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Ann77

Is it ok to temporarily withdraw from friends?

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Ann77

Several months ago I started tapering off of lexapro. I have been on SSRI’s, off and on for a long time, so I expected to get a bit depressed and anxious. I told my 4 closest friends. I didn’t make a big deal of it, but I thought I was concise and to the point. Only one friend seemed to not want to talk about it, but, generally, I felt my friends were respectful and empathetic. The only thing I asked of them is to understand that I might not want to hang out with big large groups of people and that I cannot make definite plans to do anything this summer.
My friends do not seem to understand the severity of my depression and it’s really hurting my feelings. I try to talk to one friend, but her solution seems to be to “just relax and have fun” and she will not discuss it any further. Normally, this would amuse me, but I am highly sensitive right now. I was talking to one of her friends about depression and anxiety and my friend actually told us to stop talking about negative things because we were at the beach, having a bbq. My friend ignores emotional suffering in her own life, so I understand that she is just not one of those people you can really talk to. She is able to distract herself from her own sadness and that works for her. It’s totally admirable, but because of this she cannot relate to my complete debilitation.
Another friend seems to completely ignore the fact that I am going through this. She told me I have to come visit her, two states away, “no excuses”. she’s calling my anxiety and depression an excuse? She has been inviting me to do things constantly and I physically and mentally can’t, but she thinks I’m just lazy and unmotivated…or I’m lying?
How the hell do I explain to the common person that a drug a “doctor” said would help me actually hurt me, without them thinking I am the cliché “mental patient” that is irrationally stopping my medication? How do I get people to understand that withdrawing from these drugs is dangerous and scary and serious? These are rhetorical questions. I don’t want to explain it, because I already did. I’m tired of feeling guilty for not being as involved in life as I would like to be.
My friends are very supportive when I am who they want me to be. I am a very happy person, normally, I have anxiety and I’ve been sad, but I’ve always been able to joke about it and find solace in my friends. Things are more severe now, and my friends are making me feel bad.
I decided three says ago that I can’t talk to anyone for a while. I cannot have a conversation when  I am having suicidal thoughts. I cannot pretend to be happy to make others comfortable. Most importantly I am afraid of how sensitive I am and being and I do not want to take something my friends say the wrong way. People aren’t perfect. They are not always going to say the best things.
I am not completely withdrawn. I really like people and I need them. I found a peer support group that I have been going to the past two weeks. It’s so relaxing and refreshing to be around people that understand and the people are super cool and nice. It’s not like I want to talk much about my depression. I just want to talk to people who understand and respect that I don’t feel well right now. I want to be with people that make me feel good.
Is it bad to withdraw from friends when they end up making me feel bad and crazy and weak?

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dalsaan

It's not just ok, it's absolutely 100% appropriate. Taking responsibility for your own recovery/healing is the best and most courageous thing you can do for yourself. All power to you

 

D

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AliG

 Most people don't understand, including "friends". Personally I don't bother much anymore. I prefer   my own company, where I don't have to explain  "anything" to "anybody" !!  How can it be bad to "withdraw" from toxic people?  Just do what feels right, to you for now. I t doesn't have to stay that way, forever, but certainly while you're in "withdrawal", it could help.  I believe it's one of the best things you could do , for now.

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brassmonkey

Hi Ann--  Welcome to the group.  It's refreshing not to get the same question in a first post.  WD is a highly personal experience that is next to impossible to share.  After you've read a few of the threads here you will realize that everyone's experience is different.  Even for the people who have or are going through the same thing it is hard to understand exactly what someone else is experiencing.  For outsiders it's pretty well impossible.  Because of the severity of the symptoms it is frequently necessary to withdraw into ones self for long periods of time.  I frequently referred to it as "going to hide under my rock".  Having the support of friends is a very good thing, but that support can only go so far, and finding unconditional support is very rare.  By it's nature WD is a very "selfish" thing and one has to do what ever is necessary to get through it.

 

Now back to the same old questions you didn't ask.  It would be very helpful if you would add a signature block;

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

and you might find this one interesting too:

 

Tips for tapering off Lexapro (escitalopram) 

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