Redmanone Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Well idk what to do, im going crazy here sitting with depression. Idk how i havent blown my head off or swallowed a bottle full of pills yet. Its just so hard and the medication im on isnt working for ****. I feel like dying every day. And i have like little feeling in my penis still. Im going crazy. Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
oskcajga Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Well idk what to do, im going crazy here sitting with depression. Idk how i havent blown my head off or swallowed a bottle full of pills yet. Its just so hard and the medication im on isnt working for ****. I feel like dying every day. And i have like little feeling in my penis still. Im going crazy. Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Oskagja idk what to do. Im so stressed and benzos dont really work for me anymore. Its like im trapped in a mental prison. Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Red, you'll have to wait it out like the rest of us. Only way is through the misery. You can't make it go away, you have to find coping strategies and ways to make time pass more easily while you wait. It will get better, but the only remedy is time. And btw, I'm suicidal too, and I've researched this, and you should know that you won't kill yourself with a bottle full of pills. It's extremely hard to die from overdose of prescription medication no matter the amount. You will become very sick and go to the hospital, the psych ward, where they will keep you probably involuntary, against you will, and will give you more meds and mess you up even more. That's what will happen. Most suicides with pills fail. Don't do it. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
oskcajga Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Oskagja idk what to do. Im so stressed and benzos dont really work for me anymore. Its like im trapped in a mental prison. What does your therapist recommend? Did you find Alto's links informative and helpful? Can you relate to those symptoms? Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 the therapist is full of **** and i dont even think she fuckin believes me that im going through neuroleptic anhedonia/depression. so maybe i wont die by pills, thats fine i have a 38 special that will do the trick. Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Alto, is it possible to recover from this? From ur experience how long does this AP torture last? I had 2 injections 4.5 months ago and im still a mess. Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 25, 2015 Administrator Share Posted July 25, 2015 Maybe you need a different therapist. Are you able to shop around for one that you can communicate with? Well idk what to do, im going crazy here sitting with depression. Idk how i havent blown my head off or swallowed a bottle full of pills yet. Its just so hard and the medication im on isnt working for ****. I feel like dying every day. And i have like little feeling in my penis still. Im going crazy. The point is, you don't sit there -- you go out and find something constructive to do. Get some fresh air, go for a walk at least 1/2 hour per day. Do you like animals? You could volunteer at an animal shelter or walk dogs in your neighborhood. Sitting around dwelling on your injuries is a good way to make yourself depressed, frustrated, and angry. Yes, you can recover -- but you need to do the work, you need to help your nervous system heal. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Yea but this is a chemically induced depression. Like i said, running, walking, even drugs dont help because my receptors are still blocked to some degree. Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
oskcajga Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Yea but this is a chemically induced depression. Like i said, running, walking, even drugs dont help because my receptors are still blocked to some degree. I know that feeling. You're not alone - it got better for me, but it took it's sweet time getting there. I think you'll feel a lot better in 3 months time. Just wait and see how it goes until then. You're young, you'll heal, and be able to live a good life. Don't give up yet, dude - think about how great of a story this is going to make when you're fully recovered. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 25, 2015 Administrator Share Posted July 25, 2015 Just about everyone on this site has a chemically induced depression. Read a few of the other Intro topics. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Did you suffer from antipsychotics too? Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Yea but antipsychotics is a whole other ballpark. Its a chemical BLOCKADE of dopamine and seratonin. Whole different from ADs ive been on ADs too. Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 25, 2015 Administrator Share Posted July 25, 2015 We have many people here who have been on all kinds of cocktails and antipsychotics. Please look around you at the others in the same boat. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Well why havent they been on my thread? I see no hope in recovering. Why must i go through this. Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 25, 2015 Administrator Share Posted July 25, 2015 Because you don't visit them. If you strike up a friendship by posting on someone else's thread, they will visit you. By the way -- are osk, InvisibleU, and blue chopped liver? You have visitors to your thread. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Im sorry alto, im really stressed right now. They are all good to me and care. Im grateful for that. Invisible also has went through the terrors or AP withdrawel. Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Red, I'm also on an AP - Fluanxol, it's really old and strong and a terrible drug, which I tried to cut in half in April with disastrous results and had to reinstate. I am now waiting to "stabilize" so I can start tapering it. I'm also on an AD. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Ive been off my AP for 4 and a half months and the damn thing is still in my system. Blue, is there any hope that i will ever see my old self again? I miss being interested in tv shows and miss my empathy. Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I firmly believe that you will fully recover Red. But it will take some time. You have to make the decision to survive this ordeal and commit to it. It's not your fault that this happened to you but if you want to live, you have to deal with it. You have to accept the fact that life is really going to suck for a while and wait until your brain repairs itself. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 No adderall either? Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I wouldn't take any psych meds if I were you to give my CNS the best possible chance to heal and repair itself. But the final decision is up to you - it's your brain and your nervous system. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 I dont wanna hurt my CNS anymore than the fuckers at the hospital did. I want to FULLY recover from this. Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I know you do, you're just stressed and scared and in pain, which is all understandable and no one will judge you for it. You will get better, you'll see. While you wait for your brain to heal, live as healthy as you possibly can, take excellent care of yourself, accept the symptoms (resistance and fighting only deplete your energy and make you worse) and have patience. Find distractions and don't obsess about the lack of empathy, motivation, emotions and interest. They will come back. In time. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 25, 2015 Administrator Share Posted July 25, 2015 Here's the thing, Redman: Courage is taking action when you're scared. Healing yourself is taking action when you feel like crap. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 I know alto, its just nueroleptic anhedonia/depression is just such a torture. You believe me right? Everyone thinks its all in my head and its not. Its literally the drug in my head. My poor receptors cant recieve dopamine like they should be. It hurts so bad. I love you all no matter what happens to me. Thanks for support . Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Everyone here believes you. We know how damaging these drugs are. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Idk how long this is going to last. Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 No one knows how long their recovery will take. Yet another thing to accept. How old are you Red? I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Im 19 years old. Injected with invega sustenna. Now i have a limp d*ck and no emotions. Been like that ever since ???? Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
oskcajga Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Im 19 years old. Injected with invega sustenna. Now i have a limp d*ck and no emotions. Been like that ever since You'll recover. Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 I know that this looks like an insurmountable obstacle right now, but this will not be your life. You will not lose your life because of this. It will be just a blip, a short episode of nastiness and pain in your life. You are so young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Your body and brain are strong and will heal. Your old self is still there, underneath the medication mess, and it will resurface and you will be yourself again. You have to believe that. I know this is a huge stress for you and you might not be well equipped to deal with this kind of hardship and mess at your age. This is normal. This ordeal might force you to grow up faster. Now is the time to be really smart. No more meds, no more drugs. Stay as healthy as possible. Take care of yourself. Learn coping strategies. Read the forum - there's excellent information here. All of this will get you through these tough times nice, slow and easy. You will be alright. Don't let this break you. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
jammin83 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Hey red, don't feed into it so bad man. I know you are scared everyone in this site is or has been at some point. I know it seems like it will never end but it will. The last week has been really good for me. I thought it would never end but today I've had almost no wd symptoms. It took me almost a year to feel that way but I started feeling better last week a little and I've made a huge improvement since. I went from feeling like I wanted to die to feeling just fine. Once you start making real progress it turns around fast. Don't worry so much you will be fine it just takes time. We will all get better. Some of us have more meds to kick after this man...you're almost home free. No more meds or bs man. Your almost done entirely. I know you're tough we can beat this thing hang in there alright? 2007-2010 - adderall, vyvanse, klonopin, prozac, symbyax, ativan, klonopin, seroquel, gabapentin, lyrica, concerta, lithium, elavil, 2011-2014 - adderall, vyvanse, gabapentin, celexa, cymbalta, intuiv, tegretol, lamictal, risperdal, zyprexa, trazondone, wellbutrin May 2014 - Vyvanse - 70 mg, gabapentin 3200 mg, zyprexa - 20 mg August 2014 - Gabapentin 800 mg, zyprexa 10 mg October 2014 - Attempted to taper off of zyprexa completely - did not succeed, gabapentin 900 mg January 2015 - Zyprexa 5 mg, switched to seroquel @ 100 mg, gabapentin 900 mg Feburary 2015 - Seroquel - 50 mg, gabapentin 900 mg March 2015 - Seroquel - 100 mg, zyprexa 5 mg as needed, gabapentin 900 mg April 2015 - Determined seroquel was useless but remained at 25-50 mg, gabapentin 900 mg May 2015 - Seroquel 50 mg, gabapentin 900 mg, tenex 2mg June 2015 - Seroquel 50 mg, gabapentin 900 mg July 2015 - Seroquel upped to 100 mg to stabilize, gabapentin 900 mg, took olanzapine six times 10 mg, tenex 2mg Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Alright jammin, my doc may wanna put me on some benzos for anxiety. It takes a lot of benzos to "calm me down" since my CNS has been seized by antipsychotics. Idk how to deal with this on my own. Its like everyday is a struggle for me. I feel weak and hopeless right now. Wish this never woulda happened to me. But i did. And now this is who i am until i recover. Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
oskcajga Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Alright jammin, my doc may wanna put me on some benzos for anxiety. It takes a lot of benzos to "calm me down" since my CNS has been seized by antipsychotics. Idk how to deal with this on my own. Its like everyday is a struggle for me. I feel weak and hopeless right now. Wish this never woulda happened to me. But i did. And now this is who i am until i recover. For some reason, I think that might be a bad idea, to say the least. Link to comment
Redmanone Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Because benzos would be harmful to my CNS right now oskajga? Anafranil 100mg -was injected with invega sustenna 234mg then a week later 156mg Link to comment
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