Withdrawal causing repetitive or intrusive thoughts, rumination, and increased panic?

[peaceandlove]

On 6/6/2022 at 10:16 PM, Scrountz said:

 

ERP stands for Exposure Response Prevention. It's a kind of treatment for OCD where you expose yourself to something that would trigger your anxiety, but refrain from engaging in any compulsions that traditionally alleviate that anxiety. I think for many of us that's happening anyway, as a lot of us are just doing our best going through our lives and trying to live normally while dealing with strange and distressing thinking patterns.

 

ERP for a lot of us could involve just refraining from ruminating, researching, reassurance seeking etc. These things are really hard to give up but they do only reinforce the anxiety, which has no basis in reality.

 

Thanks for the kind words about my recent graduation. I feel like it's a miracle that I made it through, but I did.

 

The sausage thing was probably related to Histamine. Seems like a lot of us I've become more sensitive to that. Haven't touched it since and haven't had an experience like that since.

thank you for explaining that to me

[Roserdl]

Intrusive thoughts are so hard.  Distraction helps sometimes.   And cutting it off.   But ocd rumination was an issue before withdrawal so it's challenging..

  Trying to avoid asking for endless reassurance which doesn't work anyway is what I'm working on.  

[Sharkmouth]

Yeah, plus, if it does work for some people, they’re just exchanging short term comfort for long term discomfort. You’re doing the right things. ERP can help a lot in my opinion. 

[Ariel]

Brassmonkey on intrusive thoughts (IT): 

 

On 3/21/2022 at 8:26 PM, brassmonkey said:

 

Having the Intrusive Thoughts that these drugs produce can be a truly frightening experience. I had them many times a day during the middle years of my taper. The drugs have a way of digging up the most disturbing things in one's subconscious and displaying them over and over again. With such repetition it is easy for a person to start to believe that the thoughts are actually a part of themselves. They are not, they are only manifestations caused by the drugs and reenforced by our paying attention to them. The more we dwell on them the stronger they become, while the less attention they get the weaker they are.

 

Exposure to these drugs can strip away many of our "formed beliefs" and cause us to rethink many things. However, they do not alter our "core beliefs", the things we truly hold dear. They may shake our faith in those core beliefs but can't change them. Those core beliefs are the key to dealing with the Intrusive Thoughts. When an IT occurs many peoples first reaction is "OMG what am I thinking, that horrible. I must really be a bad person". That reaction gives the IT more of a hold over them and makes it more powerful the next time it happens. Changing our reaction to the IT is how we regain control.

 

When an IT happens, it is best not to react to it. Instead, take a few minutes to step back and look at the thought. Analyse it and see how it actually fits with your core beliefs. If it doesn't fit, then it is a false thought, and you need to react accordingly. "That's not me and you know it" is a good reply, say it directly to the thought and repeat it again and again every time that thought appears. After doing that a number of times, the reaction is changed to "you again, we've been through this before, now just go away". At this point you "change the channel", think about other things and go on with your day.

 

It takes a bit of practice, but over time this technique can be quite helpful for cutting down on the amount and severity of ITs.

 

Original comment here

 

[Kat66]

On 6/19/2022 at 10:56 PM, Roserdl said:

Intrusive thoughts are so hard.  Distraction helps sometimes.   And cutting it off.   But ocd rumination was an issue before withdrawal so it's challenging..

  Trying to avoid asking for endless reassurance which doesn't work anyway is what I'm working on.  

I have a constant loop in my head of intrusive thoughts to do with my marriage (do I love my husband, what if I don’t love him any more etc etc), and if it’s not that it’s that my life is pointless and over, etc etc. There is no relief. I’ve always been a ruminator but this is next level. The ensuing panic can be unbearable. Asking for reassurance never works even though you always think it will at the time. I’m always googling for reassurance. 

[Roserdl]

53 minutes ago, Kat66 said:

I have a constant loop in my head of intrusive thoughts to do with my marriage (do I love my husband, what if I don’t love him any more etc etc), and if it’s not that it’s that my life is pointless and over, etc etc. There is no relief. I’ve always been a ruminator but this is next level. The ensuing panic can be unbearable. Asking for reassurance never works even though you always think it will at the time. I’m always googling for reassurance. 

 

It's totally normal with the blunting which temporarily cuts us off from our connections and it is so hard to remind yourself it's another withdrawal symptom.  It's very hard to distract when in the midst of apathy and depression too.  All we can do is try not to reinforce it and distract.  And recognize neuroemotions

 

 

[Kat66]

8 hours ago, Roserdl said:

 

It's totally normal with the blunting which temporarily cuts us off from our connections and it is so hard to remind yourself it's another withdrawal symptom.  It's very hard to distract when in the midst of apathy and depression too.  All we can do is try not to reinforce it and distract.  And recognize neuroemotions

 

 

You’re right. It’s the hardest thing in the world to recognise this stuff as part of WD and therefore separate, because after a while this way of living becomes ‘real’ and that’s scary.

[lfran]

On 6/25/2022 at 6:14 PM, Kat66 said:

I have a constant loop in my head of intrusive thoughts to do with my marriage (do I love my husband, what if I don’t love him any more etc etc), and if it’s not that it’s that my life is pointless and over, etc etc. There is no relief. I’ve always been a ruminator but this is next level. The ensuing panic can be unbearable. Asking for reassurance never works even though you always think it will at the time. I’m always googling for reassurance. 

@Kat66 I have been dealing with the exact same thing for two years. I’ve had a handful of windows where I have clarity and feel ok- my fears about my marriage suddenly fade. I hope this brings you comfort. For me, just hearing that someone else is dealing with the same thing as me proves that it is at least partially caused by the withdrawal. 

[Kat66]

On 8/2/2022 at 10:23 PM, lfran said:

@Kat66 I have been dealing with the exact same thing for two years. I’ve had a handful of windows where I have clarity and feel ok- my fears about my marriage suddenly fade. I hope this brings you comfort. For me, just hearing that someone else is dealing with the same thing as me proves that it is at least partially caused by the withdrawal. 

Knowing that we're not alone is often comfort enough. Thanks for sharing that. It's hard to find this specific marriage related issue on here, even though I know there's a thread devoted to it, it doesn't get a  lot of fresh posts, well, none that I've seen anyway!

[Scrountz]

@Kat66 @lfran

 

I've dealt with the same thing on and off during withdrawal. Learning about the idea of relationship OCD really helped normalize this for me. If you're curious I'd recommend just doing a google search. I was surprised to find a great deal of parallels between my present experience and this syndrome, as well as things I experienced (to a much less severe degree) pre-withdrawal. 

 

My sense is that withdrawal often manifests as an OCD-like syndrome for many people, with the focus of the anxiety shifting depending on a variety of factors. It seems like lots of people on here complain of experiencing deep anxiety about relationships, embarrassing past events, existential concerns, illness, food, social interactions etc. 

 

Hang in there, these thoughts don't stick around forever.  

[Kat66]

On 8/7/2022 at 4:31 AM, Scrountz said:

@Kat66 @lfran

 

I've dealt with the same thing on and off during withdrawal. Learning about the idea of relationship OCD really helped normalize this for me. If you're curious I'd recommend just doing a google search. I was surprised to find a great deal of parallels between my present experience and this syndrome, as well as things I experienced (to a much less severe degree) pre-withdrawal. 

 

My sense is that withdrawal often manifests as an OCD-like syndrome for many people, with the focus of the anxiety shifting depending on a variety of factors. It seems like lots of people on here complain of experiencing deep anxiety about relationships, embarrassing past events, existential concerns, illness, food, social interactions etc. 

 

Hang in there, these thoughts don't stick around forever.  

Thanks @Scrountz that helps. I have done a whole load of googling on ROCD and the condition does seem to make sense in relation to my own anxieties. If for some reason I become anxious about something else (which is quite rare as my marriage tops the list of things I ruminate about), then the same things happens, just intense rumination to the point of unbearable. At the moment I have unbearable anxiety about life in general as well as my marriage. It's horrible but I keep telling myself it's all part of WD.

 

[Greatful]

I  have the hypervigilant amygdala fear center that is so activated.  So I guess my brain/body thinks it's in danger, so in turn looks for something to latch on too, then obsessing,ocd and paranioa. 

 

I read this on another thread a while back copied and pasted it to documents. To remind myself I am not alone when it comes to the crazy thoughts in my brain.

[TRIGGER ALERT]

• I hallucinated having cut off my breast;

• I had one moment of being terrified of the moon (don't know why);

• I had deeply, shamefully racist thoughts (very unlike me);

• I thought similarities or dates in movies had some hidden, terrifying meaning so I couldn't watch TV, look at social media or open messages in case they triggered something;

• I had major harm OCD intrusive thoughts directed at myself and my family - I wouldn't check on them at night (even though I was desperate to), sew or cook because I was terrified that I'd do something, or had done something and forgotten about it (hence my intense cycle of wanting to check on them);

• I had lots of suicidal ideation;

• I once saw a baby being held by it's mum and recoiled because it looked/felt - I don't know - corrupted? Prompt more harm OCD (Normal me loves babies and will always be the one holding one and playing with the toddlers at gatherings);

• I felt like liquids changed consistency in my mouth; and

• once I got a handle on the harm intrusive thoughts (see below) my theme became about contamination (again, totally unlike me)

I haven't ever experienced that before I took the SSRI and I haven't experienced it since I have been recovered.  It was like living in a nightmare This thing attacks what you hold most dear and exploits some of our earlier hidden fears & sense of self (& puts them on steroids!). It happens that way to get your attention. For me it was harm directed at myself and my family - because I am a gentle, empathetic soul.  Over the years I have spoken with a runner who couldn’t use her legs, a profoundly faithful person who became fearful of God, an extrovert who couldn’t be around people, and so on post adverse reaction. 

 

Here is some more  examples of OCD 

 

 In real event OCD, you experience obsessional anxiety and guilt about a real event that occurred in the past that you regretted. Sounds a lot like @Rhiannon's dystalgia to Real Event OCD-me.

 

Harm OCD- This type of OCD involves intrusive thoughts about harming others or oneself. 

 

Relationship OCD- Relationship OCD sufferers will obsess endlessly about whether their partner is right for them, whether they really love their partner, focus obsessively on their partner's flaws, or obsess about whether their partner really loves them.

 

Scrupulosity OCD: This type of OCD manifests as an obsession concerned with acting morally proper, and is sometimes associated with religiosity such as obsessing about being sinful and compulsive prayer.

 

 

One day our brains will work🌞

 

 

 

[Kat66]

Does anyone else get thoughts about scenarios where they’re hurting someone/hurting an animal? I occasionally used to get these kinds of thoughts but in WD they’re ten times more vivid/disturbing? I know they’re only thoughts but they’re still extremely distressing!

[Greatful]

@Kat66  What a nightmare this whole thing can be. Do you feel like a fantasy? That you  are going to do it?  

 I hate the crazy mind.  I try to tell my husband I about my crazy obsessing thoughts.  Yeah I know they are just thoughts but the fear part of my mind makes it feel like they might be true.  It's like I am half rational and half dylusional. 😒

[Kat66]

I know I won’t do these things, but the levels of anger I feel sometimes make me feel like I may lose control in public and lash out verbally or kick a car or something. I totally know what you mean about the fear part of your brain convincing you these thoughts might be true, and yes I am starting to feel like I’m going crazy.

[Greatful]

@Kat66  I tell my hubby  I am going insane, or at least feel like I am going to go insane 😬

[Kat66]

The insanity feelings have only started getting more regular recently. Almost like I’ve been ruminating and obsessing for so long at this level something has ‘broken’ in my psyche.

 

 Does that make sense?

[Vulnicura]

I've experienced nasty intrusive thoughts since I was like 16 or so (now 28). It's been 3 years now since my major discontinuation event and I still feel terrible all around, worse than a few months ago. I'm a school teacher, barely survived last year and I can't see how i'm supposed to survive this year feeling the way I do.

 

It's been 3 years, why am I feeling worse than in the beginning of last school year?

 

Sorry for the caps. I am frustrated. (CC changed previous questions to lower case).

 

The intrusive thoughts I experienced yesterday when driving were so vicious... Is it really mostly protracted withdrawal speaking or do I need to give in and try psych drugs again because my brain is just naturally ravaged?

 

I can't believe this. 

 

Edited August 14, 2022 by ChessieCat
changed from caps

[Vonnegutjunky]

I’m here right along with you- my intrusive thoughts now are that I am going to become psychotic - I get such bad intrusve thoughts I fear I am going to just start screaming like a crazy person - screaming at nothing - and being locked state of constant terror that I will never come out of- all because of these thoughts and feelings - I came here tonight because I am tempted to try a new medication - that’s how fearful I am- but seeing I’m not alone- I will hold out on that for now as I’ve come so far- I don’t want to mess up my progress - 

On 8/13/2022 at 12:56 PM, Greatful said:

@Kat66  I tell my hubby  I am going insane, or at least feel like I am going to go insane 😬

 

[HardWork]

I used to have intrusive thoughts and ruminations to an extreme. For many years... I tried many skills and therapies to stop it, nothing worked.... Until one therapist told me- 

"There's nothing wrong with ruminating. Psychiatry has made us believe its a disorder. Your mind will go over things until it settles them. In the olden days when a person wanted to catch a deer. They would stand there ruminating- ' If the deer comes from that side it'll go there & ill wait here. But what if it starts racing the other way, then I'll spread my net on that said. So if I wait on that side etc etc ' . No one considered that a problem! Its normal human thought processing. "

Guess what- since that day the ruminations stopped by me! It first got less and less, until slowly disappeared. The few times that I do ruminate I think to myself- 'wow thats a real smart way of thinking.' - It indeed is, the minds way of processing thoughts. (The cycle of ruminating about my ruminations stopped. Even if it doesn't stop by you, its NORMAL.... we don't need it to stop!)

 

Regarding thoughts of going insane. It's all too familiar too. It feels so real...and so scary! By me it was the trauma of being put onto meds for that reason in the past.... I don't think 'we go insane'. I think its the ppl who were psychotic before that developed this fear. I don't think 'insane just happens...  Psychosis/insanity is usually caused by meds in first place, its not going to happen to us careful taperers. 

 

Both issues disappeared after my therapist explained that to me.  Ruminations and intrusive thoughts- are fancy words that psychiatry invented, but it's really 'the way humans think until those matters are resolved.' You're way of thinking is perfect the way its meant to be!

 

(Or maybe twas just my specific case/experience)

[Kat66]

7 hours ago, HardWork said:

Your mind will go over things until it settles them.

 

Guess what- since that day the ruminations stopped by me! It first got less and less, until slowly disappeared. 

 

What your therapist says makes sense, however, WD induced rumination feels like a completely different animal. It feels toxic and 'not normal', or at least mine does. It has driven me down a very dark path to the point where I feel like I can't get back to where I was before WD. I am in a permanent state of looping rumination and I don't think it'll stop until I'm healed.

 

I'm glad your rumination stopped though, that's great. Your method of reminding yourself that it's just the mind processing thoughts makes perfect sense. I just think I'm way beyond that and nothing will work.

 

9 hours ago, Vonnegutjunky said:

my intrusive thoughts now are that I am going to become psychotic - I get such bad intrusve thoughts I fear I am going to just start screaming like a crazy person - screaming at nothing - and being locked state of constant terror that I will never come out of- all because of these thoughts and feelings 

 

I feel like I'm getting to this stage too.

 

Sometimes I think would it have been easier to just stay on the medication?

[HardWork]

@Kat66 yes yes yes! You're right! Today I got punished.... My brain turned against me...going through all the crazy feelings and ruminations since I had a WD botchup due to meds messup....true its uncontrollable. And I'm even speaking to myself..awful! Btw- this therapist also went through WD and is part of our community actually (she dumped her license)

I guess my ruminations were milder and diff kind... that's why I added note on bottom, in case I'm not understanding.. was expecting an attack. But you were so kind

[HardWork]

The ruminations that I was referring to was- having conversations with ppl in my head... sorting out things through mind-conversations, they were back and forth, and couldn't control...

[Kat66]

On 8/29/2022 at 5:00 PM, HardWork said:

The ruminations that I was referring to was- having conversations with ppl in my head... sorting out things through mind-conversations, they were back and forth, and couldn't control...

The thing about rumination is that the rumination 'habit' latches onto anything. We have main rumination subjects (the state of the world, who the hell am I, do I still love my husband?), then, if for some miraculous reason I stop ruminating about any of that, the looping habit latches onto something else. It's out of control! It's got to be a WD thing. Ruminations on steroids, NEUROrumination! And yes, it does feel like your brain is turning against you. It's like it has a separate identity that you just don't want but have no control over. No amount of CBT will dislodge this monster.

[HardWork]

3 hours ago, Kat66 said:

No amount of CBT will dislodge this monster.

It's all true what you're saying. But I still feel that seeing the ruminations as normal/okay (and in withdrawal it goes 'its okay to be uncomfortable in this symptom. Its normal for WD') Thats step 1. Getting terrified of it, or feeling like an outside buzz is controlling you makes it a lot worse from my experience. It puts you into a worse whirlwind. Even if the cbt won't dislodge the monster, at least there's no added anxiety to fuel the vicious cycle....Rumination on top of rumination

Also I find distractions, like having a conversation with a friend who knows nothing about your med story helps me, at least in those moments.

Thank God I don't have ruminations to the level that distractions don't take it away for the moment. Its devastating and agitating to have buzzing .......🐝..... my friend, I'm  having it right now..... (thats why distracting myself with this message)

My humble guess how and why ruminations happen in withdrawal, at least true for me- We undergo such severe symptoms that our minds just want to go out of body, ruminations is a form of out of body and takes completely over, takes attention away from other symptoms. For example now if I pause to feel my body I'm noticing I'm pulling to rather stay with the ruminations. So let me yes pause and go into body- heres what I feel- extremely heavy, tired, just wanting to stay on couch, extremely weak, hollow, saddened, hopeless, alone, tension.------ wow I didn't even know! Straight back to rumination (or rather this message)- feeling NOTHING! Miraculously..... So if I need to get things done around the house I go straight into rumination not to feel body. We wouldn't survive staying in our bodies! When I feel my body the pain of withdrawal hits me! (no I don't want ruminations instead, my subconscious does) I think its about the balance of being in body with the symptoms and learning to work along with the symptoms.

 

Yes ruminations are distressing, overwhelming, frustrating, even when we know it's normal. @Kat66 you are so expressive!- are you sure you're medicated? Wish I was like that, I feel like I lost my teeth.... Thanks for explanation on rumination! So helpful!

Hope I was clear...in the midst of...yikes... monster dizzyfying rumination 😵

[Greatful]

I vote that ruminations and obsessing are a nightmare.   Like @Kat66 claims they are way morphed in withdrawal. Our normal brain in homeostasis on drugs or not can be more rational.  Right now my rational brain is buried beneath my super hypervigilant amygdala,  it's turning it  into phobia, fear and   crazy thoughts.  Our brain is not running on all cylinders/ not connecting right.  Then you throw in how awful you feel otherwise, flu like symptoms it's now wonder we get tired out.

When you can think more clearly or rational you are able to find your way out of the maze of thoughts easier. I don't know I guess I am rambling  LOL Wishful thinking for the future and rationality returning.  

 

@Vonnegutjunky I can't tell you how many time I have that terror and panic in my brain, my brain feels like it is trapped and there is no way out.  I get the urge to  either run, or sit in a corner with my hands over my ears, sobbing or  screaming. LOL.. I've even pictured myself in a patted hospital  room (locked door) holding my ears sitting on the floor frighten to my wits, begging for drugs.  I have learned to tell myself this will pass, but it is so horrendously miserable some time.   Thank goodness it's seems to be less intense as I am taper down.  But it sure raises its ugly head.

 

It's so reassuring to know that you are not alone and this is just withdrawal.....We have to trust that one day we'll look back on this with a rational brain and laugh at our craziness.🌞  Or just plain have PTSD from the whole thing 😳

   

[Kat66]

18 hours ago, HardWork said:

We undergo such severe symptoms that our minds just want to go out of body, ruminations is a form of out of body and takes completely over, takes attention away from other symptoms. For example now if I pause to feel my body I'm noticing I'm pulling to rather stay with the ruminations. So let me yes pause and go into body- heres what I feel- extremely heavy, tired, just wanting to stay on couch, extremely weak, hollow, saddened, hopeless, alone, tension.------ wow I didn't even know! Straight back to rumination (or rather this message)- feeling NOTHING! Miraculously..... So if I need to get things done around the house I go straight into rumination not to feel body. We wouldn't survive staying in our bodies! When I feel my body the pain of withdrawal hits me! (no I don't want ruminations instead, my subconscious does) I think its about the balance of being in body with the symptoms and learning to work along with the symptoms.

 

Yes ruminations are distressing, overwhelming, frustrating, even when we know it's normal. @Kat66 you are so expressive!- are you sure you're medicated? Wish I was like that, I feel like I lost my teeth.... Thanks for explanation on rumination! So helpful!

Hope I was clear...in the midst of...yikes... monster dizzyfying rumination 😵

DISCLAIMER; I apologise if I'm being thick but my brain is exhausted from all the rumination! So what you're saying is, it can be helpful to focus attention out of the brain and into the body so we don't get 'stuck' in our ruminations? Can you explain to me again like I am a 3 year old please? Or are you saying it's not helpful to focus on the body because that keeps you ruminating?

 

Thanks for saying that - I do enjoy writing, it's like journaling I guess. Gets it all out there  

 

17 hours ago, Greatful said:

my brain feels like it is trapped and there is no way out.  I get the urge to...run,

I feel like this constantly at the moment - if only there was a way to 'escape' our brains and occupy a rational person's brain for a day. I would love it to be possible for a 'well' person to experience what we're going through!

[HardWork]

3 hours ago, Kat66 said:

DISCLAIMER; I apologise if I'm being thick but my brain is exhausted from all the rumination! So what you're saying is, it can be helpful to focus attention out of the brain and into the body so we don't get 'stuck' in our ruminations? Can you explain to me again like I am a 3 year old please? Or are you saying it's not helpful to focus on the body because that keeps you ruminating?

Lay down for a minute and feel your toes, souls, feet, body... put all your attention to put yourself into your BODY. How does your feet feel? Tingly? Plain? Numb? Nothing at all? (Rrrrr...., you're expecting me to give explanations these days?.... ) Then go through as much of your body as you're able to.

Okay, when you focus completely on your body, your inside your BODY instead of inside your MIND (ruminating). 

Or another idea- do something LOUDER than the ruminations, to overpower it. You like to write, so write.... (Phone conversations help me.) To take your mind to a different place other than ruminations 

Disclaimer- every person is individual. Maybe my ruminations are not as bad as yours

Question: are you scared of the ruminations? Do you feel endangered by them?

My heart goes put to you!!! Ruminations are paralyzing!!

[Kat66]

Ah, you mean like body scans? I do those all the time and they really help, even if only temporarily. They take me out of my internal ruminative monologue and into the external landscape. Am I scared of the ruminations? I know from reading about thoughts etc that thoughts in themselves can't hurt you, but the overwhelming and constant nature of the ruminations grinds me down and feeds the almost constant dread I feel.

[conkaia]

Hi I can totally identify with intrusive thoughts and ruminations in withdrawal. I am plagued with them right now and struggling to cope.  Its reassuring to read the comments on this thread @Kat66 I can identify with your thoughts re your husband.  Mine just jump from theme to theme and its so difficult to dismiss them like I would have before this nightmare.

[Kat66]

2 hours ago, conkaia said:

Hi I can totally identify with intrusive thoughts and ruminations in withdrawal. I am plagued with them right now and struggling to cope.  Its reassuring to read the comments on this thread @Kat66 I can identify with your thoughts re your husband.  Mine just jump from theme to theme and its so difficult to dismiss them like I would have before this nightmare.

It is hard to dismiss them with the usual strategies. It's like they're welded into our minds. Does anything help you? It's a relief to know I'm not alone with the husband related thoughts. If you're comfortable sharing, what kind of thoughts do you have re your husband? Message me privately if you'd prefer.... 

[conkaia]

17 hours ago, Kat66 said:

It is hard to dismiss them with the usual strategies. It's like they're welded into our minds. Does anything help you? It's a relief to know I'm not alone with the husband related thoughts. If you're comfortable sharing, what kind of thoughts do you have re your husband? Message me privately if you'd prefer.... 

Hi @Kat66I private messaged you. 

[conkaia]

On 8/29/2022 at 5:17 AM, HardWork said:

I used to have intrusive thoughts and ruminations to an extreme. For many years... I tried many skills and therapies to stop it, nothing worked.... Until one therapist told me- 

"There's nothing wrong with ruminating. Psychiatry has made us believe its a disorder. Your mind will go over things until it settles them. In the olden days when a person wanted to catch a deer. They would stand there ruminating- ' If the deer comes from that side it'll go there & ill wait here. But what if it starts racing the other way, then I'll spread my net on that said. So if I wait on that side etc etc ' . No one considered that a problem! Its normal human thought processing. "

Guess what- since that day the ruminations stopped by me! It first got less and less, until slowly disappeared. The few times that I do ruminate I think to myself- 'wow thats a real smart way of thinking.' - It indeed is, the minds way of processing thoughts. (The cycle of ruminating about my ruminations stopped. Even if it doesn't stop by you, its NORMAL.... we don't need it to stop!)

 

Regarding thoughts of going insane. It's all too familiar too. It feels so real...and so scary! By me it was the trauma of being put onto meds for that reason in the past.... I don't think 'we go insane'. I think its the ppl who were psychotic before that developed this fear. I don't think 'insane just happens...  Psychosis/insanity is usually caused by meds in first place, its not going to happen to us careful taperers. 

 

Both issues disappeared after my therapist explained that to me.  Ruminations and intrusive thoughts- are fancy words that psychiatry invented, but it's really 'the way humans think until those matters are resolved.' You're way of thinking is perfect the way its meant to be!

 

(Or maybe twas just my specific case/experience)

That actually makes a lot of sense. Ruminating is my brains way of trying to process what’s happened to me. Thanks. I’m desperately clinging on to anything that can help me through this nightmare. 

[Kat66]

That all makes sense, yes, but it’s the extreme nature of the ruminations that’s striking to me. This may be the brains way of naturally working through stuff but it doesn’t make it any less difficult and painful to deal with. The extreme and endless nature of the ruminating doesn’t ‘feel’ normal…..

[margaretLO]

On 8/7/2022 at 6:31 AM, Scrountz said:

@Kat66 @lfran

 

I've dealt with the same thing on and off during withdrawal. Learning about the idea of relationship OCD really helped normalize this for me. If you're curious I'd recommend just doing a google search. I was surprised to find a great deal of parallels between my present experience and this syndrome, as well as things I experienced (to a much less severe degree) pre-withdrawal. 

 

My sense is that withdrawal often manifests as an OCD-like syndrome for many people, with the focus of the anxiety shifting depending on a variety of factors. It seems like lots of people on here complain of experiencing deep anxiety about relationships, embarrassing past events, existential concerns, illness, food, social interactions etc. 

 

Hang in there, these thoughts don't stick around forever.  

hi guys. I am one year off 10mg lex took 6.5 years and I developed severely rocd that killed almost my relationship. It's like obsession to the person and fear he ll  leave mea and I can't handle it with the brain damage and I ll react bad. The bad thing is that I express him what I think and he thinks I gone crazy. He is ready for distance.  I can't stop try to find ensurance and as far as he doesn't give it I am very bad.  I was at another town and he was with a girl as a friend told me 

Tha truth is I had some kind of ocd with relatioship before lexapro, but now its not me. Is something beyond imagination .....this happen to my first reduce dose to half some years before but then I wasn't so sick mentally and physically like now I got sick on lex. I am afraid I ll stay crazy. . I developed the frontal thing together woth brain fog and anhedonia 1 year off. Very late! How is this possible? What did u do to manage this? How long did it last?? Did u have other congition symptoms together? I have xtreme head pressure. My qeeg show hyperactivity appear suddenly at 8 months off... I have this 6 months. It's like I change personality every day.... My confusion and focus is very bad too. 

[Leonardo]

I can't stop thinking about the future, I'm a student and all I can think about is my exams that won't happen for 6 months! And I'm on vacation!

I suffered from insomnia again.

I've been off of Trazodone for 6 months. My psychologist says he doesn't believe anyone can have symptoms from the drug beyond 3 months.

I believe it is the lack of trazodone.

It is obsessive thinking about the future and fear of the future.

Has anyone gone through this?