ikari Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 Hi, I'm here seeking help after I've come to a realization that my mind is not something to treat recklessly. After a bout of depersonalization, derealization, depression and all around apathy, I decided that I could handle withdrawal from a cold-turkey method of discontinuation -- after all, my perception of reality has been quite flat as of late. Wrong. I made the mistake of outright discontinuing my SSRI a week or two ago. The symptoms hit me hard today. I thought self-medicating with cannabis would be fine, totally normal. But in my opinion, and in my case, this has led to a self-destructive, cocky way of thinking. My position in life is not one that would allow for me to safely use recreational drugs on a regular basis and disregard the responsibilities I need to tend to in order to feel like I'm living a fulfilled life. I have come to believe the objectively best course of action I could take is to discontinue all recreational drug use and re-instate my SSRI, then committing to a slow taper. My lack of education on what constitutes a proper taper has made doing this difficult for me in the past. This is not the first time I've tried withdrawing. However, I have the wisdom now of knowing that there is no magic way out of it. On the subject of what I know about withdrawing -- I understand that using pill cutters and creating your own liquid version of your medicine can be helpful, but I am not sure of how to make sure I am dosing properly, or have the correct version of the pill for creating a liquid form. I was hoping I could find more direction in this area. One thing I am concerned about is re-instating my SSRI usage after roughly 2 weeks of discontinuation. How can I safely do this? Thanks, ikari ~2011-2012 ??mg Zoloft for "anxiety." I have a form of OCD with almost hypochondriatic symptoms, and I believed I had an anxiety caused breathing issue, which, in and of itself, caused anxiety. A self-creating problem. Zoloft usage discontinued with a doctor recommended tapering schedule to apparently successful results. (I discontinued Zoloft usage after I started getting severe intrusive thoughts.) ~2013-2015 Starting at what I remember to be 10mg, I was prescribed paroxetine for "OCD" after seeking treatment for my intrusive thoughts. The medication wasn't doing anything for me. Letting my doctor know that was a big mistake, because the second those words entered my doctor's ears, I was on 20mg. And then 40mg, which is where I am at today. I believe CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) may be the answer to solving my OCD-related issues, and not pharmaceuticals. I have yet to attempt therapy, but lately I've found solace in objectively viewing my thoughts and anxieties as precisely what they are and nothing more. At this point, I want to discontinue SSRI usage as I believe they are not offering me anything other than a blander, less emotional perception of reality -- something I never was really having issues with to begin with. To get personal without getting too personal, I believe my anxiety stems from some emotional and verbal familial abuse I sustained during my formative years. The way I think is inherently changed as a result of my "fight or flight" mechanism being damaged. (This is what I theorize, anyway. I've yet to speak to any medical professional educated enough on any of the subjects I've mentioned to point me in any consistent direction of treatment.) I have somewhat of a history of recreational drug usage, starting at age 14 with cannabis, and, by grave mistake, synthetic cannabis at roughly the same time. Many, so many of my personal anxiety issues stemmed from the one single time I used synthetic cannabis. I was fearing I was psychotic or schizophrenic for the longest time, but alas, my symptoms were what I have now come to understand as depersonalization and derealization disorder. Link to comment
ikari Posted August 13, 2015 Author Share Posted August 13, 2015 I have not taken my 40mg dosage of paroxetine in close to probably about two weeks now. My attempt at cold-turkey was a mistake, and now I'm stuck wondering how to safely reconfigure myself to be taking this medication again. Should I taper up? Or should I just take another pill as soon as I can? Please help. Thanks. ~2011-2012 ??mg Zoloft for "anxiety." I have a form of OCD with almost hypochondriatic symptoms, and I believed I had an anxiety caused breathing issue, which, in and of itself, caused anxiety. A self-creating problem. Zoloft usage discontinued with a doctor recommended tapering schedule to apparently successful results. (I discontinued Zoloft usage after I started getting severe intrusive thoughts.) ~2013-2015 Starting at what I remember to be 10mg, I was prescribed paroxetine for "OCD" after seeking treatment for my intrusive thoughts. The medication wasn't doing anything for me. Letting my doctor know that was a big mistake, because the second those words entered my doctor's ears, I was on 20mg. And then 40mg, which is where I am at today. I believe CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) may be the answer to solving my OCD-related issues, and not pharmaceuticals. I have yet to attempt therapy, but lately I've found solace in objectively viewing my thoughts and anxieties as precisely what they are and nothing more. At this point, I want to discontinue SSRI usage as I believe they are not offering me anything other than a blander, less emotional perception of reality -- something I never was really having issues with to begin with. To get personal without getting too personal, I believe my anxiety stems from some emotional and verbal familial abuse I sustained during my formative years. The way I think is inherently changed as a result of my "fight or flight" mechanism being damaged. (This is what I theorize, anyway. I've yet to speak to any medical professional educated enough on any of the subjects I've mentioned to point me in any consistent direction of treatment.) I have somewhat of a history of recreational drug usage, starting at age 14 with cannabis, and, by grave mistake, synthetic cannabis at roughly the same time. Many, so many of my personal anxiety issues stemmed from the one single time I used synthetic cannabis. I was fearing I was psychotic or schizophrenic for the longest time, but alas, my symptoms were what I have now come to understand as depersonalization and derealization disorder. Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 Glad you've found this place. Hang on and someone will be able to advise,. 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
nz11 Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 Welcome ikari Dont worry we are all in the same boat even the doctors themselves have a lack of education on what constitutes a safe taper. Are you able to tell us your drug history in your sig , list all the drugs names you have taken and for how long and dosages and you CT two weeks ago right? This can help people give advice to you. Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted August 13, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 13, 2015 Hello Ikari and welcome to SA. You have reached all the right conclusion. Two weeks isn't late for a successful reinstatement but you should be careful not to reinstate too much. As nz said we will be able to say more once you give us more specific details in your signature. What AD did you discontinue and how? Did you taper at all? At what dose did you stop? We should stay away from all psychoactive substances while our brains are so sensitised with withdrawal. Once again welcome. Bubble Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Toulouse Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 I'm not an expert, but if it were me, I'd taper up gradually so I don't find myself at a higher dose than necessary. Maybe try 10mg to start and see if that alleviates your symptoms. If it helps, try staying on that for 3-4 days and reassess whether to go higher. Been on Paxil 14 years. 40mg for the bulk of those. 20mg in 2014 10mg March of 2015 - then tapered to 5mg Then to 2.5 to 1.5 - to 1mg, from Mar-August. As of August 23 2015, I am flying without a net. Paxil free! WD symptoms since tapering mid- 2015: Short temper, hostile. Brain zaps. Bruxism. Wild vivid dreams Hives Food intolerance Lump in throat, . Joint pain. Knees, elbows. Pain in feet. Numbness in hands. Shaking, like I'm cold. Trembling. Tremors, muscle twitches all over. Facial tics. Eye, lips. Head. Floaters in my eyes. Severe Insomnia (between months 4-5) then returned from March-October 2016. I'm sleeping better now. Dreams have returned to normal (month 7) High levels of anxiety when around large crowds or in large rooms. Intestinal spasms, heartburn. Dizzy spells. Panic/Anxiety Attacks suddenly developed months 8 out. 4 years out, 98% feeling back to normal. (October 9 2019) Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted August 13, 2015 Administrator Share Posted August 13, 2015 Welcome, ikari. If I read your signature correctly, you have already reinstated 40mg paroxetine? Yes, if you are doing recreational drugs, now that your nervous system has been injured by paroxetine withdrawal, it would be wise to discontinue all of them, including alcohol. Read What is withdrawal syndrome? About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization Why taper by 10% of my dosage? Tips for tapering off Paxil (paroxetine) This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
ikari Posted August 13, 2015 Author Share Posted August 13, 2015 Hello Ikari and welcome to SA. You have reached all the right conclusion. Two weeks isn't late for a successful reinstatement but you should be careful not to reinstate too much. As nz said we will be able to say more once you give us more specific details in your signature. What AD did you discontinue and how? Did you taper at all? At what dose did you stop? We should stay away from all psychoactive substances while our brains are so sensitised with withdrawal. Once again welcome. Bubble I discontinued paroxetine at 40mg without a taper. And, as of today, I've reinstated 40mg paroxetine w/o a taper. I will update on how this affects me in a few days. Welcome, ikari. If I read your signature correctly, you have already reinstated 40mg paroxetine? Yes, if you are doing recreational drugs, now that your nervous system has been injured by paroxetine withdrawal, it would be wise to discontinue all of them, including alcohol. Read What is withdrawal syndrome? About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization Why taper by 10% of my dosage? Tips for tapering off Paxil (paroxetine) As of today, I am no longer using recreational drugs (well, save for a nasty cigarette addiction, but that's another beast entirely). Thanks for the links and greeting. ~2011-2012 ??mg Zoloft for "anxiety." I have a form of OCD with almost hypochondriatic symptoms, and I believed I had an anxiety caused breathing issue, which, in and of itself, caused anxiety. A self-creating problem. Zoloft usage discontinued with a doctor recommended tapering schedule to apparently successful results. (I discontinued Zoloft usage after I started getting severe intrusive thoughts.) ~2013-2015 Starting at what I remember to be 10mg, I was prescribed paroxetine for "OCD" after seeking treatment for my intrusive thoughts. The medication wasn't doing anything for me. Letting my doctor know that was a big mistake, because the second those words entered my doctor's ears, I was on 20mg. And then 40mg, which is where I am at today. I believe CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) may be the answer to solving my OCD-related issues, and not pharmaceuticals. I have yet to attempt therapy, but lately I've found solace in objectively viewing my thoughts and anxieties as precisely what they are and nothing more. At this point, I want to discontinue SSRI usage as I believe they are not offering me anything other than a blander, less emotional perception of reality -- something I never was really having issues with to begin with. To get personal without getting too personal, I believe my anxiety stems from some emotional and verbal familial abuse I sustained during my formative years. The way I think is inherently changed as a result of my "fight or flight" mechanism being damaged. (This is what I theorize, anyway. I've yet to speak to any medical professional educated enough on any of the subjects I've mentioned to point me in any consistent direction of treatment.) I have somewhat of a history of recreational drug usage, starting at age 14 with cannabis, and, by grave mistake, synthetic cannabis at roughly the same time. Many, so many of my personal anxiety issues stemmed from the one single time I used synthetic cannabis. I was fearing I was psychotic or schizophrenic for the longest time, but alas, my symptoms were what I have now come to understand as depersonalization and derealization disorder. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus JanCarol Posted August 26, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 26, 2015 Dear Ikari, Welcome to SA; here you will find people most knowledgeable about withdrawal from psych drugs. If you quit "cold turkey" (CT) from 40 mg paroxetine, went 2 weeks without, and then reinstated the full amount. I would've started with half - or even 1/4 of that, but you've started it back up so leave it there. Did you have symptoms? Is that why you reinstated? It will be good to get off of it, but paroxetine has actually had lawsuits regarding the painful withdrawals from it, so you need to get off of it very carefully. AltoStrata gave you all of the good links, I would emphasize Why taper by 10% of my dosage? Tips for tapering off Paxil (paroxetine) How are you doing after reinstating? Did you have symptoms on the full dose of paroxetine before? Were you having symptoms when you quit CT? Please use this thread as a journal, so you can track your symptoms - and your windows of relief - and refer to your improvement over time. You will improve over time, especially as you get your drug dose down. I can't promise you it will be easy, but from your quote: I've come to a realization that my mind is not something to treat recklessly. I think you are on the right track. "Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again. My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices. A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia. CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013. Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine). Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 - Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years on Lithium). Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made. The tedious thread (my intro): JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium The happy thread (my success story): JanCarol - Undiagnosed Off all bipolar drugs My own blog: https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/ I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016! Link to comment
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