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servadei

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I can't get drugs here...

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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I can't get drugs here...

 

You don't have access to medical care in Ireland?

As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule.

 

Requip - 3/16 ZERO  Total time on 25 years.

 

Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.

BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10)  Total time on 25 years.

 

Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section.  "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin

 

 

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I don't know how it works here. Plus in my country medical care is free

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I don't know how it works here. Plus in my country medical care is free

 

Servadei.. you need to find out how it works there.. can your uncle help? How about organizations that offer help to immigrants?

As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule.

 

Requip - 3/16 ZERO  Total time on 25 years.

 

Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.

BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10)  Total time on 25 years.

 

Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section.  "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin

 

 

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To be honest, I don't think it can get worse than this...as long as I'm in control of my body I might survive

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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And if that drug reinstatement makes me worse I would not know what to do... I would probably have placebo effect as I now have phobia of drugs

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Moderator Emeritus

To be honest, I don't think it can get worse than this...as long as I'm in control of my body I might survive

 

The depression may get worse.  Given what I know, I'd check out all available resources... that's the best kind of reassurance you can give yourself.

As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule.

 

Requip - 3/16 ZERO  Total time on 25 years.

 

Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.

BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10)  Total time on 25 years.

 

Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section.  "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin

 

 

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I'm not depressed. I was very depressed at the beggining. I think my suicidal thoughts are most active during PMS. Currently the only thing I have is DP/DR. I'm even able to manage my panic attacks while going out.

 

Dublin is a city much much bigger than mine and shopping centres with alot of people are dreading but I already went there and didn't go crazy! I think that's a good thing..

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm not depressed. I was very depressed at the beggining. I think my suicidal thoughts are most active during PMS. Currently the only thing I have is DP/DR. I'm even able to manage my panic attacks while going out.

 

 You can have a renewed onslaught of depression 6 to 8 months after termination, this is a very common occurance.  I would follow bubble's suggestion, but it's up to you... you have been given our best advice.  I wish you well going forward.

As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule.

 

Requip - 3/16 ZERO  Total time on 25 years.

 

Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.

BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10)  Total time on 25 years.

 

Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section.  "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin

 

 

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Uh, okay...

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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My uncle said that now that I completely stopped that's it and that i can't be negative. Lol

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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I talked with my dad also and we both agree that we want antidepressants to be part of the past and something I won't take ever again. My dad was also on antidepressants onceonce (paroxetine) but he ad no problem coming off themx except for a bit more irritability and anger.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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I think you are doing the right thing not reinstating, I read in a post that you were playing QuizUp, we can play if you want, i play because really need distractions when I start having self pity, i send u my username in a message in case u feel like playing

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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Thanks...it actually means a lot when somebody agrees with you, especially if that decision has a great impact on your life.

I would love to play! Send it right away :) Oh and I'm a little slow because all of this but I think you're too so that's okay heh

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi servadei,

I just read back through the last month of your posts and wanted to quote from so many of them because the way you describe your experiences of DP/DR is exactly what I have felt.  I kept saying to myself "yes, that's exactly what its like".

 

I had anxiety before ever taking antidepressants, but never experienced anything like the DP/DR caused by withdrawal. You have been given some advice about distracting from it. But for me, that was impossible. Whatever you are trying to do to distract yourself gets perceived through the DP/DR lens.

 

I remember one day trying to walk along the beach, thinking it would help in some way. But as soon as I started walking down the path, towards the wide expanse of sand, with the endless ocean in the distance, it was like my mind suddenly switched into some kind of nightmare mode. Everything coming in through my senses was shadowed by an ominous sense of strangeness. There was no way of getting to a feeling of safety or familiarity through anything around me or from any thought I could think.

 

I decided I needed to try another section of beach, so went in search of a better place to walk. But of course, the problem wasn't the beach, but my nervous system not functioning properly. Eventually I gave up and came home because whatever I tried was making me feel worse, increasing my stress and anxiety.

 

When I first started getting DP/DR, I wasn't here on this site and didn't know what was wrong with me, so I kept trying to live my life as normal, it was very stressful trying to live normally while feeling so 'trippy'. And the more stimulating an environment was, the worse it would feel. I ended up becoming agoraphobic in an attempt to avoid it getting worse, which would happen when I went out. Its natural to want to avoid unpleasant/painful experiences, but understanding what's causing them and knowing that they are not harming us can take some of the anxiety away. It doesn't make them any less unpleasant though.

 

 

My DP/DR has faded over time. Its gone from 100% down to about 10 - 20%.  And I would say its one of the more frightening withdrawal symptoms because it takes away your ability to find comfort and security in the old, normal ways. Friends and family, who used to provide feelings of comfort and safety, now seem like strangers. Activities which used to bring pleasure and satisfaction, now cause unpleasant sensations and strange thoughts. You can't even turn to your own familiar ideas, beliefs and values, because you are suddenly a stranger to yourself and can't even remember who you are any more.

 

If someone hasn't experienced the reality of DP/DR, its impossible to imagine, or to be able to provide any meaningful suggestions. Its just something you learn to endure and get through. Its possible to minimize it by limiting activities which make it worse, but sometimes that's not possible.

 

There's a possibility that reinstatement would help, but no guarantee, you have to make the decision which is going to work best for you.

 

Currently the only thing I have is DP/DR. I'm even able to manage my panic attacks while going out.

 

If this is the only symptom you have, I would say keep going the way you are. Its going to go away eventually over time and the best you can do is learn how to deal with it, avoiding things which make it worse if you don't want to experience it. Maybe its possible to get used to feeling this way, but I never could and still don't like the little bit I'm still having now.

 

If it helps to post on the DP/DR forum, keep posting there, they seem like a nice bunch of people, I was going to give you the link, but see that you already found it  :) ...and do keep posting here to let us know how you are doing.

 

Petunia.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Petunia. You just deacribed it word by word. I really felt like I was the only one... I had the same situation with park like you had with the beach. Yesterday I went running and I was like 'Oh it's really nice here, with the river and all' and then that suddenly turned into that nightmare mode you're describing.

But i keep telling myself that world didn't change, even I didn't change. I'm just a person living with horrible symptoms that will pass one day...

 

 

And yes..this is the worse

"And I would say its one of the more frightening withdrawal symptoms because it takes away your ability to find comfort and security in the old, normal ways. Friends and family, who used to provide feelings of comfort and safety, now seem like strangers. Activities which used to bring pleasure and satisfaction, now cause unpleasant sensations and strange thoughts. You can't even turn to your own familiar ideas, beliefs and values, because you are suddenly a stranger to yourself and can't even remember who you are any more."

 

 

I know DP/DR can't hurt me and I'm in no position where I can't go out so I keep pushing myself everyday. Dublin is very stimulating for me as I never lived in such a big town but I have no other choice.

 

I don't think it's possible to get used to DP/DR as it's not natural but it's possible to accept it and stop having 'What if' thoughts.

 

Thank you Petunia, your post made me feel a bit better (and trust me that's a lot when your in DP/DR). :)

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Uh, I really shouldn't spend my time here. The more stuff I read the more I see only a few people managed to heal. Others reinstate and never actually get off ad's and some are just shadows of their former selves. :(

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Servadei, you shouldn't bother yourself with all that stuff, because everyone is different, you don't know the whole stories of people on the forum, you don't know how long they've been on these drugs and what was their life situation. You were on AD's only for a year and people recover even after many years of use so I'm pretty sure you'll be well, just give it some time and don't listen to all neuroemotions in your head telling you that you won't heal, they're lying. Be patient and you'll be alright :)

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Okay... You're right. It's only been 2 months. Patience is the key. But I wish I knew the future to see if I'm going to be okay.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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You can't predict the future so the only thing you can do is surviving and hoping for the best. Every time I think about ending it all, just about every day I think that if I will be dead I won't have a chance to see the future and maybe be happy and alive some day again. And sometimes I'm just curious what human body can do and how neuroplasticity works. I'm also 2 months drug free and I can see some improvements so I think there's hope for everyone. Give it time and in the meantime try not to overstimulate yourself, if you drink coffee, try drinking less, if you smoke try nictoine gums or patches, try not to drink too much alcohol and stay away from drugs xD Gentle exercise, good diet, that's what I'm trying to do and it helps, take care :)

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Coffee bothered me always, it was a trigger for panic attacks. Cigarettes make me puke and I get drunk from a glass of beer. Drugs-I'm not crazy to give my brain anything anymore...

I'm doing that, exercise and diet, but it doesn't help..

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Just be consistent with it and I'm sure you will get benefits soon. Also distract yourself from distorted reality with movies, funny tv shows, computer games

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That doesn't work especially.. In fact they make it worse. Seeing people on movie being 'normal' is so weird for me.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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I watch a lot of stupid crap on youtube, some comedy channels and stuff, if you can't sympathize with movies, watch some cartoons or anime, if you can't focus on complicated games, play some browser games

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I wish I had time.. I have to look for a job

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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LoveandLight

If you can work, this is huge!

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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I can't but I have to.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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manymoretodays

When I first got here at SA......someone told me to just take it easy this summer and I heeded that advice.  If at all possible try and just take it easy for a few months anyway.

 

Can you make do with just something/anything and very part time?

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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You can also try lol (league of legends), i have been playing for a while and i think its the most adicting game that i have played, its very popular now

its free to play too

it helps me forget about everything when I get frustrated about the apathy that prozac has caused to me

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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many, I really wish I could... If it's going to be my first job it might be part time..

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Theon, I can't because I don't own a laptop

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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I was wondering if DP/DR are responses to protect us...why don't they go away...

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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They're exactly what you think, its a brain response to anxiety or fear. Your cortisol and andrenaline in WD are high and thats one of the causes of DP/DR. But it will pass, I already feel better and its been only 2 months off meds

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I'm two months off and I feel worse. Im okay now, but this is not life...

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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if I were you I'd give reinstatement achance before it's too late and you could go on suffering for a very long time.

 

I'm almost 16 mos. off and still suffering a lot because I waited too long to reinstate..please think about this ..good luck x

went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct  back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.

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LucaDiProspero

servadei I'm sorry for your suffering. I'm in the very same situation, this is no life but I don't want to take any more drugs, cause pdoc keeps saying to me: 'not sure you will get better with a reinstatement of lexapro or any other drug...we have to try, it's a hit or miss". Crazy...

March 2010/ October 2010:

Sereupin 30mg a day, EN 15 drops a day

October 2010/ 1st November 2014:

Cipralex 50mg a day (tapered to 40mg a day in August 2013), EN 15 drops a day (switched to Lexotan 15 drops a day in September 2014)

Started Risperdal 1mg a day on the 1st November 2014.

Stopped Risperdal on the 23 November 2014 because that day, after a short mental crysis, I suddenly lost all my emotions,desires,motivation and they not come back yet.

Stopped Cipralex C/T in December 2014.

Added, tapered and stopped other drugs during the following months (also a voluntary hospitalization in January 2015 for a suicide attempt)...no changes yet.

 

 

I'm med free from 3rd December 2015

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