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Theon: is it possible to have withdrawal from just 4 months of prozac?


Theon

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still emotionally flat... No change... I hate it so much, and when I try to forget about it, someone will make a joke or i will have to make a decision and then I will remember my emotional flatness because I don't laugh or I cannot make decisions because I cannot feel like choosing any of the options, everything is just the same...

 

Withdrawal is not being so bad, earpain is mild, waves of inner restlessness are short, sleep is good, etc,, but the emotional flatness/apathy that started already while on prozac does not want to leave... 

 

8 months since I started prozac, 4 months since I started tappering and 1.5 months since I took my last dose...

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Emotional numbness can be one of the last symptoms to go, see:

 

Anhedonia, apathy, demotivation - Surviving Antidepressants

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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yes, it is defenitely quite enduring, and quite common for what I see in that thread.. thank you for the answer petunia

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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I have a question;

Before prozac i was the kind of person thay would avoid conflict by any means. When somebody started to argue or when someone was upset I always did whatever i could to get things back to harmony.

That was a feature of myself that I really loved and that I have lost during my stay on prozac. Now i am a different person to the worse.

I am scared that those parts of my personality and many more are lost...

Chances are that I recover them eventually or not?

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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My last post was highly driven by my anxiety to recover.. i should stop thinking so much on the changes made by the prozac and just live the best i can..

But actually the fact that i feel more and more anxiety means that the apathy is getting away

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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  • Administrator

What do you mean by anxiety?

 

If you want to be a person who avoids conflict, you could certainly cultivate that attitude. Why not read up on mediation, peacekeeping, etc.?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I mean by anxiety worrying about things that dont lead me anywhere, like thinking over and over about how i was before prozac, how i am now and regreting over and over having taken it...

 

The thing is that I was that pacekeeping person before and it wasspontaneus on me, and i have lost that spontaneity.

 

And this has happened with a lot of features of my personality.

 

I am not suffering bad withdrawal, only earpain, overactivation and emotional flatness (and i am extremely thankful for that) but prozac has changed me to worse..

Anyways I dont think that thinking about this is leading me anywhere..

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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I am thankful for not having bad withdrawal symptoms, not for the emotionla flatness (in case my last comment is misunderstood lol)

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

It sounds like you are recovering Theon, and in time you will just keep getting better, maybe even better than you were before Prozac :)

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Last night I had a dream in which I felt libido again, not very strong, actually quite weak, but the feeling was there. I got so surprised inside the dream that I immediatly woke up, but the feeling was gone, 

 

It's the first time that I feel libido since maybe february, and it has been in a dream lol. 

 

I think it is a good sign, but I don't want to get too glad for it, in case i get dissapointed, and anyways I think there is still a long way until things get back to normal.

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I still feel like the changes made by the prozac to my personality have not reversed yet. I still feel emotionally flat, with numbed empathy and I feel hard to feel enthusiasm for anything. The numbed empathy and the lack of enthusiasm have damaged my social skills and relationships, and that pisses me off...

 

I think that the so-called withdrawal from prozac is over for me. My real problem is the lingering effects of the drug that don't want to leave... The drive to interact with girls is also not recovered yet.

 

So here I am, I don't have awful symptoms and I am not suffering horrid withdrawal, but my life is in a weird blocked state. 

 

I am trying to use this time to exercise hard ( if my mind is blocked, at least let's try to get fitter ) even when it's not so easy sometimes to find the motivation.

 

Any changes I will post them here.

 

Another thought that i wanted to share is how different the whole experience with prozac was last year when I took it for the first time ( 3 months for anxiety)

 

Last year It worked within two weeks, had zero side effects.

 

On the second experience with prozac, it took 2 months to work that were hell of worsened depression/anxiety symptoms, had plenty of side effects when it worked, and it has left me completely emotionally flat.

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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I think it is called kindling (correct me if I'm wrong).  Sometimes taking the same med a second time doesn't work or makes matters worse.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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That's great that you are not having a very bad withdrawal.  You did great with tapering.  I didn't taper since my stupid psych said I was only on for 2 months and I am in month 6 now struggling with intense emotions, SI and outbursts.  Any little stress is too much for me.  You will recover 100% soon I'm sure.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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  • 2 weeks later...

No improvements for me, I still can't enjoy anything... That ability is still missing, I am still flat with no feelings: no empathy, love, fear, worry, etc

 

Of course my libido is still zero and I am starting to wonder if my hormones are screwed up by the fluoxetine or something...

 

I am starting to lose hope. This is just so bad... The worst is that I don't see any movement, every day is the same, there are no windows when I can experience feelings, I have already been emotionally flat for months and nothing changes... 

 

And again (I have said this before) the only thing close to a feeling that I can experience is anger and irritability, so not only I have problems but also I hate myself for being this way (I am a bad person with no empathy and always irritable at this moment)

 

Do you think that meditation can help to feel again?

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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your not a bad person 'Theon' you could try meditation

Sertraline 100mg amytrip 60mg diazepam 4mg (and when needed) since late 90's.Reduced all meds over 6 wks (too short) last doses 13 wks ago.Still having withdrawals.I would have done it differently

5th august 2015 reinstated 5mg amytripiline.increased to 10mg amtrip 9th sept 2015.

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I regret my last post, it's not true that I have not seen any improvement, my apathy/loss of feelings has got better by a 5-10% maybe. And that's very encouraging.

 

I also need to start thinking positive again, stop this self-pity behaviour that doesn't lead me anywhere, and start a behaviour of positive thinking... but it's so hard sometimes.

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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Theon-how are you feeling today? I've had a bad day but reading your post made me feel better. Not that I am happy you are suffering but just to know that there is someone else out there who feels the same as I do. I am praying for improvement and I know we will get there soon. Hang on.

Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014

New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next.

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I'm feeling as always,, everyday I feel pretty much the same; no deep feelings, lack of enthusiasm, apathy, etc.. the only difference among days is that some of them I accept it better, and some days I accept it worse... 

 

The only strategy that I am using to cope is exercising,,, and just try to live normally and ignore my apathy as much as I can... and of course hoping that this will get better in the future, even though ironically I find it difficult to have hope, because of my apathy.

 

But I encourage you to exercise, if you don't do ir already, it helps me to calm down and don't get too upset about my situation, because I don't know about you, but anger is the only "feeling" that is bigger than has ever been, I am irritable quite often and I have to control myself.. hope the irritability goes away soon too.

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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I have the apathy and irritability/anger, too.  Just know it is withdrawal and we can't be like this forever.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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Hi guys. Hope you are having a good day. I feel like Lexapro has really worked against me and made me lose or think I lost feelings for my boyfriend. I don't know if I am in withdrawal or is this how I will feel forever? I don't know how much more I can take.

Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014

New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next.

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Lately I have been noticing that the apathy is reducing but at the same time I am feeling a bit down, not sad but like tired, and also I have been experiencing some bouts of anxiety in which I feel nauseus...

 

The good thing is that this means less apathy... but now that winter is coming I hope I don't get very anxious or depressed..

 

Still exercising and starting to practice meditation as coping strategies... meditation is quite hard though, I am not sure I am doing it correctly

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hey Theon,

 

There are techniques to meditation, but in general, if you are sitting still and watching your thoughts and feelings, you are meditating!  You don't have to have enlightenment and meet Buddha every time you sit - in fact - you will do better to try and fail and try and fail and then find you don't have to try so hard.

 

A student comes to the master and says, "How long until I reach enlightenment?"  "Ah," said the master, "5 years."  The student earnestly asks, "But if I work really really hard, and earnestly, and strive really hard, how long, then, will it take to reach enlightenment?"  "Ah," said the master, "20 years.!"

 

It seems that you did taper very quickly.  It's unclear to me - other than you spent 3 months tapering off of 20 mg of prozac - how you tapered.  I know you had only been on it a short time, and it is good that you tapered at all (your doctor would have had you taper in 2 weeks, likely).

 

You wrote:


 

Psychologically the apathy is all over the place,no libido , no interest about anything... Hating this apathy, being sad and anxious before prozac was so much better.

 

Good news is that i don't have brain zaps and tinnitus anymore.

Welcome to withdrawal, where you get the lucky dip of "symptoms of the week/month!" 

 

I don't mean to be flippant, but it really is an ever changing landscape.

 

Just imagine you are in a forest, sometimes it is the spiders that seem too much, sometimes it is the shadows of a bear, maybe the howl of a wolf, maybe the outlines of the trees against the sky seem menacing - the "threat" is always changing, and it is always chemically induced by the withdrawal.

 

So don't focus too much on what you don't feel, shift your focus instead on what you do feel:  the moss under your feet, the light in the distance (near or far, doesn't matter), the twinkling stars, the cooling, refreshing pool at the base of a waterfall, the glow of the moon on the path. 

 

 

Look for the good things, and the things you pay attention to will bear fruit.

 

Please update your signature to include when you took your last dose, and how much it was.  You are young, so hopefully you will recover more quickly.

 

Still - give yourself time, and be prepared.  If symptoms return in 4-6 months, or more, you will know:  "this is withdrawal" and not your "original symptoms" returning (as doctors might have you believe).

 

I hope you see the sun today (and notice it - "Wow!  I see the sun!")

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Thank you very much foor your kind comment Jancarol.

 

Hey Theon,

 

There are techniques to meditation, but in general, if you are sitting still and watching your thoughts and feelings, you are meditating!  You don't have to have enlightenment and meet Buddha every time you sit - in fact - you will do better to try and fail and try and fail and then find you don't have to try so hard.

 

I am trying the breathing meditation, focusing in my breath to keep my mind free of other thoughts, but I have to redirect the focus to my breathing every second that I am meditate, but maybe that's actually how it has to be... i dont really know..

 

Lately my apathy is deffinitely getting better by windows, I am having windows in which I am able to feel more and most important: to CARE more,, now I am sometimes realizing that I care again about my studies and my relationships with my friends, and that's huge because my studies and my relationships with friends have been deteriorating because of the prozac-induced indifference.

 

Also I am experiencing some waves of anxiety in which I experience a nausea and a feeling of fear like if that something was not ok (typical anxiety) ,, but it's manageable so far

 

Overall this is a positive update, because my main complain is the apathy/indifference/anhedonia, and that is getting better.

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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Today it has been such a bad day... The whole day apathical but yet frustrated about everything, not being able to enjoy anything..

 

well actually I don't remember when it was the last time that I really enjoyed something... guess it was almost a year ago when the second round of meds had not kicked in yet...

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hey Theon - you had some windows, you will have more.

 

Have you ever been surfing?  Have you seen those Hawaiian surfers on those gigantic tsunami 20-30 foot waves when they look like a tiny speck on the wave?  Seems impossible?

 

If you fight the wave, it will engulf you.  You have to learn to surf it.  Skid along the surface.  Label it, "This is a wave.  This is a symptom.  It will get better."  You have had windows, you will have more.

 

Hang in there!  (and yes, that's what meditation is.  Sometimes it feels like - hard work - and then - like windows and waves, a moment will break through and you will think, "I'm doing it!" and as soon as you think that, you will forget to breathe again.  :)  )

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Thank you for your answer JanCarol

 

Yeah, I have some bad waves, but I also have nice windows where my apathy/anhedonia lifts.

 

I think that I tend to expect too much from myself... I think that what I need is just accept the person that I am now, instead of getting frustrated with the desire of being like I was before ssri...  Probably I just need to accept this new apathical, not emotional, not enthusiastic, socially-dumb me...

I should be thankful instead of complaining,, most of the folks here have it so bad,, I actually shouldn't complain at all in comparison

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have been experiencing problems with sleep lately, seems like I can't sleep more than 6 hours per night, and when I wake up I am very activated and can't go back to sleep. It's not like I am anxious (worried), just too activated.

During the  afternoon I am always very very very tired, quite exhausted, but for some reason I can't seep either...

 

Hope this sleep problems get better soon... guess it's just another phase of the withdrawal.

 

My emotional flatness and loss of libido are still here, but I can see them lifting sometimes (not very often though) and  only for less than a second, like I get glimpses of feelings that I had already forgotten.

 

Those glimpses of feelings look very weird though, when I get a glimpse of a feeling it looks so weird that it scares me a bit (not a lot because of my emotional flatness)

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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Glimpses are a great sign. That's how recovery starts. First it's only glimpses for a moment or two, then you get seconds, then minutes, then hours then whole real windows. You'll get better, hang in there. You'll see. Give it more time.

I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.
Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.
Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.
Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.
Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.
December - things getting even worse.

January - unbearable suffering

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This is not an update, it is more like a reflexion of my mental state of last summer (when I tappered the prozac), and I actually didn't have enough insight to make this reflexion until now. 

 

It is about neuro-emotions and intrusive thoughts:

 

I didn't know I had intrusive thoughts, but now that I recall my mental state of last summer, i see that I definitely had them. I had intrusive thoughts of jumping out of a window, of biting my arm and eating it (weird, I know), of doing sexual stuff with old people or children (very messed up...),

 

Those intrusive thoughts didn't scare me because I was so emotionally flat that nothing scared me, but it scared me that I was not scared by them. Like, I was emotionally flat so i couldn't feel the feeling of fear, but I rationally knew how messed up those thoughts were and it rationally scared me, (I dont know if I am making any sense).

 

So I was having horrible intrusive thoughts of being a monster, and I couldn't even feel they were wrong because I was completely emotionally flat, so that made try to feel something, and the only thing that I could feel was anger towards those thoughts , and I used to start punching walls and throwing things to the floor. There was a time when I used to punch myself in the head whenever I had those thoughts, and that was about everyday. That's how I spent the whole last summer.

 

Weirdly I didn't have the insight to know why I was so angry at that time, I am now getting some insight back, and I am starting to understand why I was so angry all the time

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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Hello people,

 

Positive update today, the emotional anesthesia/apathy/anhedonia is getting better and better, today when I was with my friends I had quite a good time, I don't recall having a good time in a very long time.

 

Meeting up with my friends have been an obligation to me for a lot of months (since the prozac caused me anhedonia/apathy). Not that I dont want to meet with them, I justdont care and I dont get any reward from meeting with them, I am just uninterested and apathetic about my social relationships, although rationally I care about my friendships, I dont have the emotional ability to care about them.

 

But I am very happy to say that today I actually did have a good time when I met with them. We didn't do anything special, but somehow I liked being with them, and it's the first time I like something in a long time.

 

This might be a window and I might go back to the apathy/anhedonia, but this window has been the best one since this all started, so today I am specially hopeful about the future.

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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That's wonderful - how long has it been now from your last dose?  Windows are nice.  Enjoy.

Thank you osk.

It was somewhere in July... so 4 full months prozac-free.

Things feel quite different as they did before I reacted so bad to this second round of prozac, like I am not the same person, but today I was able to enjoy a social meeting, and that felt good :)

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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Hi Theon- super happy you had a great time! I think of you and your progress along with my own and I will say each day gets a bit easier..keep updating me on your progress. I always want to hear.

Started Prozac 20 MG March 2014-Sept 2014

New doctor switched me to Lexapro 10 MG and it helped from Sept 2014-Feb 2015 and then I felt the Lexapro wasn't helping as much so he changed the dose to 20 MG and I took that from Feb 2015-July 2015 when I decided to get off pills completely.I had to reinstate as I was feeling so bad and very pressured to go back on pills. My Dr put me on 50 MG zoloft and I took it for about a week..made me feel brain dead. Went down to 25 before I really learned the trouble of fast tapering..finally got a jewelry scale to properly weigh out my pills. Looking to just feel OK. Unsure where to go next.

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Thank you CooperGirl, today the emotional flatness came back full force though... but now I know I am still able to have a good time from time to time, so that's nice.

What I still feel is the change of personality induced by prozac... I think that's a symptom that I will have to deal with for a long time.

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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It seems like I can't sleep more than 6 hours per day... I tend to wake up very early being overly activated and then I can't get back to sleep.

Also I cannot take naps because I am not tired, and I am also not that tired at the end of the day... it has been like this for some weeks now... Is this another phase of withdrawal?. I am already reading the threads about sleep and I see many people suffer from it.

 

Also I have been noticing changes in my appetite lately; I am never hungry, I have to force myself to eat... 

 

My main sypmtom, emotional flatness, is still here with me.

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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