Rosie20yearsago Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 (edited) Hi!I was glad to find this forum. It is good to not be incompletely alone in this.i am hoping that this time will be different from all the other times I tried to quit my antidepressants. I started taking antidepressants in 95 after a bad break up, when I was 21, but I had been very unhappy after years of bullying at school and was extremely shy and nervous, so that everything was a big challenge for me. I pushed myself to keep going and get over my shyness and I bought self help books and did CBT by myself because in the first ten years of being medicated in the UK I never once saw a psychiatrist. I got through university, I also briefly took bromazepam to get through my finals because of panic attacks but did not seem to have difficulties coming off, which I did as soon as they were over. I tried several times to come off the antidepressants but never lasted beyond a year, roughly. I cannot remember actual dates. My memory of what has happened when is awful. I think at the first few times I did not taper but the last times I did. I was switched from fluoxetine to citalopram because of some weight gain but it did not make that much difference. I have been coping on them for a very long time but the long term side effects are still nasty: feeling a bit flat, sexual dysfunction, not being able to cry for the last ten years. I was in a very dark place for the earlier years but the last nine or so I have been fine, free of depression. I accepted that I must have a chemical imbalance and that was the reason why I cannot come off them. when I got pregnant I was advised to stop which I did gradually and was fine until my daughter was nine months, then when I stopped being okay, it felt quite sudden, and felt more like an extreme anxiety and irritation, nearly angry, and very impatient, which is something I had not felt before. Very different from the depression symptoms that had returned before. Post natal depressions was not suggested. The symptoms disappeared quickly withdraw resuming meds.During the pregnancy I had seen a psychiatrist, psychologist and councillor; it seems mental care in the Netherlands where I had moved to has better mental care. My husband and I however decided to move to the UK for work reasons after seven years there and the stress and sadness of this prospect sent me into extreme anxiety. My GP increased my citalopram to 40 mg and referred me for mindfulness which I had just started reading about, and I found it to be really helpful with dealing with my emotions. I learned to feel and accept them instead of fighting and running away from them and discovered when I did this that they slowly passed away. They always used to get stuck. After I had improved I reduced back to 20 over 2 months and then to 10 mg over another 2 months roughly, and then I think to 5 for a time but I don't remember. I did not actually discuss this with my GP, just the initial reduction. I just wanted for some reason to start over afresh in the UK. But I realised that the stressful timing was not so well chosen.since stopping, the flatness has gone, I get tearful about anything sad or endearing which I am ok with, but most difficult I developed a permanent anxiety. I awake with racing heart, have to constantly remind myself to keep breathing as I hyperventilate and stop breathing all the time. I am trying to scale down since a week, planning a month off decorating and any kind of really heavy work, because I felt close to burn out, and I meditate and work on the mindfulness throughout the day which I think is the only thing keeping me going. I read the anatomy of an epidemic to motivate me and learned about post withdrawal symptoms which brought me here. In this last week things have felt slightly better, there are moments when the anxiety abates and I even remember what it is like to enjoy life. I think the anxiety is post withdrawal from the citalopram. No GP has ever considered the fact that This might be the reason why I have had to stay on them so long even when my life has been kind of in order again for a long while. Edited June 29, 2015 by Petunia added paragraph breaks for easier reading <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 I have been reading a lot on this site since I found it and realised that although I tried to taper slowly I still did it way too fast. I am wondering now is it too late to try a really small reinstatement, like 1mg? I will get some fish oil and magnesium since that seems to help. <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted June 29, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 29, 2015 Hi Rosie , welcome to the site. Try reading the thread on reinstating here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/ It would not be unusual for you to develop new symptoms/things to deteriorate for as long as 12 months after stopping. It's quite likely that each time you've stopped in the past you've had a delayed withdrawal response , and got sick because of that , rather than because of "your original condition re-emerging". Glad you found your way here , Fresh 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted June 29, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 29, 2015 Hello Rosie and welcome to SA. Thank you for adding your signature. It might work better to add approximate date of when you stopped taking the drug along with a dose. (After a while it will be hard to tell what 6 months ago was You were going down quite fast and 5 mg is still a high dose to jump off so it's not surprise that you still have symptoms. I'm glad you have found the site helpful and I can see you have already read quite a lot here. Do you get any periods when you feel better and when symptoms abate however slightly? Or do you have a feeling that you are gradually deteriorating? I see that you have read that after 6 months the chances that reinstatement will work are a bit slim. But I would personally give 1 mg a try although some people who had bad experience with reinstating (although at high doses) wouldn't. That would largely depend on your assessment of your general state. When I stopped taking my drugs before coming here I definitely felt a great general destabilisation setting is as the time was passing. There is a chance that 1 mg might help and if there is any bad reaction it would be much less than it would be when a doctor puts you on a full dose of something and it will be easy to stop. It's great you have learnt how to deal with your symptoms through mindfulness. What a powerful tool. Waking with morning anxiety is one of the most common symptoms of withdrawal. You might find soem helpful coping strategies here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/33-waking-with-panic-or-anxiety-managing-cortisol-spikes/ You will find a lot of friendly support here. Best, Bubble Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 Hi Fresh and Bubble! Thanks for replying! Yes I did read the post about tapering and reinstating. I wish I had known how important it was before I stopped. I think I will try the 1mg reinstatement. I still have a whole box of citalopram 20mg so I don't need to go back to the doctor. I will try making solutions following the suggestions. I am finding the anxiety very draining, it goes on all day though it is perhaps highest when I wake up and I think overall it has got a bit worse since December, but last week I felt some respite occasionally. I feel unsure actually and a bit fuzzy about how things were then, it was so hectic with moving countries. I had to come clean lately about how I was doing with my husband, and with some family, because I was just functioning and hiding it, something I have done anyway with my symptoms for many years, and that was making it worse. I feel quite scared realising how long these withdrawal symptoms can last, though mine are by far not the worst. I feel better when I am interacting with my kids, or going for walks, and do lots of breathing meditation. Thanks again! It is a great site. <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Mikey1975 Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Hi Rosie my WD was a bit like yours after 12 years on cipramil and sertraline i was ok for the 1 st year after stopping and then the different WD symptoms started creaping in , takecare Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 Hi Mikey, Yes I never knew that tapering should be so slow, and doctors seem to completely ignore this too. How are things going with you? I have just started 1 mg today reinstatement of citalopram . If it goes well perhaps I will write to my GP in the Netherlands so that she might be informed about these long term withdrawal symptoms. Best wishes! <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Mikey1975 Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Hi Rosie like i said iwas on AD for 12 years at that time due to sideeffects i asked the doctor how to comeoff them and he said cut down by half for 2 weeks then everyother day for 2 weeks it seemed to go alright apart from feeling a bit sick at first and a bad memory and weightloss then for the best part of a year i was ok and then symtoms started creeping in , and after this time off sertraline i didnt know about WD and the doctors in the uk dont help at all they just say its the anxiety coming back , somedays are ok and others are veryhard anyway how are you doing ? Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 Hi Mikey, I had a bad memory all the time I was on the citalopram too...the last couple of days mornings and nights have been worse, I wake with my heart pounding and I have trouble getting to sleep. I am anxious throughout the day but it is less the last few days,I get caught up with being with the kids and my body calms down a bit, perhaps also with movement. I feel more anxious when sitting still. My husband asks me what I am anxious about and the answer is basically nothing! Even so I feel glad I am stopping and hopeful. <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Mikey1975 Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Thats how i feel often Rosie nervous for no reason at all one good thing is it is not constant i often feel better in work when im busy trying to relax and in bed is the worst , anyway you takecare Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 It has been ten days now of reinatatement at 1mg. If there is an improvement it is very slight; I am wishing very hard for one. Perhaps the anxiery in the morning is slightly less extreme. Not sure. But no adverse reaction either. So I will carry on; 1mg for a month, then 0.8 for a month, then 0.6.... I do feel disappointed but it is how it is. <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 9, 2015 Administrator Share Posted July 9, 2015 Rosie, it is too early to consider decreasing paroxetine. Since you're seeing a slight improvement, how about increasing the dosage to 2mg? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 Ok, thanks for the advice will try 2 mg. It is citalopram by the way but I guess the advice isthe same. The only thing is I am worried of not having enough tablets because of having to throw away solution after 2 days. Am breaking my 20 mg tablet in 2 then diluting with 10 ml of water. Would freezing in ice cubes be an option? I would imagine so... Then I would not have to throw anything away. I have not seen a GP since I moved here. <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 10, 2015 Administrator Share Posted July 10, 2015 Sorry, your signature doesn't say anything about citalopram, could you update it please? Yes, the approach is the same. You don't have to throw away the liquid after 2 days. You can keep it in the fridge for 7 days. I don't know what freezing would do to it. Citalopram may be available from the pharmacy as a liquid -- for your next prescription. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 Ok thanks, had just read in the reinstatement thread I think about someone keeping the solution for 36 hours which was why I did that. I don't have a next prescription; i had stopped 6 months ago I just had a whole packet left from the Netherlands, just moved to the Uk 6 months ago. So I am not under any GP or other supervision. I don't know if they would help with this now. But hopefully I have enough since I can keep it longer than I thought. Thanks very much for your help. Will correct my signature. <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 Just an update... I do notice an improvement; I am not waking up with a big feeling of panic, just feeling moderately stressed, And I often have moments throughout the day where I feel okay. Yesterday I was feeling a bit down, today okay again. In between the moments of feeling ok, I also have others when I am feel overwhelmed by small things, but it is still much better overall I think, over the last few days, <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 15, 2015 Administrator Share Posted July 15, 2015 Well, that's good, it's an indication the updose is working. Let's give it a week longer and see if that's all you need. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 Thanks! I will keep going and see. I also found the tip for blackout curtains useful. I cover my eyes instead because my husband hates it to be too dark, and this has helped with being able to sleep longer, and perhaps with not waking up in a panic although that could be the reinstatement. I am still using techniques from mindfulness to manage and accept my emotions, and meditation, and sports. It does help. I do sports with others, as then I push myself more! By myself I can succumb to lethargy more... <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted July 18, 2015 Author Share Posted July 18, 2015 Bit of a hard day yesterday, but not really sure how much to do with w/d and how much just me... Since i started ADs when I was 21 and I was a lot of a mess then, socially insecure and unhappy, having a difficult time because of trying to have a night out with people I don't know very well, and feeling panicky and tearful here and there is not really something I am unused to. I felt very anxious all day in anticipation of that evening as well and although I stuck it out for sometime I then crept away without telling anyone so they would not try to get me to stay. Felt bit of a freak being the only one unable to relax and enjoy the party, although could hide mostly my feelings verging on agoraphobia. <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted July 18, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 18, 2015 Being someone who has always had difficulty with anticipating social situations I think that it is great that you followed through and stuck it out as long as you did. While tapering one never fully knows what is "just us" and what is WD but EVERY attempt and subsequent success in say, for example, a challenging social situation is a big win in the tapering column. Good for you. I also think the reinstatement is working.... stick with it!!! RU Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 Thanks Areyouthere! I think it is working too. And the day before I went I actually had a whole day when I felt quite relaxed, it was so nice! I need to work on meeting people, because I moved here at Christmas and have no close friends as of yet, it feels really lonely. I am very glad to have found this forum, it helps not to go through this W/D thing alone, though it is very sad to see how many people are suffering from these drugs and how badly. Since I read about the possibility of tardive w/d my view on ADs and other meds have completely turned around, especially realising that their efficacity is questionable; and their side effects are so serious. I know that I am lucky that my main symptoms are anxiety/ panic so far. How are you doing with your tapers? I hope your symptoms are not too bad! <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted July 19, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 19, 2015 I am very happy to say that my tapering experience has been very positive. I have had many bumps & bruises but am finding that the lower I am in doses the bestir I feel. Life is not perfect and like you I just don't know what is meds and what is just "life" but I am happy most of the time and when I am not I am mostly in control of that. There are things that I do now that get me out of a funk like getting out, exercising, petting the dog, gardening etc. I have few days when I feel as if the WD is in control. On those days I just don't fight it and generally just sleep. It works. Thanks for asking. RU Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 That sounds really positive! And good idea to sleep it off when the W/D is bad. I occasionally do that too if I can manage it, and the kids are at school/nursery. Hope your taper keeps going well! Take care! <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 So the 17th, 18th and 19th I was very stressed and anxious the whole day, but today feels better again:) It was my daughter's first day of holiday, I took her to her swim lesson on my bike; I initially could not find the key and was so stressed I could barely pedal but things went up from there; learnt some french with her and made a papier mache mask. It was so good to be able to do things with her and not think about feeling bad for a while. I am wondering if I should stop drinking completely, the previous week I cut it out for a week and things had been better. I read on the care recommendations also about stopping coffee. I drink one cup a day because I really feel the stress if I drink more. But perhaps that one also makes a big difference. I do love that one cup though! <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted July 20, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 20, 2015 I have fallen in to the drinking trap several times. As a matter of fact , there were stretches of time when it either didn't or I convinced myself that it didn't , affect me. Since then and as I have decreased my doses, I have found that I suffer for days and sometimes it even sets me back weeks before I feel this new and happier normal.... even after having just one drink. Drinking has become a no no for me. I typically feel the urge to drink when the days get shorter ( I live in a northerly climate) in order to lift my mood. It quickly brings me down. Funny how that happens!! It seems that as my mind has become clearer so has my ability to recognize what can disturb my balance and happiness and what works to remedy it. Drinking? Nope. Coffee? Yes. But sleep has never been an issue for me. You might want to re think the drinking and maybe look at the labels on your meds for interactions. Have a great evening. RU PS.. WOOHOO for the positive interactions & activity you've had!!! That is huge, huge stuff . I guess that type of activity is an example of what I meant when I said above ," It seems that as my mind has become clearer so has my ability to recognize what can disturb my balance and happiness and what works to remedy it." Keep a mental note that riding your bike & doing things with your daughter kicked the WD in the a@@ for a bit. You can use that info. for another time when you need it. Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted July 21, 2015 Author Share Posted July 21, 2015 Hi Are you there, Sure on citalopram it says to take care with drink. I am actually a very moderate drinker. In the past I have occasionally got a little drunk once a month or so, kind of to let of steam, but in the last ten years or so, no. I drink a small beer in an evening or two glasses of wine max, and if I have two I feel it is two much. I am don't easily get addicted to things, except these antidepressants because I like how I feel with things in moderation. But still I read the recommendations in the care post and I was wondering anyway whether things would be noticeably better if I had no alcohol at all while I come off the citalopram. With coffee it does not affect my sleeping; but if I notice how jittery I get if I drink more than a cup, so I was wondering whether even one has a subtle effect that I might notice. But I have to reduce that one cup slowly because without it I get a headache! Anyhow must go now for my girl's swim lesson, Take care, and thx for your reply! <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Three days of feeling quite down and lethargic. Did still cycle and take my daughter swimming, but her and her little brother have been arguing non stop and it seems to drain me completely. Did go to capoeira three days ago and my girl too and that was good. Am sleeping like a log, with strange bad dreams. <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted July 25, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 25, 2015 Hi Rosie, I'm sorry that you are having a difficult time of it right now. It is very frustrating to have a very pleasant experience one time doing something and them WHAM, the same occasion ( riding bike, taking your daughter swimming etc.) be overcast by WD. Bad , strange dreams are consistent with WD. So is lethargy. It is good that you can sleep through some of it! Here is some information that you might find useful.... It is about the windows and waves patterns and withdrawal. Hang in there... RU Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted July 28, 2015 Author Share Posted July 28, 2015 Hi RU, Thanks, I looked through the thread this weekend. I had two good days during that time at my aunt and uncle's; I am usually better when surrounded by familly. Now I am down again. Hard to have faith that the off-med me will be happy and free of mental disease when I have not been that person for 30 years ( I was very miserable for the ten years or so before ADs). Other than this potential/fictional person, I can chose between my persona on meds(a bit flat but moods mostly ok, not able to cry for ten years, libido reduced to nearly nothing), to my persona in withdrawal or off meds (nearly constant struggle, anxious or depressed, occasional days then ok, also no libido, unhappy most of the time). It does not feel like a great choice. Sorry to be negative. I also feel guilty all the time, like I am constantly failing everyone, especially my kids for not having energy for them. Just now I am grumpy and snappy with them. <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted July 28, 2015 Author Share Posted July 28, 2015 Feeling better now, sorry for the rant. My bad mood got really stuck which is how depression perhaps worked with me, not being able to move at all. I tried feeling the feeling and 'caring for it' and letting it pass but it was difficult to do with the kids arguing around me. It is a real fear though, not knowing if things will be any better on the other side. Even believing that this is withdrawal and not disease is an act of faith, trusting that I will be better and happier without meds is a greater one. But not allowing myself to find out what things would be like because of the fear of suffering more is not something I want to do, my symptoms are bearable and could be much worse i do realise. I really want to know what is true, whether I suffer from permanent depression and anxiety or if the ADs prolonged it. <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted July 29, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 29, 2015 Hey.. no apologies needed around here. Many of us grew up in situations where feelings were not honored or allowed to be displayed ( WHAT?!! You feel MAD?!!! SAD?!! STOP that!!! Stuff that feeling because, well... I CAN'T HANDLE IT right now!!!) and so , yeah, it's ok to FEEL!!! You said, I really want to know what is true, whether I suffer from permanent depression and anxiety or if the ADs prolonged it.. and I really do get that. I feel the same way and I have no answers for you here. For me, I know the high doses of meds were harming me physically and so I have no choice but to reduce them. Whether or not I will ever get to the person I was , or should have been??? Uh. It doesn't matter. I'll never be that person anyway because I'm OLDER, wiser & changed. So I focus on getting more healthy physically because have to and MENTALLY because I want to. Whether I will ever be HAPPY .... really HAPPY like BIG HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY??? I kinda doubt it. But I'm shooting for CONTENT!!! I was content today and yesterday. I had a string of bitchy days for about a week before that. I can hardly stand myself on those days. I really, really REALLY celebrate my days of contentment by taking advantage of the lift in mood: I smile, I interact when I really don't feel like it much, I don't eat crap food, I walk, I clean, and I think every moment , "I'm content! I'm content...hell..I'm HAPPY!!" . It helps to get over the hump then, on the b**** days when I know better days are ahead. The b**** days, for the most part, have become less frequent and farther apart as I have tapered my meds. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. You're doing great, Rosie. You're getting better. Heal. RU Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Hopefull Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Hi Rosie, If you love coffe, but can't have it, due to alivated feelings of anxiety, try chicory root coffee. Normally it is a blend of Roasted Barley, Rye,Chicory and Malt. It tastes just like Nesscaffe. Caffeine free. I like, ( Nature's Cuppa/Rich Roast). I get it from the local supermarket. It is very common to question your self, what is medication and what is me. I still do this, even though I am feeling better. Once you heal, hopefully the questioning will stop. It is great that you are practicing mindfulness. I find it really helpful to de-clutter my brain from garbage thoughts. As you continue to heal, anxiety should ease. Hang in there, you will find happiness in due course. Time is a healer, even though it feels like it is a lifetime away. Best wishes ,Hopefull. DRUG HISTORY: November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction). January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey). January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering. October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg. September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed. September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised. February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted August 2, 2015 Author Share Posted August 2, 2015 Hi Hopeful, Thanks,will look out for it. I think I tried it once a very long time ago. I am reducing my coffee to half a cup now. I don't notice any difference but will keep reducing till have stopped and see for a while. I seem to be going in between anxiety and depression with the odd good day or half day here and there. Before I reinstated it was mostly anxiety, I think. Is that strange? I try to accept it anyhow for now and just keep going with daily life. How are you doing? <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 I see reading around a few more threads that other people also have experienced this swing between the two. So I guess this is a normal pattern in WD. When I am very anxious I found concentrating on my breathing while picturing a small candle flickering in the darkness deep inside me did help. Even when I am deceiving I could concentrate on just three breaths and it eased things. it did not when I an depressed. I will try to find something else for those times. <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
AliG Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Hi Rosie, Just saying "hi". I've read a bit of your thread, and it sounds like you are going well. Coffee, can be hard to give up , if that is the aim. I have found "Rooibos tea " helpful . It is an African tea, I think & naturally caffeine - free. I was also on the meds a long time. Sorry ,I haven't read your whole thread. How is the "re- instatement" going? Best wishes, Ali. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 Hi Ali, Thanks for stopping by! It is going ok I think. The reinstatement seems to have just taken the edge off the anxiety, I had felt like I was in a panic attack nearly all the time and now it is manageable. I like rooibos, and herbal teas, as well as black teas and green but I have mostly been drinking herbal. So I will be fine without the one morning coffee but I will only permanently give it up if it makes a difference because I love it. I have it with frothy milk and cinnamon:). Now that the anxiety is a little less I can cope with it better. It is the depressive swings that stump me still. I get stuck in them and it takes a while and struggling before I can move on a little. This morning I had a window and it was wonderful. Now I am exhausted though my mood is fine so will have a sleep soon. You were on ADs for about as long as me! I don't know all of the other drugs, just some. How is it going with you? Will visit your thread soon! Take care, Rosie <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
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