Marta Posted May 16, 2022 Author Share Posted May 16, 2022 I completely lost my sleep cycle,my appetite is gone, I am shaking and trembling. My right leg is always in a cramp,my arms are painful and on the top of them the skin is hyper sensitive to cold/hot and painful. My wounds do not heal. I feel beyond bad and i feel stuck completely. I curse myself for eating that. I was trying to rebuild my life and I am thinking to end it all. 06/2012 - 02/2015 CIPRALEX 10 mg (for somatic abdominal pain + reflux) - prior to this NOT any significant episode of anxiety/depression on medication: emotional-sexual numbness, total inability to cry, +8 kg, fatigue -> abdominal pain gone 02/2015 - 1/04/2015 tapering from 10 mg to 0 mg doctor advised 05/05/2015 huge anxiety, burning skin sensation, panic, fear, not able to cry again, never-had-before insomnia, totally lost appetite, little loss of vision in one eye, sweating, chest pain, short breath, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat, mild akathisia legs-feet 30/05/2015 reinstated 8mg (I was suggested 5 mg here) middle 07/2015 general improving 10/2015 start disastrous too long taper 7mg 11/2015 6mg 12/2015 5mg 1/2016 4mg 2/2016 4mg 3/2016 3mg ->FAIL back to 4mg .... 8/2016 3mg 8/2017 2mg (short wave in summer '17) 8/2018 2mg stable 8/2019 1mg 1/2020 0.6 mg 1/APRIL/2020 0mg FREE! 7/2020 - 10/2020 MILD WAVE(mostly anxiety, poor sleep) 6/2021 - 9/2021 WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, deep depression, internal restlessness, anhedonia) 0.125g triazolam 2 times 18/03/2022 WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, PAIN in muscles and nerves, arms and right leg,cannot exercise,hard to walk) 0.125g triazolam 3 times 7/5 rein 0.1mg Link to comment
Mentor Greatful Posted May 16, 2022 Mentor Share Posted May 16, 2022 @Marta So sorry Marta this is happening to you-this can be so overwhelming😓 May heart goes out to you. Don't let you distorted thoughts get in the way of finding hope and healing...So easy to get sucked down into the negative spiral...but Marta you are stronger then you think...I know it sure doesn't feel like it as time-but remember you are getting through it-♥️ https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/ 1995? Prozac, tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015 Kindled Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016 ended back on Prozac and Lamictal 200mg 5/2020 thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg Prozac down to 3mg. Crashed 12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct 1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct 2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg. Became hypo manic 2/1 6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25 25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg. 2/24 100mg 4/9 75mg 4/21 37.5 2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr 3/3 100mg 3/17 150mg side effects ct 4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg 4/14 7.5mg 4/30 10mg 5/10 7.5mg 2021/ 5/16 5mg Lexapro 37.5 Lamictal 25mg trazadone, xanax .0625mg 3x a day Lexapro Taper> Sept/01/2021 4.90mg> Sept/25 4.75mg> Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid 4.2mg (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg> 2/24 3.8mg slow taper to Aug/12/2022 2.04mg 2023> 2mg, 1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024 0 Lamictal taper 4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22- 0 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg July 2023 0 Xanax 0.0625 3 x a day, 2023> 0.042 3x a day Supplements Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted May 16, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 16, 2022 1 hour ago, Marta said: I am doing always bad. No improvements. I start to think my strange physical symptoms may have come from the mussles. It was what started all. I am desperate. As I used the floriquinolone antibiotics like 10 years ago they may have reactivate something??? I don't know anymore. I have a long term damage, every day I don't feel any improvement Marta, did the neurologist test for Covid antibodies to see if your fever in March was Covid? Link to comment
Marta Posted May 18, 2022 Author Share Posted May 18, 2022 I still have to do the blood tests. I cannot do anything I am crippled. My old symptoms are 24/7. Now all my joints crak, I have troubles moving, everything hurtd, my boyfriend is really worried because I had a wound and it doesn't heal, my skin is not healing. I am quite sure I got poisoned with the mussles it's not withdrawal anymore 06/2012 - 02/2015 CIPRALEX 10 mg (for somatic abdominal pain + reflux) - prior to this NOT any significant episode of anxiety/depression on medication: emotional-sexual numbness, total inability to cry, +8 kg, fatigue -> abdominal pain gone 02/2015 - 1/04/2015 tapering from 10 mg to 0 mg doctor advised 05/05/2015 huge anxiety, burning skin sensation, panic, fear, not able to cry again, never-had-before insomnia, totally lost appetite, little loss of vision in one eye, sweating, chest pain, short breath, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat, mild akathisia legs-feet 30/05/2015 reinstated 8mg (I was suggested 5 mg here) middle 07/2015 general improving 10/2015 start disastrous too long taper 7mg 11/2015 6mg 12/2015 5mg 1/2016 4mg 2/2016 4mg 3/2016 3mg ->FAIL back to 4mg .... 8/2016 3mg 8/2017 2mg (short wave in summer '17) 8/2018 2mg stable 8/2019 1mg 1/2020 0.6 mg 1/APRIL/2020 0mg FREE! 7/2020 - 10/2020 MILD WAVE(mostly anxiety, poor sleep) 6/2021 - 9/2021 WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, deep depression, internal restlessness, anhedonia) 0.125g triazolam 2 times 18/03/2022 WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, PAIN in muscles and nerves, arms and right leg,cannot exercise,hard to walk) 0.125g triazolam 3 times 7/5 rein 0.1mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted May 18, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 18, 2022 8 hours ago, Marta said: I still have to do the blood tests. Do you have an appointment to get this done (including a Covid antibodies test)? The reason I'm pressing this is because if this is Covid related, you'll likely be able to tap into resources (such as disability) and help that you won't get with psychiatric drug withdrawal issues. Link to comment
Marta Posted May 21, 2022 Author Share Posted May 21, 2022 Sadly there is no single improvement. It's like something assaulted my body leaving me mutilated. Next week I should do the blood test if I can manage. I just write down what I experience 24/7. -anxiety/terror -insomnia, hard to fall asleep for the pain, wake up every day at 4am -lack of appetite -visible trebling in legs arms hands fingers -constant muscles soreness unable to exercise -pain in the right thumb and right middle finger -right leg pulling, cramping in every position, hard to walk -constant skin hypersensitive on my arms, wrong temperature, feeling sunburned -joints popping -feeling of acid running in my arms and weakness in the arms/hands -wounds (cut, scratch) heal scarely slow,dry skin -internal vibration -diffuse fasciculations -burning skin comes and goes in neck back and armpits -jerks if i try to nap (nap is impossible) -dark thoughts of being stuck -dry eyes,mouth -palpitations -pins and needles in the limbs expecially in the night -strong itching after shower -bad skin and strange small pimples I don't know what to think anymore. I see my symptoms resemble floxing, but I took one floriquinolon antibiotic in 2010 last time and I have been healthy for long periods. I have the constant paranoia that someone poisoned me with this antibiotic in secret. I also have the paranoia of long covid, or that the covid vaxins made this. I have the paranoia that some poison was in the food. I also have the paranoia that it's not withdrawal and that it cannot be healed amd my body is disabled. I am struggling minute by minute. 2 06/2012 - 02/2015 CIPRALEX 10 mg (for somatic abdominal pain + reflux) - prior to this NOT any significant episode of anxiety/depression on medication: emotional-sexual numbness, total inability to cry, +8 kg, fatigue -> abdominal pain gone 02/2015 - 1/04/2015 tapering from 10 mg to 0 mg doctor advised 05/05/2015 huge anxiety, burning skin sensation, panic, fear, not able to cry again, never-had-before insomnia, totally lost appetite, little loss of vision in one eye, sweating, chest pain, short breath, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat, mild akathisia legs-feet 30/05/2015 reinstated 8mg (I was suggested 5 mg here) middle 07/2015 general improving 10/2015 start disastrous too long taper 7mg 11/2015 6mg 12/2015 5mg 1/2016 4mg 2/2016 4mg 3/2016 3mg ->FAIL back to 4mg .... 8/2016 3mg 8/2017 2mg (short wave in summer '17) 8/2018 2mg stable 8/2019 1mg 1/2020 0.6 mg 1/APRIL/2020 0mg FREE! 7/2020 - 10/2020 MILD WAVE(mostly anxiety, poor sleep) 6/2021 - 9/2021 WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, deep depression, internal restlessness, anhedonia) 0.125g triazolam 2 times 18/03/2022 WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, PAIN in muscles and nerves, arms and right leg,cannot exercise,hard to walk) 0.125g triazolam 3 times 7/5 rein 0.1mg Link to comment
Ariel Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 @Marta I am so sorry for your suffering. It sounds unimaginably awful. I don't know what to say. I wish I could ease your pain. You are so brave. Hang in there, dear Marta. I don't know what the health care system is like where you live but I hope you can get in to see specialists for extensive testing, if nothing else then to eliminate possible infectious causes of your symptoms. Good luck with the blood test next week. I hold you in my heart and prayers. Love and light and healing, A. 2 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
Ninabird Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 On 5/16/2022 at 5:52 AM, Marta said: I was trying to rebuild my life and I am thinking to end it all. @Marta God himself will fight for you. Just be still. Ex 14:15 I know how hard it is to believe this but you WILL heal. Not sleeping is messing with your thoughts right now. Dear Marta, life will be good again. I promise you, it will. Never give up hope. We are here for you, Marta. I am praying for you. 1 PREVIOUS 2018 Ativan 1mg Oct-Jan (CT), 2019 Effexor 75mg, Klonopin .25mg, Trazadone 75mg, Bridge to Prozac (?dose), 2020 Taper off all, 2021 Zoloft (?dose), Jan-May (CT @ Hospital), Remeron (?dose) Trazadone 75mg, Propanolol (?dose), Klonopin .50mg, Buspar (?dose), 2021 Prozac (?dose), Trazadone 75mg, Klonopin 2 times a day, 2021 August fast taper Trazadone Prozac fast taper in August. August Lexapro 10mg 2022 January Lexapro to 25mg, February FT to 10mg Lexapro over 6 weeks, Klonopin .25mg 2 times a day, May Effexor 35mg, June bridge from Effexor to 30mg Cymbalta. Held on Lexapro until November. supplements 2023 Jan Probiotics stopped taking after two weeks ADR April 1k Iu Vitamin D W/ K stopped after a few days ADR. March 50mg Mag glycinate stopped after a week ADR January 2023 - added an additional .25 mg Klonopin (.25 mg three times a day) CURRENT 1/23-Present Klonopin .75mg divided into .25mg 3 times a day. 6:30am, 12:00pm, 6:30pm 1/23Present Lexapro .101 mgpw - 8.08 mgai 8:00am 1/23-Present Estradiol .50mg 8:00am 1/23-Present 30mg Cymbalta 12:30pm 6/23 to present Holding no changes 7/4 reduced Lexapro to 7.92mg 7/31 7.84mg 8/7 7.76mg 7/14 7.60mg 10/1 7.44mg 10/28 7.36mg 2/1 7.12mg 2/14 7.04mg 3/5/24 6.88mg 3/12 6.80mg Link to comment
savinggrace Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 Marta, My heart breaks to hear of your suffering. For two decades, I have thought about ending it all but I am still here. You have been off the drug for 2 years and you have stuck it out. You are stronger than you think you are. I understand wanting the suffering to be over because I do too. Then, once in a while, I am glad that I am still here. I haven't read your thread, so I don't know what kind of support system you have, but I hope you have a good therapist/friend/confidante with whom you can be brutally honest. I have done that, believe it or not with doctors, and after a lot of "misses" I have a good team of people caring for me now. They can't fix anything but their compassionate, constant presence in my life helps me keep going. If nothing else, keep posting here. Please. You are worth it. Your life matters, probably more than you know. (I have to tell myself this every...single...day) Grace 3 amitriptyline from 1980-2002, intermittent use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T ) tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg. had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam. The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6. I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023. I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing. I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. Link to comment
HealthHopeHappiness Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 10 hours ago, Marta said: Sadly there is no single improvement. It's like something assaulted my body leaving me mutilated. Next week I should do the blood test if I can manage. I just write down what I experience 24/7. -anxiety/terror -insomnia, hard to fall asleep for the pain, wake up every day at 4am -lack of appetite -visible trebling in legs arms hands fingers -constant muscles soreness unable to exercise -pain in the right thumb and right middle finger -right leg pulling, cramping in every position, hard to walk -constant skin hypersensitive on my arms, wrong temperature, feeling sunburned -joints popping -feeling of acid running in my arms and weakness in the arms/hands -wounds (cut, scratch) heal scarely slow,dry skin -internal vibration -diffuse fasciculations -burning skin comes and goes in neck back and armpits -jerks if i try to nap (nap is impossible) -dark thoughts of being stuck -dry eyes,mouth -palpitations -pins and needles in the limbs expecially in the night -strong itching after shower -bad skin and strange small pimples I don't know what to think anymore. I see my symptoms resemble floxing, but I took one floriquinolon antibiotic in 2010 last time and I have been healthy for long periods. I have the constant paranoia that someone poisoned me with this antibiotic in secret. I also have the paranoia of long covid, or that the covid vaxins made this. I have the paranoia that some poison was in the food. I also have the paranoia that it's not withdrawal and that it cannot be healed amd my body is disabled. I am struggling minute by minute. So sorry to hear how you are still suffering @Marta. I have had and continue to have many of the symptoms you report over the last 18 months of my WD. I just want you to know that I understand how scary this is and you are not alone. Hang in there. Keeping you in my thoughts. 💞 1 Mid-August 2020 - started 15mg Mirtazapine, increased to 30mg 2 weeks later. Late-September 2020 - switched to 20mg Paroxetine as Mirtazapine exacerbated RLS. October 2020 - stopped Paroxetine because of worsening RLS, muscle twitching and general restlessness. Mid-October 2020 - Switched to 50mg Sertraline. Restlessness, muscle twitching and other symptoms even worse. Stopped taking it on 18 November following advice from GP - took every other day for a week before stopping completely. Mid-November 2020 - GP prescribed Propranolol to take as and when required for anxiety. Have only taken a few times as it makes me very light headed. January 2020 - currently taking magnesium citrate powder in evenings to help with RLS. Also taking high strength omega-3 fish oil. Link to comment
Pollyjay Posted May 22, 2022 Share Posted May 22, 2022 Dear Marta, I think of you and pray for you many times each day -and night your time. Please know that we all care about you. I wish I could reach out and hold your hand. I seem to remember that you are a physicist? Were you exposed to any chemicals or poisonous substances in your job? You also mentioned that you had a boyfriend. I have one small suggestion. At night when you lay down to sleep, ask your boyfriend to read to you. Maybe from the success/recovery stories here on the forum. I've been unable to read books for the last 6 months so sometimes my husband reads to me. It's very comforting and helped me to become more calm when I was feeling very bad. Maybe it will bring a little relief to your mind and become a comforting ritual, something you can look forward to. It would also put positive thoughts in your mind late at night when things always feel the worst. I wish I could do more to relieve your suffering but I will keep you in my prayers. Please continue to write here and let us know how you are feeling. Try to record every small improvement it will help to keep you strong and hopeful. Pollyjay 3 65 y/o Female Current meds: Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm Off Seroquel since early October 2022 Off Lunesta since early September 2022 Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri. Link to comment
Ninabird Posted May 22, 2022 Share Posted May 22, 2022 @Marta Good morning my dear. You’ve been on my mind. How are you doing today? 🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺 PREVIOUS 2018 Ativan 1mg Oct-Jan (CT), 2019 Effexor 75mg, Klonopin .25mg, Trazadone 75mg, Bridge to Prozac (?dose), 2020 Taper off all, 2021 Zoloft (?dose), Jan-May (CT @ Hospital), Remeron (?dose) Trazadone 75mg, Propanolol (?dose), Klonopin .50mg, Buspar (?dose), 2021 Prozac (?dose), Trazadone 75mg, Klonopin 2 times a day, 2021 August fast taper Trazadone Prozac fast taper in August. August Lexapro 10mg 2022 January Lexapro to 25mg, February FT to 10mg Lexapro over 6 weeks, Klonopin .25mg 2 times a day, May Effexor 35mg, June bridge from Effexor to 30mg Cymbalta. Held on Lexapro until November. supplements 2023 Jan Probiotics stopped taking after two weeks ADR April 1k Iu Vitamin D W/ K stopped after a few days ADR. March 50mg Mag glycinate stopped after a week ADR January 2023 - added an additional .25 mg Klonopin (.25 mg three times a day) CURRENT 1/23-Present Klonopin .75mg divided into .25mg 3 times a day. 6:30am, 12:00pm, 6:30pm 1/23Present Lexapro .101 mgpw - 8.08 mgai 8:00am 1/23-Present Estradiol .50mg 8:00am 1/23-Present 30mg Cymbalta 12:30pm 6/23 to present Holding no changes 7/4 reduced Lexapro to 7.92mg 7/31 7.84mg 8/7 7.76mg 7/14 7.60mg 10/1 7.44mg 10/28 7.36mg 2/1 7.12mg 2/14 7.04mg 3/5/24 6.88mg 3/12 6.80mg Link to comment
Marta Posted May 23, 2022 Author Share Posted May 23, 2022 @Ninabird thanks so much for asking. I really try to survive day by day. It's very hard to find hope. 1 06/2012 - 02/2015 CIPRALEX 10 mg (for somatic abdominal pain + reflux) - prior to this NOT any significant episode of anxiety/depression on medication: emotional-sexual numbness, total inability to cry, +8 kg, fatigue -> abdominal pain gone 02/2015 - 1/04/2015 tapering from 10 mg to 0 mg doctor advised 05/05/2015 huge anxiety, burning skin sensation, panic, fear, not able to cry again, never-had-before insomnia, totally lost appetite, little loss of vision in one eye, sweating, chest pain, short breath, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat, mild akathisia legs-feet 30/05/2015 reinstated 8mg (I was suggested 5 mg here) middle 07/2015 general improving 10/2015 start disastrous too long taper 7mg 11/2015 6mg 12/2015 5mg 1/2016 4mg 2/2016 4mg 3/2016 3mg ->FAIL back to 4mg .... 8/2016 3mg 8/2017 2mg (short wave in summer '17) 8/2018 2mg stable 8/2019 1mg 1/2020 0.6 mg 1/APRIL/2020 0mg FREE! 7/2020 - 10/2020 MILD WAVE(mostly anxiety, poor sleep) 6/2021 - 9/2021 WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, deep depression, internal restlessness, anhedonia) 0.125g triazolam 2 times 18/03/2022 WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, PAIN in muscles and nerves, arms and right leg,cannot exercise,hard to walk) 0.125g triazolam 3 times 7/5 rein 0.1mg Link to comment
Mentor Greatful Posted May 23, 2022 Mentor Share Posted May 23, 2022 @Marta Hang in there♥️ You are doing a great job🤗 1 https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/ 1995? Prozac, tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015 Kindled Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016 ended back on Prozac and Lamictal 200mg 5/2020 thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg Prozac down to 3mg. Crashed 12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct 1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct 2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg. Became hypo manic 2/1 6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25 25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg. 2/24 100mg 4/9 75mg 4/21 37.5 2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr 3/3 100mg 3/17 150mg side effects ct 4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg 4/14 7.5mg 4/30 10mg 5/10 7.5mg 2021/ 5/16 5mg Lexapro 37.5 Lamictal 25mg trazadone, xanax .0625mg 3x a day Lexapro Taper> Sept/01/2021 4.90mg> Sept/25 4.75mg> Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid 4.2mg (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg> 2/24 3.8mg slow taper to Aug/12/2022 2.04mg 2023> 2mg, 1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024 0 Lamictal taper 4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22- 0 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg July 2023 0 Xanax 0.0625 3 x a day, 2023> 0.042 3x a day Supplements Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC Link to comment
Ninabird Posted May 23, 2022 Share Posted May 23, 2022 @Marta We don’t give up hope on this site. 💪🏻 I’m here if you ever need to talk, cry, laugh or get mad. Tell yourself that you got this. sending you hugs. PREVIOUS 2018 Ativan 1mg Oct-Jan (CT), 2019 Effexor 75mg, Klonopin .25mg, Trazadone 75mg, Bridge to Prozac (?dose), 2020 Taper off all, 2021 Zoloft (?dose), Jan-May (CT @ Hospital), Remeron (?dose) Trazadone 75mg, Propanolol (?dose), Klonopin .50mg, Buspar (?dose), 2021 Prozac (?dose), Trazadone 75mg, Klonopin 2 times a day, 2021 August fast taper Trazadone Prozac fast taper in August. August Lexapro 10mg 2022 January Lexapro to 25mg, February FT to 10mg Lexapro over 6 weeks, Klonopin .25mg 2 times a day, May Effexor 35mg, June bridge from Effexor to 30mg Cymbalta. Held on Lexapro until November. supplements 2023 Jan Probiotics stopped taking after two weeks ADR April 1k Iu Vitamin D W/ K stopped after a few days ADR. March 50mg Mag glycinate stopped after a week ADR January 2023 - added an additional .25 mg Klonopin (.25 mg three times a day) CURRENT 1/23-Present Klonopin .75mg divided into .25mg 3 times a day. 6:30am, 12:00pm, 6:30pm 1/23Present Lexapro .101 mgpw - 8.08 mgai 8:00am 1/23-Present Estradiol .50mg 8:00am 1/23-Present 30mg Cymbalta 12:30pm 6/23 to present Holding no changes 7/4 reduced Lexapro to 7.92mg 7/31 7.84mg 8/7 7.76mg 7/14 7.60mg 10/1 7.44mg 10/28 7.36mg 2/1 7.12mg 2/14 7.04mg 3/5/24 6.88mg 3/12 6.80mg Link to comment
Ariel Posted May 27, 2022 Share Posted May 27, 2022 Hi @Marta Thinking good thoughts in your direction. What is the view from where you are? Wishing you moments of peace and relief <3 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
Ninabird Posted May 27, 2022 Share Posted May 27, 2022 @Marta Dropping in to say hello. I know you are going through a tough time right now but know that you have good people on here cheering you on. Stay strong sweet Marta. PREVIOUS 2018 Ativan 1mg Oct-Jan (CT), 2019 Effexor 75mg, Klonopin .25mg, Trazadone 75mg, Bridge to Prozac (?dose), 2020 Taper off all, 2021 Zoloft (?dose), Jan-May (CT @ Hospital), Remeron (?dose) Trazadone 75mg, Propanolol (?dose), Klonopin .50mg, Buspar (?dose), 2021 Prozac (?dose), Trazadone 75mg, Klonopin 2 times a day, 2021 August fast taper Trazadone Prozac fast taper in August. August Lexapro 10mg 2022 January Lexapro to 25mg, February FT to 10mg Lexapro over 6 weeks, Klonopin .25mg 2 times a day, May Effexor 35mg, June bridge from Effexor to 30mg Cymbalta. Held on Lexapro until November. supplements 2023 Jan Probiotics stopped taking after two weeks ADR April 1k Iu Vitamin D W/ K stopped after a few days ADR. March 50mg Mag glycinate stopped after a week ADR January 2023 - added an additional .25 mg Klonopin (.25 mg three times a day) CURRENT 1/23-Present Klonopin .75mg divided into .25mg 3 times a day. 6:30am, 12:00pm, 6:30pm 1/23Present Lexapro .101 mgpw - 8.08 mgai 8:00am 1/23-Present Estradiol .50mg 8:00am 1/23-Present 30mg Cymbalta 12:30pm 6/23 to present Holding no changes 7/4 reduced Lexapro to 7.92mg 7/31 7.84mg 8/7 7.76mg 7/14 7.60mg 10/1 7.44mg 10/28 7.36mg 2/1 7.12mg 2/14 7.04mg 3/5/24 6.88mg 3/12 6.80mg Link to comment
Mentor Greatful Posted May 30, 2022 Mentor Share Posted May 30, 2022 @Marta Sending you a hug-a shoulder to cry on- ears to listen❤️ 1 https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/ 1995? Prozac, tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015 Kindled Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016 ended back on Prozac and Lamictal 200mg 5/2020 thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg Prozac down to 3mg. Crashed 12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct 1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct 2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg. Became hypo manic 2/1 6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25 25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg. 2/24 100mg 4/9 75mg 4/21 37.5 2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr 3/3 100mg 3/17 150mg side effects ct 4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg 4/14 7.5mg 4/30 10mg 5/10 7.5mg 2021/ 5/16 5mg Lexapro 37.5 Lamictal 25mg trazadone, xanax .0625mg 3x a day Lexapro Taper> Sept/01/2021 4.90mg> Sept/25 4.75mg> Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid 4.2mg (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg> 2/24 3.8mg slow taper to Aug/12/2022 2.04mg 2023> 2mg, 1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024 0 Lamictal taper 4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22- 0 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg July 2023 0 Xanax 0.0625 3 x a day, 2023> 0.042 3x a day Supplements Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC Link to comment
Marta Posted May 31, 2022 Author Share Posted May 31, 2022 You are all so kind with your message.❤️ They mean so much, thank you so much from my heart. A part from sleeping a bit more hours the rest is all terrible. If one day I would have better news I will share immediately. 1 06/2012 - 02/2015 CIPRALEX 10 mg (for somatic abdominal pain + reflux) - prior to this NOT any significant episode of anxiety/depression on medication: emotional-sexual numbness, total inability to cry, +8 kg, fatigue -> abdominal pain gone 02/2015 - 1/04/2015 tapering from 10 mg to 0 mg doctor advised 05/05/2015 huge anxiety, burning skin sensation, panic, fear, not able to cry again, never-had-before insomnia, totally lost appetite, little loss of vision in one eye, sweating, chest pain, short breath, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat, mild akathisia legs-feet 30/05/2015 reinstated 8mg (I was suggested 5 mg here) middle 07/2015 general improving 10/2015 start disastrous too long taper 7mg 11/2015 6mg 12/2015 5mg 1/2016 4mg 2/2016 4mg 3/2016 3mg ->FAIL back to 4mg .... 8/2016 3mg 8/2017 2mg (short wave in summer '17) 8/2018 2mg stable 8/2019 1mg 1/2020 0.6 mg 1/APRIL/2020 0mg FREE! 7/2020 - 10/2020 MILD WAVE(mostly anxiety, poor sleep) 6/2021 - 9/2021 WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, deep depression, internal restlessness, anhedonia) 0.125g triazolam 2 times 18/03/2022 WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, PAIN in muscles and nerves, arms and right leg,cannot exercise,hard to walk) 0.125g triazolam 3 times 7/5 rein 0.1mg Link to comment
Ninabird Posted May 31, 2022 Share Posted May 31, 2022 @Marta I am so happy to hear from you. I am also glad to hear that you are resting! Sending healing thoughts your way. 🧡 PREVIOUS 2018 Ativan 1mg Oct-Jan (CT), 2019 Effexor 75mg, Klonopin .25mg, Trazadone 75mg, Bridge to Prozac (?dose), 2020 Taper off all, 2021 Zoloft (?dose), Jan-May (CT @ Hospital), Remeron (?dose) Trazadone 75mg, Propanolol (?dose), Klonopin .50mg, Buspar (?dose), 2021 Prozac (?dose), Trazadone 75mg, Klonopin 2 times a day, 2021 August fast taper Trazadone Prozac fast taper in August. August Lexapro 10mg 2022 January Lexapro to 25mg, February FT to 10mg Lexapro over 6 weeks, Klonopin .25mg 2 times a day, May Effexor 35mg, June bridge from Effexor to 30mg Cymbalta. Held on Lexapro until November. supplements 2023 Jan Probiotics stopped taking after two weeks ADR April 1k Iu Vitamin D W/ K stopped after a few days ADR. March 50mg Mag glycinate stopped after a week ADR January 2023 - added an additional .25 mg Klonopin (.25 mg three times a day) CURRENT 1/23-Present Klonopin .75mg divided into .25mg 3 times a day. 6:30am, 12:00pm, 6:30pm 1/23Present Lexapro .101 mgpw - 8.08 mgai 8:00am 1/23-Present Estradiol .50mg 8:00am 1/23-Present 30mg Cymbalta 12:30pm 6/23 to present Holding no changes 7/4 reduced Lexapro to 7.92mg 7/31 7.84mg 8/7 7.76mg 7/14 7.60mg 10/1 7.44mg 10/28 7.36mg 2/1 7.12mg 2/14 7.04mg 3/5/24 6.88mg 3/12 6.80mg Link to comment
Ariel Posted May 31, 2022 Share Posted May 31, 2022 @Marta Have you been able to get the blood tests done? incl. Covid antibodies test as Shep suggested? Sending hugs 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
Ariel Posted June 1, 2022 Share Posted June 1, 2022 @Marta Out of nowhere my brain suddenly surfaced this beautiful quote which I'd long forgotten. It was originally "given" to me by a very special healer during a particularly powerful session. It stayed with me for many years and held my hand through countless dark nights of the soul. Until just now it had not been in my conscious awareness for a long time. I knew as soon as I remembered it that I had to share it with you! Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark. ― Rabindranath Tagore 1 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
almuPA Posted June 8, 2022 Share Posted June 8, 2022 Hello, dear @Marta, I am so so sorry to read that you are still suffering. Nobody deserves that, it is unfair. I've read that you could sleep a bit more hours. Well, that is an important improvement, even though it does not seem like so at the moment. Sometimes the progress is so slow that we cant really notice it, but I am sure your body is doing what it can to heal. Did you do any of the test? Any results? I know more people asked you already, so excuse my curiosity. You are in my thoughts, dear Marta. If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know. I send you a big hug, mia amica. March 2019: 10mg Citalopram April 2019: 20mg Citalopram October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram. I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). Link to comment
Ninabird Posted June 8, 2022 Share Posted June 8, 2022 Hi @Marta You have been on my mind. How are you doing? Sending you positive vibes and hugs. PREVIOUS 2018 Ativan 1mg Oct-Jan (CT), 2019 Effexor 75mg, Klonopin .25mg, Trazadone 75mg, Bridge to Prozac (?dose), 2020 Taper off all, 2021 Zoloft (?dose), Jan-May (CT @ Hospital), Remeron (?dose) Trazadone 75mg, Propanolol (?dose), Klonopin .50mg, Buspar (?dose), 2021 Prozac (?dose), Trazadone 75mg, Klonopin 2 times a day, 2021 August fast taper Trazadone Prozac fast taper in August. August Lexapro 10mg 2022 January Lexapro to 25mg, February FT to 10mg Lexapro over 6 weeks, Klonopin .25mg 2 times a day, May Effexor 35mg, June bridge from Effexor to 30mg Cymbalta. Held on Lexapro until November. supplements 2023 Jan Probiotics stopped taking after two weeks ADR April 1k Iu Vitamin D W/ K stopped after a few days ADR. March 50mg Mag glycinate stopped after a week ADR January 2023 - added an additional .25 mg Klonopin (.25 mg three times a day) CURRENT 1/23-Present Klonopin .75mg divided into .25mg 3 times a day. 6:30am, 12:00pm, 6:30pm 1/23Present Lexapro .101 mgpw - 8.08 mgai 8:00am 1/23-Present Estradiol .50mg 8:00am 1/23-Present 30mg Cymbalta 12:30pm 6/23 to present Holding no changes 7/4 reduced Lexapro to 7.92mg 7/31 7.84mg 8/7 7.76mg 7/14 7.60mg 10/1 7.44mg 10/28 7.36mg 2/1 7.12mg 2/14 7.04mg 3/5/24 6.88mg 3/12 6.80mg Link to comment
Ariel Posted June 12, 2022 Share Posted June 12, 2022 @Marta Thinking of you, sending wishes of love, light, peace, healing 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
Ariel Posted June 24, 2022 Share Posted June 24, 2022 Thinking of you @Marta 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
Ariel Posted July 4, 2022 Share Posted July 4, 2022 @Marta Sending healing vibes <3 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
Marta Posted July 20, 2022 Author Share Posted July 20, 2022 @Ninabird@almuPA @Greatful @Ariel @Pollyjay and the moderators, thanks for writing and thinking about me. I appreciate so much, if I don't answer back is really because I cannot otherwise not a sigle time I wasn't happy to write here... I just wanted to update even if I don't have any happy ending. I tried a small reinstatement on the 7th of may after being in so much pain, anguish and reaching my lowest weight record. Nothing was happening then out of desperation I increased quite fast at 5mg, it was the 29th of May that i reached 5mg.I did not know what to expect after two years being off and after this shock I gave to my brain. ...well in less than 4 days at 5mg,like a damned switch, hunger and no pain, better mood.I almost immediately got 8kg+. Incredible but true!!! I know my brain needs peace and the reinstatement messed the cards again...but I really I couldn't think on anything else. At my job they were very kind, they understood that I was so sick (they think medically but ok) they didn't give me any tasks for long and let me in home office. The days I felt better I catch up with almost everything. Anyway even if feeling better, I found myself again in the crossroad of staying in that dose or retapering again. And after 3 weeks, 20th june, I decided to retaper. With a syringe and 10% every 3/4 weeks. Don't ask me why I decided to re-taper, I don't have any answer. Anyway I started very soon to feel worse. Nothing to do really, just my anxiety that I had some weird desease is gone, but this doesn't change the fact that I have to go through this painful state again and it's killing me already... 1 06/2012 - 02/2015 CIPRALEX 10 mg (for somatic abdominal pain + reflux) - prior to this NOT any significant episode of anxiety/depression on medication: emotional-sexual numbness, total inability to cry, +8 kg, fatigue -> abdominal pain gone 02/2015 - 1/04/2015 tapering from 10 mg to 0 mg doctor advised 05/05/2015 huge anxiety, burning skin sensation, panic, fear, not able to cry again, never-had-before insomnia, totally lost appetite, little loss of vision in one eye, sweating, chest pain, short breath, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat, mild akathisia legs-feet 30/05/2015 reinstated 8mg (I was suggested 5 mg here) middle 07/2015 general improving 10/2015 start disastrous too long taper 7mg 11/2015 6mg 12/2015 5mg 1/2016 4mg 2/2016 4mg 3/2016 3mg ->FAIL back to 4mg .... 8/2016 3mg 8/2017 2mg (short wave in summer '17) 8/2018 2mg stable 8/2019 1mg 1/2020 0.6 mg 1/APRIL/2020 0mg FREE! 7/2020 - 10/2020 MILD WAVE(mostly anxiety, poor sleep) 6/2021 - 9/2021 WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, deep depression, internal restlessness, anhedonia) 0.125g triazolam 2 times 18/03/2022 WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, PAIN in muscles and nerves, arms and right leg,cannot exercise,hard to walk) 0.125g triazolam 3 times 7/5 rein 0.1mg Link to comment
Ariel Posted July 20, 2022 Share Posted July 20, 2022 @Marta Oh, it's so good to hear from you! Thank you for posting your update. 2 hours ago, Marta said: ...well in less than 4 days at 5mg,like a damned switch, hunger and no pain, better mood.I almost immediately got 8kg+. Incredible but true!!! Dear Marta, you did what you had to do to give yourself some relief and get through. There is absolutely no shame in that. This is NOT a failure by any means. I am glad you managed to find some peace and improvement via reinstatement. I don't know how you feel about it, but I find it somewhat comforting that your experience shows what you were going through was "just" a wave. Escitalopram/cipralex can be such a beast to come off of. This is by no means to diminish or downplay how absolutely awful that wave was while it lasted. I'm just glad it wasn't anything else. The good thing about waves is that they're temporary and they do pass. 2 hours ago, Marta said: I know my brain needs peace and the reinstatement messed the cards again...but I really I couldn't think on anything else. 2 hours ago, Marta said: Anyway even if feeling better, I found myself again in the crossroad of staying in that dose or retapering again. And after 3 weeks, 20th june, I decided to retaper. With a syringe and 10% every 3/4 weeks. Don't ask me why I decided to re-taper, I don't have any answer. Anyway I started very soon to feel worse. Nothing to do really, just my anxiety that I had some weird desease is gone, but this doesn't change the fact that I have to go through this painful state again and it's killing me already... Maybe it makes sense to consult a moderator on this. This past wave was so challenging, and you had success alleviating those symptoms via reinstatement. As you say, your brain needs peace and stability. I am not a mod, but I can't help but think maybe it could be worthwhile to do a longer hold at your current dose and give yourself a good, long rest to stabilize properly and live life symptom-free for a while. Do you think this might be an option? You could resume your taper later, once your system has recovered sufficiently; and maybe when you do resume your taper, it might be worth it to consider going slower, dropping less at a time, and doing longer holds in between. What do you think? I trust you will get off these drugs one day, when your body is ready. There is no defeat here. It's just a matter of working with your system and not against it, listening to your body and what it's telling you. Your body is working very hard to help you heal. Please consider checking with a moderator about this. You are allowed to make things as easy as possible on yourself! I'm thinking of you and holding space for your experience. You are very brave! Sending healing vibes <3 A. 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
almuPA Posted July 25, 2022 Share Posted July 25, 2022 Dear @Marta, It is a relief to hear from you. I am so glad that you could find some moments of peace, it really makes me smile to read that you could eat again and that you felt better overall. So happy for you! On 7/20/2022 at 3:33 PM, Marta said: I know my brain needs peace and the reinstatement messed the cards again...but I really I couldn't think on anything else. Marta, you did what you had to do. Reinstatement has helped a lot of people on this website, and if you were in a state of pain, the truth is that you had to try it. With this I am not recommending or not recommending reinstatement to anyone, I am just saying that the possibility that you may have to go back on the meds is there. On 7/20/2022 at 3:33 PM, Marta said: Anyway even if feeling better, I found myself again in the crossroad of staying in that dose or retapering again. And after 3 weeks, 20th june, I decided to retaper. With a syringe and 10% every 3/4 weeks. Don't ask me why I decided to re-taper, I don't have any answer. Anyway I started very soon to feel worse. Nothing to do really, just my anxiety that I had some weird desease is gone, but this doesn't change the fact that I have to go through this painful state again and it's killing me already... Ariel has already reply to you about it in a much more clever way that I could and I pretty much agree with her/his words. Maybe is good to ask a mod about the best way to proceed. I understand that you dont want to be in AD's for a long time, but if you are feeling better, maybe it is good to give yourself a break from all the suffering by holding the tapper a bit? Of course, it is your decision, we will be here to support you. It is great to hear that in your job they understood and gave you the time that you needed to feel better. Amico mia, ti mando un grande abbraccio. 1 March 2019: 10mg Citalopram April 2019: 20mg Citalopram October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram. I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). Link to comment
Ariel Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 @Marta Thinking of you <3 Sending hugs and healing vibes <3 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
Ariel Posted August 20, 2022 Share Posted August 20, 2022 You are in my thoughts, dear @Marta 1 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
andy96gr Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 Hello @Martahow are you doing now? •01/2017-12/2022 ~6 Years on Generic Escilitopram (5mg-20mg) because of repetitive panic attacks and anxiety that lead to depression. My tapering was not tapering as I read here. I consider it CT because of wrong directions of docs, I went from 20mg to 5mg in a short amount of time and then jumped to 0mg. •01/07/23 Took maca root powder for pssd for 4 days only which I think worsened my symptoms a lot.(Not sure if that was the cause or what came was supposed to come) •15/07/23-01/08/23 Prebagalin) 2x50mg 01/08/23 - 05/08/23. 75x50mg 06/08/23 - 18/08/23 2x75mg an then reduced 19/09/23 - 23-09 to 75x50mg 24/09/23 - 1/12/23 2x50mg. 1/12/22- ongoing 2x45mg( on first week of December happened a mistake in liquid I made and took 4 times double dose ) 15/01/24 - ongoing occasional 5mg diazepam for anxiety. Link to comment
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