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Neonic9: clozapine / Clozaril victim


Neonic9

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I'm 19 years old. I went on Zyprexa for 39 days. For the last half of the days I was put on 20mg. I have been dealing with the loss of my old self, but I have had glimmers of it returning.

Edited by scallywag
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From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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Welcome -

 

This is a support group for people who are trying to get off antidepressants.

 

Are you planning to taper off Zyprexa, or are you planning on sticking with it?

Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned.....

 

Prozac:   20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs

Zoloft:    2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg

Effexor:  2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. 

Lexapro:  10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to:

Lexapro:    5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:
Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016

Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now.

 

24 months SSRI-free  

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi  Neonic9, welcome to SA. Are you still taking the zyprexa?  It is an antipsychotic that has many side effects so there is no wonder you have not been feeling yourself!  Here is our topic on zyprexa  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3743-tips-for-tapering-off-zyprexa-olanzapine/?hl=zyprexa

 

Are you taking any other drugs or supplements, prescribed or over the counter? There could be interactions between them. 

 

We ask all our members to add their drug history in their signature, it would be helpful if you can d that for us, instructions can be found here.

..... 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/?view=getnewpost

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Welcome -

 

This is a support group for people who are trying to get off antidepressants.

 

Are you planning to taper off Zyprexa, or are you planning on sticking with it?

I'm already off them. I only took them for the 39 days. I went cold turkey.

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

Link to comment

Hi  Neonic9, welcome to SA. Are you still taking the zyprexa?  It is an antipsychotic that has many side effects so there is no wonder you have not been feeling yourself!  Here is our topic on zyprexa  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3743-tips-for-tapering-off-zyprexa-olanzapine/?hl=zyprexa

 

Are you taking any other drugs or supplements, prescribed or over the counter? There could be interactions between them. 

 

We ask all our members to add their drug history in their signature, it would be helpful if you can d that for us, instructions can be found here.

..... 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/?view=getnewpost

None at all. I hope my sig is satisfactory.

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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How many days have you been off the Zyprexa? 

Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned.....

 

Prozac:   20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs

Zoloft:    2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg

Effexor:  2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. 

Lexapro:  10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to:

Lexapro:    5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:
Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016

Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now.

 

24 months SSRI-free  

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How many days have you been off the Zyprexa? 

16.

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm glad that you are feeling some glimmers of hope, you are young and will recover but it will take time. It is very encouraging that you are having improvements and will be back to yourself, hopefully very soon.  Some take longer than others, your brain is having to work at gaining homeostasis after the changes the drug made. If I were you I wouldn't touch another psychotropic drug whatever the doctors try to give you, hey think the answer to everything is on their prescription pad!  

Thank you for answering the questions and filling in your signature. 

 

Here is a post that Rhiannon wrote which is excellent and easy to understand. 

 

When we stop taking the drug, we have a brain that has designed itself so that it works in the presence of the drug; now it can't work properly without the drug because it's designed itself so that the drug is part of its chemistry and structure. It's like a plant that has grown on a trellis; you can't just yank out the trellis and expect the plant to be okay. When the drug is removed, the remodeling process has to take place in reverse. SO--it's not a matter of just getting the drug out of your system and moving on. If it were that simple, none of us would be here. It's a matter of, as I describe it, having to grow a new brain. I believe this growing-a-new-brain happens throughout the taper process if the taper is slow enough. (If it's too fast, then there's not a lot of time for actually rebalancing things, and basically the brain is just pedaling fast trying to keep us alive.) It also continues to happen, probably for longer than the symptoms actually last, throughout the time of recovery after we are completely off the drug, which is why recovery takes so long.

 

With multiple drugs and a history of drug changes and cold turkeys, all of this becomes even more complicated. And if a person is started on these kinds of drugs at an early age before the brain has ever completely established normal mature functioning--well, it can't be good. (All of which is why I recommend an extremely slow taper particularly to anyone with a multiple drug history, a history of many years on meds, a history of past cold turkeys or frequent med changes, and a history of being put on drugs at a young age.)

 

This isn't intended to scare people, but hopefully to give you some idea of what's happening, and to help you respect and understand the process so you can work with it; ALSO, because you are likely to encounter many, many people who still believe these drugs work kind of like aspirin, or a glass of wine, and all you need to do is stop and get it out of your system. Now you can explain to them that no, getting it out of your system is not the issue; the issue is, you need to regrow or at least remodel your brain. This is a long, slow, very poorly understood process, and it needs to be respected.

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Thank you for the great post. I am definitely not going touch another drug they try to give me! 


From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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  • 2 months later...

So it's been three months and one day since I quit cold turkey. I would have what I thought were glimmers, windows, breakthroughs, since I stopped, now and again. Music would sound good, my libido and sex drive was back, I could dance, I could play games and enjoy them, I could laugh. Then around August 14 I started having a huge change, I could see colour 'more', I could hear sound 'more', I could touch and feel 'more', it was the closest thing to a trip I've experienced. I thought, This is it! I'm finally back! I even had frequent bowel movements and felt my body was changing. 

 

But...

 

Now I feel worse than ever. Although I now see and feel and hear just like I did before the drugs, I suppose, my brain seems to be permanently damaged, retarded, limited, destroyed. I can't focus, I can't remember, I can't think, I can't have emotions, I can't use logic, I can't be what I used to be. My personality is gone, I feel like a different person, I guess this is depersonalization. I can't empathize, and I feel stupid and dead. I remember what I used to be like and there is no doubt that I'm not just imagining a difference, I REALLY AM CHANGED FOR THE WORSE. And it's scary. But it's almost like I can't fully notice the difference, like my brain thinks this is normal, which scares me even more.

 

I've read that antipsychotics like Zyprexa are worse than antidepressants. I've also read that this brain damage is permanent, and that I'm never going to be back to normal. I'm seriously not sure if I can go on. 

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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  • Administrator

Hello, Neonic.

 

Many people feel a sort of emotional anesthesia when they're off the drugs. This will gradually go away.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hello, Neonic.

 

Many people feel a sort of emotional anesthesia when they're off the drugs. This will gradually go away.

 

Thank you, I hope so. Well, today, I felt better than I ever have since this ordeal began. I've sort of come back down again but that was definitely a breakthrough. I've begun trying the fish oil and magnesium technique that Malf promoted as well.

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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  • Moderator

Hey Neonic,

You've expressed a fear of brain damage.  Many of us have that fear, especially those who have taken antipsychotics (I was on Seroquel for 3 years).

 

Cold turkey is not the best way to quit, you are more likely to have extreme symptoms that your doctor will label "relapse."

 

I know you don't want to go back on the olanzapine, but you are better off reinstating a tiny amount of it, perhaps 5 mg, and then tapering from there.  If you have any symptoms (and they can be overwhelming at times) this is the course to consider taking.  

 

Your brain got addicted, acclimated, used to the drug, and to rip it away is to invite collapse of your "structure" - your firing mechanisms, your sensitivity, your speed and access to different brain functions, like emotions, motor skills, perception, cognitive capacity, etc.

 

You are young, the chances of permanent damage, especially after such a short course, are slim.  However, if you look at "relapse studies," the ones most likely to "relapse" (I'm using doctor's terms here, I believe they are really "side effects") are those who went cold turkey.  Reinstatement is a way to stave off those potential dangers, and you are still close enough to your last dose to be able to do so safely.  It's not a guarantee that you will have no problems, it's more like hedging your bets.

 

The magnesium will help, as will the fish oil.  Additionally, since you are a young Australian male, I will caution you against alcohol and cannabis.  These will only destabilize you further, and make your recovery longer.  If you want to heal quickly, stay away from recreational substances.  The brain is not a playground.  Some people would even include caffeine - I challenge you to listen to your body and figure out what things make you feel better (like the magnesium and fish oil) or what makes you feel worse.

 

As for the length of recovery, most people come in here and think that a matter of days should do it.  This is an error.  Think more long term, as in months.  When you are 4-6 months out, you will have a clearer vision about what life will be like with the drug gone.  Just having it out of your blood stream is not enough - it has made changes in your brain that need to heal.

 

And it will heal, but it takes time.  Sometimes, people can bounce back in a month or less - but more often, the healing continues for months, with gradual improvement.  Be patient, be kind to yourself.  Look at gentle exercise like walking, cycling, swimming, or even yoga or gentle martial arts.

 

Recovery comes in windows and waves - it sounds like you last posted while in a window.  But if you start having symptoms again, don't be discouraged, it's "only withdrawal," it is not a relapse, it is only a wave.

Waves and Windows

 

Welcome to SA - another Aussie!  Oy!  (only one, because I can't be too enthusiastic about Aussies following the USA's prescribing habits!)

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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  • Moderator

PS - "Change" is what the drug has done to your brain.  Change is not damage.  It's change.  And sometimes it takes awhile to adjust, to change again.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Hey Neonic,

You've expressed a fear of brain damage.  Many of us have that fear, especially those who have taken antipsychotics (I was on Seroquel for 3 years).

 

Cold turkey is not the best way to quit, you are more likely to have extreme symptoms that your doctor will label "relapse."

 

I know you don't want to go back on the olanzapine, but you are better off reinstating a tiny amount of it, perhaps 5 mg, and then tapering from there.  If you have any symptoms (and they can be overwhelming at times) this is the course to consider taking.  

 

Your brain got addicted, acclimated, used to the drug, and to rip it away is to invite collapse of your "structure" - your firing mechanisms, your sensitivity, your speed and access to different brain functions, like emotions, motor skills, perception, cognitive capacity, etc.

 

You are young, the chances of permanent damage, especially after such a short course, are slim.  However, if you look at "relapse studies," the ones most likely to "relapse" (I'm using doctor's terms here, I believe they are really "side effects") are those who went cold turkey.  Reinstatement is a way to stave off those potential dangers, and you are still close enough to your last dose to be able to do so safely.  It's not a guarantee that you will have no problems, it's more like hedging your bets.

 

The magnesium will help, as will the fish oil.  Additionally, since you are a young Australian male, I will caution you against alcohol and cannabis.  These will only destabilize you further, and make your recovery longer.  If you want to heal quickly, stay away from recreational substances.  The brain is not a playground.  Some people would even include caffeine - I challenge you to listen to your body and figure out what things make you feel better (like the magnesium and fish oil) or what makes you feel worse.

 

As for the length of recovery, most people come in here and think that a matter of days should do it.  This is an error.  Think more long term, as in months.  When you are 4-6 months out, you will have a clearer vision about what life will be like with the drug gone.  Just having it out of your blood stream is not enough - it has made changes in your brain that need to heal.

 

And it will heal, but it takes time.  Sometimes, people can bounce back in a month or less - but more often, the healing continues for months, with gradual improvement.  Be patient, be kind to yourself.  Look at gentle exercise like walking, cycling, swimming, or even yoga or gentle martial arts.

 

Recovery comes in windows and waves - it sounds like you last posted while in a window.  But if you start having symptoms again, don't be discouraged, it's "only withdrawal," it is not a relapse, it is only a wave.

Waves and Windows

 

Welcome to SA - another Aussie!  Oy!  (only one, because I can't be too enthusiastic about Aussies following the USA's prescribing habits!)

 

 

PS - "Change" is what the drug has done to your brain.  Change is not damage.  It's change.  And sometimes it takes awhile to adjust, to change again.

Thank you for the great reply JC! I'm very unsure about your suggestion to go back on it and taper off. I am afraid to put that drug back in me, since I have felt significant improvement the last few weeks, especially the last few days, so maybe I don't need to? But maybe I do. What do you mean by the "relapse"/"side effects"? I will definitely steer clear of alcohol and recreational drugs, as I always have. Thank you, fellow Aussie! Haha, right!

 

That's a very encouraging statement (indeed your whole reply is encouraging), I like to see it that way. 

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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  • Moderator

Glad to hear it Neonic!

 

There is a window of opportunity for reinstatement.   Please read:  About reinstating and stabilizing to stop withdrawal symptoms

 
If you think you are going fine, you don't probably don't need to reinstate.  You may be one of the lucky ones, who can just walk away from the drug.  There is that chance.
 
There is also a chance (some studies say 40-60%) that a few months out you will suffer from symptoms.  The doctors will call it "relapse," and you may be desperate for their help by that time.  IF you are one of the 40-60% who suffer these symptoms - which are very likely to be MORE intense than your original symptoms, because your brain is now sensitized to those neurotransmitters - then your recovery could take much, much longer. 
 
You will need social support - friends, family, possibly therapists, social groups (yoga and martial arts are my favorites - I can't talk about withdrawal in class - but my symptoms are greatly improved by being in a social setting, and doing the movement), education (learning about the drug, and its effects, learning about your original event which drove you to the drug to begin with - and learning how to get better without the drugs), and more.
 
I have known many people on these drugs for 20 years or more.  One runs ultra marathons, another is working on a Masters in Writing.  Others are, yes, shadows, echoes of their former selves.  Only 5-10% of those on long term course of the drugs can be considered "recovered" (ref: Whitaker, "Anatomy of an Epidemic").  But these people are still on the drugs.
 
You were only on a couple of months.  You feel you are doing fine.  I would suggest that you look around you and set up some support systems for your mental & emotional wellness, and make every effort to be one of the ones to "walk away."  
 
If, however, in the first 30-60 days after CT you find yourself in a wave of symptoms, my suggestion changes to reinstating a tiny amount.  I suggested 5 mg initially, only because it's easy to dry cut a 20 mg tablet into 1/4 - but if you can get back to the doctor (I know, I know), you can get it in 5 mg. or even 2.5 mg sizes.  The smaller the amount of reinstatement that works, the better.  You may find that 2.5 mg is enough to stave off the worst of withdrawal, or maybe it will take 5 mg before you get relief.  The article above says give a reinstatement at least 4 days before adjustment, a week is better.
 
As for the long term, reinstatement from a cold turkey is better - it gives you some measure of control over your symptoms, and opportunity to stabilize, then you can taper gently the rest of the way.  To "ride out" the difficult symptoms (if you have them - it sounds like there you might just walk away lucky) may mean a longer, more difficult road than the relief provided from a tiny reinstatement.
 
Are you the only 19 year old Aussie male who doesn't drink beer?  OMG, what a rare bird you are!    :P

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Hey JC!

 

Thank you for the very informative message. It's helped me weigh the options! I think I will choose to not reinstate, because the progress seems very good right now. 

 

Yes I am! :D

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Good to hear. Please let us know how you're doing.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I will! 

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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Things have been painful. My capacity for senses are coming back in full swing, I can feel and see and hear and have emotions again, but my soul is still gone, so I get to experience the pain of not having a soul whereas in the last few months I've been numb and had a equilibrium going I guess. So, on the one hand, I'm progressing but I'm also not, I don't know. This is hell. This is torture. I can barely type anymore.

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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  • Mentor

Hello Neonic9, from a fellow Aussie, in Western Australia!              So glad you are off the zyprexa,  I know we are all different.............    Doc gave me zyprexa in the "Viva Zyprexa"" advertising days.....this is a bad drug, for most people, why did the doc put you on it??????     It....... sent me psycho in about 5 days..............   yes, then it was marketed off label for everything, probably even having the damn flu!.........  I am so glad, you have seen the light............ drugs dont help, especailly the evil zyprexa.......but it is a hard slog going CT.      Is zyprexa the first psych drug you have ever been on?

 

Zyprexa nearly killed me, I dont even remember how long I was on it, not long,             damn horrific!!!!!!!     .............  you sound logical, you sound OK............. gosh, hugs, wish you well, keep us posted!

 

Are you working?  Student? , at home?   Do you have support at home?     Sorry so many questions, makes it so much easier, if you can just vegetate when you need to, do whatever you can do, just too keep plodding one foot in front of the other............. yep even if that means playing silly computer games, to distract, or anything.  If you have no support, things are harder, as during this period, your moods may  be all over the place,.............. 

 

So glad you found this site!!!!!!!!!

 

Off since May 25th?  Only 3 months.............. if you were only on them 39 days,  hang in there, keep us all posted on how you are...............

 

Myself, I just did a reduction of another drug, and again it has hit me, the no energy, no life, today I could not even focus my brain, so sorry if I am a bit muddled, ........... but I know it will pass. 

1992 Dothiepin 375mg 8 weeks, exhaustion/depression.  Serotonin syndrome, oh yes!  seizures . Fell pregnant, 3rd baby, Nitrous Oxide, 3 weeks mental hospital pp psychosis. zoloft tegretol.

Feb 1996 ct tegretol, tapered Zoloft 8 weeks. as (unexpectedly)  pregnant. Steven died after 3 days.(Zolft HLHS baby).  98 had run in with Paxil, 2 tablets, 3 weeks taper, survived.
2005..menopause? exhausted again. Zyprexa, mad in three days, fallout....  Seroquel, Effexor, tegretol,   and 8 years of self destruction. Failed taper.
Damn 1/4 valium... nuts again! .fallout, zoloft 100mg  seroquol 400mg mirtazapine 45 mg  tegretol 400mg.  Mid 14 3 month taper. Nov 14 CRASH.
Mid 15 ....   75mg  seroquel,  3 x 1800mg SJW  2 week window end of December followed by 6 week wave
5/2 68mg seroquel, 2.5 x 1800mg SJW::::20/2 61mg seroquel, 2.5 x  SJW::: 26/2 54mg seroquel, 2 x SJW::::21/3 43mg seroquel, 1 x 2700SJW :::: 23/4 36mg seroquel 1 x 1800 SJW
15/5 33mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::   28/5 30mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::;  18/6 25mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::::, 11/7 21mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::, 26/7 18mg seroquel 1/2 SJW:::, 9/8 12mg seroquel :::, 16/8 6mg seroquel ;;;;, 12/9 0 jump.

23/9  3mg.....,  27/9 0mg.  Reinstated, 6mg, then 12mg.............  LIGHTBULB MOMENT,  I have  MTHFR 2x mutations.  CFS and issues with MOULD in my home. So I left home, and working 150km away during week, loving it.

Oh was hard, panic attacks first week, gone now, along with the mould issues.

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  • Mentor

If you are into researching on line, lots of people suing Zyprexa in Usa at the moment.........  anyway, stay well!  Ang

1992 Dothiepin 375mg 8 weeks, exhaustion/depression.  Serotonin syndrome, oh yes!  seizures . Fell pregnant, 3rd baby, Nitrous Oxide, 3 weeks mental hospital pp psychosis. zoloft tegretol.

Feb 1996 ct tegretol, tapered Zoloft 8 weeks. as (unexpectedly)  pregnant. Steven died after 3 days.(Zolft HLHS baby).  98 had run in with Paxil, 2 tablets, 3 weeks taper, survived.
2005..menopause? exhausted again. Zyprexa, mad in three days, fallout....  Seroquel, Effexor, tegretol,   and 8 years of self destruction. Failed taper.
Damn 1/4 valium... nuts again! .fallout, zoloft 100mg  seroquol 400mg mirtazapine 45 mg  tegretol 400mg.  Mid 14 3 month taper. Nov 14 CRASH.
Mid 15 ....   75mg  seroquel,  3 x 1800mg SJW  2 week window end of December followed by 6 week wave
5/2 68mg seroquel, 2.5 x 1800mg SJW::::20/2 61mg seroquel, 2.5 x  SJW::: 26/2 54mg seroquel, 2 x SJW::::21/3 43mg seroquel, 1 x 2700SJW :::: 23/4 36mg seroquel 1 x 1800 SJW
15/5 33mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::   28/5 30mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::;  18/6 25mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::::, 11/7 21mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::, 26/7 18mg seroquel 1/2 SJW:::, 9/8 12mg seroquel :::, 16/8 6mg seroquel ;;;;, 12/9 0 jump.

23/9  3mg.....,  27/9 0mg.  Reinstated, 6mg, then 12mg.............  LIGHTBULB MOMENT,  I have  MTHFR 2x mutations.  CFS and issues with MOULD in my home. So I left home, and working 150km away during week, loving it.

Oh was hard, panic attacks first week, gone now, along with the mould issues.

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Well I don't want to say why they put me on it. At home with parents. So sorry to hear that. Okay, I will keep you all posted.

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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Ever since I took that drug my life was stopped. It has been non-experience. I can only truly remember the time before the drugs, and the difference is as clear as day, and it's painful. It's so painful I'm not sure if I'm gonna go on. I don't think I will ever regain my former life. I'm so stupid now. I feel like they've murdered a part of my consciousness. My soul is gone. When it comes down to it, I died over four months ago. 

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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I don't see how it is possible that my brain heal back to normal. Can it really?

 

Am I supposed to just wait a year or something? Or a few years? 

 

I don't want to wait for something that won't happen.

 

When I have memories and flashbacks of what I used to be like it's the worst.

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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  • Administrator

Yes, it will heal. It will take as long as it takes.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Yes, it will heal. It will take as long as it takes.

So, the frontal lobe can be accessed again one day? Or has it atrophied? 

 

I hope I don't come off as annoying to anyone but I'm complaining for the sake of my life.

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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I was on Zyprexa unnecessarily for a few months 7 years ago. It destroyed my life. My mind and body has never recovered. I improve a little with each year but I am nowhere near who I was beforehand. I am unable to function as an independent individual anymore with disabling fatigue and dementia-like symptoms. I hope this never happens to anyone again.

 

http://www.crazymeds.us/CrazyTalk/index.php/topic/24196-zyprexa-recovery-some-effects-permanent/?p=179458

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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So, because of these drugs, has a part of my brain been destroyed, atrophied? How can this heal?

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I don't see how it is possible that my brain heal back to normal. Can it really?

 

Am I supposed to just wait a year or something? Or a few years? 

 

Yes, it will heal. It will take as long as it takes.

 

 

PS - "Change" is what the drug has done to your brain.  Change is not damage.  It's change.  And sometimes it takes awhile to adjust, to change again.

 

 

So, because of these drugs, has a part of my brain been destroyed, atrophied? How can this heal?

 

No, your brain has not been destroyed, it has changed the way it functions, it will change back over time. You were only on Zyprexa for a little over a month. You will recover, your brain will return to the way it was before. It may take a little time.

 

If you go searching the internet for horror stories and negative experiences, that's what you will find. If you look for stories of recovery, that's also what you will find. Most people recover completely, especially after short term use, like what you have.

 

Please read back through your thread before asking the same questions again.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Hey Neonic, 

 

I also feel I have been changed/damaged by medication and dealing with the loss of my old self.

In my case what bothers me most is the loss of libido,,, libido was one of the most important things to me before,, and now I feel empty without that..

 

But we will recover, think about it this way; if the "therapeutic" effects of the drugs fade away with time, the unwanted side effects must do the same.

Maybe some people get side effects for the rest of their lives, but that must be an exception (I hope). 

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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I don't see how it is possible that my brain heal back to normal. Can it really?

 

Am I supposed to just wait a year or something? Or a few years? 

 

Yes, it will heal. It will take as long as it takes.

 

 

PS - "Change" is what the drug has done to your brain.  Change is not damage.  It's change.  And sometimes it takes awhile to adjust, to change again.

 

 

So, because of these drugs, has a part of my brain been destroyed, atrophied? How can this heal?

 

No, your brain has not been destroyed, it has changed the way it functions, it will change back over time. You were only on Zyprexa for a little over a month. You will recover, your brain will return to the way it was before. It may take a little time.

 

If you go searching the internet for horror stories and negative experiences, that's what you will find. If you look for stories of recovery, that's also what you will find. Most people recover completely, especially after short term use, like what you have.

 

Please read back through your thread before asking the same questions again.

 

I'm sorry for asking the same questions again, I'm just going through a lot. 

 

 

Hey Neonic, 

 

I also feel I have been changed/damaged by medication and dealing with the loss of my old self.

In my case what bothers me most is the loss of libido,,, libido was one of the most important things to me before,, and now I feel empty without that..

 

But we will recover, think about it this way; if the "therapeutic" effects of the drugs fade away with time, the unwanted side effects must do the same.

Maybe some people get side effects for the rest of their lives, but that must be an exception (I hope). 

I'm so sorry to hear about that. 

 

We will, and also tonight as I was watching TV my brain started to "keep up" and I've made a massive improvement in a second. So another victory. 

 

I'm still silent in my head, but I feel more confident now that I will, like everyone says, fully recover.

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've improved a lot, sights, sounds, feeling, physically I'm back! But on the other hand, I'm worse than ever, I feel very immature, no intelligence, or voice in my head, no soul, no spiritual ability. If I just get that back I will be free, I think. 

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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  • 5 weeks later...

Is it true that the frontal lobes/frontal cortex is damaged forever and never able to be recovered? This I worry about the most.

 

Also, I have improved a lot but still not my old self.

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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Is it true that the frontal lobes/frontal cortex is damaged forever and never able to be recovered? This I worry about the most.

 

Also, I have improved a lot but still not my old self.

Bump.

From April 16th 2015 to May 25th 2015, Zyprexa for 39 days. 20mg for the last half of the days. I'm off them cold turkey since May 25th 2015.

Clozapine 50mg a night.

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Hi Neonic,

 

When I started writing in this forum years ago (~5) I was desperate. I have read so much horror stories about Zyprexa and I was feeling so bad, like I was dying that I did not find relief in anything. I was sick, mentally ill, physically ill and feeling devastated.

 

Some years later, here I am, I am feeling better. Still some problems persist and I am dealing with them. But I am here, I am reading less about zyprexa horror stories and more about how to recover. I am distracting my thoughts from all that cannot help me and using all that could help me to get better. I am trusting more my doctors and following their instructions, therapy, medications and recommendations. 

 

Time is very important, and maintain the desire to find the cure for our illness too. At this point I do not know if my brain is damage or no, if my brain will be the same or no. But I know that I am better than 6 years ago, and for me that It is what count now. 

 

I wish you start feeling well soon. 

Zyprexa 15 mg  for 5 months  in 2010. I quit cold turkey /Zyprexa 5 mg from sept 2011 to sept 2012. I quit cold turkey

Lamictal and Geodon for around 6 months (from around sept 2012 to feb 2013)

Trazodone/ Klonopin 0.5 mg / 1 mg /Quetiapine  and gabapentin 600 mg/ Risperidone and gabapentin 600 mg

Gabapentin 1200 mg  around feb 2014 to  june 2014/ Gabapentin 900 mg july 2014 to December 2014

Invega 6 mg dec 2014 (for 8 days) / Gabapentin 600 mg

Invega 6 mg April 2015 / Gabapentin 900 mg

Invega 3 mg May 2015 / Gabapentin 600 mg

Since May 25th Gabapentin 600 mg

July 24 Gabapentin 400 mg August 18 Gabapentin 300 mg

Currently taking Invega 6 mg and Venlafaxine 150 mg. 2018

2019. I took invega 3 mg for two months. I stop taking medication two days ago (11/13) I am doing ok.

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.

 
 
 
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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Neonic9: clozapine / Clozaril victim

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