LostInSpace: Help with Lexapro withdrawal :(

[LostInSpace]

HI Ali - I'm okay, back to normal withdrawal.  Thanks.  I was wondering about the AAF too.  

[AliG]

 Thanks Brassmonkey !

 

I get it !      

[servadei]

Hey Lost,

I'm in similar situation and thinking about reinstating 1 mg also.

I'm glad you're healing even if it's very slow it's a good sign. I also think that it is good to have a home job because of wd but staying home all the time isn't good for derealization so great that you go to gym!

Wish you all the best!

[LostInSpace]

Thanks Serva - it's really easy with the liquid lexapro.  Working at home is better but I'm kind of like Jack Nicholson in The Shining if you've ever seen it... secluded in the middle of a room typing away.

[servadei]

We don't have that in my country. It isn't even called Lexapro but okay. Heh

Haha you made me smile with th Shining. Don't forget to socialize. I find it extremely hard since I don't have feeling anymore towrds my loved ones. But I know I care for them.

[servadei]

I wanted to ask you how did you cope with depersonalisation?

[AliG]

Hey  Lostin Space,

 

I got distracted by Brassmonkey & his  A.A.F.       All good !

 

However , I wanted to say that I think you're going well !

 

Ali.

[LostInSpace]

We don't have that in my country. It isn't even called Lexapro but okay. Heh

Haha you made me smile with th Shining. Don't forget to socialize. I find it extremely hard since I don't have feeling anymore towrds my loved ones. But I know I care for them.

 

We don't have that in my country. It isn't even called Lexapro but okay. Heh

Haha you made me smile with th Shining. Don't forget to socialize. I find it extremely hard since I don't have feeling anymore towrds my loved ones. But I know I care for them.

 

 

I wanted to ask you how did you cope with depersonalisation

depersonalisation... not very well, but I had no choice.  It's unbearable like the tinnitus, but there's no hiding from it if drug free is the goal.  They've both released their grip a pinch, it has gone from unbearable to mildly torturous.  

[LostInSpace]

Hey  Lostin Space,

 

I got distracted by Brassmonkey & his  A.A.F.       All good !

 

However , I wanted to say that I think you're going well !

 

Ali.

Thanks Ali 

[LostInSpace]

Does anyone have a problem drinking coffee?  

[starburst]

Hi Lostinspace I had a problem with drinking coffee for six and a half years whilst on higher doses of Lexapro but since tapering to 5mg I can handle it again. But I guess you are talking about issues relating to complete WD and I have no experience of that yet. It does appear to me that a lot of people become super sensitive to a lot of things during the WD period. What effect is coffee having on you?

[LostInSpace]

Hi Princess

 

I've become hypersensitive to everything, sometimes I can tolerate coffee, sometimes not. It's always different, I was curious to know if others have the same problem.

[DaddyCee]

yes I have that problem with caffeine in general. Decaff coffee is ok as is tea, but things like coke and drinks with Aspartame really do hit me from time to time. I also find that sometimes I can handle sugar products and then other times it also hits me hard.  There seems to be no visible pattern to this. I'm currently suffering small bouts of feeling dizzy and that then send a wave of panic through my body.  Not nice, but I also seem to recognise the WD symptoms last approx. 6 months for me and then they either disappear or are greatly reduced in their effect.

 

Hope this helps.

 

Namaste.

[LostInSpace]

Thanks Daddy

[LostInSpace]

I wanted to provide an update since things have changed just a bit.  It seems the overall situation has improved a touch, but I'm not entirely sure.  The slurred speech has gotten a bit better but the sore throat / uncomfortable swallowing has worsened ever so slightly.  The crazy eyes seems to have improved a little.  The depersonalization comes and goes which makes it very hard to prepare for.  If I know it's going on, I'll make sure I'm in a safe place, but it's unpredictable.  Though mild, it really makes me look and feel crazy.  My roommates don't understand and my co-workers think I'm insane.  

 

My boss is in a room with me, talking with me.  I make smiley stupid face, as I'm incapable of thinking or talking clearly (90% of the time).  Then that panic spirals out of control.  He looks at me and I wonder what he's thinking.  I do some legal work as well as other things. I can't possibly imagine what is going through his head.  I wonder if he doesn't fire me because he's scared that I'm dangerous.  Maybe he's in fear.  I doubt it, doesn't seem like it.  His willingness to deal with me is bizarre.  Why doesn't he ask me what's wrong with me?  Why does he watch me squirm and leave it alone??  This is not an entry level position.  Imagine being in a room with someone and you're talking about changing language around in a legal agreement.  It needs to be presented to a commercial client.  The guy you're talking too?... is making googlie eyes at you with an idiotic giggle.  The average man would be quite disturbed.  Why does he look the other way?  We're not friends.  Actually it was a rocky beginning when I started a couple years ago.  I do not understand it. 

 

I went back to the gym today, it was very difficult.  I still have a pretty intense look in my eyes and it's virtually impossible to seem normal.  But if I don't go, I'll just sit in the house and suffer worse.  I try not to make eye contact with people, but dealing with my own existence is unbearable so I look around.  I can't win yet. 

 

My hypersensitivity has changed.  I can't smoke pot or drink beer again.  They both make it worse now.  I have herniated discs, but can't really handle the ibuprofen yet.  So when the weathers bad, that's another treat for me... chronic pain. 

 

I'm waking up 5-8 times a night to pee, it happens until I'm completely dehydrated.  I went to the GP and urologist a couple months ago, they said it was from anxiety.  Though that seems very hard to believe, I guess it must be.  

 

The tinnitus in both ears spikes up to a 9-9.5.  To put that in perspective, when I'm in a loud movie theater with the sound banging around, I can hear the ringing over the movie.  When in a quite office, when no one is around, I sit slack jawed pondering at the level of torture I'm suffering.  If someone walks by and sees me, they will be horrified.   

 

I horrify myself in the mirror sometimes.  

[Mort81]

Hey Aaron just read most of your thread. Im a fellow Lexapro WD fighter. Its an ugly drug. I was on 30mg for 7-8 yrs. I have some similar symptoms like tinnitus it can be quite annoying. I have to sleep with a loud radio and fan to drown it out. All this will pass. Im sorry about the concentration thing, slurred speach stuff. Your boss might be weirder than you think. We often think that we are the only ones who feel out of control but other people have lots of other weird things going on. That will definitely gradually get better in time .Right now your mind and body is spending all its energy trying to adjust without meds. Its amazing you can exercise and even attend work. I seem to have more physical symptoms than mental for some reason. I am also hypersensitive to everything. Coffee some days is amazing and it improves my mood while other days it's too much to handle.I can only drink it as soon as I get up.But I try only a few cups a week. Our systems are so fragile right now. They just need time.

 

Goodluck things will get better .

[LostInSpace]

Haha, you're right about my boss.  Thanks Mort

[LexAnger]

I like your thought about bosses too, Mort I always think I am the only alian walking around ppl everywhere I go, wondering how wonderful if I can be any of them even the homeless ones.

 

I found lots lexopro users have more physical than mental WD issues while most other ssir users tend to have main issues in the mental department very minor or none physical symptoms.

 

I can count the number times I ever had anxiety/depression in tha past years and they never last more than a few hours. My physical pain and lots other strange problems comes up one after another and stays all the time with mas intensity.

[LostInSpace]

Greeting Survivors,

 

In August, I had my first window after 8 months.  It lasted for just half a day.  I had another two days later.  I haven't had one since and it's almost 3 months later.

 

Has anyone had a similar experience?  

[LostInSpace]

Update, 11/19

 

I may be in a mild window.  I got a DUI in February, that had really been beating me down.  I had my last day in court today and received ARD, the first offenders program.  I also had a good workout tonight, so I'm not sure if it's the combo of those 2 things, or I'm in a weak window... or all 3.  "The nothing" is not pulsing a tension band through the left side of my skull and gums at the moment.  

[DaddyCee]

Sounds like the windows are becoming more frequent. That must be a good sign, surely?

 

I wasn't on Lexapro but Escitalopram and I have had more mental torture than physical during my WD period. I gave up alcohol over a year ago and just don't trust touching it at the moment. May be one day I will have a beer, but just not yet.  It's not like I don't want to, it's more like I feel very sensitive to trying it.  I'm also interested in taking Magnesium Citrate, but again I am scared to do anything that will ultimately interrupt / disrupt my progress.  I've come this far and hopefully it won't be much longer before I'm healed fully.

 

Namaste.

[bubble]

DaddyCee, Lexapro is a brand name for a drug with escitalopram as the active ingredient. So Escitalopram and Lexapro are the same thing. It's just that escitalopram as the active ingredient is produced under different names in different countries. Cipralex is another brand name for the same ingredient...

[DaddyCee]

Thanks Bubble, I wasn't aware of that.

[LostInSpace]

Sounds like the windows are becoming more frequent. That must be a good sign, surely?

 

I wasn't on Lexapro but Escitalopram and I have had more mental torture than physical during my WD period. I gave up alcohol over a year ago and just don't trust touching it at the moment. May be one day I will have a beer, but just not yet.  It's not like I don't want to, it's more like I feel very sensitive to trying it.  I'm also interested in taking Magnesium Citrate, but again I am scared to do anything that will ultimately interrupt / disrupt my progress.  I've come this far and hopefully it won't be much longer before I'm healed fully.

 

Namaste.

 

Hi Daddy

 

My torture is mostly mental too.  

 

Maybe they are becoming more frequent.  I don't think it was a window, I think my spirit had lifted a bit from losing all the angst from the DUI situation.  It's hard to say, I will know more later today... just woke up.  If I did have one, that's how mild it was that I'm not sure.

 

I tried grass again last night.  That worked out OK.  I had a shot also.  That did not... back to abstinence for awhile.   

 

Thanks for your posts. 

[LostInSpace]

Update:  It's been about 12.5 months now.  I've had a total of about 16 hours of window time in this last year.  These symptoms are all improving, but at a snails pace.  I wish to experience a window in the very near future.  Can anyone take a stab at it?  I know there's no way to measure it, but what do you think?  When will I have a good day?  When will I be able to feel emotion?  When will I have a day when I actually experience joy?  When will I have a window?  I know it's all subjective, but based on my WD schedule, what do you think?  Please... humor me and take a stab at it.  I was on 10mg for 1.5 years, then 15mg for about 2 years (Escitalopram).  I fast tapered over a 2 week period.  Here is where I stand:

 

I have something similar to a tension headache / band, but it moves all around the inside of my skull.  In the early day it originates where the brain zaps were.  The zaps have moved out of the center of my head and have reduced to a click or pop.  It's moved to the lower part of that tension band around my jaw.  It spends a lot of the day around the roof of my mouth and sinuses, stretching from one end of my head to the other. It extends from my bottom left jaw, up through my gums and teeth, terminating in my upper skull somewhere.  It moves all around. It fast pulses and throbs along with my heartbeat, making a whooshing sound in my left ear.  Over the last month or so, it hasn't gotten bad until mid or late day.  I have to sometimes sleep with something in my mouth which kind of acts as a ground, taking some of the energy from the band. I call it "the nothing" like from the Neverending Story. You can't see it but it wreaks havoc.  

 

I've had a very sensitive airway, like a during a respiratory infection. It was scratchy and annoying. It went on for many months.

 

This is also getting better, but I've had a very irritated and sore voice box, painful with some difficulty swallowing. The right side of my throat was red all year.

 

My knees had been cracking a lot and a little painful. They're getting a little better.

 

The herniated discs in my back are much more achy, especially during the bad weather.  

 

I was getting up 4-5 times a night to go to the bathroom while being very dehydrated upon awakening.  That's gone down to 2-3 times.  

 

My fingers and toes were very cold... that's almost gone.  

 

I'm congested, but that's improved.  

 

I'm hypersensitive to everything.  Substance like beer and weed have no effect on me but exhaustion.  They make the other mentioned symptoms worse.  They don't work at all like they're supposed to.  I took 2 ibuprofen for back pain 4 days ago... it wrecked me for days.  

 

I have what feels like a bubble in the lower part of my spine.  It's not there all the time anymore.  When I lie on it, it feels like there's something between my back and whatever I'm laying on.  I've had MRI's, there's nothing there.  It's improving.  

 

I have heavy bags and dark circles underneath my eyes.  

 

I've always had tinnitus, but it became quite severe when all of this started.

 

My field of view vibrates.  The further away I focus on something, the worse it is.  This has improved a lot, it's almost gone.

 

Bloating... after most meals, especially with wheat, I have moderate bloating.  I don't have allergies, checked that.   

 

The emotional is another story... racing thoughts, high anxiety, mild depression.  I have intrusive thoughts, some sexual, but I know they're not here to stay.  I have to fight them off upon awakening.  It makes getting out of bed in the morning much more difficult, but I'm getting better at severing them off as they enter through the day.  I relive many painful memories throughout my past.  I focus in on what they're doing to my brain physically.  It kind of pushes me down, like causing depression.  It's a heavy feeling... it hurts and it's hard to deal with.  When I lay down at night before falling asleep and when I wake they are the worst.  

 

I don't go anywhere but to the gym and even that's challenge with this intense look I can't shake from my eyes.  Depending on the day, people either think I'm a complete ace hole, a weight lifting dullard or completely crazy.  I've had to change gyms a couple times to spare these folks... and myself.  The rush of endorphins seems to be the only substance in my brain working correctly.

 

Well??  It all sounds delightful.   

 

"What... would I do... if I could suddenly feel?"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4RMAmYUHF8

[Petunia]

Thanks for updating LostInSpace,

My over all impression from reading through your last few posts is that you are recovering nicely, well maybe there's not too much that's nice about it, but you seem to be improving, with many of your symptoms much better now than they were.

 

Everything seems in order and there was nothing you wrote which sounded unusual, nothing I haven't read here lots of times from members recovering, most of what you wrote I have experienced myself.

 

I'm also a lexapro survivor. But apart from that one drug we have in common, our histories are very different, so don't use my slow recovery rate to measure yourself by. My windows were short to non-existant the first 18 months I was drug free, but this last year I've had several significant ones. I think you will get another one soon and year 2 will see much more improvement and longer, better windows. That's my 2016 prediction for you

 

You are working and going to the gym. I understand its not easy, but you are able to do it, this is a good thing. I'm still trying to get back to the gym and finding it difficult because of exercise intolerance and sensitivity to.... everything. At one year off, you are way ahead of me at almost 3 years off. So I'm sure you are going to keep recovering at what you call a snails pace, but to me it looks pretty fast.

 

Its interesting that you say ibuprofen made you worse. I usually take a small amount of aspirin for pain, but I took some ibuprofen for jaw and mouth pain about a week ago and I was sure it made my withdrawal symptoms significantly worse and caused a wave. Perhaps try aspirin for pain. I'm surprised how little I need these days to take the edge off quite intense pain. I also get head, jaw, gum, mouth, neck and shoulder pain which seems to be connected. I get bouts of it that last several days to a week, then it goes away for a while. When it happens, my bite goes out of alignment, but then it goes back again, its unbelievable how bizarre some of these symptoms can be.

 

You have a great attitude though, which I'm sure is helping with recovery.

 

Thanks for posting the video, very applicable, I too am waiting to get my full range of emotions back.

[LostInSpace]

Thanks for updating LostInSpace,

My over all impression from reading through your last few posts is that you are recovering nicely, well maybe there's not too much that's nice about it, but you seem to be improving, with many of your symptoms much better now than they were.

 

Everything seems in order and there was nothing you wrote which sounded unusual, nothing I haven't read here lots of times from members recovering, most of what you wrote I have experienced myself.

 

I'm also a lexapro survivor. But apart from that one drug we have in common, our histories are very different, so don't use my slow recovery rate to measure yourself by. My windows were short to non-existant the first 18 months I was drug free, but this last year I've had several significant ones. I think you will get another one soon and year 2 will see much more improvement and longer, better windows. That's my 2016 prediction for you

 

You are working and going to the gym. I understand its not easy, but you are able to do it, this is a good thing. I'm still trying to get back to the gym and finding it difficult because of exercise intolerance and sensitivity to.... everything. At one year off, you are way ahead of me at almost 3 years off. So I'm sure you are going to keep recovering at what you call a snails pace, but to me it looks pretty fast.

 

Its interesting that you say ibuprofen made you worse. I usually take a small amount of aspirin for pain, but I took some ibuprofen for jaw and mouth pain about a week ago and I was sure it made my withdrawal symptoms significantly worse and caused a wave. Perhaps try aspirin for pain. I'm surprised how little I need these days to take the edge off quite intense pain. I also get head, jaw, gum, mouth, neck and shoulder pain which seems to be connected. I get bouts of it that last several days to a week, then it goes away for a while. When it happens, my bite goes out of alignment, but then it goes back again, its unbelievable how bizarre some of these symptoms can be.

 

You have a great attitude though, which I'm sure is helping with recovery.

 

Thanks for posting the video, very applicable, I too am waiting to get my full range of emotions back.

 

Good Morning Petunia,

 

Wow, it's really nice to read this feedback.  Thank you.  It really is incredible, the damage this poison can cause... but only to some??  It's very interesting, but infuriating.  

[LostInSpace]

Update:

 

I'm in month 14.  I still have all the symptoms and do not feel any emotion, but the torture is slightly less.  From months 13-14 my baseline has improved which in previous months I cannot report any positive change.  I haven't had much in the window department, but the situation has become a tad bit lighter.   Can't wait to feel some emotion.  

[servadei]

You're getting better, that's great. I'm also healing from escitalopram. I'm 7 months off. It's important to remain hopeful about future..And of you're working AND going to gym that's a lot. I wish you all the best,

Serva.

[LostInSpace]

I shouldn't have, it was torture... but now glad I did!

[LexAnger]

Great news! Wish you continuous healing!

[LostInSpace]

Hi All,

 

I could really use some feedback. I'm scheduled to get a tooth pulled on Thursday morning. It's #12, a pre molar... 4th to the left from the top middle. It's for making room so Invisilign can move the teeth, it's not infected or painful. I'm horrified of the medicine. I'm so sensitive to everything. Sometimes my nose gets cold when I take something, or just don't feel well. Sometimes they don't work like they're supposed to. I will have to have the nitrous and the local anesthetic, whatever that may be. Also I have this tension band that pulses and throbs, it moves around my teeth and gums and sinus area. It does not really hurt. But what will happen when there's a tooth missing? I'm so scared, do I push this off? I will have to stop the invislign treatment. The doctor said I may be fine with just Tylenol, but I'm really worried.

 

Any feedback is helpful.

 

Thank you

[Fresh]

Hi LostinSpace , have you seen the thread on dental issues here?

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4615-dental-surgery-and-dental-medications-what-is-safe/?hl=dental

 

Many members have had procedures and been fine.

There are also a number of threads about pain medications that may be helpful to read.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4482-what-to-do-for-painwhen-you-cant-take-meds/?hl=dental

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1039-painkillers-in-withdrawal-aspirin-ibuprofen-paracetamol-acetaminophen-naproxen-codeine/?view=findpost&p=155593&hl=dental

[LostInSpace]

Thank You!

[brassmonkey]

I had a root channel several months ago and had no problems with it.  Biggest problem was that the dentist broke the new crown three times trying to fit it.

[LostInSpace]

Hi Folks.  Healing is happening but oh so slow.  Can someone recommend a diet that would be helpful to the healing process e.g. reduce inflammation, plant based, etc.?  I didn't see any topics around the site for dieting.