Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted June 2, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 2, 2016 Hi, Servadei. I've never used it, but I did find this thread that might be useful: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8055-bee-pollen-royal-jelly-and-other-bee-products/ Link to comment
servadei Posted June 2, 2016 Author Share Posted June 2, 2016 Thanks Shep CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
servadei Posted June 9, 2016 Author Share Posted June 9, 2016 So yesterday I took an exam I need to get in to college. I was really nervous but not because of the test, I guess I'm just really nervous all the time becauss of the anxiety. Anyway when we finally sat i started getting my strange DR thought and panic attack was on the verge but I managed to calm myself down. Once I concentrated on the test it was okay. I'm proud of myself. Next week I'll be having an interview for the college so wish me luck. CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
nz11 Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 Good going servadei Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 That is great news Servadei! I am so happy for you. In spite of withdrawal you are managing it all very well. I am so proud of you. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted June 9, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 9, 2016 Wonderful news, Servadei! And best of luck with your upcoming interview. I'm sure you'll do great. Link to comment
servadei Posted June 9, 2016 Author Share Posted June 9, 2016 Nz, Martina and Shep, thank you so much guys ???? CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 9, 2016 Moderator Share Posted June 9, 2016 Well done on taking the exam, and best of luck with the interview. College is a very exciting time. I wish you the best. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
servadei Posted June 9, 2016 Author Share Posted June 9, 2016 Thank you, brassmonkey. CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
servadei Posted June 17, 2016 Author Share Posted June 17, 2016 Survived the interview even though I couldn't sleep, and adding this nervousnes on top my anxiety was horrible. I made it though. CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted June 17, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 17, 2016 This is great news, servadei! Getting through exams and interviews while going through this painful time in your life, you're building some amazing coping skills that will lead to an incredible life ahead of you. One accomplishment builds on the next, so you'll be a true warrior once you heal. I hope you get into that college. Sending healing vibes your way. Link to comment
servadei Posted June 17, 2016 Author Share Posted June 17, 2016 Thank you Shep so muuuch. I really hope I'll be much stronger person once this ends. (If it ends..but i believe everything has to end) It's not a problem to get into that college, it's a problem to do everyday tasks the college will expect. But I will not worry about that now. There's no point worrying about the future. CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 Hello Servadei, I admire you that you take the withdrawal together with accomplishing of everyday tasks so bravely. You did really a lot of good work. I wish you that all your college time will go smoothly and that you achieve everything without complications. What will you actually study? I studied economy. My withdrawal is still not better. I also hope that once it ends. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
servadei Posted June 17, 2016 Author Share Posted June 17, 2016 Thank you very much Martina. My wd is also not better, in fact it gotten worse in the last month or two, but I don't want it to stop me from living my life like my peers. I'm too young to just give up. I will study theology. It will end one day..It has to. CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
servadei Posted June 17, 2016 Author Share Posted June 17, 2016 Here's a song that helps me: CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
servadei Posted June 17, 2016 Author Share Posted June 17, 2016 "Your love surrounds me When my thoughts wage war When night screams terror There Your voice will roar Come death or shadow God I know Your light will meet me there When fear comes knocking There You'll be my guard When day breeds trouble There You'll hold my heart Come storm or battle God I know Your peace will meet me there" CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
servadei Posted June 24, 2016 Author Share Posted June 24, 2016 In the last few days I watched 3 horror movies with my friends. Before I couldn't even watch a comedy let alone a whole horror movie. It sounds stupid but reminds me I got better. I'm going to Budapest tomorrow, I hope it will be nice. CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted June 24, 2016 Share Posted June 24, 2016 I got panic attacks from watching Toy Story. Just the idea of Buzz Lightyears space suit got me very claustrophobic and I could not watch anymore. I got breathing problems and sweating, etc. Fortunately I`m a lot better these days I also could not watch any animations that happened under water. Finding Nemo was pure horrow for me. 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
servadei Posted June 25, 2016 Author Share Posted June 25, 2016 Yeah.. I was so sensitive to sight and sound. Couldn't even listen to music. And I'm a kind of person who has to listen to music no matter what I'm doing. XD CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Servadei, thank you for your hopeful words on my thread. It meant for me a lot that someone still believes that we heal. I dont know. You seem to have improvements yourself. It is good that you can watch even scary movies, it shows that your anxiety fell down, by me I still have to avoid them. But the music helps me also. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
servadei Posted July 3, 2016 Author Share Posted July 3, 2016 Martina, what you believe you will get. I am sure this awful time will end for us. Keep the faith. Today I went to mass, and in the evening I went to caffee and local bakery with my friend. Again, before I went out I thought 'today I will go crazy for sure'. But I didn't. I'm so happy when I prove my constant 'What If's' wrong. Fighting!! God please bless this forum and all the people here. Ease our pain and let us find meaning in this suffering. <3 CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted July 3, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 3, 2016 Proving those "what if's" wrong is a powerful display of healing in progress, servadei. Good to hear. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 3, 2016 Administrator Share Posted July 3, 2016 servadei, how are you feeling in general now? Any pesky symptoms? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
servadei Posted July 3, 2016 Author Share Posted July 3, 2016 Shep, thanks. Alto, anxiety, dp and dr are my worst symptoms. Derealization gives me the most weirdest thoughts and feelings I'm sure other people (well most of them) will never experience. It's the kind of thing you can barely explain and it doesn't show from the outside but it's tearing you apart on the inside. It's nasty. And anxiety..just a thought of me going out of my house makes me dizzy, sweaty and nervous. However, I am aware my brain makes things look so much scarier than they actually are. I also have problems with jealousy and I constantly compare myself with my friends who function normally. My confidence has fell greatly since all of this. I have no choice but to hold on and hope. I guess failure is just not an option for me. CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted July 4, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 4, 2016 Servadei, I'm glad you gave "voice" to the dp/dr. You've read enough of my thread to know I "hear" exactly what you're saying on that symptom. You amaze me with your ability to go on and get things done in spite of it all. Dp/dr is a very, very difficult symptom and yet you go out and meet with friends and even take exams for college. Truly amazing. Don't be jealous of your friends. They don't compare with how well you're handling yourself during this nightmare experience. You really are strong in so many ways. Have you seen this thread? Neuro Emotions I really think this jealous feeling is a neuro emotion. Withdrawal likes to play tricks on us and try to convince us we are "less than" everyone else, but that's simply not true. You're right - failure is not an option for you. And to be honest, I don't see that happening. Try to give yourself plenty of downtime. I think that does help with dp/dr. And don't listen to those pesky neuro emotions. That's a weight you don't need to carry. Sending healing vibes your way. Link to comment
servadei Posted July 4, 2016 Author Share Posted July 4, 2016 Thanks Shep, but I don't think I would be able to go through this without my friends and family. I can't wait for this to be over. Some people would think I'm crazy when I say this is worse than my mother's death, but I think those going through wd will understand completely... Yes, I've seen the 'Neuro Emotions' thread and I think that's exactly what's going on with jealousy because I've experienced sadness and anger 1000x stronger than before (almost like they're machine induced, fake) at the beginning of the withdrawal. Today I'm going to see ophtamologist as my vision in the left eye continues to deteriorate, I don't know if it's something to do with wd, but to be honest I don't care as it's one of the lesser problems I have. Thank you for all the kind words Shep, and I hope you can understand my posts well, since English is not my first language, hehe. Enjoy your day!! CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted July 4, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 4, 2016 Your English is quite good. Best of luck at the opthamologist. These drugs do indeed cause vision problems, but it's good to get your eyes checked out just in case. Link to comment
servadei Posted July 4, 2016 Author Share Posted July 4, 2016 I can't believe this. My vision is just the same as the last time I went for a check-up. Oh and, this may sound a bit stupid but I'm proud of myself today because I went to ophtamologist in my wedges. I love heels (as most girls do) but I said I have trouble getting out of my house let alone walking trough town. Today I walked AND i walked in my wedges. Beating the anxiety and dizziness. This is the first part of the day. I still have to go volunteer and in the evening i will go for a run in park with my friend. Wish me luck!! CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
servadei Posted July 9, 2016 Author Share Posted July 9, 2016 Today, 1 year ago, I have stopped taking antidepressants. I would celebrate but I feel there's still a long road ahead of me. Nevertheless, I do feel grateful for the things I have. CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted July 10, 2016 Moderator Share Posted July 10, 2016 Celebrate each milestone as you pass. Even with a lot more healing to do being off for a year is an accomplishment that should be noted. Congratulations and may the next year show even more improvement. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
servadei Posted July 10, 2016 Author Share Posted July 10, 2016 Thanks, brassmonkey. CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
Martina23 Posted July 10, 2016 Share Posted July 10, 2016 Congratulation Servadei, the most important is that you feel well. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
servadei Posted July 10, 2016 Author Share Posted July 10, 2016 Thanks, Martina. CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted July 10, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 10, 2016 A year off is a BIG DEAL, servadei. I'm so happy for you. My year off all meds was back in May and even though I'm still symptomatic, it felt good to pass that one year mark. Celebrate when and where you can because this is a very long journey. Congrats on passing that one year mark. Next year will be even better. Link to comment
servadei Posted July 13, 2016 Author Share Posted July 13, 2016 Thank you, Shep!! CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted July 13, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 13, 2016 Yes, celebrate your 1 year off. That is really something!!! I am doing the one year off.......escitalopram........ servadei dance in my chair. Accompanied by the bird song I can hear out in back. Did you try the bee product? I saw something mentioned above. I have some raw bee pollen that I carry with me now. Found it..........it was given to me some time back by a fairly natural practitioner. Then when I sat in a booth during a festival once..........we decided to share our space with some struggling artist and his friend. The friend had some as well and was out on the sidewalk from time to time trying to make some sales of her product. For me........I think it's helpful when my energy flags and I have no other immediate food source available. Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
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