pug Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Orangecat that is beautifully said! Knaster, stay strong, there is light awaiting us all as we emerge from the drugs and withdrawal. So many others testify to this and confirm that we are healing! 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
Knaster Posted August 15, 2015 Author Share Posted August 15, 2015 Thanks for your concern Orange, Raul and Pug. Wishing you guys all the best!!Like I said, I don’t think the breakup or my lack in dealing with close relations has much to do with the AD withdrawal or any other drugs, and this is probably not the right place for me to discuss that kind of psychological issues in detail.One thing that makes it difficult is that my ability to handle stress is low now due to meds. I am generating massive tons of stress in many parts of my life, when the plan was to reduce stress, take it slow and easy to have energy left for the tapering. I also think that parts of me that the AD have masked are slowly returning, now when I am on a fairly low dose compared to all the previous years. But as always, you can never really know what is cause and effect when the head is spinning..It’s weird how, as you say Orangecat, that even if we seem to have a fairly good life, the nagging feeling that something is missing can still be very present. What does that deficiency consists of and why can’t we just be happy? (Oops, getting very philosophical here ..: )Last night I dreamt about just getting up, take my cats in the car and leave everything! Like the dream the Raul has about a community for healing, outside of the normal world. It is sad that such a thing does not exist IRL.Raul, I think you should talk to your partner about everything! Openness and honesty must be the best way to handle these things. Accept that you’re not as good as you want to be some days. Be the best you can, and if that is not enough, fcuk it. I know that my ex accepted and supported my withdrawal and everything about it. She really understood and it was not WD that was the main cause of the breakup.Strength can take many forms. I try to find it in different places. Hanging out with friends, getting busy with projects, go to work and try to behave normal, not taking a benzo or other drugs as soon as I feel the slightest bit of anxiety creeping up. I believe in the healing of my broken brain/life and I believe in the continuous growing as a person, and that I one day actually will be both med free and happy for real. * 2000: Diagnosed with depression after separation. Venlafaxine 150 mg. * 2001 - 2010: Continued taking Venlafaxine 150 mg out of habit. * 2010 - 2013: Several failed attempts to discontinue, caused anxiety, depression, no sleep, mood swings. * April 2014: New attempt to do a slow and proper taper from 150 mg. * March 2015: Down to 30 mg Venlafaxine. Anxiety is present but mostly manageable. Getting myself addicted to benzos again. * May 2015: Bridging to liquid Fluoxetine during 1 month. Fatigue introduced to the mix. * June 2015: On 12 mg Fluoxetine (3.0 ml liquid, equals 40 mg Venlafaxine) and about 1 mg Diazepam daily. * July 2015: 12 mg Fluoxetine (3.0 ml liquid). Tapering the Diazepam. Fatigue, anxiety mood swings, memory loss. Sleep is good. * August 2015: Off the benzo. Stable on the Fluoxetine. * Current withdrawal status (August 2015): Almost no issues. Minor mood swings and memory loss and bad stomach. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9387-knaster-fight-fight-fight/ Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted August 15, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 15, 2015 A very nice post Knaster! Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Orangecat Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 Here, here!! : ))) Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
raul Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 Very good post knaster, i appreciate it a lot. But i continue thinking if it is possible to create a community for all of us with problems in w/d symptoms. These days i discover that one of my best friends was taking AD for several years for anxiety problems, and NEVER had problems in withdraw it and take it again, it is amazing, good for him, but i couldn't avoid a bit of jealousy (healthy, of course), and then i cried alone at home wondering why others and me with bad luck?. history: 2004-2009: paroxetine 20 mg. may 2009 to december 2009: mirtazapine 30 mg january 2010-july 2010: prozac 20 mg september 2010-december 2011: escitalpram 10 mg and march 2012 to december 2012: escitalopram 15 mg march 2013-16 june 2014: venlafaxine 75 mg: cold turkey 6th september 2014 escitalopram 10 mg tapering it in 1 mg /month until june 2015: tapering made in 6 months but have no respected 10% result: w/d symptoms 20 july 2015 reinstated 5 mg escitalopram and decided when stable to taper only 10%/month. I also take Mg, fish oil, vit C, E and multivitaminic with minerals,. Increase to 6 mg escitalopram on 14th august. Increase to 7 mg on 23th august, with 1 mg klonopin to help sleep. Updose to 10 mg on 28th august ( because of horrible depression and suicidal), and pray i made a good choice. Link to comment
pug Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Knaster, how are things? 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
Knaster Posted August 20, 2015 Author Share Posted August 20, 2015 Thanks for checking in on me Pug.Well, life is so very very weird sometimes... I feel awesome at the moment actually! : ). Lots of personal things happening super fast now! First some bad things, and now very very good things. All within a couple of weeks.This makes me realise how important the life outside the focus on medication and withdrawal is. It's basically common sense, but so difficult to see clearly when you are stuck in the WD-loop, and everything in life circles around symptoms, worry, anxiety, dosage and all that. My best tip today is to try go get out in the world outside the medication and interact with people you like (easier said than done in some cases I know)I have not been taking any Diazepam for one week and I have only very minor withdrawal issues. I continue doing more relaxing audio instead of popping pills. I am on the same dose of Fluoxetine and feeling surprisingly stable. Will hold for a few more weeks before I start tapering from 12mg (liquid Prozac). The fatigue i got from Fluoxetine is almost gone now also.For the first time in years I now truly believe in a both medication free and happy life for myself.Hope you all feel ok, wherever you are in the world, in your relations and in your tapering phases!Love. * 2000: Diagnosed with depression after separation. Venlafaxine 150 mg. * 2001 - 2010: Continued taking Venlafaxine 150 mg out of habit. * 2010 - 2013: Several failed attempts to discontinue, caused anxiety, depression, no sleep, mood swings. * April 2014: New attempt to do a slow and proper taper from 150 mg. * March 2015: Down to 30 mg Venlafaxine. Anxiety is present but mostly manageable. Getting myself addicted to benzos again. * May 2015: Bridging to liquid Fluoxetine during 1 month. Fatigue introduced to the mix. * June 2015: On 12 mg Fluoxetine (3.0 ml liquid, equals 40 mg Venlafaxine) and about 1 mg Diazepam daily. * July 2015: 12 mg Fluoxetine (3.0 ml liquid). Tapering the Diazepam. Fatigue, anxiety mood swings, memory loss. Sleep is good. * August 2015: Off the benzo. Stable on the Fluoxetine. * Current withdrawal status (August 2015): Almost no issues. Minor mood swings and memory loss and bad stomach. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9387-knaster-fight-fight-fight/ Link to comment
raul Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 i am happy you are doing it ok knaster, hope you can be better in the future. Best wishes. history: 2004-2009: paroxetine 20 mg. may 2009 to december 2009: mirtazapine 30 mg january 2010-july 2010: prozac 20 mg september 2010-december 2011: escitalpram 10 mg and march 2012 to december 2012: escitalopram 15 mg march 2013-16 june 2014: venlafaxine 75 mg: cold turkey 6th september 2014 escitalopram 10 mg tapering it in 1 mg /month until june 2015: tapering made in 6 months but have no respected 10% result: w/d symptoms 20 july 2015 reinstated 5 mg escitalopram and decided when stable to taper only 10%/month. I also take Mg, fish oil, vit C, E and multivitaminic with minerals,. Increase to 6 mg escitalopram on 14th august. Increase to 7 mg on 23th august, with 1 mg klonopin to help sleep. Updose to 10 mg on 28th august ( because of horrible depression and suicidal), and pray i made a good choice. Link to comment
pug Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Knaster, How are things going with you? 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment
AliG Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Knaster, Thanks so much for your encouragement on my thread. You will definitely get there to a "medication free" life & be happy. When you survive "withdrawal", you're so grateful to be alive , you won't be depressed anymore. Hugs, Ali. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Knaster Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 Short update: Everything is more than fine. Life have never been better actually! Almost no thoughts on meds the last couple of weeks. Still on the same dosage of Fluoxetine. 3 months on the same dose, no fatigue left, feeling stable. The benzo habit is basically gone as well, only take it infrequently now. Will continue the Fluoxetine tapering, but not sure when the right time is to do it. * 2000: Diagnosed with depression after separation. Venlafaxine 150 mg. * 2001 - 2010: Continued taking Venlafaxine 150 mg out of habit. * 2010 - 2013: Several failed attempts to discontinue, caused anxiety, depression, no sleep, mood swings. * April 2014: New attempt to do a slow and proper taper from 150 mg. * March 2015: Down to 30 mg Venlafaxine. Anxiety is present but mostly manageable. Getting myself addicted to benzos again. * May 2015: Bridging to liquid Fluoxetine during 1 month. Fatigue introduced to the mix. * June 2015: On 12 mg Fluoxetine (3.0 ml liquid, equals 40 mg Venlafaxine) and about 1 mg Diazepam daily. * July 2015: 12 mg Fluoxetine (3.0 ml liquid). Tapering the Diazepam. Fatigue, anxiety mood swings, memory loss. Sleep is good. * August 2015: Off the benzo. Stable on the Fluoxetine. * Current withdrawal status (August 2015): Almost no issues. Minor mood swings and memory loss and bad stomach. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9387-knaster-fight-fight-fight/ Link to comment
Orangecat Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Congrats!! Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
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