people find stimulating and can ramp up symptoms.

 

Bone broth sounds like a great idea. But I wouldn't add that in the same day you add in oat straw. If one of them is helpful, you won't know which one (or if it's the combination). If one of them is harmful, you won't know that either (or if it's the combination that's harmful). Both bone broth and oat straw contain multiple amino acids. 

 

Okay.  I thought bone broth was simply a meal replacement.  

 

The oatstaw relaxed me. 

 

Im sorry Shep, I keep messing up.  I thought herbal teas were okay.  

 

I also have struggled today with what I think is a benzo hangover.  Depression is the main thing.  

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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