Minny - Any advice at all on Citalopram withdrawal

[Minny]

Hello to everyone and I am so glad I have found this site. 

 

I am in the process of trying my hardest to come off Citalopram and would really love some advice on tapering.  I am sure it is on this site in different places, I am not being lazy I have been trying to research as much as possible constantly for the last 3 days but I am struggling with concentration and taking things in due to brain fog.

 

A little bit of history.  I have been trying to work out how long I have been on antidepressants and I estimate I have been on them consistently since I was 26 I am now 46! yikes.  I also think I had sometime on them when I was about 18 but not 100% sure.  It is hard to think of them in a positive light at the moment but I do think they did serve a purpose I don't know if other things would have worked or not I am trying my best not to dwell on that at the moment.

 

I think my first ad was Dothiepin and after that followed many Prozac, Surmontil, Sertraline, Seroxat, Mirtazapine, Effexor and finally Cipramil.  I have also been on various antipsychotics but not on them anymore - thank goodness.  I have been on Cipramil since 2003 and on many occasions tried to come off them but always told by Drs and psychiatrist you need to go back on them and that if I was diabetic I would have to take tablets....... 

 

I feel they are wrong, very wrong.  I honestly can't believe how naïve I have been for never really looking into any of this before.  

 

I think I came to the conclusion I wanted off them because I don't really feel like they work and because of the side effects.  I feel numb on them, I can't cry, I have no libido.  I want to see if I can manage without this drug in me.  I really like my GP but I don't think he understands.  And I don't think they understand the withdrawal either.  I think they think you can just be off it in a couple of months

 

I haven't as yet even told my GP what I am doing because I know it wouldn't be encouraged and I know if I do say anything then if I ever go in and say I am feeling down and anxious I will be just told to go back on the drugs.  And now I realise that I could be having these feeling because I am withdrawing?

 

Sorry to go on so much.  Please can anyone tell me where I go from here.  I am currently on (I think) 8mg.  This is just guessing by cutting some of the tablet, not ideal I know.  I have got to this point in about 7 months or thereabouts.  I think I must be doing something right because in the past when I have tried to come off I have had to reinstate due to debilitating brain zaps and dizziness.  On those occasions I obviously came off far too quick I didn't know and wasn't told to taper.  Anyway fingers crossed as yet no brain zaps.  The problems I am having is fatigue, no motivation, everything is an effort.  I have a bad back and my pain has increased considerably I don't know if this could be connected.  I can't sleep but this has always been a problem.  I feel overwhelmed and feel as if I really want to cry but still tears don't come.  Last night was the worst night I've had, I had awful palpitations and panic and sweating but felt cold.  Could this be withdrawal?  Also my friend came to see me today and I am muddling all my words up?

 

I hope this all makes sense.  Do I carry on with my 8mg and how long for?  And where do I go from there?

 

Thank you so much for reading.  And my thoughts are with everyone struggling on this journey

xoxo

 

Forgot to add that each time I drop a dose I have nausea all day.  My appetite has also increased (not good) and I have diarrhoea but oddly only till about noon each day.  Sorry if that's too much info

Edited October 22, 2016 by scallywag
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[clearday]

Welcome -

 

Your instincts are correct, your GP doesn't understand SSRI withdrawal. It often lasts a very long time.

 

Alternating doses from 10 mg one day to 20 mg the next day confuses your nervous system and destabilizes it, triggering withdrawal.  

 

Your post makes absolute sense, you fit right in here with the rest of us. That's because these SSRI drugs have the same damaging effects on thousands of people who have been put on them. Many doctors understand that these drugs are powerful and very difficult to come off of. Unfortunately, too many doctors don't understand that, and our care has been mismanaged by them. 

 

Luckily we have this website that has gathered so much information from thousands of have been through this. Here you can find good advice and feeback from those with experience. We are no longer dependent on poor advice from doctors who are shockingly clueless when it comes to managing SSRI administration and withdrawal.

 

Your symptoms are all typical for SSRI withdrawal.

 

A moderator will be along to help you plan your way forward from here.

 

You'll want to find a dose that you can stabilize on. and then do a 10% taper from there.

 

A long slow taper is designed to reduce the severity of withdrawal.

 

Here is our recommended taper schedule: 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1024-why-taper-by-10-of-my-dosage/

[Minny]

Thank you so much Clearday for your reply and the link.  I am encouraged by your signature to see you are 16 months free.  That is music to my ears.

[clearday]

Good luck to you -

 

Here is another link that you may find helpful -

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Minny.

 

As you have been on antidepressants for so long, you may wish to taper very slowly, even with 5% reductions rather than the 10% reductions we recommend.

 

You can make your own liquid for careful tapering. See Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram)

[Minny]

Thank you Altostrata for the link.  I am going to try making the liquid solution  myself till I see my Doctor next week.  Please can you tell me if I have a 10mg tablet and I want 8mg what do I do?

 

After reading and reading yesterday, I feel like a lot of things are falling into place.  I wish I had kept a more accurate record of when I had changed my tablets.  I didn't put this in my original post because I didn't think it was relevant but now I think it is.

 

Last year I thought I was losing the plot and was contemplating suicide because I felt like I couldn't carry on with the noise and vibrations in  my head.  I had tinnitus in my left ear that was loud I felt like my head was vibrating.  I tried to mask it at night with music but my ear then became sensitive to the noise and with each tone my head would vibrate.  I was constantly at the doctors and in the end asked to see someone privately.  I was referred to an ENT consultant.  I had all sorts of tests done including an MRI scan but everything came back "normal"!  He concluded that at some point I had probably had an infection in my ear and that had probably caused nerve damage.  He started me on Amitriptyline.  He gave me a prescription there and then.   About two weeks later on a routine visit to my GP, my GP says he wants me to have an ECG because Amitriptyline and Cipramil together can cause problems with your heart!  Why didn't the ENT consultant know this?  I decided not to take the Amitriptyline.

 

Took cut a long story short I still have the tinnitus and vibration but not at the same level as last year.  I realise now that this could be due to withdrawal of Cipramil. I remember saying to my husband I couldn't believe that I had reached a point when I was trying to cut down on my antidepressant and now the tinnitus had started and was causing depression and major anxiety again.  It has to be connected.

 

I feel pretty alone with this.  I want to be honest with my GP but I don't know if he is going to be very impressed because in a way I suppose I am telling him he has got it wrong, which he has! 

 

Thank you

[clearday]

As you can tell from my signature, ear/head ringing/head pressure is my main problem, caused by nerve damage due to Lexapro (Cipralex) use.

 

Lexapro (Cipralex) is notorious for causing tinnitus, although any of these SSRIs can cause tinnitus, Zoloft is also well known to cause tinnitus.

 

Cipramil (Celexa,citalopram) and Cipralex (Lexapro, escitalopram) are almost chemically identical, so it is not surprising that Cipramil has given you tinnitus.

 

The good news is that the tinnitus can heal once we stop using these drugs. But It usually takes a long time.

[Minny]

I missed that in your signature Clearday.  I am gobsmacked.  WHY didn't anyone pick up on this.  I spent so much  money on investigations that I obviously didn't need.  It isn't about the money I would have pain anything to get well or no the cause.  That has made me quite angry.

 

How is your tinnitus now please?

[Minny]

Feeling absolutely awful and wondering whether I can put up with feeling like this!  Don't know what to do.  Have just read the whole post about switching to Prozac and think I may have to consider this even though it sounds like a bit of a gamble.  I just can't function, I am not sleeping because of the noise in my ear and I am so weak.  Have just managed to have a soak in the bath with some oils but it took all my energy just to do this.  Is this normal?

 

I see my GP on Friday and have taken in some literature on tapering (hoping I haven't offended him)  I will try and put up with it till then

[clearday]

I missed that in your signature Clearday.  I am gobsmacked.  WHY didn't anyone pick up on this.  I spent so much  money on investigations that I obviously didn't need.  It isn't about the money I would have pain anything to get well or no the cause.  That has made me quite angry.

 

How is your tinnitus now please?

 

Gobsmacked indeed! Angry indeed! We're all pretty much gobsmacked and angry when we finally realize how our care has been grossly mismanaged. We sure put our precious brains in the care of a bunch of careless, ignorant doctors. I always trusted doctors. Who knew?

 

My tinnitus is slowly but surely improving. I have had it every night for seven months now. Also during the day, but more tolerable then.

 

It is extremely loud at night and upon waking. It's often described as "the sound of a thousand crickets", or standing next to a loud waterfall.

 

I believe it is a type of paresthesia of the brain. Nerves that have been irritated by the SSRI are now sending out signals to the auditory cortex which creates phantom sounds that aren't there.  Similar to other SSRI paresthesia of the body, creating phantom sensations (pins and needling, tingling, burning) that aren't really there.

 

While it is very alarming and difficult, it can heal, but it often takes a long time.

 

My tinnitus has moved back and forth from ear to ear, usually it is just overall head ringing. I has been quite the horror.

 

Like all SSRI WD recovery, symptoms come and go in waves.

 

For the first time in 7 months, my most recent wave of symptoms has my head ringing reduced in intensity to much more tolerable.

 

It still has a long way to go, but I am very hopeful for continued healing and reduction of symptoms. I'm definitely getting better. 

 

Why are you worried about offending your GP after what he has done to you. He should be apologizing to you after giving you this ear ringing. 

 

It was his duty to tell you beforehand, "If you take citalopram, you have a high risk of developing nasty tinnitus and other severe symptoms". It should now be common knowledge among doctors that SSRIs cause often severe, long-lasting  tinnitus (google "SSRI tinnitus").

 

Did he tell you that before he put you on these medications? Or is he just reckless and stupid when it comes to the tools of his trade?

 

See:

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1736-tinnitus-what-does-all-that-noise-mean/

[Minny]

Thanks for the link.  I am glad to hear your tinnitus is healing that gives me some hope.

 

I shall see what Friday brings when I see my GP

[Flowers]

Hi Minnie

 

I too have been taking Citalopram for the past 12 yrs or so and was told by my GP I would have to take them for the rest of my life. However, I was getting bad side effects and he told me to come off them in 6 weeks. When I got down to 10mgs from 40mgs  I crashed after a too fast taper last December. I was so ill I had to updose and  I am waiting to stabilise before starting a very slow taper off.

 

WD has not been easy for me and I have had all the same symptoms as you. Tinnitus in my left ear has just started too! Grhhhhh!

 

Having always had faith in the medical profession it took me a while to come to the conclusion that as Clearday has said most of them don't have a clue about coming off these drugs. I have found more support and information on this site than my Dr could offer.  the mods here are very helpful about dosage etc and have got me through the last 6 months.

 

If I can be of any help to you I will try my best.

 

Good luck with the Dr on Friday. Don't be too upset if you don't get the support you need.

 

Best Wishes

 

Flowers xxx

[Minny]

Hi Flowers thank you so much for your reply.

 

I realise now through this site I must have been going through withdrawal symptoms for 18 months!  I am hoping I can try and stick it out at 8mg but not sure.

 

How are you now?  How long did it take till the withdrawal symptoms started?  Hope things are settling for you.  It is really frightening the damage these drugs obviously cause.

 

Thanks again

Minnie

xox

[Flowers]

Hi again!

 

Well, once I reached 10 mgs the withdrawal symptoms kicked in straight away. I didn't realise it was WD at the time though. My Dr told me it was my illness coming back because I had stopped my normal dose of 40mg. He told me to take 30mgs and that's when I found this site and everything became more clear. If only I had found here before I started reducing the dose so quickly!

 

I was very ill when I crashed. I couldn't walk, eat or speak properly. I had heart palpitations, muscle pain twitching and tremors and terrible depression and anxiety.  I thought I would be like that forever. With time slowly things have improved.

 

I had a good March, an awful April and May was so much better. I am not saying I don't have symptoms because I do but they are much more manageable. II find it really hard when I get the dreaded anxiety and depression but I don't have that at the moment thank goodness!

 

This is quite scary isn't it? At least now I can see that most of us are suffering similar symptoms of varying degrees and that helps allay my fears a lot.

[Altostrata]

Minny, if you put a 10mg citalopram tablet in 20mL of water, you would take 16mL to get 8mg of the drug.

[Minny]

I apologise if I am writing this in the wrong place but it is a different topic (I think) to withdrawal symptoms?

 

I was wondering does anyone start again on antidepressants and if so what made you do so?

 

I feel like I have been doing quite well with coming of Cipramil I am currently at 1.5 drops, and I was managing.  The tinnitus is still there every time I go a bit lower yes I am quite ill.  The tinnitus does drive me mad at times and the most awful thing at the moment is anger, it is awful and I know this just isn't me.  Or at least I hope this is not the new me!  I don't like swearing and all of a sudden I am swearing really swearing it's terrible and I don't recognise myself.

 

I am going off what I want to ask - sorry.  I have said all the above because I recognise that this could be all part of withdrawal.  BUT the last few weeks I have been under a lot of stress and I am getting depressed , I call it my black hole.  I don't want to get out of bed, everything is too much trouble, I know I don't need to spell it out on this site you know what I mean.  Not feeling suicidal but want to self harm.  What do I do?  I know if I speak to my GP he will say up the ADs, which I am at this moment thinking should I?  But I have come this far.

 

I am taking 5HTP and B vitamins, Omega 3 .  Anyone had any luck with St Johns Wort?

 

Any advice would be great.

 

Thank you

 

 

Minny

[Petunia]

Hi Minny,

I joined the new topic you started with your original intro/update thread, its one intro topic per member. You can use this thread as your ongoing journal to track progress, write about symptoms, ask questions and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want.

 

I also have tinnitus from lexapro

 

I'm a bit confused about what dose you are on now, how many mg are you currently taking? You may have been tapering too fast. Are you using the 10% method?  See Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram)

 

What you are experiencing could be a wave or you could be tapering too fast. I suggest you stop tapering for now until your symptoms settle down. Also let us know how you have been tapering, you may need to updose a little.

 

Stress can also bring on a wave of symptoms so its important to do what you can to minimize stress in your life.

 

Withdrawal symptoms tend to occur in a windows and waves kind of pattern. This can happen while you are tapering and have made a cut or after you are completely off the drug. If you are still getting waves of symptoms after making a cut, it means you need to hold until your symptoms subside. You may need to start making smaller cuts or holding for longer.

 

As you have been on antidepressants for so long, you may wish to taper very slowly, even with 5% reductions rather than the 10% reductions we recommend.

 

If you taper too fast and updose when symptoms become unmanageable, then you are going in the wrong direction, its better to slow down, but continue going in the right direction...smaller cuts and longer holds. Some people need to really slow down as the dose gets lower. Possibly making cuts between 1% - 5%.

 

Please read through: 

The slowness of slow tapers 

Also see our topic on micro-tapers Micro-taper instead of 10% or 5% decreases

 

Its important to taper slowly as the dose gets lower. What we recommend is a taper that's based on a percentage of your current dose not of your original dose. This paper will show you why: http://survivinganti...concentration/ 

(Check out the charts on page 4 and see how the receptor occupancy drops much more sharply at lower doses.)

 

We don't advise anyone take 5HTP or St Johns Wort while tapering off an SSRI or while in withdrawal, both of these substances have an effect on serotonin and this is what you are trying to achieve a more natural balance of. Taking either of these while also taking an SSRI can increase the risk of serotonin syndrome.

 

Please would you get back to us and clarify how you have been tapering.

 

Petunia.

[Minny]

Hi Petunia

 

Thanks for the reply.  I have been tapering slowly using the 10% method.  I got my GP to switch me to Liquid Cipramil so I could be more accurate.  I have been on 1 and half drops for 11 days which is equivalent to about 3mg I think.  I might go back up to two drops and see if that settles things down a little bit.

 

I am just scared of going into deep depression again because that's no fun either!  I am trying to weight up which is the lesser of two evils.  I will go back up to the 2 drops and see if I can get through this.

 

Thanks for the advice about St Johns Wort and 5HTP.

 

It has taken about 8 months to get to 3mg.

 

Thanks again

 

Minny

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Hi Minny,

 

I just happened to read your latest post this morning and was wondering how (and why) you made the jump from 8 mg to 3 mg?

 

You were on the drug for around 20 years yet in the last so many months (about 9) you have reduced it by 90%! It would be no wonder you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

 

You apparently have made a common error in the 10% method and if you look closely at Petunia's post you will see that we recommend a decrease of only 10% of the PREVIOUS dose and no oftener than about every 30 days or so. At the straight 10% of the ORIGINAL dose you were doing you would be about at 9 mg this month (starting from 30 mg on Oct 2014) and that is way too fast for most people and tends to spark withdrawal symptoms because the body cannot adjust that fast to the removal of the drug it has modeled itself around for so many years. Tinnitus and mood changes are the body's warning signals that things are moving way too fast.

 

You say you are taking what you believe to be 3 mg of the drug now in '1 1/2 drops'. What is the concentration of the drug? How many milligrams is a 'drop'? When getting down to the lower doses accurate measurement is critical and you may be getting far less of the drug than you had planned because of the inaccuracy of measuring 'half a drop'. That can spark wd symptoms too.

 

Rushing off a drug is generally not a good idea unless your life is in danger (let's say because of anaphylactic shock or serotonin syndrome). Withdrawal symptoms can last for months or years and can generally be avoided (but not always for some people but for most people, yes) with careful tapering that can last years. We have several members here who are doing just that and their stories are remarkable for their patience and what they had to go through in the beginning to finally learn that slower is better. Look up member 'Hudgens', he did a micro micro taper at the end and he still felt a bit rocky for awhile.

 

Good luck to you!

[Minny]

Hi Cymbalta,

 

Thank you for taking the time to reply.  Back in October I was taking 20mg one day and 10mg this was following my Doctors advice.  By the time I had found this site back in May I was down to slicing bits off 10mg tablets and I admit estimating I was on about 8mg maybe a bit less.  Following things I read on here I managed to get my GP to change me to drops.  It says on the box which I haven't got in front of me at the moment 4 drops is equivalent to a 10mg tablet. 

 

So I started at 3 drops which equals about 7 mg without I am using the word about because I haven't got a calculator in front of me.  So I have probable gone from the 3 drops to 1 and half too quickly.  If I hadn't have found this site I wouldn't even know it was withdrawal symptoms I was having.  I've been living with the tinnitus now for I don't know how long.  A few year ago when I was on 60mg, I just did I was told when I had to lower to 40mg?  No wonder my brain is so messed up. 

 

Just found my bottle it says 1 drop = 2mg so yes I am on 3mg.

 

I see what you are saying about the tapering but when I found this site I was on 10mg, it was too late to go back up because the damage was already done.  So my tapering has really started from 8mg, if that makes sense.

 

Many thanks

 

Minny

[Minny]

Ps Just read your signature and realise am in the same boat I found the site too late to reinstate also

[Altostrata]

Minny, when was the last time you decreased?

 

You might find it easier to track your dosage if you used an oral syringe to draw your dose. They are marked in drops and in milliliters. You would want to use a 5mL oral syringe now and a 1mL oral syringe later when you're down to very, very small dosages. See Using an oral syringe and other tapering techniques

 

It's always easier for us to talk in terms of milligrams taken, rather than drops or milliliters, as the concentrations of the liquids vary.

[Minny]

Hi Alto,

 

I made my last decrease 10 days ago.  Thanks for the link about the oral syringe I will get one and definitely start slowing down even further .

 

Thanks

 

Minny

[Minny]

Please forgive me for sending you a private message but I am desperate and worried if I just put it in my diary that it won't get read.  I am at my wits end and don't know what to do?  In my last post I think I was trying to ask is there at any point that it is wise to take starting the antidepressant again?  I am really struggling putting my thoughts down so please bear with me.  I know you are going to say that you are not a Dr and I appreciate that but you do have the knowledge of these drugs more than Drs. 

 

I see my GP on Wednesday, and I know with my symptoms he will just up the antidepressants I just want some knowledge if this is the right thing to do.  I accept and understand most of the withdrawal symptoms tinnitus, diarrhoea, sickness, fatigue, insomnia etc.... but my problem is depression when do you differentiate between withdrawal and really bad depression (the reason I was put on them in the first place)  I am back there, in my black hole, I don't want to live like this, I can't see a future, I never wanted to be back in this place.  I am having flashbacks every night to something that happened in childhood that I just don't want to remember.  (I have had psychotherapy and counselling etc for this, but its like it all happened yesterday and it was 30 years ago) 

 

I was planning my exit on Saturday and justifying the people in my life that would be ok without me, I then received a text from someone whose life it would mess up!  I was and am mad with that person but here I still am.  I guess I must still have some fight in me because I am sending this message to you.

 

Please feel free to post it in my diary if you think its relevant, I just needed to be sure someone read it.  Are there any links to people who have been through similar and come out the other side?

 

Many, many thanks

 

Minny

[ChanceLucky]

I haven't read through everything in this thread yet, as I'm going through a bit of a crisis myself. However, I really hope you fight through this. Psychologists know that mood fluctuates throughout the day and across days - so there definitely will be better times ahead.

I'm not sure about distinguishing withdrawal from relapse, which is what I think you're asking. That seems quite challenging. Others here can comment too.

You're still here? You got me worried.

[Minny]

Hi ChanceLucky

 

I am still here and thankfully feeling a bit better.  I think I had some kind of "episode"  it was so scary.  The last few weeks have been REALLY stressful, stress that couldn't be avoided, my best friend had a ruptured brain aneurysm and it was touch and go for a while.  She is doing ok thank god the operations seems to be a success.  It sounds awful going on about me wanting not to be here when she was fighting for her life.  That made me feel guilty.

 

I am not the best at writing so I hope everything doesn't sound too muddled.  As I said I had a few weeks of stress not just that event other things also, I wasn't sleeping which has always been a problem for me but it was worse than usual.  Everything just felt out of my control.  It just all came to ahead on Saturday I had an event to go to which in hindsight I shouldn't have even attempted to go to, but I didn't want to let my husband down.  I got there at 8.30 am and was feeling a bit weird.  We show cattle and I was showing an animal who was not well behaved!  Poor animal was probably more nervous than me or picking up my fear.  I came out of the show ring and I was shaking really shaking, I said to my husband I need to go home.  He thought he was doing the right thing by saying you'll be ok just come and stand outside for a bit.  Big mistake!  What happened next was just so strange it was like an out of body experience, firstly my hearing went funny kind of dulled, then my site again I can only describe it as dulled, my husband was talking to me but I was just looking at him.  He finally realised I had to get out of there.  It gets worse my mind was just focused on getting home, as I was leaving the showground three children stopped me and stood in front of my car I don't know what they were going on about they were just laughing, I asked them to please move and they didn't - I lost it, I can't remember everything, I said something along the lines that if they didn't move I would run them over and started revving my engine, the mother came over had a massive row with her and think I told her to xxxx off oh god I am cringing writing this, I don't swear, I am so mild mannered it was like I had been taken over.

 

Don't remember the journey home,  just remember thinking I want to die NOW.  I came in and sat down and started looking up on the computer how to commit suicide successfully, I have tried before and obviously didn't do it correctly.  Then the voices came, two voices as clear as day it was like stereo speakers they were arguing with each other and me, I was screaming at them to shut up because they were making me more confused.

 

Too cut a long story short I took 10mg of Diazepam and put head phones on and lay on the bed and must have drifted off to sleep.  When I woke up the voices had gone.  I was a bit calmer but still suicidal. 

 

I am sorry its such a long post but I think it is important to share just in case anyone else is going through anything similar.  It is now 5 days later and I am in a better place,  I've had a couple of better nights sleep (with sleeping tablets i'm afraid)  I am more rational.  See my GP this afternoon.  I still don't know what to do about medication?

 

Good luck to everyone on this site, I did a lot of reading of peoples stories yesterday and it is truly heart-breaking.

 

xoxo

[Minny]

After reading quite a bit on this site, I get how it works more duh! 

 

This is my diary.  I have only been using it at times of crisis, but will write more now of how I am feeling even if just on a weekly basis. 

 

I am trying to decide before I go to the Drs what to do about my medication because I think I will be told to up the dose?  I want to try and stick at 3mg and see if I can stabilise does this sound wise or am I maybe best going up 1mg whilst I am still in a time frame?  Any suggestions please?

 

If I can stabilise at 3mg that would be great I think then I am going to stay at that level for a good while.  I go away on holiday in October and I would like to be in a better place by then.  So I think it would be a good idea maybe not to mess around with the dosage until i get back from holiday?   What is the rush anyway?  Why did I rush? Oh well.  Today is definitely a better day.

[Altostrata]

Read How do you talk to your doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

[bubble]

Hello Minny,

 

this is the thing about waves: they come and GO. And every time they come we can't believe they will go away and won't destroy us.

 

You are thinking in the right way: holding long at 3 mg sounds like a good plan. More isn't necessarily better. More is just changing a dose which violates stability and it is stability that helps our CNS to heal.

 

Why do you feel you have to do what your GP says? Especially if you have an experience of feeling worse after following his/her advice... The link Alto provided will help you with that.

 

Don't get discouraged if you feel bad again. That's also the nature of the waves: they come and go and COME AGAIN (and go again).

 

We have to learn to be gentle with ourselves and listen to our bodies even when it makes us look bad in the eyes of the others.

 

Take care.

 

Bubble

[Rosie20yearsago]

Hi Minnie,

Sorry you had such a bad wave! Glad today is better. Good luck Friday with telling the doctor what you want to do! Depression is for me also worse than other symptoms partly because you cannot then differentiate the illness from the disease. I have also been on citalopram for a long time and have tried many times to stop. But now that we have all this information on tapering and support, we stand a fighting chance to actually become drug free. We just somehow have to find ways of getting through the worst bits. Mindfulness and meditation have helped me a lot even though I cannot always manage them!

TAke care and good luck

[Minny]

Thanks for all your replies.  I will read the link later Alto.

 

I went to GP yesterday, I had decided before I went what I was going to do and that is to stay at 3mg at least till after my holiday in October, maybe longer if needs be.  I will then do a micro taper and go REALLY slow.  I slept well last night what a difference that makes.

 

I finished reading Cymbaltas thread last night, heck at times I wish I hadn't started reading it, it is so upsetting what people are having to go through.  She brings up the topic about whether it is depression or withdrawal, I am really mad because I thought I had saved the page and this morning I can't find it, I wanted to read more about it, will have to start reading the thread again to see if I can find it unless anyone can tell me a quicker way?  The gist of it though was it is likely to be WD and not the returning depression which is good and gives me hope.

 

Healing thoughts to you all

xoxo

[Minny]

Well it is a couple of weeks since I last updated.  I have stayed on the 3mg and am glad to say the depression/anxiety settled down. 

 

My tinnitus is still bad in the left ear and I also have this feeling as if there is a worm inside my head this is the only way I can describe it.  At night time I feel as if I want to get inside my ear an pull whatever is crawling in my head out!  The other thing is when I am in bed my whole body jumps, literally bouncing me on the bed, it is like having a fit but being conscious? 

 

Does anyone know if withdrawal can cause hormonal changes?  I am 46 so it is possible that I could be starting menopause but also wondering if it could be due to withdrawal.  I am having hot flushes/sweats and periods all over the place.

 

On a good note I have had a few really good days, better than I have had in years.  More clarity and more hope.  So when bad days come I will remember these days to remind myself of why I am doing this.

 

xoxo

[Wingbatty]

It's good you're writing about when you have good days here! When I have re-read my thread I think, "wait, did I really think that? Is that what was going on???" because it's so easy to forget.

 

I just read your signature and it made me laugh... "last year started cutting down by taking 10mg one day and 20mg the next this is what my GP advised.  I started FINALLY doing my own research" I went through that once! Where on earth did they all get this crazy idea. It's the worst idea ever.

 

WD makes me have episodes that are similar to hot flashes, but nothing affecting my periods. At your next gyn visit they can check you to see if menopause is starting! My MIL's started with hot flashes and extremely heavy periods.

[Minny]

Thanks Wingbatty

[Fresh]

Hi Minny ,  the short answer is yes , withdrawal affects hormone levels , and a common symptom is temperature disregulation.  Heat waves  and/or chills are part of the package.   They do get better over time , like all the other symptoms.

 

[Minny]

 

Well it is a few weeks since I posted. I have stuck with 3mg and am still intending to stick at that for now.

 

Everything seemed to be going quite well up until 10 days ago. I have had problems with sleep for a long time but I had actually had started sleeping for about 6 hours a night which for me is just brilliant. I stupidly commented to my husband how wonderful it was and thought I was finally getting better!!!! How wrong. For the last 10 - 14 days my sleep is worse than every. I am so tired and exhausted it is like my body has forgotten how to sleep? Is this a wave I am going through? Why when I was doing so well can I just go backwards like this for no reason, no trigger? It doesn't make sense, none of it does. I am going on holiday in two weeks and am just praying it will settle down by then. Everything goes to pot for me without sleep!

 

On a good note the time from my last post up until sleep deteriorating has been good, really good. Still got tinnitus and problems with memory and getting my words out. But all bearable.

 

Thanks for listening

 

Minny