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oskcajga

Parents completely in denial about my situation.

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oskcajga

Hi There,

 

I posted my story here:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8788-oskcajga-partial-recovery-ssrisnri-withdrawal-and-adverse-reaction/

 

Basically, I went from a very high functioning member of society to a nearly bed-ridden, completely disabled, temporarily homeless, and totally broke guy who lives in his father's basement free of rent.  Unfortunately my family is very dysfunction, parents being divorced, and they hate eachothers guts.  My dad is supportive of the fact that I cannot work right now, and has been a godsend, because I'd be homeless without his help (no one else back in California, not even good friends were willing to give me a place to stay for free for a long term period without working).  My father is totally in denial and just doesn't understand the magnitude of my problems, but he also doesn't ask and probably realizes that something is seriously wrong (just not exactly what yet).

 

My mother is a major problem for 2 reasons, 1)  for over 2 years I've been trying to explain to her that I have serious problems and that there is no cure for it, and she has basically completely denied this as a fact and INSISTS that I continue my old level of productivity.  Normally, I'd say **** this person, you *******, **** you and go to hell, and just break off the relationship (as I've done with many many other people).  But #2 my mother has all of the money.  We're not a rich family by any stretch of the imagination, but my mother has MUCH more disposable income than my father, and was giving me a very small amount of it each month to help me from going bankrupt.  That has stopped, as I moved into my dads house, and she has some sort of crazy borderline personality disorder where she cannot differentiate her own child from the man she was married to and hates.  So she loves me, but REFUSES to support me now.

 

My question is how the heck do I get across to this woman the severity of my problems?  When I go there, I put on a big show and try my best not to demonstrate how disabled I am, but I cannot read, and write anymore in any meaningful way, and I have a very hard time thinking in a competitive way that would allow me to hold down any sort of serious employment.  I need money from her, but she makes my life miserable to get it. 

 

I'm like 3-4 months away from going bankrupt and losing everything, and it just pisses me the **** off that my own mother isn't willing to give me a couple hundred dollars a month to keep me afloat.  I've literally cut ALL my bills and ALL my expenses down to the point where I need between $300-400 a month to get by.  My father would totally give me the money, but he's in so much financial trouble right now, I wouldn't dare ask him.  My mother owns her own house, and has a nice middle income job and takes fancy vacations and drives nice vehicles and is extremely selfish with her money.

 

Sometimes, well often to be honest, I wish that I had cancer.  Because at least if I had cancer, I'd have a diagnosis and something to tell everyone.  Right now, I'm just a "lazy incompetent" person in the eyes of society, and it just pisses me off.

 

If I can somehow convince everyone on my mothers side of the family whats going on, and WHY I can't work, I think I'd have a shot at getting some financial assistance.

 

Anyone have any tips?  My current plan is to just sit everyone down at dinner and tell them all what's going on, and what I'm doing.  Just throw all the denial out the window and get serious about it and tell them.  At least if everyone is there when I say it, there won't be any way for my mom to conveniently forget how disabled I am and label me as lazy, and not help me stay afloat.

 

I'm just unbelievably frustrated at how sh*tty some family members can be about this, AFTER I've told them over and over and over again about the issue and sent them links to reputable sources etc.

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Mort81

Your not alone on this. The only people who understand what your going through are people who have gone through it themselves. I tend to avoid certain family members and friends right now. When this thing gets under control than I'd be happy to see everyone again. I wish you luck, maybe you have nothing to lose by talking to everyone. Someone in your family might understand.

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Mort81

Your not alone on this. The only people who understand what your going through are people who have gone through it themselves. I tend to avoid certain family members and friends right now. When this thing gets under control than I'd be happy to see everyone again. I wish you luck, maybe you have nothing to lose by talking to everyone. Someone in your family might understand.

 

My parents and friends don't understand. They see how much distress I am in but think doctors have the solution and can provide instant relief with more pills. I keep telling them it's time that will heal me, pills can only get in the way.

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bluebalu86

I'm sorry I can't give you any useful advice on how to deal with this messy situation, but I know how you feel. No one understand me either. Thankfully my parents haven't abandoned me yet and if they do I'll probably die because I cannot take care of myself at the moment. I wish you luck with trying to talk to them. I hope they understand. I usually cry when no one understands me but it doesn't seem to help - they think I'm crazy. 

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oskcajga

I'm sorry I can't give you any useful advice on how to deal with this messy situation, but I know how you feel. No one understand me either. Thankfully my parents haven't abandoned me yet and if they do I'll probably die because I cannot take care of myself at the moment. I wish you luck with trying to talk to them. I hope they understand. I usually cry when no one understands me but it doesn't seem to help - they think I'm crazy. 

 

I can't really cry on demand anymore, because the emotional parts of my brain have been so damaged from these drugs.  But I found crying to be a pretty effective way to get my mom to help me, so maybe I'll try to fake cry if I can't conjure anything real.

 

You're totally lucky that your parents take care of you, they don't really have to understand as long as they do their job as parents and help you that's really the most important thing.

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btdt

I am old my parents are long dead I am a mother I would help my child if I could maybe she is afraid she is enabling some sort of bad thing in you... I know your real I know all this is real. 

 

I would not try to fake cry as for me that would be a failure I can't fake anything I can barely get by with the real world faking walking talking some days. 

 

I would send her some of the articles from the Journal section here... talk to her.  Tell her how much your changed if you can how much you want you life back how it is not won't but can't.  Tell your father too... if you could find a therapist in your area who is aware of all this maybe that would help if she had to pay somebody to tell her your in wd maybe she would believe it. 

 

There is a list of docs here on SA that work with wd none where I live tho. 

 

I would think it could be done now when your a short time off drugs try telling people after 7 years like me... I can hardly blame them for thinking wd does not last 7 years I don't believe it myself ... we need a new name for this but that is my own pet peeve. 

 

Show them both this video or send it to them 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9103-wd-explained-in-video-rubix-cube/

 

there are other wd videos on utube too if they are more visual... send them your post from here telling it like it is... as I found your posts really good at describing this ... whatever it is. 

 

I hope it works and you get what you need I hope we all get what we need I wish you peace

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oskcajga

I am old my parents are long dead I am a mother I would help my child if I could maybe she is afraid she is enabling some sort of bad thing in you... I know your real I know all this is real. 

 

I would not try to fake cry as for me that would be a failure I can't fake anything I can barely get by with the real world faking walking talking some days. 

 

I would send her some of the articles from the Journal section here... talk to her.  Tell her how much your changed if you can how much you want you life back how it is not won't but can't.  Tell your father too... if you could find a therapist in your area who is aware of all this maybe that would help if she had to pay somebody to tell her your in wd maybe she would believe it. 

 

There is a list of docs here on SA that work with wd none where I live tho. 

 

I would think it could be done now when your a short time off drugs try telling people after 7 years like me... I can hardly blame them for thinking wd does not last 7 years I don't believe it myself ... we need a new name for this but that is my own pet peeve. 

 

Show them both this video or send it to them 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9103-wd-explained-in-video-rubix-cube/

 

there are other wd videos on utube too if they are more visual... send them your post from here telling it like it is... as I found your posts really good at describing this ... whatever it is. 

 

I hope it works and you get what you need I hope we all get what we need I wish you peace

 

Thank you for taking the time to help me out in my situation.  I plan on talking to my mother's side of the family this weekend to explain what's going on.  I'll let you know what happens :/

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btdt

Your welcome I hope it helps. 

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