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divalee

divalee: 24 months off Zoloft

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divalee

Hello

Just to say that in three days I will be off Sertraline/Zolofr 2.4 years -  My side effects have gotten worse in the last couple of months.  I think that personal loss of a deeply loved person and the stresses of daily life - can make WD symptoms worse.  CNS just working way over time.  Is this true.

 

Again does anyone suffer from visual disturbances or distorted vision as one of the side effects.

 

I am in deep despair - dealing with WDs and the loss of one I have loved so much.

 

Can anyone just answer me - just say anything at all to me - 

 

Thank you

 

I lost the gladness

That turned in to sadness

When I....lost.......me.....

 

x

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LoveandLight

Aww divalee I am so sorry for you and your loss.

 

Hugs cxx

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SelmaLady

(((divalee)))  So so sorry that you're having such a horrible time of recovery right now.  I do know of others who have had increased symptoms  at the two year mark and even some later.  The CNS is having to reshuffle the system and it seems that at times we can feel that we are getting a bit out of the fray only to be thrown right back into a hard place with no warning at all.  But as many have said here, the brain wants to regain homeostasis and is constantly working on that.  That's it's job.  We have to wade through the waves and windows until that's accomplished and encourage ourselves with the thot that in time we'll see the improvements! 

 

I have horrible visual distortions, divalee.  I see that someone else has visual abnormalities very similar to mine:  snow, blurriness, flat perception, etc.  Of course, I also have a brain that is shrinking spacial perception too.  It's not at all uncommon to have visual disturbances in w/d.  Lots of theories as to why that is, but it's "just" a symptom of a brain whose chemical messaging is out of sync.  lt WILL get better over time.  If you can, try to just let it be for now.  The calmer we can help ourselves to be, the more we let the brain work on the destabilization. 

 

I'm also so sorry that you are grieving a loss.  That makes things so much harder to get through, I know.   In time you will heal from this too.  Can you try to focus on those things that bring comfort to you?  Mine include gardening and my pets and even the animals that here in the woods that I live in.  Maybe you have things that help you to refocus if only for the moment? 

 

I'm praying that you will begin to see some of the recovery that is going on and that you will be comforted for your loss.  We ARE going to get better, we just need to keep on.

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Adagiooo

Hello Divalee,

 

I am so sorry about your loss and about the W/D you're experiencing. I can sense the pain in your post and my heart goes out to you.

 

There is someone on this site who experiences visual distortions. I don't know if they are a side effect of the drugs she is still on or a symptom of withdrawal. Her screen name is SelmaLady and she is a sweet spirited fellow traveler. At one time I experienced visual disturbances after a cold turkey but they went away. Now my vision is just deteriorating.

 

I wish you healing, wholeness and peace of mind. Your deep despair will lift in time. You must believe that. ((((((Hugs))))).

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divalee

Thank you LoveandLight -  Grief is what we pay for Love

xx

 

SelmaLady - Thank you so much for all that you said here. I tolerated well while coming off - it was after I stopped completely that things got worse -  Thank you for telling me about your visual disturbances.  I heard that many people suffer from this but eventually will go away.  Sensitive to light as well - have to wear sunglasses all the time when out.

 

Yes I am an artistic person - sing opera and also popular songs as both my parents were beautiful singers - my dad a tenor and my mum a jazz type singer.  I play guitar and piano.  But I find it hard to do anything right now -  except just make it through the day.  I don't let these symptoms stop me from doing what I have to do though.  I go out to do my shopping - bank, where ever I have to go and do I do it no matter how I feel.  I cannot let fear stop me. 

 

Thank you so much - and all here are in my prayers for all the suffering each and every one of you are going through.

xx

 

Adagiooo

Thank you so much -  We all sense the depthness of each others pain because only those who go through it - knows...

 

If happy little blue birds fly

Beyond the rainbow

So can .......you.......and......I.........

xxx

 

Thank you all of you for answering me and giving me courage and hope - this is a wonderful place to be.

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NoMeaning25

I have extremely severe visual distortions at 3 years off (14/08/2015 3 years free)

 

Trauma and severe stress has a significant impact on recovery. Im in the same situation desperately trying to heal from severe trauma and protracted withdrawal

 

I think if stress is eliminated things will get better. Hold on. You will get better as time goes on

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Wingbatty

Hi divalee-

 

Your comments about losing weight & digestion issues brought this to mind: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/gut-second-brain/

 

I don't know what the answer will be for you, but I have seen a huge connection between digestion & mental well-being in my life. In particular dairy & sugar cause me a lot of problems - as does wheat. I saw you try to be gluten-free so I wanted to tell you, the gluten-free "substitutes" make me feel just as bad as wheat does! I think all the rice flour in particular is NOT good for digestion.

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divalee

Hello  NoMeaning

Thank you for this.  Gives me some hope and courage.  I hope that you are doing well now.

 

Hello WingBatty

 

I agree with you about Gluten free substitutes - I never eat them.  I am not completely gluten free cause I eat bread, else I am.

 

I do not have digestion problems -  but I did lose a great deal of weight due to this withdrawal -  I hope I can gain in back soon.

 

I hope you are doing better 

 

xx

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Purplestars22

Hello Divalee, sorry for your loss you will get through this. It's a great accomplishment being 2.4 years off. You will have better days ahead. I am also in protracted wd and getting awful symptoms. Now it's the time to be gentle and take care of yourself. Best wishes, ps

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divalee

Hello Purplestars

 

Thank you -  yes 2.4 years - never took anything in my whole life - and Zoloft was the only thing I have ever taken.  I faced adversity my whole life -  cause life is that way.  People lose their jobs, divorce, lose a loved one, etc. - but this is life - there are no fast fixes.  I should have known better.  Done now so just have to face these horrible WDs -  and hope some day they will leave.

 

Thank you again.   I hope you are doing well.

 

xx

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divalee

Hello

I am now 27 months off Zoloft - thought it was 28 months - 

 

I am really feeling terrible - things seem to be worse not better -  while tapering I did very well - off completely May 17, 2013 - I was still not bad at all -  bad enough thought it was terrible then - but nothing to what I am going through now.

 

I would say about the 6th or 7th month off completely - things got worse and then by the 18th month things got even worse.  Now since a good 4 months with no let up maybe the occasional slight window but barely -  I have been in this terrible wave - it just seems to go on and on - 

 

Symptoms are worse than ever -

 

Tight band around my head

Lightheadedness

Pins and needles head, face, lips and tongue

Pressure bridge of nose

Headaches

DP

profuse sweating at night so much that my sheets and myself are soaking wet and this can happen three times during the night or more

high anxiety that my blood pressure goes up very high, fluctuates from very high and then seems later in day it comes back down to normal when the anxiety lessens

Health anxiety

Visual distortion

loss of weight from 1 21 lbs to 107 pounds. 

 

All these have gotten so much worse - I am beginning to think this is not WDs anymore but something else wrong with me....

 

I read that it can take 3 to 4 years before on starts feeling better.....

 

My life is on hold - cant entertain any more, leave of absence from work for two years now.  I isolate myself. and cry a lot.

 

Does anyone have any of these symptoms and will it go away eventually.....

 

Thank you x

 

 

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divalee

Please can someone answer me  - I am in a bad way.  Just need some encouragement

 

Thank you

 

xxx

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LoveandLight

So sorry divalee..

 

The member 'iMac' springs to mind. She suffered, I think I remember reading for a few years with very few waves then recovered very quickly.

 

Hold on xx

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SelmaLady

divalee,  You're going get better.  L&L is right about it sometimes taking a long time to see good improvements.  But even tho you can't see any now, your system is working hard on the repair.   I know how hard it is to believe that when things seem to keep getting worse.  Just moment by moment now and in time you will get your life back.  So so sorry that you're suffering so much now.   xoxoxo

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divalee

L L and Selma

 

Thank you so much  I just needed to hear that.  It is so hard, it just seems to get worse and worse and it scares me.  My anxiety is so high now that my blood pressure has gone up = but my GP said not to worry it isn't dangerously high and I notice that when I calm down the pressure goes back to normal

 

I am so scared -  this is just too much suffering truly it is.....xxxxxx

 

thank you again

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divalee

I would just like to know if any of our members have any of the symptoms I have listed above.

 

I get so scared -  No one, not one person should be allowed to suffer this much.....no one.

 

Love

Lee

xxxxx

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PapaBear

Hi Divalee,

Sorry to hear that you are not feeling good. I am still tapering but I had the last days exactly the same symptoms:

 

- Pressure bridge of nose

- Lightheadedness incl. hot flashes

- DP/DR

- Sweating at night

- Pins and needles

 

In addition I had muscle stiffness in my lower legs and forearms. Health anxiety was just the consequence then.

 

So it seems to be kind of normal for people in or after wd :-)

 

I am trying to cope with meditation and progressive muscle relaxation and some light exercices.

 

In geneal I have the feeling that weather changes trigger some of my symptoms.

 

Kind regards,

PB

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Pugknows

((((Diva))))

 

You've been off the drugs for so long, even though you are still suffering, your journey through hell will be over soon.

 

One thing that helps me is to think back about how much worse I used to feel and symptoms that have decreased or disappeared. It gives me hope.

 

You are still healing, which is why you feel bad. I've read many stories of how the third year is the most accelerated part of the healing process. You are so close to turning a corner.

 

Big hugs your way, Pug

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divalee

Thank you PugKnows

 

This has helped me so much your words....please God -  please -  so much suffering....it wasn't this bad last year.  How then can it get so bad...

 

It is better to stop the world so that I can get off.....But thank you for this - at least there is a little bit of hope for me

 

I know the vision problems are from WD  I read a lot about it....but day after day after day

 

Today I had to take a 94 year old woman to the ER  and I didn't it despite all my symptoms =  I do it all the time but then when I come home I just cry and cry.  No one knows because I know how to hide it so well. 

 

The few people who do know, I never mention it much because they just don't understand.  I mean I don't look sick so how could I be...

 

And then there are really good friends - but then it is human nature to at first be with you and support you all they can - but then when you take too long to heal - even they don't come around ......

 

all the 2.3 years I have been off Zoloft - I never suffered as I am right now -  but I take courage in what you have said

 

Thank you

Love,

Lee (f) 

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Nomoreheadmeds

I'm sorry for your loss (divalee) .I do hope your wd symptoms recede soon and you can find peace.

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freespirit

Hi Divalee,

 

I read through your thread a few days ago, but didn't quite manage to post.

 

I'm sorry about your very recent loss. I believe that in itself could right now, be what has destabilized your nervous system and made things worse.

 

My loss happened before I started WD...all holidays and anniversaries since I jumped off have been very difficult....in fact, I'd say each of them resulted in a wave, which sometimes lasted several months. Grief can be very hard on a more sensitive nervous system...it's hard enough without that.

 

I hope that you have a few things that can comfort or soothe, even if only temporarily. I spent a lot of time unable to function much after my wife died. A lot of it was similar to WD, except I did not have as severe physical things then...just unending fatigue, some aches and pains, insomnia.

 

Try to bring in whatever things have helped in the past..and/or be open to trying some new ones...perhaps reading the thread on non-drug ways of coping with symptoms.

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apace41

Divalee,

 

I read this last page of your thread and I wanted to express my condolences on your loss and provide some comfort to you as you go through this protracted hell.

 

All of what you are suffering and feeling is normal for w/d.  All of those symptoms are things that others have had.  27 months is a long time but it isn't necessarily linear.  You could turn the corner and see rapid improvement.

 

I am hoping for you that it will be like that.

 

Hang in there.

 

Andy

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laineyk

Lee, I just stumbled upon your blog. I wanted you to know that although I am still early in my w/d from this garbage and I am on a benzo to top it off...I have all your symptoms and more

 

I lost a total of 55lbs but I had H-pylori and SIBO (google these) left me with IBS and fibromyalgia

 

I keep reading about the sweats....are you in perimenopause or menopause? I am post menopausal (56yrs old) but I still get the sweats sometimes

on me all night. My hubby froze all the time

when I was going through menopause I had the ceiling fan and a separate clip on the headboard fan on me all night. My hubby froze all the time,,,this would be during the winter. In summer I still will have air conditioner on along with my fans

 

 

this may explain the sweating

 

My eyes are a total mess...dry eye so severe I have to put drops in them a dozen xs a day blurred vision and distorted vision

 

I get "Classic" migraines so always fearing the aura

 

feel free to check out my posts I have a very long hx with MR. Sertraline

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divalee

OMG Laineyk  You have all the symptoms I have even the vision problem  -  but I am 2.3 years off and these symptoms have gotten worse - I was much better even last year....But now I have such hope - I am crying.

 

I keep thinking it cannot be withdrawals but it is - It just is.....

 

I truly hope you will not suffer as long as I have - I truly hope no one will ever suffer like this.....But I feel so much better since all of you who have posted here - 

 

I am not in menopause yet   these sweats are more than sweats  my whole bed and I am soaking wet as if I just came out from swimming I do not sweat at all during the day.

 

I just love this group - you are all so encouraging and give us all so much hope.....Thank you so much.

 

 

knowmoreheadmeds

 

Thank you for your kind words -  xxxx  I hope you have found peace in your road of this difficult life

 

Freespirit

I am so sorry for the loss of your wife - I know the pain - who I have lost was my son to Leukemia  I know your pain and I feel it too.....Grief if what we pay for love  xxxx 

Thank you for posting to me  We will help each other - and never let us let go of each others heart .xxxxx

 

Space41

Thank you for giving me so much hope -  and for taking the time to be here with me.

 

Getting to know you

Getting to know all about you

Getting to love you

Hoping that you'll love me

 

One day the world will wake up and realise that - love is all there is and all that is needed.

 

Thank you so much

Love

Lee (f)

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freespirit

Divalee,

 

I don't have to tell you that losing a child is the hardest kind of loss to go through. I'm terribly sorry for this. I know for me, the journey through treatment was devastating too. It took a long time for some of the trauma of that to loosen it's grip. For that first year, a good deal of it played over and over through my mind.

 

I hear you talking about supporting others and keeping your emotions hidden. Do you have anyone or anywhere that you can talk (if you want to) openly about your feelings and what you're going through? In the past, I had several good experiences with counselors at hospice..much better than any of the other therapists I'd seen in my life. They usually also have grief groups at hospice, though I am not much a group person and never participated..but I did facilitate and witnessed that it does help for some people. Some of us though, seem to primarily need to go through it alone. I don't know you, so don't know what might be right for you...I just worry about people having something as support, even to check in with someone at times??

 

I think many people on the board have talked about different stresses or losses making them feel they had gone backwards in wd healing or are being hit by very big waves. Dalsaan wrote this to me when I first signed on: "Emotional distress does exacerbate withdrawal symptoms because they are both being processed with the same nervous system."

 

I hope you can be kind and compassionate with yourself..and not expect too much.

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divalee

Hello Freespirit

 

I agree with you other stressors can exacerbate withdrawal symptoms - I am going through hell right now. My blood pressure is sky high, which I never ever had high blood pressure before. Doc gave me very mild blood pressure medication. I am so frightened to take it - took me three days to get up the courage to take just 8 mgs of the stuff. Last night took the first one.

 

I cant believe WDs can be so deadly. There is no let up..and I am 27 months off Zoloft. Up further you will see all the symptoms I have - how can this be after so long - I am feeling it will never go away.

 

I think Altostrata has had symptoms this long and even longer. But geez how much more can anyone take.

Again my symptoms

 

Symptoms are worse than ever -

 

 

 

Tight band around my head

 

Lightheadedness

 

Pins and needles head, face, lips and tongue

 

Pressure bridge of nose

 

Headaches

 

DP

 

profuse sweating at night so much that my sheets and myself are soaking wet and this can happen three times during the night or more

 

high anxiety that my blood pressure goes up very high, fluctuates from very high and then seems later in day it comes back down to normal when the anxiety lessens

 

Health anxiety

 

Visual distortion

 

loss of weight from 1 21 lbs to 107 pounds.

 

do any of the members have any of these symptons.....

 

I am at the edge trust me...xxxxx

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Nomoreheadmeds

hi divalee ,

Wd's are deadly are you say.If the general public looked at this website they wouldn't be able to give these toxins away.Sounds like your really going through it.

I do hope you feel better soon

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laineyk

I have ALL THAT and some extra but I have only been off just short of 4 months...I pray that you will get relief and SOON...2,5yrs is enough battling this.

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oskcajga

Hello Freespirit

 

I agree with you other stressors can exacerbate withdrawal symptoms - I am going through hell right now. My blood pressure is sky high, which I never ever had high blood pressure before. Doc gave me very mild blood pressure medication. I am so frightened to take it - took me three days to get up the courage to take just 8 mgs of the stuff. Last night took the first one.

 

I cant believe WDs can be so deadly. There is no let up..and I am 27 months off Zoloft. Up further you will see all the symptoms I have - how can this be after so long - I am feeling it will never go away.

 

I think Altostrata has had symptoms this long and even longer. But geez how much more can anyone take.

Again my symptoms

 

Symptoms are worse than ever -

 

 

 

Tight band around my head

 

Lightheadedness

 

Pins and needles head, face, lips and tongue

 

Pressure bridge of nose

 

Headaches

 

DP

 

profuse sweating at night so much that my sheets and myself are soaking wet and this can happen three times during the night or more

 

high anxiety that my blood pressure goes up very high, fluctuates from very high and then seems later in day it comes back down to normal when the anxiety lessens

 

Health anxiety

 

Visual distortion

 

loss of weight from 1 21 lbs to 107 pounds.

 

do any of the members have any of these symptons.....

 

I am at the edge trust me...xxxxx

 

I have a number of those side effects, and it's about 2 years since my last SSRI.  I don't have the excess sweating or weight loss.  If you eat more food you will increase your body mass.  It's just a matter of calories in versus calories out - unless you have intestinal absorption issues you can increase the # of calories you ingest and increase your weight. have you tried this?  eating an extra meal every day, even if it if feels uncomfortable. 100lbs is quite low.

 

Hang in there.

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alex

I am with you divalee.

Hang on.

I will too.

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AmyK

Divalee, I am so sorry for your loss.

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Pugknows

Divalee,

 

I weigh 107, down from 148 last year. I used to weigh 250, had a gastric bypass, lost 100, then withdrawal, lost another 40. Now I can't BUY a pound!

 

I know you've been at this a long time, sweetheart, and I feel for you. I have many of your symptoms. Most of them will drop off this year for you because, for many, this third year is the healer. Just hang in there another few months and you'll see lots of improvements.

 

Hugs, Pug

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divalee

Nomoreheadmeds -  yes you can bet your bottom dollar they would.   Thank you so much for your  support.....really helps a lot.

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divalee

Laineyk  - thank you so much -  support and encouragement is so very important.  Sometimes we are so  frightened and need all we can get.   I hope you are doing better.

 

xxx

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divalee

Oskcajga  I am sorry you have most on my list also... good though no sweating nor weight loss.

 

Thank you - believe me I eat - just cant gain. Doc says when I stop sweating so profusely, I will gain it back.

 

Thank you so much for your encouragement - gives me a great deal of hope.    I hope your symptoms subside.

 

We must all support each other -  this group is wonderful...   I will hang in there -  if you do too  - all of us just hang in here - one day it will happen - just you wait and see.

 

xxx

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divalee

Alex - and I am with you too Buddy....I will hang on -  you hang on too xxx

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