btdt Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 when people ask me about this cause we all think we will never heal... cause of this drug or that one... I show them this http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/28-success-stories-recovery-from-withdrawal/ About every drug there is will be represented here. How are you feeling other than worry ... we all go thru that period of worry about healing it is rough but as you heal it will ease. How you spend the time till then is important seek distraction and things that sooth you peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
pillprob Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 Mother passed away on Wednesday. Started Paxil for major depression at around 25. Up to 60 mg fast. Started weening at around 22nd year on it. Was cutting tiny bits on a very accurate pharmacy scale weekly and sometimes by weekly. Took around a year and a half. When I got to 10 mg, I tapered off of that in about 7 or 8 weeks. Too fast Stopped Paxil Oct 17 2014 At approximately six months off Paxil after a short course of antibiotics, developed major panic anxiety attacks. Started taking 1 mg of Ativan for about 3 weeks for this. Then on forth week tried to take Ativan ever other day or every two days. Stated experiencing withdrawal. Now I am trying to stabilize on .75, by taking .25 every 8 hours (.25 at 7am, .25 at 3pm .25 11pm) Link to comment
btdt Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I am very sorry to here that PP my condolences. There is never a good time for such thing I hope you can maintain your mental health please ask for help from your loved ones I hope you have all the support you need. I wish you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
pillprob Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 Thank you btdt. She had been on ativan for a long time and pain meds for daily headaches. Her body couldn't take it any more, I guess Started Paxil for major depression at around 25. Up to 60 mg fast. Started weening at around 22nd year on it. Was cutting tiny bits on a very accurate pharmacy scale weekly and sometimes by weekly. Took around a year and a half. When I got to 10 mg, I tapered off of that in about 7 or 8 weeks. Too fast Stopped Paxil Oct 17 2014 At approximately six months off Paxil after a short course of antibiotics, developed major panic anxiety attacks. Started taking 1 mg of Ativan for about 3 weeks for this. Then on forth week tried to take Ativan ever other day or every two days. Stated experiencing withdrawal. Now I am trying to stabilize on .75, by taking .25 every 8 hours (.25 at 7am, .25 at 3pm .25 11pm) Link to comment
btdt Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Your welcome... how are you holding up? She is at peace now no more pills for her. I wish you peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
pillprob Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 not doing well at all Started Paxil for major depression at around 25. Up to 60 mg fast. Started weening at around 22nd year on it. Was cutting tiny bits on a very accurate pharmacy scale weekly and sometimes by weekly. Took around a year and a half. When I got to 10 mg, I tapered off of that in about 7 or 8 weeks. Too fast Stopped Paxil Oct 17 2014 At approximately six months off Paxil after a short course of antibiotics, developed major panic anxiety attacks. Started taking 1 mg of Ativan for about 3 weeks for this. Then on forth week tried to take Ativan ever other day or every two days. Stated experiencing withdrawal. Now I am trying to stabilize on .75, by taking .25 every 8 hours (.25 at 7am, .25 at 3pm .25 11pm) Link to comment
btdt Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I would be completely surprised if you were... do the best you can that is all anyone can do their best. Try to have some time for you to care for your health... hear a relaxation video talk a walk.. get some distance. I know it is rough but this is the best I can think of. Do you have sibling to share with? sometimes it helps. peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted June 14, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 14, 2015 I'm sorry about the loss of your mom pillprob. As BT wrote, its not surprising you are not doing well at the moment. Take extra care of yourself through this difficult time. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Skyler Posted June 14, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 14, 2015 Mother passed away on Wednesday. I'm sorry to read this PillP. It's really hard to lose parents, especially when our own pain makes us vulnerable. As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule. Requip - 3/16 ZERO Total time on 25 years. Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10) Total time on 25 years. Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section. "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin Link to comment
pillprob Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 Adedonia, apathy and motivation. Let me just cut right to the chase. It seems as though that their are many people who are 3, 4, 5 or more years out that talk about having this as a permanent thing. This is very scary to me. You were all talking about such things as chemical labotomy, struggling to go anywhere, just not wanting to do anything, no accomplishment reward feeling, demotivation,Not having that natural spark of enjoying anything. Making plans but never wanting or caring about carrying them out. Emotional flatlining. Not caring about being around or talking to anyone. I terrifyingly came to the conclusion that it really seems like this could be a life sentence for allot of people. Will anyone please tell me if you have gotten any better and if you know of anyone else that has gotten any better with this? This has been the hardest pill for me to swallow and I think it is at the core of my suffering. I am extremely scared. I am desperately trying to believe that this gets better but their is allot of candid people on here that are saying it don't that have been off medicine for many years. Started Paxil for major depression at around 25. Up to 60 mg fast. Started weening at around 22nd year on it. Was cutting tiny bits on a very accurate pharmacy scale weekly and sometimes by weekly. Took around a year and a half. When I got to 10 mg, I tapered off of that in about 7 or 8 weeks. Too fast Stopped Paxil Oct 17 2014 At approximately six months off Paxil after a short course of antibiotics, developed major panic anxiety attacks. Started taking 1 mg of Ativan for about 3 weeks for this. Then on forth week tried to take Ativan ever other day or every two days. Stated experiencing withdrawal. Now I am trying to stabilize on .75, by taking .25 every 8 hours (.25 at 7am, .25 at 3pm .25 11pm) Link to comment
btdt Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 here you go a list for any drug you would like success stories http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/28-success-stories-recovery-from-withdrawal/ WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus JanCarol Posted June 19, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 19, 2015 Hey Pillprob, you wrote: Adedonia, apathy and motivation. Let me just cut right to the chase. It seems as though that their are many people who are 3, 4, 5 or more years out that talk about having this as a permanent thing. Keep in mind that this is a very unique group, statistically. The percentage of people who have had trouble with psych drugs here is far higher than the general population. Additionally, if you asked any of them who seem to have "permanent damage" (I know a few) - this damage is nothing compared to who they were on the drugs, and they would never go back to them. One thing that happens with tapering (which you will do, eventually, with the Ativan) is at some point during your taper you will realize that you are better. You still suffer, but you are better. I encourage you to look at where you are now, and where you were 6 months out from the Paxil w/d. I'm giving you odds of 10 to 1 that you are better than then. It's all relative. I've talked to people with permanent nerve damage. I, personally, face the probability of a lifetime depression struggle. But I choose that struggle over the damage that the drugs have done. There are many facets to recovery - it's not just about "getting off the drugs," as it may seem sometimes. It's about getting support, socially, professionally, medically, family, friends. If you had a psychologist tell you that Paxil was your best friend - first off, I want to smack him/her - what a thing to say! Secondly, if that is true - then man, you need to get out there and make some friends! It's harder for men, women just naturally gravitate towards conversation and bonding (when we're not backstabbing and catfighting! ) Someone here suggested AA, or AlAnon, or surely there's an 12-step for Benzos by now? The avenues for men to make friends are fewer than for women. But your life would be so much more bearable with a peer or peers. Additionally, in Australia, it is recognized that the additional burden for carers (as you, caring for your wife), is a health risk. We have programs here for respite for carers, and I know that there are some in the USA because my birthmother was a founder of a center in her small town of a center for Alzheimer's patients so that the carers could have a day off. The burden of being a carer is 24/7, and it may be one of the deep, fatiguing causes of your depressions. I'm not saying it's the only one, just a contributing factor that - as Fresh suggested - getting some help around the house might ease. You have another problem because you are a man, and your self-esteem is wrapped up in what you ***DO***. Even though you haven't been working - you have some pride and stubbornness about being the one to care for your wife - even when you have other options. Do you fear what will happen if you don't have that responsibility driving your day? Maybe that release of responsibility is exactly what you need. Don't sweat the ativan, stay stable with it, as so many others have suggested. It may be a drag on your already fatigued system, but at least it soothes the Paxil w/d beast, somewhat. Here's a question for you - did the ativan numb your feelings - anhedonia, depersonalization - etc. about the loss of your mother? Do you feel you should have felt it more? This is a common enough complaint. The key word here is "should." There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. If, however, you had feelings over her death and around her funeral, then rest assured that the ativan isn't "damaging" you or "impairing" you. If you did have the numbness, instead of feeling, relax. It happens to many of us. You will complete your grieving process in your own time. Here is other SA'rs discussion of grieving on and off the drugs in withdrawal: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8028-grief-and-loss-of-capacity-from-adverse-drug-effects/ I am sorry for your loss. Don't let the DSM or anybody tell you how long it is appropriate to grieve. Let your body, your heart, your being decide, and honor her life in your own way. "Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again. My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices. A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia. CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013. Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine). Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 - Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years on Lithium). Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made. The tedious thread (my intro): JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium The happy thread (my success story): JanCarol - Undiagnosed Off all bipolar drugs My own blog: https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/ I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016! Link to comment
pillprob Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 Hi JanCarol. I think allot of what you say is on the money. I am feeling and able to grieve. Things are changing. Let me clear up what my psychologist meant. He did not mean that the AD was a good friend. What he meant was that I chose to contain myself with the AD. I made it my friend and it was the "friend" that got me through the years. It was a chemical friend. Just like people make pot or alcohol their friend. I made the AD my friend. So when I asked my psychologist why am I having thy withdrawal and why is it so difficult, he was saying because I gave up my friend, so to speak. So I have to make real friends now. He was all for me getting off the AD. Started Paxil for major depression at around 25. Up to 60 mg fast. Started weening at around 22nd year on it. Was cutting tiny bits on a very accurate pharmacy scale weekly and sometimes by weekly. Took around a year and a half. When I got to 10 mg, I tapered off of that in about 7 or 8 weeks. Too fast Stopped Paxil Oct 17 2014 At approximately six months off Paxil after a short course of antibiotics, developed major panic anxiety attacks. Started taking 1 mg of Ativan for about 3 weeks for this. Then on forth week tried to take Ativan ever other day or every two days. Stated experiencing withdrawal. Now I am trying to stabilize on .75, by taking .25 every 8 hours (.25 at 7am, .25 at 3pm .25 11pm) Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus JanCarol Posted July 16, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 16, 2015 I think I like him - it was a gentle way to talk about "using the AD as a crutch" to lean on - like a "best mate in a bar" - you can drink more, when you've got someone to lean on..... So - any ideas or strategies about how to make new friends? When my husband was lonely, he started going to the local community theatre. He didn't volunteer or anything, just went to the productions. It was entertaining, and while it took years, he did make some real friends there that I think would do anything to help him out. Most men have "work friends" - but if it's anything like women - once you leave work, you don't want anything to do with them. Some people go to a gym to feel social. But many people in the gym are driven, and intimidating - and have their earphones plugged in, so don't want to chat. I've made friends in laundromats, before. I mean, you're pretty much trapped there for 2 hours, why not have a conversation? These are some of my strategies, and strategies of my friends. What do you reckon is "doable" for you? Would work for you? "Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again. My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices. A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia. CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013. Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine). Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 - Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years on Lithium). Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made. The tedious thread (my intro): JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium The happy thread (my success story): JanCarol - Undiagnosed Off all bipolar drugs My own blog: https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/ I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now