InNeedOfHope: Cymbalta hell - is it impossible for some people?

[InNeedOfHope]

Thank you for you kind messages, I am crying as I write this because the pain is intolerable. Every day my husband asks out of 10 where I am at and now every day I am at 10.

 

I have emailed Dr Huws today, so I will wait to see. The GP has also referred me back to the neurologist, but I don't hold out much hope for what he can do, she is worried and concerned, can't give me the one to slow down my heart (Propranlol) because of asthma, but does not know what to do. She said she would not like to live like me.

 

I am on the verge of losing my job and it is time to hand my notice in now, which also breaks my heart but this is about survival.

 

I reduced by only one bead last week to reduce the horror of the akathesia of the week before, it seemed to bring it down a notch and I thought maybe I can bring this under control. As the week went on my head pain healed a little, but by last night I had declined sharply, so I dropped one bead. I am in severe akathesia mode again and it seems one bead this week is not enough (if I am in tolerance that makes sense) and so tonight I will have to up it to 2 and await the hell this will bring. Better to be in hell from going too fast than from tolerance which is solving nothing I try to reason.

 

I went without valium for a year doing this, but I am having to resort to it now which I hate as I am frightened of rebound anxiety and pain and addiction. How pathetic I can only bring myself to touch one gram at a time, which doesn't really do anything.

 

Baths, massage etc, do nothing, only pacing and jerking and crying bring relief, but then I get pain after that subsides of a different kind. My family are at their wits end with how to help me. It is very distressing for them.

 

I really fear more and more I won't make this. Severe akathesia has to be controlled by drugs and it is getting worse and worse.

 

Food goes straight through me now, I am losing weight again. I feel I am being stabbed all over (particularly in my uterus and bladder) and my lungs and right leg and kidney and internal organs feel as if they are being crushed. Facial pain, pain in my teeth, jaw, eyes.

 

When someone has such a sensitivity as I, I hear such bad stories of switching,as the receptors are just too downregulated to tolerate anything new or different.

 

I do analyse, I know I do, because if I don't watch my symptoms and drop at the precise moment I will lose any hope of getting off this medicine. Judging this moment is proving so stressful in itself.

 

I wonder again if scales are of any benefit, some of the beads are large, some are pinpricks. I know people don't usually use scales for beads but has anyone heard of this being done?

 

Please help me hang on

[Altostrata]

Hang in there, InNeed, in time you'll be better.

 

Can you take medical leave rather than resigning from your job?

[tezza]

I'm so sorry for the pain you're in. I know that doesn't help much, but do remember we are all pulling for you. {{{Hugs}}}

[InNeedOfHope]

My contract would be up in July anyway and I don't think it would be renewed given the amount of sick leave I have had.

 

I know that as I had had an adverse reaction and my body wants rid of it, I just wonder it there is something to be said for going too slow?

 

If my brain adapted that rapidly to it, maybe that is why I have such problems now staying on one dose as it cries out for more and holding for a lenght of time is making it worse?

 

I m sorry for all the questions I am just trying to find a way through.

[Altostrata]

InNeed, if you taper faster, you'll have to deal with the withdrawal symptoms. If you just quit, you'll have to deal with the withdrawal symptoms. The rate of taper is your choice.

 

Your body isn't "crying out for more." It's in a cycle of neurological upheaval brought on by your earlier withdrawal. It isn't happy with more, it isn't happy when you hold at one level, and it isn't happy with less.

 

You have to figure out what's the best way to minimize symptoms.

[Lor95]

I hope I haven't made things worse by suggesting InNeed read my thread.

AS I PMed you InNeed, it was more to reassure you that tapering can really be this hard and difficult to interpret for some people. Yet people (like Punar) get through....she found her own way, which will not be the same as mine and not the same as yours.

 

My intention was never to confuse you further....just to give you some hope that even people with less than straightforward tapers still can make it.

Lotty

xxx

[strawberry17]

InNeed I have nothing of any use to add, but just want to let you know that I really feel for you, and care, I'm really hoping you hear back from someone who can give you some constructive help.

[InNeedOfHope]

Thank you for your support.

 

I have had a reply from the doctor:

 

Thanks for your note. We don’t routinely offer medical advice as we are a campaigning network – but we will be discussing this in our next meeting in March.

 

However if you let me know where you live then I can distribute among our members and someone may be able to help.

 

So for now I am still on my own doctor wise.

 

It seems for me that there is such a thing as going too slow.....

 

The one bead reduction on Sunday was not enough, I was in hell yesterday declining rapidly.....so I sweated all day going over and over my diary trying to work it out and in the end I decided 1 bead was not enough, I wasn't going too fast I was going too slow. So I took the plunge and dropped two. I felt as if I could not breath, being stangled and my lungs being squashed. I panicked and then by 10pm it began to recede, I slept most of the night and the pain went to manageable levels by morning, the akathesia had died down.

 

So reading the thread recommended by Lori helped, so thank you.

 

The thing is in future drops it is going to be so difficult to guage what is too fast, what is too slow, I suppose if I drop and get no relief it is not enough...but I need to act quickly to stop it because it really does decline at a fast pace.

 

So too fast=akathesia....too slow=akathesia.

 

Will update signature when I can ....16.5mg now.

 

I know thrillers are not to be recommended but I read the book 'Before I Go To Sleep' in two days. It was easy reading and I could not put it down,wanting to know what came next and how it would end, read most of it today. So for anyone who wants distraction, have a look.

[Altostrata]

InNeed, tell Dr. Huws where you live. He is going to try and find a doctor to help you near you.

 

If you asked him what you should do, his answer was appropriate. Doctors cannot treat patients they've never seen via e-mail.

[strawberry17]

I am a huge fan of books and reading as a distraction. You might like Frederick Forsyth, have you got a Kindle?

[InNeedOfHope]

I haven't got a Kindle, but will look into that author, thank you Strawberry as I agree books are a good distraction.

[InNeedOfHope]

I didn't expect advice via email, as of course without a full history I know a doctor could not make an informed judgement, just to perhaps be told of any doctors who might be understanding of withdrawal, just forgot to put in the email where I live.

 

However, advice did come today via email, here it is:

 

1) stop being your own doctor 2) stop looking for the latest antidepressant 3) ask vour doctor for the oldest one 4) undertake to attend weekly to monitor how it's going and for him/her to increase the dose until the effective doseage is reached 5) stay on it for at least a year before very cautiously attempting to reduce iit, and of course doing so only with your doctor's supervision 6) sounds as if you need,for reassurance, a thorough physical by a consultant physician As an elementary courtesy, please show this letter to your doctor. Good luck, Harold

 

I read the initial email I sent to my sponsor at CITA who thought there was no element of me diagnosing myself unduly, nor asking for the latest antidepressant (2). I do talk about intolerance to these drugs, which is not just my observation, but one made by my doctor and the neurologist I saw. I did mentioned my doctors worries about a Prozac switch. I know I have no problems with my heart or kidneys etc as far as can be diagnosed here today. I do know that I have erratic behaviour in both areas (hopefully temporarily), as my doctor felt them bad enough to rush me to hospital in November and also diagnosed a kidney infection (although this turned out to be benign) . These are observations by a doctor, not me.

 

No one wants to attempt to be their own doctor nor analyse their own situation, but when there is no one else to do it or so many mistakes have been made with being given medicines inappropriately (Ciprofloxacin) which my GP observed is listed in the BNF as NOT to be given, then I see it as only human to try to help solve my situation myself, until such a time I find someone who understands or whose advice I can trust in. I have to do this as staying at one dose makes me decline and so I have to navigate these drops myself.

[InNeedOfHope]

ps Altostrata, thanks for trying to find someone to help

[Altostrata]

Who sent you that e-mail? It is indeed clueless.

 

If it was from someone contacted by Dr. Huws, I apologize for suggesting it.

[Barbarannamated]

I'm speechless. Is there any way to see the Neurologist who admitted to being wrong in his initial evaluation?

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.

[strawberry17]

Oh my goodness, I felt quite gutted for you when I read that e mail

[Barbarannamated]

InNeed,

 

This is a website of an MD/Consultant I've heard of although I don't have any firsthand knowledge of his work. He's in California but does phone consults. Might know of someone in your area.

His site has info on quinolone dangers as well as antidepressants. http://medicationsense.com

[InNeedOfHope]

Thank you all for your replies.

 

It was someone asked to contact me by Dr Huws, as he was copied in on the reply. Please do not apologise, you are only trying to help someone in a desperate situation. Needless to say the advice given is not for me.

 

I have been referred by my GP back to the neurologist, not sure how long that will take. Not sure he can help any, but he may understand and may have suggestions, he was at least willing to admit only the medicication could have caused paralysis,hearing loss and bleeding from the ear.

 

Barb - thank you for looking that up, to be honest I am scared to look as I am quite frightened by any damage done by the Cipro, I know I went into severe WD on it because I was in agony and it has perhaps contributed to where I am now. Again, it would be very hard to prove the theory. I dug the medicine leaflet out and sure enough there in the small print is an instruction not to take Cipro. I was in hospital, in their care and OCD about any medicines I was given. They treated me with disrespect and almost annoyance because I would not take their doses of anti inflammatories and opiates for the pain.

 

They did not understand. Not only did they treated me like a fool, as if I was imagining what was happening to me, saying I needed help for depression. Yes..I needed help....protecting for them by being given inappropriate medicines. Is crying in pain from incorrect medicine, a signal a person needs medication for depression? Not sure if I can complain, but feel I want to, to have an apology and to stop it happening to someone else.

 

I am approaching day four/five...traditionally my worst days. I have had no akathesia for 3 days now, since Monday, so that in itself is a relief. Akathesia, that is the worst part of this.

[Barbarannamated]

I understand and respect your need to limit exposure to info. I get overloaded very easily and my situation is far less painful or complex.

I have a good feeling about the neurologist.

[Altostrata]

InNeed, absolutely do not take this doctor's e-mail personally. Clearly, he is suffering from his own unpleasant personality issues.

 

Try and calm yourself, this e-mail means nothing but that there is yet another clueless doctor out there.

[InNeedOfHope]

I am at 16.2mg.

 

The last 48 hours have been hell, the worst yet. The worst pain I could ever imagine, being stabbed internally and feeling electrocuted all over my body, my right leg and foot feels as if it is being crushed. Severe head pain, uncontrollable shaking.

 

I can't get this right, I can't judge these drops correctly. As it gets worse the longer I am on a dose, I have no option but to drop, but the pain is beating me.

 

My GP does not know what to do. She has referred me to a neurologist but I imagine it will be more medicines.

 

It isn't just a case of riding out the pain each time, the pain is steadily getting worse and I am getting phobic about dropping each time, because of a fear of what is coming, but also because for the last month it has been getting steadily worse.

 

I have seen a CBT person and the advice is to succumb to the pain but how do you do that when you are being stabbed and electocuted.

 

I don't have much more strength in me. I know I don't have the strength physicallly or otherwise to see this through.

 

This is not wd talking, this is me. I saw my parents in a great deal of pain before they passed away and I would not have wanted them to have it prolonged, because I loved them. It isn't as if the end of this is anywhere in sight for me, going at this pace I am looking at between 2 and 3 years. If it is this bad now, then goodness knows what it will be like in a year let alone two months.

 

I have tried tiny doses of valium but it doesnt really touch it, I admit I am scared to death of another addiction.

 

Everyone thinks they are the worst case, I know that.

 

There is something evil about this drug. Something very powerful pain wise. I haven't seen one single instance of anyone in tolerance WD, in this kind of pain, who has made it off this drug.

 

I know I can't take this much longer.

[InNeedOfHope]

Some beads are tiny some are big, as I am getting lower, the discrepancy is probably proportionately showing up more and more.

 

My GP has contacted two manufacturers Rosemounts (who say they dont do it in a liquid) and surprisingly another one called Martindales who says it is out of stock?????? Yet, Cita rang Martindales and they said they don't do it but could try and outsource it. Dr. Healy says it does exist. He has said it twice in two e mails now. But where is it?

 

Would scales help? Has anyone bothered to use them for beads?

 

I am desperate here

[InNeedOfHope]

i took the valium 2mg amd i dont feel right i feel suicidal. i don t feel in control anymore (not that i was) i feel not right now. i am scared of doctors and what they might do to me. I have never felt this hopeless before. Not like this.

[autimom4ever]

I'm in your same boat...but I had to reinstate the cymbalta...

 

This drug has a complete hold on my nervous system and i am SO angry...

but what am I to do now? I trusted in the doc's that prescribed it...

 

I'm on day 12 of reinstating and not feeling great... shaky and panicy...(sympathetic nervous system overdrive)....

 

I've called the doc multiple times since restarting... He does appear to care... taking one day at a time...

 

Don't let this drug take your life..... I've thought the same thoughts....

 

Eli Lilly WILL get theirs in the end.... They have destroyed to many people's lives... I'm trusting in the Lord...

 

(((((HUGS))))))

[compsports]

i took the valium 2mg amd i dont feel right i feel suicidal. i don t feel in control anymore (not that i was) i feel not right now. i am scared of doctors and what they might do to me. I have never felt this hopeless before. Not like this.

 

In need,

 

Please hang on.

 

Maybe journaling would help you deal with your feelings. Don't judge, just let anything come out that comes to mind.

 

You are understandably scared but take control even if you're not feeling great. You can do this.

 

CS

[Altostrata]

InNeed, hang on. We're all sending healing thoughts your way.

 

Here's something your neurologist might consider: Switching you to a low dose of Savella (milnacipran).

 

I recently had a conversation with a knowledgeable doctor who pays attention to the complications of getting people off antidepressants. He said he might switch patients with pain sensitivity who are taking Cymbalta or Effexor or another SNRI to Savella (milnacipran), and then taper them off the Savella.

 

He said that Savella is mostly a NRI (norepinephrine uptake inhibitor) and its SRI (serotonin reuptake inhibitor) component is much weaker than Cymbalta or Effexor etc. The NRI component would help dampen the pain reaction while the SRI part would enable the substitution for a stronger SNRI (Cymbalta or Effexor etc.).

 

He believes Savella is easier to taper than Cymbalta or Effexor etc. -- but it still requires careful tapering.

 

http://www.drugs.com/pro/savella.html

 

 

In other news, I've forwarded a sincere apology from the Critical Psychiatry Network to you regarding that awful response. They are still on the lookout for a doctor to recommend.

[angie007]

Hi INneed,

 

You have to hang on, i know its hard and i know how bad it can be, i also understand your phobia of taking other medications

I have provided you with Stuart Shipko Md email address, please email him and ask for advice, he has a lot of expertise with wd problems and im sure he will reply

and maybe if nothing else offer you some advice and reassurance.

[InNeedOfHope]

Thank you for your replies, I do keep a diary mostly to work out different symptoms, to work out patterns for dropping but its not really doing that much good I don't think.

 

I have so many problems but my biggest, is the pain, my left hand side of my face and shoulder and back of head is becoming paralysed again, it is spreading to my ear. It is worsening the lower I go. I am frightened it will end up bleeding like it did when I took the extra tablet. The suicidal thoughts today were the worst I have ever had, because I can see no way out and realise even Diazapam does nothing to cover the severity of the pain. I truly believe deep down mmy family would be better off without me. My husband is saying he is feeling out of his depth at helping me and is getting closer to taking to hospital by the day which he does not want to do, because he believes that would be the end of my personality for good. He says he has to do what he can to keep me alive.

 

I thank you for suggesting the new medicine, but it hasn't been out long. The problem I have even one day of reducing one bead brings agony, so I have no idea how I would respond to any kind of switch. I will mention it to the neurologist though. Thank you for saying that about the Psychiatric Network.

 

I am confused I read this from someone else's thread (JoLe)who was counting out Cymbalta:

 

Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale.

July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg.

 

Am I right in thinking a 30mg tablet of Cymbata has 111mg of beads? Would a tablet have as much as two thirds of filler to a third of ingredient? Is it this much?

 

I am sad this person started reducing but did not come back.

 

Sorry for making so many posts at this time.

 

I want to open a discussion on going too fast/ too slow, to further the discussion Pun started off...is that ok?

[Altostrata]

Sure, continue the discussion Pun started.

 

The tip about Savella was given me by a doctor who's given a great deal of thought to these withdrawal problems.

 

I doubt Stuart Shipko will help via e-mail. He's in Southern California.

 

The weight of a capsule or tablet includes the active ingredient and filler. Yes, there can be a lot of filler in a capsule or tablet. This is one of the reasons why taking the pellets out of the tablet is an inexact way to taper -- but it's the best you can do with Cymbalta, which is impossible to make into a liquid since the pellets themselves have a coating protecting them from stomach acids.

 

InNeed, your husband sounds as supportive as he can be. But he is right, he cannot fix you. You might want to make it clear to him what you need from him is his love and support, not a solution, because that is something he can't give you.

 

If you would like JoLe to come back (I'd like to see her again, too), write her a pm.

[Barbarannamated]

Hi InNeed ~

I've been thinking about you and hope you've found some relief -

Barb

[Daisy]

InNeedOfHope,

 

I have read your posts and I am scared for you. Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself safe and alive. If you need to go to the ER, do it!!! You sound like you are in a very bad place right now and are in a crisis that needs to be managed now.

 

Please do the right thing for yourself and your family. Get some help NOW and get through this crisis. Then go back to your plan with all the information you have learned, and the support of the people in you life and move forward.

 

Know that I care and want you in a safe place.

 

Love and Peace always

[Nikki]

HI Inneed...

 

You poor kid you are going thru the ringer with this. About Cipro & UTI's: I am on Cipro right now for a bladder infection & intestinal infection. I have just finished a taper from Imipramine so the Cipro is even harder to tolerate. It gives me anxiety and depression. It causes severe, vivid nightmares and makes me feel like I have a flu. I feel like I am losing my mind on it.

 

Cipro + Withdrawal = a very hard time emotionally and physcially.

 

A culture is the only way to tell for sure if there is an infection present, what germ it is and what antiobiotic will work. Ask the MD to swap out Cipro for another antiobiotic. Please bear in mind that they all have side effects. They are strong drugs.

 

Additionally, after chronic UTI's the bladder becomes inflamed, and there is scar tissue, in addition to the mucus lining of the bladder being compromised by the infection. This is called IC Intersitial Cystitis. My daughter and I have had it from numerous infections. It can come and go and it feels just like an infection. To stop the symptoms a pain killer will help for a day or two. There is Pyridium and a few other bladder analgesics. Drink water and add baking soda to it to neutralize the bladder. You can also drink Alka Seltzer.

 

Trust me on this. My daughter and I could write a book on UTI's.

 

You are in the throes of withdrawal. It's not the real you. It is the medicine withdrawal.

 

During my own tapers (I've had a few), I had to go back up in dose to stabilize.

 

Can you ask around (friends, family) who know of a Psych that they trust that you can go see?

 

If you take anything else for an infection or another AD, please google as much information as you can. Arm yourself with knowledge. Can a benzo help with the anxiety?

 

Lots of Hugs...

[InNeedOfHope]

I don't know what made me write today, possibly because I am so low. I found that reading the boards at times gave me health anxiety and made me panic even more.

 

My situation at present is I am on 12.8mg.

 

I now have paralysis down the left hand side of my body and limited use of my left arm. The paralysis is spreading throughout my face and head and sides of neck. I am also having great pain in my right hand / leg. I have SEVERE pain in my liver (especially when I eat) in fact all my pain is more chronic when I eat.

 

I have bad bladder pain (no infection) and at the moment severe chest compression (like elephants sitting on my chest) and pain within the bones.

 

Sorry for too much info but I have green and yellow stools and find it impossible to digest food properly. Also anxiety and depression from pain.

 

I am severely anaemic and have only ferritin of 3 left in my liver.

 

Severe chills, burning sweating.

 

The GP has been seeking help and wants me to go into hospital to have the drug removed cold turkey and be hooked up to machines and given morphine, that is the wish of my psychiatrist. No one seems to get that morphine does not control bodily functions. STILL NO ONE MEDICAL GETS IT. After all I have been through.

 

I range from sleeping 1 hour to 3 a night. I cannot tell the difference between dreams and reality. I wake up in a panic wanting to take another tablet, thinking i have forgotten, my family have to reassure me.

 

My close friend is in hospital with brain cancer and is paralysed so I am dealing with that too.

 

I currently reduce around 0.2mg a week so I have another 60 weeks to go and the thought just makes me want to die now, as each drop is steadily getting worse with the paralysis spreading and I fear having a stroke or a heart attack or liver failure. As it is I am sure I am damaged for life and will never live a normal life again. I have ingested this stuff now for 20 months and I think that if I had my time again after being on it only 4 months I should have got off quickly with the use of valium as it was obviously not for me, but I will never know.

 

I take valium only once or twice a month and to be honest it does not have any effect now, after I took it for a period of two weeks around two months ago.I tapered off that within the two weeks, but it does not seem to have made any difference.

 

Everyone's talk of swapping from this med to Prozac does not seem to go well and I can see why...it does not replace one for another. I read Lundeliz post about head pressure and have that now.

 

So if losing 2 beads a week does all this to me, what will losing 124 in one hit do for me. I am losing the support of my wider family as they think I should follow medical advice to go in hospital.

 

Am I going to die? Is this medicine killing me? I have made around 26 , 2 bead reductions and the thought of another 60 I just cant deal with as it is steadily going worse. Oh I have the usual heart racing banging, going dangerously slow too, my bp dropping very low at night unless i keep moving.

 

Am I going to survive this? Because I feel right now I am slowly dying and losing my battle and the thought of leaving my children motherless is too much to bear.

[InNeedOfHope]

ps sorry I have not been around to support anyone else. Just reading any other health stuff made me freak out at times and I think I feel frustration that there are no answers. I wish this hell could end for all of us.

[Barbarannamated]

InNeed,

I'm glad you stopped in but so sad that you are still going through such hell. Yes, you must guard your mind and stay with anything that keeps you hopeful and not add to your distress.

 

I know you know how to handle the docs as you did with the Neurologist in the ER. I agree 100% with your feelings to stay away from psychiatry. They, along with ciprofloxacin, have caused you great harm.

 

I've always felt strongly that your case is clearly Neurological. I hope you are receiving the proper attention from the appropriate specialists.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. What is the cause of her paralysis? Are you able to see her or go out at all?

 

I've thought of you often these past months. I wish I had more to offer you.

 

Love and hugs,

Barb

[InNeedOfHope]

Thank you for replying.

 

My friend is in the final stages of melanoma cancer which has spread to the brain, the paralysis is caused by pressure from the nodules in her brain.

 

I realised last night that for me I don't think I have that much longer left. I am in a sorry state and it won't be long before I am forced to be hospitalised as I can function any longer and then I will be in their hands and I know I will surely die as they will just remove the medicine.

 

I can't really leave the house as I can't walk more than 20 paces without severe pain and feeling as if I will collapse. I did make it to see my friend as my husband took me and they used a wheelchair to take me to see her for a short time.

 

The pressure in my head is severe and crushing and last night I panicked as I had stabbing all over my body, my right leg feels it is being crushed and my neck is swollen around the jaw and throat area and sort of the area behind my ears. The stabbing is in my head too. I couldn't walk at all last night, as the joints at the top of my legs wouldn't work. Each drop is getting progressively worse and I know physically I will be incapable of doing this 60 more times, as I am struggling with pain and being able to maintain my weight. I have stabbing in my joints too and keep collapsing due to what appears to be asthma attacks. I have difficulty urinating and my periods are getting longer and the gap between them shorter, hence the loss of blood volume (they had difficulty taking blood last time)

 

If I google heart attack symptoms in women, I am in increasingly getting stronger and stronger symptoms and it is this along with the fear of stroke that concerns me the most if they remove the medicine.

 

I have a pattern of appearing to go to fast, so I slow it down using Valium, some of those symptoms abate but then within a few weeks the symptoms are sharper and more intense than when I went fast. I don't know what I am doing anymore.

 

The GP wanted me referred to a specialist hospital and can't get anywhere so has had to bow to the judgement of the local hospital psychiatrist to admit me and remove it under supervision with the aid of monitors if required and pain relief (morphine she said) but still no one listens to what happens when I remove 2 beads. All the monitors in the world won't keep my heart beating if they remove the drug.

 

I don't want to die, and I have struggled now for 18 months of WD after taking this for only 4 months. I think this drug is so powerful in that it shuts down and I think I have just ingested it for too long. I see other bad cases but none where people have paralysis and loss of the use of limbs. My left arm and side (upper side) including face, I have lost the use of. The doctor says my ears have raised blood vessels indicating a virus of some kind but I know it is WD. I get what appears to be hives and boils too. Over night, my BP drops to 100/50 and pulse is 50 and I have to keep moving to bring it back up, but I am exhausted and can't move well either so I stagger round the bedroom

 

I do all I am supposed to: I try to read, to watch tv, to have a bath to relax, epsom salts, ice to numb pain, to eat whether I feel like it or not. To try to move when I feel I can't, but it all seems futile, as I can't fight this medicine. I WANT TO DO THINGS AND I CAN'T. The ironic thing is apart from health anxiety, I deal with normal anxiety so much better, knowing bad events will pass and become distant and that keeping busy if only I could physically do it, is a helpful antidote to anxiety. But i do panic from pain, fearing this is it... a heart attack this time....

 

I just reduce every 7 days as any pattern I had has gone. Staying on the same dose makes me feel worse, but then again, when I reduce these days I am no longer worried I am petrified.

 

I am soon going to have no choice but to be handed over to the hospital (My family can't cope with looking after me physically and emotionally, my husband wrote to the GP begging for help) and that alone I think will kill any hope or spirit I ever had.

 

My question is this, if valium does not appear to be effective any longer and they remove this med, what else could they give me in an emergency to relax the muscles so I do not have a heart attack or a stroke?

 

I would appreciate any ideas, as I am not exaggerating when I say I feel I am close to losing my life and my children need me. It is one thing to be incapacitated or slowly recovering, it is another to feel their life is at risk from any future decisions I make. Please can anyone help or advise as it appears switches don't go so well with Cymbalta and I am scared of doing permanent damage.

 

Barb, I see what u have gone through recently and it makes me weep all that we all have to suffer.

 

Sorry for the long post, I am just desperate.