divalee Posted July 27, 2016 Author Share Posted July 27, 2016 Wow Christian thank you for much for this - it is really helpful. Thank you much but what I read he wasn't in protracted WD very long.....I am 3 years and 2 months in protracted WD....if you read his list....but he sure has suffered a lot while on these drugs poor man....Thank you again Chrisitan Love Lee (f) Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Christian Posted July 27, 2016 Share Posted July 27, 2016 No problem. If you listen closely he was in protracted 4 years. That's when he went back to work. He completely healed by year 8. Lexapro: started in 2002 at 10 mgs. Ambien: started as a as needed sleep aid in 2010. Quit Lexapro cold turkey in June 20015 due to contributing to low sodium issues. Restarted Lexapro in late November for a week (only 5 mgs) but quit due to dizziness side effects. Side effects worsened for 3 weeks until 12/24/15: Protracted WD hit, experienced extreme anxiety, insomnia lack of full concentration and social challenges. Reinstated Lexapro on 1/1/16 at 5 mgs. Increased per Dr to 7.5 MG. Tapered off Lexapro in March 2016. Started 50MG of Seroquel in late January 2016 for bedtime to help in eliminate Ambien. Tapered off both Seroquel and Ambien in March 2016. 2/14/16: Prescribed both Remeron (15 MG) and Temazapam (15 MG) for sleep. Also use Klonopin and Ambien again in place of Temazapam to avoid addiction. However I did take Temazapam 60 straight days 6/15/16: Stopped use of all benzo's and now use Belsomra 1-2 times a week. Still on 15 MG of Remeron 10/11/16: Off all psych medications After kindling, trying to regain my strength suffering from severe mental and physical fatigue. Link to comment
divalee Posted July 28, 2016 Author Share Posted July 28, 2016 Christian my mistake I was looking at your list at the bottom - I am sorry....and yes I listened again.....thank you so much again for taking the time to send this video . I too shall listen to it when I get to the point of giving up .. Thank you Love Lee (f) Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
divalee Posted July 29, 2016 Author Share Posted July 29, 2016 I have made an appointment with a neurologist - now I think I have something terribly wrong with me I feel so sick all the time. My head is always with pressure and pins and needles ....light headedness well I wrote here just the other day all my symptoms - Now I have health anxiety to the point I think I have something terribly wrong...my anxiety has hit the roof... No one seems to want to answer me any more - well I don't blame you - I am sorry for being so weak - I thought I was stronger than this - every day seems to get worse not better. I have listened to the Video thank you Christian... Thank you for listening anyway Love Lee Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted July 29, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 29, 2016 No one seems to want to answer me any more - well I don't blame you - I am sorry for being so weak - I thought I was stronger than this - every day seems to get worse not better. Lee, I'm sorry I wasn't able to respond to your earlier post -- I've been crushed at work and have let a LOT of things slide of late. NOBODY thinks you are weak. This will bring the strongest of people to their knees. It is relentless in the daily grind. It is perfectly fine to seek support, especially in light of the solitary conditions you find yourself in at the present. We are here for you. I think most of us just wish there were something we could do to ease your load and it's hard to not have a good answer for you. I think you are wise to go get yourself checked out. No downside to finding out if there is something going on and one never knows. I DO NOT, however, thing there is something awfully wrong with you. That is the way we all feel when we are struggling with withdrawal. It starts with "well, this is probably just withdrawal" but as the days go on with no relief it is hard for that thought not to morph into "this must be something more serious -- it can't JUST be withdrawal." Alas, for many people, it is JUST withdrawal. But minimizing withdrawal by calling it JUST withdrawal does a disservice to ourselves as if we are so weak we should be able to simply pick ourselves up by the bootstraps. That's not fair. I would urge you to find any book, video or podcast involving Kristin Neff who speaks eloquently on the concept of self-compassion. You deserve to have compassion for yourself, Lee. This condition sucks and it is not weak of you to feel pain. I would also encourage you, however, to look at your situation with a different set of eyes. You said it only feels like it is getting worse. I seem to recall you saying you had small periods of feeling better -- not good but better. If that is true, it DOESN'T only get worse and that is cause for optimism. We don't know why some people take longer than others to heal but there are plenty of stories around the web of people as long and longer in withdrawal who then turned around and healed. I know you will ask me to provide links but I don't catalogue them so I can't, but I know I have read many. Your brain is fighting to heal and it will make progress. Your job is to continue to do what you can in your effort to support your brain and body. Let us know what the neurologist says and, hopefully, you will start to see some improvements soon. My thoughts are with you. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
divalee Posted July 29, 2016 Author Share Posted July 29, 2016 Oh Andy I am crying so much reading this - thank you so much - I suppose I just need to hear there is speranza - this is >just> withdrawals - I do have all the symptoms of withdrawals but as you said after a while for so very very long feeling so awful one things it cant be withdrawals...but I know it is.... Yes I will go to the neurologist just for peace of mind - I will let you know what he says after all tests are done. Like I said a couple of years ago I had a CT Scan of my head and they found nothing wrong..Still might as well get this done and then I will just have to make myself understand that it is indeed withdrawals. Thank you once more - you never give up on me....xxx Love Lee When the dog bites When the bee stings When Im feeling sad I simply remember my favourite things And then I don't ......feel....so.....bad. xxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Cherry47 Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Divalee I have had all those head symptoms and I know how bad they are. I could not put any pressure on my head at all, to touch it or comb my hair caused such sensitivity. I could not lean back in a chair, could not lie down, for a while I had to try to sleep sitting up so my head did not touch anything - impossible. It was all so, so horrible, I thought I would go mad and yes, it certainly revs up the anxiety. I had CAT scan and a MRI, both showed up nothing so rest assured you will be okay. I had some actupuncture round the neck area for osteoarthritis at the time and it slowly went away, not sure if that was the result of the acup or not, but it will pass so hang in there, you are not alone. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for 32 years, given AD for this condition alone in 2000 Zoloft 100mg for 15 years, last five of these complained about adverse effects, unable to tolerate other meds even supplements Slowly felt sicker, advised by different Dr maybe on ads for too long Cut back 100 - 50 over 6 months, still getting worse, so stopped over about 6 weeks starting Dec 2014 First month, slow, emotional, useless then POW! Horrendous withdrawal symptoms, completely non-functional for about five months, slowly started to come back to life and continue with waves and windows, still more bad than good, but bads are less bad, and goods slightly better each time Link to comment
LexAnger Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Hi Lee, I know exactly how you feel. I'm in my 4th year tapering lexapro, down from 10mg to 1.9 mg, I have been having all the crazy head.symptoms you listed all these years. When they are super bad, I want to cut those parts of body off. All the ppl who made it this far are super strong so don't think you are not strong enough. You endured the most incredible tourture for these many years and you can endure the rest. It feels so difficult to go through each minute but looking back, you made it to today. Just have faith that You will feel better eventually even it takes longer than the average, 2-4 yrs is what it takes for most ppl and you are so close. It could happen any day, and I read once it starts, it can be very quick for each of the symptom disappear one after another, just hang in for a bit more. I believe you will soon reach the point to the success story! Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
divalee Posted August 10, 2016 Author Share Posted August 10, 2016 To Cherry and Lex Thank you so much for your encouragement....I am going tomorrow to the Neurologist and I am so scared they will find something wrong....and on top of it all it will be over 100F heat. People with WDS at least many of them, cannot tolerate the heat and I sure cant...anyway as usual no matter how I feel - I will go...I never let fear stop me...but believe me everything I do is so incredibly an effort. BUT I have something to tell you - especially my dear friend here who never fails to answer my posts ANDY....guess what....I had a WINDOW night before last....first really obvious one in months and months and months and months.....The day started out as usual me getting up in the morning with high anxiety, profuse sweating and crying - this day was a really bad day. And as usual I did what I had to do anyway. Wash my hair and shower - then out of the blue around 6 pm - I felt almost normal - head was clear vision was soft - and I felt human - I didn't know how to be - It was a wonderful night lasted until I went to bed....I didn't want to go to bed because I knew how it would be the next morning - I just said - Thank you Universe for this Window... But sure enough next day it was all back....but can you imagine me having a window....can you imagine.....I couldn't believe it - I didn't know how to be - it was so strange - tears are just running down my face as I write this. At least I know that if I have had one window - then others will come...Before this I had my doubts thinking I would never get better.....but look I HAD A WINDOW Cherry, Lex - thank you for your reply and encouragement - and Andy thank you for being there for me all the time xxxx Love Lee If happy little bluebirds fly Beyond the Rainbow So can.......you........and......I ...........xxxxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted August 10, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 10, 2016 BUT I have something to tell you - especially my dear friend here who never fails to answer my posts ANDY....guess what....I had a WINDOW night before last....first really obvious one in months and months and months and months.....The day started out as usual me getting up in the morning with high anxiety, profuse sweating and crying - this day was a really bad day. And as usual I did what I had to do anyway. Wash my hair and shower - then out of the blue around 6 pm - I felt almost normal - head was clear vision was soft - and I felt human - I didn't know how to be - It was a wonderful night lasted until I went to bed....I didn't want to go to bed because I knew how it would be the next morning - I just said - Thank you Universe for this Window... But sure enough next day it was all back....but can you imagine me having a window....can you imagine.....I couldn't believe it - I didn't know how to be - it was so strange - tears are just running down my face as I write this. At least I know that if I have had one window - then others will come...Before this I had my doubts thinking I would never get better.....but look I HAD A WINDOW Lee, I am moved to tears reading about your window. I am so happy for you that you had this little glimpse into what will be. This alone should provide you with the strength to get through the difficult times (which hopefully will soon become increasingly less difficult). This really did make my day, Lee! Thank you for sharing this and your kind words. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
divalee Posted August 10, 2016 Author Share Posted August 10, 2016 Andy - thank you for being there for me - Andy I had a window.....I just didn't know how to be.... Now I will be able to cope even more with these WDs with so much speranza, hope now.... Love Lee xxx I simply remember my Window and then I don't feel.....so.....bad.... Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
AmyK Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 That is so wonderful with the window, divalee! Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
direstraits Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 this is wonderful news! hope you see many more windows ahead! xoxo went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
divalee Posted August 10, 2016 Author Share Posted August 10, 2016 Thank you Amy and Direstraits...It was an ubelievable experience.....but now I am back where I was before - but at least I have some hope now Love Lee xxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
divalee Posted September 5, 2016 Author Share Posted September 5, 2016 Hello again I am now 3 years and 3 months off Zoloft still will severe side effects - but now am noticing some windows - it doesn't last long like maybe for a couple of hours but I find I difference now - I cant quite explain - Waves I am in constantly, but then suddenly my head will feel clear out of the blue and this is mostly around 6 or 7 pm ....a few weeks ago I really felt a huge difference one night and couldn't believe it - I didn't know how to be - and hated to go to bed because I knew it would all be back the next day. But I am getting very slight windows - not every day - but I do get them. The whole cruel thing is...once you have a peek at a window you just cant believe it and then back in to a wave which just brings you down even further - because when you are in a wave you sort of accept it as your daily living - but when this window appears and you get so excited only for you to go back in to another dark wave it seems to make you worse. I still suffer aftter 3.3 years head pressure, pins and needles face and head ...pressure bridge of my nose..feeling of blocked ears...migraines- visual disturbances - and this terrible fatigue is unbelievable. Also now I have great anxiety and depression due to these WDs... Does anyone else suffer with extreme fatigue - Still I do everything I have to do. Groceries, appointments, clean my house look after my kittens - I might cry doing it but I do it.....I will never let this beat me. But I am getting tired and fearful that this is the way I will feel for the rest of my life - .... Can anyone relate to what I am going through.....and another thing I have excellent vision, yet it is distorted and blurry and now a fear of going blind scares me - sometimes I feel I cant see - I have been to my ophthalmologist and there is nothing wrong with my eyes.....I guess it is health anxiety - Just venting, please forgive me once again.....but I have to tell you that I do every once in a while get a tiny window - so there is speranza hope there has to be else I cant go on forever like this Thank you for listening...and I am sorry for this weakness but these bloody withdrawal brings you down to your knees. Love Lee Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus scallywag Posted September 5, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 5, 2016 I'm sorry you're still dealing with this level of symptoms, Lee. You're not alone with the optical difficulties: Vision symptoms This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to 0.0 mg Aug. 12; details here scallywag's IntroductionOnline spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted September 5, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 5, 2016 Lee, First off, thank you for visiting my thread and providing encouragement. I really appreciate it. While I know it is hard, and withdrawal is cruel in that it makes you believe you will be this way forever, the reality is that these past couple of months have shown huge improvement for you. You have gone from no windows for three years to a bunch of windows the past couple of months. They are short but they are real. And they can only signify one thing -- healing. Keep the faith, Lee. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
direstraits Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 Hi Lee, I have the blurry vision,too...it seems worse in my left eye for some reason...I worry I'll never see clearly again. I'm sorry it's still so difficult for you but glad you're starting to see some improvement..healing is happening even though it's so slow. and you're right about WD bringing us to our knees...it's unbelievable that this can happen but here we are. hang in there....xoxo went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
divalee Posted September 6, 2016 Author Share Posted September 6, 2016 Scallywag thank you so much for this link...gives me a bit more hope....Thank you for taking the time to do this for me xxxx Andy - yes you are right I should be happy for these slight windows - and I am it is just that when you do get them no matter how slight you just hate to go back to darkness....but I will be strong in the knowledge that yes I am slowly getting better..no matter how slowly I will get there . Thank you Andy as always for your encouragement and I hope you are doing better too. You know I pray for you and others all the time - I know your sufferings....I know xxxx Direstraits - thank you for writing to me - Yes mine is one eye too but sometimes it does clear up - We know it is from WDs we just have to keep reminding ourselves that is what it is....look up the link Scallywag sent me about vision, it will help a lot. Thank you again for taking the time to answer me xxx Because of all of you My life is somewhat worthwhile And sometimes I can smile Because...of....you. Love Lee Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
AliG Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 Hi Lee. I'm so pleased that you're experiencing some windows. Although they don't last long they do show improvement and healing. It's always hard when they close. It seems cruel to have them snatched away so quickly but I always felt that those short windows showed what was possible further down the track. They gave me hope. That is how it was with my recovery. The windows continued getting longer and more frequent. Now I'm in a window most of the time with the odd wave or two. I had the severe fatigue too and sometimes still do , but I'm finding " juicing" is giving me back my energy. I know you're in a wave right now but another window is coming up . There is lots of hope. It does get better. Hugs, Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
divalee Posted September 7, 2016 Author Share Posted September 7, 2016 AliG thank you so much for responding to me. I had no windows at all for months and months and months - so these minute windows are a good sign - especially one I had about three weeks ago . It started at 6 pm that night and lasted all night til I went to bed . I didn't want to go to bed because I knew that it would not be there in the morning - I wake up every morning soaking wet...high anxiety and crying.... But I am having windows no matter how slight - but the waves are so bad...it is so hard and for months and months no hope - So now there is speranza there is hope. I am so glad you are doing so much better AliG imagine you are in a window most of the time with odd waves or two. Great I am super happy for you. Thank you for your post to me.... Love Lee Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
divalee Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 Hello .....its me No one has to answer me I just need somewhere to write how things are going - nothing anyone can do for me..but at least I have somewhere to write. I had a window few weeks ago at night from 6pm on...when I woke up next morning of course everything was back. I cant explain it - I get these moment windows - that don't last long...but I also get some time with relief of anxiety...but never can I say I had a remarkable window - Now I am in a really frightening wave - things seem to be getting worse not better. I have an appointment to the dentist tomorrow, Thursday another appointment taking an elderly lady to have her dog groomed...and Saturday I take her grocery shopping. No matter how I feel - I have done all of these up til now - Now I feel overwhelmed the side effects are so bad that I am afraid I wont be able to do the things I have to do. It never stopped me before - and I know it wont stop me now - but I am afraid I might lose control - which I never ever do. Sensitivity to light - blurred vision, head pain, head pressure..depersonalisation - severe fatigue - light headedness, night sweats, morning severe anxiety have all gotten worse... I don't think this is withdrawals any more - I think this is going to be me forever... Now our whole street has been ripped up - will take two weeks for it to be back to normal...I have to park my car on another street - everything is too overwhelming for me.. I cant let it get to me I just cant - so far with all the 3.3 years off Zoloft .....no matter how I felt I did what I had to do...now all of a sudden I am finding it more and more difficult....what has happened.....why is this happening... Please you don't have to answer me - what can you tell me really - I am just thankful I can come here and post how I feel. Just venting.....just God Help Me......and all of you who are suffering so much Love Lee Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
coldturkmama Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 It makes sense really...bad waves happen and this too will pass. Hold on and hold tight. Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout October 2013 quit cold turkey Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window Late November WD nightmare Windows and waves pattern Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. Link to comment
divalee Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 Thank you Coldturkmama -you are off 28 months - I am glad you doing decent and fighting every step of the way. What are your symptoms if you don't mind me asking you.... I didn't expect any answers - I just needed to come here that is all......thank you though. Love Lee xxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
coldturkmama Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Well I still fight the same symptoms that I've had following the windows/waves pattern. I posted a list of them in my thread a few weeks ago. Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout October 2013 quit cold turkey Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window Late November WD nightmare Windows and waves pattern Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. Link to comment
divalee Posted September 13, 2016 Author Share Posted September 13, 2016 I am sorry coldturkmama - so wrapped up in myself - I will look for your post and see what you have written xxxx I hope you are doing much better Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
divalee Posted September 13, 2016 Author Share Posted September 13, 2016 I wrote your name on search but it doesn't give me your posts only mine with you. I don't know how to get to read yours. I will scroll down to find it that way. xxxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted September 13, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 13, 2016 Here's the link: Coldturkmama: paxil 14 years, cold turkey, protracted withdrawal. To find a member's intro topic, click on their name. Then click on Find Content on the right hand side, then click on Only Topics on the left hand side. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted September 13, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 13, 2016 It makes sense really...bad waves happen and this too will pass. Hold on and hold tight. Lee, I'm sorry you are struggling at the moment, but what coldturkmama says is really true. It is ESPECIALLY true once you start to see some windows because the up and down pattern of recovery kicks in and you notice the downsides so much more deeply. You've had a very difficult time, Lee, and nobody should have to suffer like you (or any of us) are suffering, but don't let this wave convince you that this is "permanent". Why would it be now when you just saw a REAL window? This is simply withdrawal playing it's mental games with you. On a related note, how wonderful that even though you are suffering as you are you take the time to help someone else who is in even greater need. That is such a fantastic attitude. There is a special place in heaven for people like you, Lee. Hope this is a better day for you. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
divalee Posted September 13, 2016 Author Share Posted September 13, 2016 Oh Andy you always make me cry with your posts.....I try to help others but I find it hard and feel so bad because I am a true empath...and love to help people.. but I am so wrapped up in this wave I am forgetting that other people are suffering as much as I am...and I am truly sorry for that. And there is a special place in heaven for people like you - who has the patience, wisdom and insight to see through peoples suffering.... I will do my best and look fear in the face - even if I have to do it for you------make you proud....make myself proud of me..... Stay well my friend and you are always wished the precious things that mean the most to you. Love Lee xxxxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
divalee Posted September 21, 2016 Author Share Posted September 21, 2016 Hello ......I's Me I believe now I have Health Anxiety - going for an MRI October 2nd for peace of mind. I had a CT Scan two years ago with the liquid going through my veins....after that I heard someone mention that it could make my withdrawals worse and may never get better...that stuck with me - even though it isn't probably true. Now I am going for an MRI - and am worried that this may screw up my healing process. I just read today that MRI does not have radiation like xray or CT Scan.... Has anyone else had an MRI - I never had one before - I am very brave when it comes to this sort of thing - it is the diagnosis I worry about. So here I am now with severe health anxiety thinking there is something terribly wrong with me - because even though slight and I mean slight windows most o f the time I am in a wave with deep depression... Thank you for listening and if you have maybe something to say to me. Love, Lee Stay well and be as happy as any one of us is allowed to be xxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus scallywag Posted September 21, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 21, 2016 Some MRIs are done with contrast dye. You may want to find out if it will be used with your upcoming procedure. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to 0.0 mg Aug. 12; details here scallywag's IntroductionOnline spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet Link to comment
AmyK Posted September 21, 2016 Share Posted September 21, 2016 Lee, I have had two MRI's. (No contrast dye in my case.) They were totally harmless. Just an odd feeling lying in a "tunnel" for like ten minutes. But nothing at all to worry about. There are no x-rays, as you said. Hang in there. You WILL feel better. Hugs! Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
divalee Posted September 21, 2016 Author Share Posted September 21, 2016 Thank you AmyK you just don't know what it means to me ....thank you I hope you are doing well - I am so sorry I am not participating and helping other people - If I were at least feeling somewhat better I could participate more....please forgive me for that Stay well Love Lee Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
divalee Posted September 21, 2016 Author Share Posted September 21, 2016 Will the contrast dye give me any problems scallywag....I am so scared. Thank you for responding Love Lee Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted September 21, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 21, 2016 Will the contrast dye give me any problems scallywag....I am so scared. Lee, I just had a CT with contrast 2 weeks ago and it had no effect that I noticed. Relax. You will be fine. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now