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servadei

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  • Administrator

servadei, we see many people hear healing and, when we can, we get them to post Success Stories.

 

The little suns on the Intro topics indicate people who are healing.

 

DP/DR is distressing but manageable. To help yourself heal, you need to "change the channel" -- turn your thoughts away from scaring yourself -- or use other self-soothing methods, see Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Please put your efforts into doing this, it will help you heal. Posting here day after day about how miserable you are is not helping you.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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dire, what kind of symptoms you have?

 

Luca... At the same time I'm glad somebody's in the same situation and yet I'm not. I hate Lexapro...

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Alto... If I didn't put my efforts I probably wouldn't move to another country. I would just stay at home in my bed.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Administrator

How can you use your posts here to help "change the channel" instead of dwelling on your misery?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I can't. I just write here to see if there are improvements. I can't lie. I don't feel better. But that doesn't mean I won't be better in a month or two even if I'm scared.

Today I'm stable.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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In DP/DR time flies away so fast so that's a thing I'm really grateful for. I don't know why is that, but it's better than passing slowly. My theory is that when we are bored (in a normal state) our minds are also bored. Can't explain this better... But in DP/DR, at least for me, my mind won't shut up. Like ever. We get so immersed in thoughts and that's why time passes so fast.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Administrator

I can't. I just write here to see if there are improvements. I can't lie. I don't feel better. But that doesn't mean I won't be better in a month or two even if I'm scared.

Today I'm stable.

 

That's a good way to remind yourself that sometimes it's better, rather than doing nothing but recording the worst. How about in every post, you also include something good that happened recently?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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dire, what kind of symptoms you have?

 

Luca... At the same time I'm glad somebody's in the same situation and yet I'm not. I hate Lexapro...

a lot of fatigue,depression,anxiety,restless legs,cortisol surges upon waking ,crying,hot flashes,ruminating thoughts...are we having fun yet? I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

oh,I forgot about the burning eyes,tics light sensitivity...it's hell.

went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct  back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.

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Alto, okay, I did that but I guess I need to do it more often heh.

 

Dire, I also have all of that...I can manage it without DP/DR. For me mental symptoms are harder than physical.

I hope you'll be better soon.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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thanks,servadei...yes,the mental symptoms are the worst.

 

take care,ds

went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct  back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.

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Is it possible for withdrawal to cause migraines? I never had them before so I guess it is because of it

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Thank you Petunia.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • 3 weeks later...

Just checking in. Still no windows and still in severe DP/DR. Fighting every day though.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Moderator
manymoretodays

servadei,

 

One thing that has really helped me........when I can do it.........is to quit fighting.  Even better, for me anyway, is to pick my battles and then just do what I can about them.......my battles.

 

When was your last window?  Try and go back there........even if just in your mind.........to remember it and relive it a bit if you have to.  Maybe that will help?

 

Hoping for that feeling of healing for you soon!  Man, that sounds corny.........lol....... :)

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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I'm in no position to quit. I have to find a job. I don't remember my window because of my DP/DR. What I'm trying to say is I can only remember memories from a DP/DR point of view but it gives everything that nightmare filter mode so I don't even try.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Moderator

It's not really a mater of quitting or giving up, it is more about accepting the situation and doing what needs to be done in spite of it. 

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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I feel like some kind of an experiment. Oh well..still gotta live, eat, pee, poop and sleep. Lol

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Moderator Emeritus

If you have to find a job, then that's what you have to do, DP/DR might make that more challenging and a very different kind of experience from if you didn't have it, but its still possible to function when you have it. I've been dealing with DP/DR (along with a whole bunch of other symptoms) for the last several years and I know how unpleasant it is, but it never stopped me from functioning quite well when I had to...sort of like faking it. In fact it was always a surprise just how well I did function, while feeling so strange.

 

When you have it, everything gets filtered through that DP/DR lens, even memories of when you didn't have DP/DR, so its like you have always had it, even if you didn't :wacko:

 

The good news is that its going to get better, DP/DR caused by withdrawal goes away in time, mine did, I hardly get it at all now.

 

Good luck with the job hunting, let us know how it goes.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Petu, yeah. Thats exactly how it is.

 

I'm having a job interview on Sunday..Wish me luck! If I get to work there it would be there cause it's 10 mins from my house!:)

 

Oh and I know especially that part about faking. Man I should go to acting academy lol. And I hate that filter because I want to hold on to something nice but as you said, it's like I had it forever. :S

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Last couple of days were really hard. My dp/dr went over the roof. I don't know if it's because of the job interviews or what but I'm really feeling bad. I have no other symptoms other than dp/dr and obsessive thinking about everything. I've been cryinv constantly since Saturday.

 

I really hope it will end soon and if I get a job I hope I'll be able to do it without getting so tired.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Good luck with the job hunting servadei, I hope you get the one you want. I'm sure its the increased stress of interviews that's made your symptoms worse. Once you have a job and have settled in, I think you will start to feel better.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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I got the job. Now I hope I can make it.

I was wondering if having dreams flashbacks is normal? Throught the day I suddenly remember dreams I had day, month or even years ago.. Why does that happen? Could it be that it's because in depersonalization state i question anything and everything and brain is trying to answer all of that? I also rember many memories that don't usually come to mind.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Oh and Petu thank you. It really means alot when somebody replies even if I don't feel connected to people I know my sub-consciousness takes it in.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Moderator
manymoretodays

Congratulations on landing the job!  That's great.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Thank you. I hope I'll make it with nausea and crying spells. Also derealization makes my concetration really poor..

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Hello. Since tomorrow is going to be 4 months as I got off I was thinking about an update on my symptoms.

-I no longer have cramps in legs or tingling sensation in my hands and face.

-Pinched nerve is back sometimes but it's not painful as before, in fact I can do things with it.

-I have ocasional burning sensation around lips which I read it has something to do with nerves. It doesn't make me panic, altough it's a bit uncomfortable.

-I still have severe DP/DR, I think dissociation is the worse for me. I feel like I am living in a completly different world than others. I also feel like I don't know who I am anymore.

-I started getting intrusive, disturbing thoughts when I started working. (sometimes sexual in nature which make me feel disgusting towards myself :wacko:)

-Last couple of days I had waves of fear and terror which make me shake badly and then i go into crying spells.

-After crying spells settle I suffer bad headache on the right side of my head (throbbing pain and eye/ear pressure).

-Since I started working I also feel nervous throught the day and fidgety and altough my work is physicaly exhausting I haven't slept good for 3-4 days now.

-I no longer feel pleasure in eating, listening to music, photography..etc. everything I used to like, i believe it is called anhedonia? :(

-My tinnitus is much louder than before, and I have more eye floaters than before.

-My libido is messed up

-Other people scare me but at the same time I became a bit clingy, especially with my dad

-I feel normal emotions in my dreams?

-Sometimes I feel a bit paranoid

-Sometimes I feel terrified of myself and I started to hate myself a bit

-Ocassional suicidal thoughts

-Existential thoughts

-When I think about future I only see myself like this and it makes me nauseus and terrified as life seems to long to live like this and I'm only 19-I hate that feeling

 

So that's it.. If you have any tips I would appreciate them. Thank you for this site. :) I feel like my dreams are taken away from me (getting married and having kids) but I also realize it has only been 4 months. I haven't given up on myself and I am willing to work on myself. I know my fight isn't over yet and that I need to be patient. 

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Oh and I also ruminate a lot about past. It seems like all these years I was coping good with missing my mom, but now it hurts so much. I know this is because of unstable emotions during wd..

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Ser,

All of these symptoms are symptoms of withdrawal. If you read others threads, many live with the same symptoms.

 

Sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my mom too! Not a day goes by that I don't miss her wholeheartly.

 

Hang in there,

Tgirl

I AM NOT A DOCTOR.

April 2014 remeron 45mg.

June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added

September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!!

Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0

Currently

Remeron 7.5

Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years

October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day

Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so

Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems.

August 2015 down to 0.1 mg

Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg.

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Thank you for reply. I am also sorry to hear about your mom. It is hard but one day we'll se them again. I am sure.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Yes we will. Mine has been gone 10 years. The hurt seems like yesterday.

It's brutal what this wd does to us. The mental part especially. I have all the same symptoms as you. I hate them all!

 

What symptom bothers you the most?

 

For me it is insomnia, I used to sleep so peacefully,

 

Tgirl

April 2014 remeron 45mg.

June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added

September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!!

Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0

Currently

Remeron 7.5

Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years

October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day

Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so

Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems.

August 2015 down to 0.1 mg

Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg.

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And my for 6, will be 7 next year..

For me it's dissociation, feeling like I live in another world and non-human, disturbing thoughts and anhedonia.

 

I had insomnia in first month but for the last couple of days I had trouble falling asleep which I usually don't. So I hope it won't expand into full insomnia because sleep is the only time I'm not conscious (which is a big relief for me).

 

I will pray for your sleep. :)

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Thank you Ser!!

I will pray for you as well!

 

Tgirl

April 2014 remeron 45mg.

June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added

September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!!

Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0

Currently

Remeron 7.5

Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years

October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day

Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so

Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems.

August 2015 down to 0.1 mg

Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg.

Link to post

Thank you. Please let me know about your sleep!!

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Will I ever get my feelings and motivation back? And feel like I belong in this world?

I feel like I could gain a bit strength if I knew when I 'm going to be healed. Or my brain will never return to it's factory settings since I quit ct.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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LucaDiProspero

servadei I'm sorry for your mom loss.

You listed many symptoms and I have some of them too (I was on lexapro too).

The worst for me are the anhedonia and the ocd thoughts about the meaning of what I do during my day and similar.

What do you mean with 'existential thoughts' ? are they similar to ocd and lasting all the day?

Keep going, ser!

March 2010/ October 2010:

Sereupin 30mg a day, EN 15 drops a day

October 2010/ 1st November 2014:

Cipralex 50mg a day (tapered to 40mg a day in August 2013), EN 15 drops a day (switched to Lexotan 15 drops a day in September 2014)

Started Risperdal 1mg a day on the 1st November 2014.

Stopped Risperdal on the 23 November 2014 because that day, after a short mental crysis, I suddenly lost all my emotions,desires,motivation and they not come back yet.

Stopped Cipralex C/T in December 2014.

Added, tapered and stopped other drugs during the following months (also a voluntary hospitalization in January 2015 for a suicide attempt)...no changes yet.

 

 

I'm med free from 3rd December 2015

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