Jump to content

Discussion of Anatomy of an Epidemic on psychiatrist's blog


compsports
 Share

Recommended Posts

I thought I would mention that a psychiatrist so far has done a two part analysis of Anatomy of an Epidemic and has been critical of it.

 

Ironically, he criticizes the chapter, Anecdotal Thoughts, even though psychiatry has no problems claiming that antidepressants work because they have observed that through their own experience.

 

Part II - http://thealienist.wordpress.com/2011/07/28/an-analysis-of-anatomy-of-an-epidemic-part-ii/

 

Previous analysis of Part I

 

http://thealienist.wordpress.com/2011/07/19/analysis-of-anatomy-of-an-epidemic/

 

I haven't had the brain power to do more analysis.

 

Our friend Rob Lindeman, a pediatrician, whom I recommended read the book on the Shrink Rap Blog, has done a nice job with his favorable comments about the book.

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator Emeritus

Anatomy of an Epidemic has not been popular with a lot of psychiatrists. Understandably so. People don't like to be wrong. Especially not doctors. ESPECIALLY not psychiatrists.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator Emeritus

True that, Rhi. It's hard to step down from Olympus.

 

1989 - 1992 Parnate* 

1992-1998 Paxil - pooped out*, oxazapam, inderal

1998 - 2005 Celexa - pooped out* klonopin, oxazapam, inderal

*don't remember doses

2005 -2007   Cymbalta 60 mg oxazapam, inderal, klonopin

Started taper in 2007:

CT klonopin, oxazapam, inderal (beta blocker) - 2007

Cymbalta 60mg to 30mg 2007 -2010

July 2010 - March 2018 on hiatus due to worsening w/d symptoms, which abated and finally disappeared. Then I stalled for about 5 years because I didn't want to deal with W/D.

March 2018 - May 2018 switch from 30mg Cymbalta to 20mg Celexa 

19 mg Celexa October 7, 2018

18 mg Celexa November 5, 2018

17 mg Celexa  December 2, 2019

16 mg Celexa January 6, 2018 

15 mg Celexa March 7, 2019

14 mg Celexa April 24, 2019

13 mg Celexa June 28, 2019

12.8 mg Celexa November 10, 2019

12.4 Celexa August 31, 2020

12.2 Celexa December 28, 2020

12 mg Celexa March 2021

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Great points Rhi and Baxter.

 

I think what irks me the most is the absolute refusal to even consider any alternatives to meds. I am not even asking a psychiatrist to stop prescribing them as I do agree they help some people although not as many as psychiatry thinks they do.

 

Just be open minded which apparently is too much to ask.

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator Emeritus

Well, it's hard to be open to other people's thoughts/ideas/arguments when any disagreement results in a diagnosis. So the other person is wrong basically because they're not right in the head...

 

It's quite circular and self-preserving. Ah to be a god.

 

1989 - 1992 Parnate* 

1992-1998 Paxil - pooped out*, oxazapam, inderal

1998 - 2005 Celexa - pooped out* klonopin, oxazapam, inderal

*don't remember doses

2005 -2007   Cymbalta 60 mg oxazapam, inderal, klonopin

Started taper in 2007:

CT klonopin, oxazapam, inderal (beta blocker) - 2007

Cymbalta 60mg to 30mg 2007 -2010

July 2010 - March 2018 on hiatus due to worsening w/d symptoms, which abated and finally disappeared. Then I stalled for about 5 years because I didn't want to deal with W/D.

March 2018 - May 2018 switch from 30mg Cymbalta to 20mg Celexa 

19 mg Celexa October 7, 2018

18 mg Celexa November 5, 2018

17 mg Celexa  December 2, 2019

16 mg Celexa January 6, 2018 

15 mg Celexa March 7, 2019

14 mg Celexa April 24, 2019

13 mg Celexa June 28, 2019

12.8 mg Celexa November 10, 2019

12.4 Celexa August 31, 2020

12.2 Celexa December 28, 2020

12 mg Celexa March 2021

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, it's hard to be open to other people's thoughts/ideas/arguments when any disagreement results in a diagnosis. So the other person is wrong basically because they're not right in the head...

 

It's quite circular and self-preserving. Ah to be a god.

 

So, Mr/Ms psychiatrist, tell me what it is like to be a god/goddess and never have to be questioned. Have you gotten mentoring by Biederman who said his position was god under deposition?

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here is part III

 

http://thealienist.wordpress.com/2011/08/05/an-analysis-of-anatomy-of-an-epidemic-part-iii/#more-182

 

When the guy states that ECT is a wonderful treatment in his review, our pediatrician friend, Rob Lindeman comes to the rescue when he essentially wonders how it can be successful since seizures destroy brain cells. He goes on to say that if Mr. Alienist can't come up with a better explanation that the “success” of ECT might be considered due to the mechanism of action being similar to that of the frontal leucotomy, except that it takes more whacks to achieve the desired effect.

 

God, I love Rob.

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it's good that a psychiatrist has even read it. We're making progress.

 

Some months ago I talked to a number of doctors and none had heard of whitaker, heather ashton, etc.

 

They are very isolated, by my experience. And are guided, as the old stereotype goes, by their belief in their own exceptionally exceptional cleverness. Implicit in the Whitaker hypothesis is the notion that the docs got fooled, or worse. The exceptionally exceptional would not be fooled so easily...

 

There are a million reasons why docs will instinctively dispute Whitaker. I wouldn't underestimate pride and ego.

 

alex.i

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment
Share on other sites

They are very isolated, by my experience. And are guided, as the old stereotype goes, by their belief in their own exceptionally exceptional cleverness. Implicit in the Whitaker hypothesis is the notion that the docs got fooled, or worse. The exceptionally exceptional would not be fooled so easily...

Bingo. I actually brought this up in a post I made on the blog in question. Here it is below:

 

Again, the issue here is the IDEOLOGY of psychiatry (that is, the biomedical model), not psychiatrists. In fact, you could actually see psychiatrists as innocent victims of a corrupt profession slowly dying from infrastructural rot that affords psychiatrists very few tools to best help their patients. I think that's actually true to some extent, and the sooner psychiatrists realize they sometimes only have an ILLUSION of control over their patients' outcomes, the better. After all, power has always known one of the best ways to keep people in line is to fool them into thinking they have more control than they really do (power here being big pharma and the corrupted psychiatrists who continue to cling to the medical model because it's their ticket to the gravy train).

 

It's all very similar to what's happening with the economy. Ross Perot famously said we'd hear a "giant sucking sound" caused by the jobs leaving the economy, and damn if he wasn't right. The culprit was corporate greed, which outsourced all the jobs and laid off thousands. Similarly, Big Pharma has caused a "giant sucking sound" in psychiatry, as their corporate greed (along with greedy and corrupt psychiatrists) has narrowed the modalities of care available to psychiatrists to only pills (and dwindling uses of talk therapy), and all other modalities like Soteria houses have been sucked out. Why? Because pills pay, baby. And the icing on the cake is the powers that be can count on mainstream psychiatrists to defend the status quo as psychiatrists have built their careers around the corrupted system and admitting they've been even partially duped could be devastating to their image and livelihood.

Been on SSRIs since 1998:

1998-2005: Paxil in varying doses

2005-present: Lexapro.

2006-early '08: Effexor AND Lexapro! Good thing I got off the Effexor rather quickly (within a year).

 

**PSYCHIATRY: TAKE YOUR CHEMICAL IMBALANCE AND CHOKE ON IT!

APA=FUBAR

FDA=SNAFU

NIMH=LMFAO

 

Currently tapering Lexapro ~10% every month:

 

STARTING: 15 mg

11/7/10: 13.5 mg

12/7/10: 12.2 mg

1/6/11: 10.9 mg

2/3/11: 9.8 mg

3/3/11: 8.8 mg

4/1/11: 7.8 mg

4/29/11: 7 mg

5/27/11: 6.4 mg

6/24/11: 5.7 mg

7/22/11: 5 mg

8/18/11: 4.5 mg

9/14/11: 4 mg

10/13/11: 3.6 mg

11/9/11: 3.2 mg

12/7/11: 2.6 mg

1/3/12: 2.1 mg

2/2/12: 1.8 mg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's a terrific comment, cine.

 

I agree all around and have thought a lot of those things myself.

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Administrator

Really excellent comment, cine.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Speaking of this blog, I just posted my last comment (included below).

 

But the most important thing is alienist's response to my last post:

 

I hope that over time the science will come around to answer the questions that you have brought up.

There it is, folks. This is what it looks like. The "questions I brought up" mostly entailed withdrawal and PSSD. And, at this moment, a psychiatrist has confirmed what us patients already know: all we can do is hope someday science "will come around" to look into these questions. Now, of course, there are no guarantees in scientific research and discoveries, but I can guarantee you that if we don't continue making our voices heard psychiatry and science WILL NEVER look into these vitally important issues. Shall we hope for the cavalry to arrive? NEWSFLASH: The cavalry ain't coming. WE are the cavalry. If you want something done...

 

My last post on alienist blog:

 

I just want to sum up how I feel about psychiatry from a patient's perspective. This will be my last post here.

 

I think the best comparison to draw is that psychiatry is remarkably similar to Washington now in its delusion and disconnect from the greater reality of the average citizen (or, as the case may be, psych patient). For over a decade borrowing ballooned in Washington and the debt racked up into the trillions. And yet those in Washington just kept on spending and borrowing, ignoring the alarm bells from people like Ron Paul, Paul O'Neill, Noriel Roubini and others. The political gridlock and sheer nonsense of it all peaked with the debt ceiling debacle which had no real outcome other than raising the debt ceiling yet again.

 

Then S&P came along and did the right thing and spanked the US for its toxic idiocy and downgraded our credit rating. It has come to this historic measure to send a message.

 

Using the Washington analogy, I honestly think Whitaker, Kirsch and other critics of psychiatry (but NOT those who are "anti psychiatry" — there is a difference) are the S&P of psychiatry. Psychiatry has been in denial for a long, long time about the all-out corruption of its profession. Yes, I could cite seemingly endless flawed and corrupted studies by poisoned psychiatrists like Biederman and Nemeroff and the undying legacy of the "chemical imbalance theory" (which is still being used by Dan Carlat and at least one prominent webmd psychiatrist), but for the sake of my analogy I'll cite the fact that none other than ghostwriter extraordinaire and Stanford University conflict of interest golden boy Alan Schatzberg is APA PRESIDENT. And Tom Insel, who has been suspected of being instrumental in getting Charles Nemeroff (the OTHER ghost-writer extraordinaire and conflict of interest wunderkind) appointed as chair of psychiatry at the University of Miami after he was forced to resign as chair of Psychiatry at Emory over conflict of interest disclosure issues, is the director of the NIMH!

 

In my opinion, this is quite similar to Henry Paulson being tapped by Bush to be Treasury Secretary in 2006 even as the subprime market was nearing crisis levels and Paulson was a chief architect of this meltdown due to his aggressive support of deregulation. A news report even said this in April of 2007: "All the signs I look at" show "the housing market is at or near the bottom," Paulson said in a speech to a business group in New York. The U.S. economy is "very healthy" and "robust," Paulson said."

 

But even with such toxic nonsense, at least Paulson (and Greenspan, another prime suspect in the meltdown) admitted they were wrong. You'll get no such admittance from Schatzberg, Nemeroff, Insel, etc.

 

And ultimately it took people like Kirsch and Whitaker to spank psychiatry into a much-needed dialogue. Yes, their arguments are intense and all their points may not be confirmed in hindsight, but when psychiatry chooses not to police itself, it doesn't get to choose what those who bring it to justice accuse it of. It can only offer counter arguments, and so far they've been pretty weak: back-peddling about the chemical imbalance theory ("well, it's been a discredited theory for quite some time now," or, "there's a difference between theory and fact," yet neither of these points address why this theory is still used by many psychiatrists to get their patients to take meds), the "everyone else is doing it, so why can't we?" defense that claims such corruption is endemic in all of medicine (that may be true, but if such an argument didn't work on our parents when we were kids, how can we expect it to work as grown-ups?), and the tortured logic behind claims that psychiatry is, indeed, like other medical specialties (forever the grand hope of the medical model of psychiatry!) by saying many other diseases such as cancer and hypertension have unknown etiologies. Well, that may be true, but I think Marcia Angell's point is well taken that even though we don't know what causes something like arthritis, we at least know a fair amount about the underlying mechanism and how the treatments (anti-inflammatories) work. Psychiatry knows neither about underlying biologic mechanisms of mental illness or how its treatments work, yet it still claims to be a medically-based profession.

 

But the ultimate counter-argument is evidence. What evidence is there that clearly shows the long-term efficacy (and safety) of antidepressants? I don't know of any. Unbiased, longitudinal (I'm talking at least five years, and ten years would be that much better) outcome studies comparing antidepressants to placebo and other therapeutic modalities like CBT and other talk therapies are vitally needed, but I don't hear anyone but Whitaker crying out for such studies. I think it's quite telling that in the 25 years since Prozac was introduced, only one such study, the STAR*D trial, was conducted, and it wasn't exactly a rollicking success for antidepressants. Even if it was indeed a sloppy study, that's even more reason to conduct a fresh longitudinal study with lessons learned from the STAR*D trial, but I don't see psychiatry advocating for that.

 

In fact, the only one I see actively taking steps to begin unbiased psychiatric studies and to disseminate unbiased information is Whitaker, who set up his foundation expressly for those purposes.

 

In conclusion, I will quote the psychiatrist at oneboringoldman.com, who has neatly summed up how I feel about psychiatry and the direction it should take in the future:

 

"Dr. Angell writes a stinging indictment of Psychiatry and the modern turn to psychopharmacology. She sees psychiatry as way off base right now. In 'The Illusions of Psychiatry': An Exchange, several prominent Psychiatrists acknowledge the problems, but go on to defend the specialty and its current directions. I think that's a mistake. While I agree that some of the anti-medication current in many recent writings may go too far, in my opinion, it's not the place of psychiatrists to defend anything right now. That's for later, if and when we've restored some credibility to our scientific processes and literature, when our evidence is based on genuine science. Right now, right-thinking psychiatrists need to focus on clearing out the forces among us that have made our specialty a target of mockery.

 

I'd rather join forces with the efforts…to end ghostwriting and insist on transparency in our scientific literature. With the likes of Nemeroff, Schatzberg, Biederman, and many others prominently in our midst, we haven't got a leg to stand on in defense of anything…"

Been on SSRIs since 1998:

1998-2005: Paxil in varying doses

2005-present: Lexapro.

2006-early '08: Effexor AND Lexapro! Good thing I got off the Effexor rather quickly (within a year).

 

**PSYCHIATRY: TAKE YOUR CHEMICAL IMBALANCE AND CHOKE ON IT!

APA=FUBAR

FDA=SNAFU

NIMH=LMFAO

 

Currently tapering Lexapro ~10% every month:

 

STARTING: 15 mg

11/7/10: 13.5 mg

12/7/10: 12.2 mg

1/6/11: 10.9 mg

2/3/11: 9.8 mg

3/3/11: 8.8 mg

4/1/11: 7.8 mg

4/29/11: 7 mg

5/27/11: 6.4 mg

6/24/11: 5.7 mg

7/22/11: 5 mg

8/18/11: 4.5 mg

9/14/11: 4 mg

10/13/11: 3.6 mg

11/9/11: 3.2 mg

12/7/11: 2.6 mg

1/3/12: 2.1 mg

2/2/12: 1.8 mg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Administrator

Speaking of this blog, I just posted my last comment (included below).

 

But the most important thing is alienist's response to my last post:

 

I hope that over time the science will come around to answer the questions that you have brought up.

Over time? With more than 10% of the US population over 6 medicated??? Pharmapsychiatry is going to have its nose rubbed in the muck of patient injury a lot sooner than "science" will answer these questions.

 

cine, enjoy your semi-gonzo parallels to economic disaster.

 

(PS Schatzberg is past prez of APA. His election truly was an embarrassing day for psychiatry.)

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the comments and righteous outrage Alto.

 

Thanks too for the correction about Schatzberg. Do you know who the current APA prez is?

Been on SSRIs since 1998:

1998-2005: Paxil in varying doses

2005-present: Lexapro.

2006-early '08: Effexor AND Lexapro! Good thing I got off the Effexor rather quickly (within a year).

 

**PSYCHIATRY: TAKE YOUR CHEMICAL IMBALANCE AND CHOKE ON IT!

APA=FUBAR

FDA=SNAFU

NIMH=LMFAO

 

Currently tapering Lexapro ~10% every month:

 

STARTING: 15 mg

11/7/10: 13.5 mg

12/7/10: 12.2 mg

1/6/11: 10.9 mg

2/3/11: 9.8 mg

3/3/11: 8.8 mg

4/1/11: 7.8 mg

4/29/11: 7 mg

5/27/11: 6.4 mg

6/24/11: 5.7 mg

7/22/11: 5 mg

8/18/11: 4.5 mg

9/14/11: 4 mg

10/13/11: 3.6 mg

11/9/11: 3.2 mg

12/7/11: 2.6 mg

1/3/12: 2.1 mg

2/2/12: 1.8 mg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Administrator

Google and ye shall find.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Cine,

 

Powerful stuff. I know that pain and you express so much that I feel. I think you're a terrific writer and you argue extremely well. You have the truth on your side to boot!

 

When the cavalry comes, you'll be at the fore. At least I hope so.

 

I think your analogy to the economic situation is potent, rhetorically. However, IMO, the downside of that linking strategy is that the politics are so charged with emotion you may lose the argument on the feelings while being right on the facts. That is, people who dislike Joe Politician -- think he's wrong, an idiot, evil, whatever -- may tune you out if you use Joe's economic arguments (regardless of their merit) to bolster your case about what's happening in pharma-psychiatry.

 

I hope you don't take this as criticism. I'm with you, actually, as an unemployed person who has seen prosperity fail right as my turn in line should have come up.

 

IMO, the case against psychiatry is powerful independent of macro-economic or political trends. And sufferers will come to people like you searching for hope and answers. They'll be from the right & left; they'll carry their political opinions along with them.

 

Just something to consider. Overall, great work per usual.

 

Alex.i

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think your analogy to the economic situation is potent, rhetorically. However, IMO, the downside of that linking strategy is that the politics are so charged with emotion you may lose the argument on the feelings while being right on the facts. That is, people who dislike Joe Politician -- think he's wrong, an idiot, evil, whatever -- may tune you out if you use Joe's economic arguments (regardless of their merit) to bolster your case about what's happening in pharma-psychiatry.

Excellent points (as always!) alex. I agree that further polarization among psychiatry may not be such a great idea, even if my analogy is apt.

 

I'm with you, actually, as an unemployed person who has seen prosperity fail right as my turn in line should have come up.

You have your finger on the zeitgeist of this country's youth, alex. I couldn't have put it better. My god, have you seen the student-loan blogs, the student lawyer blogs, and the economy blogs? It's ugly out there, and when coupled with the market volatility of the last couple days, it looks downright ominous. The powers that be seem dreadfully out of touch with reality which will only make things worse. The sense of betrayal the youth of the US feel (everything from psychiatry to higher ed to the economy) is amazing and only gaining steam every day.

 

Something will happen, sooner or later. And I doubt it will be good. But the pain is pretty much inevitable at this point, and the pain may lead to good things down the line.

Been on SSRIs since 1998:

1998-2005: Paxil in varying doses

2005-present: Lexapro.

2006-early '08: Effexor AND Lexapro! Good thing I got off the Effexor rather quickly (within a year).

 

**PSYCHIATRY: TAKE YOUR CHEMICAL IMBALANCE AND CHOKE ON IT!

APA=FUBAR

FDA=SNAFU

NIMH=LMFAO

 

Currently tapering Lexapro ~10% every month:

 

STARTING: 15 mg

11/7/10: 13.5 mg

12/7/10: 12.2 mg

1/6/11: 10.9 mg

2/3/11: 9.8 mg

3/3/11: 8.8 mg

4/1/11: 7.8 mg

4/29/11: 7 mg

5/27/11: 6.4 mg

6/24/11: 5.7 mg

7/22/11: 5 mg

8/18/11: 4.5 mg

9/14/11: 4 mg

10/13/11: 3.6 mg

11/9/11: 3.2 mg

12/7/11: 2.6 mg

1/3/12: 2.1 mg

2/2/12: 1.8 mg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, the student loan situation is particularly appalling to me since it's such a fraud and the debt can never be discharged. I know people who went to nottop100 law schools and wound up w/ $150,000+ debt and a $13/hr job. This debt is inescapable and job-limbo seems like it's going the same way -- unless your parents know somebody, basically.

 

So much is baked in the cake, as they say.

 

Personally my fall has been a slo-mo... over a cliff... banging my head all the way down.

 

Ever heard the old Hemingway line about how bankruptcy happens, "gradually, and then suddenly." For me it was the opposite. I had an impulse problem and blew up everything in like 6 months. I went to a rehab where I was cold-turkey'd off benzos and I took a few years to bottom out. Years of shifting meds, sober houses, etc. I lost more than money but reputation and relationships.

 

Some might think it'd be blame shifting to say that pharmaceuticals caused my fall, but it's not. It's a very sad truth. I've been wrecked and have only recently been able to start to get things in order. But at any point my health may turn against me. I live now for the chance to be the me that I've never been due to misdiagnosis and the poorly understood nature of w/d.

 

I formally filed bankruptcy last year. My total assets were $6600 and my car accounted for $6500 of that.

 

As much as the bigger picture frightens me, I try to focus on the smaller picture, taking things a day at a time, all that. Some of the stuff I learned in AA and CBT helps me.

 

I do follow the financial markets as an interest. Before my personal fall, I was an active investor. Nobody knows what will happen, but IMO our present situation is not-rosy. Furthermore it is not-rosy in a complicated way, so I tend towards the pessimistic outlook while remembering that nobody knows.

 

Whatever happens I don't get much of a say in the matter. Our country is still a democracy but seems run less out of the White House than the commodities desk at Goldman Sachs. I saw somebody's recent joke about democracy in a comment on a blog, i don't know who said it ... Democracy in the US is the illusion that my wife and I have double the political power of David Rockefeller.

 

...

 

I think you do a great job contributing and making your voice heard, cine. It's been good for me to hear you, someone of my sex and fairly close in age. I feel pretty alien when I'm among my 'peers' in real life.

 

Keep hanging in. Keep up the good work.

 

Alex.i

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy