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Overwhelmed, demotivated, apathetic? Cannot get going on interest or action


Barbarannamated
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Wow! This sounds like me, too. It's not really apathy, like when I was actively depressed, because I know what I have to do and, on some level, want to do things. I just can't make myself do them most of the time. I sleep ok most nights, but still often fall asleep in the afternoons (or feel like I want to).  I thought these types of feelings would go away once I wasn't depressed, but now I'm wondering if it's the meds. Grateful for finding this site.

12 minutes ago, Songbird said:

I'm glad I found this thread.  I've been struggling with this a lot recently.  Sometimes it is fatigue, sometimes lack of motivation but usually I think it is a combination of both.  There are so many things I want to do, so many projects I want to work on.  There are also a zillion things that need doing around our place.  I'm constantly beating myself up for being lazy and not getting much done.  Whenever I get a day off, I spend about half of it sleeping.  It helps to see that others experience this and it is not just ME.  Now and then I'll have a good day when I feel energetic and motivated and get a bunch of things done, and that feels great when it happens.

 

Venlafaxine XR 150 mg 2000-2001

 

Venlafaxine XR 150 mg December 2014 to April 2018

         began taper April 28/18  146mg (2.5%); May 5/18   142mg (2.5%); May 12/18  138mg (2.5%); May 19/18   135mg (2.5%)

                               May 26-Jun2 holding for weeks 5&6

 

 

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On 12/17/2015 at 9:09 AM, JanCarol said:

It's probably emphasized by the learned helplessness the drugs gave us.

 

Many of us learned, as I did, that there was no point - no matter what I did  - I would just "relapse" (decades passed, before I learned that this deep depression I kept falling into was withdrawal from the drugs)

 

I said this for years in one of the Murphy's laws sayings:  "You can't fall off the floor," 

 

and then the apathy says, "So why bother getting up?  At least I cannot fall from here."

 

This is SPOT ON, Jan Carol.  I've referred to Seligman's (?) "learned helplessness / learned hopelessness"  in describing how I feel. I'm 8 years out from a sloppy taper of Pristiq, but still on several meds, and this is killing me.  

 

I was forced onto Involuntary Medical Retirement in 2001 after a neuromuscular injury partly due to Zoloft in 1993. Since then, I've just been trying to find something to stay occupied with by myself every day. I got involved in quite a few church groups, volunteer work, and horse activities (mainly observing), but nothing *stuck* except the horses, but they've since passed.  

 

My primary *job* since 2001 has been doctor appointments and pharmacy interactions several times per month (rarely does an RX order go smoothly).  

 

All of this has contributed to the learned helplessness / hopelessness / I'm just staying on the floor and not trying anymore.  THEN withdrawal brought a whole new feeling of futility and being trapped on these drugs and at the mercy of doctors and prescribing guidelines.  

 

The motivation / reward circuit is completely gone for me. I don't bother paying some bills if they're not on autopay.  Why bother to do the *right* thing?  I've played by the rules all of my life and it only hurt me.  The proverbial *good girl* in my family, but my druggie sister has been given EVERYTHING imaginable. Now she's on hospice and I can't find an ounce of sympathy for her. 

 

Sorry for that long explanation. I just don't know how I will ever get past 25 years of hit after hit.  

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Well, my "Year of Saying Yes" is long over, and while it expanded my life, I had to follow it with a Year of Saying No.  Of drawing lines around people and things.  I pretty much gave up playing online with the Crazy Cat Ladies - I miss them, but it's hard to go be jolly with them when people over here are struggling.

 

I started my own website, that I post on about once a month - not enough to be a successful blogger - and I always put that one off - it's the last "thing I have time & energy to do."

I have to fight so hard just to keep my head above water.  It's like treading water in wave after wave of surf.  I keep getting knocked back down.

 

Getting treatment for my knee has been good - but it's knocked a hole in my exercise program (I have to rest it for a week after the prolotherapy shots).  This means that I never get better, with that week off, then I scramble to build back up and just about get where I was when it's time for another shot.  I take my last shot this week, so maybe the last half of the year I'll get some headway.

 

There are always so many things I want to do.  Visit other yoga studios, where my shaman ladies are practicing.  Attend other events to network and expand my horizons.  Hold special events of my own - like "drumming in the park" or a trip "out bush" with the ladies.  Here it is June, and I've done none of these.

 

There's always something.  The flu.  Bad sleep.  IBS.  Pain.  "If it ain't one thing, it's another."

 

Musical interlude:

 

The only thing I know to do is just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  If I can take this step, I can take another later.  Keep my eyes on the horizon, and if a step is away from that goal - save my spoons for a step that is towards that horizon.  I may never get there - but at least I'm alive.

 

I've been putting one foot in front of the other since 1986.  More so since 1998.  There were about 10 years (thank you Lithium, and probably Seroquel didn't help) where I gave up entirely, and here I am - what - 30 years on - still putting one foot in front of the other.

 

I look at Tami Simon, who is about my age - and she went to India and came back and founded Sounds True.  How does that ever happen?  (I know, we're not supposed to compare ourselves to others, but how do others DO IT?)

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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I can't even get out anymore /again.  I tried to move to Florida and it was just too much.  I'm in an RV with no running water.  I just stay in bed.  Can't shower or anything.  I know that a lot of chronically ill people live like this, but I just cannot continue.  My body is completely shutting down.  Barely 80#, if that.    

Sorry to be posting this here.  

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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14 hours ago, JanCarol said:

I started my own website, that I post on about once a month - not enough to be a successful blogger - and I always put that one off - it's the last "thing I have time & energy to do."

 

I started a blog about anxiety in 2014 and was updating it every month or two or three, but stopped updating it in 2016 when I crashed again, and haven't got around to posting in it again since then.  I keep thinking about it, but never actually getting to it.

 

14 hours ago, JanCarol said:

There are always so many things I want to do.  Visit other yoga studios, where my shaman ladies are practicing.  Attend other events to network and expand my horizons.  Hold special events of my own - like "drumming in the park" or a trip "out bush" with the ladies.  Here it is June, and I've done none of these.

 

There's always something.  The flu.  Bad sleep.  IBS.  Pain.  "If it ain't one thing, it's another."

 

With me it's musical projects.  I have a home recording studio, but it takes me about two years to finish one song.  I hardly ever go out to my studio and work on my stuff even though I really want to.  Years go by and I look at how much I've actually achieved and it's a bit depressing.  I keep trying though, because giving up would be much worse.

 

14 hours ago, JanCarol said:

I look at Tami Simon, who is about my age - and she went to India and came back and founded Sounds True.  How does that ever happen?  (I know, we're not supposed to compare ourselves to others, but how do others DO IT?)

 

I do that too, look at all the people with successful online businesses, successful musicians who manage to perform live, create albums, make videos, write blogs, send newsletters, post on facebook, and so on.  How do people do all that???

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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Are these people who've been very ill and recovered?   I'm in such a fog right now, I'm not comprehending.  

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • 2 weeks later...

Barbarannamated, I'm sorry for you. 18 Years such a long time and may take very long time to recover. I couldn't read all the post cause my English.
But I'm really wonder if there is anyone used short-term and healed "completely". I was studying to olympiads and I really must to be intelligent as I was. I think my problems caused by dopamine inhibition now.
Could you help me with your experience and information? Does 5HT2C antagonist solve this issue permanently? What should i do?

Starting day - 6 March

Dosage - 10 mg/day

Ending day -  12 April

A/D - Prozac Syrup

Side effects - Cognitive impairment, short-term and working memory impairment, emotionless, lack of sexual desire, movement dysfunction.(some of them appeared 20 days after stopping treatment)

Pyhsical - 16 years old, 62 kilogram

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On 6/12/2018 at 11:30 AM, Cipro said:

Barbarannamated, I'm sorry for you. 18 Years such a long time and may take very long time to recover. I couldn't read all the post cause my English.
But I'm really wonder if there is anyone used short-term and healed "completely". I was studying to olympiads and I really must to be intelligent as I was. I think my problems caused by dopamine inhibition now.
Could you help me with your experience and information? Does 5HT2C antagonist solve this issue permanently? What should i do?

 

Cipro,

 

I'm very sorry you're experiencing this.  

 

My history is very long and involved MANY different drugs over the years, so I encourage others to not compare their own situation to mine. 

 

I haven't read your thread, but from what you've said here, I feel confident that you will heal well.  I would definitely not attempt to *correct* it with additional drugs.  

 

Hang in there and know that you have found the best knowledge and guidance available with Alto and others here on this site.  

 

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • 6 months later...
On 9/14/2011 at 9:10 PM, Rhiannon said:

I'm grateful for this thread, I am so frustrated about this too. Actually I have all sorts of ideas but I find it almost impossible to carry any of them through. Even simple things like buying an air conditioner and organizing some things around the house feel like huge obstacles; I can see them and think them through but there's just a disconnect between that and actually having the "oomph" to do them.

 

I'm not depressed. I've been depressed and this isn't that. There's just something missing. Unless there's some major reason why I have to do something due to outside forces, it's not going to happen. I just don't have the internal drive.

 

It's not exactly the same as anhedonia, for me, although it's closely connected and the two overlap, and I'm sure it's related as far as whatever's going on neurologically.

 

I like the analogy of impotence, actually--"general impotence", of life.

 

I've suffered from this for most of the 20 years I have been taking antidepressants. It's very interesting to hear other people describing the same thing.

 

Also, it seems to be worse when I'm having other withdrawal symptoms too, and seems to get better during my "hold" periods. But even at my best it's always still a problem.

 

Thanks so much for starting this discussion, I find it very reassuring to hear others describing the same thing, I have to say I have been beating myself up for 20 years about this.

Dear rhiannon

 

how is your emotional Anastesia now?

can this get better while still on drugs?

how can I bear this during my long withdrawl?

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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On 6/2/2014 at 3:03 AM, Newbeginning said:

I can relate to so much said here.

 

I remember having severe depression and still getting some adrenaline from deadlines that would help me get my school work done. Not anymore. No amount of guilt, sense of responsibility, dread of negative consequences or any other emotion/reward/punishment seems to have an effect on me.

 

I get to feel horrible afterwards, but I don't seem to be able to "learn from the lesson" from the negative consequences, so to speak.

 

I have relied on occassionally taking a stimulant to get through this. Not the best solution, but a better alternative that living with abnormal apathy and its consequences long enough to start thinking about suicide. I need that break from the stimulant to be able to go on. Literally.

 

I remember the first time I tried nuvigil (prescription stimulant meant to be used for people with narcolepsy). I realized that for months I had not been sitting straight, but rather slouching. I didn't even have the energy or motivation to sit upright. It was quite a revelation. Might seem like a small or silly thing, but it wasn't. You get so used to the apathy that it becomes a way of life. How could I argue this is not my personality when it is all me and others see expressed in my actions?

 

Apathy is also dangerous for our health. Obesity, stress, unstable sleep patterns, no motivation to eat well, exercise, be engaged or socialize. How could it not affect every aspect of our health in the long term? I know I gained a lot of weight in the last several years and I can see this abnormal apathy could have a lot to do with it.

 

My therapist was extremely frustrated with me. I could not follow through with any of the behavioral activation and other behavioral exercises she proposed.

 

Hard to believe, understand and explain how the day has 24 hours, but they go so fast when you're not connected to reality. Everything seems a blur. Every day seems like the one before. Months and years go by and I don't recall living that time.

 

I've often wondered if it's worth living this way, but I'm not giving up. If I'm still here after all this, might as well hang on to the faintest thread of hope.

 

If anyone feels like sharing, I'd like to know more about your experiences with this. Did you try and had any luck with behavioral activation?

 

How did you conclude this abnormal apathy was due to ssri use or withdrawal vs depression?

 

Any thoughts or experiences you share are much appreciated. Best of luck in your recovery journey :)

 

 

 

 

 

Dear newbeginning

how are you now?

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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On 8/23/2014 at 11:06 PM, westcoast said:

Glad to see others have what I call "paralysis of the will."

It is all I can do to keep my home safe from vermin. I don't eat very much because the prospect of the mere act of loading the dishwasher is almost devastating. Any task I have to do goes undone for days at a time. The thought of doing anything with multiple steps is crippling. My mind goes through the steps and collapses partway through, and I decide not to even try the task.

Some weekends I have only ONE goal: "Take out the trash." That's it; my whole list. And I don't always do it. I can't make myself stand up.

 

So when I hear that I should EXERCISE in order to feel better, I want to throw things (but can't make myself :)

 

I do walk my dogs, but I must say, neverly every step is an ordeal during which I want to turn around and go home. The idea of enjoying a simple neighborhood dog walk is unfathomable, with my brain shouting at me to go home, go home...





 

Dear westcoast

 

how are things now?

did the will to do things come back during taper or after?

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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This thread is awesome. It's another piece in the jigsaw falling into place. Here I've been thinking for years I'm just a boring lazy person. 

To think of all the lost years the lost opportunities the lost chances of trying new exciting things 😖

All I want now is to heal and become alive in every sense of the word. 

I'm so so glad to be on this journey with all of you. 

We can do this. 

How exciting is it going to be to see who we can become 💓💓

Lexapro 10MG

Almost continually for 25 odd years 

Reduced to 5MG beginning July 2018-  end August 2018

August 2018 til now off completely 

 

 

 

 

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What a wonderful thread!

It's so encouraging to read that other folks are having the same problem.

 

For years now I've been beating myself up over being lazy and undisciplined even though I came to suspect my medication.

 

It's exciting to me that as I get further along the process of tapering off my meds I could very well start feeling more motivated to live instead of just surviving.

 

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

1983 to 2016:  Didn't keep a record. Will try and find info and post here if/when I can.

 

Jan 2017:   paroxetine 50mg     risperidone   0.5mg     gabapentin   600mg     Ritalin 20mg     mirtazapine 30mg
Apr 2018:   paroxetine 25mg     risperidone   0.5mg     gabapentin 1800mg     Ritalin 20mg     mirtazapine 60mg
Aug 2018:  paroxetine 25mg     risperidone 0.25mg     gabapentin 1800mg     Ritalin 20mg     mirtazapine 60mg
Nov 2018:  paroxetine 25mg     risperidone 0.12mg     gabapentin 1800mg     Ritalin 20mg     mirtazapine 30mg
Dec 2018:  paroxetine 25mg     risperidone       0mg     gabapentin 1800mg     Ritalin 20mg     mirtazapine 30mg
Jan 2019:  paroxetine 25mg     risperidone       0mg     gabapentin 1800mg     Ritalin 20mg     mirtazapine 15mg

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On 12/26/2018 at 2:35 AM, Tanha said:

Dear newbeginning

how are you now?

 

Hello Tanha,

 

I apologize for the late response. I often miss the notifications from here, as they are not e-mailed like the private messages. 

 

To answer your question I need to give you a little bit of background on my situation first: have been tapering since 2014 and reached a roadblock around 2 years ago when I reached low doses (6mg prozac and 6mg effexor). At that point, withdrawal was too severe at even 10% cuts, and I was forced to hold my dose for long periods of time, in order to stabilize. When I finally stabilized, I tried Melatonin, and that caused withdrawal when I tried stopping it after about 3 months, so I am stuck tapering that now before I can try to decrease antidepressants again. 

 

Anhedonia for me is a side effect, rather than a withdrawal effect. It is not necessarily a dose-dependent side effect in my case, as I have experienced it at low doses too. It started on the medication, before I experienced any withdrawal. I've had it for 15 years at different degrees of severity, but it was 4 years ago that it became disabling (before that, I was able to function, bt only did the most necessary stuff like work/school). That's when I started tapering. 

 

I have had windows of improvement of anhedonia starting on year 2 of my taper. During these windows I feel about 30-60% better, depending on the day. On year 2, the window lasted about 2 months. On year 3, 4 months. On year 4 it's been 5 months, but this last month my mood has been lower, which makes me wonder if I'm heading for another relapse :(. But I'm fighting it with teeth and nails  💪🧠

 

It's important to mention that when I'm in a window, I do everything I can to maximize my gains. I was in intensive therapy for 8 months last year, and I use every tool I learned for emotion regulation, including tools for managing apathy/low motivation, fatigue, low mood. If I just relied on the improvement I get "naturally" during a window, I would probably not have as much improvement. I push myself a lot, as I see it as the only way to help rewire the brain. I rest a lot too, so it's a balance between pushing and resting that works best for me. It might be different for you, and I stringly suggest you lisen to your body and heart :) 

 

I am of course still on a substantial dose of medication  (especially Melatonin [70% of my initial dose]and Prozac [30% of my initial dose]), so that may delay my progress too.

 

I hope this is helpful. Please feel fre to reach out by PM too. If you reply here, please send me a PM to let me know, in case I miss it.

 

Good luck!

 

  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6012-newbeginning-my-withdrawal-story/?p=267313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • 11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads
  • 12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression; tried updosing to 17 beads Feb 7 but anxiety got worse; went down to 16 beads

    May 2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continues

  • September 2017: finally stabilized!!!!!! 09/07/2017-12/31/2017: hold

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  • 2 months later...
  • Mentor

https://nyti.ms/2HWzAg2

 

I post this link from the New York Times about procrastination because it made sense to me through the lens of withdrawal with one of the symptoms being lack of motivation/apathy. It posits that procrastination is what we do when we are managing bad/hard emotions. Or, I would say, like having no positive emotions at all (anhedonia). No amount of life hacks or productivity boosters are going to fix the problems since the root is managing emotions.

 

“Procrastination is an emotion regulation problem, not a time management problem,” said Dr. Tim Pychyl, professor of psychology and member of the Procrastination Research Group at Carleton University in Ottawa.

 

The solution: forgive yourself and self-compassion. Dear lord: I feel like these (along with "accept") are the emotional equivalents to eat your vegetables, get enough sleep, and exercise for the physical body. Be on the look-out for my new book on how to be a perfect human being in five easy steps 😛  Of course I would also add: don't do pharmaceuticals!

 

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Mentor

I struggle with a lifelong (drug-long) pattern of apathy that is getting worse as I age (late 40s). The apathy has also resulted in poor self-discipline. So, not only do I not want to do anything, but I don't even want to try to help myself when I'm feeling bad, it seems. Add to that a traumatic childhood of being neglected, and me repeating the pattern by neglecting myself, and it becomes a spiral, worse every year.

 

I've also gotten quite discouraged with social relationships, as I flit in and out due to mental and physical illness, and am not very reliable. I've kind of given up on trying to be involved because it feels too hard. But I'm lonely. My current friends aren't very available even if I ask to get together. We mostly text. I hate it.

 

It will be years before I'm done with all of the meds. It would probably be naiive to assume that my apathy habit will change magically when I'm off the meds.

 

Any coping tips for dealing with apathy, or anyone else just want to pop in and say 'me too'? It would be helpful to know I'm not alone. I know I need to start practicing the life skills I never developed. How do you work against that darn medication induced apathy? It's so sad because I allow it to rob me of life experiences. I'm kind of just existing.

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone bedtime.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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"me too"

 

This sounds very much like me in a lot of ways and I'm sure many members will relate on some level 

I hope it helps to tell you on the road to survival you will see glimmers of light. They may not last long sometimes but will be enough to inspire you to keep fighting. In my own experience I just went with the flow of what I was capable of doing. If I didn't feel like socializing I didn't. 

Just keep going and don't bash yourself up over everything. Little steps forward will soon turn into big steps forward. The apathy will slowly fall away. It is amazing to one day realize things are getting better and trust me they will.

You will be able to wear the Survivor badge 🏅🎖with pride 🎉

Keep fighting. You are so not alone!

Lexapro 10MG

Almost continually for 25 odd years 

Reduced to 5MG beginning July 2018-  end August 2018

August 2018 til now off completely 

 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor

NeverTooLate,

 

Your response helped me so much. Thank you!

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone bedtime.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Being high in copper, I read quite a bit about it as far as the mental implications, and much of what I saw mirrors what I see on this thread. Especially creating lists of brilliant plans and no energy to carry them out. My understanding is that copper in the brain converts dopamine to norepinephrine. If this happens to excess one gets the nervous energy of adrenaline, but little dopamine.

 

The way to treat this is zinc and b6, which, if you're suffering from adwd, isn't easy.

 

my two cents

20+ years EffexorXR 150mg. and Lorazepam PRN <- I rarely took this and never developed a problem.
2017 (nov-dec?) -> Feb 2018 fast taper - flipped out in Feb. Reinstated with 75mg-150mg (?not sure) stabilized
2018 Feb Began year long taper - somehow made it to 50pellets, did fine
          Sept -  17 bbs <-- where I started keeping track
           Oct - 16 bbs, Nov - 15 bbs, Dec - 14 bbs
2019 Jan - 13bbs, Feb - 12bbs, Feb Had problems - found SA
           March 19 - 15bbs,  April 17 - 20bbs  <--Updosing

 

Supplements: Multivitamin,  Fish Oil, B Complex, Magnesium, GABA,  L-Theanine, Inositol

Low sugar/carb diet, plenty of exercise. Meditation
Blood test Results: High in Copper, Low in Zinc, Very high whole blood hystamines

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hey, everyone. I thought I'd post this because I don't know what's going on.

 

I'm three months into lowering my Seroquel from 150 to 100 mg. I've definitely been depressed (tears, suicidal thoughts, darkness, etc) although that mostly seems to be behind me. What's weird is this feeling of slipping on the ice/weakness.

 

Say I think about doing something like going to a movie. In the past, on the drugs, I'd have to steel myself to do something like this because my meds always made me so anxious. But now that I'm off the drug and I think about going, instead I go to set my mind to do it, but it's like it slips on the ice and can't get any traction. It's like the fight I've had to fight for so long is gone and without it I don't know what to do? I don't know. It's so weird. I'm not really doing anything these days, I'm just sitting around, swimming, or going on long drives hoping I'll feel better.

 

Part of me wants to throw in the towel and go back on the meds? I don't know what the answer is. I see my doctor in another two weeks.

As of May 28th, 2020:

15 mg liquid Prozac

12.5 mg Imovane

50 mg Seroquel

20 mg Propranolol 3x a day

0.5 mg Clonazepam 3x a day

Supplements including Omega 3 fish oil, vitamin B complexes, magnesium, vitamins A, C, and E

 

 

 

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On 5/23/2019 at 9:33 PM, FleeingFluoxetine said:

Hey, everyone. I thought I'd post this because I don't know what's going on.

 

I'm three months into lowering my Seroquel from 150 to 100 mg. I've definitely been depressed (tears, suicidal thoughts, darkness, etc) although that mostly seems to be behind me. What's weird is this feeling of slipping on the ice/weakness.

 

Say I think about doing something like going to a movie. In the past, on the drugs, I'd have to steel myself to do something like this because my meds always made me so anxious. But now that I'm off the drug and I think about going, instead I go to set my mind to do it, but it's like it slips on the ice and can't get any traction. It's like the fight I've had to fight for so long is gone and without it I don't know what to do? I don't know. It's so weird. I'm not really doing anything these days, I'm just sitting around, swimming, or going on long drives hoping I'll feel better.

 

Part of me wants to throw in the towel and go back on the meds? I don't know what the answer is. I see my doctor in another two weeks.

Could you try to describe the thought processes that usually go through your head when you’re trying to do something now please?

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  • Administrator

I think this may be the demotivating effect of psychiatric drugs. Merged with similar topic.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Altostrata changed the title to Disconnect between interest and action or motivation
16 hours ago, bluestone said:

Could you try to describe the thought processes that usually go through your head when you’re trying to do something now please?

 

It's just so weird. Like I think "Okay, I'm going to try to see a movie" and then I get this feeling of weakness in my chest and I don't want to go because I'm tired of all the strange feelings. As for what's going in my head, I'll try to write them all down.

As of May 28th, 2020:

15 mg liquid Prozac

12.5 mg Imovane

50 mg Seroquel

20 mg Propranolol 3x a day

0.5 mg Clonazepam 3x a day

Supplements including Omega 3 fish oil, vitamin B complexes, magnesium, vitamins A, C, and E

 

 

 

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12 hours ago, Altostrata said:

I think this may be the demotivating effect of psychiatric drugs. Merged with similar topic.

 

It could be. I've read that Seroquel causes depression. I'd love to lower it further but I can't go through that hell again. If I ever reduce it again, I'll go by 10% and not 30%, which was stupid of me. :)

As of May 28th, 2020:

15 mg liquid Prozac

12.5 mg Imovane

50 mg Seroquel

20 mg Propranolol 3x a day

0.5 mg Clonazepam 3x a day

Supplements including Omega 3 fish oil, vitamin B complexes, magnesium, vitamins A, C, and E

 

 

 

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On 9/19/2011 at 11:34 PM, Rhiannon said:

🙂

 

I love this forum.

So do I, now that I've found it. I am learning so much from all of you.

Btw, I suffer from demotivation too. I do the research, make a plan (about my imaginary new business), and then simply fail to carry it out.

Keeping in mind that I've lived with epilepsy and never been dismayed, founded a successful business, and am a published writer, it's almost unfathomable how I cannot rinse and repeat ever since I started ADs. Just don't have the intensity.  

I've even given up on writing, since I have now lost the discipline to concentrate on my thoughts, and when I get a bright idea, I lack the desire to transfer it to paper.

So here I sit. Only doing things when they become absolutely imperative. I'm no longer happy, nor afraid, nor motivated, not sad--just breathing.

It's actually this limbo which I went to get rid off. Hence this forum and why I want off my meds.

Damn the health industry.

 

2012- Citalopram 40- Axal 0.5mg  2017- Stopped Axal CT. No WD.

2017 - Effexor XR 75 mg.

For Epilepsy:1983 - Tegral 400 mg/day  2009 - Lumark 1000 mg/day- Biotim eyedrops for glaucoma.

27 April 2019 - Effexor XR taper started. 40 beads removed - 16% - 63mg20 May - 10% - 20 beads. 57mg / 3 June - 10% - 20 beads - 51mg / 18 July - 6% -10 beads - 48mg / 20 July - 7% -10 beads- 44.5mg/ 1 Sept - 75 mg alternate days = 37.5 mg/ 14 Sept - 75 mg every 3rd day = 25mg/  22 Sept - Effexor XR stopped.

27 Oct - Tegral = 300mg. Citalopram = 30 mg. Lumark = 500mg Busron = 10 mg. Somna = 2.5 mg

1-Jan 2020 Tegral 200mg BD- Citalopram 20mg OD- Lumark 500BD

25 Apr 2020 Tegral 200 mg BD- Citalopram alternate days 20 mg and 10 mg OD - Lumark 500BD

May June 2020 Dropped to 10 mg citalopram due to drug shortages.

Early July 2020: CT'ed citalopram - nonavailability of medicine. Tegral + Lumark remains same as before.

 

 

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Bear in mind that the population at large suffers from motivational issues to an extent. Getting some sun and abstaining from my motivation depressors (sugar, caffeine, binging on the internet, etc.) boosts my motivation by a lot.

- March 2017: 50mg Sertraline starts

- August 2017: up to 100mg

- February 2018: down to 50mg

- November 2018: one-week taper down to 0mg

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  • Altostrata changed the title to Overwhelmed, demotivated, apathetic? Cannot get going on interest or action
  • 7 months later...
On 4/6/2019 at 10:55 AM, ShiningLight said:

Any coping tips for dealing with apathy, or anyone else just want to pop in and say 'me too'? It would be helpful to know I'm not alone. 

Me too.

 

I just try to pass the day. In the evening I watch Netflix with my wife. That helps spend soe time. Otherwise I just live in a boring way with no interests.

2012- Citalopram 40- Axal 0.5mg  2017- Stopped Axal CT. No WD.

2017 - Effexor XR 75 mg.

For Epilepsy:1983 - Tegral 400 mg/day  2009 - Lumark 1000 mg/day- Biotim eyedrops for glaucoma.

27 April 2019 - Effexor XR taper started. 40 beads removed - 16% - 63mg20 May - 10% - 20 beads. 57mg / 3 June - 10% - 20 beads - 51mg / 18 July - 6% -10 beads - 48mg / 20 July - 7% -10 beads- 44.5mg/ 1 Sept - 75 mg alternate days = 37.5 mg/ 14 Sept - 75 mg every 3rd day = 25mg/  22 Sept - Effexor XR stopped.

27 Oct - Tegral = 300mg. Citalopram = 30 mg. Lumark = 500mg Busron = 10 mg. Somna = 2.5 mg

1-Jan 2020 Tegral 200mg BD- Citalopram 20mg OD- Lumark 500BD

25 Apr 2020 Tegral 200 mg BD- Citalopram alternate days 20 mg and 10 mg OD - Lumark 500BD

May June 2020 Dropped to 10 mg citalopram due to drug shortages.

Early July 2020: CT'ed citalopram - nonavailability of medicine. Tegral + Lumark remains same as before.

 

 

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  • 1 month later...
On 9/14/2011 at 6:45 PM, Barbarannamated said:

I just read Cine's intro in which he mentioned the disconnect between interest (vague, blunted emotion in my case) and ability to DO something with that interest. I beat myself up so badly about this. I read of things that i would like to get involved with and actually get fairly excited. For a few minutes. Then it's gone. I've been in NEUTRAL for so long. I see roads I'd like to explore, but cannot shift into DRIVE. When I do manage to do something, it's a last minute chance happening, as if I'm on a downgrade and gravity gets me there. Planning is impossible.

What is this and how can I deal with it better? I have the emotional blunting and amotivation, then guilt. I used to be so different. I planned things for groups. The organizer. Now I can't seem to plan 5 minutes ahead.

I hate that feeling of apathy.
It's different from depression
Everything would be fine but not
I would like to do many things, but I can't start
I understand it's caused by an antidepressant
I don't know if it's a withdrawal symptom or a side effect
I would like to give up the medicine immediately, but that is not possible and sensible
It makes me angry, I'm really looking forward to getting rid of i

Xanax 0,5mg           1999-2019  a Xanax 0,5mg  a few times a month, if necessary

Cymbalta 30mg      2012-25.04.2018  tapering for 2-3 months,severe symptoms 1 week after the last dose

Amitriptyline  25mg   25.05.18-20.01.19 ,tapering in 2-3 months, insomnia, panic-anxiety, confusion, nausea

Valdoxan 25mg  10.02.19-10.03.19, did not stabilize the situation, Lorazepam  10.02.19-20.02.19  if necessary overnight 

Brintellix 5mg     10.03.19-30.06.19 ,did not stabilize the situation,  fears, confusion and insomnia, I was in the hospital for 1 week 

Olanzapine 5mg   01.03.19-02.08.19,to relieve insomnia, confusion increases, depression increases, severe akathisia occurs

Cymbalta 30mg 30.06.19-01.08.19,no longer works, the situation does not stabilize, again in the hospital for 2 weeks

Levomepromazine 5mg  03.08.19-20.12.19  helped sleep but increased confusion and depression

Anafranil 03.08.19-15.12.19   dose 75mg

  15.12.19-  tapering     every 3-4 weeks    17.05.20  was the dose  35mg , 01.01.21  was the dose 27mg     On 16.07.21 the daily dose was 19 mg     01.06.22  the daily dose of 11mg  I can make dose reductions less often, about every 6-8 weeks

 

                 

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On 4/25/2019 at 6:56 PM, DogLover said:

Being high in copper, I read quite a bit about it as far as the mental implications, and much of what I saw mirrors what I see on this thread. Especially creating lists of brilliant plans and no energy to carry them out. My understanding is that copper in the brain converts dopamine to norepinephrine. If this happens to excess one gets the nervous energy of adrenaline, but little dopamine.

 

The way to treat this is zinc and b6, which, if you're suffering from adwd, isn't easy.

 

my two cents

My blood level also showed low levels of zinc
Could zinc intake improve things, I mean feelings or anxiety?

Xanax 0,5mg           1999-2019  a Xanax 0,5mg  a few times a month, if necessary

Cymbalta 30mg      2012-25.04.2018  tapering for 2-3 months,severe symptoms 1 week after the last dose

Amitriptyline  25mg   25.05.18-20.01.19 ,tapering in 2-3 months, insomnia, panic-anxiety, confusion, nausea

Valdoxan 25mg  10.02.19-10.03.19, did not stabilize the situation, Lorazepam  10.02.19-20.02.19  if necessary overnight 

Brintellix 5mg     10.03.19-30.06.19 ,did not stabilize the situation,  fears, confusion and insomnia, I was in the hospital for 1 week 

Olanzapine 5mg   01.03.19-02.08.19,to relieve insomnia, confusion increases, depression increases, severe akathisia occurs

Cymbalta 30mg 30.06.19-01.08.19,no longer works, the situation does not stabilize, again in the hospital for 2 weeks

Levomepromazine 5mg  03.08.19-20.12.19  helped sleep but increased confusion and depression

Anafranil 03.08.19-15.12.19   dose 75mg

  15.12.19-  tapering     every 3-4 weeks    17.05.20  was the dose  35mg , 01.01.21  was the dose 27mg     On 16.07.21 the daily dose was 19 mg     01.06.22  the daily dose of 11mg  I can make dose reductions less often, about every 6-8 weeks

 

                 

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On 5/9/2020 at 12:35 PM, Estman said:

My blood level also showed low levels of zinc
Could zinc intake improve things, I mean feelings or anxiety?

 

Hi Estman!

 

Back when I wrote this I was HIGHLY agitated and going through severe Effexor WD symptoms. I was not thinking clearly. I now suspect my symptoms were most likely caused by low serotonin (or effectively low serotonin). Luckily, I was able to stabilize my mood by increasing my Effexor dose. Since, then I've learned quite a bit. I did go through testing with copper (mildly high) and zinc (low), for which I supplement Zn.  I'm sure that Zn has helped my mood somewhat, but not in a short-term noticeable way. My own opinion is it would be like worrying tire pressure while your car is engulfed in flames. I doubt it's going to make a difference.  

 

I did, however, receive AMAZING benefits from amino acid therapy, but I hesitate to recommend it to those going through WD hell. Not that I have reason to suspect it dangerous or agitating. I just don't know. I didn't take any supplements while in that state. 


-DL



 

20+ years EffexorXR 150mg. and Lorazepam PRN <- I rarely took this and never developed a problem.
2017 (nov-dec?) -> Feb 2018 fast taper - flipped out in Feb. Reinstated with 75mg-150mg (?not sure) stabilized
2018 Feb Began year long taper - somehow made it to 50pellets, did fine
          Sept -  17 bbs <-- where I started keeping track
           Oct - 16 bbs, Nov - 15 bbs, Dec - 14 bbs
2019 Jan - 13bbs, Feb - 12bbs, Feb Had problems - found SA
           March 19 - 15bbs,  April 17 - 20bbs  <--Updosing

 

Supplements: Multivitamin,  Fish Oil, B Complex, Magnesium, GABA,  L-Theanine, Inositol

Low sugar/carb diet, plenty of exercise. Meditation
Blood test Results: High in Copper, Low in Zinc, Very high whole blood hystamines

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Hello,

I'm trying to raise my low zinc levels
My depression alternates with fear
Even when I sleep normally, waking up has an inexplicable feeling of fear
There is no reason for that, my life is otherwise fine
Does anyone experience fear?
Is this a withdrawal symptom that passes?
Can't describe in detail
Fear and bad mood for no reason

 

Xanax 0,5mg           1999-2019  a Xanax 0,5mg  a few times a month, if necessary

Cymbalta 30mg      2012-25.04.2018  tapering for 2-3 months,severe symptoms 1 week after the last dose

Amitriptyline  25mg   25.05.18-20.01.19 ,tapering in 2-3 months, insomnia, panic-anxiety, confusion, nausea

Valdoxan 25mg  10.02.19-10.03.19, did not stabilize the situation, Lorazepam  10.02.19-20.02.19  if necessary overnight 

Brintellix 5mg     10.03.19-30.06.19 ,did not stabilize the situation,  fears, confusion and insomnia, I was in the hospital for 1 week 

Olanzapine 5mg   01.03.19-02.08.19,to relieve insomnia, confusion increases, depression increases, severe akathisia occurs

Cymbalta 30mg 30.06.19-01.08.19,no longer works, the situation does not stabilize, again in the hospital for 2 weeks

Levomepromazine 5mg  03.08.19-20.12.19  helped sleep but increased confusion and depression

Anafranil 03.08.19-15.12.19   dose 75mg

  15.12.19-  tapering     every 3-4 weeks    17.05.20  was the dose  35mg , 01.01.21  was the dose 27mg     On 16.07.21 the daily dose was 19 mg     01.06.22  the daily dose of 11mg  I can make dose reductions less often, about every 6-8 weeks

 

                 

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On 5/14/2020 at 2:22 PM, DogLover said:

 

Hi Estman!

 

Back when I wrote this I was HIGHLY agitated and going through severe Effexor WD symptoms. I was not thinking clearly. I now suspect my symptoms were most likely caused by low serotonin (or effectively low serotonin). Luckily, I was able to stabilize my mood by increasing my Effexor dose. Since, then I've learned quite a bit. I did go through testing with copper (mildly high) and zinc (low), for which I supplement Zn.  I'm sure that Zn has helped my mood somewhat, but not in a short-term noticeable way. My own opinion is it would be like worrying tire pressure while your car is engulfed in flames. I doubt it's going to make a difference.  

 

I did, however, receive AMAZING benefits from amino acid therapy, but I hesitate to recommend it to those going through WD hell. Not that I have reason to suspect it dangerous or agitating. I just don't know. I didn't take any supplements while in that state. 


-DL



 

@DogLover did you use the amino acids while still in Effexor? 

Aug 2004 - Dec 2006: Aropax ( 20mg - 30mg). Aug 2007: Fluoxetine (for 3 weeks).

Sept 07 - July 12: Lexapro ( 10mg - 20mg). Pooped out July 12. Titrated down off Lexapro over 3 weeks and switched to Paroxetine (with Xanax to cover switch for 2 weeks).

Aug 2012 - Aug 2019: Paroxetine (titrated up to 20mg in first few weeks,, dose reduced to 15mg . for 7 years until it 'pooped out'.

4th Aug 2019 - Reduced dose of paroxetine to 10mg (for 1 day) - under phychiatrists directions. Last dose of paroxetine.

5th Aug 2019 - Switch to 15mg Mirtazapine.

5th Aug - 15th Aug 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine plus intermitent use of Lorazapm (0.25- 0.5 . Also used 12.5mg Quetiapine for 3 nights for sleep.

23rd Aug 2019 - Ended up in crisis team. Mirtazapine increased to 30mg. Diazapam 10mg twice daily.

30th Aug 2019 - Mirtazapine 30mg + Diazapam reduced to 7.5mg twice daily

6th Sept 2019 - Mirtazapine 30mg + Diazapam reduced to 5mg twice daily

13th Sept 2019 - Mirtazapine increased to 45mg. Diazapam increased back up to 10mg twice daily.

20th Sept - 29th Sept 2019: Mirtazapine 45mg. Diazapam being reduced from 10mg down to 0mg this week (in 2mg increments couple of days).

30th Sept - Thursday 3rd Oct 2019: Mirtazapine 45mg. WORST ANXIETY EVER. Akathisia. Couldn't stay still. Suicidal idealization.

Friday 4th October - present: Reduced from 45mg to 30mg (straight drop to alleviate akathisia - reduction definitely helped alot but still not gone completely)

, Vit B6, Curcumin, Magnesium (no adverse effects from adding these supplements - have helped akathisia somewhat).

* Everything done from 23rd August under care of outpatient crisis team management.

 

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Yes. I'm still on Effexor. ( 25 bbs x .6mg/bbs = 15 mg). Carefully tapering down at 10%/month. I'm in no real hurry as I'm happy and healthy.  I have noticed that there were no noticeable effects from the last few cuts, so I may up the pace.  

 

I read all kinds of warnings about SSRI and the dangers of 5HTP, but it was in my nature to ignore all that. Sometimes that approach works out for me and sometimes it doesn't. (After all, I'm here aren't I?) So, I just went slow with the supplements and things just started clicking.

 

A few key facts I wanted to make sure I say loud and clear:

-Supplements didn't help with my SSRI withdrawals, increasing my SSRI did.

-Supplement were not tried for my SSRI withdrawals. (not in any meaningful way)

-Supplements may or may not help with wd. I just don't know. I'm not "for" or "against" trying them for wd.

-After I stabilized from SSRI withdrawals, supplements removed my lifetime anxiety and depression. (Along with other things like diet, exercise )

20+ years EffexorXR 150mg. and Lorazepam PRN <- I rarely took this and never developed a problem.
2017 (nov-dec?) -> Feb 2018 fast taper - flipped out in Feb. Reinstated with 75mg-150mg (?not sure) stabilized
2018 Feb Began year long taper - somehow made it to 50pellets, did fine
          Sept -  17 bbs <-- where I started keeping track
           Oct - 16 bbs, Nov - 15 bbs, Dec - 14 bbs
2019 Jan - 13bbs, Feb - 12bbs, Feb Had problems - found SA
           March 19 - 15bbs,  April 17 - 20bbs  <--Updosing

 

Supplements: Multivitamin,  Fish Oil, B Complex, Magnesium, GABA,  L-Theanine, Inositol

Low sugar/carb diet, plenty of exercise. Meditation
Blood test Results: High in Copper, Low in Zinc, Very high whole blood hystamines

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello,

 

I was normal for a few weeks and decided a week ago to try to reduce
Since the 2.5mg reduction was too big, I reduced only 1mg this time
At the moment I am currently on a 34mg daily dose
Anxiety and restlessness and fear arose from day 7
This has now lasted for the last 3 days
My plan was to reduce 1mg every 2 weeks
Maybe it's smoother
Unfortunately, even with a small dose change, withdrawal symptoms have occurred

Xanax 0,5mg           1999-2019  a Xanax 0,5mg  a few times a month, if necessary

Cymbalta 30mg      2012-25.04.2018  tapering for 2-3 months,severe symptoms 1 week after the last dose

Amitriptyline  25mg   25.05.18-20.01.19 ,tapering in 2-3 months, insomnia, panic-anxiety, confusion, nausea

Valdoxan 25mg  10.02.19-10.03.19, did not stabilize the situation, Lorazepam  10.02.19-20.02.19  if necessary overnight 

Brintellix 5mg     10.03.19-30.06.19 ,did not stabilize the situation,  fears, confusion and insomnia, I was in the hospital for 1 week 

Olanzapine 5mg   01.03.19-02.08.19,to relieve insomnia, confusion increases, depression increases, severe akathisia occurs

Cymbalta 30mg 30.06.19-01.08.19,no longer works, the situation does not stabilize, again in the hospital for 2 weeks

Levomepromazine 5mg  03.08.19-20.12.19  helped sleep but increased confusion and depression

Anafranil 03.08.19-15.12.19   dose 75mg

  15.12.19-  tapering     every 3-4 weeks    17.05.20  was the dose  35mg , 01.01.21  was the dose 27mg     On 16.07.21 the daily dose was 19 mg     01.06.22  the daily dose of 11mg  I can make dose reductions less often, about every 6-8 weeks

 

                 

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  • 11 months later...

I clicked on this bc it said “overwhelmed “, but I didn’t see anyone mention that specifically. That is the word I’ve used over & over to describe my life for the past 2 yrs. I have had some apathy too, but I thought it was caused by my greatly increased fatigue (past 1.5 yrs). Everything I try or want to do just seems too much. Too much stimulation, things to do I’ll never get done, people needing me. I retreat to my room every chance I get. I have this overwhelming urge to get away from everything. Leaving the house or social engagements are super draining. Weekend trips take all week to recover from. My poor husband 😆.

 

The thing is, this is kinda my personality all my life, but it’s increased 4 fold while on AD. I have cut back on SO much (covid helped with that some ;) ). I’m a homeschool mom with 3 boys, one of whom is a toddler, so even just that is a lot for healthy people. So then the irritability started from just feeling overwhelmed all. The. Time. 
 

Just looking for hope this will go away once I’m off! I had no clue it was caused by the drugs till I went off for 3 weeks & my energy, motivation, patience, & ability to live in the moment sky rocketed. Will that last, or will I crash after a few weeks after I’m off? Thanks for reading. ❤️

May 2019 started lexapro 2.5 mg; 2020 went to every other day; 2021 beginning of Mar, tried to stop but had insomnia; Mar 30, 2021 reinstated 1.25 ev other day, WD symptoms, not enough

April 19, 2021 started liquid, .85 mg/day; May 1, 2021 .8 mg/day; May 6, 2021 .75 mg/day; June 6, 2021 .7 mg/day, June 20, 2021 .65mg/day, June 30, 2021 .6mg/day, Jul 24 .55 mg/day, Oct 17 .5 mg/day, Dec 5- .45 mg/day

Jan 26, 2022- 4mg/day; April 18- .375 lex; April 24- .35 lex; April 29- .3 lex; Jun 12- .25 mg lex; Jun 28- .2 mg lex

Magnesium, ALA, melatonin or theanine as needed for sleep

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  • Moderator

@Dee12h

 

More people will see your post if you put it on your own thread in Introductions and Updates.   If a post is about your situation, that's where it should go.

 

Are you currently off Lexapro?  Did you jump to zero at 7.5mg or are you still on this dose?

 

Please answer on your own thread preceded by @Gridley (and click on the little rectangle that appears when you type that) so I'll be sure to see your response.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper.   

March 22, 2022: hold at 4.8mg and shift to Imipramine taper

Aug. 5, 2022: shift to Valium taper.  

Current dose as of Aug. 5, 2022: 4.3mg

Taper is 77% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan-Sept 2016 tapered to 16mg.  

Held until Aug 2021, tapered for 4 weeks to 14.4mg

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper.  Current dose as of Aug. 5: 9.5mg 

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5 and shift to Valium taper

Taper is 87% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, zinc, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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