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LookingforPeace: Really Depressed And Looking for Help in My Withdrawal / Restarting Mess


LookingforPeace

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I am really hurting right now. From depression. From medication for depression. From my bad decisions. From my fear for my life.

I suffered  a major depressive episode in 1995 when I was 24. I had a DWI arrest that I had put off facing up to – trying to take it to court and have it dismissed, with court dates constantly getting reset, it just dragged on forever and wore me down. I was also finishing college, working and playing in a band.  I first experienced a feeling of intense regret and wanting desperately to go back in time to correct my mistake. I had experienced this feeling before when I was younger, and it would go on to be a key symptom of my future relapses.  I remember feeling suicidal with regret over getting a tattoo when I was a teenager. In 1995 I was started on 150 mg of Zoloft and 50 mg of Doxepin. The psychiatrist described me as one of the most depressed patients he had ever seen.  My father was diagnosed with major depression in his forties and has been on a long list of medications. His mother also suffered depressive episodes in the 1940s and 50s At the time Zoloft and Doxepin were the meds he was taking, so the psychiatrist prescribed them for me, too. My depression was marked by sleeping excessively, eating sweets  and carbs and generally wanting to disappear or die. Within a few months I was feeling better and went on to graduate in the Spring.  

 

In 1998 I discontinued both meds pretty much cold turkey, as I recall, and started taking St. John’s Wort for a few days. I slipped back into depression and restarted both meds a few weeks later. It was another several months before I felt better.   At that point I stayed on the meds, but gradually tapered on my own, and occasionally with guidance from a psychiatrist. I generally reduced the dose by cutting the pill in half.  Over nearly a decade I went down to 12.5 mg of Zoloft and 20 mg of Doxepin.  A spike of work stress and fear of separation from my family sent me into another major episode.  This time the episode began with insomnia. I restarted both meds at  and it took several months, including some stressful travel and a bout of intestinal illness before I felt better. I stayed on both over the next 6 years. After about 3 years I tapered off the Doxepin by removing powder from the capsules. I went off Doxepin about 3 years ago.  I also tapered back down on the Zoloft going by half a tablet every 6 months or so.  I was finally down to 25mg, which I had been at for years, and in late January I quit cold turkey when my prescription ran out.

 

For the next month or so I felt better than I had in years and slept better as well ( I used to take the Doxepin for sleep and since discontinuing it my sleep had been mostly so so). 

 

About 6 weeks after discontinuing, I had a major work and life stress event. I had two days of no sleep and then went travelling and had another three nights of no sleep. In desperation, I started the Zoloft again at 25mg and began using other supplements for sleep including Valerian and Sleep Well tinctures and Melatonin. 

 

I would also wake up at night several times to urinate, sometimes as much as a half-gallon during the night. My doctor wanted me to go up to 50mg, but the insomnia got worse. I went up to 37mg (1 and a half tablets) and began taking 50mg of Trazadone and would occasionally go up in the dose to 75 when  I was still waking up after a few hours. I discontinued the Trazodone after 2 weeks and tried one week on .5mg of Lorazepam. 

 

I was nervous about taking a benzo, and it didn’t really help with sleep much, so I discontinued that and started working with a psychiatric nurse at the clinic where I receive counseling. I had weaned back to 25 mg of the Zoloft over a week. She had me go off the Zoloft, it had been a month and a half on the back on the Zoloft in all, and I started on Mirtazapine at 7.5 mg which I did for a week, she then wanted me to go up to 15 mg, which I tried for two or three days and then went back to 7.5 mg. This is now the only med I am on at 7.5 mg for the last week and a half.

 

I get some sleep now, but I feel awful. I am as depressed as I have ever been, remorseful, ruminating on the past, unable to work or do much or connect, and I have taken to whittling to keep my mind somewhat calm.

 

I do have a few calm hours of the day. I sleep about 3 hours then I am awake until early morning when I can sleep a couple more sometimes. The nurse suggests I start taking either at Pristiq at 50 mg and stay on the Remeron at 7.5 or start Zoloft again. 

 

I’m looking at weaning off the Remeron altogether. What would the reduction process be? Ten percent weekly? Can I do this by shaving off the tablet? Is there any hope for me? I am still desperately depressed and need a plan to get better and stay alive. Should I restart the Zoloft and Doxepin and have an new tapering plan?

 

I have been tempted to start on new meds in hope that I can plan a more proper tapered withdrawal soon, but I am scared and feeling hopeless about being on them as well as being off of them. I am in a terrible state and having desperate thoughts.  Sorry for this long post, I know my dosing sounds like an absolute mess. I have not had access to healthcare professionals that I have much confidence in other than my therapist.  At this point I just appreciate any help anyone can offer. I love my sons, my wife, my parents and all my family and friends. I have to find a way to get well for them. 

 

Thanks for reading this. 

Edited by Altostrata
added paragraph breaks

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

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My best wishes to you! Someone else will be along with more experience to advise you soon. Good luck.

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Thank you

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

Link to comment

It is good to have a signature somebody will post a link for you it will look something like this as I made this trying to sort where you have been.

 1995 - 150 mg of Zoloft and 50 mg of Doxepin

1998 I discontinued both meds

St. John’s Wort for a few days

 restarted both meds a few weeks later - It was another several months before I felt better

tapered over 10 years to  12.5 mg of Zoloft and 20 mg of Doxepin

episode began with insomnia gastric upset...both are withdrawal symptoms

back up to old dose for this this time? -on both over the next 6 years

tapered of Doxepin about 3 years ago

25mg zoloft? half.. tab 6 months then quit... says you were finally down but I missed any higher dose...? 

I know others have posted while I was typing ..

I stopped and came to see  if a mod had been here yet. 

 

". I get some sleep now, but I feel awful. I am as depressed as I have ever been, remorseful, ruminating on the past, unable to work or do much or connect, and I have taken to whittling to keep my mind somewhat calm.  I do have a few calm hours of the day. I sleep about 3 hours then I am awake until early morning when I can sleep a couple more sometimes. The nurse suggests I start taking either at Pristiq at 50 mg and stay on the Remeron at 7.5 or start Zoloft again.  I’m looking at weaning off the Remeron altogether"

 

A lot of what you have been feeling has been withdrawal over the years and the affects of too fast tapering.  Sadly this takes a toll on your brain/body before you attempt to get off a time of stability is needed.  A taper of 10% is what is recommended with holds in between to regain stability.  I don't know what to suggest to get you to the place of stability but a mod will be along soon to help you out.  I assume you have read something on taper as you know about 10% drops so your reading and that is a good thing.  There is a post on here titled signature it will tell you how to make a signature. That will help the mods sort out your drug history.  After you have done that further reading about what to expect in the wd process may be helpful. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

Link to comment

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

Link to comment

episode began with insomnia gastric upset...both are withdrawal symptoms


back up to old dose for this this time?


I believe I ramped up from 50 but did get up to old dose.


 -on both over the next 6 years


tapered of Doxepin about 3 years ago


25mg zoloft? half.. tab 6 months then quit... says you were finally down but I missed any higher dose...?


I had been at 25 mg for several years having tapered down (by splitting and shaving pills) from 125, . Doctors and an acupuncturist both told me that 25 was a low enough dose that I could just quit at any time. 


 


I do have a long history of depression and depression in my family (father and grandmother), so it is confusing to determine if I am depressed because of coming off the meds or I am just depressed.  Or both, I guess. Since I have been off the Zoloft again I feel slightly more awful. Didn't do withdrawal correctly even for short period of use. 


 


 


 

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

Link to comment

I know and your likely feeling it now along with the start up symptoms of the new drug thing is I am not the mod type expert on such things but one will be along to help you out the one thing I see going in your favor is you can sleep some... that is a start if it is enough or not .. we will let the mods take that on. 

 

if you have been on the same drug for a long time sometimes our bodies just get use to them.. as in tolerance hard to say if that was happening with zoloft or not.. one of he mods will be along soon I am sure and great job with that signature :)

 

If the depression really worsening now ...that is something to think about it is a hard call I know. 

 

There are a lot of things in the depression mix genetics maybe life style.. diet exercise some learned responses to stress... there is always the chance to learn new ways to deal with life.. my motto where there is life there is hope. 

peace

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

Link to comment

I am curious, how long have tapering protocols been around? Previous doctors have just recommended halving tablets. 

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

Link to comment

I am really hurting right now. From depression. From medication for depression. From my bad decisions. From my fear for my life.

 

I know where you're coming from brother, I've been there. By experimentation I've been able to come down from being pegged out on 6 psych meds to taking three at low dose, and I am still tapering but going much slower now. Not every cut was easy, there were times when I thought I was losing my mind before giving in and reinstating a certain drug for a time. They recommend 10% per month generally here, but I have been able (in some cases) to go much faster than that, I've even cold turkeyed a few times.

 

You need to try to forget past mistakes, I know it's hard sometimes but it is essential to be kind to yourself. I got a DUI myself a couple years ago, had to use a breathilizer to drive my truck for 18 months. It was a bummer and really got me down sometimes but I got through it. Your problem will pass too, hang in there.

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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I do have a lot of stress responses and learned behaviors to overcome as well.  My depression manifests as painful ruminations on the past, any and all thoughts are painful and can be triggered by just about any input, ruminations of regret, wanting be somebody else, lack of interest in life and interacting with people, inability to plan, withdrawing, lack of motivation, constant comparing to others and general hopelessness, brain fog and feeling like I am coming out of me skin. Thanks for all the concern and information. 

 

When I had my first depressive episode I slept way too much. Each episode since has been marked by insomnia, probably from the withdrawal problems. 

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

Link to comment

Thanks for the kind words. I find myself longing for previous depressive episodes because I found a way out and the stakes seemed much lower then by comparison. Right now I have financial stress from the collapse of my business as well as difficulty paying our mortgage and the inability to get back on my feet to start working again. I don't have any confidence and can't trust my mind -- that is probably the worst part. I am unable to be much of a father to my sons and even as I am not interacting with them, I am creating new regrets. I have also put a lot of pressure on myself to get well quickly and keep kicking myself for all the mistakes I've made. We  live in an area that is impacted by logging, use of toxic herbicides, and a general feeling of isolation which has created stress. I am avoiding things and people I love and especially avoiding interactions with strangers, work issues and such. I feel mocked by all the things I previously enjoyed and desperately frustrated that I am unable to enjoy them now. 

 

Having been on meds so long, I have a hard time believing I don't need them. I look back at previous times and they all seemed tinged with depression. I have been feeling suicidal over the last several months and that has scared me the most. I feel bound by the love of my family. I am really not certain I can get by without the meds, but using them is so painful and perpetuates the cycle. The inability to sleep is the worst. 

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

Link to comment

I do have a lot of stress responses and learned behaviors to overcome as well.  My depression manifests as painful ruminations on the past, any and all thoughts are painful and can be triggered by just about any input, ruminations of regret, wanting be somebody else, lack of interest in life and interacting with people, inability to plan, withdrawing, lack of motivation, constant comparing to others and general hopelessness, brain fog and feeling like I am coming out of me skin. Thanks for all the concern and information. 

 

When I had my first depressive episode I slept way too much. Each episode since has been marked by insomnia, probably from the withdrawal problems. 

" My depression manifests as painful ruminations on the past, any and all thoughts are painful and can be triggered by just about any input, ruminations of regret, wanting be somebody else, lack of interest in life and interacting with people, inability to plan, withdrawing, lack of motivation, constant comparing to others and general hopelessness, brain fog and feeling like I am coming out of me skin"

 

that sound exactly what one long stage of withdrawal was like for me... interesting isn't it.  

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

Link to comment

I am curious, how long have tapering protocols been around? Previous doctors have just recommended halving tablets. 

I am not exactly sure but recently when I was doing this post I read part of a book in one of the links from Glenmullen and in the book he talks about slow taper off the link to the book in this this link here

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9350-who-figured-out-ads-caused-withdrawal/

 

I can't recall when he wrote it but think it is copied into that thread some place 

peace

 

ps 

The Glenmullen book was one of the first real help I had in understanding what was going on inside me sadly my memory is so bad I should have bought it rather than using the library... I am not sure how much of it is posted at that link but I would advice you read as much of it is they will allow there.. it is good stuff even tho many other books have been written since. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • Administrator

Welcome, LfP.

 

I am sorry you're going through this. My guess is you have withdrawal syndrome even though you're taking mirtazapine.

 

Going on and off drugs and up and down in dosage is wearing on the nervous system. That has added to your problems. Your disrupted sleep pattern is identical to that of withdrawal syndrome, as is your down mood.

 

If I were you, I'd stay on 7.5mg mirtazapine for a good while, perhaps 4 months. As your nervous system stabilizes, your sleep and mood should improve.

 

Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Magnesium at night may help you sleep better. Also see other topics in the Symptoms and Self-Care forum.

 

PS Please add paragraph breaks to your posts. Long blocks of text are difficult to read.
 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi, LfP, you told your story really well.

 

There's no way of knowing now if starting on drugs at 24 was a good idea or not. I did the ruminating, too. It's awful, isn't it?

 

My hunch is that If you weren't in this black hole, the same set of money problems wouldn't devastate you. You might hate it, but you'd be able to deal with it. You'd just do your best like everyone else. Right now that's probably impossible to imagine.

 

"Having been on meds so long, I have a hard time believing I don't need them."

 

This is where antidepressants got you, though. Maybe the changing of drugs and doses didn't help, but the changes you made seemed necessary, I assume. No doctor pretends we can all do well on the drugs. And a lifetime of changing meds which many of us did has never been put to  proper clinical trial.

 

The following is just what I am making up in my head right now:

 

start theory/ I think a lot of us get one good run with a drug. Maybe when our brain finally develops resistance to it, it's a new brain, a post-AD brain. The drugs were not originally developed for these new brains. /end theory

 

You've done TCA and SSRI. Pristiq is an SNRI and might pierce through and lift your mood, but keep in mind the snri drugs are legendarily problematic if you have to or want to get off. Effexor ... ugh. Do google  Pristiq. I do sentences in double quotes like "I can't get off pristiq" "pristiq ruined my life." Sticking to for-profit sites and wikipedia does not give the whole picture.

 

When I turned corners, in case it helps:

1. I was in an awful hell for almost two years after I stopped all psych meds. Morning dread and all-day inability to relax; agitation, I guess. It eventually disappeared in the space of a week. I was describing it one Sunday to my mom while I was feeling it. Then on Thursday I realized I hadn't felt it for a couple of days. --I had started on coconut oil  and butter in my coffee a few weeks before--a fad. That might have done it. Who knows.

 

2. I took Wellbutrin for a month, March of this year. It was very good. But I did get irritable after a few weeks. I was watching for that, and my doc was aware too. I went off it without incident. Three weeks of good mood made a big difference--I was able to re-examine my plans and ended up quitting school (i'm middle aged) which my doc had already suggested and my elderly mom also endorsed.

 

You mentioned thinking about zoloft again. Why didn't you stay on it in March? Was it helpful or bad? That's worth factoring in.

 

Hang in there. Keep your ambitions close to earth. One rule I like is: "Westcost, you're not allowed to think about the future in this mood and you're not going to do anything about it at 7pm (or whatever)  so stop it RIGHT NOW." I'm sure you feel lucky to have a wife and children. Some people get to this site having driven EVERYONE away. Loneliness is a terrible condition.

EDIT: Have you had blood tests done? The urine thing; diabetes mellitus? Or?

2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink.

2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ...

Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.
2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures.

:o 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years.

I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body.

2015: I  began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning.

I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral.

And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. 

I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up.

In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body.   :unsure:

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Thanks for the feedback. I stopped taking it January when my prescription ran out, and I didn't have a doctor to refill it. I had a feeling that I was fine and would just do without. Big Mistake. 

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

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Oh, I started again in March and stopped it again in May due to insmonia and agitation. The therapist and psych nurse felt it was agitating me. 

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Looking for Peace. You have been through a lot. It sounds like the feelings of a depressed mood is a common thread in your family. Mine too. Whether learned behavior or chemical or both it truly sucks. I'm very sorry that you are experiencing this.

 

I also think that all of the med changes have exacerbated the already difficult life stressors that you have and are experiencing. I second what Alto suggested... to stabilize your system and then go slowly from there.

 

Hang in there... RU

Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone

1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox.

b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b]

2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax

November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b

Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax

My mantra " go slow & with the flow "

3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day)

4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day.

10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro.

1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms.

1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. :) 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut.

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I actually took a half tablet of the Zoloft yesterday - before I read the other advice on here. It was only 12.5 mg, but I had terrible insomnia and muscle stiffness in my legs, chest and arms. Couldn't get out of bed until 10 this morning. Kept feeling like I needed to doze off all morning, but I couldn't sleep for more than a few minutes. 

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

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I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Stop by my intro page and see if you can relate to any of the symptoms. I know that reading other people's pages has helped me find the words to describe the hell I am living in, which is actually important for communicating with doctors and loved ones. Hoping you feel much better very soon! 

Diagnosis: Anxiety, Situational Depression 

March 2016: So debilitated that had to leave my home/job/life to move in with my parents. Hopeless. 

July 2015: Reinstated 2.5mg to 5mg Prozac - Got worse so stopped the reinstated Prozac

Middle of February 2015: Prozac 20mg every other day for one week and discontinued on February 18th or 19th 

Beg of February 2015: Stopped Pristiq, continued on 20mg Prozac for 2 weeks 

End of January 2015: Use Prozac to wean off of Pristiq (Added 20mg of Prozac to the 50mg Pristiq - took both for 1 week)

January 2015: Decide to stop Pristiq due to negative side effects 

Beg of November 2014: Switch from Zoloft to Pristiq 50mg

August 2014: Reinstate Zoloft 100mg

March-June 2014: Weaned off of Zoloft 100mg 

January 2012: Begin Zoloft 100mg (6 month period at the end of 2012 where I discontinued the Zoloft - reinstated for situational depression) 

2008-May 2011: Cymbalta and Topamax for Migraines -- May 2011: Weaned off of Cymbalta and Topamax

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Hi, 

 

I am curious to find out if others also have experienced withdrawal symptoms such as insomnia and frequent peeing in the night about 6 weeks after stopping your meds? My wife thought I was diabetic but my blood sugar came back at 98mg after fasting.  I tried getting back on the Zoloft after many days of insomnia and feeling depressed again. I also took sleep meds but still not much sleep. My doctor thought the peeing and insomnia were due to stress, but I am now wondering if these were symptoms of withdrawal? Have others experienced insomnia after 6 weeks of getting off their meds? 

 

Also, how long should I expect to experience insomnia? My wife thinks that by sleeping I should be able to feel better and maybe get out of my depression. I am also making a better effort to eat better and exercise more frequently. 

 

I am on Mirtazipan now for a month, but I feel terrible, it has only been a low dose of 7.5mg. I tried starting the Zoloft again as my nurse practitioner suggested to help me with my depression but it was a disaster. She was hoping with the Mirtazipan that I would sleep better. However, I felt suicidal again after starting the Zoloft, intense anxiety and my wife tells me that I twitched a lot during the night. And as usual, I kept waking up after about two hours of sleep.

 

I now have what seems to be OCD and constantly fidget with my hands. I am often picking up sticks and whittling them down.

 

It would be great to hear from others about how long their insomnia lasted or if it sounds like my insomnia is withdrawal even though it didn't start until 6 weeks after stopping the Zoloft.

 

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Looking,

 

I merged this post with your intro thread because we have one thread per member in the intro forum.   Please bookmark your thread and come back here to add new posts.

 

Insomnia is a very common withdrawal symptom.   However, its difficult to say exactly what is causing any symptoms you have because you have stopped and started a lot of medication over the last few months.   You have a very disturbed nervous system and to me, you are still looking at drugs as your solution rather than your problem.   Throwing anything into the mix at the moment is likely to cause trouble.

 

If I was you, I would stick on 7.5 of Mirtazapine, perhaps take some magnesium and fish oil (starting at low doses and building up if it goes ok) and explore non drug treatments for your insomnia and anxiety.   We have all sorts of information in the symptoms forum that you can access.

 

Sometimes doing nothing is doing something.  I recommend guided meditation, particularly at night.  focus on relaxing your body and mind rather than TRYING to sleep which can cause anxiety.   Take gentle walks in nature, get some sun if possible.  

 

Give your body time to stabalize and then work out a slow and steady taper regime.

 

Dalsaan

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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Thanks for your reply Dalsaan,

 

However, I feel really blah on Mertazipan. I can't imagine being on this for four months. What do you mean by "stable"? If I am feeling calm now but foggy and not suicidal can I start tapering now? Do I really have to wait four months? When you say doing "nothing" do you mean get off Merazipan altogether and just focus on helping my insomnia? My wife is always ecouraging me to get off all the medication. She believes that there is a chance I can pull out of my depression since I did OK off of them for 6 weeks before my insomnia. She feels that it was the lack of sleep and my work that lead me to feel depressed and that if I fix my sleep I will feel better, that maybe  if I get off all the meds I will recover better. 

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

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  • Administrator

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks for your replies. 

 

My concern now is that when I took the Zoloft, 25mg and Mertazpine I may have had a bad reaction. Maybe the SAME I took then, too made things worse.  I felt a lot of pain in my muscles that night so bad that I had my wife massage them. I was suicidal that night and only wanted to die. My wife was going to take me to the emergency room to have me admitted, but when she called the suicide line they recommended we stay home because she thought I would be safe at home with my wife and that it would be better for me to try and rest at home.

 

I don't quite feel right either. It is harder for me to concentrate on things. My biggest concern is that my pupils don't get very big in the dark. They seem to stay either small or slighly medium. Is it possible my brain was compromised? Have others had these symptoms and eventually they go away? Oh, my hands are also very wrestles...I can't stop fidgeting at things. I have to be carving, folding paper, moving things and at night before bed my wife tells me that my hands move to my head, pillow, eye pillow and sheet re-arranging and moving again and again until I finally fall asleep. Although, I still wake up frequently about every two hours and dealing with insomnia --maybe caused by withdrawal from Zoloft which I stopped last January but 25mg to nothing. I didn't know about tapering 10%, then. 

 

I am really worried and am trying to see a neurologist but it won't be for a few weeks. 

 

 

 

Peter Berggin says in his book if the medication is causing akathisia, which my wife thinks I have, I should stop the medication. I am only on 7.5mg of Mertazipine. Should I stay on it until things balance out and then taper or start tapering now? I've only been on it a little over a month. I feel terrible,though. Would it be OK if I stop it all together? I guess that is difficult to determine..

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi,

I've just come out the other side of insomnia issues, well hopefully anyway...  Here's what I tried when I was anxious about not sleeping:

 

On going to bed I did the yoga 'Salute to Inner Calm' and put myself in a good memory - which for me was being with a group of good friends at a local dance class, all happy and smiling and together after a fun dance session.  Imagining myself to be in that place helped get me off the anxious path so I could cope better with the insomnia.

 

I also tried to turn it round by embracing the night a bit - I'd get up and look out at the stars and moon, wander round the house, cuddle the dog, read something (not on screen)... tell myself it was a special place to be in, offering me something new that I probably won't have access to much in my life, so I better make the most of it...  

 

That may or may not be helpful to you, but at least with lots of people's experiences you may hit upon something that works,

You will come through,

Karen.

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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  • Administrator

Yes, it does sound like when you took 12.5mg Zoloft, you had a bad reaction.

 

Going on and off drugs and up and down in dosage is wearing on your nervous system. This can lead to hypersensitivity to drugs, even drugs you took before.

 

When you say you are "blah" on mirtazapine, what exactly do you mean? Do you take it at night? Are you groggy the next day?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I feel zoned out and disassociated. It is difficult for me to connect with others, to converse, and to focus on things. My wife thinks I might feel less depressed if I wasn't on it. We are also worried that I may have some residual stuff going on from the day and night I was on the Zoloft, SAME and Mertaziipine. I had a terrible reaction which I described in my earlier post. And as I also mentioned my pupils aren't dialating normally since then. Has anyone experienced this before? 

 

I know everyone suggests to taper really slowly, like 10% off each time one reduces a dose and the frequency depends on how long you've taken the med. How slow do I need to wean if I decide to do it now? I've only been on Mertazipine for a little over a month. 

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

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Hello,

 

I appreciate your answers. I was wondering, though, what the correct way to post is when I have another question? Do I  just keep replying to my original post? OR should I start a new topic?

 

Now, I have another question. I just couldn't handle staying on the Mirtazipine. I felt zoned out and miserable. It made me more depressed and out of it. In time I would probably have become suicidal, too. I decided to wean off of it since I've only been on it for 6 weeks and at a very low dose of 7.5mg. I cut back to half of that a few days ago and last night I reduced it another half.

 

Peter Breggin in Withdrawal Syndrome also says that if you have akathisia to get off the drug that is causing it. I began to move my hands restlessly on Mirtazipine and it increased after I took the Zoloft with the Mirtazapine and had the bad reaction. I stopped the Zoloft immediately the next day. Now, I don't move them as bad before bed but during the days I am carving, folding, and fiddling with things.My wife tells me that a week ago I was moving my hands constantly even in bed right before sleep. I would fiddle with my pillow, sheets and blow my nose, and then do it all over again and again until I fell asleep.

 

I know it is different for everyone, but is there someone that has taken Remeron and experienced withdrawals when getting off? I think I may have cut back too quickly. I am hot feeling but no fever. I feel a tightness in my chest and it feels difficult to breath. I also can't sleep at all! I doze off and wake up after a short time. Does this sound like withdrawal? If it is, can someone tell me how long it might last? 

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

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  • Administrator

Of course people suffer withdrawal syndrome from mirtazapine. That is why we tell people to taper,

 

We have many, many people here who are tapering mirtazapine.

 

How long were you taking Zoloft this last round? Since you also quit Zoloft, it may unclear where your symptoms are coming from.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I was only on it for one day two weeks ago. I took 25mg. That day felt very anxious, panicky and the night was hell. I was clammy hot, my muscles hurt so much that I begged my wife to massage them. I wanted to die. I didn't sleep at all and the next day went to the emergency room around noon. Vitals were normal. But I felt like I was having a hard time breathing. I didn't take the Zoloft again. Kept taking 7.5 Mirtazapine. Now down to half of 3.75 mg. I don't have a scale. I guess I thought since I only took Mirtazapine for about a month I wouldn't need to reduce it by 10%.

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

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  • Administrator

Going on and off drugs and up and down in dosage is wearing on the nervous system. That has added to your problems.

 

Why are you going off mirtazapine now?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

This is LookingforPeace's wife...I've been with him through all these posts. 

 

He decided to get off of it because he was feeling so terrible. Because he had been on it for a short time he didn't think it would be too hard to get off of it. I tried to encourage him to at least wean off much slower, but he is eager...too eager to get off of it. He has a headache right now and I need to get back to him but I told him I would check posts and reply. 

 

He tried not too take any of it tonight but I am giving him about the same amount as yesterday. He doesn't even want to take this. He has a headache right now. 

 

As we posted earlier. Marshall has been dealing with what looks like akathisia. Peter Berggin says in his book that one should get off the drugs if this is happening. This is another reason that he may have been eager to get off Mirtazipine.

 

I will try and see if we can find a scale tomorrow so we can be more exact on dosage...but it is about half of 3.275 that he is taking.

 

His psychiatric nurse here also told him to go ahead and get off of it and she said that he wouldn't even need to wean. This is another reason he thought it would be OK. She felt it was a small enough dose and he was on it for a short time. 

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

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  • Administrator

Has the mirtazapine helped with sleep?

 

Is this when the "akathisia" started?

I also tapered back down on the Zoloft going by half a tablet every 6 months or so.  I was finally down to 25mg, which I had been at for years, and in late January I quit cold turkey when my prescription ran out.

 

 

If so, my guess is it's Zoloft withdrawal syndrome that's causing the symptoms.

 

If the mirtazapine has helped with sleep, I would stop trying to go off it for the time being.

 

Please read the links I gave you on June 23.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

I don't know if the Mirtazipine is helping with sleep. I still wake up frequently many times just after an hour or two of sleep. I went for a sleep study recently and it appears I have sleep apnea. Will be meeting with the neurologist July 14th to go over results.

 

The akathisia didn't start after stopping Zoloft at 25mg in January. Here is the time line:

 

Zoloft and Doxepin for 18 years. Off Doxepin last year and this year last dose of Zoloft of 25mg in January. 6 weeks later insomnia 2 days, traveled and continued insomnia. Started Zoloft again at 25mg. Got anxious and more difficulty sleeping. Started sleeping meds, too. Tried increasing the Zoloft to 35mg. MD said I should increase my dose to 50mg but my wife and counselor were really worried about my increase in anxiety, panic attacks and continued insomnia. My chest started hurting, too. My wife got more worried. She thought the Zoloft was making things worse and making it more difficult for me to sleep. Then, counselor recommended I switch meds.

 

Started seeing a psychiatric nurse practitioner and she put me on Mirtaziipine. I stopped the Zoloft at 35mg from one day to the next and then started Mertaziipine. It was at this point that I started whittleing a lot. I picked up sticks and pulled out my knife to whittle all the time. I zoned out most of the day but my hands kept whittling. The good thing is that I wasn't as panicky and I did start sleeping a little more but still waking up about every two to three hours. Oh, peeing in the night became frequent back when I started with my irregular sleep six weeks after getting off Zoloft in January.

 

Then after three or four weeks of Mertazipine I slept a little better one night. The day before I went on a long bike ride and that evening played music and played a board game with my sons and cousin. Felt decent the next morning. I thought I should try the Zoloft again to help with my depression. As the day progressed I became more and more anxious and panicky. 

 

This night was terrible. I was sweaty, and my arm and leg muscles hurt really bad. I kept begging my wife for here to massage them. I wanted to die that night. We almost went to the emergency room but the call my wife made to the suicide line encourage her to keep me at home instead of taking me to the ER. 

 

It was the very next day after combining Zoloft with Mirtazipine...oh, and SAME, too, that the carving, tearing, organizing and touching of everything really got bad. My wife tells me that I couldn't stop doing this even right before bed. She said she could tell when I was asleep because I would stop fidgeting with everything. Then the next day I stopped the Zoloft...so, only took it for one day this time. I have less of the fidgeting at night, but still during the day. Oh, my legs were twitching quite a bit that night with the mixing of the meds, too. But not that bad now.

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

Link to comment

Please, we need help. My husband hasn't been able to sleep much and today is delerious. Last time we were in the ER his oxygen level did drop once asleep and he woke up...maybe apnea?

 

He continues to feel like he can't breath at night and wakes up frequently. Should I take him to the ER? Any idea on how long this could last? I read about waves and window...it sounds like everyone's symptoms are different and length of them...I guess my question may be difficult to answer. 

 

But what would they do if I took him to ER? Or if they admitted him? Is it best to just stay home and rest all he can and sweat it out at home?

 

He took the same small dose of Mirtazipine last night as mentioned above. Should he increase it instead? 

 

Thanks,

WifeofLookingforPEace

Had Major depressive episode in 1990’s

Quit Zoloft cold turkey from either 50 or 100 mg and Doxepin cold turkey from 50 mg in 1998 after three years

Tapered on both again over 8 years down to 12.5mg  on Zoloft and 10mg on Doxepin in 2009 then discontinued

Restarted both in 2009. Tapered off Doxepin in 2011 or 12. Tapered to 25mg of Zoloft and quit entirely in January 2015. Felt fine for 6 weeks, although mild despair crept back in,  then I had extreme insomnia for several days.

Restarted Zoloft in March 2015 at 25mg, started to titrate up to 37mg then back down to 25mg over month and a half and stopped

Went on Lorazepam for 2 weeks at 50mg  

Went on Ativan .5mg for 1 week  

Went on 7.5mg Mirtazapine for 1 and a half weeks

Went up to 15mg Mirtazapine for a few days

Went back to 7.5 mg Mirtazapine where I currently am

Contemplating Getting back on Zoloft as depression worsens

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