Colonial: worsening withdrawal symptoms changing from Paxil CR to liquid suspension

[Colonial]

(.....when I first started sleeping again, I was treated to terror and nightmares...)

 

Yes, I have been having nightmares the past week, towards the mornings, now that I'm sleeping again.

 

Craving a lot of salt and salty foods the past week to 10 days too..

[Roxyrich]

Over the Xmas period, my family and my girlfriend's family and friends , all had really bad colds , and I remember thinking this is gonna kill me.

But nothing ,I was literally been sneezed and coughed on and I caught nothing.

I usually get 3 to 4 colds a year , so I think there's definitely something in that.

I don't know about you, but id rather have normal cortisol levels, and be happy to have a really bad cold.

[Colonial]

(...I don't know about you, but id rather have normal cortisol levels, and be happy to have a really bad cold....)

 

OH, I AGREE!

Just thought that was interesting.  I would have thought your system being out of wack would run your immune system down...

2 full winters illness free...

[Colonial]

I could just cry...

 

10 minutes on the phone with the doctor about how bad I feel and as far as He's concerned I can go ahead and drop either AD anytime I want!

No problem with Him!

 

And after 6 weeks of not being able to sleep..now I can't stay awake... Even though I'm sleeping 8 or 9 hours at night 3 of the past 4 days I had to sleep between 1 and 2 hours between 2 and 4pm...

 

And It's not just napping, it's the quasi:  " I literally can't stay conscious and it's mixed with the sleep paralysis anxiety fraught cortisol issues"

 

BUT IT'S OK, PEOPLE!  

 

Because according to Him, that's neurological, and I can go right ahead and drop the Paxil or the Wellbutrin again...NO PROBLEM

 

And the blood work came back that my 1 epstein barr marker is the same as last time, one a little lower, and one a little higher...

 

So I have no idea how that all plays into almost 9 full weeks of symptoms since Jan. 7th...

 

I could just cry...

[Ali4]

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad, none of us deserve this, all I do is cry all day long, I see my doctor on Wednesday, he will probably tell me the same thing yours told you, or throw more pills in my face. Hoping you feel better soon. Ali.

[SkyBlue]

Huh, that is interesting. 

[Colonial]

(.... I see my doctor on Wednesday, he will probably tell me the same thing yours told you, or throw more pills in my face....)

 

Sorry Ali4,  If there was a pill that would make all this go away..?

I'd be at that pharmacy in 20 minutes...

No..wait... I could could be there in...8 minutes...37 seconds....

 

 

(...Huh, that is interesting....)

 

RIGHT?

I mean, the fact I NEVER had any of these issues BEFORE WD...?

Well, we won't even bring that up...

[Ali4]

I'd be there too, I think they would have a rather long lineup, hoping tommorow is a better day. Ali.

[Colonial]

Had another almost 2 hour long sleep paralysis -like episode with  the the cortisol anxiety yesterday afternoon after being up till 6am yesterday and only sleeping until 11am.  Spent all day with the flu like symptoms again after feeling better for 2 days.   But I just slept almost 10 hours so hopefully I can get through the afternoon without succumbing to the combination of irresistible somnolence plus the sleep paralysis. 

 

The doctor admits that it's probably neurological, but He doesn't know why but I'm pretty sure it's the WD.  I had a few of these episodes during another round of WD, but not this many and not this bad.  I haven't dropped an AD since the end of the year and I've been back on the xanax since 2/22.

 

But all things considered, that is less than a month, and it was my first, what I could considered 2 day "window" in 9 straight weeks.  I probably overdid it on the 2 days I was feeling better and not sleeping saturday night until 6 am was probably too much of a sleep cycle change.

 

Its so hard to know what is overdoing it, what is ok, and when the next wave hits if it just another wave or a combination of the 2.

[SkyBlue]

Hey colonial…. You might want to do some research on adrenal fatigue; that could be what's responsible for the awful cortisol stuff. 

 

Hang in there.

[Colonial]

I thought WD induced cortisol rises were the exact opposite of Adrenal Fatigue?

 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1591-withdrawal-syndrome-vs-adrenal-fatigue/

 

I mean, it "could" be, but if it's anything other than protracted WD, I would go with the chronic "Epstein Barr" being "reactivated" due to the 24/7 stress of the WD...

[Colonial]

I'm trying to figure out what this statement below means...The difference between "enduring post-withdrawal problems" and "protracted withdrawal",  in the sense of how would you know when "protracted WD" ends...and "post WD problems"  begin???

 

it's number 5 on the link under paragraph:    Drugs and peripheral neuropathies

 

5. Enduring post-withdrawal problems need to be distinguished from protracted withdrawal process because they are two phenomena with different causes and different cures.

 

 

 

http://rxisk.org/complex-withdrawal-model/#Case_D_anxiety_anger_fog_tinnitus

[SkyBlue]

Colonial, I've been watching this -- it's really good. A film for and by people who have come off their medications. 

Lots of good stuff there.

 

[Colonial]

Thanks SkyBlue! 

[Colonial]

After 10 weeks of hell, I had 2 pretty good weeks in the end of March.

 

Symptoms started back in the beginning of April in conjunction with my menstrual period which I got last tuesday the 5th

 

All the symptoms getting worse since Sunday the 10th.  Back to having to sleep again in the afternoon after eating a meal yesterday and today,neurological type things too.  Difficulty swallowing. 

 

I didn't get up today until noon, and I'm back to some brain fog, anxiety and all I did was eat a sandwich around 5pm and I was out.  Unable to stay awake after half an hour.  Slept over 2 hours.

 

It's been a week today since I got my period and I'm getting worse instead of better.  Trying not to panic. Symptoms started either the1st or the 2nd.

[Farout]

You got a halfway decent window there!  That's really, really good news.

 

I'm sorry that you're back in the thick of it again now.  I often found that my cycle could kick start another wave.   Sometimes it was before and all through my period or it would start around ovulation and stay until my period finished.  On the odd occasion it would get really entrenched and start a longer wave.  Whichever it s for you, it will get better again,  Hold on to that two-week easing of symptoms.  

[Colonial]

Thanks Farout,

 

Really not doing well right now.

 

Couldn't fall asleep until 6am and I just woke up with what I think is really bad anxiety.  Really weak, nauseous, overwhelmed, Wave of depression.

And I just took my dose of xanax already at noon and I don't even feel like I can get up and walk the dog or talk to anybody outside.

 

Really overwhelmed.

[SkyBlue]

Hi Colonial, 

 

I'm sorry to hear you're not doing well.  As you know, lack of sleep can really knock anyone for a loop -- 

much worse for those of us in withdrawal. It just intensifies everything.

 

Yes it's good (easier said than done) not to panic -- you did say you had two good weeks? That's amazing. 

I'm sure it seems long gone, now, but I do believe that the fact you had those two weeks is a good sign. 

[Colonial]

Hi SkyBlue,

Thanks for stopping by..

 

This happened to me the end of september-beginning of october...

I had a really bad time for  a bit, started to feel better for 2 weeks, and them all I did was get my period the end of September and it brought everything back for 2 or 3 weeks even though I hadn't changed the levels of the meds.

 

Same thing here. Started having symptoms about 4 days before my period, got it last tuesday, and by sunday, after it was over it was all back.  Haven't had this much anxiety in a long time.  Brain fog is back, the having to nap after eating in the afternoon, really bad depression-mood swings upon wakening and some during the day too.  Flu like symptoms all day.

 

And the 6 hours sleep I did have from 6am to 1pm was completely broken by the carpet installers both ripping up and putting down new carpet upstairs...because they couldn't have come monday or tuesday..they had to come today after me being up until 6am...

I kept getting woken up every 15 to 20 minutes.  Which didn't help the anxiety today I think

 

I'm back to being completely overwhelmed with myself.  Just want to die again.

[SkyBlue]

Hi SkyBlue,

 

This happened to me the end of september-beginning of october...

 

I'm back to being completely overwhelmed with myself.  Just want to die again.

 

 

Hi Colonial, 

 

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. 

 

Do you have supports? A safety plan? 

I have an Emergency/911 card in my purse. when I get to a certain point, I need to read it -- it

reminds me of numbers to call (which I actually find really difficult and rarely do, but I'm trying) as

well as the name of a friend of mine who completed suicide: That will not be me.

 

There are also crisis lines -- I believe you are in MA, where the Samaritans is based. I contacted them

once and they are amazing.

 

If you're more tech-y, there is an app called Safety Plan. You can store phone #s and other things in there

for times of crisis.

Come to think of it, I should add these resources to the related thread on this forum.

[Ali4]

Hey colonial,

 

Sorry your not well, I'm in that spot myself, everyday I wake up in the morning, I wish I never did, it is just dreadful. I wish not of us had to endure the physical and mental torture, it's not fair. It will pass and we will see the light, it has to get better and one day we can say we won the battle. Wishing you quick healing. Ali

[Colonial]

Thanks Sky and Ali, I appreciate you stopping  bye...

 

I just don't understand why just getting your period should set you off with symptoms again.

 

Depressive symptoms maybe, but the completely physical ones, I just don't get it.

 

Today  wasn't as bad as yesterday and it was the the first day since sunday that I didn't have to sleep after only being awake for 5 hours.

 

It's just so disconcerting because you can never "plan" a good time for anything.  I can go from being "ok" to being all shaky and having to lay down in 30 minutes.

 

I really don't have a "safety" plan, I either tough it out or I don't.  There's nothing anything can do for me, and the only thing they want to do is ship you off to the hospital and that's the worst place for me to be. The fluorescent lights make me worse and  there's too many people and they can't do anything anyway.

[Ali4]

I understand the hospital thing, that's where they want to throw me right now for a nervous breakdown ???? I just want it too end.

[Colonial]

Well, then you've come to the RIGHT PERSON'S FORUM  ....

 

And it's not that they don't provide some help, but I do best ALONE, or home with my therapy dog...

 

And when you're one of those people whos doctor has already said :  "..I'm afraid to give you a glass of water at this point, everything I do just makes you worse..." , what's the point?

 

What are your symptoms?  I see you up dosed less than a month ago.

[Ali4]

Where do I start, all my symptoms, can't think straight, constantly feel out of it, head is never clear always something, pressure, tingling, headache, like a fog, all I do is cry constantly, dizzy and most recently suicidal ???? that is just a terrible feeling, panic attacks those are something else too ???? I hate myself and show no emotion towards my husband. When I up dosed I immediately felt better, but here we are 2 weeks later and I'm back in what I can only call HELL. I'm 2 steps from a straight jacket. Ali

[Colonial]

After the activation phase of the Wellbutrin literally almost killing me...

It worked really well... for almost exactly 3 months..

And then?

Woke up one day, and it literally stopped working overnight..

And the withdrawal was worse than any benefit it temporarily gave me..  still not completely off it.

 

I see you had some improvement when you reinstated on 2/5/15.  Did that stop working?  Is that why you up dosed again on 3/23?

 

do you have a thread?  and what time zone are you in?

[Ali4]

Yes it stopped working, so I updosed again, now almost a month later and felling sh*tty again, like I'm literally dying slowly is how I feel, it is the worst thing EVER, mountain central time zone, my thread is Ali4.

[Ali4]

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/11260-ali4-reinstating-low-dose-of-celexa/?view=getnewpost

[Ali4]

I think that's how I show you, I'm brain dead.

[Colonial]

OK, Let me go over and read

[Ali4]

Thank you.

[Colonial]

Ok...

 

I see how it is..

 

Now I'm gonna spend all night banging my head against the wall..

 

 

 

[Colonial]

Fell into another  "had to" sleep session from 5 to 7pm.  Even though I had only been up since 11:30am.  This is the 4th out of 5 days.  It's kind of like sleep paralysis but a little different.  . In some ways you're still conscious but you lose the ability to move, almost like you were drugged, until you fall asleep completely.   I know it WD related because I had it for about a week when I was making too many cuts in the Paxil and Wellbutrin over the summer.

 

The problem is, when I wake up, I have such a deep depression, and it's hard to describe, it's centered in the middle of my chest, and it's like a really bad mood swing, but it's the color purple or orange.  So, you know, that's obviously neurological. Which makes me think it's WD Depression and not the "original condition" they always like to blame it on.  

 

At least I'm not smelling and tasting colors and numbers like I was in July.  But it took an hour to subside today, instead of 10 minutes like it did on Monday thru Wends.  So in that way I'm getting worse.

 

Trying to hold off the Suicidal thoughts...

[Ali4]

Sorry not so good day for you, can't say mine was either... hopin for an end soon. Ali

[Colonial]

THANKS ALI4

[Colonial]

I just want to die...