divalee Posted September 21, 2016 Author Share Posted September 21, 2016 Yes Okay, I feel better about it all now thank you Andy.. I will let you all know what they diagnosis is - I hope nothing wrong. Love Lee Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
LexAnger Posted September 21, 2016 Share Posted September 21, 2016 Me too, had couple done during my taper. Nothing interfere with WD or anything. Like Amy mentioned, just don't scare yourself by the big machine and try to relax like you are taking a nap in a funny tunnel. They gave me a headphone with nice music on to cover up the noise. Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
divalee Posted September 21, 2016 Author Share Posted September 21, 2016 Thank you Lex...I sure feel better about it all= wont be so scared now. Thank you again, AmyK, Scallywag and Andy... Let you know how it goes. Much love Lee xxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Bruin Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Hi Lee.......Am just stopping by your thread to cheer you on....I do know how hard it is. I have been in the process for about a year and a half . I pretty much cold turkeyed Effexor and am going to go super slow with my remaining meds. Like you I have had periods where I just felt like giving up....but then realised there is no giving up ...one has to just keep on going. As Churchill said " If you are going through hell ...keep going " I have often been convinced that there is something dreadfully wrong medically with me apart from WD. I think that feeling goes with the territory. How is it possible to feel this ill just because of WD....it seems almost inconceivable. Anyhow all the very best with the scan.....try to stay present with the day and not project...I know how hard this is ! However you have had the odd window and that is evidence of healing happening. All of us do recover eventually but damn it is a tough road. Al the very best to you Lee. Anti Depressants for 25 years. Valium between 2006 to 7 tapered off over a month without too bad withdrawals. For last 15 years 150 mg of Effexor and 30 mg of Mirtazapine. Occasional short term benzo use without habituation. March 2015 stopped Effexor after rapid taper. 6 weeks. One month fluoxetine June 2015...stopped CT July 2015. October 2013 to December 2015 Zopiclone 15 mg at night, Dec 2015 to Early March 2016 Lyrica 75 mg at night. Stopped too quickly as adverse side effects. January to May 2016 tapered Zopiclone to 7.5mg Crossed over to Valium and now ..March 28th 2017 Benzo Free. Also on 30 mg Mirtazapine and holding until have finished Benzo taper. IN protracted WD from Effexor. Link to comment
divalee Posted September 22, 2016 Author Share Posted September 22, 2016 Hello Bruin Thank you so much for this - Yes it just seems impossible to feel this sick thinking there HAS to be something else wrong. I have not been feeling well past few days with vomiting, nausea and lightheadedness - I have had this before doesn't last more than a week and a bit - must be a bug or something...One never knows what it is when you are in protracted withdrawals. I just got back from the neurologist and past exam with flying colours. I told him my concern about the MRI - he also reassured me that that MRI does not screw up your brain at all..just takes pictures - nothing to worry about. As I was leaving he said that I didn't need to see him any more unless of course something wrong with MRI - but he said that he doesn't thing there will be anything wrong. I have Health Anxiety and he recognized that. Thank you Bruin - and thank everyone who responded - what a group this is - I am the type who is indeed very strong - but boy this stuff brings the strongest of us to our knees. I hope you are well Bruin - and thank you so much for this. I post here the diagnosis of the MRI. Much Love Lee xxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Bruin Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 So glad to hear that you have not got something additional to worry about Lee ! I relate to the Health Anxiety thing....hard not to when one is presented with such an alarming array of symptoms. Nausea and vomiting is something I have experienced as part of WD but touch wood seemed to have moved beyond it. Hoping you will get some of those windows soon ...they will return ! Love to you Bruin Anti Depressants for 25 years. Valium between 2006 to 7 tapered off over a month without too bad withdrawals. For last 15 years 150 mg of Effexor and 30 mg of Mirtazapine. Occasional short term benzo use without habituation. March 2015 stopped Effexor after rapid taper. 6 weeks. One month fluoxetine June 2015...stopped CT July 2015. October 2013 to December 2015 Zopiclone 15 mg at night, Dec 2015 to Early March 2016 Lyrica 75 mg at night. Stopped too quickly as adverse side effects. January to May 2016 tapered Zopiclone to 7.5mg Crossed over to Valium and now ..March 28th 2017 Benzo Free. Also on 30 mg Mirtazapine and holding until have finished Benzo taper. IN protracted WD from Effexor. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted September 22, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 22, 2016 Lee, Glad your initial appointment went well. I'm sure the MRI will be consistent with that. Hopefully, you will be able to relax a little bit after that as you will have a clean slate from that perspective and a very high degree of comfort that what is going on is, in fact, withdrawal. Keep us posted. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
AliG Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Lee. I hope the MRI will show nothing . I would feel fairly confident in saying that I think it will be clear. These drugs are very powerful and it's very easy to think that there is something else going on. Usually, there is not. I hope that proves to be the case with you as well. Obviously there are no guarantees but of the many here who have had the tests done, there are few if any who have had a negative result that I know of. I hope it goes well. Thinking of you. Let us know. Hugs, Alison Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
divalee Posted September 23, 2016 Author Share Posted September 23, 2016 Hello AliG - Neurologist doesn't think so - but I it is just for my peace of mind - I guess we all at one point or another have Health Anxiety. Thank you for this AliG. Yes I will post here after I have the MRI it is on Oct 2, Stay well and may all of you be has happy as any one of us are allowed to be. Love Lee Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
AliG Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Lee .I guess that you're nervous. I can understand that but hopefully once you get though this you will understand. This is withdrawal. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
divalee Posted September 23, 2016 Author Share Posted September 23, 2016 Hello .........It's me Thank you AliG - I know it is WDs but sometimes because it is day after day after day with very little let up - you just think that it is impossible to be WDs.....but I know it is......it is now 3.4 years - Thank yu again.... I hope you are well ..... Love Lee xxxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Bruin Posted October 1, 2016 Share Posted October 1, 2016 Hi Lee.....Just to say all best wishes for tomorrow and the MRI...... I feel sure that you will be fine. All Very Best Wishes Bruin Anti Depressants for 25 years. Valium between 2006 to 7 tapered off over a month without too bad withdrawals. For last 15 years 150 mg of Effexor and 30 mg of Mirtazapine. Occasional short term benzo use without habituation. March 2015 stopped Effexor after rapid taper. 6 weeks. One month fluoxetine June 2015...stopped CT July 2015. October 2013 to December 2015 Zopiclone 15 mg at night, Dec 2015 to Early March 2016 Lyrica 75 mg at night. Stopped too quickly as adverse side effects. January to May 2016 tapered Zopiclone to 7.5mg Crossed over to Valium and now ..March 28th 2017 Benzo Free. Also on 30 mg Mirtazapine and holding until have finished Benzo taper. IN protracted WD from Effexor. Link to comment
divalee Posted October 2, 2016 Author Share Posted October 2, 2016 Hello Bruin and all I am leaving now for my MRI - so nervous - will let you know when I come back how it went. Thank you Bruin and all for your awesome support Love Lee Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Bruin Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Hi Lee.....Just stopping by to see how you are doing.... Hoping your MRI was alright and that you are ok. All The Very Best Bruin.. Anti Depressants for 25 years. Valium between 2006 to 7 tapered off over a month without too bad withdrawals. For last 15 years 150 mg of Effexor and 30 mg of Mirtazapine. Occasional short term benzo use without habituation. March 2015 stopped Effexor after rapid taper. 6 weeks. One month fluoxetine June 2015...stopped CT July 2015. October 2013 to December 2015 Zopiclone 15 mg at night, Dec 2015 to Early March 2016 Lyrica 75 mg at night. Stopped too quickly as adverse side effects. January to May 2016 tapered Zopiclone to 7.5mg Crossed over to Valium and now ..March 28th 2017 Benzo Free. Also on 30 mg Mirtazapine and holding until have finished Benzo taper. IN protracted WD from Effexor. Link to comment
KT38 Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Hi divalee! How was the MRI? I had an EEG and MRI done at the beginning of withdrawal but they found nothing. I am still very ill 19 months off. I hope you are getting more windows. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
divalee Posted May 16, 2017 Author Share Posted May 16, 2017 I wrote a huge post here maybe this is a sign I should not have written it because It never came thorthrough...... Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
divalee Posted May 16, 2017 Author Share Posted May 16, 2017 maybe I should write it again - but not now it was much too long....I will again though Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted May 16, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 16, 2017 It's been a while, Lee. How are you?I've thought of you often. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
divalee Posted May 16, 2017 Author Share Posted May 16, 2017 Hello ..........It's Me They say that time's supposed to heal yaBut I ain't done much healing I was hoping that when I posted here I would have some great news for you - but unfortunately I don't. All the symptoms I had were quite severe - but now they are even worse than ever - same ones only much more severe... It is 4 years since I stopped Zoloft - and it was the only medication I ever too. So to me I don't think I will ever get better - nothing has changed except it only got worse.... Still no matter how I feel I won't let it stop me - as always. I do everything I am suppose to do - The Bank, the Pet Shop, Grocery shopping at three places - I even take an elderly lady to do her grocery shopping once a week and even sit with her at McDonalds for lunch before we do her shopping - I don't like McDonalds but go with her anyway - I will have a grilled open faced chicken sandwich with no bread - Because I am so ill I thought maybe going gluten free would help. I have failed somewhat in that because I would be gluten free but I love bread too much - if I could keep away from bread then I would be totally gluten free. I do everything crying inside so bad - and when I come home I just cry that is all I can do - I cry every single day all day....but somehow when night comes I feel a bit better - I think maybe because the day Is done....and made it through another day...only to wake up and it starts all over again...... I don't take a thing - nothing...no headache pills, no magnesium or fish oil - I have had total blood tests and my magnesium, b12 and calcium and everything else - is perfectly normal. I am afraid to take anything thinking it will slow down my healing process. My symptoms are and have always been - only much more severe are: Visual disturbances - distortion, blurred vision, everything looks strange, - I am afraid to go blind and yet I wear no glasses, my vision is excellent and yet I feel I can't see -I can see the smallest font on my PC. I feel like I need to shake myself out of a coma or something - I can't explain it. This is one of the worst symptoms I have. Also and this is hard to explain - I feel dizzy inside my head - not when I walk or anything, but I find when I work around I feel everything going blurred especially close work and feel like I have claustrophobia...Once I settle down that feeling subsides.. Migraine headaches - mostly silent migraine with aura - I use to have those about twice a year - now I have them once a month...sometimes a couple of days later I will have Migraine with pain. Hissing noises in my head too. Band around my head - my head never feels clear - Pins and needles face, bridge of nose and around one eye. Feeling that my ears are blocked but they are not - have been to ENT nothing wrong and no sinus problems Night sweats - although those are not 5 times a night now soaking my and the bed...but around twice at night and not soaking the bed or me - sweats but not as severe.....When this happens I wake up in a panic and cry. Waking up in the morning with severe anxiety and crying - lessens as the day goes by. Severe anxiety and panic attacks - and now very bad depression - it is terrible. These were all there all the time - but at least last year the anxiety wasn't too bad and I seemed to be able to function much better even with all these symptoms - but then they got worse and worse and never stop getting worse to the point where I am now. Over a year ago I started losing weight - doctors were worried that I might have something seriously wrong with me....But no - nothing wrong, as far as my health goes I am perfectly healthy. It was caused by the WDs.....I went from 122 lbs to 106 lbs and no matter how much I ate I could never gain it back. But just recently, about two months now I am starting to gain it back - but I have to make sure to eat a lot to keep it there....still at least the scale is moving. Now I have something to tell you - and I wonder if this is the reason I still have protracted WDs....after 4 years . I thought about this for a long time but now I have decided to put it here in case it will help someone else not to do what I did - because you are so sick and vulnerable......please never do this. I was desperate for help and I wont go near a psychiatrist nor psychologist because I worked in a psychiatric hospital for 10 years and I know what goes on in there - I went searching for groups on facebook that were going through side effects from SSRIs and found one that were also helping people that wanted to withdraw from them. I was already 11 months off Zoloft when I joined that group. I was quite popular in that group because I wasn't talking about myself but helping other people and always singing a song at the end of my posts relative to what I was posting.....This person started talking to me on private message and told me that I had more of a problem than just withdrawals - very sensitive and my posts were always so deep. I am a musician, sing Opera and popular songs too - and a true empathy.... and this person found them worrisome...So this person told me that he/she was very highly qualified Therapist and an expert in this field. I was so sick and so vulnerable that I agreed to have professional help from this person. First I was isolated from the group and even my friends on facebook - I was told I had to totally focus on getting better . Once I was totally "groomed" and felt that I could not be without this person - that is when the true colours came out - I wont go in to what happened - because I vowed that I would not retaliate, never get even - because my soul would not allow it. We only dig two graves when we do that - and an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. There is Karma and Karma is a b**** - I don't wish that on this person - but it is out of my hands - the Universe is in charge of that. I eventually told the only person in this whole wide world about this - but it took me 10 months of being alone and frightened before I did... She checked this person out- and this person is not a therapist and not in any type of profession - this person was a total fake. I was 18 months with this person - and walked in the fires of hell - I couldn't leave - to scared to leave - and I was threatened that this person would not help me any more if I did.....Looking back this person never helped me at all - I ended up helping this person with all personal problems - The person I told helped me through this - and is still helping me - but good news Is it is 14 months I am away from this abuser - I made it and I am free of this person at last.....but there are times, because I am no angel that I get so angry that I want this person to go to jail where this person belongs - but I know I could never ever do that - This was done for a reason, everything is done for a reason - and I am a different person and a stronger person in my heart and soul than I ever was.... I could never tell a soul about this - you know why - NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE ME and I will tell you why. And trust me what I am saying here isn't even the tip of the iceberg.. These people will look you straight in the eye then effortlessly and convincingly deny every vile and evil act they have committed against you. If they can make you doubt yourself and your sanity.....Can you imagine the ease with which THEY FOOL THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW YOU.. They will try to destroy your life with lies because theirs can be destroyed with the truth. If I tell you that I am being abused by this person...and you know this person very well, your first reaction is to think that I am lying because the alleged abuser is such a .......nice and great person. THINK AGAIN Superficial charm is on the top criteria for the those people. It is quite likely that the this person will appear nicer, more honest, and more interesting than the person who is being abused. These people aren't loyal to you. They are loyal to their need of you and once their needs change, so does their loyalty. They are serious liars, masters of deception. It is never their fault and always plays the victim. They lie even when its not necessary to lie. These are all emotions that they are incapable of feeling. In their attempt to manufacture superiority they only reveal the pitiful nature of the emptiness that consumes their soul. So because I have been through such a horrible time - trust me I walked through hell - maybe this is why I am still in protracted WDs. my central nervous system is shot...... do you think that Is why- I still think of the horror - but I have been released - and free - and angry and every other emotion you get with this....but I am free - and I don't wish this person any harm - This person is very lucky it is me - because I am just that type...I will not retaliate or get even - even though this person has gotten totally away with it.....It is in the Universe's hands now. And now to tell you this - This person belongs to this group - this person has not posted here since 2012 - but this person never left the group.......and all of you - just love this person - so you see - WHO WOULD BELIEVE ME..... Only one person - the person who has helped me through all this - she has all the proof she can possibly have...and that is all I want at least one person in this world knows AND BELIEVES ME....... So I guess this is why I am still suffering WDs after 4 years and may never get better....who knows... Thank you for listening If happy little bluebirds fly Beyond the rainbow So can......you.......and........I....... Ti voglio bene assai xxxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted May 16, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 16, 2017 Lee, I am so sorry to hear that you are still struggling after so much time has passed. I see some small positives in your summary to date but I'm sure that they pale in comparison to the overwhelming challenges you feel when you look at the entirety of the process. I guess the one thing I would say, however, is that I do not believe this means that you are somehow "intractable" and won't heal. If you look at the story of someone like our very own NZ11, you can see examples of people who see healing over 6 or 7 year time horizon. I do, however, want to address the troubling story you shared. I am not in position nor would I ever want to insert myself into that process. I am saddened to hear how that took place and that you were so badly victimized. You have suffered a "double trauma" -- first from the meds and then from someone who took advantage of you. As a result, your healing has been significantly impacted by what I would describe as the effects of PTSD which, even in the absence of withdrawal, can wreak havoc on the nervous system. I know you said you don't want to see a mental help professional. While I believe that the "right" one would help you in your healing journey, I recognize that (i) it is hard to find the "right" one and (ii) that is contrary to your current wishes. I would strongly suggest that you buy a copy of Bessel Van der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score" as a means of gaining greater insight into the impact trauma has on the body. There are some suggestions for ways to address some of the issues. I hope between that and the passage of time that some of this lifts for you. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
divalee Posted May 16, 2017 Author Share Posted May 16, 2017 Bless you Andy - I am so pleased to hear from you - I just wanted to warn people not to get hooked into something like this - I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy...... I will definitely buy this book - Bessel Van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score - and this person I did confide in is in the Medical field - and she has helped me more than you know - You know Andy - when people have gone through what you have gone through - which she did in different circumstances but abuse just the same - they can walk solidly In your shoes..... Thank you Andy - and I hope you are doing well - Stay well my friend and take good care of yourself Lee (f) xxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted May 16, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 16, 2017 Thanks, Lee. The world is full of people who are only too eager to prey on those that are vulnerable. Whether in the guise of "psuedohealers" or pharmaceutical executives it is all the same -- make a few dollars at the expense of others. It is critical that you believe that there will be healing for you, Lee, as I believe there will. It doesn't always happen on the time frames we like or expect, but your brain is not "damaged." It is just having to work a little harder to reorient. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
divalee Posted May 16, 2017 Author Share Posted May 16, 2017 Andy Yes I know I have to believe that I will be well again - you are such an inspiration and always say the right things to me. I have to have courage, and speranza - I won't give up - I mustn't give up - I come very close to it sometimes - And if we are afraid then do it afraid - and that is what I am doing..... I hope you are well and I will keep you in my prayers Stay well Lee (f) xxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
divalee Posted May 17, 2017 Author Share Posted May 17, 2017 Hello again Does anyone else have visual problems with protracted WDs - as I said I am 4 years off completely from Zoloft - I am always being reassured that my vision problems are from severe anxiety every single day Does anyone else have distorted vision, blurred vision and a feeling that you cant see properly even though your vision is fine. I am so frightened and I don't think I will ever get well - feel so alone - nothing at all to live for - even though I have family - with that terrible trauma I had with this fake therapist - and losing my son to leukemia = I feel hopeless - and these WDs have only gotten worse - to be honest when I look back even last year the WDs were not as bad as this - why are they so bad now - I am desperate - and not the type to come here or any where else to cry for help - it isn't like me.. I help everyone else and no one knows how I feel - but at least I can come here..... Does anyone else have vision problems - my Ophthalmologist cant find anything wrong with my eyes. Thank you and please forgive me - this stuff has gotten me on my knees..... Looking back although I have had in those days all the symptoms I have written about - they are all the same only now much much worse - how can that be..... Thank you again Lee (f) xxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
direstraits Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 Hi,divalee I'm sorry to read all that you've been through and that you continue to suffer so much...it seems so unfair. my eyes have been bad for a long time and it's driving me crazy! it's mainly my left eye that's so blurry..I'm scared it will never go away. I always had great vision and only used reading glasses at times.I guess I should have them checked but don't have insurance right now so... anyway I hope you can get relief from this mess...my heart goes out to you...youre in my thoughts and prayers...xxx went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted May 17, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 17, 2017 Does anyone else have visual problems with protracted WDs - as I said I am 4 years off completely from Zoloft - I am always being reassured that my vision problems are from severe anxiety every single day Does anyone else have distorted vision, blurred vision and a feeling that you cant see properly even though your vision is fine. Lee, I feel so badly that you are suffering. I wish there was some brilliance we at SA had that could ease it for you but the only thing that exists is time. I DO believe it will get better with time. As for the eyes, see the attached link: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6380-vision-symptoms-floaters-snow-blurred-or-dimmed-vision-etc/ Vision symptoms are very common with the meds and in withdrawal. I know people coming off benzos that have similar issues. It is hard to distinguish what is a "vision" issue from what is a "perception" issue. In other words, a lot of what you are describing could be more along the lines of depersonalization/derealization. Things look "off" as opposed to being "not 20/20". I believe that those symptoms are the result of being put in a hypervigilant state from withdrawal so that the amygdala is constantly firing. I think that once things start to normalize somewhat the fear level comes down and the perception improves. You have plenty to live for. Don't ever lose sight of that. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
divalee Posted May 18, 2017 Author Share Posted May 18, 2017 Andy, thank you so much for that link regarding vision problems Helped a lot Thank you for coming here and answering me - if It were not for you .....no one answers me here lol. I thank you from the bottom of my heart - at least I know when I do come here I have Andy that will be here. The other group I belong to on FB there are so many people answering everyone - albeit I never post there, but I did this time only in desperation and there were two people who have distorted vision and about 8 people encouraging me on. I love this group, I have been here for a long time don't get me wrong - and I know there are so many people desperate for answers and replied to...... So thank you Andy for being here for me - Stay well and take good care of you Lee (f) xxxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted May 18, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 18, 2017 Thank you for coming here and answering me - if It were not for you .....no one answers me here lol. I thank you from the bottom of my heart - at least I know when I do come here I have Andy that will be here. My recollection is that AliG has been a regular responder to you as well, Lee, but I'm confident we ALL find your story moving. This whole process is so hard to comprehend -- I understand the feeling that drives one to want to just give up. Just this morning I was looking at the company coffee pot and thinking "this is ridiculous -- I can't even have a cup of coffee because I'm afraid it might send me into anxiety-land." Things I always took for granted. Someday, when I have them back, I will no longer take them for granted. Best to you, Lee. Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
divalee Posted May 18, 2017 Author Share Posted May 18, 2017 Hello Andy Yes I know AliG has been a regular responder - I guess I was hoping more would read what I wrote - I am just being selfish because I don't respond to anyone due to this horrible depression, together with a severe Wave - it is so bad it just came about two months ago so severe and has not let up.....but at least I did have windows and will again. Oh how I can relate how you feel Andy - I am so afraid to take anything at all for fear it will stop my healing process - it is horrible to live like that - I feel for you - I can walk in your shoes very easily. But look we both have plenty to live for, you said so yourself - so we mustn't forget that - I am glad you are able to work Andy - I cannot - I work from home for a dear friend - so I am lucky for that - I even find that hard - but I only work on my own time with no pressure So stay well my friend and take good care of you - we will get there - we have to have courage - and speranza ti voglio bene assai - Lee (f) xxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
direstraits Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 I guess I'm no one...that was pretty ignorant..sorry I wasted my time. think I need to get off here for awhile...it's just making me feel worse. went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
divalee Posted May 18, 2017 Author Share Posted May 18, 2017 Aww Dire please don't feel that way - please explain - are you saying you answered me when I was here many months ago or do you feel no one answers you - OMG I hope I didn't hurt your feelings this is the last thing I want to do. I am so sick and depressed to the point of wanting to give up - I am sorry if I hurt you Direstraits - it was not meant. This wave I have is deadly - trust me.....please respond and tell me what you meant. Love Lee xxxxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
Waiting12 Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 Hi there, i too struggle with the eye/perception issues that you describe. It's hard to describe but I know what you mean. I wonder if it's a Zoloft thing. I had it for a long time last year which lead me to try reinstating which didn't work for me at all. Still have it. I have had a few brief moments of clarity but it comes back again. I don't have any advice but wanted to say you aren't alone. 2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.Drug free 12-16-2016Month 1-20: +5% healing every monthMonth 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific. Link to comment
divalee Posted May 19, 2017 Author Share Posted May 19, 2017 See this is what happens when someone is so depressed and not thinking straight we such horrible WDs and deep depression - Dire - If I hurt you I am very sorry - it wasn't meant And AliG - thank you for your many responses - but I haven't been here for months and months - I am sorry - this whole thing is making me feel worse too. I guess I do will not post for a long while - maybe next time I post I will be in a Window and able to think more clearly..... Ciao Ti voglio bene assai - Love Lee xxxxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
direstraits Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 no worries,lee we're all enduring our own private hell ,I guess.. wishing you well...xo went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
divalee Posted May 19, 2017 Author Share Posted May 19, 2017 Thank you for your response Dire - I am so sick - and just needed so desperately some encouragement and sometimes we just don't think that in the past we did get help from people Like you and AliG and Andy and many others. I am a true empath and wouldn't hurt anyone for the world...but when we suffer beyond reason - we just get so desperate - it took me months to get up the courage to post again because I wanted to be better when I did post but the wave just doesn't let up.. Again I apologise for being so selfish xxx I hope you are doing well - Love Lee xxx When the dog bites When the bee stings When I<m feeling sad I simply remember my favourite things And then I don't ....feel.....so......bad.... xxxx Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
KT38 Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 Oh my goodness you describe the visual disturbances so well. I have the exact same. Sometime I feel like my mind just blanks out and you actually feel like you might be seizing in your brain or in a waking coma. It is sooooooooooooooooooo scary, all of it. If I go to the store and look at cards, just the movement of looking up and down and up and down causes more h$ll. It's like the brain has some sensory thing messed up. Do you get worse before your monthly? I get horrible cerebellum pressure and mental horror but it feels like my brain is drowning and spinning. I am 2 years off SSRIs. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
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