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SquirrellyGirl: Effexor withdrawal etc


SquirrellyGirl

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Here's another bit of info. It is so terrible that we innocent, unsuspecting people have been put on these drugs so nonchalantly and left to suffer the consequences. 

 

SEROTONIN AND MUSCLES: Serotonin was originally given its name due to its ability to constrict blood vessels. In the 50’s injections of serotonin were given to women to induce labor. Serotonin constricts muscles leading to muscle damage. When you attempt to use a constricted muscle it rips and tears

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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Oops. Sorry one last thing, SG. I used to think getting up to pee at night was because I had to, but I learned on SA from something Alto wrote about vasopressin. I can't remember the explanation but I looked up what vasopressin is. I could only remember the word. This is released at night I think which is why most people don't normally have to get up to go. I find this fascinating.

 

antidiuretic hormone

vasopressin; a polypeptide hormine from the posterior lobe of the pituitary that suppresses the production of urine;
 
Here is the piece from Altostrata: 
 
"I developed that frequent nighttime peeing when my sleep totally deteriorated. Theory is that an unnaturally high level of cortisol, the daytime hormone, at night interferes with your body's production of vasopressin. Vasopressin is a nighttime hormone that tells the body to concentrate urine so you can sleep. There is a synthetic vasopressin nasal spray that is given to children with bedwetting problems. I discussed using this with my doctor and he said he didn't want to try it because he thought the frequency of peeing was a marker for the elevated cortisol, and he wanted to watch it. In fact, my frequency of peeing at night has decreased as my sleep has gotten better. On bad nights, when I will also feel anxiety, it will be every hour. On good nights, every few hours. On the best nights, maybe once or twice a night. Stan, here's some information about your sleep pattern: Cortisol, being a daytime hormone, starts rising about 4:30 a.m. It peaks around dawn -- which is when some of us feel that morning burst of anxiety or panic -- then declines a bit to the daytime level. (Blocking out light to the bedroom helps blunt the effect of the morning cortisol jump.) When it declines, that may be when you feel a bit sleepy again. I know I do." 

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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SquirrellyGirl

Here's another bit of info. It is so terrible that we innocent, unsuspecting people have been put on these drugs so nonchalantly and left to suffer the consequences. 

 

SEROTONIN AND MUSCLES: Serotonin was originally given its name due to its ability to constrict blood vessels. In the 50’s injections of serotonin were given to women to induce labor. Serotonin constricts muscles leading to muscle damage. When you attempt to use a constricted muscle it rips and tears

That ripping and tearing sensation is exactly what I'd been having at my hip joints when doing ordinary walking up hill  And I got so messed up a year ago when i started doing yoga to tone my butt and thighs that I couldn't sleep due to the pain in my ass and had to go to the doctor for a wallop of an injection, which only helped for two day!  It is finally resolving with a homeopathic remedy, ironically, that I start last month, and as I said the pain was chronic for about a year!

 

Thanks for the information, leahy - fascinating!  And yes, frustrating that yet another set of symptoms can be chalked up to the danged drugs :-(

 

BTW, I got my SAD light yesterday and did 30 minutes this morning. I still feel like death warmed over and can't expect to get too perky with this bug, but I do feel a little more alert.  I've already gone out and done more than I should have, chores, so back to the couch.  Listening to my Pandora Tears For Fears channel!  

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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I agree doesn't matter which antidepressants you are on they can give you the same kind of withdrawals or side effects.

I also have the peeing frequently problem.

Saturday I went to the emergency because my mom was very concerned of the pain the doctor said it was costochrondritis. Ran cardiac test which came back normal. He asked me if I had been stressed lately. well my anxiety from the withdrawals is much higher than it had been.

I'm 21 yrs and feel 80with knee and joint pain which never had before wds.

Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds

Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg.

Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg

May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg

Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45

Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg

Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg

Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89

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SquirrellyGirl

Oh dear, Lexy, you are way too young to be in that condition!

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Hi squirrellygirl

Are you feeling better today? Your sickness didn't sound really good. I hope that it has passed and you feel better.

Hardy

Currently suffer extreme CFS, Lyme, adrenal fatigue, bad gut issues, reaction bad to mold basically etc home a lot. Can hardly walk all I get crash easily. 
I’m currently on mirtizapine 1.7mg and Reboxetine 0.4mg. I did a cut on reboxetine on the 19/4/20 around 11%. 
Also taking Ativan since January 2mg. 
 
 
 

 

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SquirrellyGirl

I'm gradually getting better, but am feeling devastated over Bluebalu who committed suicide.  I had messaged her privately but she was unable to be assuaged in any way.  I am giving you this link because I think this person summed it up perfectly:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3533-acceptance/?hl=%2Beckhart+%2Btolle#entry40178

 

While we are in withdrawal, we suffer from our situation so greatly, but the secondary fear and depression are what really make it impossible to endure until the healing takes place, and those actually prolong the withdrawal.  I wish I could figure out how to make people integrate this information and reach Acceptance!  How?  I feel like you are kind of stuck with the depression, and I wonder, how can I help you?

 

I know the healing is around the corner, how long I don't know, but what a shame to give up when it might be right there...

 

Hugs to you, Nathan!

SG - Betsy

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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SquirrellyGirl

Doing better, getting over a bad cold, but feeling good otherwise.  A couple of days ago I had "numb-face" in the late afternoon and it took me until the next morning to realize that maybe it was all those gummy Lifesaver candies I ate while driving around in my car that day. Sugar and artificial colorings!  I won't be doing that again!  

 

Meanwhile, I am posting the following here since I don't know where else to put it.

 

Someone on Patient.info posted the following:

 

"Hi. I'm on 75mg venlafaxine for GAD and panic disorder. I've been on this before with no real issues. I came off it but was back on them 6 months later after a bad relapse.

This time is a totally different experience. Still the same dose. I keep coming in and out of relapse ever since I went back on them. I'll have 2 or 3 really good weeks then I'll feel totally rubbish for a week. At present this is a particularly bad one. It's like I can feel the chemical changes in my brain actually happening. I can't really describe the sensations as they are weird but it's a bit like brain zaps that people often describe. My eyes really don't feel connected to my head. It's not pleasant!"

 

I am trying to get more details about how long he's been on 75 mg since reinstating, but I am trying to learn about these things so that I can advise people.  I try to get them to come to SA.

So, what I'm seeing is that he likely tapered too fast off the first time, and suffered protracted withdrawal which led to "relapse" symptoms at 6 months, which we all know is the time when the big emotional wd symptoms hit (from my own experience and from what I've seen from others here).  He seems to be having windows and waves while on the dose he came off of!   For some reason his body is acting like he is in withdrawal.  Might this be due to poop out at 75 mg?  In another thread he asked if he should stay at that dose or increase?

 

If it is poop out, increasing might give relief for awhile but he'd likely have poop out again, and become more sensitized, and have that much farther to come off.  If he holds where he's at, what will the poop out end up doing?  Will he continue to have windows and waves, or will it turn into one big wave?

An increase could also be paradoxical, right, leading to worsening symptoms?

What would be the next best action to take?

Is there some article that explains why reducing helps when it comes to tolerance withdrawal?

 

I'm trying to steer him over here but part of me is like a detective, looking for and wanting to understand the solutions.

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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SquirrellyGirl

He added:

 

I restarted the Venlafaxine in September. The first couple of weeks were as you might expect with the side effects. The depressed thoughts lifted and I felt an improvement. I remember 6-8 weeks in I had a re lapse for a few days where anxiety took over.

This seemed to be the the pattern until now. Feeling good then I'd plummet. For no real reason.

Surely if these drugs were going to disagree with me, they would have done so from the start??

Since Sunday these past few days have been the worst I've had whilst being on them. I've terrible nerves and I'm absolutely petrified of what these drugs are doing to my brain. I'm scared of the unpredictability of their reaction. I can't guess how I'm going to feel the next day.

The options are in my opinion are, to increase the dose or come off them. If I increase the dose then I'm scared that it's going to be worse than it is already plus they might not be the correct drugs for my condition. Then I ask myself, what actually is my condition. I've read up quite a few things of which I probably shouldn't but I have. One is a personality disorder and the other is bipolar 2. I have traits of both but I've been told that everyone has traits to a certain extent of everything. Just the sufferers are worse. How worse is something I don't know the answer to.

If I come off them, I'm scared that the depression will return which as you'll know, is not pleasant!! But to be honest, that is on a level ground with how I've felt the past few days so I don't know what's worse lol. Anxiety attacks of the norm usually last a few minutes to a couple of hours but this is nearly all day!

Also what you said about my nervous system getting damaged. Scary but you made sense. None of the doctors will tell you any of this. For obvious reasons though to be fair.

I'm at a complete crossroads at the minute and I have no idea what to do next. I have no real worries in life, have my own home, a girlfriend which is my rock with this and we're getting our own home together so I've things to be upbeat about. But I'm not as this is ruling my life and is showing no signs of improvement. It's the not knowing what's happening to me that is the problem. There's no magic fix. Just torture. If I had reassurance and proof that things would be ok and that the drugs will work then I could probably tolerate it but putting myself through this for nothing isn't fair.

I saw a psychiatrist just before Xmas. I had to pay £300 as the NHS wouldn't see me.

He said that I had 3 options. To go on an SSRI, up my Venlafaxine or try an anti epileptic drug as he'd seen success with those.

I want someone to take their time with me and understand what I'm going through. But these Venlafaxine...something isn't right. I shouldn't be feeling like this. Surely??

 

I did not tell him his nervous system had been damaged and corrected him on that!  Still working on getting him over here.  So, is this poop out?  It seems risky to up the dose.  He started back at 75 mg which was too much after 6 months off.

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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KiwiBexonthenoffRemeron

 

Welcome, SquirrellyGirl.

 

How much Remeron and how much Effexor are you taking right now? Are you taking Effexor XR?

 

How long were you off Effexor before you recently went back on it? When did you go back on it?

 

This doctor actually has some insight into the risks of going on and off psychiatric drugs for years:

 

I stopped the Effexor and got an appointment with another p-doc who is a DO and actually not into psych meds. He said I'd been through about 3 years' worth of med changes in a very short period of time and that my nerves were very sensitive and that I needed consistency.

 

Are you still seeing this doctor?

 

See About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

Hello Altostrata,

 

I wish I had better documented what I was doing. I think I quit the Effexor around August last year. At that time, I was using the non-ER tablets and so could break them down to about 18 mg before quitting altogether. So, from August until last week, about 10 months. I think the Viibryd really damaged me, because it was when I moved up to 20 mg that I started having the worst anxiety of my life, and after stopping it, I still had the severe insomnia with anxiety. I was having the insomnia after quitting the Effexor, and complained about that, but the horrific repetitive anxious thoughts hadn't started yet.

 

I am now on 30 mg Remeron PM and 37.5 mg Effexor ER AM.

 

I will fill out my med history in my sig as best I can.

 

I am feeling guilty and not sure what to do because I have been switching doctors like crazy. The DO who is more conservative about meds was the first one I saw, but when I told him about the ADD theory, he didn't think so and wasn't interested in testing me. So, I went to a psychologist who does the testing. After telling me that I could feel "normal" on drugs, I didn't go back to the first one because I knew he wasn't pro drug. He had talked about nutritional support. So, that's why I went to p-doc #2 who prescribed the Viibryd. I didn't like her in addition to the med making me go haywire, so I didn't go back to her. I then made an appointment with p-doc #3 in the office where my therapist works, but the appointment was way in the future. Meanwhile, I went into crisis with the serotonin syndrome after crashing on the supplements and feeling so horrible as to think maybe Effexor was the answer again. P-doc #1 was able to see me right away where-as p-doc #3 didn't have any openings for new patients, so I went back to p-doc #1 who put me on Remeron. I figured he had my back so canceled the appointment with p-doc #3. When the Remeron started failing and I was despondent and desperate, his assistant never called back after four attempts to reach p-doc #1 over several days, I had a follow-up appointment scheduled with him but it was two weeks away. My therapist said I really ought to give #3 a try so I made an appointment with him again, which once again was weeks in the future. So, when the appointment with #1 came up, I kept it and he added the Effexor, said the combo was called California Rocket Fuel. Because the office of #3 said that if I cancelled again I would not be allowed to reschedule, I decided to keep the appointment with him, and that was last week. Now I feel guilty if I cancel the follow-up with him and continue with p-doc #1. My follow-up with #1 is conflicting with some job training I'm going to do, so I figured I'd reschedule him for next month and discuss this withdrawal business with my therapist. I'm a people pleaser and find myself not wanting disappoint my therapist by canceling with #3, which I know is ridiculous because it's really about what is best for me. My inconsistency and indecisiveness I think is part of this. I really liked #1 but hate the clinic he works for. It is a chain of centers which are poorly run, and it was inexcusable that his assistant totally dropped the ball on me. I feel like such a fool for playing back and forth between all these doctors.

2012 - Weaned off Fluoxetide (easily) onto 37.5mg Venlofaxine.
2013 - Dr suggested to increase Venlofaxine so did up to 180mg then reduced only over a matter of weeks suffering awful awful acute withdrawal. Put on Sertraline felt terribly low so put on Mirtazapine 15mg.
2014 - Felt truly awful on Mirtazapine with numerous side effects. Held for a long time over year. Think I reduced to 10mg slowly as thinking was so slowed.
2015 - Dry cutting to reduce Mirtazapine: Feb 3rd 9mg, Feb 17 8mg, March 3rd 7mg, March 17 6.5mg, March 23 6mg, April 7 5.5mg, April 21 5mg, May 5 4.5mg, June 29 4.0mg, July 13 3.5mg, Aug 10 3.2, Oct 13 3.1.
End of October stress entered and withdrawal caught up experienced lots of panic/confusion and forgot to take Mirtazapine for 3 nights and suffered confusion/psychosis experience and went to hospital for 10 days where they started zopiclone 7.5mg.
2016 - Been off Mirtazapine 3 months by end Jan. Feel ok in morning mood-wise can focus etc. Afternoons starts to go downhill headaches, lightsensitivity need to lie down in dark room, depersonalised at times/ spaced
out, anxiety/inner tremor late afternoon evening with crying spells and sometimes agitation. Still functioning ok - reading, driving, coversations, tv, gentle walks/swims, getting out a bit but not at night/social settings.
March 2016 Scary akathesia for 3 nights so took 2.5mg Olanzapine 10 days stopped due to side effects. Tried low dose Quetiapine for 4 nights first night 12.5 then halved dose to 6.25 for last 3 nights and stopped due to adverse reaction - obsessive thinking, dark thoughts, early waking, more distractible. Encouraged to reduce Zopiclone from 1x7.5mg to 3/4 7.5mg during Olanzapine trial. Scared of being stuck on zopiclone so end of May reduced from 3/4 to just over half got headachey, breathlessness increased to scary breathing attacks. Not asthma as was checked for this.  A week later increased back to 3/4. July noted headaches and breathlessness reduced so must have been related to too big a zopiclone reduction.

​2017 - Ongoing symptoms tend to come on around lunchtime - headaches, DP, breathlessness on/off increases into evening, Cognitive issues at times; over think/scattered/concentration issues etc.. Anhedonia at times, rage/tears at times. Remained at 3/4 7.5mg zopiclone and Ginet 84 contraceptive pill.

 

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KiwiBexonthenoffRemeron

Hi Squirrelly Girl,????

Just wanted to drop in and say hello! I'm a bit of people pleaser to - it drives me nuts????. I've have totally been where you're at bouncing around between different doctors etc.. But as my sister said to me so I'll say to you - you get to choose its you choice as a patient and therefore moving between different doctors to find who is going to be best is your right. I'm respect that they're the experts on the medications but I'm the expert on me (and my withdrawal sensitivities) so I have to meet someone who'll meet me in the middle and 'listen and respect my story'. I recently saw a psychiatrist who was the worst I'd ever seen - arrogant, patronising, jumping to conclusions about me and my experience. It was awful! So I said no way am I ever seeing her again. She had to hand her case over to another doctor who I see next week. If he doesn't 'listen and respect my story and knowledge about my sensitised nervous system' then I'll walk out the door to the next one who will. I have recently found a great GP who suffers depression/anxiety herself and has been on/off a few SSRIs herself. She's been an incredible support.

Gosh I have gone on a bit of a rant haven't I????? Lol! It struck a chord with me because I've struggled a bit to find the right ones for me too. Anyways just wanting to wish you well finding the right medical professional for you. ????

Rebecca????

2012 - Weaned off Fluoxetide (easily) onto 37.5mg Venlofaxine.
2013 - Dr suggested to increase Venlofaxine so did up to 180mg then reduced only over a matter of weeks suffering awful awful acute withdrawal. Put on Sertraline felt terribly low so put on Mirtazapine 15mg.
2014 - Felt truly awful on Mirtazapine with numerous side effects. Held for a long time over year. Think I reduced to 10mg slowly as thinking was so slowed.
2015 - Dry cutting to reduce Mirtazapine: Feb 3rd 9mg, Feb 17 8mg, March 3rd 7mg, March 17 6.5mg, March 23 6mg, April 7 5.5mg, April 21 5mg, May 5 4.5mg, June 29 4.0mg, July 13 3.5mg, Aug 10 3.2, Oct 13 3.1.
End of October stress entered and withdrawal caught up experienced lots of panic/confusion and forgot to take Mirtazapine for 3 nights and suffered confusion/psychosis experience and went to hospital for 10 days where they started zopiclone 7.5mg.
2016 - Been off Mirtazapine 3 months by end Jan. Feel ok in morning mood-wise can focus etc. Afternoons starts to go downhill headaches, lightsensitivity need to lie down in dark room, depersonalised at times/ spaced
out, anxiety/inner tremor late afternoon evening with crying spells and sometimes agitation. Still functioning ok - reading, driving, coversations, tv, gentle walks/swims, getting out a bit but not at night/social settings.
March 2016 Scary akathesia for 3 nights so took 2.5mg Olanzapine 10 days stopped due to side effects. Tried low dose Quetiapine for 4 nights first night 12.5 then halved dose to 6.25 for last 3 nights and stopped due to adverse reaction - obsessive thinking, dark thoughts, early waking, more distractible. Encouraged to reduce Zopiclone from 1x7.5mg to 3/4 7.5mg during Olanzapine trial. Scared of being stuck on zopiclone so end of May reduced from 3/4 to just over half got headachey, breathlessness increased to scary breathing attacks. Not asthma as was checked for this.  A week later increased back to 3/4. July noted headaches and breathlessness reduced so must have been related to too big a zopiclone reduction.

​2017 - Ongoing symptoms tend to come on around lunchtime - headaches, DP, breathlessness on/off increases into evening, Cognitive issues at times; over think/scattered/concentration issues etc.. Anhedonia at times, rage/tears at times. Remained at 3/4 7.5mg zopiclone and Ginet 84 contraceptive pill.

 

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SquirrellyGirl

HI Rebecca, thanks for stopping by!

 

I actually really liked the DO because he was into alternatives and not Rxing.  But when I went to the new guy, it was because my therapist recommended I see him, and that is when I didn't yet know that I was in withdrawal.  I had canceled one appointment with the new one and got chastised when I tried to schedule again, being told by the office staff that if I canceled again I would not be given another appointment, and so I went ahead and saw him even though I now knew I had been in withdrawal and maybe the DO would be better to stick with. 

 

I had resentment towards the DO for putting me on Remeron, a drug that causes weight gain (not good for a recovered bulimic!) and is known to be horrid to get off. But, I was in such distress when I saw him, I could see why he did it.  Meanwhile, the new one I saw was more arrogant, but he is willing to work with me as I taper, so I've stuck with him.

 

It was interesting to see all those earlier pieces of my thread you quoted, as I really was chaotic back then!  I've since settled into my taper.  I quit seeing my therapist, because I felt much more stable, and she had made a few comments that bothered me.  I saw her initially when I was at the worst of my WD, and when I reinstated, she said I should stay on the meds for maybe five years before trying to come off!  So, I realized she was really pro med and that she probably wasn't buying my discovery about withdrawal.  She declared on more than one occasion that I was lucky to be alive because, I guess, with where I was coming from with my life history many wouldn't have made it, she thought. At least that's how I interpreted what she said. That's all fine and well, but when she said it a few times I began to feel annoyed!  She also tried to lead me to conclusions that I didn't feel were real for me.  She did get me on to EBT, which has been more valuable than what I got through seeing her.  

 

In the future, I'd want to see someone who is more pure in a CBT approach.  This one was more a talk therapist, and I've been there done that many times before without any great results.  For now, I feel on pretty solid footing, so probably won't look for another unless/until I feel I need more direct support.

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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manymoretodays

I really enjoyed reading about your lambs and things.  :)

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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SquirrellyGirl

Thanks, manymoredays!  It is lambing season now and I've got four babies on the ground and waiting for more.  Dang, there's nothing like watching those babies do their thing, learning about their world!  Definitely a highlight around here :-)  I am able to forget about all of this madness when I stop and just "be" with them, watching them eating and such.  Very relaxing.  I'll see if I can post a picture of the babies on here.

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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SquirrellyGirl

IMG_0395.JPG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Hey SquirrelyGirl,

 

I sent a reply a few weeks back to the message you sent me .  It included that short memoir about my time being institutionalized in 1995.  Take a look in your message box the envelope icon in the top right of the page.  I know you said you aren't able to read much, but there is a short letter and some poetry, too.  For what it's worth I hardly read anymore either.  This forum and short articles online are about all I have the ability to really concentrate on anymore.  sucks.  I got 1 1/2 hrs of sleep last night.  lot's of staring into space and forgetting things. I was gonna make fried rice for myself but had to go to the store and get frozen pizza's instead.  A little too distracted to cook.  anyways,  hope you are doing well.   PoetJester

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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SquirrellyGirl

This morning I put on my Beck Pandora station to kick it in to gear, and I began to reflect on how healing music can be.  And then I began to think about my grandpa, Ralph Hoy, who founded a non-profit that brought music to the disabled, called Recordings for Recovery.  So I did a google search on it and found this article:

 

http://www.ourmidland.com/news/article_6bb43774-533a-11e1-851d-001871e3ce6c.html

 

I forgot about my cousin Mike taking it over and running it for all these years since Grandpa died.  Mike is an amazing man and an example of how brain injury is not a death sentence.  He was badly damaged in two accidents, brain injury included, physically disabled and legally blind.  He continued Grandpa's dream and has lived a very satisfying life despite his disabilities.  Sadly, I'm sure the internet and easy access to digital music has taken the wind out of Recordings for Recovery's sails.

 

So, today I want to honor these fine men and their recognition of how powerful music is for the soul, for healing.  Play some favorite music today, move to the rhythm, and feel the joy that it brings!  :lol:   

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Hi squirrellygirl

Hope your well. How have you been going?

Currently suffer extreme CFS, Lyme, adrenal fatigue, bad gut issues, reaction bad to mold basically etc home a lot. Can hardly walk all I get crash easily. 
I’m currently on mirtizapine 1.7mg and Reboxetine 0.4mg. I did a cut on reboxetine on the 19/4/20 around 11%. 
Also taking Ativan since January 2mg. 
 
 
 

 

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SquirrellyGirl

I'm doing pretty well!  Switched to making my own liquid mirt which is kind of not as exact as I thought it would be, but handling it ok, no major bobbles.   14 mg.  Still a long way to go.

 

I sleep really hard in the mornings, with strange dreams!  But once I'm up, I'm not overly fatiqued, so that's good.

 

I had a good day yesterday!  I am using my SAD lamp in the mornings.  I played my music that makes me feel upbeat, got the dishes done, and then went outside and worked on a project that I'd started, took me the rest of the day but got it done and was so happy to have had the motivation to do it!  And I didn't hurt myself in the process!  Well, my knee is bugging me for some reason, but other than that, it's all good :-)

 

How are you? 

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Hi squirrellygirl

Wow that is so awesome to hear your are doing pretty good. It's a good feeling when you feel good cause you are then in a good mood to get things done. Yeah struggling still but I'm still pushing so hard with ally heart. I do realise many nights I'm not sleeping well which is awful. Plus that ongoing severe fatigue but I'm still here alive.

Need to try my melatonin again or look at some good magnesium that might help. I continue to cry it's that much pain.

Take care have a nice day

Currently suffer extreme CFS, Lyme, adrenal fatigue, bad gut issues, reaction bad to mold basically etc home a lot. Can hardly walk all I get crash easily. 
I’m currently on mirtizapine 1.7mg and Reboxetine 0.4mg. I did a cut on reboxetine on the 19/4/20 around 11%. 
Also taking Ativan since January 2mg. 
 
 
 

 

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SquirrellyGirl

Well, I was doing pretty good but now I'm in a wave and I had forgotten how bad it feels.

 

I switched to making liquid mirt, using the Ora-Plus liquid, 14 mg/day.  I thought it would be easier to do it this way than weighing out little pieces, so crazy-making!  I switched to the liquid on the 26th, and about a week later found myself feeling more weepy but not bad otherwise.  I had actually gotten a project done around that time, one that I had been dragging my heels on, so it felt really good to a) want to do it and B) actually finish it, having done a good job as well!  I actually felt a bit elated at times.

 

Last Thursday, I had a dog training appointment scheduled (I was a trainer in a past life and was entertaining starting up again, had gotten a couple of clients...).  The first appointment with this client was a bit unsatisfying.  I got sick after that first appointment so had to reschedule, and then the client canceled and reschuled. So, on Thursday, I found myself dreading going to the appointment. I thought, uh-oh, that's not good, that I have no motivation to do this, so that was a sign of trouble brewing.  I checked to make sure we were still "on," and she requested to reschedule.  I was actually relieved.

 

It was my dad's 87th birthday this weekend, so we were going to visit my parents for a b-day dinner Saturday to Sunday. Friday, one of my sheep started lambing and wasn't progressing, so I had to pull it.  Then, Saturday morning another ewe had twins but appeared to be rejecting them; she'd let them nurse one minute and then butt then, knocking them down the next.  That triggered me into crisis mode since I was having to leave town!!!  Thankfully, I have my near neighbor helping and another friend who is in the know about such matters, so they helped out, but it got my nerves all a-jangle big time, and I had a crying spell on our drive to my parents' town.

 

Thankfully, my friend reported that the ewe was now taking good care of her babies (having bottle babies is a real pain!), so I was able to calm down, but I kept having troubling thoughts about things I have worried about in the past.  It was this time last year that the wheels began to really fall off the bus when I was in protracted withdrawal, with panic, doom, dread, derealization and depression, and this feeling I've got now is similar.  

 

I am finding myself unable to control troubling thoughts about all the things that triggered me last year.  I am reminding myself of Eckhart's teachings, that our thoughts create our fears, but boy do I get it, that when you are in the neuro emotions it is really hard to bring it under control.  I was lying in bed this morning, dozy but wakeful at the same time, so I tried deep breathing and reciting to myself "I can stay present and connected with myself" but then I'd start to doze off and begin having troubling dream-like thoughts.

 

So, when I got up, I decided to do a cycle, EBT stuff, and pretty much broke down into a crying fit.  I guess I feel better for having just let it all out.  I just wanted to document it here.

 

The situation is:  I took antidepressants for nearly 20 years thinking that I "needed" them, that I was a depressive that just needed them like a diabetic yada yada yada.  Over the years, I was still depressed, nothing ever quite good enough, but too apathetic to care.  I was absent, not feeling, not truly living, numbed out.  I had no motivation, no creativity, no idea what I needed or wanted to feel fulfilled.  I could never achieve, was always afraid to try, never felt good enough or worthy, but I just kept simmering along like that year after year.  

 

Anger:  I $%^^@ HATE that I bought the line about imbalance!!!  I can't stand that I did this to myself for all those years!  I HATE that these drugs actually CREATED the ongoing depression conditions of a less than satisfactory life!!!  OMG, I can't believe that these drugs did this to me, ruined me!!!!  I hate it I hate it I HATE IT!!!!  

 

Sadness:  I feel sad that I did this to myself by swallowing the pills year after year.  I'm sad that my life was just a shadow of what it could have been because of this. I'm sad that these drugs created this place that I am at.  I'm sad that I am having to go through this and there is no easy fix.

 

Fear:  I'm afraid that this wave will get worse.  I'm afraid as I get lower on the meds that this will keep happening.  I am afraid that I will never get free of the drugs.  I am afraid that I will be stuck this way no matter what. I feel afraid that the anxiety will get worse, bringing on more fear and panic.

 

Guilt:  I feel guilty that I am so non-functional and have been for years, and that my husband has had to take up the slack all the time.  I feel guilty that I could never rise to my potential.  I feel guilty that I have kept taking the pills without questioning why I wasn't doing better.  I feel guilty that I just want to hole up on the couch and do nothing.

 

Unreasonable Expectation:  That I should have somehow known better.  That I should have been able to perform and achieve despite the actions of the drugs pulling me down.  That I should have figured this out sooner.

 

Reasonable Expectation:  How could I know?  The past is what it is and I can let it go.  I can let the past go and take one moment at a time.  

 

I can let the past go and take one moment at a time.  I can be present and take one moment at a time.  I can be present and take one moment at a time.  Grind it it:  I can be present and take one moment at a time.  I can be present and take one moment at a time.

 

I feel a little better.

 

If anyone wants to work through cycles with me by PM, just let me know. It helps to do it with people who understand.

 

Peace to all, 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Hey I'm am sorry you are struggling. Ironically, some of your issues are mine and am currently listening to Claire Weeks audio book on how to resolve them. For example, don't hide from fear. Let it happen and accept it.

Lexapro: started in 2002 at 10 mgs.

Ambien: started as a as needed sleep aid in 2010.

Quit Lexapro cold turkey in June 20015 due to contributing to low sodium issues.

Restarted Lexapro in late November for a week (only 5 mgs) but quit due to dizziness side effects. Side effects worsened for 3 weeks until

12/24/15: Protracted WD hit, experienced extreme anxiety, insomnia lack of full concentration and social challenges.

Reinstated Lexapro on 1/1/16 at 5 mgs. Increased per Dr to 7.5 MG. Tapered off Lexapro in March 2016.

Started 50MG of Seroquel in late January 2016 for bedtime to help in eliminate Ambien. Tapered off both Seroquel and Ambien in March 2016.

2/14/16: Prescribed both Remeron (15 MG) and Temazapam (15 MG) for sleep. Also use Klonopin and Ambien again in place of Temazapam to avoid addiction. However I did take Temazapam 60 straight days

6/15/16: Stopped use of all benzo's and now use Belsomra 1-2 times a week. Still on 15 MG of Remeron

10/11/16: Off all psych medications

 

After kindling, trying to regain my strength suffering from severe mental and physical fatigue.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
SquirrellyGirl

Thank you, Christian.  I will look into her stuff next.  Seen her name crop up here a lot.  I'm doing a little better this afternoon after my work this morning.  I hope your anxiety is better than it was :-)  I thought of you, meant to pop into your thread, because I saw an article about the weighted blanket for anxiety and insomnia, and then I saw that Alto had written about it, having found it was helpful.  I am sleeping ok, but might get one next.  Adding to my arsenal, along with my SAD lamp!

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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just dropping by to say hi and hope you are feeling better!

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
  • Nov. 2020, loving life ❤️ 
 
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus
SquirrellyGirl

Hi Catnapt, 

 

I guess I'm somehow missing notifications, didn't know you dropped by!

 

I went through a rough patch with withdrawal symptoms that included anxiety/fear, and I think it is because I dared to make too big a batch of liquid mirt and it lost its potency.  I know someone, not on this forum, who was tapering well with two week batches, mixed with water and maple syrup.  Since the Ora-Plus has some preservative aspect to it I thought I could get away with it.  Not so much.  Went back to dry cutting and immediately felt better.  

 

However, I am finding myself sinking into depression again.  I just don't know how much of it is due to the drugs (or less of) and how much of it is the old me.  

 

Motivation is still extremely low.  I have had bouts of wanting to do things but then lose enthusiasm/drive.  Last fall I thought perhaps I would start up my dog training business again after eight years away from it, some way of making money on my own terms because I just can't fathom going out and getting a job.  I even purchased a web domain and was going to order business cards, start a website....I had a couple of clients that dropped into my lap that were pretty satisfying.  But then I recently got one that wasn't at all  I got sick and had to cancel, and then the woman canceled on me a couple of times.  We were supposed to meet again today but she told me that she is overwhelmed, her husband isn't on board, and she doesn't want to waste my time.  I agreed that it wouldn't be good to try to continue, mainly because it was already feeling like a poor outcome.  I am relieved because I could tell they weren't going to be a compliant family and it would be unsatisfying for me.  But it also leaves me feeling down because I've lost all enthusiasm to try to start my business.

 

 Ironically, I think I was in withdrawal from a dosage cut when I gave up the business, having lost all confidence in myself.

 

I just can't sustain interest in anything.  I feel little pleasure in the things that used to drive me.  For 25 plus years I pursued my herding hobby with my dogs and now I feel like it is a chore, to go out and train them.  I can't think of a single thing that I'd LIKE to do for fun, not one.  I'm crying right now as I think about how I've lost VIBRANCY thanks to the drugs.  I have a herding trial coming up, used to live for them, and now I don't care.

 

I'm sounding like so many on here when I say, Is this me or is it neuro-emotions?  What about the low/no motivation?  Even when I feel like I'm not in a wave, I still have none.  I am left with doubt, that reducing the drugs is doing this to me, and how will I be when off?  I know that this is extreme thinking because I was having pretty bad spells when I was on a higher amount of Ven, so not like life was better!  Just wondering if life will ever feel better - makes me feel so sad, weepy, thinking about it.  So, the thoughts again are the source of my suffering.

 

I want so badly to feel EXCITED about things again!

 

I guess I will go out and train the dogs and then hit the couch.  It is not a day to push myself. 

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

When the drugs are gone, you'll be able to do all sorts of healing things without being hampered by them.  The strength you're building now will be of even more use to you without the complications of drugs. 

 

I reckon the odds are in our favour, rather than against.

 

Karen

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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I'm so sorry SG that you are feeling so terrible! It made me so heartbroken and angry with whis most cruel crime!

These drugs are very potent especially after we get sensitized by WD, hope you can make the liquid in a more precise way and stabilize quickly. I wonder if we can request the manufacture to make liquid form of Effexor.

 

Hugs,

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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  • Moderator Emeritus
SquirrellyGirl

Thanks Karen and Lex, 

 

I went back to dry cutting the mirtazapine (Remeron) and felt better, so was surprised by yesterday's mood swing.  I never recognized that I was having mood swings but this was a clear example!  I guess I've had them all along, but thought I was just tired.

 

I went out and worked the dogs and oddly felt better!  Often, working the dogs leaves me more irritable, because one in particular pushes my buttons and flares up my anger, but that didn't happen yesterday.  I then did a couple of little projects and pulled some weeds.  I felt much better. 

 

I know I want off of this #$% but it is frightening to think there will be more of this.  I have too many physical symptoms of the toxicity of these drugs to entertain being on them forever.  With my sister just being diagnosed with the dry form of macular degeneration in one eye, I got to thinking about the dry eye I've had and looked it up with regards to psych meds, since I'd seen other people here complain of it.  Turns out venlafaxine can cause ocular nerve damage!  Great!  My sis has never been on psych meds, BTW.  So, there's no turning back on this decision.  

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Hi SG

I'm so glad you are feeling better. You are doing so well and hope you have more and more good days a head. Good to hear you done something with the dogs and felt good awesome keep it up.

Hardy

Currently suffer extreme CFS, Lyme, adrenal fatigue, bad gut issues, reaction bad to mold basically etc home a lot. Can hardly walk all I get crash easily. 
I’m currently on mirtizapine 1.7mg and Reboxetine 0.4mg. I did a cut on reboxetine on the 19/4/20 around 11%. 
Also taking Ativan since January 2mg. 
 
 
 

 

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  • 1 month later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi SquirrelleyGirl ,   Congratulations  on your moderatorship-ness!  

It's always nice hearing the voice of calm and reason resonate in your posts. 

 

Welcome aboard ,   bw ,  :)

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Remeron causes dry eye, too. My eye doctor and retinologist diagnosed me with macular degeneration 4 years ago. They have been monitoring the damage since then. I take eye vitamins (Preseravison) to slow down the progress of degeneration.

 

My ophamalogist also said I had dry eyes. On the test I had scored a zero four years ago. The scale is from 0 to 10. This year at my checkup I asked him to repeat the dry eye test. I scored a 6 - still dry but improved. Th eye damage has remained the same but has not gotten worse.

 

He did mention cataracts this time, though. I was assuming that was age related. I guess I'd better google for information about cataracts as well.

 

I had no idea four years ago that Remeron was the culprit in my eye problems. My doctor said ANY medication dries out your eyes, even Advil.

 

When we know better, we do better.

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
SquirrellyGirl

Hi SquirrelleyGirl ,   Congratulations  on your moderatorship-ness!  

It's always nice hearing the voice of calm and reason resonate in your posts. 

 

Welcome aboard ,   bw ,   :)

 

Thank you, Fresh!  It's an honor to be among such fine company!  I am dipping my toes in slowly...

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • Moderator
brassmonkey

Hi SG-- It's great to have you as a new moderator.  No need to dive in, it can be very over powering, just little bits at a time as you get use to it.  Just keep doing things the way you have been and then expand as you feel confident.

 

((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Moderator Emeritus
SquirrellyGirl

Thanks, Brass!  I'd just like to be more competent with regards to reinstatement decisions, especially when there have been other meds tried in between the present and the one that they'd been on the longest.  I will spend more time boning up on such information...

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
SquirrellyGirl

Well, it's been awhile since I updated my thread!  I have found that I can go along feeling pretty "normal" as I taper, unless a big stressor hits me, and then I go in the hole.  But, the wave only lasts a day or two.  

 

Last week I got another bad cold virus, but it didn't cause a crash, so happy about that!

 

The main thing I wanted to report here is that I have successfully switched to doing a liquid taper using mirtazapine SolTabs.  I had a terrible time trying to switch to a home-made liquid using crushed tablets and Ora-Plus suspension liquid.  Made the mistake of switching directly to the liquid, and went into a wave which included a lot of anxiety.  Went back to dry cutting.  This time, I did a gradual cross-over from the old tabs to the SolTabs, dry-cutting both doing 75%/25%, 50%/50%, 25%/75% old to new, four days for each, and then 100% new in gel caps for four days.  Then, I did 50% dry and 50% liquid for several days, which went fine, so then 100% liquid, which has been for the last few days without anything major welling up.

 

The SolTabs dissolve in the water easily enough,. but sediment will still settle in the tube so I still have to mix and measure quickly to get an "accurate" dose.  The tablet itself displaces about 0.5ml FYI!  So, I am now at 13.5 mg mirtazapine (Remeron)!

 

I use a 15 ml conical tube with screw cap to mix a 15 mg SolTab with water for a final volume of 15 ml, 1mg/ml.  I then use a 3cc syringe to draw off 1.5 ml.  Then, I drink the rest out of the tube.  Thankfully, the SolTabs have an orange flavor which isn't as bad as the ground regular tablets - bitter!  I then add a few rounds of water to the tube, shake and drink to be sure I get all the residual for a consistent dose.

 

I am thinking of doing the Brassmonkey slide now, at least down to 7.5 mg or thereabouts, and then hold there while I work on the venlafaxine taper.  

 

Thankfully I haven't lost my sleep along the way, YET.  That is probably my biggest fear.

 

I've heard that people in withdrawal don't get sick, but boy, I'm the opposite, two upper respiratory infections within three months.  I've got to work on my diet, which is not as clean as it should be :-)

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • Moderator
brassmonkey

Hi SG-- the cross taper to the liquid sounds like it went very well.  I hope a lot of people read about how you did it.  Be sure to give it a few weeks to settle before trying a taper as it counts as a dose change event and you don't want to rush a good thing.  If you want to try a slide then it might be a good idea to extend the first additional hold period a week or two so the switch doesn't throw any curves at you. So you'd go 1, 1, 1, 1, 4 instead of 1, 1, 1, 1, 2.

 

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to SquirrellyGirl: Effexor withdrawal etc

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