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divalee

divalee: 24 months off Zoloft

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Altostrata

No one can recognize you with your current screen name unless you've told them what it is.

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divalee

ClearDay

 

I completely agree with you.....

 

On a ClearDay

Rise and look around you

And you'll see who you are

 

On a ClearDay

How it will astound you

That the glow of your being

Outshines every Star

 

xxxxx 

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clearday

thanks for your poem -

 

hope you get a window soon -

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divalee

Alto Strata

 

I private messaged you on facebook private message  that is the only place I know how to get in contact with you

 

xxx

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divalee

I just wrote Alto Strata a message here but it didn't come through

 

I just wanted to say I sent you two private messages on face book because that is the only place I know how to get in touch with you. 

 

xxx

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divalee

Alto Strata

 

I have been trying to put this on the board here but it keeps refusing.  

 

I sent you two messages on your private messages on face book cause I don't know how otherwise to get in touch with you

 

xxx

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divalee

I am no longer on the list - cant find my post xxxx

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divalee

Oh I understand now - I have to get use to how stuff is done lol.....just click on page 2 lol.. obtuse I am.

 

xxx

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Altostrata

divalee, read this: How much should I post about myself?

 

If you look around the Introductions topics, you will see that I am very, very busy.

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divalee

Oh I am sorry Alto Strata - it is only because yo asked me to contact you to change my user name....I wont ask again.  I am sorry I didn't know....

 

xxxx

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Altostrata

Thanks for understanding.

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divalee

Hello its me again.  I am beginning to think that maybe this is not withdrawals -  I have not had a window in months - and this torture day after day is unbearable.  I don't know what to think any more -  night sweats, waking up with high anxiety and crying, distorted vision, tight band across my head, pins and needs face especially rt side with pressure bridge of nose as if someone punched me in the face, depression, crying most of the day- and I am 25 months off Zoloft.  I don't know what to believe any more.

 

I am sorry if this post is in the wrong place - should I have started a new topic. 

 

Thank you for listening

 

xxxxx

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LoveandLight

How fast did you taper divalee?

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divalee

on December 3, 2011 my GP and I decided I should go off Zoloft which I was on for 8 years at 150 mgs per day.  Zoloft here only comes in capsule form - 25, 50 and 100 mgs.  So when I was tapering I had to go down 25mgs at a time.  Albeit I stayed on 25mgs for 4 months, then dropped again 25 mgs for another four months a so on.  I was off completely May 17, 2013.  the taper went quite well.  At first it was more physical symptoms like pain in my legs, indigestion, nausea, dizziness, headaches, and mostly all the above but they were mild - and could cope with it. 

 

The leg pain, indigestion, nausea have all gone.  From neck down, I am perfect.  It is the lightheadedness, now visual disturbances, distortion, very high anxiety, crying, sweating at night, mornings are the worse for me....pressure in face as if someone just punched me...band around my head -migraines or silent migraines daily... almost panic attacks but not quite, weight loss - from 121 pounds to now 107 - I do eat well and sleep well only waking up with sweats but go right back to sleep, feelings of hopelessness and wish the world would stop and left me off. 

 

I feel I have lost all my friends - I have not, it is I that keeps away, I am isolating myself.  I do go out though no matter how I feel, I do my housework, go grocery shopping, to the bank, everything we all do every day - but the effort is unbelievable - but I do it...no matter what.  After each trip doing something, I get in my car and cry - but I go on to the next thing to do.  No one knows at all.  I hide it very well. And the ones that do know I have learned not to talk about it - because people mean well but they don't really care or want to hear about your sufferings.  So I never talk about it.

 

It is hell on this earth, it really is....I have faced adversity all my life - because I somehow knew that we have to face a loss of a loved one, loss of a job, divorce, those are life issues we all must face - there is no fast fix  - as so many of us think   -  Doctors push this medication on us too freely.  So I never took anything facing my life .  But when my child was diagnosed with Leukemia, I forgot all about what I believed in and took the Zoloft.  Then the doctor just kept giving it to me and it was 8 years before deciding to go off it.

 

So here I am 25 months off - in the beginning they were not so bad - but starting around the 8 or 9th month off - the symptoms got worse and worse - a few windows, but not many....now since 18 months off I have had no windows and am literally In hell with the symptoms way out of control.  Depression has now set it too.

 

I have read in other forms that at this stage of the game it can get worse before it gets better - but when you have this day after day with no let up - one wonders....

 

No suicidal ideation - just wish sometimes though, that is all.

 

Thank you for listening...xxxxx

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Skylarblue75

Hi diva, I just read thought you thread briefly. I am suffering with all the same symptoms as you, except I can't sleep and have had insomnia for close to 3 years. Never ever had problems with my sleep. Please if you can read my thread. I was on celexa for 10 years and was c/t'd back in November of 2011 by my obgyn during my pregnancy. Withdrawal hit me very hard 9 months off, one month after giving birth. I went on a drug merry go round for 21 months. I'm currently 13 months of my last ingested a/d and 3 1/2 years post c/t. I'm in hell everyday and have 3 kids that need their mom back. You are not alone. I too question if my suffering is not all w/d related. I've been having thyroid, adrenal and reproductive hormone problems, I'm very sensitive to all medications and supplements and developing more sensitivities to foods. I don't post much, because it's the same everyday for me and I'm just done.

I wish you healing and peace.

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divalee

Skylar thank you so much for answering me.  How do I read your thread - oh you mean what you write underneath your post - is that what you mean?  Oh wow I have just read it - you have been to hell and back dear Sky -  so you are off all drugs since Jan 2013 and then January 2014 you took Lexapro - are you still on it or now off completely.  I am truly sorry.

 

I am sorry you are suffering as well - we only understand when walking in the shoes of someone else who is going through this.  I know what you mean about not posting much when it is the same old same old....but you did come to answer me - which is a wonderful, thoughtful thing to do.  Sometimes we are so sick we don't think of the other person who needs answers as well.

 

I will try to help other people too.  Did you have visual disturbances too.  this is one of my biggest symtoms. 

 

Thank you for answering me

xxxxx

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divalee

Altostrata

 

My blood tests for minerals, B12, and everything else on the list - came back perfectly normal. 

 

Do you suggest I take magnesium even though my magnesium level is perfect? 

 

Thank you

xx

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Petunia

Taking extra magnesium can provide a physical calming effect, this can be helpful when dealing with some kinds of withdrawal symptoms. Read through the magnesium topic which Alto posted, and then decide if its something you would like to try. There is very little risk from taking too much because the body excretes what it doesn't use.

 

I personally take magnesium citrate and magnesium glycinate.  I've been in protracted withdrawal for a while, I know how difficult it is to keep going sometimes, especially when you don't know how much longer its going to last.

 

Everything you have written sounds pretty normal for withdrawal.  Have you seen:  What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

Here is the link to our symptoms and self care section, you may find some useful ideas to help manage symptoms as you recover.  Especially read the topics pinned at the top.

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divalee

Thank you Petunia for this -  I will try Magnesium

 

xxxxx

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Mikey1975

Hello its me again. I am beginning to think that maybe this is not withdrawals - I have not had a window in months - and this torture day after day is unbearable. I don't know what to think any more - night sweats, waking up with high anxiety and crying, distorted vision, tight band across my head, pins and needs face especially rt side with pressure bridge of nose as if someone punched me in the face, depression, crying most of the day- and I am 25 months off Zoloft. I don't know what to believe any more.

 

I am sorry if this post is in the wrong place - should I have started a new topic.

 

Thank you for listening

 

xxxxx

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Mikey1975

I think it is def WD your story feels very simular to mine

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divalee

Thank you Mikey - Helps me a lot knowing that others have similar symptoms - cause when one is alone in their thoughts and these symptoms persist day after day, one begins to wonder -  It is so difficult .  How are you doing.

 

This place makes me feel that I am not walking alone -  How are you doing Mikey xxxxx

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Mikey1975

Not very well at all Divalee , i stii cant get round the fact that i was fine for the first year and then the odd symtom appeared but wasnt much untill about 18 months after and then two years after i feel awful from then hardly a window at all , tbh i find it hard to beleive its WD but all the symtoms seem to be there , takecare Divalee thinking of you

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divalee

May I ask what your symptoms are - we seem to be in the same boat....mine are headaches , band around head, lightheadedness, pins and needs in my face, corner of mouth  and pressure bridge of nose as if someone has punched me -  distorted vision in one eye....anxiety all the time worse in morning, cry most of the day....thinking this will never go away

 

They say to do stuff anyway and believe me I do no matter how I feel -  I don't know how I do it - e.g.  every Saturday I take an elderly lady who is 94 and has macular degeneration, shopping for her groceries, and where else she has to go.  Believe me Mikey....what I go through is hell on this earth- yet she has no clue...I hid it.  But when I get in my car to come home I just cry all the way home...

 

I face my fears - but that doesn't seem to work -  strangely enough the anxiety subsides when night time comes - I stop crying - and feel someone of a relief  only for the next day it starts all over again.

 

So look - I am doing it - and so can you and so can all of us - we must -  there is no other option -  we will get through it one day...it will happen - we all have to believe that  ....

 

As Churchill said - when walking through hell - keep walking, just keep walking.

 

If happy little bluebirds fly

Beyond the Rainbow

So can  ....you....and....I.........

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Mikey1975

Divalee my symptoms are left sided headache with pressure around ear and a strange feeling around the eye with aches in arm and one leg and a palpitation internal vibrating feeling inside me that i have had for months 24 7 along with feeling of panic sometimes anger and moods that can change from 1 hour to the next i also get a numbness feeling in my arm and ofter a unusual feeling on my face by my mouth like something is crawling on me , takecare i'm thinking of you

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Mikey1975

I also get the pressure feeling above my nose Divalee

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divalee

Mikey

You and I have similar symptoms - goes to show then that these are WDs -  same happened to me.  I was fairly well tapering and even when I was off completely - but then after a year or so off things just got worse and worse - just like you.  Hold on - and I will too.  There are days when I think it is the end of the world for me  - but I am still here and am still looking fear in the face.

 

Today I took the elderly lady out for her groceries -  I looked at my front door and said - Please let me do this - and I did.  She never knew a thing - it was very difficult but I did it.....fear is not going to win.   To be honest, when I got in my car to finally come home - I just cried - I was strong for too long is all....nothing to be ashamed of. 

 

So stay strong - and I will too

 

xxxxx

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Pugknows

Divalee, I think you are wonderful helping that sweet lady in the midst of feeling so poorly. God is saving you a special place in Heaven. Love, Pug.

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divalee

Aww Pug, don't make me cry, what a wonderful thing to say- How are yu doing....are you doing okay, please let me know

 

xxxxx

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Pugknows

I'm in month 9 of CT hell. Never had a window. Am considering letting my GP put me on an SSRI, but everyone here is suffering so much I just can't pull that trigger yet.

 

I'm alone in all this and frightened. I love all you people so much. You are all I have. God bless you.

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divalee

Dear Pug

You are not alone any more, you have us -  Hang in there with us and think twice about taking any SSRI - It may help at first but I think it only brings us down the path of no return.  Stay with us and just read, read and read -  Moderators have put many links up here for us to read.

 

I am worried about my friend in England now.  Doctor put her on Gabapentin for sciatica pain - I do hope when she tried to go off it there will be no side effects.  Was it the Gabapentin that you stopped CT giving you all these problems?

 

xxxxx

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Mikey1975

How are you doing today Divalee ?

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Pugknows

Yes, Gabapentin got me here.

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NoMeaning25

Im so sorry you are suffering.

No need to wonder if its withdrawal, i am 3 years off and experiencing all your symptoms plus loads more. I have severe visual distortions. Pm me if you like.

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divalee

Hello Mikey

Thank you for asking, and even thinking about me.   I am suffering so much, truly.  It is hell upon this earth, but you know what - I do everything  I have to do - cause I found out - no matter how badly I feel - I am still here - nothing has happened to me.  so with all this suffering I just get on with it - albeit crying most of the day - and I think also that the computer on to itself has helped me a great deal.  I sit here for a long time searching and joining groups other than withdrawals to try to keep my mind off it.

 

It is such a wonderful feeling knowing that I have this group to come too - to get some reassurance and to try to help other people as well.  I am walking in your shoes and you are  walking in mine - I know your suffering - as you know mine.....so we can help each other through this - we must.....Look fear straight in the face - stare at it - and soon it will back off - every time we make it through another day - we have weakened this fear....

 

Please tell me how you are doing.....

 

xxxxx

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