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Trichotomous

Trichotomous: Hi. I've been off Paroxetine for two months

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Trichotomous

Hello. I'm "Trinity" from PaxilProgress, which shut down last year without my knowledge.

 

I'll try not to go into a long-winded summary of my life, but....

 

Depression began to manifest itself during puberty; episodes became more dramatic the older I got. I began Paxil in 1998, during a depressive episode that had taken total control over my life. I started on 10mg and went to 20mg perhaps a week later.

 

I changed into a new person almost immediately. I could be jovial and outgoing, but lost all sense of priority. I lost most sexual function within two weeks of starting the drug. I was reckless and exhibited very poor decision-making. I couldn't think clearly or quickly. I slept poorly. While I had enough energy for work, I could spend entire days and weekends sleeping. It was as if I were drunk most of the time. I had them before, and I continued to have ugly temper tantrums regularly, just like a two-year-old.

 

Around 2006, I fed up with being tired and stupid, so I dropped from 20mg to 10mg. I suffered the “electrical shocks,” dizziness, and other typical withdrawals, but I got through them and achieved a greater presence of mind—though I was absolutely not myself. I still had temper tantrums at least monthly. The side-effects I described, above, improved, but did not disappear. Not at all.

 

I planned the next withdrawal for summer vacation, when I would have less stress.

 

In June of 2014, I went from 10mg to 5mg. The withdrawals wore the same face, but weren’t as strong as before. This was an awful time for me, as I had an abusive, hostile boss who clearly took delight in tormenting employees she didn't "like." I became exceedingly emotional. Once I got upset, I stayed upset for a long time, unable to bounce back from anything. I would obsess over setbacks, conversations, and my professional standing in the community. This obsessiveness caused me a lot of heartache. On the positive side, the temper tantrums largely stopped, and I didn’t feel tired all the time. I didn’t need to sleep or nap like before.

 

I planned the next withdrawal for summer vacation, when I would have less stress.

 

In June of 2015, I stopped taking Paroxetine altogether. I suffered very little in the way of physical side-effects, just a little something for a few days. My mind is gradually clearing, as if someone had taken a wet, heavy blanket off my brain. My perception and reasoning has improved by leaps and bounds. I experience a wider range of emotions. I cried while listening to a love song that reminded me of my wife, when I had not been able to cry in years. Though she continues trying, my boss isn’t able to upset me as easily as before. I don’t care about her the way I used to. I’m more able to recognize what she is doing and dismiss it. Things that would wound me so deeply before aren’t much more than noise, now.  I am able to see my past from a new perspective, with renewed clarity. I apologized to people I had offended over the years with my clumsy, highly emotional and unreasonable behavior.

 

I am far from happy-go-lucky, and I doubt I’ll never be just that. There is a darkness that calls to me. I think my mother had this, as well, and would busy herself like a madwoman, because that sort of behavior works very well to preoccupy the mind. I really need some productive obsessions right now!

 

A lot of emotional improvement I’m enjoying could just be the effects of age—I’m not a kid, anymore. However, and without a doubt, the drug was confining my emotions to a certain range and limiting my ability to overcome adversity. I feel it heightened negative emotions and fears and robbed me of the emotional recovery normal people enjoy. My mind is free, which is at once liberating and terrifying. “What if?” That creeps into my brain more often than I would wish.

 

I want a new job. Not so easy a thing to do, here in a cesspool of economic despair, but I want to make the world a better place, and I don’t think I can do that where I am, doing what I do now. A bucket of crabs comes to mind, and that’s not the sort of energy I want in my life right now.

 

So, there we have it: A rambling summary of my nearly two decade dependency upon psychotropic medication. While it saw me through a particularly hurtful period in my life, the loss of cognitive, emotional, and sexual function for the following 17 years was NOT worth the price of admission. I clearly should have been doing something different, because people aren’t meant to live life in a stupor.

 

 

 

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Trichotomous

Seventeen years after starting, I'm off Paroxetine. Fingers crossed!

 

Take care, and God bless!

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cymbaltawithdrawal5600

Welcome to SA. As this appears to be more of an introduction post to your situation, a mod will probably move this to the introductions forum and add your member name to it. You can also send a PM to Altostrata, the Admin, if you would like to be known here by the same handle as PP. If it has been taken, you could try "Trinity from PP" or some such. Just tell her what you would like. You can continue adding your information to this topic, ask questions and communicate with other members here or in their topics just like PP. Someone will add helpful links for you to read to get your signature attached to your posts. I am sure you will quickly find the other PP members here too, many have the same names.

 

Again, welcome to the site!

 

Edited to add:

 

It looks like you 'jumped' at 5 mg paroxetine which may set you up for protracted withdrawal syndrome down the road. That is quite a leap. I went CT off my meds (unplanned) and wd syndrome did not start to manifest in earnest until a year later and it was too late to reinstate and taper properly. We have a different approach here to reducing meds. Someone will be along to add links and explain why you might want to add a little paroxetine back in and taper the last bit much more slowly.

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Trichotomous

I don't care about the name; it's not real, anyway. They can move this, too—doesn't bother me.

 

The jump from 10 to 5 was a tough one. I wouldn't want to do it again. Probably would have been smoother had my boss not been a cruel, neurotic narcissist. But it's always tough to reduce this medication, and the effects of doing so can take weeks, months, and perhaps longer to manefest. The physical stuff you notice right away, just hours after any change in dosage. The rest of it can kinda sneak up on you. I am FULLY aware of this. There's not a day that goes by wherein I don't stop myself and take an emotional inventory, so to speak. But I'm not going back. I may try another drug, but never this one, never again. What finally did it was the recent long-term study linking this and similar medications to dementia. As if I didn't have enough to worry about already! :lol:

 

I'll just take it one day at a time, and call the doctor if it ever gets to be too crazy.

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cymbaltawithdrawal5600

And I tried to reply to your other topic and it got moved out from under me and caused an error. What my reply was:

 

As you wish, just trying to be helpful here.

 

All of us worry about dementia and other long term effects from these awful meds - if we only had known (but they refused to tell us).

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brassmonkey

Hi Trinity-- Welcome to the group, it's been a while, but I so glad you've found us.  There are a bunch of old friends here that should be popping up pretty soon.

 

One thing I have learned here is the importance of taking the last little bit very slowly.  The last 5 mg are the  hardest and most important to get right.

 

Tapering to zero -- when do you just drop off? 

 

If you could take a few minutes and fill out a signature block it would be really helpful;

 

 

Please put your withdrawal history in your signature

 

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Trichotomous

I think I sort of hijacked a thread a while back, running off at the mouth, and got suspended for it. I want to publicly apologize to anyone I may have offended or any harm I may have done.

 

Since I stopped taking Paxil this summer, I have been on a roller coaster rise of sorts. At times, I'm almost manic, and don't know when to shut up. I have long struggled with social norms. I suspect I was running a little hot at the time and therefor less than considerate. Unfortunately, I did not actually taper off the drug, but made sudden, significant reductions in dosage. This is likely indicative of some very poor decision making on my part, ignoring as I did known advise to taper gradually. My changes resulted in big mood swings I've struggled to control ever since.

 

So don't do what I did!

 

Again, I am sorry, and will be doubly cautious and considerate in the future.

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Esperanca

Hello Trichotomous. 

Thank you so much for the description of your experience, so others do not make the same mistake, especially me, I'm starting to withdral.
 
Be blessed by the angels and do not lose hope to make your withdrawal. One day we come out and we can tell our stories and experiences.
 
Big hug

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Trichotomous

Now it's been six months?

 

Physical side effects from withdrawal were mild and short-lived.

 

Emotional challenges have come at me with a vengeance.

 

Everything started with mild anxiety. That grew worse as stresses at work began piling on. Now, I'm desperately trying to self-medicate without going back to antidepressants.

 

I struggle with stress intolerance; crippling self-doubt; and long-term lack of sleep and all of its assorted side-effects.

 

I was OK until I returned to work, which has become extremely hostile. And, no—that is definitely not in my head. Everyone at work is on pins & needles. I just tolerate the stress poorly.

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Sarabera

Hi Trichotomous,

I just posted an excerpt from a blog on healing from AD usage, it seems quite applicable to your situation, and the emotional turmoil you are going through. I'll try and paste a link, though for some reason my "paste" function isn't working well right now.

 

 Oh well, it works in the quotes.

I've been very fortunate in that I haven't (as far as I know!) had the wild emotions from juggling dosage around, and I also am self-employed, so I don't have to deal with most of that trauma (though clients can be the worst bosses ever at times!).

 

What are you doing right now to "self-medicate" and ameliorate the sleep situation?

Sarah

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Trichotomous

That was a fantastic article. I quite needed to read those insights.

 

I'm not self-employed. I'm a public school teacher. Unfortunately, my state government began attacking our pay, benefits, and union protections a few years ago. The result has turned a dream job into a daily nightmare of stress and fear. Because you want the people caring for your children to be miserable, right? It's all part & parcel of the national plan to privatize public education. Alas....

 

Fortunately, I don't drink or do drugs. At least, I think it's fortunate.

 

These are the things I'm trying right now:

 

Enteric coated fish oil 1000 mg/300 mg
Super B-Complex
--Vitamin C 150 mg
--Thiamin 100 mg
--Riboflavin 20 mg
--Niacin 25 mg
--Vitamin B6 2 mg
--Folic Acid 400 mcg
--Vitamin B12 15 mcg
--Biotin 30 mcg
--Panothenic Acid 5.5 mg
Vitamin C 1000 mg
Rose Hips 8 mg
Vitamin D3 5000 iu (as D3 Cholecalciferol)
Biotin 10,000 mcg
DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) ~12.5 mg/day for 1 week followed by 1 week off

Iodine (from Atlantic Kelp and Potasium Iodide) 225 mcg
Selenium 200 mcg
Magnesium 250 mg
Zinc 50 mg

 

I take the following EVERY DAY:

 

• Enteric coated fish oil 1000 mg/300 mg
• Super B-Complex
• Vitamin C 1000 mg / rose Hips 8 mg
• Vitamin D3 5000 iu (as D3 Cholecalciferol)

 

I split the DHEA into quarters and take one piece, once a day for a week. Then I go a week without. I try not to take the iodine & selenium along with the DHEA.

 

TODAY, I took the following:

 

• Enteric coated fish oil 1000 mg/300 mg
• Super B-Complex
• Vitamin C 1000 mg / rose Hips 8 mg
• Vitamin D3 5000 iu (as D3 Cholecalciferol)

• Biotin 10,000 mcg
• DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) ~12.5 mg

• Magnesium 250 mg
• Zinc 50 mg

 

Where I was an anxious, nervous wreck in the morning, I calmed down substantially during the hours after taking these supplements. I remained aware of my worries, but not haunted by them. The obsessive nature of my anxiety retreated entirely. Now, I'm pretty sure what will happen is that I will go to sleep very quickly as always, but awake in a panic some time in the early morning.

 

Mornings are the worst time of day for me. It's a little better if I load up on the supplements before leaving the house.

 

This continuing lack of sleep is eroding my energy and negatively impacting every aspect of my life. I've never felt so lethargic in my life. Even when I was on 20 mg/day of Paroxetive and slept away entire weekends, I was still able to push through the workday and even enjoy hobby activities. Now, I don't want to do much of anything. At work, I'm entirely worthless after eating lunch.

 

I take 5 mg of Melatonin on occasion, to fall asleep after a very stressful day. It only helps me fall asleep, not stay asleep. That's where I'm having trouble. Unisom sleep tablets can help a bit, but render me in terrible shape the next day. I have to remember to look for a slow-release Melatonin. Or a less stressful career.

 

I wonder how much better I'd feel if I could just get a regular night's rest again. Not for a day, but for a week, month, and beyond.

 

Having a lot of trouble with executive decision making. Now, I've never been good at it. I have a genius-level IQ, but can't realize my potential because I'm so damn flighty. However, it's worse of late. I think this may relate back to the lack of sleep. It's been months, now.

 

Perchance to dream....

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Fresh

Welcome back Trichotomous.

Those of us who've experienced the manic-type , hostile irritability understand how it can get sometimes.

Enough said.

 

I can see you're taking everything that might help. Is it an option to take a few months leave from work to let yourself get through this without additional stress?

 

Best wishes , Fresh

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Trichotomous

Yeah....I can't do that. I have to fight through it or get another job. Hence the desperation to get this under control postehaste.

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Trichotomous

It's alarming to read my first post, as that person has become nearly unrecognizable. No talk of stress intolerance and perpetual anxiety. The "awakening" aspect of withdrawal is most strongly felt during that initial period of a couple months. Brain chemistry adapts slowly over many more months, allowing an entirely different host of emotional and cognitive predilections to move in.

 

This journal has become a good way to document the myriad facets of withdrawal, if not just the downward spiral of my life.

 

Yesterday, I took the following:

Enteric coated fish oil 1000 mg/300 mg
Super B-Complex
•  Vitamin C 150 mg
•  Thiamin 100 mg
•  Riboflavin 20 mg
•  Niacin 25 mg
•  Vitamin B6 2 mg
•  Folic Acid 400 mcg
•  Vitamin B12 15 mcg
•  Biotin 30 mcg
•  Panothenic Acid 5.5 mg
Vitamin C 1000 mg
•  Rose Hips 8 mg
Vitamin D3 5000 iu (as D3 Cholecalciferol)
Biotin 10,000 mcg
Iodine (from Atlantic Kelp and Potasium Iodide) 225 mcg
Selenium 200 mcg
Magnesium 250 mg
Zinc 50 mg

 

I felt the missed dose of DHEA by that afternoon. Emotions become slightly more tender and exposed. I didn't break down into tears or anything, but I am acutely aware of feelings reaching levels that simply did not exist the day before. DHEA rebuilds a masculine sense of self confidence, which I suspect grows damaged with age. During the first week, I felt an inner aggressiveness akin to what I carried in my twenties, although it was manageable with my older brain. I was not the bristling time bomb of yesteryear, but simply sharper, more nimble of thought, steadfast and shielded by a mildly derisive perception.

 

DHEA seems to do a number of good things in mature men. It temporarily curbs many symptoms of depression. It does, however, seem to raise blood pressure, and may cause constipation when taken for an extended period.

 

I fell asleep quickly, as always, and awoke around 4:30, with considerable difficulty falling back asleep, but without intense anxiety.

 

I've long noted the initial calming affect of iodine, which seems to invert over a period of several days. Perhaps invert is not correct. The initial benefits can certainly subside. After a couple weeks, the zen-like peace and tranquility felt after the first dose becomes a faded memory. You can be as anxious and fearful as ever—perhaps moreso.

 

I'm suspecting that magnesium by itself has a calming effect on the central nervous system, but I've not taken it apart from iodine, selenium, and zinc long enough to form a stronger opinion. All I know is that I feel a little something else when I take it.

 

Anyway, after the supplement cocktail, above, I felt a bit of peace, with an undercurrent of anxiety that kept its place in the distance, but never entirely went away.

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Trichotomous

I'm about done with insomnia. I'm going to try something: For the rest of this week, I will stick to the supplements I've taken for years prior.

 

Enteric coated fish oil 1000 mg/300 mg
Super B-Complex
•  Vitamin C 150 mg
•  Thiamin 100 mg
•  Riboflavin 20 mg
•  Niacin 25 mg
•  Vitamin B6 2 mg
•  Folic Acid 400 mcg
•  Vitamin B12 15 mcg
•  Biotin 30 mcg
•  Panothenic Acid 5.5 mg
Vitamin C 1000 mg
•  Rose Hips 8 mg
Vitamin D3 5000 iu (as D3 Cholecalciferol)

 

Just to see if my sleep improves. Will report during the weekend.

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Trichotomous

My sleep improved slightly after a couple days without the other supplements. Then I had a bad day at work and my sleep went to hell.

 

I took the following this morning:

 

Enteric coated fish oil 1000 mg/300 mg
Super B-Complex
•  Vitamin C 150 mg
•  Thiamin 100 mg
•  Riboflavin 20 mg
•  Niacin 25 mg
•  Vitamin B6 2 mg
•  Folic Acid 400 mcg
•  Vitamin B12 15 mcg
•  Biotin 30 mcg
•  Panothenic Acid 5.5 mg
Vitamin C 1000 mg
•  Rose Hips 8 mg
Vitamin D3 5000 iu (as D3 Cholecalciferol)
Biotin 10,000 mcg
Iodine (from Atlantic Kelp and Potasium Iodide) 225 mcg
Selenium 200 mcg
 

Where I had been a nervous wreck all of Monday, I was completely calm and relaxed throughout the day. Working at an inner-city school, this is no mean feat! And I had almost no sleep last night.

 

Iodine was like a magic bullet today. But you never know what you'll need tomorrow.

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Christian

Hi. It sounds like you have only one symptom. It's a big one which I have too. But if I'm understanding correctly you don't have that constant, extreme anxiety anymore right ? Did you ever have it? Are you on a different SSRI now?

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Trichotomous

Reading my last post, my sleep went back to crap while taking a bare minimum of supplements. Any change I noted was short lived. I've been taking EVERYTHING on the list for a week at this point.

 

I'm not on any SSRI.

 

I'm not having constant, extreme anxiety. I haven't really had that, neither constant nor extreme—not as I understand extreme, anyway. From what I've read, my anxiety is mild compared to some. It was always hitting my at night, waking me 3-4 hours after lying down. I was unable to stop worrying about work. I kept seeing myself losing my job, home, and everything. That anxiety kept me from falling back asleep. When it came time to ready for work, I remained fearful. I didn't want to be alone; I needed someone to talk to. This anxiety would gradually lessen through the day. By evening, I felt better. I was usually able to fall asleep quickly. But I'd awake 3-4 hours later, and it the anxiety would begin anew.

 

I have to point out that this isn't an unfounded, irrational anxiety. Work really does suck; my boss is an evil, (barely) functional psychopath. I'm simply NOT wired NOT to care about my job. It's an integral part of my entire identity I'd rather not be without.

 

DHEA has been a blessing. When I was younger, depression would manifest as aggression or anger, which bothered those around me more than it bothered me. Now that the hormones have changed, depression manifests as anxiety, which affects me a lot and everyone around me less so. DHEA reduces my emotional sensitivity and obsessive worrying. I've just started getting nights with good sleep. Not every night is good, but I've gotten a couple. Any sleep is nice when you've been without for a while.

 

I don't know how long I can safely take DHEA. I rather suspect I can stretch it out, as the dose I'm taking (12.5 mg) is extremely low, compared to studies conducted with far higher doses and linked to mild side effects. I hope I can take it for a while. Not only is it helping my head, but it makes my joints and muscles feel twenty years younger. This encourages exercise, which has always been the greatest antidepressant I've ever known.

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Trichotomous

LOL. I said something about exercise. How cute. When I get home two hours before I need to go to bed, exercise is usually the last thing I'm thinking of. It would be nice, though.

 

Anyway....

 

Enteric coated fish oil 1000 mg/300 mg
Super B-Complex
•  Vitamin C 150 mg
•  Thiamin 100 mg
•  Riboflavin 20 mg
•  Niacin 25 mg
•  Vitamin B6 2 mg
•  Folic Acid 400 mcg
•  Vitamin B12 15 mcg
•  Biotin 30 mcg
•  Panothenic Acid 5.5 mg
Vitamin C 1000 mg
•  Rose Hips 8 mg
Vitamin D3 5000 iu (as D3 Cholecalciferol)
Biotin 10,000 mcg

DHEA 12.5 mg
Iodine (from Atlantic Kelp and Potasium Iodide) 225 mcg
Selenium 200 mcg
Magnesium 250 mg
Zinc 50 mg

 

I'm taking all that every day. Done so for a couple weeks. And I've learned a bit about the efficacy of these supplements.

 

When I was switching back and forth, when I was taking DHEA for one week but not the next, I was unable to stabilize. Same with iodine, by the way. So I got to enjoy many anxiety-filled days of doom and gloom, soliciting reassurances from colleagues willing to listen to me whine, and basically being a complete mockery of a man.

 

But then I read summaries of a few DHEA trials involving dosages far in excess of what I was taking, taken for months on end, and still these amounts are being considered safe or associated with limited side effects. So I figured, what the hell—I'll stay on it for a measurable duration. Doing so has helped avoid a slight bit of hostility noticed each time I started DHEA anew. And continued intake of iodine results in a more consistent calmness during that most important working part of my day. Gone is the initial calm yielding to increased anxiety. I stay in control. I mean, I am really in control. I don't teach in a technicolor suburban utopia—I teach in Hell. And it can't invoke the weakest shadow of the despair or rage I've felt in the past. This crap just rolls off my back. It has never done that, not even when I was dosed up on Paxil.

 

Boss is still a complete loser, though. A scarcely functioning psychotic, truth be told.

 

Cognition is fast slipping the chains of that insidious anxiety, growing more formidable each day. The abstract and incalculable falls within easy reach. I perceive and express effortlessly. The immobilizing doubts and fears that kept me cowering in life's darkest corners are disintegrating.

 

I'm sleeping better, now, but not as well as I'd wish. I can have a bad night with but 3-4 hours' sleep, should something weighty enough hit me. Still, I can't help but feel this will pass.

 

Time will tell. Perhaps in another few weeks, I'll get to laugh at myself and my foolish notions yet again.

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Sarabera

Good to hear that things seem to be on an upward trend. 4 hours of sleep is usually enough to function, though still feel mostly like crap. My sleep has been all over the place lately, but I get a lot of really good nights (like 7 plus hours), alternating with zero or 2-3--wierd. I'm tapering off a mild benzo dependence.

Sarah

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SquirrellyGirl

Hi Trichotomous,

 

I am wondering if you have done self-care in terms of dealing with the stressful thoughts about work?  Mindfulness meditation?  Recognizing that our thoughts cause our suffering?  Worrying about the future might seem justified given the nature of your work environment, yet the worry doesn't solve anything.  No body can predict or control the future, ultimately, so it is wasted energy.  I know that it is hard to stop the monkey brain when it is engaged, but it may help to simply notice when the thoughts go off like that, accept and let them float on by.  Or think "there my thoughts go running away with me, but that doesn't do me any good" and then take some deep meditative breathes.  It isn't easy in the beginning, but the more you practice awareness and try to stay in the present moment, the better you will be able to handle stress.  I know I get a lot of comfort from listening to youtube videos of Eckhart Tolle speaking about fear and anxiety, and my favorite, "The Pain Body."  I know Christian was telling me that he was listening to a Claire Weekes audio book, so I went to youtube and found some recordings of her, very helpful. Just listening to these things is a good distraction in their own right :-)

 

Do you take magnesium at bedtime?  I take it AM/PM.   I've seen discussions about B vitamins actually being activating for some people, though generally we think of them being good for stress.  Just something to consider.

 

SG

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Trichotomous

It's been a month since my last post. I continue to consume that laundry list of supplements every morning.

 

I no longer awake in the middle of every night, awake with intense feelings of anxiety and panic. This is not to say I sleep quite the way I wish, because I don't. I often have bad nights. But I'm not laying in bed, feeling like I'm on fire, so anxious about work I can't think of anything else. That does not happen. But I do toss and turn a lot. I often have difficulty falling back asleep once something—anything—wakes me up. Once in a while, I sleep great. But it's rare. On the plus side, I never need an alarm.

 

I don't experience intense anxiety in the mornings the way I had earlier. I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm not obsessing over work.

 

I don't get angry very easily these days. In fact, I just don't get worked up at all about things that would have driven me insane even while I was on Paxil. My perspective has undergone a paradigm shift, and now I just HATE getting upset, worrying, or being loud. I like everything to be happy, relaxed, and fun. I can't stand being around certain coworkers anymore, because they exude stress and anxiety. LOL. Now, that's funny.

 

The drawback to this is that I now see certain people as uptight, miserable, angry a-holes. I didn't notice as much before. Now I do, and it bothers me. I don't want to be around it.

 

So I don't much give a crap about my current job. I realize I am wasting my life and potential fussing over deck chairs on the Titanic. I just want off. Would love to work at a school system that isn't in financial free-fall and actually works for the betterment of mankind. That would be nice.

 

And that is what a month of DHEA and iodine has done for me. Body and brain are both working better than they have in the past 20 years. Except for the sleep. I do wish that was better.

 

As an aside, my beloved wife notices that iodine has significantly improved her emotions, reduced her stress and appetite. She's got a very tough job, herself. We both need a change.

 

Peace!

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Sarabera

Hi Trich--your last post sounds very upbeat! Great to hear! I like the part about noticing how others are angry a-holes, that is funny. If you are getting some sleep, that is good. I've had a pretty wild ride for the last few months, but hopefully I'm figuring out what is really going on, and getting off my devil drug (amitryptiline) very soon.

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Trichotomous

Well, I definitely have a greater appreciation for the advice given to gradually taper off the drugs. I've paid a heavy price for NOT doing so.

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AliG

Tri .      You must be rattling , with that list of supplements. That is some " cocktail " , you are on  !  Do you feel they have helped you ?  I know you said the DHEA & Iodine has had a positive impact on your body /brain , but what about the rest of your vitamins & minerals etc.   How do you tell what is working , or not ?  

 

What do you attribute your improvement to ?  The supplements or just your time off the drugs  ? 

Ali

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Trichotomous

I've been taking fish oil, B, C, and D for years. Never really noticed much more than a little extra energy and bright yellow pee.

 

Started taking biotin a year back. My hair is thicker than before. It used to be so thin that clippers wouldn't cut it unless it was damp. Not any more!

 

The rest of it I began back in January. Without proper guidance, I played around with frequencies, which had an adverse effect, overall. It wasn't until I began taking everything daily that I leveled out.

 

I attribute my improved emotional and cognitive health to the supplements. I begin to deteriorate after a day without iodine or DHEA. In fact, I tested which supplement was responsible for which improvements by halting DHEA for ten days. While I didn't get the near-constant anxiety I had before, my depression gradually worsened. After a week, I felt a lingering sadness not connected to anything going on in my life. It was if my emotional center just moved more toward despair.

 

Started back on DHEA last Wednesday or Thursday, and my head straightened out a little more each day.

 

Not sure how I'll manage DHEA going into the future, as suspected two side effects—weight gain and acne—became apparent after a month's use.

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Trichotomous

Now it's May.

 

Thought I'd share my recent experiences, in case they turn into something serious.

 

Enteric coated fish oil 1000 mg/300 mg
Super B-Complex
•  Vitamin C 150 mg
•  Thiamin 100 mg
•  Riboflavin 20 mg
•  Niacin 25 mg
•  Vitamin B6 2 mg
•  Folic Acid 400 mcg
•  Vitamin B12 15 mcg
•  Biotin 30 mcg
•  Panothenic Acid 5.5 mg
Vitamin C 1000 mg
•  Rose Hips 8 mg
Vitamin D3 5000 iu (as D3 Cholecalciferol)
Biotin 10,000 mcg

DHEA 12.5 mg
Iodine (from Atlantic Kelp and Potasium Iodide) 225 mcg
Selenium 200 mcg
Magnesium 250 mg
Zinc 50 mg

 

Been taking all that since February. Some I've been taking for years with no ill effects. It's the iodine, selenium, magnesium, and DHEA that I've the least experience with.

 

I stopped taking DHEA for a week to ten days and noticed a gradual slip back into depressive feelings and behaviors, which quickly resolved upon taking DHEA again.

 

But over the past week, I've noticed some slippage of the old mental gearing. I take this stuff first thing in the morning, most often with a smaller breakfast of cream of wheat. Again, only very lately, I've noticed some confusion, misspeaking, rare dizziness or lightheadedness. It's worst in the morning hours. If I eat many carbohydrates or fats for lunch, I get stupid tired for hours afterwards. I have to stick to small meals or salads. The morning symptoms largely disappear after lunch, and entirely after dinner.

 

I'm not right. I know I'm not right. I talk publicly all day and am not used to making mistakes and confusing words or phrases. It's all as plain to me as if I woke up purple—I'd know something was clearly wrong.

 

I'm thinking something has been building up inside me enough to make me uncomfortable now—at least for part of the day.

 

I've got a doctor visit coming up, along with a lot of blood work. I'll get to the bottom of this, unless I stroke out in the near future. LOL.

 

On another note, I've been sleeping really well, compared to the past many months. That has been great.

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Trichotomous

Short & sweet:

 

It took just over a year for my withdrawal symptoms to finally let go. I stopped taking Paxil in June of 2015. The withdrawal finally relaxed at the very end of July or beginning of August of 2016.

 

The worst part of withdrawal was a debilitating anxiety. This ruined sleep for many months and filled my waking hours with unending fear and senseless panic.

 

I tried a number of supplements to ease the withdrawal. They had some effect at times, but presented a list of confusing side effects that were difficult to sort out along with the withdrawal itself. I honestly feared I had suffered a stroke at one point, as my health seemed so deteriorated.

 

I learned that DHEA is effective, but cannot be taken for extended periods. A week on, two weeks off seems to work. And I do not take much.

 

Iodine is effective at curbing anxiety and stopping panic attacks, but I can't take it more than once every week or every other week. That's probably the dose (225 mcg). Any more, and I get dizzy, start to slur, and have difficulty concentrating. Taken once in a while, when I'm feeling especially edgy, iodine takes the hard edges off the world.

 

I don't take all those supplements, anymore. I have a feeling they may have exacerbated my anxiety. I've cut back to a little vitamin C, D, and some Biotin for my hair. I do DHEA for a week, as mentioned, and iodine when I get wound up (but never more than once a week).

 

I cut way back on coffee. Once cup a day. That's it. Mostly.

 

I sleep fairly well, but get up by six every morning. I've not needed an alarm clock for a very long time, now. I wish I could sleep ten hours, the way I once did.

 

I don't need Paxil. I probably should not have been on it in the first place, as my depression was more situational than chronic. Counseling and diet modifications were probably what I needed, instead. A counselor is helping me work through the childhood traumas that set me up for all this in the first place.

 

I'm starting to realize that I am more than my job. My school can go to hell and I will still be OK.

 

If I were to do this over, I'd rather have switched to the liquid form and tapered off over time.

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scallywag

Thanks for posting. Many people will be delighted to read that someone's symptoms diminished after a cold turkey stop of Paxil, even if it took a little more than year.

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brassmonkey

Congratulations on your year off.  I'm so glad to hear that things are are improving so much and that you're starting to get on with your life.  It's been a long ride since those first days back at Prior Place. I think it's wonderful that you've stuck it out and prevailed.

 

(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

 

Brass

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Trichotomous

October? It's been almost five months. I've learned a few things since then.

 

I was diagnosed with low-grade chronic depression after one hour of evaluation. He was a smart guy. But he was dead wrong. I was depressed at the time, but I didn't have depression.

 

I should never have been on Paxil. I spent sixteen years on a drug that castrated me, slowed my mind, inhibited self-control, and caused me to gain thirty pounds. So, thanks for that, Doc.

 

After several months, another doctor diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. The symptoms I experienced for that year after stopping Paxil are in line with withdrawal amplifying my underlying anxiety.

 

Have to be careful with Iodine. It seems toxic to me if taken more than every couple weeks, or once a month. It does curb anxiety, but in excess causes serious complications. Could be the dose, too (225 mcg).

 

I thought DHEA was related to the dizziness, slurring, and confusion—it was not. That was the iodine. You have to be careful taking that stuff.

 

I no longer go on & off DHEA, as described before. This was causing a constant yo-yo effect on my anxiety symptoms. I've been on it for three months straight—maybe four.

 

DHEA boosts testosterone and estrogen levels. An elevated level aggression fades after a couple weeks, provided the dose is low enough. It helps with confidence, assertiveness, and pushes back against feelings of anxiety. It helps muscle growth and repair. I can exercise regularly now, without constant pain. My muscles are growing the way they did a couple decades ago. I'm actually getting stronger, instead of weaker every day. Estrogen helps my joints. I'm no longer in constant pain.

 

I do not know how long I can safely stay on DHEA. But it's nice feeling twenty years younger.

 

I had a very long stretch of improved sleep and reduced anxiety. Not being afraid of work or your boss is good for the soul. However, work has gotten very bad this year, with constant threats of school closings and reductions in force. Teachers are quitting every week, and if you know anything about teaching, it's that you don't quit during the school year. But people are quitting. Our pay is going to be slashed if we stay.

 

So my anxiety has been growing. I am waking up earlier. I am nervous and depressed during the day. Haven't reached the level of panic attacks, yet.

 

I'm not on anything else for my anxiety. Wanting to see how much I can manage with counseling and therapy.

 

I am so afraid of ever going back on an SSRI. They're not even intended to treat anxiety, but are used because it's somewhat effective.

 

That's all for now.

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Trichotomous

And I'm trying to give up coffee. I've been drinking that for 30 years. It is tough to quit.

 

I am waking in the middle of the night with hot flashes and anxiety related to work. Doesn't matter how tired I am, I will wake after roughly four hours of sleep, then toss & turn the rest of the night. This is what I went through the better part of last school year.

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ChessieCat

Hi Tri,

 

Depending on how you make your coffee there are several ways you can cut down on the caffeine gradually.  If you are drinking multiple cups throughout the day, you could use decaf coffee for the last cup in the day for a few days and then the one before etc.  If you are drinking granulated coffee you could buy decaf coffee and mix the two together and gradually change over the ratio.  Don't forget that cola and some other soft/soda drinks contain caffeine.

 

caffeine-in-coffee-or-tea-tolerance-issues

 

Sleep problems - that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Sleep Hypnosis, Guided Meditations, Calming Videos

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Trichotomous

In the morning, I have green tea in one of those dainty little tea cups; I believe green tea has some caffeine, but it is nothing like a big cup of coffee.

 

After 30 years, it is weird not drinking coffee throughout the day. It is nice, however, not having those wild swings in energy, with the long "low" period lasting until you get your next cup.

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Madeleine

Don't know if this is helpful, and you might have already heard of this book, but Feeling Good by David Burns is really good and covers a lot of cognitive behavioural therapy that a therapist would. Also, the book Say Good Night to Insomnia is really helpful. It teaches how to deal with insomnia using cognitive behavioural therapy and other techniques.
Wishing you well,

M.

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Trichotomous

I noticed that if I allow myself to splurge and have a couple cups of caffeinated tea, I grow distressed and worrisome for several long hours, afterward.

 

Caffeine is a devil. I have to watch it very carefully, and would likely be better off if I avoided it altogether.

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