success Hibari: tapering Remeron and want to start tapering Lamictal

[Hibari]

So this has been a very frustrating week.  I was in a bad wave till this past Tuesday night and then it has been less intense but not a easy time.  I feel deeply sad on and off and definitely nausea and sometimes a headache.  IMy memory feels bad again too and I feel some anxiety about feeling better.   Oh, and I am having hot flashes again-some at night and some in the morning.

 

I have been holding but this is hard.  I am in one of those, I was only on each of these medications 10 months, how could it be taking so long, states of mind.

 

I am going to try and use my anger to fuel me today.   

 

I fear my depression is returning, because of the sadness but I keep telling myself it's wd.

[leahy]

I was thinking of you this morning as I reread some of my posts and yours and realized how much I forget things. My week has been tough as well which is why I was rereading.

 

You are definitely in wd and doing a great job with it. This is a wave. Your depression is not returning. It is wd - the headache and nausea being a huge clue. Yes, getting off these medications does take a long time and time passes slowly when we feel ill.

 

This too shall pass. Hang in there.

 

When you mentioned you felt better around 5 PM when you were walking the dog the other day, it got me wondering. I have been wondering how oxygen intake might be a key factor in how walking helps us. I wonder if it is the increase in oxygen that makes me feel better when I manage to get out there and walk. There is a noticeable difference but I really do not want to do it.

 

I hope you feel better soon. You've got this, Hibari. You really have.

 

L

[Hibari]

I was thinking of you this morning as I reread some of my posts and yours and realized how much I forget things. My week has been tough as well which is why I was rereading.

 

You are definitely in wd and doing a great job with it. This is a wave. Your depression is not returning. It is wd - the headache and nausea being a huge clue. Yes, getting off these medications does take a long time and time passes slowly when we feel ill.

 

This too shall pass. Hang in there.

 

When you mentioned you felt better around 5 PM when you were walking the dog the other day, it got me wondering. I have been wondering how oxygen intake might be a key factor in how walking helps us. I wonder if it is the increase in oxygen that makes me feel better when I manage to get out there and walk. There is a noticeable difference but I really do not want to do it.

 

I hope you feel better soon. You've got this, Hibari. You really have.

 

L

I am sorry you've had a tough week Leahy.  I know how hard you have been trying and what you have gone through.   I believe so strongly in your recovery and that you too will make it to being medication free.

 

I continue to be reminded that I have to be much more aware that I am not completely healthy.   I mean wd really reminds me when I am hit with it but it is more that I need to be sensitive to what people I spend time with and what I read or watch.  I have a few communities right now that matter to me and I need to know that that' enough.  And more importantly that I am enough.  I am too vulnerable right now and it's easy to get into compare and despair. 

 

Thanks always for your support Leahy and you have mine.

 

H

 

I

[toomanymeds]

Hi Leahy and Hbari,

I am struggling so much wth nausea. Do you wake up in the morning with nausea? I don't know how to push through it. I've tried all the remedies. Please pray for me. My life is so lonely while getting off these drugs.

[Hibari]

Hi Leahy and Hbari,

I am struggling so much wth nausea. Do you wake up in the morning with nausea? I don't know how to push through it. I've tried all the remedies. Please pray for me. My life is so lonely while getting off these drugs.

I'm sorry you are struggling, I too am having a tough period.  The best things I have found for nausea for me are, gingerale (not diet, regular) and Alka Seltzer Gold.   

It is a very lonely experience to get off these drugs.  So many people outside of this site just don't get it but this is were you can find support.

Many people have gotten off of medication here and I think we just have to hold onto their successes.

[AliG]

 Sending love .        hang in there. 

[toomanymeds]

Praying for all of us in this day to day struggle. God's mercy is new each day. Love to all of you.

[leahy]

Hi Leahy and Hbari,

I am struggling so much wth nausea. Do you wake up in the morning with nausea? I don't know how to push through it. I've tried all the remedies. Please pray for me. My life is so lonely while getting off these drugs.

Hi TMM,

 

Yes. Yes I do wake with nausea. It's not fair! The nausea is so difficult. I feel there should be another word for nausea. It's so much worse than the word sounds. I can't bear it when it happens. Waking up to nausea - burping and bloating and feeling like throwing up would be a better option. I'll wake in the middle of the night with nausea. Then I know I am in for a bad time of it.  All night and the next day, too. I find what helps most is if I can sleep better. I feel that it is the sleep disturbances cause by wd for me that brings on the nausea (and headache). 

 

Ginger ale is helpful to me in the meantime. Also carbohydrates. I take extra care to take an epsom salts and baking soda bath early in the evening (sometimes 4 pm) leaving lots of unwinding downtime so that I might get to sleep earlier. Getting to sleep by 10 pm or even 9 pm is helpful to me. Sometimes I've also had to updose though to alleviate wd that's causing nausea and headache.

 

Please do not feel lonely. We are here for you. I feel your pain. I hope something I said is a little bit helpful to you. Any little thing can be helpful at times like these.

 

I feel lonely, too. And scared. And overwhelmed. You are not alone. You can do this. A little bit at a time. What dose of Remeron are you on now?

 

Hugs,

Leahy

[toomanymeds]

Thank you to all of you! I really need your support. It is so hard to distract myself or even clean the house lately. I'm a single mom and my daughter wants to have people over yet I just can't do it. It is stressful. Thanks for listening.

[Hibari]

Perspective

 

I am need of perspective. Since Thanksgiving I have been very emotional and feel like crying a lot.   The Wednesday before I was feeling up and full of energy.  Now feeling more despondent and weepy.   I get scared when I feel this way, like I am on my way back to depression. 

 

I don't think I am depressed, just feel like crying and of course waves of nausea and headaches.  I have felt some low level brain zaps, which don't bother me so much.  And more hot flashes. 

 

I feel like other people have been on medication much longer than I have and therefore what I am feeling must mean I am doing something wrong. 

 

Is this all wd or am I falling into a pit?   I have been holding on my meds, not cutting but I hope this will move into a more stable time.   I am not enjoying things in my life and there are many things in my life that are fine.  

 

I also feel like my brain needs something like amino acids but aside from taking my L-Theanine, I'm not sure what to try first. 

 

H

[leahy]

Thanksgiving threw me off big time. I found myself watching the clock as my son and daughter hang out here which is wonderful but... God help me - the tiniest "off" thing like not "winding down" at the end of the day or taking meds later than usual throws me into wd hell. 

 

Pretty difficult to explain that to people who are simply being loving. Today is the first day I felt "well" enough to take care of some very important phone calls, etc I've been putting off because of headache/nausea. Can't think. It's a roller coaster.

 

Now that I can think today, I could ponder how depressed my life is but I am blocking that out for now. It must be a double whammy, an extraordinary feat - to feel good physically AND feel good mentally. I think it's going to take a lot of feel good days before both can happen.

 

Hibari, I have read here about people who have been on meds a much shorter time than you have who are suffering greatly.

 

Are you sleeping okay?

[toomanymeds]

I can really relate to each of you. You have put into words exactly what I'm going through. We have to stay the course and know there is an end to all of this. I believe God has a plan for each of us. Just hope it over quickly.

Have you tried undenatured whey protien?

[ChessieCat]

Hi peeps,

 

According to this article UNdenatured whey protein is a myth.  http://www.3fu3l.com/the-myth-of-undenatured-whey/#comment-32843

 

CC

[toomanymeds]

What type of whey protien helps with glutithione or what about liponano-glutithione. Will that help with withdrawal?

[Hibari]

Thanksgiving threw me off big time. I found myself watching the clock as my son and daughter hang out here which is wonderful but... God help me - the tiniest "off" thing like not "winding down" at the end of the day or taking meds later than usual throws me into wd hell. 

 

Pretty difficult to explain that to people who are simply being loving. Today is the first day I felt "well" enough to take care of some very important phone calls, etc I've been putting off because of headache/nausea. Can't think. It's a roller coaster.

 

Now that I can think today, I could ponder how depressed my life is but I am blocking that out for now. It must be a double whammy, an extraordinary feat - to feel good physically AND feel good mentally. I think it's going to take a lot of feel good days before both can happen.

 

Hibari, I have read here about people who have been on meds a much shorter time than you have who are suffering greatly.

 

Are you sleeping okay?

I am sleeping well.  Remeron still continues to knock me out at night though I am having some continued choking at different points at night.   

 

Having just cried my eyes out with a friend,  I am hoping that my nervous system will feel more in balance tomorrow. 

 

You're right Leahy, I guess it doesn't matter the length of time so much because once our brains have incorporated the drug, it's in there. 

 

I am glad you felt well today and were able to take some actions.   You are a champion Leahy and I admire you very much for all you are doing. 

 

On to the next right action.

 

H

[ChessieCat]

TMM, I've replied on your Intro topic. CC

[leahy]

Read this: Also see The Windows and Waves Pattern of Recovery

[Hibari]

I have just crawled out of two weeks of being despondent, grief stricken and at times depressed.    Though I have been able to work and do things, I just felt I was walking around in a heavy emotional state.  I thought at different points I was going crazy, couldn't think straight, was getting overly focused on the treatment of animals and was just so sad.  It was if my brain had no ability to filter what came in and out.  

 

However, on the way to a consulting job yesterday, which was going to take all day, I said "God, please take care of me".  I am not religious but I have been working on deepening my spirituality.   As the day went on, I felt better and more relaxed.  

 

Today I feel okay, like my brain has a little more ability to keep crazy thoughts at bay.   And while I still feel vulnerable, I feel that fragile stability that I have seen posted on the site. 

 

I know need to take it easy over the next few weeks because I have been pushing it in terms of activities.  I have wanted to feel like "normal" people and be out in the world.  But in reality, I can't do that right now and it's actually is not the time to be outward.   It's a time of being inward, not withdrawn but using my energy very consciously. 

 

I've been reading different success stories on Beyond Meds and on this site.  The profound stripping away of our old selves seems to allow a deeper, more compassionate and stronger sense of self.  The sensitivity of my body and it's reactions to people, places and things is profound.  I just can't over-ride myself anymore and that has brought me to a new place of respect for who I am and what I won't tolerate anymore. 

 

When I tumbled into depression, there were people I loved who said I was in a dark night of the soul.  I believed them and it gave me a lot of hope that there was an end to that kind of journey.   I'm not at the end of that journey because I think wd is part of it.   I see echoes of this same sentiment in so many threads, by those going through it and those who have made it to the other side. 

 

I want to focus on that for today. 

[Hibari]

I wanted to check in and share how I am doing.  I've had a good run as far as mood and physical symptoms and want to have this to refer to when times get tough.   

 

I still go to weekly acupuncture and let myself stabilize from my last cuts on November 25th till now.   Just made micro cuts on both my meds last night and will see how I feel over the next days.  

 

After a very tough period of wd when I made my last cuts it felt good to stabilize and feel actually good.  What it reminded me was that the brain and body can heal even when it feels like it won't.  

 

I know I am not off my medication yet and there is more to learn.  But the fact that I have felt good without as much medication in my brain from two different sources, is so  important to me.

 

The other things I have just recently added in are a 1x a day probiotic and digestive enzymees with every meal.  I also tried to add in some Omegas but I keep forgetting to take them.  

 

H

[Hibari]

Feeling emotional today, weepy and vulnerable.  Low grade headache and some nausea over the past 3 days. 

 

I'm not sure which drug is causing it but I lean more toward the Lamictal at this point.  My Remeron drops have been small including the last one. 

 

Just feel old, and chubby and low. 

[Petunia]

I'm sorry you are having a bad day Hibari, I just read back through a bit of your thread and see you've been having it rough, on and off for a while and my first thought was perhaps its because you are tapering two drugs at the same time, this is not something we recommend doing. But then I read your reason for doing this, which I understand.

 

I don't think I've read about a successful taper here with the way you are actually doing it. Some people do both drugs at the same time by cutting one one month and then the other one the next month, or working on one for a few months and then changing to the other. If you are having symptoms, that means you are tapering too fast.  If you are tapering two drugs at the same time, its impossible to know which drug is causing the withdrawal symptoms, which one you need to slow down on, or hold for a while.

 

I'm not certain about this, but I think another reason we recommend tapering one drug at a time is because its less stressful for your nervous system in general.

 

But of course its your decision and we will support you anyway.

 

What percentage are you cutting by at the moment with each drug and how often are you making cuts?

 

Wishing you a pleasant holiday season

[leahy]

"Feeling emotional today, weepy and vulnerable.  Low grade headache and some nausea over the past 3 days. 

 

I'm not sure which drug is causing it but I lean more toward the Lamictal at this point.  My Remeron drops have been small including the last one. 

 

Just feel old, and chubby and low."

 

Good Morning Hibari,

 

The good news is we KNOW it's wd because these are the symptoms, including the old, chubby and low feeling. Having a low grade headache and nausea puts a terribly bad spin on things. It makes it impossible to think clearly.

 

But you have come so far - such a long way down in your taper. It is truly amazing how much you have managed to taper and you have done so well. Really. Your body must be so happy with the relief of that over drugged burden. You have gotten so low down on your meds. 

 

I'm hoping last night you had a good healing sleep and feel better today. Remember how so many people say the weight falls right off when the mirtazapine is gone. But it's like these drugs do not want to let us go without a fight!

 

I have no headache/nausea today. Relief is around the corner. Healing does happen. I know you can do this. You already have.

 

Leahy

[Hibari]

I'm sorry you are having a bad day Hibari, I just read back through a bit of your thread and see you've been having it rough, on and off for a while and my first thought was perhaps its because you are tapering two drugs at the same time, this is not something we recommend doing. But then I read your reason for doing this, which I understand.

 

I don't think I've read about a successful taper here with the way you are actually doing it. Some people do both drugs at the same time by cutting one one month and then the other one the next month, or working on one for a few months and then changing to the other. If you are having symptoms, that means you are tapering too fast.  If you are tapering two drugs at the same time, its impossible to know which drug is causing the withdrawal symptoms, which one you need to slow down on, or hold for a while.

 

I'm not certain about this, but I think another reason we recommend tapering one drug at a time is because its less stressful for your nervous system in general.

 

But of course its your decision and we will support you anyway.

 

What percentage are you cutting by at the moment with each drug and how often are you making cuts?

 

Wishing you a pleasant holiday season

Hi Petunia, thank your for your response and kind support.  

 

At the moment, I am cutting the Remeron (liquid from a compounding pharmacy) probably milligram by milligram-two micro cuts within a two week period-then holding for 3 weeks.  The Lamictal has been more like 10% per cut since July though the last cuts in a 3 week period went from 56.25 to 53.125 and now holding at 50mgs.  

 

I chose to micro cut both meds after reading Rhiannon's experience.  I know, from the last time I read her thread on this, she has shifted back to one medication at a time but I haven't read her thread lately.  When I read her experience of cutting multiple medications, it felt right to me. 

 

It's funny, even though I felt weepy yesterday, it's very different from the uncontrollable sobbing I have had at different times.    My ability to work and function in the world has been much better even when I am in the peak of wd.   In fact, sometimes working has helped.

 

I am paying very close attention to my body's reaction to the cuts and also how strong I feel after my acupuncture appointments.   Those sessions have helped support my nervous system tremendously.    I will probably make only one more micro cut with my Remeron for the next cut.   Again, I will play it by body and see how I am feeling when I come to that point.

 

I hope you are still finding the L-Theanine helpful, it has been a great supplement for me. 

[Hibari]

 

"Feeling emotional today, weepy and vulnerable.  Low grade headache and some nausea over the past 3 days. 

 

I'm not sure which drug is causing it but I lean more toward the Lamictal at this point.  My Remeron drops have been small including the last one. 

 

Just feel old, and chubby and low."

 

Good Morning Hibari,

 

The good news is we KNOW it's wd because these are the symptoms, including the old, chubby and low feeling. Having a low grade headache and nausea puts a terribly bad spin on things. It makes it impossible to think clearly.

 

But you have come so far - such a long way down in your taper. It is truly amazing how much you have managed to taper and you have done so well. Really. Your body must be so happy with the relief of that over drugged burden. You have gotten so low down on your meds. 

 

I'm hoping last night you had a good healing sleep and feel better today. Remember how so many people say the weight falls right off when the mirtazapine is gone. But it's like these drugs do not want to let us go without a fight!

 

I have no headache/nausea today. Relief is around the corner. Healing does happen. I know you can do this. You already have.

 

Leahy

 

 

Leahy! So glad you are feeling all right today.  

 

I am feeling better today too.    Had some good sleep, took a nap this afternoon and my mood is okay.   Still some low grade nausea off and on and a little headache.  But not bad at all. 

 

 I hope to be writing to you one day that my weight is dropping off.  It's not my main goal because having my mind, eyesight and energy back will the best gift (but losing the weight is up there).

 

Merry Christmas Leahy.  Glad you are in my corner.

[Hibari]

I have been wanting to figure out which med is giving me the most symptoms since I started micro tapering both.

 

I have discovered that I think it's the Remeron that's the hard one for me.  I have been sad since I made a small cut on New Years Eve but did not cut my Lamictal.  The only way I know it's wd is that I have a very low grade headache.  I don't like the sad feeling, it always scares me that I am headed back to being depressed. 

 

I have to remember that Free Spirit called Remeron the crying drug.   That feeling weepy is part of mediation wd. 

 

On the positives side, I am able to work and function in the world.  That is a big difference from when I was depressed and when I first started wd.

[Hibari]

I was talking to a family member today who was saying how happy he was with his life.   I felt sad when he said it because I don't feel that sense of upbeatness. 

 

I can't remember now how I used to feel it.  Since I fell into a deep depression in 2013 and the start of my wd in January of last year, I haven't felt that optimism.  I have felt periods of feeling good, but being on this journey has drained me and made me feel empty at times.  

 

The other thing I am paying attention to is my not so healthy drive to do more when I am not yet ready to do so.   I think the fear that I have lost time is the motivating factor and I get a bit crazed around activity.   I want to be able to trust that there is still time for me to accomplish what I want and live a life of pleasure and meaning.

 

H

[AliG]

Hi Hibari . Happy New Year. Thanks for dropping by my thread. I appreciate that.      The fact that you are wanting to do more , is a good sign of healing in my opinion. Just take it easy , though . You need to find the balance. Listen to your body , and get lots of rest in between the activity. Pace yourself & practice good self- care.

Hugs, Ali

[leahy]

Soon, Hibari. Your health and happiness are coming soon. Hang on. Your time is coming. I didn't think it was possible but I am holding at 20 mg now and this gives me new hope. It can be done. I have not been feeling sick and I have been sleeping pretty well. Miracles do happen. I'll bet by summer you will be so happy! I was listening to a song yesterday. I was hanging on to the line about highs and lows. You will feel healthy again. And happy. It's happening right now but you just don't know it yet. I have seen the changes in you.

 

Well you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home

 

I have been feeling that low mood but I try to ignore that as best I can. I notice that I am having dreams again. They are not pleasant dreams but I didn't realize how much of nothingness I had been existing on for so many years. Going through wd is the hardest thing to do but you are claiming your life back. This is huge!

 

Hugs, 

Leahy

[Hibari]

Thank you both for your encouragement.

 

Ali, you are such a bright light on this site and I appreciate your perspective.

 

Leahy!  You are doing ok on 20mgs, I am so psyched for you.   I get that doing okay has it's ups and down but it is such a big step.  

 

When I saw that you wrote by summer, I was actually ok with that.  I was just saying to friend that I want to trust more that the universe is watching out for me. 

 

I think that if I take care of myself and work on quality things, not quantity, I will feel that I am in the swing. 

 

Thank you for the lyrics, they hit home.

 

H

[Hibari]

I have moved out of some peak wd symptoms that happened about 4 days after I made a small cut to my Remeron dosage.  Now that I am lower, it seems I have a new pattern emerging where the wd symptoms show up much faster than before. 

 

I also remember how when I was only cutting Remeron, that after the peak of crying and depression for 2-3 days that my mood did not immediately lift but eventually did after about 5 or 6 days.  This time I had to extend a lot of energy for a work project and it seems that after I do something like that, the adrenaline push helps my mood.   It's like my brain has to function at a higher level for a period of time and then is able to help me feel better.  There is something about that process that I want to explore more.

 

Anyway, tired today but in a better place than I was.

[AliG]

Hibari.  Thank you.      I'm just throwing this out there, and you are free to disagree,  but do you think it might be time to concentrate on tapering one drug - primarily Remeron ?  I'm thinking as you get lower , it will be harder to differentiate your drops, and therefore know " what " is causing " which " symptoms. It has probably served you well, so far, but maybe as you get down to the lower dosages, it might be wise to concentrate on one. Just a thought.  What do you think ?

Hugs,

Ali

[Hibari]

Hi Ali,

 

I didn't cut my Lamictal this time to gauge my Remeron symptoms and I got my answer-ugh.   I don't know if I will hold on the Lamictal till I cut more on the Remeron because holding didn't seem to make a difference in my wd reaction from the Remeron cut.

 

I may alternate as an experiment to see what that does. 

 

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, I always like to hear your perspective.

 

H

[leahy]

Are your Remeron wd symptoms the same? Do you feel nauseous and sick? How is your mood? I wonder if Lamictal helps mirtazapine wd. You are doing such a great job methodically tapering each drug. You've come such a long way!

 

Do you find that you are dreaming more? I find the original reasons, 18 years ago, that I went on medication are the things I dream about. I guess I didn't totally work through my grieving process at that time, so now it comes flooding back. 

 

I mention this in case you are feeling low to remind you those feelings are wd. Now you are stronger emotionally and you will succeed. I imagine you walking among your trees in the spring with a new vision thinking "Oh, how beautiful all those green leaves are. Those trees are magnificent."

 

I cut down a lot of trees on my original overgrown property two years ago so I was listening as you mentioned all the trees on or around your property. I felt smothered by the trees and vines and needed to clean that up as soon as possible. Now I see it differently. If I were cutting down the trees now I think I would have approached tree removal more cautiously and saved some of those trees that I removed. My son implored me not to cut them down. I often feel badly about that. I am having "tree removal remorse." Is this a nuero emotion?

 

Any mistakes I ever made seem to bubble to the surface. Perhaps we tend not to remember the good choices we've made, the good things we've done, the obstacles we've overcome, and pat ourselves on the back for it.

 

You are coming down the home stretch, Hibari. You are experiencing a metamorphosis, a transformation into realizing the astounding beauty of your body and soul. But this is hard work.

 

Or maybe like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz realizing she had the power all along; "You've always had the power, my dear. You've had it all along."

 

But this is hard work. And you are doing it!

 

L

[Hibari]

Are your Remeron wd symptoms the same? Do you feel nauseous and sick? How is your mood? I wonder if Lamictal helps mirtazapine wd. You are doing such a great job methodically tapering each drug. You've come such a long way!

 

Do you find that you are dreaming more? I find the original reasons, 18 years ago, that I went on medication are the things I dream about. I guess I didn't totally work through my grieving process at that time, so now it comes flooding back. 

 

I mention this in case you are feeling low to remind you those feelings are wd. Now you are stronger emotionally and you will succeed. I imagine you walking among your trees in the spring with a new vision thinking "Oh, how beautiful all those green leaves are. Those trees are magnificent."

 

I cut down a lot of trees on my original overgrown property two years ago so I was listening as you mentioned all the trees on or around your property. I felt smothered by the trees and vines and needed to clean that up as soon as possible. Now I see it differently. If I were cutting down the trees now I think I would have approached tree removal more cautiously and saved some of those trees that I removed. My son implored me not to cut them down. I often feel badly about that. I am having "tree removal remorse." Is this a nuero emotion?

 

Any mistakes I ever made seem to bubble to the surface. Perhaps we tend not to remember the good choices we've made, the good things we've done, the obstacles we've overcome, and pat ourselves on the back for it.

 

You are coming down the home stretch, Hibari. You are experiencing a metamorphosis, a transformation into realizing the astounding beauty of your body and soul. But this is hard work.

 

Or maybe like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz realizing she had the power all along; "You've always had the power, my dear. You've had it all along."

 

But this is hard work. And you are doing it!

 

L

You are a treasure Leahy!  The way you write and share you insides is wonderful.  I am blessed to have your support on this journey.

 

Your analogy about the trees and wd is perfect.  But don't beat yourself up for cutting down the trees - that's where you were at that time.  And yes, everything is heightened during wd.  It's almost like the part of the brain that regulates equilibrium is not functioning so well.  I have had intense remorse and regret flood me at times. 

 

I am dreaming more.  When I first went on Remeron, wild intense dreams and then they stopped.   I then had dreamless sleep and a sleep hangover.  Now, my dreams are coming back and are becoming more memorable. 

 

I do still feel the same physical and emotional wd with my Remeron cuts.  Nausea, headache, depression, anxiety and tears.  I have been up and down since my last post.  Cried this morning and now am better.  Also had acupuncture yesterday, which I think has an effect the next day.

 

I don't know Leahy if the Lamictal is helping with my Remeron wd.  It didn't' feel much different when I cut the Remeon and the Lamictal together.  I did a tiny cut in my Lamictal last night (oh, there's a clue to my crying) and felt slightly nauseous today-no headache. 

 

You too are going to come through Leahy.  Such a clear difference from when you first started and your determination during that most recent wd struggle is incredible.  I have a future picture of you laughing, making a meal, with the windows open and music playing in the background.  Feels like it is the late Spring. 

 

Heard a reading yesterday, that I want to share with you because it reminds me of your strength. 

 

"In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer."  Albert Camus

 

Keep the faith.

 

H

[Fresh]

Hi Hibari ,  catching up on your thread , I'm sorry to read that you have a lot of symptoms.  

I'm concerned that because you have been tapering two drugs at the same time , you've gone too fast.

 

The idea of tapering well is to stabilize after each cut.  You might want to consider having a good long hold of BOTH drugs before tapering further.  Give your brain a chance to rest from the continual changes .

 

As Petunia pointed out , the method you've been doing is not recommended here , and it would be a shame if you crash after being so careful.

 

bw ,  Fresh

 

.

[Hibari]

Hi Fresh,

 

I always value your perspective so I really want to know why you think it's been too fast.   To be honest, micro tapering both drugs has worked really well until now.  I would hold for about 3 weeks after each cut and then start again.    But now  I am at a different point in my wd and I can see how sensitive I am at this point. 

 

I posted a question in the tapering section because I believe I have a false assumption in regard to wd and the length of time on a medication.

I always thought that the shorter you were on the drug, the easier wd would be. 

 

But I what I am thinking now is that once the medication becomes incorporated into the brain's functioning it doesn't matter when that occurred.  It could have happened at 3 months but once the dose was established that's what the brain used from that point on. 

 

I have been stuck on the idea that since I was only on the full dose of each medication for 10 months that my wd should have been faster.  

 

I am upset that it's going to take me much longer.  I know that's the way it is but I don't like it.