ShellyHart22- finding me

[ShellyHart22]

Hi,

Obviously I am new here. I am desperate for support and understanding. My life is falling apart. I am on so many meds. Every time I ask a new dr to help me wean off of Effexor, they say they will, but they add another Med first and I am STILL stuck on the Effexor! I am down to 37.5 mg, but even weaning down one bead at a time, I experience SEVERE withdrawal! Brain zaps, vertigo, exhaustion, rages, crying spells, hopelessness, mood swings. I am now on Effexor, Viibryd and Lamictal and I am worse off than ever!!!!! I am angry and hopeless. I am exhausted, irritable, having muscle twitches, hypertension, headaches, vertigo. I don't even know who I am anymore. I haven't been happy in years. The doctor on psycheducation.org says that everyone should have the opportunity to be off all the meds to find a baseline. I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety, not that I have ever had a proper screening. I believe I may be bipolar and it has been missed due to my adhd. But how can anyone know since I've been on these meds all these years?! And I have to wonder if I AM bipolar and these meds have made it worse or even initiated "kindling"!!! I can't find any doctors who understand or who can truly help me. I feel so helpless and I hate the person I've become! I need to know if this is really me or a monster created by these meds!!! My children are suffering and I believe that them enduring my mood swings and outbursts amounts to psychological abuse. My heart is broken for my girls. I need help and I can't find it anywhere.

[ShellyHart22]

I also want to add a little background. My husband is a recovering addict, here is the timeline of my outer stressors:

December 2006- Moved from Washington state back home to Vegas with then fiancée to leave an abusive cult-like church

February 2007- after leaving my entire support system and being labeled a heretic, had an elopement style wedding with no friends and nothing of any "dream wedding" or excitement or celebration.

June 2008- moved back to Washington and conceived first child, tumultuous pregnancy with complications.

February 2009- daughter born and hospitalized for 1 week

March 2009- after struggling through six weeks of post parting depression, anger, loneliness and disappointment, started on Celexa to help with anger and depression

August 2010- conceived 2nd baby

October 2010- discovered husbands relapse and that he was having an affair. Confronted husband and his girlfriend and was arrested. Spent two days in jail while pregnant.

Took 2 year old daughter and moved to Georgia with my dad.

December 2010- husband filed custody papers in Washington and travelled to Georgia and had my 2 year old removed from my dads house with a warrant.

April 2011- gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, alone in the hospital, bittersweet and painful to be alone.

October 2011- husband broke down and asked to work things out. He moved to Georgia and checked in to rehab. Lost family support and had to move out of dads home. Moved with pastor and his wife. Began working again and struggling as a single mom while husband worked on his recovery.

March 2012- had a breakdown over struggling with childcare and moved husband home early from clean and sober housing to care for children while I worked.

March 2012- September 2015 worked to support my family while husband was stay at home dad, still struggling with major bitterness and resentment that I feel he has stolen my baby years with my girls from me as I HAVE to work and support our family because, I'm just the breadwinner. I grieve that every day.

September 2015- left Georgia to own 4 acres of land in Texas and build our dream house near my father and stepsons adjoining 4 acres. Had falling out with alcoholic stepmom and had to leave new job immediately to move to Vegas and be near my other family (mom and sister).

November 2015- started new job that pays great, but I hate the job. Husband trying to go back to school to establish a trade and help me provide.

Struggling with stress, anger, exhaustion, depression, hopelessness, bitterness, grief, disillusionment and lost identity. I have no dreams anymore and no future to look forward to. I am lost and broken. I used to love and be passionate about Jesus, but I can't find Him anymore.

 

I used to attend Celebrate Recovery and it helped me quite a bit, but I haven't found a good one here. I am an extreme extrovert and having no friends and no community is crushing my soul. But I am too depressed and hopeless and broken to reach out and pursue that support.

[ShellyHart22]

Addendum: I did retain custody of my daughter one day later in December 2010. Sorry for typos. Cellphone.

[bromor]

Shelly ~ my heart goes out to you. You've been through so much and been handed pills to cope. Stress like you've been through plays havoc with your body. I can relate to some of what you've been through ~ multiple moves, affair, & the resulting betrayal/hurt that you endure. I know a mod will be along soon to answer & help with the med questions. Just wanted to say welcome & to let you know that biblical counseling has been a huge component in addressing why I was put on Zoloft to begin with. Hugs to you!

[Lexy]

Welcome you have come to the right place for help. There will be others who will advise you in how to taper.

Just wanted to let you know that I'm on effexor too and started taking just one bead out a month due to wd symptoms.

I believe you have become so sensitized due to all the med changes, also effexor is notorious for wds because of its short half life.

I not a doctor but I don't think you are bipolar....I use to think I was too before I started reading other people's stories on here. I get mood swings too, I can become irritable at a drop of a hat and/or start crying the next minute. Please hang on especially for your girls.

Can your h

[Rose9975]

Welcome.I'm new here myself & I want to acknowledge your reaching out for support & understanding of yourself. Well done.I hear you. What I say is mostly from personal & life experience.I have observed, that individuals,including myself, set very high expectations of ourselves when we are already in a very difficult or challenging time in our lives. I worked in a women's domestic abuse refuge & women would regularly report to me despite being often homeless they would tell me that they haved started a diet,decided to give up smoking cold turkey & create difficult often unsucctainable lifestyle changes.Why is that? What do we do that? What role does it serve?Do we like to set ourselves up for failure so to confirm our inner critic voice that I am not 'good enough', 'less then others'etc. The reflection is how can I be more compassionate to myself in the middle of perceived chaos/stress?? I struggle with this daily.

[KarenB]

Hi Shelly and welcome to s/a,

 

I am so glad you are here to get some good help and support - it's been a long time coming for you.  I am also on Effexor, and am reducing VERY slowly.  I have two daughters too - it breaks your heart, doesn't it, when you can't be the mum you want to be. 

 

'You' are most definitely still in there, amongst all the swirling trouble.  These meds cause such grief for people, but with the right information you can get out from under them.   

 

Guess what?  It is very common for doctors to mis-diagnose people bipolar once they get destabilised by antidepressants.  They mistake the side-effects and w/d symptoms for bipolar.  So that's one worry you can probably put away.  (Did you know that Lamictal is a bipolar medication, which you probably don't need).

 

Am I right that these are your current meds?  Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Lamictal 200 mg, Viibryd 40 mg, Metoprolol 25 mg.  I put these 4 in the drug-checker and have pasted the results at the end of this post.  It indicates a risk of serotonin syndrome caused by the interaction of Effexor with Viibryd.  It's also excessive to be taking two anti-depressants.   Have a look at 'Which drug to taper first' and see what you think.

 

Because Effexor is having interractions with both the Viibryd and the Lamictal, it could pay to start with tapering Effexor.   Tips for tapering Effexor.

 

How long ago did you last do some Effexor tapering and by what amounts?  Thanks for writing a signature - perhaps you could add details of dates and amounts so we can help you more accurately.  We recommend tapering by no more than 10% of your current dose.  This is to reduce w/d symptoms.

 

But before you do any changes, please read the links and then come back to this thread and ask more questions.  It's good to have input when making a tapering plan.  I know it can feel scary, but you will be able to get through this.  You are not alone. 

 

Hugs,
KarenB

 

 

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Interactions between your selected drugs

Major venlafaxine vilazodone

Applies to: Effexor XR (venlafaxine), Viibryd (vilazodone)

Using venlafaxine together with vilazodone can increase the risk of a rare but serious condition called the serotonin syndrome, which may include symptoms such as confusion, hallucination, seizure, extreme changes in blood pressure, increased heart rate, fever, excessive sweating, shivering or shaking, blurred vision, muscle spasm or stiffness, tremor, incoordination, stomach cramp, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Severe cases may result in coma and even death. You should seek immediate medical attention if you experience these symptoms while taking the medications. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. Your doctor may already be aware of the risks, but has determined that this is the best course of treatment for you and has taken appropriate precautions and is monitoring you closely for any potential complications. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

Switch to professional interaction data

Moderate venlafaxine lamotrigine

Applies to: Effexor XR (venlafaxine), Lamictal XR (lamotrigine)

Using venlafaxine together with lamoTRIgine may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, and difficulty concentrating. Some people may also experience some impairment in thinking and judgment. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

Switch to professional interaction data

No other interactions were found between your selected drugs.
Note: this does not necessarily mean no interactions exist. ALWAYS consult with your doctor or pharmacist.

Other drugs that your selected drugs interact with

• metoprolol interacts with more than 400 other drugs.
• Effexor XR (venlafaxine) interacts with more than 500 other drugs.
• Lamictal XR (lamotrigine) interacts with more than 200 other drugs.
• Viibryd (vilazodone) interacts with more than 300 other drugs.

Interactions between your selected drugs and food

Moderate metoprolol food

Applies to: metoprolol

Food can enhance the levels of metoprolol in your body. You should take metoprolol at the same time each day, preferably with or immediately following meals. This will make it easier for your body to absorb the medication. Avoid drinking alcohol, which could increase drowsiness and dizziness while you are taking metoprolol. Metoprolol is only part of a complete program of treatment that also includes diet, exercise, and weight control. Follow your diet, medication, and exercise routines very closely.

Switch to professional interaction data

Moderate venlafaxine food

Applies to: Effexor XR (venlafaxine)

Consumer information for this interaction is not currently available.

GENERALLY AVOID: Alcohol may potentiate some of the pharmacologic effects of CNS-active agents. Use in combination may result in additive central nervous system depression and/or impairment of judgment, thinking, and psychomotor skills.

MANAGEMENT: Patients receiving CNS-active agents should be warned of this interaction and advised to avoid or limit consumption of alcohol. Ambulatory patients should be counseled to avoid hazardous activities requiring complete mental alertness and motor coordination until they know how these agents affect them, and to notify their physician if they experience excessive or prolonged CNS effects that interfere with their normal activities.

Moderate lamotrigine food

Applies to: Lamictal XR (lamotrigine)

Consumer information for this interaction is not currently available.

GENERALLY AVOID: Alcohol may potentiate some of the pharmacologic effects of CNS-active agents. Use in combination may result in additive central nervous system depression and/or impairment of judgment, thinking, and psychomotor skills.

MANAGEMENT: Patients receiving CNS-active agents should be warned of this interaction and advised to avoid or limit consumption of alcohol. Ambulatory patients should be counseled to avoid hazardous activities requiring complete mental alertness and motor coordination until they know how these agents affect them, and to notify their physician if they experience excessive or prolonged CNS effects that interfere with their normal activities.

Moderate vilazodone food

Applies to: Viibryd (vilazodone)

Food significantly increases the absorption of vilazodone. You should take vilazodone with a meal, preferably at the same time each day. Taking it on an empty stomach may lead to inadequate blood levels and reduced effectiveness of the medication.

Switch to professional interaction data

Therapeutic duplication warnings

Therapeutic duplication is the use of more than one medicine from the same drug category or therapeutic class to treat the same condition. This can be intentional in cases where drugs with similar actions are used together for demonstrated therapeutic benefit. It can also be unintentional in cases where a patient has been treated by more than one doctor, or had prescriptions filled at more than one pharmacy, and can have potentially adverse consequences.

Duplication Antidepressants

Therapeutic duplication

The recommended maximum number of medicines in the 'antidepressants' category to be taken concurrently is usually one. Your list includes two medicines belonging to the 'antidepressants' category:

• venlafaxine (active ingredient in Effexor XR)
• vilazodone (active ingredient in Viibryd)

Note: The benefits of taking this combination of medicines may outweigh any risks associated with therapeutic duplication. This information does not take the place of talking to your doctor. Always check with your healthcare provider to determine if any adjustments to your medications are needed.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

[ChessieCat]

Hi Shelly,

 

I've copied your post from the Inpatient detox or rehab? topic so it gets more notice and because it refers to your own topic.  I did a quick overview of responses to the initial question.  Did you?  See especially:  Post #2 & Post #7

 

These helped me to understand what happens and why a 10% (or less) taper of the current dose is recommended:  Video: Healing from Antidepressants: Patterns of Recovery & Brain Remodelling

 

 

Has anyone tried inpatient rehab for anti depressant withdrawal? I may have a family member willing to pay for me to go to a 90 day inpatient rehab. I don't know how I can be away from my girlies (6 and 4 years old) for 90 days!!!!
BUT I don't know how I can continue to allow them to live in a hostile, toxic environment that I am creating with my drug-induced insanity!

So, I'm curious if anyone thinks this would even be worth it? We all know that it is unlikely that ANY physician will understand about antidepressant withdrawal, but, I can't hold my life together while ensuring these symptoms!

 

I hope this helps.  CC

[Songbird]

Hi Shelly, you've come to the right place.  You've been through an awful lot, I think you're stronger than you realise.  The first line of your signature is very telling - PPD is how many of us started on the med merry-go-round.

 

When did you start your Effexor taper?  How have you been tapering the Effexor - you say one bead at a time, but how long have you been holding at each dose?  How long have you been on the Vibryd and Lamictal?  I think it is concerning that you are on both Effexor and Vibryd at the same time.  If you have not been on them for long, it may be better to hold the Effexor dose for a while to get some stability, and taper off the two newer meds first before tackling the rest of the Effexor.

[SquirrellyGirl]

Hi Shelly, Welcome!

 

I am also tapering Effexor, so you are definitely not alone!

 

Are you on the extended release version with the little beads inside the capsule, or the immediate release?  Congratulations on getting down to 37.5 mg!  That is the minimum effective dosage, and I only bring that up because that is the dosage where receptors are stilloccupied by 80%; as you drop below that dosage, the receptors start freeing up precipitously with small dosage changes, which causes destabilization and symptoms.  So, it is very important at this point to do a 10% taper of your previous dosage per 4-6 weeks.  You may even have to do 5% if you are as sensitive as you mentioned.  You can see that information here; the graphs on the fourth page say it all.

 

http://ils.unc.edu/bmh/neoref/this.dir.unneeded/schizophrenia/review/tmp/352.pdf

 

You have had a very rough go of it but you are obviously a very strong gal to make it this far and end up here.  You have made the decision to take control of your destiny!  That is an amazing thing and you should feel good about that!  I also want to add that the past is now a story, and the future is unpredictable; all we have is this moment.  Please be kind to yourself and not dwell in the past.  You will need all kinds of support as you embark on this new chapter of your life, and though it would be ideal to get it from others, ultimately you need to be your own ally and not be harsh towards yourself.  Do not judge yourself.  You can do this, and you are deserving!

 

SG

[AliG]

Hi Shelly , 

I'm sure you will find the help you want here. I'm so sorry for what you have been experiencing. I can understand you feeling desperate ,and needing support and understanding. I'm sure we can help you get through this.   In regard to your question above , concerning inpatient rehab for A/D withdrawal, I would give it a miss, if I were you.  I seriously do not think you would get anything more out of that, than you can get here . In fact , I think you will do better reading around here, getting some advice from  mods & members who have experience, and absorbing the information here , than you will by going on a 3 month  " hiatus".  Read & educate yourself, so that you can become your own health expert and health advocate. I do not believe you have to leave your daughters. It's up to you , of course. You have to decide what is ultimately the best plan for you. Only you can decide  what is best for you and your children.  

Have you read all the links?  Do you have any other questions or concerns?  This is your thread/ journal to ask questions and record your symptoms/ feelings etc. on your tapering  & withdrawal.

Best wishes,

Ali

[nz11]

A very big welcome SH. Ive never given anyone a 'very big welcome' before.

 

I am so sorry you have been put through this horror story.

You are no monster you are an amazing survivor.

As you have already found the doctors really have no idea regarding the nature of these drugs.

 

I going to be bold here and put my neck on the line and say how very supportive and kind of your family to offer to pay for an inpatient rehab clinic.....however i would decline the offer.

For one thing you are still on the drug (s)....so what is there intention to taper you off (everything) in 90 days?

If so then you have a very big chance of coming home in a worse mess.

Even if you you had just gone drug free that is not necessarily the end of withdrawal symptoms they can go on for more than 90 days ...they could go on for years.

And there is no magic words or bullet or diet or exercise or pill that can stop it. However if you taper off slowly as per this site rec you give yourself every chance of a safe landing.

Look at Songbirds taper.

 

I honestly believe you would be better served reading info from this site to get as informed as you can regarding your plight. Gathering and noting as many nondrug tools as you can to survive this.

 

I notice you say you weaned off vyvanse in nov 2015 ...how long had you been on that for and how did you wean ...over one month? one week?

 

There may well be many players in this deterioration but it could be you are suffering a sudden 'crash' from the vyvanse withdrawal from an abrupt stop ( too fast taper. )

 

Were you on it for a long period of time? , at high dosage? Could you please advise.

 

Classic stimulant symptoms are hunger, fatigue, exhaustion, apathy excessive sleep, depression and suicidality as well as social withdrawal irritability and aggression.

I am loathed to suggest anything and if the reason for coming off the vyvanse was for health issue concerns then that is paramount.

It also appears you are tapering effexor and depending on what is happening there you are probably suffering form tapering too fast from that as well.

 

Your pointing to serotonin syndrome may also be  very valid .

I also like Songbirds suggestion.

 

Avery big welcome indeed.

So glad you found sa.

You are not alone.

[nz11]

Hey Alig You just bet me to post ...ugh!!

Great minds think alike.

[AliG]

By a hairsbreadth ! NZ  !   However, we agree  " inpatient rehab " is not the way to go . Thanks C.C.