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gemini

"Mental illness"

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gemini

What are some of your thoughts on childhood trauma/episodic psychotic states/situation-spurred major depression/nonorganic "mental illness" (which I think all is nonorganic)?


off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

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flowstate1310

I think there is a direct correlation. I was brutally bullied growing up and now have Bipolar. I have an aunt who was raped as a kid and has since dealt with schizophrenia 


Celexa 20mg - 8 months

Celexa 10mg - 1 year

Celexa 5mg - 8 months (off)

Olanzapine 7.5 - 1 weeks

Olanzapine 5 - 2 weeks

Olanzapine 2.5 - 1 week (off)

Zoplicone 4 weeks (stopped June 16)

Lithium 900mgs - 2 months

currently 1050mgs

 

My story here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9355-flowstate1310-zopiclone-withdrawalrebound-insomnia/?hl=lithium#entry176311

 

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gemini

I believe that as well


off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

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gemini

I should say it's all organic in that it starts with us, the organism, trying to deal with horrific trauma.


off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

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melinae

I think there is a direct correlation. I was brutally bullied growing up and now have Bipolar. I have an aunt who was raped as a kid and has since dealt with schizophrenia 

 

My mother was raped as a child and now has schizophrenia, also :( 


Currently on: Zoloft, 137.5mg and Lamotrigine, 25mg for complex PTSD. Trazodone, 100mg for sleep issues.

 

Past history (hazy memory of): 

1. Paxil / Dosage: don't remember / Tapering: don't remember (2000-2001)

2. Wellbutrin / Dosage: don't remember / Tapering: very short (2005ish, 1 month only)

3. Zoloft / Dosage: 25 or 50mg / Tapering: decreasing abruptly, then going back on it; decreasing and increasing rapidly again, then tapering finally, over the course of a few months. The withdrawal was never completed and I found myself much more depressed. (2007-2009)

4. Xanax / Dosage: smallest (0.5mg?) / Tapering: stopped taking it one day (2010-2012ish)

5. Cymbalta / Dosage: small dose / Tapering: 2-4 weeks (2011ish)

6. Celexa / Dosage: small dose / Tapering: 2-4 weeks (2012ish)

7. Lexapro / Dosage: 5mg-10mg / Tapering: 1-2 weeks (2012ish)

8. Zoloft / Dosage: 25mg, increasing to 50mg, 100mg, 125mg, and 137.5mg. / Tapering : No. (2013-current)

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Darwin

causation is not correlation. Imo mental illness comes from a deficiency in your body. you must feed your body what it needs to give it the ability to heal itself from any disease 


Summer 2013: started on Prozac for OCD

Fall 2013: started Lexapro due to Prozac zombie effects

 

Stopped Lexapro because of lack of empathy/emotion,anxiety,lack of concentration etc.

Fall 2014: switched to zoloft 

 

February 2015: started effexor quit C/D after 2 weeks.

April 2015: was on zoloft for a month again to try and wean a bit more slowly. DID not work.

May 2015: dumped all of my medications

July 2015: Struggling day to day with withdrawal symptoms but hopeful that I'll be better at the end of august for the next school year.

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AnotherAnon

It's very hard to deny mental illness. I have struggled with Anxiety and Depression my whole life, I had a unorthodox upbringing, while many of my "friends" as a child did not. It affected me. I've done a ton of therapy, really only certain medicines have taken the real edge off. My SO had a traumatic childhood and is now diagnosed as bipolar II. I completely believe the diagnosis is correct. Nothing so far has really helped her. I think medication will be in the mix for a long while, for both of us.

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Darwin

It's very hard to deny mental illness. I have struggled with Anxiety and Depression my whole life, I had a unorthodox upbringing, while many of my "friends" as a child did not. It affected me. I've done a ton of therapy, really only certain medicines have taken the real edge off. My SO had a traumatic childhood and is now diagnosed as bipolar II. I completely believe the diagnosis is correct. Nothing so far has really helped her. I think medication will be in the mix for a long while, for both of us.

medications aren't the answer they're only the easy way out. please look into healing of meditation,ayahuasca,psilocybin mushrooms, MDMA,whole foods vegan diet,clean water, and exercise. 


Summer 2013: started on Prozac for OCD

Fall 2013: started Lexapro due to Prozac zombie effects

 

Stopped Lexapro because of lack of empathy/emotion,anxiety,lack of concentration etc.

Fall 2014: switched to zoloft 

 

February 2015: started effexor quit C/D after 2 weeks.

April 2015: was on zoloft for a month again to try and wean a bit more slowly. DID not work.

May 2015: dumped all of my medications

July 2015: Struggling day to day with withdrawal symptoms but hopeful that I'll be better at the end of august for the next school year.

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Marta

I think it is really hard to diagnose a mental illness....what makes me angry it that....ok the psy have their charts, their tests and it's ok....but the diagnose should be something like "he\she is likely to have bipolar, ptsd and so on", instead of "you are depressed take prozac".

I really hope for the next years blood tests of mental issues would be reality! New approaches and ADs no more prescribed! I desire this sooo bad! Hugs!


Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can SURVIVE!06/2012 - 02/2015 CIPRALEX 10mg (for master degree last year deep stress and abdominal pain somatization) 02/2015 - 04/2015 tapering from 10mg to 0mg for 4/3 weeks FREE feeling totally "normal" then SUDDENLYnever-had-before huge anxiety, burning skin sensation, painc, fear, not able to cry, never-had-before insomnia, totally lost appetite, little loss of vision in one eye, sweating, chest pain, short breath, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat for ONE MONTH ZERO IMPROVEMENT30/05/2015 CAN'T bear anymore => reinstated 8mg 06/2015 same symptoms (my GP gave me also benzo for anxiety but I threw them away) 07/2015 same, few tiny improvemets 08/2015 general improving + trying a phosphate supplement (LOW dose) 09/2015 quite stable (supplement finished, no effect) 10/2015 start tapering 7mg 11/2015 6mg 12/2015 5mg 1/2016 4mg 2/2016 4mg 3/2016 3mg (hopefully) ->fail back to 4mg AGAIN....8/2016 3mg stable<p>

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LoveandLight

Yes..there are many other ways to treat..ad's last resort or better..never be prescribed..


2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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antidepressantsNoMore

mental illness is often caused by genetic and environmental factors. People who have relatives with certain illnesses may be more likely to develop these dieases. This is not the cause for everyone. I think environment may play a even bigger role in the development of mental illness. If a person is abused or exposed to traumatic experiences during a young age, they may have a better chance of developing these "brain dieases." A person who used drugs or abusing alcohol is more likely or prone to developing depression or even psychosis. So take care of yourself, and stay away from the bad things. The mind is a powerful thing.


2 Years free of w/d.

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JanCarol

I agree antidepressantsnomore.  

 

In my own case, where do you separate the genetic from the environmental factors?  

 

I was adopted from a "nutty" family into a "neurotic" one.  (I have more in common with the nutty one, but the neurotic one definitely had traumatic elements)

Abandonment issues.

I was intolerant to wheat and dairy, which I have only recently learned was the probable cause of my childhood allergies, canker sores, bruxism etc.

I was put on heavy antihistamines from age 7.

The family moved about ever 2-4 years, I had no stability of peers.

The oppression of the neurotic family became unbearable at puberty - and so did I.

I went to 5 high schools in 3.5 years.

Experimented with recreational drugs from ages 18-33.

More than a few rape-y molest-y situations in there (also starting at age 7).  Also extreme situations.

Narcissistic view of self centered universe.

Got into an oppressive marriage (he later committed suicide, a decade after our divorce).

Was experimented on by doctors with all the latest in pharma technology.

Divorced the oppressive man, exploded into paranoid mania.  More psych drug experiments.

Depleted myself through vegetarian diet, entered into an abusive relationship (these two factors are entwined)

Exhausted myself into another deep depression, escaped the abusive relationship by just being too tired to continue.

Accepted the diagnosis.  More psych drug experiments.

 

So there - you have genetic, familial, nutritional, relationships, environmental, all bound up into one, tight, tidy little word:  bipolar.

 

I'm with Peter Breggin.  If I'd had more understanding of "problems of living" I might not have gone so far.  HOWEVER, due to my selfish/ narcissistic view of myself in the world - I MAY NOT HAVE BEEN OPEN to therapeutic understanding, even though I perceived myself as a "deeply spiritual being."

 

So the path is the path.  We all have traumas, we all are affected differently by them.  

 

It's what you're born with

What happens to you

How you are cared for (and learn to care for yourself)

and how you - with what you are born with - respond and react to those factors.

 

The diagnosis?  That's a cubbyhole invented by docs.  I'm not saying that there is no such thing as psychic and emotional pain - obviously they are real.  But do we need to label them?


"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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compsports

""The diagnosis?  That's a cubbyhole invented by docs.  I'm not saying that there is no such thing as psychic and emotional pain - obviously they are real.  But do we need to label them?""

 

Exactly JC.   How the heck did normal reactions to horrific situations get labeled as a mental illness?   Didn't seem to happen before psych meds became a big factor.  Hmm.


Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

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ZombieMode

I've always lived a pretty "normal" life. Was above average in school, and had a relatively sane family and social life.

 

April this year I met a girl, upon doing so I started "hearing voices" which I feel to be were of guardian angels/god...

 

They were always positive and loving,

 

This means I now also have schizophrenia, and am being drugged because of this organic experience.

 

I feel mental illness has a lot to do with a persons "openness" to the spiritual realm.

 

http://www.awakeninthedream.com/wordpress/spiritual-emergence/


*Forced* drugging history:

  • Unknown cocktail during 2x admissions
  • 400mg aripiprazole monohydrate monthly injections: 2015 - present
  • 1,200mg sodium valproate orals daily: 2017 - present

 

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Junglechicken

Bullied at boarding school non-stop for 4 years - couldn't get away.  Result: performed average/below academically/learning difficulties.

Great childhood - had everything or so it seemed. 

Parents moved abroad (NB: they never stop moving, this seems to be their answer to escaping financial difficulty).  Father always borrowing money from friends.  We seemed to lurch from one crisis to another.

Never felt particularly secure because of this.

Went to boarding school abroad - out of my league financially.  Everyone else super rich league (didn't really fit in).  Parents broke again, pulled me out of school abroad - returned to UK.

Thrust into the work world aged 17 - London, UK  Started getting panic attacks.

Temped for many years as I didn't know what I wanted to do - low confidence.

Wanted to study for a degree as didn't feel I was fulfilling my potential - succeeded and went on to do a Masters (Very stressful).

Re-located to a town which I hated (for work) - felt depressed, didn't fit in because I wasn't considered a true scientist.  Held back by management.  Car broken into several times (attempted theft), house broken into (high crime rate) hated the environment

Parents financial issues came to light - I went off the rails (drinking, smoking, bad relationships).  Had to bail them out $$$$$$$

Applied for Canadian PR - took 5 years (life in limbo), put huge amount of time, money and emotional effort into the application prosurvivingantidepressants.org0to get away from my S**T life in the UK.

Eventually got to Canada in 2010 - panic attacks started again.

Bullied at work over and over again - lost faith in humanity.

Lost my job and my health - running marathons kept me sane, now I do what I can to keep fit.

Heading back to the UK to re-settle - praying life will get better.


Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

 

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)

Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018

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