AliG Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Hi Pug, I like that quote too, as it reiterates some of the most important aspects to remember when we're going through the "hell" of withdrawal, and that is to never give up or lose hope that "healing" is happening, and there's not much to do except wait it out and keep breathing. Speaking for myself, and I'm sure you will agree, the understanding that we get here from each other, is what has enabled me to keep going, knowing I am not alone & that the symptoms are real. If not for this community, I have no doubt I would have "succumbed" by now (back to the drugs) . I would have been convinced by some Doctor, and/or other outside pressure, that my original condition had come back due to "being off my medication"., and being "chemically imbalanced "!! LOL . I hope your "quasi - window" continues for while, and you keep making strides forward. Love & hugs, Ali . Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
pug Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Hi Pug, I like that quote too, as it reiterates some of the most important aspects to remember when we're going through the "hell" of withdrawal, and that is to never give up or lose hope that "healing" is happening, and there's not much to do except wait it out and keep breathing. Speaking for myself, and I'm sure you will agree, the understanding that we get here from each other, is what has enabled me to keep going, knowing I am not alone & that the symptoms are real. If not for this community, I have no doubt I would have "succumbed" by now (back to the drugs) . I would have been convinced by some Doctor, and/or other outside pressure, that my original condition had come back due to "being off my medication"., and being "chemically imbalanced "!! LOL . I hope your "quasi - window" continues for while, and you keep making strides forward. Love & hugs, Ali . Ali, Thank you for the encouragement, and I agree with all that you said. My doc would no doubt have me pumped up with drugs if I had not found this site, and I would have been too ignorant to say no. One good fortune I can count is finding SA before falling back into that nasty, vicious cycle. Thank you SA! 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted August 12, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 12, 2015 Thanks Pug. I guess I haven't figured out the "just follow" buttons. So posting for later more reading of your stuff and wisdom. LOL though.....had to check to see if I posted on the right intro. Goodnight. :-) Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
pug Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Manymoretodays, Thank you for stopping by. Any wisdom I have is thanks to all the great folks that have been so kind to help me, and it is yours for the taking! 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
pug Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 New inspiration courtesy of clearday: What those have recovered tell us has turned out to be true for me. That, regardless of a return of bad waves - even "worsening" symptoms - healing is happening, and I have always kept that in mind during difficult waves. I have always reminded myself that "Countless times during recovery, you will be convinced that no improvement is happening, yet healing is happening." That mantra has absolutely allowed me to get through this without despairing upon the return of symptoms. For me, this recovery from SSRI usage is not a slow, gradual improvement of symptoms; it is windows and waves. My experience so far has shown that a return of bad symptoms does not mean we are not getting better, it just confirms what we have been told by those who have recovered - that healing happens with windows and waves. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8148-%E2%98%BC-clearday-off-prozac-12-yrs-off-lexapro-1-yr/page-5 1 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
pug Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Well my 5 day quasi-window closed last night with the return of heavy anxiety and insomnia. Today is off to a challenging start. I am doing my best to recall the feeling I had in the window; and to keep in mind that things can change again. Time to read success stories when I can today. 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
pug Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Getting seriously kicked around today; I found a recovery/success story quote out on the web that I need to reread many times today: "Please do whatever it takes to get through another day. One day you will suddenly realize that you no longer feel the way you do now. You will feel happy, and after a few starts and stops, those happy days will get longer and better and closer together until you won't remember how bad it was. I promise. It happened to me and it's happened to so many others. You are so close - just keep going. You will heal." 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
direstraits Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 thanks for this-need all the hope I can get. went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
pug Posted August 13, 2015 Author Share Posted August 13, 2015 Direstraits, you are correct, we all need hope. I am doing a bit better today, so getting through another day as the message said is the key. I will continue to use these messages of hope as mantras each day. 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
AliG Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Hi Pug, Sorry your window closed. The insomnia is "rough" isn't it ? How much sleep are you managing to get? I think that quote is helpful & true. We have to believe "healing is happening". I hope your sleeping improves. I find it's "windows & waves" with that symptom , as well. Take good care of yourself, Hugs, Ali. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
pug Posted August 14, 2015 Author Share Posted August 14, 2015 Ali, Thanks for checking in. I get a couple hours on a bad night which makes work challenging the next day. I have luckily been getting more sleep the last few weeks overall and that is really helping, and I hope it continues. I guess if things are changing for us, good and bad that means healing is taking place, and that is the goal for us all; healing and recovery! 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
pug Posted August 14, 2015 Author Share Posted August 14, 2015 Much needed inspiration from another success story out on the web that I found: "trust me it will be over at some point. You just have to keep hanging on and it will come. I now know that all will recover. I was on such high doses for so many years that duing my recovery I had constant fear that I would be that one person that couldn't heal and recover. I am so glad I was wrong I have nearly recovered and healed and feel my joy has returned and life is worth living again...it will happen for you also." 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
pug Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 Hi Everyone, I had a 1 day window yesterday; symptoms dropped by about 80% and I felt almost like myself again. It did not last as I am back in the thick of things today, but it did give me a glimpse of what is waiting for me (and you) if we can hang on through this process. I am hopeful that this is a good sign for me and more relief and healing is on the way; it would certainly be appreciated. Hoping for continued healing for all of us. 1 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted August 17, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 17, 2015 I had a 1 day window yesterday; symptoms dropped by about 80% and I felt almost like myself again. It did not last as I am back in the thick of things today, but it did give me a glimpse of what is waiting for me (and you) if we can hang on through this process. Great sign, Pug! Soon the windows will be open wide for you! I want to thank you very much for posting on my thread and, especially, for posting there before sharing your own positive news. That means a lot to me. Continued healing, Pug. Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
pug Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 Andy, Thank you for the encouragement. It has been a rough day and the good words are appreciated! Here is a quote I found that is helping me today: The most helpful thing for me was confirmation of the baffling non-linear nature of this healing. If I hadn’t been following the stories of others, I’m not sure I could have held fast to the belief that THIS IS JUST WITHDRAWAL AND TIME WILL HEAL ME. 1 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
pug Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 530 days since stopping setraline 270 days since stopping fluoxetine Can't believe I have made it this far and hoping for continued healing and improvement. 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted August 20, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 20, 2015 Party hat is on! Congratulations. Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Knaster Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 What a roller coaster ride. Hope you hang in there and get through the waves without to much pain. * 2000: Diagnosed with depression after separation. Venlafaxine 150 mg. * 2001 - 2010: Continued taking Venlafaxine 150 mg out of habit. * 2010 - 2013: Several failed attempts to discontinue, caused anxiety, depression, no sleep, mood swings. * April 2014: New attempt to do a slow and proper taper from 150 mg. * March 2015: Down to 30 mg Venlafaxine. Anxiety is present but mostly manageable. Getting myself addicted to benzos again. * May 2015: Bridging to liquid Fluoxetine during 1 month. Fatigue introduced to the mix. * June 2015: On 12 mg Fluoxetine (3.0 ml liquid, equals 40 mg Venlafaxine) and about 1 mg Diazepam daily. * July 2015: 12 mg Fluoxetine (3.0 ml liquid). Tapering the Diazepam. Fatigue, anxiety mood swings, memory loss. Sleep is good. * August 2015: Off the benzo. Stable on the Fluoxetine. * Current withdrawal status (August 2015): Almost no issues. Minor mood swings and memory loss and bad stomach. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9387-knaster-fight-fight-fight/ Link to comment
clearday Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Hi Pug, Thanks for dropping by my thread and asking how I am doing. I am doing pretty good. It has been a strange week. For the last few months, I was either clearly in a wave for a week or more, or clearly in a window for a week or so. Now, I think I am in a wave, but the symptoms subside at times during the day or at night. So I am hoping that I am in a wave, and that it is just not as relentless as it used to be. Very glad to hear you have been having some windows. Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned..... Prozac: 20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs Zoloft: 2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg Effexor: 2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. Lexapro: 10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to: Lexapro: 5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016 Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now. 24 months SSRI-free Link to comment
AliG Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Well done, Pug ! Fireworks & cake needed . In honor of the occasion, I have a quote : "Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness & growth occurs while you're climbing it ". Keep climbing, Pug. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
laineyk Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 my journey has just began..I am proud that I hit the 3 month mark of being off the sertraline. My symptoms have not improved really and I still have a benzo to try and get off sometime people tell me not to taper the benzo until I have been off the ssri for at least 6 months would that be accurate assumption that is enough time between the 2? 2006-2012 50mgs zoloftskipped doses every other day for a year and started having anxiety again in March 2012back on at 50mgs Dec 2013started taper from benzos April 2014 per Heather Ashton method (c/o from kpin to diazepam)March 2015 started 1.25mg lorazepamTapered off Zoloft in May off in 4 weeks...5 weeks later crashing AGAIN. Dr wanted to start Gabapentin tried it 7 daysSymptoms :burning eyes, anxiety, pounding heart, dizzy, strange head feeling, internal shaking, Overall UNWELLTaking lorazepam 1.25mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Skyler Posted August 21, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 21, 2015 people tell me not to taper the benzo until I have been off the ssri for at least 6 months would that be accurate assumption that is enough time between the 2? NO You will be ready when the post withdrawal syndrome you have from the precipitous Zoloft taper stops. It could take a couple of years... you dropped off really fast and damaged your CNS. It will recover, but if you taper too aggressively again, it may be a VERY long road indeed. Please be good to yourself. See my response in the benzo forum. This is unless you have some sort of untoward symptoms from lorazepam. Pug, sorry to hijack your thread. As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule. Requip - 3/16 ZERO Total time on 25 years. Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10) Total time on 25 years. Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section. "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin Link to comment
SelmaLady Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Thank you so much pug for posting on my thread. I'm surely routing for you to pass thru this time of recovery with as little "bumps' as possible. You're on your way... 1971-81 Valium 5mg c/t PAWS 1992- through now Zoloft 25mg 2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off 2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS 2013 O/D Val 230mg 2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zoloft 25mg 3/15/16 Doxepin 49mg Micro Tapering Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper 3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 - Decreasing incrementally. DISCONTINUED 10/9/16 Doxepin 48.9 Zoloft 24.3 Clonidine 01.10 Continuing micro taper on Doxepin. 11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg Zoloft 24.3mg Clonidine 1.30mg 5/4/17 Doxepin 45mg Zoloft 24mg Clonidine 1.20mg Micro taper of Doxepin , Clonidine 01/13/19 Doxepin 45mg Zoloft 21mg Will start Micro taper of Doxepin 2/19 12/21/21 Doxepin 20 mg ? Reducing using water micro taper--Pulling 24ml from 75ml 12/2121 Zoloft .060 grams by weight--HOLDING (info from post added by CC: On 12/21/21 my dosage was .060grams by weight or 20mg. ) 26 Apr 2022 - Zoloft at -0- Link to comment
pug Posted August 24, 2015 Author Share Posted August 24, 2015 Manymoretodays, Knaster, clearday, AliG, laineyK, Skyler, SelmaLady, Thank you all for stopping by my thread and offering me support; it means a great deal and I really appreciate it! And if anyone wants to hijack my thread, by all means please do so! I enjoy the company! 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
pug Posted August 24, 2015 Author Share Posted August 24, 2015 Today is my 9 month anniversary of being off of all antidepressants. I have been in a pretty nasty wave that seems to be worse at 9 months off of AD than at any time during the whole 9 months, but I have experienced windows of a few hours, part of a day, and even almost a full day during this wave. So, I have to believe that this is a good sign; and even though I am suffering during my recovery I am recovering. I collect recovery and success quotes from across the web when I can find them. Some are SSRI, some Benzos, some long term marijuana users, or other types of drugs, it doesn't seem to matter what the substance as there is so much that is shared in the recovery process; and as it is an injury to the brain and central nervous system. The common symptoms and recovery stories give me hope that I too will recover although I can't believe it when I am suffering in a wave, but can see the truth of it when I have a window. If I was not going to recover, why would I have windows, changing symptoms, a slight improvement during some days, and all the other variability of this process. Change must equal progress, even change that seems like a worsening of symptoms, like it does now for me. Another quote I found: The fact that you have windows shows you're brain's going to heal. It's just going to do it in it's own sweet time, that's all. What worked for me was just trying to play it like a game, doing fun or useful things when I felt well enough, not beating myself up when I had to rest. 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 Hi Pug! Success stories are so uplifting and reassuring. I hope this link works for you. It's my first time cutting and pasting a link. It's a collection of over a hundred success stories. https://benzowithdrawalhelp.com/wp-content/uploads/Benzo-success-stories-rev-2.pdf Love, Pug January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
pug Posted August 24, 2015 Author Share Posted August 24, 2015 Pug, Thank you with all my heart for the success stories! They are helping me through a very hard time right now so your timing is perfect. Thanks again!! 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
pug Posted August 24, 2015 Author Share Posted August 24, 2015 This quote I will read many times today: This is a doable journey by anyone really. There is nothing special about me. It just takes time. You have to hold on, and when you think you can’t hold on any longer, you have to hold on. You may not “feel” hope through much of the journey, but you have hope. It is right there in the deep recesses of your very being. It is inside every one of us and constantly whispers to us. Don’t let the shouting of your ailing brain convince you that it’s not there. It is there. It is speaking…constantly speaking truth and saying to hold on one more minute, one more hour, one more day…until you are one more healed man or woman. ..who then becomes a voice of hope for someone else to hear over the noise of their ailing brain. Hold on. Just hold on. And you will heal. It’s a promise. 1 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 Where did you get this? 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
pug Posted August 24, 2015 Author Share Posted August 24, 2015 Story number 33, page 74 of the recovery stories that Pugknows shared in the link above. 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
Flowers Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 Hi Pug Thanks so much for visiting my thread and it's good to meet you! I am sorry to see that you are struggling at the moment and hope that this passes soon. I love reading your quotes and they are so valuable to reassure us that we will all heal oneday. I am getting over my recent blip thank goodness! When you feel well for a while and something happens to rock the boat it is scary. I have learnt from this last episode that I must expect more of these blips and not to panic when I get them! Take care and I really hope to read soon that you are feeling better. xxxxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
AliG Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Hi Pug, I love your quotes ! You're like a little "bowerbird" going around & collecting "positivity" to bring back to your nest . I think you are doing so well, and have such a good attitude. Stay strong , Love Ali. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
pug Posted August 25, 2015 Author Share Posted August 25, 2015 Hi Ali, Thank you for being so nice! If I could I would change my user name to bowerbird! I really appreciate the continued support, it means a great deal! 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
laineyk Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Hi Pug just wanted to ask if you wouldn't mind reading my blog and give me your opinion 2006-2012 50mgs zoloftskipped doses every other day for a year and started having anxiety again in March 2012back on at 50mgs Dec 2013started taper from benzos April 2014 per Heather Ashton method (c/o from kpin to diazepam)March 2015 started 1.25mg lorazepamTapered off Zoloft in May off in 4 weeks...5 weeks later crashing AGAIN. Dr wanted to start Gabapentin tried it 7 daysSymptoms :burning eyes, anxiety, pounding heart, dizzy, strange head feeling, internal shaking, Overall UNWELLTaking lorazepam 1.25mg daily Link to comment
pug Posted August 27, 2015 Author Share Posted August 27, 2015 Hi Everyone, The last 3 days have been different for me; I have been having waves and windows during the day. My symptoms come on but then recede for a bit, only to return and then recede again. I don't remember having this in the past, and it was a bit concerning at first. This journey of recovery is so unpredictable and variable; a person just never knows what is coming next. Has anyone else experienced this? I am holding on to hope that this is a good sign and an indication of healing and progress. 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
direstraits Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 hi pug, yes,I've seen my mood go up and down during the course of the day..it's a strange journey,that's for sure . hang in there,xo went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
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